Session 92 - I Only Die Organ-ic

Well that was fun... for me. I'm glad I get to reset my internal "Sessions since last death" counter, how will I keep my DM rep otherwise?! Charles' CHEESY SUMMARY MAN Recap: Following last session's STICKY SITUATION with Mobi's slime mould cousins, another electrifying episode this week sees our heroes CHASING THE LIGHTNING in hopes for treasure! Dreams are crushed however when the loot is actually just some RAINY DAY PENNIES. After trying out their musical skills, the session comes to a close with AN EXPLOSIVE ENDING. Will our brave heroes ever escape with their treasure box penny jar? And will they ever get all the bits of dead explorer brain out of their hair? STAY TUNED for next episode of "I'm stuck in a dungeon and I can't get out"!

Session 92 - I Only Die Organ-ic

Campaign Date:

Friday, 27 December, 1549
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:- Dr Witsk Von Held, Specialist, partially generated and so background as yet unknown.
- Cranky Jim, Dwarf, partially generated and so background as yet unknown.

Enemies Defeated:
- A smallish giant spider (25 exp)

Total: 25 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 2sp, 10012cp (1004 exp)
- 3 gilded tapestry rods (1500 exp)

Total: 2504 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the second level of the Grinding Gear dungeon (200 exp)
- Explored 20 dungeon rooms (400 exp)
- 6 secret doors discovered (300 exp)

Total: 900 exp

Events:
- Between sessions, the party manages to meet up near where the gelatinous cube was AND somehow lose notable damage-sponges Stabbington and Jain. Trepidation is felt. (50 exp)
- Descending some steps, the party finds a door telling them the true test of their skills has just begun. Lovely. (50 exp)
- Spiral stairs are within, and lo! The room below seems to match Lulu's map! (50 exp)
- Following the map, a secret door is discovered. A magical trap specified on Lulu's map is inspected by way of a blindfolded scout and Guido, who gives a rundown of the wall murals. (50 exp)
- Ignoring the trap room, the party continues into what the map calls a false tomb. Indeed, Lulu's death sight mask shows a different person to the guy's statue outside. (50 exp)
- In an annex off the room, a plundered secret treasure room! Some bits of broken box are taken, as are a few coins accidentally left by whoever the looters were. (50 exp)

- The map says secret doors to the north. True! Albeit they're already solved. Lulu manages to luck her way through the answers using the murals of Richrom's life and some clever guesswork, albeit getting zapped by lightning for each wrong answer (50 exp)
- At the end of the corridor, a tomb where the REAL corpse has been looted already. Or so it seems... Lulu's death mask shows her it's also not the real guy. What the fuck, man. (50 exp)
- With the place checked out and mostly looted, things seem bad. Eleyn laments the historical accuracy of pre-looted tombs. (50 exp)
- One choice remains - the star chamber with the alleged magical trap. Turns out there's no trap... but a secret door is found in there too. (50 exp)
- Inside, an offering bowl. Leaving some coins on it results in a rumbling sound. Inspection reveals a brass hand emerging from the wall in the looted treasure room. (50 exp)
- The hand is both pointing to the opposite wall and looking invitingly in need of a handshake. Nora complies, getting zapped by the giant joy buzzer to within an inch of her life. (50 exp)
- Helpfully the hand was pointing out a SECRET DOOR in the looted treasure room. Unfortunately there is a big ol' spider in the way. Eleyn slams in with the big Gambit and murders the poor arachnid. (50 exp)

- Inside the secret bit, a chest BRIMMING WITH COINS! Celebrations are slightly curtailed when it's discovered to contain 10,000 copper coins which represent a difficulty in transportation. (50 exp)

- Somewhat disappointed, the crew head up the spiral stairs to leave. And discover there is NO WAY OUT. The corridor has been blocked by a significantly large piece of sliding masonry. (50 exp)
- Contemplating their slow deaths by starvation, Nora feels a slight breeze in the first downstairs room, finding yet another secret door! (50 exp)
- The room at the end features buttons and levers. Trying out all the combinations for a while results in a secret door opening! Inside, a blocked escape tunnel. Brill. (50 exp)

