Session 106 - Get Witch or Die Tryin'

Witch battle! Spells everywhere! People falling into pus! What a world.
Cliffhanger ending leaves the party in a precarious position, what with several people falling into the pus-and-goblin soup that is the pus water these days.

See you all next time!


Session 106 - Get Witch or Die Tryin'

Campaign Date:

Sunday, 14 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Capricorn

Enemies Defeated:

- 13 grey-skinned goblins, tumbled from scaffolding by various means (325 exp)

- A purple blob, easily despatched on the fly (100 exp)
Total: 425 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- None!

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Discovered the ceiling scaffolding in the witch cave (50 exp)

Total: 50 exp
New Backstory:- Cranky Jim did some regrettable things in order to leave the mines, but if he could go back, he'd do it all again. (Re-take an action and reroll any associated rolls once per session)
- Sophia tried to resurrect her family, egged on by her Necromancer mentor. It went horribly wrong and they fled. (+1 Dex)
- Stabbington charmed his way into dodgy deals, his fine clothing drawing the eyes of all who saw him. (+1 to reaction rolls when you're wearing clean, stylish clothing)
- Jain Doe suspects her brothers caused the forge explosion to ruin her business and life. In fact, they've been behind every bad thing that happened to her. Every one! She was set up! (half damage from traps set off by others)
- Zan, baking under the hot sun as punishment for his religious crimes, got sick of it, untied himself, and just walked off to a life of adventure. (If you take a cowardly option that likely harms others, gain +1 to your next roll)

Events:
- Something I forgot last time - the virgin sword got stabbed into the diseased ovum and sucked all its life force out. The virgin sword is super full and has a hard lump of fleshy remains stuck around the middle. (50 exp)
- The gang peer down the hole from the ovum room. Eleyn crawls down like a horrible spider, of course, and finds an oily smelling room with slimes rippling on the ceiling (50 exp)
- She notes their locations so that nobody walks under them, then Zan ropes down considerably less stealthily. (50 exp)
- Orange light glows from the slimes and fireballs drop from above! It's the orange blob oil room! Fuck! (50 exp)
- Zan runs, oil and fire everywhere, soon running out to a large cavern where he stops drops and rolls. (50 exp)
- Seeing the fireball surging up the shaft and the rope burnt to a crisp, those at the top debate what to do. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim, Jumurak, Sophia, POWERMAN! and Guido split off into a B-Team and head down to the witch cavern from the other direction. (50 exp)
- Eleyn, knowing she's soul-anchored upstairs, chucks her stuff into a pile under the hole and throws herself into the fire. The pain shuts off and she is, mercifully, in the fresh ovum. Ever more monstrous, she (it?) may now only feed upon carrion. (50 exp)

- The B-Team, making a lot of noise in their rush to get to the witch cavern, run into a violet blob of some description. It's killed shockingly easily. (50 exp)
- Some ovipositior-mouthed hulk goblins wander over to Zan to see if he's ok. They seem nice. Zan is scorched, but fine. (50 exp)
- The A-team draw some runes, courtesy of Jain, and a stream of water pours onto the fire from above. They climb down with a spare rope. (50 exp)
- The B-Team make it through the secret door and see Zan on the other shore. They wave. (50 exp)
- The A-Team join Zan in the main cavern, but not before a fire blob they missed on the ceiling fireballs them. Teehee. The groups stare at each other across the pus water. (50 exp)
- Eleyn and Rat LeBlanc climb the walls, hoping to get to a witch perch. They discover that there's a bunch of crude scaffolding up there in the dark... and a heap of goblins whispering and lying in wait. (50 exp)
- Too late for them though. A couple of explosion beams from below and an entire stalactite is blasted from the ceiling, bringing a ton of scaffolding down with it and sending goblins plunging into the pus water! (50 exp)
- The wallcrawlers scurry across the ceiling, seeing goblins throwing down ropes and trying to save their friends. The big goblins near Zan try to help too. It's a goblinitarian disaster zone. (50 exp)
- Guido strides into the pus water and... suddenly disappears below the surface. Disaster! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc sends some swarms scurrying up the wall and along the remaining scaffolding, devouring the goblins who are trying to save their friends. (50 exp)
- Jumurak uppercuts Sophia towards the ceiling on her side, she zooms up with Goblinfucker in her hands and bisects a goblin! She chucks a rope down for the others and Jim climbs up. (50 exp)
- All is going well... until a whole flock of harpy bitches turns up. "Say WHAAAAT" from everyone. "It's a mirror image for sure" says Rat LeBlanc. (50 exp)
- Crossbow bolts and ghost beams and and all sorts fly towards the harpy, but if they don't miss they hit a copy. (50 exp)
- The witches blast a stinking cloud of choking gas towards Sophia and Cranky Jim. Jim clings on for a while before falling, Sophia falls to but is... hurrah! Caught by Guido's hands thrusting up from the water! (50 exp)

