Session 115 - Ghosts and Goblins

Another episode of strange and ghostly excitement.
Still no vampire as yet...

But hey, on the plus side, Cranky Jim levelled up after teabagging someone to death! Score!
And the house has claimed another victim.... oOOOoOooooOooo



- Jade the Courtesan Elf, by Tom


- Rollo is dragged away to his doom! by Tom


​Sausage. by Andy


Tom - The florid description of your Elf species is as follows:Languid Wastrel: Lazy scabrous salesmen adept at making the unseemly seem wonderful. Lamp-carrying dealers granting likely stories and too-good-to-be-trues to the dispossessed and easily led. They deal in any place in any currency and give concessions for prices paid in souls and firstborns.



Session 115 - Ghosts and Goblins

Campaign Date:

Monday, 23 March, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:- Jade, a courtesan kicked out of the oldest profession when her latent Elfishness began to appear.

Enemies Defeated:

- 2 ghostly guards, chopped and ghost blasted (50 exp)
- 3 hungry hungry paralyzing ghosts, variously dismembered (50 exp)
- One of the ghostly guards again! (50 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- A sackful of tarnished silverware (600 exp)
- A beautiful tapestry depicting horrors (5000 exp)
Total: 5600 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 6 chateau areas (120 exp)
- 4 random encounters (200 exp)

Total: 320 exp
Events:
- The party, without the benefit of the ghosts to lead them, decides to seek out the master vampire bedroom themselves. (50 exp)
- Heading through an antechamber, they enter a music room containing (as ever) a harpsichord, along with a bunch of rotting furniture. (50 exp)
- They try to head out a door and... oh no! It's locked! They all are! One of the doors BURSTS OPEN and a couple of burly twins break through, grab Rollo, and kick the door shut behind them! (50 exp)
- Rollo hits the door on the way out and is knocked unconscious. Lulu and Cranky Jim begin attempting to break down the door to little effect. (50 exp)
- Sophia, investigating another door, is surprised when it opens and the twins grab her! Shit! They close the door behind her and begin beating her up. (50 exp)
- Rollo bleerily awakens to the sound of Sophia getting punched in the stomach. He jumps at them, successfully pulling them both to the floor! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim smashes through the wall between rooms, in time to see Rollo get smashed in the stomach. He's beyond help. Sophia ghost-blasts one of the ghosts while the other is finished off by people pouring through the hole in the wall. (50 exp)
- Rollo is dying, and Lulu decides to put him out of his misery by crushing his windpipe with the giant pie. So fitting ;_; (50 exp)
- "Tom rolls new character - Elf courtesan with -2 CHA, is crack whore. - Doesn't put all points in Bushcraft, opportunity missed" - James Gregory notes (50 exp)
- An old lady enters the room, offering horrible traditional french sweeties. Those that can stomach them feel great, those that can't have crippling nausea. (50 exp)
- Gastron and Lulu have a brief argument over who the better Barbarian is. They arm wrestle, and Lulu wins easily. Guess that settles it! (50 exp)
- The next room, the Parlor, is entered. The furniture is ruined, but three paintings are remarkably untouched! (50 exp)
- Jade, the youngest (although not so young that her courtesan career is creepy) peers at the picture of a young boy, but saves. Gastron looks at the picture of the adolescent, and gains a point of CHA while losing one of WIS! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim, the eldest, looks at the picture of the middle-aged man. His hair goes white and he is filled with suicidal thoughts!... until Zan heals him with a Remove Curse. Damn. (50 exp)
- A grand staircase is found and ascended slowly. At the top, the windows look out on a sunset over southern France. Lulu decides to climb out the window, along the chateau, and drop into the great hall. (50 exp)
- She does so, smashes through the window, and lands... back in the normal chateau. Trouble is there are a bunch of cannibal corpses chowing down on Ludovico's corpse in there! (50 exp)
- Lulu goes into a RAGE for the first time! And the fiends jump on her with their paralyzing touch. Lulu is locked into her own body... but SO angry... (50 exp)
- A quick house rule later and she can break through paralysis for the round by taking 1d10 damage. She does so... and begins to accrue Pain dice for the first time. It only makes her angrier. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim SMASHES THROUGH THE WALL! He jumps through the hole from the second storey, spraying the baddies with fragments of wall and lands on the table, smashing it beneath his weight. (50 exp)
- Gastron follows, chucking spices into battle. Zan, forcing his holy symbol through the hole, commands the Dead to flee! They do so! (50 exp)
- Sophia, who'd just breathed in Rollo's Last Breath in preparation for a subjugation, hurriedly blows it back into the vial. (50 exp)
- Drapey Jim kisses the paralysed Lulu, as one might expect. Due to some backstory bonus bullshit, this heals her! (50 exp)
- Lulu eats some marmalade... and a prophecy kicks in. She communicates with her sister Lola IN HER MIND! And tells her to come south with a Barbarian army to fight the Dead in glorious battle! Totally happening. (50 exp)
- Before anyone can get any real rest, one of those twin guards comes in, holding a massive axe wound in his face! Jade fucks up a crossbow shot, but Cranky Jim jumps in from the table... (50 exp)
- ...and teabags the ghost to death. "Ghoul been done in by the goolies". Quite. (50 exp)
- The tarnished silverware is stuffed into a bag and the entrance to the great hall is blocked with a ring of garlic and salt. Sophia carves the other end of her hook-on-a-stick into a stake. The party attempt to get some rest... (50 exp)
Total: 1300 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Mouth bonus (50 exp)

- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Nutshot bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Jade - 100 exp)
- Recap Remembrancer bonus (Gastron - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Pretty much everyone - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but Rollo - 100 exp)
- Noble Sacrifice bonus (Jade - 1000 exp)

Total: 1000 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None in here...

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Rollo, put out of his misery with a giant pie after taking fatal wounds.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 78260 (Level up at 128000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 53897 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 41078 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 14436 (Level up at 16000)

-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 6 Dwarf: 35221 (Level up at 70400)
*DING!* +1d10 HP! +Lorebond!James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 3 Barbarian: 5592 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Level Up table!Tom / Rollo, Level 1 Goblin: 1853 (Level up at 2000)
*DECEASED*
Tom / Jade, Level 1 Elf (Languid Wastrel): 2511 (Level up at 3000)
Absent or Retired:
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 8967 (Level up at 12000)
Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
Fraser / Gehn, Level 1 Specialist (Thief-Doctor): 1253 (Level up at 1500)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)
Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 114 - Chair Today, Gone Tomorrow

The art attack arms race CONTINUES this week, as always.
We need to put these in a collection or something!

Ghosts and goblins, mid-mansion makeout missions, and furniture with a taste for BLOOD! This is going super well.

A note:

The next three weeks are going to, once again, take place at ANDY's place. Email if you need the address and all that.

Another note:
The next two weeks (22nd and 29th Nov) will be the LAST D&Ds OF THE YEAR! Unless we find another venue, of course.
Basically I'm going to a gig on 6th December so someone else is going to run something. Huzzah!

See you tomorrow!

- Tom


- Tom



- Charles

- Charles

"Oi diary, 

Nicked this off a dead git in a big 'ouse. 'Is 'ead woz propa smashed. Turnz out it was the chairz wot did it. 

I might just be a sneaky little gobbo but I'm gonna record me thougtz anyway coz I'm a thinky little gobbo too. 

Scheemin' of the day: bake yerself inta a big pie and jump out and stab a vampire git / French geeza."
- Excerpt from Rollo's diary

Session 114 - Chair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Campaign Date:

Saturday, 22 March, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:- Rollo, a Goblin shingler, and one of Jumurak's old gang - the Men of the Rooves
- Gehn, a Specialist in First Aid and Tinkering

Enemies Defeated:

- A chef ghost, subjugated (25 exp)
- A maid ghost, subjugated (25 exp)
- Five extraordinarily deadly items of furniture (250 exp)
Total: 300 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- Carved wooden hanging screens, stacked near the front door (1000 exp)
- Golden skeleton figurine (4000 exp)
- A couple of jars of marmalade
Total: 5000 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 5 chateau areas (100 exp)
- 3 random encounters (150 exp)
- 1 allegedly secret door found (50 exp)