- Luckily the other secret door is found right next to it, opening into a room with chairs surrounding a large organ. A plaque on the north wall exhorts the party to play the right music. (50 exp)
- Several different pieces are attempted with mixed results, until Gashbringer decides to just mash the keys. There is a large explosion. He does not survive. (50 exp)
- Nora is unfortunately also caught in the blast. Eleyn, out of the room, barely hears her final scream. (50 exp)
- Sophia manages to survive... barely. Unconscious, bleeding out, and with a bit of organ pipe piercing a lung, she's in a bad way. Fortunately Zan's quasi-godly healing powers bring her back from the brink. (50 exp)
- Behind the now-exploded organ is a plaque reading "Ha ha the door was open the whole time". Disgruntlement ensues. (50 exp)
- Behind said door is a series of puzzle rooms, unsolved. Somehow Zan remembers Richrom's wife's name, Lulu grabs the guy's full name from a previous false tomb, and guesses the number of guest rooms at the Grinding Gear based on the previous king's entourage puzzle. Cracking stuff. (50 exp)
- The final chamber (including a broken-open sarcophagus) is briefly explored. Gilded tapestry rods are removed from the ceiling and mirrored corridor ends are found, and everything is really rather mysterious. Where the fuck is the exit?! (50 exp)

Total: 1200 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Riddlemaster bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Famous Last Words bonus (James & Andy's next character - 200 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Sophia - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but the dead - 2*100 exp ea.)

Total:  450 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Nora, killed in a great explosion when Gashbringer decided it'd be a good idea to play random keys on the puzzle organ.

- Gashbringer, killed in a great explosion when he decided it'd be a good idea to play random keys on the puzzle organ.
- Sophia, survived the organ explosion... barely... with sundry internal injuries and a punctured lung.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 37308 (Level up at 64000)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 21443 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 10634 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 6019 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points!
James / Nora, Level 1 Specialist (Jack of All Trades): 1106 (Level up at 1500)*DECEASED*
Kitty / Sophia, Level 1 Necromancer: 716 (Level up at 2250)
Andy / Gashbringer, Level 1 Barbarian: 321 (Level up at 2000)
*DECEASED*James / Dr Witsk Von Held, Level 1 Specialist: 0 (Level up at 1500)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 1 Dwarf: 0 (Level up at 2200)
Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 25765 (Level up at 35200)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 57812 (Level up at 64000)
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4655 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 91 - Can't Stop the Glop

A dungeon of traps! How wondrous. This can only end well!

This session's art comes courtesy of Ollie / Lulu who is still mentally recovering from nearly being devoured in her sleep..

See you next week!

Session 91 - Can't Stop the Glop

Campaign Date:

Thursday, 26 December, 1549
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:- A Necromancer, a vagrant and fan of the group who's been following them for quite some time, scrounging those they've killed for spell components.
- A Barbarian whose job as a Scribe was remarkably unsatisfying.
- Both of whom must have taken their character sheets home!? Oh noooo now I can't scan their sheets for their names. Names pending for now.

Enemies Defeated:
- 3 masses of green globby gunk, slain with ice or fire (150 exp)
- A magic user and two specialists, doomed by demon (75 exp)
- A large cuboid jelly (100 exp)

Total: 325 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 3gp, 18sp, 26cp (121 exp)
- 87 iron rations
- 4 small sacks
- 6 large sacks
- 24 iron spikes
- ten flasks of oil
- 2x 50' rope
- 12 torches
- a 10' pole
- A heavy crossbow
- Quiver of crossbow bolts
- Battleaxe
- A lantern
- Silver earrings (100 exp)
- Carved ivory statuette of a hippopotamus (250 exp)
- Small burnished carving of St McIver (50 exp)
- Spellbook containing Detect Magic, Read Magic, Shield, Sleep, Floating Disk
- Large marble statuette of St McIver (250 exp)

Total: 521 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the first level of the Grinding Gear dungeon (100 exp)
- Explored 6 dungeons areas (120 exp)
- 3 secret doors discovered (150 exp)

