Session 102 - Attack of the Blobs!

Recap away!
I'm writing to you from the wonderful world of the family holiday. This was toootally worth missing D&D for. At least it's easy to hold pokemon gyms here, and Lindisfarne is swarming with Magnemites and Voltorbs for some reason.

This week's art attack from Tom, who's documented the sorry state of the current party.

See you next week!

Session 102 - Attack of the Blobs!

Campaign Date:

Wednesday, 25 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Capricorn

Enemies Defeated:

- An orange blob (100 exp)
- A purple goop (100 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- The sword Goblinfucker
- Poison dart hemisphere
- Golden witch heart (1000 exp)

Total: 1000 exp

Exploration:
- 4 more dungeon areas explored (80 exp)
- 1 group of wandering monsters encountered (50 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)

Total: 180 exp

New Backstory:- Jumurak fell through a roof into a marvellous feast, landing on the centrepiece and earning the tyrant governor's eternal enmity. (Once per session, somehow gain access to a large social event)
- Zan, during his wild night post-flagellant music festival, tried to bribe the guards who showed up. It didn't work, and he ended up in ail. (+1 to gambits)
- Eleyn took the hard option and killed her father, a local noble who claimed the right of the first night at her mother's wedding. (+1 to rolls when you take a morally difficult option)
- Jim gave the tyrant in the mines "one last kiss" when he killed him in secret before escaping to the surface. (next attack does double damage when you kiss someone)
- Sophia met a wounded dog in an alleyway. She took pity on it so killed it, took it home, and raised it as a zombie dog. (+1 to pet beast morale)

Events:
- Ah, the mushroom house. Home of champions. Our heroes gather their things and move on. (50 exp)
- The crew, wondering what happened to the tall bony torture guy they once met, look around the room they met him in. (50 exp)
- Behold! A secret door! They go through, discovered piles and piles of bones sorted and turned into objets d'art and uncomfortable furniture. (50 exp)

- Sophia decides to stock up on spell components... and sets off an acid trap. With acid burns to her face and hair, she falls unconscious. (50 exp)

- The noise attracts none other than the tall bony torture guy! He seems friendly... but behind him is none other than... Charmington! (50 exp)
- Awkward glances are exchanged when everyone realises they forgot about him. The countless cuts on his skin and look of hope mingled with despair in his eyes makes this even more awks. (50 exp)
- Sophia recovers, breathes in a vial of Last Breath, and Subjugate Undead's the big undead guy. Success! He's now your best mate! (50 exp)
- Some requests from Sophia result in the group obtaining Goblinfucker, a sword inlaid with mysterious runes. It glows softly. (50 exp)
- Checking the other ways, one room contains just piles and piles of faeces. The other, a bone card table with chairs. (50 exp)
- Charmington is allowed to stay at the mushroom house and tidy up and nurse his Stockholm Syndrome. The undead guy, whose name is Udem, joins the party. (50 exp)
- The stairs down to the acid are taken and the pool is crossed with the now-standard antigrav rune combo. (50 exp)
- Voices can be heard, so they are followed. Whoever they were seem to have crossed the smaller pool of white pus-slime, so Guido begins ferrying people across. (50 exp)
- But lo! A chunk of grey acidic glop drips on Eleyn while a couple of massive blobs drop down into the main room! The party is split! (50 exp)
- "Prepper Spray" hits those in the back, sending the room into chaos. Those at the front are caught by indecision. Should they help and risk being exposed to the same spray? (50 exp)

- Sophia snaps out of it first, but once again has to deal with the liability that is Powerman on insanity juice. That's relationships for ya! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc's rat swarms do a damn good job of eating into the purple blob, despite the blob's best efforts to blast them with goop. (50 exp)
- Guido's body is destroyed! Sadness! He shall not have sort-of-died in vain! (50 exp)
- Eleyn dies horribly and is briefly mourned, and the blobs are killed soon after. Time to see what's happened to Eleyn this time! (50 exp)
- It turns out stuff's begun to go wrong with the flesh sac. Eleyn emerges deformed, with -3 dexterity, and the ability to see through walls twice a day. She also has some very ratlike features. (50 exp)