Total: 300 exp
Events:
- Having retreated back to the forge building at the end of the last session, the party decide to enter the chateau once more. (50 exp)
- Entering through the front door, the door SLAMS closed behind them! Oh no! (50 exp)
- Inspecting the hanging screens covering part of the corridor, Ludovico decides to start taking them down and stacking them near the door, then go and do the same with the furniture (50 exp)
- The others continue through the door behind the sliding screens, finding themselves in a pantry. A laughing, ghostly boy runs through the room. (50 exp)
- Looking around, the pantry's mostly empty. Some mystery meat has dried onto some pans though. (50 exp)
- They continue, entering a rather nice ground floor bedroom. A man looks up from his writing desk, inquiring as to why the party is invading his privacy. (50 exp)
- A wilhelm scream is heard! The party run out to the main room, where they see Ludovico surrounded by furniture! It's eating him! (50 exp)
- Before they can do anything to help, Ludovico's head is smashed to fucking pieces. His ghost briefly wavers before disappearing. (50 exp)
- Figuring there's nothing more they can do, the party head back the way they went before. The guy at the desk is once more slightly perturbed, but does point them in the direction of the kitchen. (50 exp)
- Rollo the Goblin shows up, presumably following Jumurak's trail since they were both shinglers. (50 exp)
- The party enter the kitchen! There is a ghostly chef there, the same guy who nearly murdered the late Ludovico last session, and a maid nagging him from a chair near the window. (50 exp)
- Gastron is stoked because he's found the marmalade, but he also tries to help out the chef and pisses him off mightily. (50 exp)
- He attacks! And thus begins one of the most ridiculous fight scenes this game has ever seen (50 exp)
- Gastron continuously disarms the ghostly chef until Cranky Jiim uses his Fancy Beard to seduce him. They kiss. (50 exp)
- Gastron, now freed up, goes over to the ghost girl and they start making out too while Rollo the Goblin gets in on the action by humping people's legs. (50 exp)
- Sophia knocks back a Last Breath and immediately subjugates both of the ghosts while they're distracted. Friends now! (50 exp)
- With the whole kitchen at their disposal, a plan is concocted to face the vampire lord who totally runs this place and hopefully infect someone with vampirism. (50 exp)
- The plan involves an enormous pie that Rollo the Goblin can hide in along with a human meat fondue. (50 exp)
- While the cooking's going on, Gastron decides to look around in that ghost guy's room. Golden skeleton statue! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- There's also a big accounting ledger, so he scribbles "this mansion belongs to Gastron Bistro" into it in the hopes that graffiti is sufficient grounds for a transfer of ownership (50 exp)
- The cooking is finished! Rollo is encased in fresh shortcrust (with legs sticking out for locomotion, narturally) and the group follow their new friend the maid towards the master of the mansion's bedroom where he presumably resides. (50 exp)
- It's through the armory hall where the monster chairs and armoires killed Ludovico... of course. (50 exp)
- All seems well until the FURNITURE INEVITABLY ATTACKS! The ghosts don't seem to notice and just keep walking... (50 exp)
- Chairs and armoires jump to life, gnashing teeth between cushion and frame and armoire linings that look like human insides! (50 exp)
- The fighting is fierce, notable is Rollo's finger getting bitten off in his (successful!) attempts to save the all-important pie crust. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim is a very effective chair fighter, killing one by sitting on it then chucking it at another chair. (50 exp)
- Gastron gets the best quip of the night when he throws a chair into the ceiling and says "you've been upholstered".
- When all the valuable furniture is destroyed, Gehn runs to Rollo's side to save him! And slips in blood! And crushes his arm! It's basically mangled celery! (50 exp)
- But though Rollo begs for death, he's brought back from the brink. For now. (50 exp)
- Without the ghosts to lead them, the party grabs the miraculously unharmed fondue and pie, and continues into the haunted mansion... (50 exp)

Total: 1450 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Medical Malpractice bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Smooching bonus (50 exp)
- Treasure Destroyer bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Zan, Rollo - 100 exp ea.)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Rollo - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Gehn - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Rollo - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Gehn, Gorund, Cranky Jim, Gastron - 100 exp ea.)
- Amusing Death bonus (Ludovico - 500 exp to Rollo)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Rollo - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (all non-Ludovico - 100 exp ea.)

Total: 1050 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None as yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Ludovico, killed by chairs
- Rollo, arm mangled by furniture and poor doctoring

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 52386 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 39567 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 13580 (Level up at 16000)

-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 32710 (Level up at 35200)
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 8967 (Level up at 12000)Tom / Ludovico, Level 2 Magic User: 3128 (Level up at 4500)
*DECEASED*
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 2 Barbarian: 3981 (Level up at 4000)Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 3586 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +Elfiness!Tom / Rollo, Level 1 Goblin: 1853 (Level up at 2000)
Fraser / Gehn, Level 1 Specialist (Thief-Doctor): 1253 (Level up at 1500)
Absent or Retired:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 76649 (Level up at 128000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)
Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 113 - Well Done

Alternate title of this recap was "Friendly Fire". Harr harr. But there's a whole THREE meanings to this week's title, maybe more!

Spooky shit. Near deaths. Fun for all!

I think the fire-down-the-well moment is one of my favourite moments in D&D to date.

This recap's late again, so see you tonight!