Total: 370 exp

Events:
- After (presumably) waiting for Lulu to come back from moonlighting as Santa Claus, the party, including a couple of new additions, descends the ladder into the dungeon. (50 exp)
- The first thing they notice is the filth. The second thing is the largeish holes in the ceiling. The third thing is a sign that finishes with "I hate adventurers". Sounds like this place will be a laugh. (50 exp)
- The door is opened with Sophia's hook-on-a-pole with no ill effects. A sign saying "family crypt, please do not enter" is seen and automatic Tomb busters protocols turn on. (50 exp)
- Stabbington, eyes excited, pushes open the door and is punctured by several thin needles which turn his finger blue and a bit swollen. (50 exp)
- A mysterious lack of wall-holes partway down the corridor is investigated to find a secret door. Sick! It is avoided for now. (50 exp)
- The corridor ends in a door, blocked from the rear. An attempt to blast the thing open results in someone inside yelling in shock. (50 exp)
- While Jain continues attempts to blast through the door, Eleyn sets off down the secret corridor with part of the group. (50 exp)
- The stairs continue, ending in a door. To Eleyn's displeasure a bunch of green glop drops on her head and begins rapidly converting her and her equipment into more of itself (50 exp)
- Lulu attempts to attack the gunk but it begins eating at her magic sword. Fuck! Acting quickly, Sophia a ghost at the slime to blast it into the wall. I am happy that I can write that sentence. (50 exp)
- Eleyn opens the door quickly and darts out, trapping the slime behind it. (50 exp)
- Upstairs, Jain has been blasting Decay+Explosion at the door until a handspan-wide hole is blasted in the centre. The wizard inside somehow distrusts the people who have tried to batter their way in. (50 exp)
- Stabbington Shanks leans in to give him a Tomb Busters business card and ironically finds himself stabbed with shanks. They damage his armour a bunch but that's about it. (50 exp)
- OH ITS ON NOW say everyone up there, especially when the wizard starts casting a spell. (50 exp)
- Several people pull Stabbington's body out of the hole and Jain squirts some water through the hole via a water rune, then follows up with a beam of lightning. (50 exp)
- The shock fries one of the shankers inside and disrupts the Wizard's spell, a blast of uncontrolled energy surging into Jain with unknown consequences. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile the other group has tried ascending some nearby stairs. A section of wall blasts out and knocks them backwards down the stairs. Tee hee. (50 exp)
- Crawling on their bellies the group bypasses the springloaded wall and continues, eventually finding a T-intersection and turning into it. (50 exp)
- An untrapped door, once again opened via hook-pole, is opened. Inside is a stone statue of McIver on a wooden cart. (50 exp)
- There are not one but TWO chunks of green goop on the ceiling, causing all sorts of mischief. Luckily the gunk is scared of fire and nobody is actually digested. (50 exp)
- The statue was stannding on a spring-loaded trap door that springs up when the statue is removed by a dive tackle. The group descend... (50 exp)
- Back at the door, the fight goes poorly for those in the room. The dagger hand of one is caught in an alms bowl when NEW NECROMANCER NAME HERE pretends to cast a spell, and Jumurak comes in with a classic Summon Punch while he's distracted (50 exp)
- The magic travels through his body and expels itself behind him as a crystal demon, limbs full of eldritch machinery and mercifully under Jumurak's control. The wizard, attempting to climb the wall to escape getting shocked again, stands no chance and is dismembered. (50 exp)
- The crystal demon turns and eviscerates the last guy, absorbing pieces of him and absorbing them into its crystalline body. Its last act is to scrape the blockage from the door before collapsing into a single point in space. (50 exp)
- Inside the room, those guys' equipment... plus some amount of treasure that they found down here! (50 exp)
- The second group creeps along the tunnel and out into the paper-lined bottom of a pit. Embedded slightly into the paper are several yellow-clawed people lying stock still. (50 exp)
- Lulu goes to attack one but OH NO THEY ARE ALIVE which everyone already guessed. They attack but Eleyn and Nora smash the crap out of them with astonishingly effective SISTER COMBO ATTACKS. (50 exp)
- The spell written on the walls - "Perfectly Coiffured Hair". I wonder what it does. (50 exp)
- The first group after they've committed a triple homicide, they travel down the secret corridor and try another direction. After passing a bunch of statue-containing alcoves ANOTHER CLASSIC MONSTER. (50 exp)
- The gelatinous cube fumbles dramatically and accidentally pours the coins it's holding in its gloopy flesh into NECROMANCER NAME HERE's alms bowl. (50 exp)
- Many stabs later, the jelly cube blobs into a sludgy mess. With the party now split up, we end the session. (50 exp)Total: 1500 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- C-C-C-C-Combo bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)

Total:  650 exp + bonus
Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Sessions since last death: 4

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 57812 (Level up at 64000)
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4655 (Level up at 6000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 36382 (Level up at 64000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 25765 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 20517 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 9708 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 5093 (Level up at 6000)
James / Nora, Level 1 Specialist (Jack of All Trades): 1106 (Level up at 1500)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 1 Necromancer: 716 (Level up at 2250)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Andy / Andy's Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 321 (Level up at 2000)

Absent or Retired:
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Retrospective 9 - Science and Summoning

Man, this is a great time for the game.
Summoning mishap! The Knight of Science! Gypsies! Magma rune they thought was an air rune! The amoeba demon!
Where do I begin?