- The witch(es) swoop from her/their perch and zooms across the room to snatch Zan as he reloads his crossbow. Screeching and laughing, she drops him into the pus water. (50 exp)
- It's chaos now. But time is up. Cliffhanger! (50 exp)

Total: 1200 exp

Misc:- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Kill it with Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Backstory - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- I Know This Place bonus (Cranky Jim - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- An Hero bonus (Eleyn - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Eleyn - 500 exp)

Total: 400 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, knew her death was near so threw herself into the flames.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60969 (Level up at 64000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 42533 (Level up at 72000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36581 (Level up at 70400)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 30589 (Level up at 56000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 22318 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 18660 (Level up at 36000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 18509 (Level up at 35200)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 16568 (Level up at 24000)

Absent or Retired:
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 105 - Birthday Busters

I'm literally sending this on the bus to the session so I think it's the latest ever.
See you all soon!

And thanks for the birthday everything! I had a blast!

See you soooooon

Session 105 - Birthday Busters

Campaign Date:

Wednesday, 10 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Capricorn

Enemies Defeated:

- 11 gold babies, slaughtered (275 exp)
- A gold eater, punched through a wall then ripped apart (250 exp)
- Bongo the Hobgoblin, intimidatingly befriended (100 exp)

Total: 625 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- A bunch of goldbaby vomit (250 exp)
- 4 brass rods inscribed with strange inscriptions
- A small putty-filled bag of gold bits (100 exp)
- Gold eater corpse (7500 exp)

Total: 7850 exp

Exploration:
- 3 more dungeon areas explored (60 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)

Total: 110 exp
New Backstory:- Eleyn once attempted to steal the ship of the nascent Witch-Pirate of Guernsey. She snuck on board but was saved by Nora, getting away just in time. (+1 Sleight of Hand)
- Rat LeBlanc was embarrassed in front of everyone when he was heckled during a performance of Ratmio and Shrewliet. He finished the scene regardless. (+1 Charisma)
- Jumurak fled his town on the hottest day of the year after the Men of the Rooves deposed the governor, pursued by the Law. He fled across the rooftops and escaped. (+1 Constitution)
- Zan was punished for his pranks by being mock-crucified under the burning sun with no food or water. (+1 Constitution)