- Lulu, by Ollie

Placard below the version that hangs in the museum
"Lulu and the Death of Unknown Companion c. 1553

Pontormo 1494 - 1555

This picture depicts the yet to be crowned Empress Lulu Gorga holding a dying adventurer in her arms surrounded by her Companions. The identity of the young man is unknown, but is widely believed to Ludovico de Firenze who was part of the group who destroyed the Necromancer King of Death Frost Mountain in around 1550. What is remarkable about of this piece is that it is the first painting commissioned by a Gorgarian monarch. Up to this point, Gorgarian leaders had typically only erected vast statues and monuments to commemorate their military success. More generally, captured artisans, consider far inferior to warrior elites, were often blinded and crippled before being used for archery practice by princelings. In fact Pontormo himself was captured in a Gorgan raid on Venice in 1499 and was only spared a similar fate because his new master, Lord Krog, a vassal king of Lord Gorga Lord of All, was betrothed to Lulu Spiderbite, the Great Gorga''s favourite child, and realised Lulu's interest in the barbarian states of the south might win him favour with his bride to be. Pontormo was presented as a wedding present, and following the Gorgan invasion of England in 1553 he was commissioned to decorate the throne room of the vast palace which was built on the remains of the city of Fate (modern day New Gorga). In the background, being crucified is the Hyper Jesus, however modern academics believe it is in fact Titian, a cotempenary of Pontormo, who was crucified on Sailsbury plane, the year before work on the New Gorga palace was begun. Such acts were the only way slave artisans such as Pontormo could rebel against their overlords without being tortured to death."
- from Ollie

Session 113 - Well Done

Campaign Date:

Saturday, 21 March, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Pisces

Enemies Defeated:

- Ten living flame people, doused variously (1000 exp)
Total: 1000 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- Not much?
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the Chateau itself (100 exp)
- Explored 6 areas (120 exp)
- 3 random encounters (150 exp)

Total: 370 exp
New Backstory:- Ludovico was exiled from his town for being a crap doctor and turned to begging. One day a man in strange robes gave him a strange book and it BLEW HIS FUCKING MIND. (+1 Charisma)
- Gastron has a terrifying secret... in his mission to taste every kind of meat in the world, he has tasted the sweet flesh of a child. (Once per session, force a morale check by telling people a new horrifying anecdote that actually happened to you)
Events:
- All is well following the trapping of the fire people last week. Zan uses a water glyph and pours water into the furnaces, quenching them. (50 exp)
- Outside, Gastron has realised that the fire person in his bottle has stopped shaking. It must be dying! He uncorks the bottle a liiiiiittle bit... and the creature jumps out! (50 ep)
- It is VERY angry and also burns your stuff when it hits you, creating more of itself. A chef hat, a bunch of receipts, and a bag of peat will go up in flames during the fight. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party jog over as things go to shit. Gastron evades the monsters and jumps down a well to avoid the flame. (50 exp)
- Dante the elf gets smashed into the ground by one of the roaring flame people, but Sophia ghost-blasts it off him. (50 exp)
- Guido strides in to do battle with the flame, but it is too difficult for a skeleton to smash a fire with mere fists. (50 exp)
- Gorund plays his annoying kazoo as he skips away from the battle, drawing many of the flame guys after him! (50 exp)
- Zan runs in with a Make Water glyph drawn on his hands. It's scary and chases one of the fire people away! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim runs in, still wearing forge clothing, with a SUPER EFFECTIVE gambit! He swings a cloth over one of the flame dudes, picks the whole thing up with tongs, and chucks it down the well! (50 exp)
- It surges down the well, burning down the rope and bucket Jumurak and Ludovico have been trying to winch down to Gastron for a while, and... (50 exp)
- It rolls a 20. Gastron is fucked. Right in the face. Burns sweep over him and unconsciousness looms. (50 exp)
- Jim, who didn't realise their was somebody down the well, feels a little guilty. (50 exp)
- The tide turns against the fire people, assailed by multiple ghost beams and water glyph attacks. Soon they are all slain. (50 exp)
- The mission to rescue Gastron begins in earnest! Zan jumps down to heal him while a Gloating Disk is summoned beneath them both, and gloats as it raises him from the depths. (50 exp)
- A ghostly figure has appeared by the well, cranking a ghostly crank and muttering to himself. He speaks Occitan which is unfortunate, but Ludovico's Comprehend Languages combined with a massage breaches the language barrier. (50 exp)
- Some conversation later and he leaves, vanishing into thin air. (50 exp)
- Another ghost shimmers into existence while Gorund checks out the front door, which leans ajar. (50 exp)
- The ghost is walking around with a cleaver, asking if they have seen "zat basterrd oo screwed mah wahf". He's not speaking English of course, so Ludovico attempts to massage him into a better mood. (50 exp)
- IT DOESN'T WORK! Ludovico gets a cleaver to the shoulder, opening him up to the bone! Sophia and Zan, acting quickly and independently, begin casting spells. Unfortunately Sophia's successful Subjugate Dead goes off at the same time as Zan's successful Turn Undead and the now-friendly ghost runs off and vanishes. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, Jumurak is checking out what's down the well. Turns out a bunch of tunnels that lead down deeper... he finds a waterlogged book (in Occitan, annoyingly) but otherwise gives up the well for now. (50 exp)
- Someone peeks through a window and sees a delicious feast! People in there eating delicious food! (50 exp)
- Gorund has entered the house through the big solid oak door, finding a corridor with hanging panels on one side. They depict sexual acts between skeletons, corpses, and people. Sexy. (50 exp)
- The main armory hall is large and well lit, warm light floods through cracked glass, illuminating a few suits of armour (which maybe moves?) and some richly appointed furniture (which doesn't). (50 exp)
- Gorund explores further, seeing occasional spooky things happen. Going through a door, he finds himself in an antechamber. Only real thing of interest is the Ayarai family crest, with Non Omnis Moriar motto. (50 exp)
- Someone behind a door starts banging and shouting for someone to open the door! Gorund does so, and a flustered looking ghost barges out, thanks him, and wanders down the hall (50 exp)
- The rest of the party, following Gorund's path into the building, inspect many of the same things... as the session ends they begin to squeak open the door to the banquet hall... (50 exp)