- It's near the end of the session, so Rat LeBlanc and the newly rattish Eleyn decide to go down the stairs and see what they find... (50 exp)
- It's three of the witch harpy's bodies! Each slightly more mutated than the last. Eleyn cuts into the ribcage of one and fishes out... a golden heart! (50 exp)
- Close up of Eleyn's eyes going grey. Follow line of sight to see gold-skinned people swimming through walls. One sees her, swims towards her, nose sniffing, mouth agape, teeth glistening. (50 exp)
- Smash cut to black. Cliffhanger ending. (50 exp)

Total: 1150 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Horrifying Realisation bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Jumurak, Zan - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (All new backstory people - 100 exp ea.)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 400 exp + extensive bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, dissolved by acidic blobs.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 34628 (Level up at 36000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 22974 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13313 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 11055 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 9804 (Level up at 17600)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman: 8863 (Level up at 12000)
Tomas / Tomas' Wizard, Level 1 Magic User: 1013 (Level up at 2250)

Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 101 - The First Five Lives of Rat LeBlanc

Many rat deaths last week. Poor old Ratt LeBlanc and his multiple pregnancies.

This week we have an exceptional pokemon/dnd mashup for Tom's art attack. Gotta kill 'em all!

Important -

This week (aka today) DnD will be on as normal, but next week (Tuesday 23rd) I'm off up norf to stay in a cottage with my girlfriend's family which should be a laugh.

We'll be back 30th August.

See you tonight!

Session 101 - The First Five Lives of Rat LeBlanc

Campaign Date:

Saturday, 21 January, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Tomas' Wizard, a wizard who was fittingly once a librarian.

Enemies Defeated:
- Gold-skinned man, kicked into acid (250 exp)
- 3 gold baby men, killed (75 exp)
- Harpy witch lady, headshot (100 exp)

- 2 orange oil blobs (50 exp)

Total: 475 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Virgin Sword

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- 4 more dungeon areas explored (80 exp)
- 1 group of wandering monsters encountered (50 exp)

Total: 130 exp

New Backstory:- Jain, incredibly, was the one who masterminded the deaths of all her brothers. What a twist! She ensured that they suffered. (Once per session, someone you torture must answer a question truthfully)
- Jumurak was a Man of the Rooves, part of the resistance against a tyrannical governor. His bungee-based governor kidnapping plan saved the town. (Once per session, find a defector in the room)
- Zan went around preaching after the flagellant dance party until everything went to shit and the cops showed up. (Once per session, cause everything to go to shit in an unexpected way)
- Elleyn's mother sent Elleyn on her first assassination mission, leading to her life as a gypsy assassin. (+1 Sneak Attack)
- Sophia married for love... and her love is Powerman! They are wed in the mushroom house, presided over by Zan, and with Jumurak and Jain as best man and maid of honour. Even in the immense stone fallopian tube of an enormous stone woman, love can blossom. (+1 Wisdom)

Events:
- Powerman and Powerlady get married in the mushroom house following their whirlwind romance. Tragic opposing polarity mishap post-"you may kiss the bride" results in superficial damage to makeshift church. (50 exp)
- With the newlyweds in tow, the group head down to the acid lake for a second time. Rat LeBlanc and Elleyn cross quietly via the ceiling and ropes. (50 exp)
- On the other side, some guy groaning and clutching at his chest. Elleyn points a gun at his head... a golden-skinned copy tears its way out of his skin! (50 exp)

- Elleyn acts quickly, rolling with it and kicking it off into the acid where it boils away. Clutch. (50 exp)

- Some nearby gold babies look over in consternation, and suddenly everything goes to shit. The harpy lady shows up holding up a ball of light along with a bunch more gold babies, and the rest of the group on the other side of the lake quickly try to get across! (50 exp)

- Rat LeBlanc CHARGES INTO BATTLE! His rat swarm eat the fuck out of a bunch of babies, so he follows up with his nail bat! And fumbles. And crits himself. And nearly dies. Shit's looking dire. (50 exp)
- Oh but wait! Elleyn blows a hole in the harpy's head from a distance and drops her instantly. The gold baby men follow soon after as the others arrive. (50 exp)
- Elleyn nabs the harpy witch's sword, which whispers into her head about bathing it in the blood of virgins. (50 exp)