Events:
- Charmington breaks through the collapsed tunnel and pale pink light shines through! The party looks through to see a new flesh sac inside! (50 exp)
- Also inside, a bunch of the gold baby men who come to investigate. Eleyn squicky-spider-crawls through before they get close and hides in a hole in the ground. (50 exp)
- From inside she can see that there's an old looking goblin dude tending to plants growing in piles of dirt and flesh. Also, the flesh sac has got a few arms half-buried inside, pierced by brass rods. (50 exp)
- The gold babies start coming through the gap. One sees Sophia and vomits gold glop on her. She staggers away. (50 exp)
- Eleyn bursts out of the hole and grabs the old man Hobgoblin, wrestling him into the hole as quietly as possible. (50 exp)
- The gold babies continue coming in, but the gold vomit has attracted a gold eater! Oh no! (50 exp)
- It bursts out of the wall and slashes at the gold-covered Sophia with jagged claws! She falls, unconscious and bleeding profusely! (50 exp)
- Jumurak turns and flash-punches the gold eater backwards! It slams through the wall and out the other side, wailing. (50 exp)
- Eleyn explores down the hole with the hobgoblin on her back. She gets down to an oily-smelly slippery layer before coming back up. (50 exp)
- Those not killing gold babies at the front put a bunch of gold on the ground and stand around it weapons drawn, hoping to ambush the gold eater. (50 exp)
- Eleyn begins firing her pistols at the gold babies from the hole, not particularly accurately. The combination of her attacks and the face-ripping power of Guido causes the gold babies to retreat though! (50 exp)
- The gold eater erupts from the ground in front of Guido, slurping up gold vomit! Guido just picks it up and breaks it over one bony knee due to a maximum d30 roll for damage. Holy shit. (50 exp)
- With the enemies dead or surrendering, the hobgoblin is questioned. His name is Bongo and he loves the Mistress. He's up here making goblins and guarding the ovum. (50 exp)
- The brass rods impaled in the ovum are inspected, and Sophia discovers they are inscribed with a spell called Soul Anchor which forces a soul to return here on death. (50 exp)
- Bongo begs them to leave his arm inside. They do, and he is extremely grateful. They take his little bag of gold bits though. (50 exp)
- The other brass rods are removed and the arms are surgically removed, then they are all stuck into the damaged ovum. Take that, witch creature! (50 exp)
- Suddenly a bunch of people turn up with my "cake" which is a bottle of whiskey and we all go to play with Andy's VR kit! (50 exp)Total: 850 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Backstoryers - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Sophia - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Jumurak, Cranky Jim, Rat LeBlanc, Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (500 exp - Cranky Jim)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (500 exp - Cranky Jim)
Total: 400 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, died suddenly and unexpectedly when her heart shot straight out of her chest after passing between some organ pillars.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 42066 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 30112 (Level up at 56000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 21251 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 18193 (Level up at 36000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 1 spell/day! +1 level 3 spell/day! +free spell!
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 17942 (Level up at 35200)+1d10 HP! +lorebond! James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 16201 (Level up at 24000)

Absent or Retired:
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 104 - Apoocalypse Now

A thrillingly scatological session to be sure, with an excellent aside of accidental attempted murder. Is it even murder if you kill a ratman or is that just animal cruelty?

Next session the Mad Hatter is, horrifically, booked out! Oh no!
Andy / Cranky Jim has nobly offered up his house as a venue, so it'll be at his place next week. I won't post the full address here because it's his actual home, but it's near Tottenham Court Road.
Send me an email if you want to come so I can let him know numbers!

In summary -
No Mad Hatter next week 13th September
Send me an email to RSVP for Andy's place

This week we have ART from Tom and also a not-art-but-totally-counts Facebook page for Tomb Busters also from Tom, to the continued chagrin of Stabbington Shanks.

Session 104 - Apoocalypse Now

Campaign Date:

Friday, 5 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Una, a Specialist who is a former (and current?) cultist, good at identifying potions and things as a result.

Enemies Defeated:

- A shapeshifting slime monster, befriended to within an inch of its life (75 exp)
- Two long-mouthed curse monsters, ripped to bits (100 exp)

Total: 175 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- 416 gold in ooze jar (20800 exp)
- Potion #223
- Potion #153
- Scroll #113
- A lens that shows secret doors when looked through.
- A vial of holy water
- A heart from a flesh pillar

Total: 20800 exp

Exploration:
- 7 more dungeon areas explored (140 exp)
- 1 secret door found (50 exp)
- First party to visit the (miniature) village of Amlen (200 exp)

Total: 390 exp
New Backstory:- Eleyn was washed away during a family trip to Guernsey, back in the good old days before the Witch Pirate sailed the channel. She was saved by her beloved sister Nora but has feared the open water ever since. (+2 to saves when nowhere near open water)