Total: 1250 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Burns bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco di Panicco dell'Arte bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic (Lulu - 100 exp)

- Snackbringer bonus (Gorund, Zan, Jumurak, Cranky Jim, Gastron - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Ludovico, Gastron - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Gastron, Dante, Ludovico - 100 exp ea.)

Total: 1050 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None as yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Many close calls, but everyone survived!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54957 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 51133 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 38514 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 13103 (Level up at 16000)

-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 31557 (Level up at 35200)
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 7814 (Level up at 12000)Tom / Ludovico, Level 2 Magic User: 3128 (Level up at 4500)
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 2 Barbarian: 2828 (Level up at 4000)Warren / Dante, Level 2 Elf (Flitting Gad): 2533 (Level up at 3000)
Absent or Retired:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 76649 (Level up at 128000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)*DING from afar!* +1d6 HP! Max 36 Rats!Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 112 - Every Parent We Reach is Dead

While I imagine the corn field was meant to be a terrible struggle to escape, the party is too clever. Now they are once again trapped... in a forcefield! Behind a maze! Is the trapped-in-a-location thing overdone? Probably!

Tuesday 15th November is the last time we're in the Mad Hatter this year, due to Christmas parties. Alternative arrangements will be made!

Late recap due to a holiday in Germany, so see you lot tonight.

"Dear diary,

Mamma mia! Once again, a womanly saviour rescued me from the clutches of the tentacles. She is rather big and hairy though - un poco more portly than a Venetian courtesan!

Calamari for dinner, in rather quaint tumble down cottage.

Spoke to il padre. He is still disappointed with my career choice, but I will prevail!

Dear diary,

I did not almost die today - fantastico! We are in the grounds of a beautiful palazzo, though far less grand than the casa Medici in my beloved Firenze. My new friends are skilled blacksmiths too apparently - not since Leonardo was such a talented group of people formed!

Just rations today, that taste like iron. I am still getting used to this English cuisine..." - Excerpt from Ludovico's diary

"I used to curse my father that, as the youngest child, I was sent to be formally educated rather than dedicate my formative years as a child to the camp and tundra. However, now I take comfort in the words I write and I appreciate, and even rejoice in, the fact that I can express myself in ways other than through bloodshed and drink. The time down here amongst the uncivilised dregs of the land, amongst Gorga slaves in waiting, has undoubtedly made me a better and formidable warrior. However, I worry that it has weakened my spirit, like the fires of a forge softens the steel of even the truest blade. Only yesterday I found myself saving a pathetic and unworthy companion of the death he deserved... A few months ago I would have let him die and perhaps even have tracked down and then castrated his father so that he could no longer sire such fragile monstrosities. Perhaps the great goddess of the Eternal Night has plans for him which not even a princess of the North can see..."

- Excerpt from Lulu's diary

- Zan escapes across the rye, by Ollie​



Session 112 - Every Parent We Reach is Dead

Campaign Date:

Market Day, 19 March, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Pisces

Enemies Defeated:

- The Ryefield, escaped (500 exp)
- A bunch of living flame people, locked into their furnace (375 exp)
Total: 875 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- Meteoric iron knuckledusters, forged in living flame
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Escaped spooooky cornfield! (100 exp)
- Travelled 24 miles (80 exp)
- First party to enter the Cursed Chateau (100 exp)