- A very realistic statue of the harpy lady is investigated and - oh no! - releases a cloud of poison needles when disturbed! Most are too far away and Elleyn is too swift to be hit, but Rat LeBlanc is riddled with countless needles and is slain. (50 exp)- Rat LeBlanc is reborn covered in suppurating green lesions, forcing his way out of the rose-smelling flesh sac and into a room that smells of rotting flesh. He rejoins the group. (50 exp)
- Ignoring the stairs down for now, the group heads round the corner to see where the witch came from. Ahead, a pool of the pus-filled water. (50 exp)
- Guido turns out to be immune to the pus, being dead and all. He carries the group across a few at a time. (50 exp)
- Further in is a room filled with warm oil. Inspection reveals some orange blobs on the ceiling. The blobs are killed, but the ensuing explosion barbeques Rat LeBlanc. Ouch. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc struggles out and dies in agony as a swarm of rats explode from his stomach. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc barely has time to notice his snout's new length before he ruptures partway out of the sac, spewing a swarm of rats from his intestines. (50 exp)
- Awakening in pain in the flesh sac, LeBlanc struggles a slightly longer way out and collapses as rats burst from his stomach... but he survives. He is now 2 foot shorter. (50 exp)

- The rest of the group meet up with him and help him limp to the mushroom house. His nightmare is over. For now. (50 exp)Total: 800 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Elleyn - 100 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Horrifying Realisation bonus (Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp)
- Inspiring Speech bonus (Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Jumurak, Jain, Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (500 exp - Rat LeBlanc)
- Death's Witness bonus (All, including Rat LeBlanc who witnessed his own - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 650 exp + extensive bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Rat LeBlanc, poison
- Rat LeBlanc, explosion
- Rat LeBlanc, died in childbirth
- Rat LeBlanc, died in childbirth

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 33809 (Level up at 36000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 22155 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 12494 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +saves!
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 10336 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman: 8144 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Maximum rats - 16!
Tomas / Tomas' Wizard, Level 1 Magic User: 394 (Level up at 2250)

Absent or Retired:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 9085 (Level up at 17600)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Retrospective 10 - One Hundred!

A hundred sessions, man! That's a lot.

The game's steady now, and the players are even setting their own goals in the game world.
Things are great!


We have the arrival of Andy, who dies almost immediately after playing a trapped pipe organ. Ooops.
He goes on to create Cranky Jim, a Dwarf who has survived to the present day (Feb 2017). The other reason he's a wonderful addition to the group is that he's got a flat in central London and lets us come over and use it if our usual pub is unavailable!

Also important - Guido, the beloved skeleton-head mascot of the party, finally gets a body!
Sophia animates a hulking humanoid they found in a dungeon, and Guido's head is put on top. He subjugates the body, and voila! Guido the Skeleton is here!
He has to verbally speak his commands to the skeleton to make it do stuff, which is adorable. I truly hope nothing bad ever happens to him.


After escaping one stuck-in-a-dungeon dungeon, the party head straight into another. Slaughtergrid will be their home for real-world months to come, and result in them emerging at much higher levels than they were at previously.
Tom as Eleyn dies over and over as has become one of his trademarks, but Slaughtergrid's chief gimmick - rebirth on death with a mutation - leads to her becoming more and more corrupted and horrific over time.


Ruleswise we have a couple of well-received new subsystems! Religion and Retroactive Backstory.
Termaxianism, the intentionally nutty analog of the real-history Muggletonians, has taken on a life of its own under the aegis of Charles' Cleric. Termaxians are a drugged up rave cult now, which is amusing because I don't think Charles has ever been to a rave.
Retroactive Backstory is just the best thing. Insert own-horn-blowing here.
There's one downside - if you level up your new character via carousing/funeral/etc before they've had a chance to "live", you've got nothing to base their personality on. But then, that's why submitting a character backstory before you've started playing the character has always been a waste of time.

Mini Reviews

The Grinding Gear
It's pretty good, and fun because it's set up as something explicitly made by a guy who hated adventurers in order to kill adventurers. It's a funhouse of dick-move traps but the players knew what they were getting into.

Killed quite a few people, which is good!