Events:
- The group are joined in the mushroom house by Una who's been wandering around in here for a while. They join the party. (50 exp)
- First things first, they head over to the rebirthing chamber and block the main way out and put some traps and stuff on the floor to prevent the uninitiated from leaving easily. (50 exp)
- Jumurak, noticing the symmetry of the first dungeon level, decides to check out the section of wall symmetrically opposite the entry to the rebirth room. Score! A secret door! (50 exp)
- Inside is what appears to be a previous group's equivalent of the mushroom house, now abandoned. Notable are a ten foot pole, a jar of fart putty-esque clear slime with gold coins in it, and some potions and scrolls under some cloaks. (50 exp)
- After a false start down the wrong stairs, the group crosses the acid lake and continues down to level 3. OoooOOOoOOooo. (50 exp)
- Eleyn sneaks ahead in the dark, moving between some fleshy pillars and... her heart jumps out of her chest! Literally! She dies, incredibly surprised, but not before Sophia manages to get her Last Breath in a vial. (50 exp)
- A rat is sent between the pillars and its heart goes flying a full 10 foot. It dies. (50 exp)
- Guido is sent through and... he's totally ok! Guido rips the shit out of the flesh pillars and they are disabled. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc decides to get some rat mapping done, sending a buncd ahead to scout things out. Turns out there's a lot for rats to love ahead. (50 exp)
- Eleyn turns up with bug eyes and night vision and the ability to evaluate gems on sight. Basically, the perfect assassin. But on the other hand she's a fucking horrorshow. (50 exp)
- The rat map is inspected, three exits go from the next room. The group enter and Rat LeBlanc goes to check out the room the rats really loved the look of. Turns out it's absolutely loaded with poo. Classic. (50 exp)
- LeBlanc travels up another passage, it turns and opens into a small room with a hole in the middle. Down the hole is a whole load of poo. (50 exp)
- He drops a rat down to investigate, and it reports that there's a lot of poo and a lot of people in the next room after that! (50 exp)
- It doesn't click for Rat LeBlanc and he becomes worried about all the people down there. Eventually he realises it's the rest of the group and goes "OOOoooooh!" as though it's a big twist even though everybody else figured it out immediately. (50 exp)
- Eleyn and Rat LeBlanc decide to dive into the poo and get into the room beyond it, since a rat reported there was someone in there with a robe with a mace. (50 exp)
- The others go beyond the poo hole room and see a large chamber whose floor is made up of a whole lot of goopy slushy dark gunk. (50 exp)
- The pair of poo divers burst out in a spray of stank. Both are horrible and monstrous due to all their mutations, and the girl in the robes with the mace is all WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK (50 exp)
- LeBlanc goes in for the kill for reasons unknown, the girl screams for help... then transforms into a blobby tentacle monster. Good thinking, ratman. (50 exp)
- Eleyn tries to help with her pistols, shooting Ratman in the back and dropping him immediately. Oops. (50 exp)
- Followup attack! Eleyn unsheathes the childbone dagger and the virgin blade! And chucks them at the unconscious ratman! He's fucked! (50 exp)
- Others arrive! Sophia ghost-blasts the creature through the barricade of shit that it was standing inside of and it escapes into the darkness, bleeding green goop. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc is quickly healed. Eleyn acts casual. Zan spots the vial of holy water that was on top of the poo barricade and pockets it. (50 exp)
- Pressing on, the now incredibly smelly party find themselves in a large cavern on a smooth walkway just above the bubbling brown liquid that covers the rest of the area. (50 exp)
- On a particularly high bulging island of walkway, there is a small model village in a glass dome! There are tiny living people inside, tilling tiny fields and going about their tiny lives, fearfully watching the sky. (50 exp)
- The group splits up a little, one group continues to mess with the village while the other go to find the hurt tentacle monster. The village group is attacked by some sort of weird stretchy-mouthed monster whose jaw dangles all the way down to its crotch! (50 exp)
- The others find a still body suspiciously similar to the monster's shapeshifted disguise. They poke it carefully into the brown liquid... where it just floats away. (50 exp)
- But there's an attack! The monster jumps out from where it was hiding underwater! Combat is joined! Una the newbie gets messed up and plops into the liquid! Another mouth monster emerges on the other side! Oh no! (50 exp)
- Zan on the village side tries to shoot the monster, misses, and is cursed with temporary blindness. Luckily Guido and Powerman are there to kill it. (50 exp)
- Guido and Sophia head round to the other group and leave Zan to blink away his blindess. Sophia hook-sticks Una from the mildly acidic liquid while Guido just tears the other mouth guy apart. (50 exp)
- With a knife at "her" throat and surrounded by enemies, the tentacle monster is befriended. She can mirror anyone apparently, and really doesn't seem to know much other than vague mentions of the "Progenitor" being her parent. (50 exp)
- The group head back through the poo room and all the way back up to the mushroom house to rest up. God it must really stink in there now. (50 exp)Total: 1550 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Cranky Jim, Rat LeBlanc, Jumurak - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (Eleyn - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (all others - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Rat LeBlanc)
Total: 550 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, died suddenly and unexpectedly when her heart shot straight out of her chest after passing between some organ pillars.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 40126 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 28272 (Level up at 56000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +1 level 3 spell/day!
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 19411 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 16453 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 15202 (Level up at 17600)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 14361 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Maximum rats - 25!Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +Super Secret Barbarian Level Up Table!
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points!
Absent or Retired:
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 103 - I'd Rather be an Abortion than Dead