Total: 280 exp
New Backstory:- Lulu, trapped in the cave with Stabbington, was beset by bears! Her seductive plan did not go to plan at all! Of course, she killed more bears with her bare hands, but the mood was ruined. (+2 to AC and saves for ten minutes when a plan goes awry)
- Gorund trained under a master bard who was very fond of him. When Gorund left, his master gave him his lute. Used it to "bang for roof and food". (Once per session, cause someone who trusts you to pass all morale and fear checks for ten minutes)
- Sophia, as we know, tragically lost her family when she accidentally dropped a church bell on them. When the bell was finally moved... it became apparent that they hadn't died in the initial impact and had starved to death beneath it. They didn't tell her, to protect her from the truth. (When you roll the worst possible failure on a roll, nearby PCs gain +1 AC for a round)
Events:
- With many trapped inside the field, plans are enacted to escape! (50 exp)
- Lulu creates some stilts, Ludovico on her back, runs into field. They collapse! Ludovico falls! (50 exp)
- Zan also creates stilts but casts #hyperblessed on himself. The stilts collapse... in such a way that they bind tighter! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim climbs down the well and checks out what's down there... basically the creature's head or something is down there. Creeped out, he climbs back up. (50 exp)
- Jumurak rides across in his amoeba fortress! (50 exp)
- Guido carries many people! They all help to resist tentacle attacks! (50 exp)
- Mortis the skeleton horse is ridden across! Onwards, Morris! (50 exp)
- Ludovico attempts to cast a spell but a tentacle disrupts him! The tentacle erupts in chanting mouths. She saves him and fireman-lifts him across the field. (50 exp)
- On the way he casts Speak With Dad, his crow flies down to become a telephone, and his dad informs him that he should visit sometime his mother misses him. (50 exp)
- Fighting through the surging tentacles, the party makes it to the other side! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Gorund meets them at the other side. We established in the meantime that his family home was nearby! The party head there to meet the parents. (50 exp)
- Unfortunately Gorund's parents are dead. It is tragic. Especially since their house had food in it, they were too old to get up and cook. (50 exp)
- The harpsichord is stashed in the house and, realising that the spooky chateau is available for a LIMITED TIME ONLY during the Halloween season, the party head there! (50 exp)
- The chateau squats in front of Mt Death Frost, looking as though it has emerged from the very earth itself. A hedge maze is in front of the path to the door (50 exp)
- Investigation reveals that the area around the Chateau is covered by some sort of invisible barrier, necessitating use of the maze to enter... (50 exp)
- Zan casts Dispel Magic on the barrier and the party enter. That was easy! (50 exp)
- As they enter, a bored Frenchman speaks in their heads. He speaks Occitan but everyone understands what he's saying. Sophia, it turns out, actually knows Occitan already! (50 exp)
- The grounds around the chateau are well groomed, but empty. Inspecting the
- An outbuilding is inspected, it's a smithy! (50 exp)
- Inside are two forges, a couple of normal swords, and a bunch of horseshoes and pots and pans and other useful things of chateau life. (50 exp)
- Testing the forges, it seems sticking a torch in there causes it to turn into a little talking flame guy! They seem simple, but very hot, and love to eat fuel. (50 exp)
- Lulu takes the opportunity, with Cranky Jim's help, to forge meteoric iron claimed from a Dwarven dungeon aaaaages ago into knuckledusters. Sweet. (50 exp)
- Some of the party leave in pursuit of the kitchens, reasoning that there might be marmalade within. I don't know why they had this idea but it's probably true now. (50 exp)
- The bored Frenchman gets bored of the Smithy people and tells the little flame people to attack! They turn all angry-faced, but Lulu is quick with the forge door and shuts them in! (50 exp)
- The other flames might be attacking next session... but for this one we've run out of time. (50 exp)

Total: 1250 exp

Misc:
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)

- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)

- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)- Near Death Experience bonus (Ludovico - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Art bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Lulu, Ludovico - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Zan, Gastron, Cranky Jim, Jumurak - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Lulu, Gorund, Sophia - 100 exp ea.)

Total: 550 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None as yet!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 76049 (Level up at 128000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54325 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 50601 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 38082 (Level up at 72000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 12887 (Level up at 16000)

-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 31025 (Level up at 35200)
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 7282 (Level up at 12000)Tom / Ludovico, Level 2 Magic User: 2496 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell!
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 2 Barbarian: 2096 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Table!
Absent or Retired:
Warren / Dante, Level 1 Elf (Flitting Gad): 2001 (Level up at 3000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 6 Ratman: 47965 (Level up at 48000)*DING from afar!* +1d6 HP! Max 36 Rats!Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 111 - 2spooky!

Fuck yea this is a great Art Attack.