They got trapped in the dungeon due to the thing that intentionally traps people in the dungeon, and it got a bit boring down there so I ended up giving them a hint ("there's a strange breeze in this room") so they could find the first secret door and escape.
I did like the unreliable map thing, I'll have to do that more often. Not only did it mean they went through the dungeon like "oh is this the map yet?", it also meant they were thrown when they found the thing the map lined up with but discovered it was inaccurate.

Slaughtergrid
The players were here fucking forever.
But it was quite a fun forever!
I reskinned the monsters to be less standard fantasy profusion-of-species-ish. So instead of orcs and gnolls and goblins and stuff, they're all the bud-children of various Hobgoblins mutated through many deaths in the dungeon.
Other than that, I basically ran it as-is! Having the rebirth-on-death thing meant I could be really unfair with traps and monsters and stuff without feeling bad about it.

The players worked out it was an inverted body fairly early, so it was cool to see them trying to match up the different areas to actual organs.

Recommended!

Session 100 - Rats on Acid

Session number ONE HUNDRED.
TRIPLE FIGURES BABY.

Lots going on this session, with Guido finally getting a body he can control for the first time since he was created six months ago in Session 78.
Also, Lulu being the first recipient of COMES THE GODHEAD which was as frighteningly overpowered as I'd hoped.
Also, most importantly, an absolute PILE of gold, leading to the level-ups of half the party and the close-to-level-ups for the rest.
No sign of descent into the next section yet... but at least a shortcut has been found?

Seeeee you folks next time! That is, tonight. Bye!

Session 100 - Rats on Acid

Campaign Date:

Tuesday, 16 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Sagittarius

Enemies Defeated:
- Chuck E Squeak and several other rats, lost in the line of duty (0 exp)
- A large orange blob, iced (100 exp)
- 4 large violet goops, torn apart and lasered (1000 exp)
- 4 mushroom men, 1 defected and 3 minced (200 exp)

Total: 310 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Tuning fork punching device with "Skull Switcher" scratched into the forearm
- A snake-shaped staff called "Yig".
- 392 gold, 2557 silver, 562 copper (22214 exp)

Total: 22214 exp

Exploration:
- 2 more dungeon areas explored (40 exp)
- 1 group of wandering monsters encountered (50 exp)

Total: 90 exp

New Backstory:- Lulu was ambushed by a tribute-withholding chieftain when she was just 14, biding her time until she could kill them all. (Once per session, avoid the most dire consequences of something going horribly wrong)
- Sophia's church had a cruel new vicar. Her plan to kill him with a falling bell was what killed her family. (Once per session, find a defector in the room)
- Cranky Jim tried to escape the mines and had to be brought back by force, leading to his obeying of the tyrant. (+1 Strength)
- Rat LeBlanc gave advice to actors on how to do a rat voice, they disregarded his advice and were killed on the orders of the offended rat queen. (Gain a reroll against the consequences of somebody disregarding your advice)
- Jumurak was part of a group of thieves who cased houses while shingling them. Injured on a job, he told the others to go on without him then doubled back to loot a room they'd missed. (While fleeing, can give flee die to someone else)
- Jain Doe's forge broke catastrophically, a piece of it whirred off into the nearby village and set things on fire and spooked cattle. The people, fearing for their lives, fled into a nearby mine and were killed in an ensuing mine explosion. Now with no work, and reminded of her brothers by the mine, Jain set off for adventure. (Once per session, avoid the most dire consequences of something going horribly wrong)
- Zan used to go to the biannual flagellant christian rock concert and it was off the spiked chaaaaaaain. (Double beneficial music effects, counter negative music effects)