Perhaps with the people.
By session 90 we have many of the characters who will survive to the time of writing (Feb 2017).

Lulu Spiderbite, of course. Barbarian of many ridiculous powers, many of which I forget about until she begins murdering people.
Jain Doe, Dwarf with a real hardcore angle on rune magic. She accidentally murders a character in a tragic rune dyslexia accident, to my effervescent glee.
Jumurak, truly the second Jumurak but I eventually dropped the "Jumurak2" moniker. Summoned the amoeba demon which would become his prized pet and thorn in my side.
Zan, a Cleric who is a para-dimensional pseudo-clone of the departed Zea. Intended originally to become Zea when he caught up to his former self in levels, declined to do so.
And finally Sophia, a Necromancer who has quietly gone on to become one of the most powerful characters in the game.

An honourable mention goes to Eleyn, played by Tom who was mentioned last time. She's gone but technically still alive in the campaign world, albeit she's got the body of a genitalia demon and is used as a living womb by frog monsters.

Kitty was new, playing Sophia the Necromancer. She's great and nowadays the de facto controller of Guido the Silver Skeleton and her in-game husband POWERMAN. You'll see that happen when they reach the Slaughtergrid in a few months of recaps!
Also new, another James! Nowadays he's known as James Ratman due to his stint as the first Ratman the game ever had, but as of these recaps he plays Eleyn's sister Nora.

Finally we had Oliver R, playing a Specialist. He was a regular for a while before just sort of dropping off the radar, I'm not sure where he is these days.


Art Attacks start dropping with some regularity, the competition hots up! Soon I will have to give additional exp rewards for extra exceptional art. It's awesome!


Gamewise, we had the finale of the Rune Dungeon! Goblina, a previous player's character, took the place of the original final boss crystal thing.
More importantly, we had the FEAR OF A BLACKENED PLANET summoned into the world via a botched Summon ritual from the Summon-happy Jumurak.
Most saved, but the illustrious Stabbington Shanks became a survivalist prepper forevermore! Or at least, for a while.
He regained his mind via a glyph focused through a shard from the shattered dragon crystal, but I think that might have been a mistake really. Maybe Dom would have stayed if he'd started a new character.

No matter. After escaping the rune dungeon through an alternate exit, they were lost in the mountains for a while before finding their way to the walled city of Gush.
D-oom's excellent Mead & Mayhem got a good workout! The bar brawl resulted in Jumurak using Summon once more, managing to create a completely loyal amoeba demon! They tell this tale often, but I was quite drunk at the time and readily agreed to the idea that it would eat HP and split any time it doubled its HP.
Boy did that come in handy. I can't really complain though, every other time he'd cast Summon it had ended in disaster!

Mt White Plume was attempted and soon abandoned as a bad job. It's a death trap.
You may notice a theme in that Tom's characters keep dying. Ironically, his longest-surviving character would go on to die over and over before being cursed to a horrific form of life.
The BEST THING EVER happened in Mt White Plume though. Told that Jain the Dwarf was a powerful rune mage, Bohemund requested a Create Air glyph to assist him in breathing underwater. To his downfall, it was actually a Create Magma glyph. He died instantly.

Their next stop in Pembrooktonshire was where they met the Knight of Science and also discovered that gypsies exist in the campaign world.
Somehow the group really enjoyed the idea of actual gypsies being in the game, racism and all.
Coming from Australia where you don't really get gypsies, this was a surprise to me! To be fair, my Australian girlfriend used to think that gypsies were a mythical creature like goblins or elves, which goes to show what Australians are like really.
The Knight of Science was great fun. I played him as a combo of Judge Dredd and myself as a thirteen year old evangelical atheist. He's still remembered fondly.

After burning him to death in a house and fleeing town (a traditional LotFP manoeuvre), the party went on to enter the Grinding Gear which is one of those older LotFP modules published before Raggi decided to stop using generic D&D monsters.
They ended up burning that place down too.