So we leave the group trapped in a strange field of rye, with some of their number on the outside with a stolen harpsichord.
Spooky book found!
Other spooky book found!
Heresies uttered!
Scary stories about the cornfield confirmed!

ooOOOoOOOoooo

Also no Mad Hatter next week, Andy's hosting again because he's the best.
Message if you need details

​

The Tales of the Scarecrow:

- A dying lover who looked to embalm herself to await the return of her sweetheart. He left her for greener pastures. All those who have betrayed a loved one are trapped by the Scarecrow's side. They won't leave her again.
- The Scarecrow will kill any person that has love in their heart, as the Scarecrow lost his one love in a gambling bet to find out later she was killed in a farming incident. To win peace you must be faithful to farming.
- The curséd rye will make you die! The Scarecrow was cursed by a witch he spurned, because he denied her his seed he must forcibly gather thousands. Each plant is a person killed in the field.
- The Scarecrow is just a scarecrow. The Rye is the hair of a giant worm god buried beneath the earth...
- The Scarecrow is a murderer, his punishment to protect his field even long after his death. Intruders make great fertiliser for the crop, so ideally he'll use the rye to pull us all into the soil. SPOOKY!
- Spooky Scarecrow is growing evil silk worms to knit into grandmother's stockings to take over their souls. Nannageddon beckons.
- The Scarecrow arrived one day. Slowly all the villagers started disappearing. Every night more of the devilish green hell expanded. THEY'RE PEOPLE. THE RYE. IT'S PEOPLE. The villagers, tronsmogrified into the rye only want out. The maddening screech of the Scarecrow in their head. "Give us your Flesh", said the rye, "We will be Free with it". The Scarecrow isn't what you think. Dig deep, deep into the earth. The unknown horror awaits, always WATCHING.
- She screamed as she gave birth to the Scarecrow. She wanted to get rid of her baby after the attack from the Faceless Beast nine months ago. But no matter what she tried, she couldn't. As the Scarecrow came out it consumed its mother. Now the Scarecrow stands on the spot of his birth, but a flays the skin of all who come near to sustain him. In the field he stands. He smiles and calls to lost travelers on moonless nights.

Excerpt from Ludovico's diary

"Dear diary, 

 By sheer chance I am writing this tome, for it is little short of miraculous that I live. I have stared into the maws of death, and was it not for the intervention of the necromancer, the tentacles would yet be feasting upon my corpse.

 The necromancer - my twisted saviour. There is a time when I would have fled her, but recent events have led me to question my assumptions of good or evil. In the rotting cabin, guarded by ravenous madmen, we found at last the abhorrent grimoire, entitled in the Roman script Malleus Deus. Its unspeakable pages have opened to me vast abysses of knowing.

 There is no life within its binding, yet, to look upon its pages is, with a cruel irony, to feel alive. But only because I now truly know the horror of my own mortality, and an overwhelming chaos that I cannot un-know.

 Had fried dog for supper. 7/10."

Session 111 - 2spooky!

Campaign Date:

Market Day, 15 March, 1550
Moon Phase: New
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:
- Ludovico, a Wizard with a crow familiar, ex-chirurgeon
- Gâstron Bistró, Barbarian Frenchman attached to army as a chef, a job he'd been trying to get since arriving in the country. He made ends meet by peat cutting, which he hated.

Enemies Defeated:

- A large number of tentacles from beneath the cornfield (100 exp)
Total: 100 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- A book entitled "The Tales of the Scarecrow"
- A heretical tome entitled "Malleus Deus"
- An incredibly ornate rapier studded with gems and jewels (5000 exp)
- A high quality harpsichord (10000 exp)
Total: 15000 exp

Exploration:- First party to visit the spooooky cornfield (100 exp)
Total: 100 exp
New Backstory:- Lulu and Stabbington were hiding in a cave from what Lulu alleged to be dragons. She built a wall to keep the dragons out! And more importantly... keep the two of them in... (Once per session, something you've plausibly trapped won't escape this session)
- Stabbington's hard work in forming Tomb busters finally paid off after all these years! (At the start of the session, a random player names a challenge you will complete. +1 to hit until end of session if you complete it)
Events:
- The leaders of the army warbands inform the party of two spoooooky things to be investigated. (50 exp)
- The Cleric says that the last copy of the Malleus Deus, a spooooky book, has surfaced. A man bought it in Fate, and the horrifically heretical tome must be found and destroyed! (50 exp)
- The Specialist says that a spoooooky chateau has emerged in front of the only known path up Mt Death Frost. It seems to have somehow crawled in from elsewhere. (50 exp)
- After a show of hands, the spooky book option is chosen! The Cleric gives the last known bearing of the guy who bought the book and the gang set off. (50 exp)
- A perfectly circular field of corn UH SORRY rye is discovered. It appears somewhat spooky. From horse and chariot-back, a house in the centre of the field can be seen. There is also a scarecrow which draws immediate attention. (50 exp)
- When tested, it seems like good, clean rye. Mmm-mmmmm. (50 exp)
- Zan tries to eat some and has potentially fatal stomach cramps! He cures himself before it gets to that point. (50 exp)