Events:
- After waking up in the dirty cave corner, the gang concoct a plan to make Guido  a real boy! Sophia moves the skeleton's arms in the proper magical movements while Guido chants the chant of Subjugate Dead... and he takes control of the body! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- In the room where the slimes were fought previously, a body is found and searched. The only item of value is a forearm-mounted tuning fork looking device with "Skull Switcher" scratched on the arm. (50 exp)
- Since Rat LeBlanc is back after investing some money in breakout theatrical production F.I.E.N.D.S, Lulu puts it on and punches one of his rats, impaling the rat on the device and discovering that their minds are now switched! (50 exp)
- Lulu-Rat jumps and attempts to impale itself on the other side of the device while Rat-Lulu freaks out, swapping their minds back. (50 exp)
- The next room opens out into a large cavern with eye-stinging fumes coming from the water covering the floor. Light glints off the pile of GOLD on a little island in the middle of the lake. (50 exp)
- The lake is acid! Oh no! Rat LeBlanc gives a rat to Lulu who pegs it across onto the island where it begins inspecting things. (50exp)
- A big orange blob of some goop or other is also on the island. Jain begins firing off explosive beams to knock some stalactites into the lake as jumping platforms, one hits the ooze and it flees into the gold pile. (50 exp)
- Lulu flicks her rope onto a stalactite and swings across, luckily she's wearing Jain's gas mask (patent pending) when the orange ooze exudes a sickly looking orange gas. (50 exp)
- Suddenly, more goop! This time purple ones! They ooze in along the walls and suddenly half the party is mind fucked... especially Power Man and Lulu's incredibly powerful dog. (50 exp)
- Seriously that dog is BANANAS. Jumurak nearly has his face eaten off by crit after crit. Shit's nuts. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc keeps chucking rats at Lulu over on the island, who quickly has had enough of that and swings back over. (50 exp)
- Jain jumps in amongst the slimes and does an Iron Man fire laser spin attack while Guido reaches over and tears them to bits. (50 exp)
- With the slimes gone, Lulu runs over to calm her rabid dog and others hold Power Man down until he regains his senses. (50 exp)
- Seeing the slime over on the island, a beam of heat is used on the gold to make it uncomfortably hot and expel the slime, then ice beams are used to freeze it to death. Textbook! (50 exp)
- An attempt to use a rope bridge and rats to transport coins one by one fails when the acidic fumes get to the rats. Alas. (50 exp)
- It's up to Jain the Runemistress to use a combination of Santa's sack and Take Mass runes to get the sweet delicious gold from the island. Success! (50 exp)
- Also on the island, a snake-shaped staff called Yig. Sophia claims it because shit's thematic. (50 exp)
- Nearby stairs are checked and, yes, they lead upwards to the mushroom man room somewhere near the stone cervix. (50 exp)
- Sophia's past comes in handy when she spots a defector amongst the mushroom men. He scuttles off instead of facing the group. (50 exp)
- Zan imbues Lulu with some of the power of Maximum Godhead Hyper-Jesus and she gets MASSIVE POWER, surging up the spiral stairs and TEARING the mushroom men apart with her BARE HANDS. She immediately converts to Termaxianism. (50 exp)
- A little more exploration reveals a room full of strange coral and, further in, the chamber of rebirth! (50 exp)
- The festering and putrid corpse of "that guy we put in the santa sack, you know? Him? Uhhhh" is poured out onto the ovum/testicle/fleshlump in the hopes it would revive him. No dice. (50 exp)
- A shit funeral is given for the unknown hero which really shows how much they miss him. Crocodile tears are shed. (50 exp)
- Finally the crew return to the mushroom house to rest up, finding it much the same as when they left it. Home sweet home. (50 exp)Total: 1200 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)- Badass Backstory bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer bonus (Jain Doe, Zan - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
Total: 400 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None... but that dog tried fucking hard let me tell you.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 35520 (Level up at 70400)*DING!* +1d10 HP!
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 33115 (Level up at 36000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 21561 (Level up at 28000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 9842 (Level up at 18000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell!
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 9085 (Level up at 17600)
*DING!* +1d10 HP! -2 to Saves!James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 3 Ratman: 6850 (Level up at 8000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! Maximum rats - 9.
Absent or Retired:
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 11900 (Level up at 12000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 99 - Arise, Guido!

So the new retroactive backstory gimmick actually worked out really well! Pleased with that one. I'm still building up the actual in-game effects of the various things (slowly but surely) but just working out a new ability from the events of the story was pretty rad as it was.

You're past the goblin fortifications so I guess we'll see how things go next session. Should be good!

Our Art Attack this week comes from Charles who has depicted the TRIUMPANT BODY-CREATING OF GUIDO! Hurrah!

See you lot tonight!

Session 99 - Arise, Guido!