Mini Reviews

Rune Dungeon
Back once again, this dungeon's really had a workout! Using the hyper-mutated goblin children of a former character as the progenitor of one of the dungeon's factions was a lot of fun!
They found an exit then went back in and rinsed the place. They left with rune technologies, and I think they must have started working on their plans for an airship almost immediately.
A year on, and no such airship has appeared yet. One day maybe.

Mead & Mayhem
Honourable mention for this doozy of a booklet. Basic gimmick - roll a d30 every round of a bar fight, most results add a bonus to the next round's d30 roll which means things tend to escalate entertainingly!

White Plume Mountain
Remarkably small for a module of such pedigree, they never got past the first couple of rooms.
On the one hand, the players were well below the recommended level. On the other hand, my group is smart and cunning and ruthless.

Tom lost two characters in a row in the kelpie room, both times due to player actions (a wrongly-drawn rune and a summoning accident).
They fled, saying they'd come back later. At time of writing they have not yet done so.

No Dignity in Death: The Three Brides
This one was a lot of fun to run. Albeit I only ran the first part - Small Town Murder - before the players fled town.
All very social, not much combat, a murder mystery. Gypsies suspected, but in the end the players helped them escape rather than prove their innocence.
The best part is the Knight of Science who is this incredible rationalist law-abiding and overwhelmingly GOOD character who obeys the LAW and is NEVER WRONG.
I loved hamming this guy up. I kind of wish the party hadn't burnt him to death!

The Grinding Gear
A legitimate death trap dungeon that the players got stuck inside (by design) for a while.
They actually did shockingly well, as far as I remember. More on it in the next retrospective I guess, since they spend several frustrated sessions in there.
Since it's an early LotFP module, goblins and stirges and stuff are present. I reskinned them for my purposes. Most notably the stirges became Blood Birds - thin-beaked blood drinking doom-birds which spiralled out of the roof and swarmed people. They were fearsome!

Session 90 - Murder of Murderbirds Mean to Murder Murderous Murderer Murderers

So thanks for coming to our housewarming guys! It was mad fun.

Charles' summary of the session to be read as the summary guy in Dragonball Z:CASE CLOSED ON CSI PENBROOKTONSHIRE. OUR BRAVE HEROES DISCOVERED THE WEDDING MURDERER WAS LITTLE MORE THAN A BUZZ. FROM THE BELLY OF MOBI THE AMOEBA, THAT'S LAST WEEK'S DIGEST. Onward our heroes went to a STRANGE VILLAGE hoping to get some treasure and fame. Little did they know they would end up SLEEPING ON THE JOB. Thankfully the ANGRY BIRDS got more than they bargained for when Jumfrozor PECKED them out of the air!

Bumper bonus GIANT RECAP to make up for lateness and also due to GIANT GROUP. See you next time!
And somebody grab that table before Douche McGee gets it again.

Session 90 - Murder of Murderbirds Mean to Murder Murderous Murderer Murderers

Campaign Date:

Tuesday, 24 December, 1549
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:
- Brand Earthhammer, a Fighter who left his job as a stevedore to take up his dream job of lanternbearing and watching people get eaten alive.
- Sophia, a former bellringer with a great fear of bells and a talent for Necromancy.

Enemies Defeated:
- 4 Soldiers of Science, iced and shocked and absorbed into a blob (40 exp)
- Several innocents (0 exp)
- Hundreds and hundreds of horrible little red birds (500 exp)

Total: 540 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Two freshly printed illuminated bibles, one slightly damaged (800 exp)
- A small wooden statue of St McIver, head worked into a key shape (5 exp)