- Lulu rides in with chariot, dog running ahead through the corn. She shoots the scarecrow to no effect. The trail they crush behind them quickly regrows. Sophia joins them riding Morris UH SORRY Mortis, the skeletal horse. (50 exp)
- Others follow and find themselves stymied by the swift-growing corn. All except Jumurak who makes good time with his blob army! (50 exp)
- Gorund approaches the house and peers within, seeing a badass sword through a window. Other party members reach the edge of the house clearing and sort of lurk around. (50 exp)
- Lulu hears Rupert whimpering! He's being attacked! Lulu rides in to help him but is attacked by ropey tentacles that burst from the very earth! (50 exp)
- Rupert's final yelp results in dog chunks spraying above the rye. Lulu manages to find his tail. (50 exp)
- Sophia finds herself and her horse being likewise attacked by tentacles! She's thrown off, and Lulu runs to help. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, most of the others begin heading in towards the house. Gorund creeps up to the windows and looks in. There's an awesome sword on a bed! (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim decides to dig into the rye field, right at the edge. He hits a spongey substrate and cuts the tentacle that attacks him in half with his shovel. (50 exp)
- Jumurak is alone with his amoebae which consume the rye as they go. But he's alone. He tries to head towards the house but a bunch of tentacles attack him and his blobs! They do super well. (50 exp)
- Zan saves Lulu's horse Penelope from tentacles then casts Heroism and turns it into a GOD HORSE with a halo and horns and all sorts! He and Sophia ride towards the house AT GOD SPEED as Lulu goes on foot towards the scarecrow. (50 exp)
- Lulu reaches the scarecrow after fighting through tentacles and it begins SUCKING THE VERY LIFE FROM HER BONES. She turns to go towards the house but gets lost in the corn, ending up back at the scarecrow! (50 exp)
- She breaks the scarecrow to no effect, then turns away again and gets it right this time. Phew! (50 exp)
- In the house, a starving man is seen just lying there. Suddenly it is a horror movie... for him! A window smashes! A door is kicked in! A raven flies in through the chimney and flaps around squawking! (50 exp)
- He screams! (50 exp)
- It is the party doing their best to vandalise property. The house clearing is investigated, finding a well of good, clean water. Also some dead horses. (50 exp)
- The man, Richard Fox, is starving to death. He talks when calmed down and given some food. (50 exp)
- Turns out he bought these books and the awesome sword in Fate, then left the city when he was spooked by people coming after the books. (50 exp)
- The books in question are the Malleus Deus, an incredibly heretical tome, and the Tales of the Scarecrow, a spooky book of scary stories. (50 exp)
- During the questioning of Richard Fox, Lulu comes in with some water from the well. She says it's from her own supply, and he accepts gratefully. He dies of worm explosion. (50 exp)
- The books are checked out. Malleus Deus contains many spells, heretical information about the gods. Zan begins spouting heresy. Some of the spells in the book are Cleric spells... (50 exp)
- The Tales of the Scarecrow is a spooooky gimmick where people write their own spooky story and I choose the most scary/dangerous one! James "Ratman" Gregory wins and decides to give the exp reward to the absent Rat LeBlanc. (50 exp)
- Gorund decides to take the harpsichord. Lulu grants him use of the chariot, albeit warning of dire consequences to horse death. Also, everyone agrees to chip in for a statue of Rupert. (50 exp)
- Runes are used to expand the doorway enough to fit the harpsichord out and Gorund rides out of the ryefield while playing a tune. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- With the others inside the house clearing for now, we end the session with a spoooooky split party. (50 exp)

Total: 1550 exp

Misc:
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Chase bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Ludovico - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Art bonus (Ludovico - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fight bonus (Ludovico - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Gorund, Lulu, Zan - 100 exp ea.)
- Cranky Jim retroactively caroused! (Cranky Jim - 3520 exp)

Total: 550 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- A heretical tome has surfaced and must be destroyed!
- A creepy chateau has arisen before Mt Death Frost.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Rupert, a sweet doggo taken too soon.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 75301 (Level up at 128000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 68702 (Level up at 128000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 53777 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 50153 (Level up at 56000)Kitty / Sophia, Level 6 Necromancer: 37634 (Level up at 72000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +Saves improve! +1 level 3 spell/day! +free spell!-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 12713 (Level up at 16000)

-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 29577 (Level up at 35200)
Henry / Gorund, Level 4 Specialist: 6834 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! Warren / Dante, Level 1 Elf (Flitting Gad): 2001 (Level up at 3000)
Tom / Ludovico, Level 1 Magic User: 1948 (Level up at 2250)
James / Gâstron Bistró, Level 1 Barbarian: 1648 (Level up at 2000)
Absent or Retired:
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)
James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 23851 (Level up at 24000)
Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human