Campaign Date:

Sunday, 14 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Sagittarius

Enemies Defeated:
- A grey goblin, murdered (10 exp)
- An insane dwarf and two insane men in cages, "euthanised" (0 exp)
- Three purplish goops, chiefly lasered. (300 exp)

Total: 310 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A suit of damaged chainmail
- A longsword
- A shield with a mirrored inside which shows some person's face.
- Some more flatworm eggs

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- 5 more dungeon areas explored (100 exp)
- 2 wandering monsters encountered (100 exp)

Total: 200 exp

New Backstory:- Zan once got revenge on one who mocked him for his flagelant ways by pushing a gargoyle on him from the top of his church. (+1 Int)
- Sophia still blames herself for the death of her younger brother (and in fact her whole family) after her dodgy bellringer ropework resulted in the church bell falling and killing them. (+1 Tinkering, perfect ropework)
- Cranky Jim obeyed a tyrant in the mines for personal gain, eventually emerging from the mines as a result. (Douchebags will generally trust you)
- Jumurak recklessly proved his bravery to the other thatchers by climbing the cathedral in his town and reaching a high-up gargoyle. (+1 Str)
- Lulu Spiderbite stole her father's prized sword when she was but a child. Her seconds-older twin sister ratted her out, but her father found her in the forest having slain a bear. Since then he has always favoured her over her sister. (+1 to hit when alone)

Events:
- Lulu returns! We discover that she is to be wed to Lord Krog in three months! April is a good time for weddings in the Frozen North. (50 exp)- POWERMAN meets Sophia who also has an electric body and is immediately besotted, naming her POWERLADY and pledging himself to her service. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, the fates of those who were under attack from the harpy witch are discovered as they wake up in cages on the lower level. (50 exp)
- Zan draws a decay rune and begins decaying the metal of the top of the cage. Jim feigns unconsciousness. One of the grey goblins sees this and runs off to get help. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, the uncaptured group get downstairs, shank the remaining guard, and head into the jail area that Jumurak had conveniently discovered the last time. (50 exp)
- Noticing the remains of a large creature beneath a central grate, the crew bring it out, line up its bones, and replace its skull with Guido's (50 exp)
- The insane inmates are killed for blood and bone, a pentagram is drawn, and Sophia finishes off the last guy with a savage electric kiss and breaths in his Last Breath... (50 exp)
- The spell is cast! The huge body clambers to its feet! While Sophia still has control of the body, Guido is stoked to not be crammed down into someone's backpack. (50 exp)
- The cages are broken open and the squad rejoin. Hurrah! They head off, huge skeleton in tow. (50 exp)
- Meeting a bunch of easily intimidated grey goblins, one of them offers to let the group through goblin territory in exchange for not murdering them all. Offer accepted! (50 exp)
- They are let past the barricade and the goblin goes back to his fellows. Success! (50 exp)
- Some big ovipositor-tongue goblinoids are found looting some bodies near a mysterious beam of light. Things put into the light glow brightly. (50 exp)
- The big guys seem fairly chill though and are befriended, allowing the party on through. (50 exp)
- In the next room there's a ton of rubble, but when searched a few halfling bodies are found. They had a few things on them, including a clearly magical shield. Score! (50 exp)
- Suddenly, slimes! The purple kind that mindfuck you! They are dispatched fairly swiftly, but it's nearly the end of the evening so the group backtrack to the big ovipositor guys and see if they can crash at their place. (50 exp)

- But what's this?! Anything touched by the odd light beam CRUMBLES after a while! The candy cane daggers used to test it are ok (phew!) but Guido's spine collapses in the middle where he walked through the beam, to his loud dismay! (50 exp)
- The big goblin guys seem pretty cool and let the group stay in their dirty cave corner. The group are relatively safe... for now... (50 exp)Total: 850 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Zan - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Cranky Jim - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory Bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 950 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!?!?!!? I'm losing my touch!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 37870 (Level up at 64000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 29355 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 17901 (Level up at 28000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 3 Necromancer: 6282 (Level up at 9000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 3 Dwarf: 5525 (Level up at 8800)

Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 31860 (Level up at 35200)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 11900 (Level up at 12000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 2 Ratman: 3290 (Level up at 4000)Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human