Total: 805 exp

Exploration:
- First party to find the Grinding Gear, a suspicious abandoned inn (100 exp)
- Explored 8 inn areas (160 exp)
- 1 secret room found (50 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Events:
- Hoping to get to the bottom of the small town murder, the group splits up. (50 exp)
- One group heads to the Knight of Science's commandeered house, finding the confused remains of the Knight of Science's retinue still living there. (50 exp)
- The other group, including Lulu in gypsy garb, heads to the bookbindery where the new Bumblebee Bandit book is being printed. (50 exp)
- On the way, Group One meet Brand Earthhammer who offers to be a lanternbearer for them. (50 exp)
- Group Two tries to gain entry to the bookbindery but is rebuffed. Lulu barges past the servant in the doorway and OH NO THERE'S A GYPSY IN THE BUILDING (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Zan heads down the hill a bit to chat with a local and meets the mysterious Sophia. (50 exp)
- Back with Group One, Jain dresses up in Soldier of Science armour and heads into the house with Stabbington. The priest, questioned about his involvement with the Knight, seems baffled and confused. (50 exp)
- Eleyn, also with group one, sneaks round to the other door and sees the Squire cryiNNiiiiiiiinfhhh(5hhh0exp)hhh
- Eleyn, also with group one, sneaks round to the other door and sees the Squire's empty room, including a locked chest. She and Nora nab it. (50 exp)
- Jain's pretense at being a Soldier of Science is seen through due to her obviously being a Dwarf. The other soldiers, suspecting foul play, try to murder her. (50 exp)- Things have gotten messy back with Group 2. Lulu's horrid kazoo playing allows her to nip into the back room and find all the newly bound Bumblebee Bandit books. (50 exp)
- Charmington has legged it by this point, chased by a small mob. (50 exp)
- Back at the Knight's house, Jain and Stabbington have killed off most of the soldiers. The priest and the last remaining soldier flee. (50 exp)
- Lulu grabs a couple of big illuminated bibles and legs it towards the Knight's house, seeing the fleeing priest and nailing him and his buddy with a thrown bible. They fall. (50 exp)
- Zan, Eleyn and Nora, meanwhile, have dressed in priestly robes and taken the chest to the husband of the deceased's house. (50 exp)
- After questioning the nice-but-slow guy about the murder, somebody finally opens the chest to discover a blood-stained bumblebee bandit costume! The murder was the Squire... who unfortunately died and was eaten some time ago. (50 exp)
- Lulu spares the priest after a moment of GREAT INTENSITY, philanthropically giving him 30 gold pieces to fix up the Church. (50 exp)
- Finally rejoining, the party heads out of town at a fairly rapid pace. Our heroes have significantly increased the number of murders in Pembrooktonshire in their pursuit of justice. (50 exp)
- Deciding to check out Lulu's map, the party travels towards the Grinding Gear, a tavern built by a man with a notoriously complicated attitude towards adventuring types. (50 exp)
- A statue in the middle of the courtyard is surrounded by dead creatures in various states of decay. Mostly goblins, but also wolves and humans, all with ominous puntures in their flesh. (50 exp)
- The chapel is investigated first, clearly heavily looted but dedicated to St McIver, patron saint of blacksmiths, tinkerers and inventors. A wooden statuette and a broken cremation urn are all that remain. (50 exp)
- The stables contain a single very weary and emaciated horse, owner nowhere to be seen. (50 exp)
- The inn itself also seems dilapidated and well-looted. The only thing of real note being a barrel of old food in the pantry and a strange little red bird seen flitting from the roof. (50 exp)
- Further investigations find a torture chamber in the basement. Ominous. (50 exp)
- Lulu decides to investigate the statue and is caught in a blast of sleeping gas when she finds the entrance to the dungeons beneath. She falls into a deep slumber. (50 exp)
- Attracted by the smell of gas, horrible red birds descend from the roof in their hundreds. It's feeding time! (50 exp)
- While Brand the Lanternbearer stands back laughing, the rest of the party rush in to help. (50 exp)
- Most significant contributions are Jumurak with a whirling Magic Missile punch blender, and Eleyn whipping out the flamethrower and setting the hole in the roof where the birds live on fire. (50 exp)
- True to form the inn is now very much on fire. Yet another problem solved through fire! With the birds dead and/or well cooked, the party collects themselves and stands back as the fire climbs merrily higher. (50 exp)

Total: 1450 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man behind bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Lulu gave generously (1200 exp)

Total:  850 exp + bonus
Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None (!?) I'll have to try harder

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 57491 (Level up at 64000)
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4494 (Level up at 6000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 35961 (Level up at 64000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 25444 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 20196 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 9387 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4772 (Level up at 6000)
James / Nora, Level 1 Specialist (Jack of All Trades): 785 (Level up at 1500)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 1 Necromancer: 395 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)

Absent or Retired:
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 89 - The Knight of Science Burns a Valuable Lesson

With a whole TWO WEEKS in which to write this recap, I have managed to complete it with a whole THREE DAYS to go.