Absolute tons of art today, courtesy of Tom who's forced me to add extra art categories to deal with the cavalcade.

The rebirth chamber sac is pretty fucked now, so good work there. See you lot tonight!

Ratman and Eleyn see monsters in the VERY WALLS!


What a handsome rat.


Sophia shoots ghosts down the stairwell!


Eleyn climbs to reclaim the fabled HOOK ON A STICK!

The party light up the mushroom and sit around swapping tales of way back before they got stuck in this horrible dungeon.

Guido's just pleased to be able to play an instrument now!


Session 103 - I'd Rather be an Abortion than Dead

Campaign Date:

Last Day, 30 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Full
Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:- Stonecold, a Muscle Wizard and fomer pig farmer. Has a piglet he hates.
- Grunt the Barbarian, wary of sexy monsters.

Enemies Defeated:

- Two gold eaters, slain dramatically (500 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- Golden witch heart (1000 exp)
- Two gold eater corpses (15000 exp)

Total: 16000 exp

Exploration:
- 1 more dungeon area explored (20 exp)

Total: 20 exp

New Backstory:- While spying on the governor from the roofs, Jumurak's accomplice broke his ankle. Jumurak had to kill them to save himself and escape. (If you take a cowardly option that likely harms others, get +1 to your next roll)
- Zan pulled off a magnificent prank on the morning after the flagellant concert-rave, he set up a device that made a massive noise rang out amongst the hungover crowd when the preacher opened the Bible. (+1 Tinkering)
- Eleyn used to take trace amounts of poison to build up her resistance to it... and got addicted. She was forced to quit cold turkey by her sister. (Drug effects are doubled)
- Rat LeBlanc was nearly caught in a mouse trap in his youth and realised life was too short to give up on his dreams, from then on he decided he would be an actor! (Take half damage from traps someone else set off)
- Shiz had dreams of being a political figure, but his dabblings in magic would be a massive PR blunder. Unfortunately he was outed as a wizard, and made a deal to leave town until everything blew over. In exchange he will be able to salvage his political career when he returns. (When you make a deal with an adversary, gain +1 to reaction rolls for the rest of the session)
- Stonecold's pig farmer friend, Triple H, was killed by the local landlord Shane McMahon. Stonecold curses his name to this day. (Deal double damage against creatures that killed a PC this session)
- Grunt saw a terrifying harpie hag creature at his window in his youth and hid. He avoided its lustful attentions intact. (Once per session, cause the most terrifying threat on the local encounter table to show up somehow)