I will finish it with Charles' excellent blurb:
Last week in CSI Pembrooktonshire, Episode 3: the situation HEATS UP for the knight of science when Santa puts him on the NAUGHTY LIST! Meanwhile, Zan and Eleyne save some precious relics FOR THEMSELVES. They've certainly learned a trick or two from those GIPSIES!

Session 89 -  The Knight of Science Burns a Valuable Lesson

Campaign Date:

Saturday, 21 December, 1549
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Sagittarius

Enemies Defeated:
- 3 jailers, outsmarted (15 exp)
- The Knight of Science, burned alive (500 exp)

- Five Soldiers of Science, burned alive (50 exp)
- An innocent family, burned alive (0 exp)
Total: 565 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A crystal ball (500 exp)
- A set of tarot cards
- A bunch of vaguely valuable gypsy knick-knacks (18 sp)
- Hip flask of strong liquor

- Fine quality religious vestments (600 exp)
- Monetary offerings to the Church and other small valuables (400 exp)
- A pair of silvered goblets with matching images of St Jerome (500 exp)
- The Fingerbone of St Barbara in elaborate display case (2500 sp)

- A finely carved mahogany boat depicting the Scaphism of Yeshua (400 exp)
- An illuminated bible (500 exp)
- A pewter thurible (100 exp)
- A silvered monstrance (500 exp)
- A wedding ring inscribed with "apis latronem" (500 exp)

Total: 6518 exp

Exploration:
- Explored the town of Pembrooktonshire, including its dingy holding cells and not-overly-ostentatious church. (100 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Events:
- After the events of the previous session most of the party is scattered to the winds. The Knight of Science is pissed off. Stabbington pledges his services in finding the culprits to the Knight. (50 exp)
- Lulu, hiding in the woods with the rescued gypsy children, sends her dog to the safety of Clunge with the kids. (50 exp)
- Lulu meets with Zan and Eleyn  in the woods and a plan is hatched to free the imprisoned gypsies! She is dressed up like a gypsy, they in Science armour, and escorted to the prison (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Stabbington, Charmington and Reynard loot the fortune teller's wagon under the flimsy excuse of checking for evidence (50 exp)
- Lulu's group make it to jail and enter. Judge Dredd impersonation game strong. The notably scared jailer lets them do whatever. (50 exp)
- The gypsies are released under the pretence that the burning has been brought forward to TODAY! Cheering townsfolk form a crowd and follow through the city. Everyone loves a good burning! (50 exp)

- Stabbington's group, along with the Knight of Science, are attracted by the noise and begin walking into town. Uh oh. (50 exp)
- In an attempt to evade the crowd, the false Soldiers of Science take the gypsies into the Church and fool the priest. The crowd patiently wait outside. (50 exp)
- The group nips past the curtain into the chancel and find the body of the murdered girl lying in state. They nick her ring, some priestly robes, and anything that looks shiny. There is a lot that looks shiny. (50 exp)
- They then nip out the transept door, sending the gypsies off to Lulu's growing Clunge Honey Witness Protection Programme (50 exp)
- The Knight Approacheth! Lulu charges out as a distraction, leading the Knight and his retinue into a nearby cottage. (50 exp)
- The rest of the crew manage to rope the doors shut outside, preventing escape as Lulu enacts her master plan. (50 exp)
- Lulu reveals that she is Santa Claus. This is heretical anti-Science thinking and the Knight asks for proof. The family inside the cottage cower in their communal bed. (50 exp)

- Lulu zips up the chimney, kicking over the coals as she does so. The Knight and his retinue, along with the innocent family within, die screaming as the flames consume them. (50 exp)
- The party mingle with the crowd, pretending it's nothing to do with them. There was indeed a burning tonight. (50 exp)
Total: 750 exp

Misc:
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Child Murderer bonus (50 exp)
- Child Saviour bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Chase bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Schindler's bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Eleyn, Zan and I guess Stabbington for that Bustin' Time one - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Stabbington - 100 exp ea.)
- Extra exp for that amazing "Session 90" recap (Jumurak, Zan, Eleyn - 687 exp ea.)

Total:  600 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- I AM... THE LAW!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None, good job!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 57096 (Level up at 64000)
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4296 (Level up at 6000)
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 34366 (Level up at 64000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 8992 (Level up at 14000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day!Tom / Eleyn, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4377 (Level up at 6000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!

Absent or Retired:
James / Nora, Level 1 Specialist (Jack of All Trades): 390 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 25049 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19801 (Level up at 32000)
Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human