Events:
- THE CLIFFHANGER RETURNS and we rejoin Rat LeBlanc and Eleyn beneath the earth where the gold monsters are swimming through the very walls! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc flees deeper while Eleyn bolts for the spiral stairs! Stairwell fighting gimmick begins. The others, above, hear the screams and come to assist. (50 exp)
- Zan jumps on the bannister rail and grinds down at rapid speed! He smashes the gold monster attacking Eleyn in the head on the way past. (50 exp)
- Sophia follows up with a GHOST BEAM, blasting one of the monsters down the stairs. (50 exp)
- Jumurak's amoebae slurp along the walls as they follow him down the stairs. They're much more effective than him, since they can actually hit things. (50 exp)
- The gold monster down the bottom is killed and hits the ground with a dull clang. Glee turns to worry as the group realise these things are made of gold... and attract more of their kind. (50 exp)
- An attempt is made to sort of wrap a corpse around the dead gold eater, to mixed success. It's disgusting either way. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile up the stairs, Eleyn has escaped into Guido's waiting arms and Jumurak's amoebae have finally overwhelmed the other gold monster. The amoeba wraps it up to stop the scent escaping. (50 exp)
- Lugging the corpses out of the staircase, the group are worried when they start hearing sounds from the walls and seeing occasional glimpses of gold bodies swimming through rock. (50 exp)
- Some goblins show up to check on the noise, have a quick chat, then go on their merry way. They're kind of over the whole getting murdered by the dozens thing by this point. (50 exp)
- After covering the gold bodies with the smelliest shit they can find (including actual shit), the group rests and recuperates in the mushroom house. Charmington's done a nice job fixing up the place. (50 exp)
- Eleyn smokes some mushroom, the narcotic sentispores enter her lungs and fungal fingers replace her birth-mangled stumps. Score! (50 exp)
- Fearing for the state of the flesh-testicle, the group enters the rebirth chamber and tries to cut the ratman corpse out of the now smelly and partially rotten sac. The wounds are cauterised with gunpowder and Zan blows a bunch of Cure Light Wounds on it but it looks pretty fucked. (50 exp)
- The question of whether to destroy the thing and thus prevent the rebirth of their enemies is considered, but rebirth is decided to be worth the downsides. (50 exp)
- Descending back down to the intestine level, Eleyn goes on ahead to scout things out in a fucking terrifying way crawling along the walls with her six arms like a horrible spider. Sneaky, though. (50 exp)
- She crawls through a greasy room that tests her climbing abilities, but no problem! She crawls onwards and turns a corner to find... the witch harpy bitch's room! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Sophia's long-lost hook-on-a-stick can be seen on a perch high up on the ceiling. Hurrah! Also in this room are a bunch of gold babies. (50 exp)
- Shiz gets bored of all the waiting around and decides to follow on, reaching the grease room and failing to notice the orange blob up on the ceiling that spits a glob of fire straight at him! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc, seeing this, goes into a sonnet and bangs on about feed'sting thou life's flame. It is surely appreciated. (50 exp)
- Shiz tries running back but his leg's been burnt clean off. Zan shouts that he hasn't got a leg to stand on. Constant rebirth has turned everyone into even bigger psychopaths than they already were. (50 exp)
- Eleyn witnesses more goblins being dropped in by the harpy lady, who go to investigate all the noise and screams and fire. Eleyn herself climbs up the walls and grabs the hook-on-a-stick. Score! (50 exp)
- The others go back up to the rebirth chamber to see what happened. Shiz crawls out of the festering skin sac, skin in tatters and moaning in pain. He now glows when someone casts Light near him, is hated by demons, and permanently has 4 less HP. (50 exp)
- Shock and disgust give way to animated conversation. Should the flesh sac be destroyed? It's clearly fucked. The immortal words "I'd rather be an abortion than dead" are uttered, and the sac is left to stew for now. (50 exp)
- Eleyn, meanwhile, is stuck behind enemy lines. She remembers the secret entrance though, and in the dark and dank finds her way out of the intestine area and back to a set of stairs that take her up to the genitals. The hook-stick is safe! Moral victory! (50 exp)
- The group regoup at the mushroom house and smoke some mushroom, swapping tales of the days before they entered this terrible place. (50 exp)

Total: 1200 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Hook-on-a-Stick Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Amputation bonus (Shiz Nittlebam - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom / Eleyn, Charles / Zan - 100 exp ea)
- Artapalooza bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Attacco D'Art bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (Shiz - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Kitty / Sophia - 100 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (All - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (Shiz - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Shiz and Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 850 exp + extensive bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Shiz Nittlebam, burnt to a crisp by a fireball-shooting ooze.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 36892 (Level up at 72000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +Saves! +1 free level 3 spell! +1 level 3 spell/day!
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 25238 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 15777 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 4 Necromancer: 13419 (Level up at 18000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 4 Dwarf: 12068 (Level up at 17600)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 4 Ratman: 11127 (Level up at 12000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +free level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day!
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +free level 1 spell! +1 level 1 spell/day!Anthony / Grunt, Level 2 Barbarian: 2264 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +Super Secret Barbarian Table!
Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36114 (Level up at 70400)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 41430 (Level up at 64000)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human