Session 59 - Sail Away

After some delay, the recap!

I will level with you guys, the last time I prepped for this area it was years ago and nobody ever went there.

All I had scrawled down was "pearls", "mermaids?" and "fishing village/harbour fallen on hard times" alongside some notes about the magical lighthouse light being stolen.

You basically experienced the only things there were to see on the islands... FOR NOW.

Expect some changes (and a map) as I "discover" what the deal is over the coming weekend. Probably with children hanging off me since I'm up at my girlfriend's sister's (is there such a thing as a de facto sister-in-law?)

For Ollie/Lulu, I've got Lulu's bank account as having 500 silver (=10 gold) in it, is that right?
If it is, your sicckk interest is 9 copper pieces since you took it out.

Session 59 - Sail Away

Campaign date:
Monday, 8 October, 1549
Moon phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Virgo

God of the Week: Dispater

New Characters:

- Roht, Muscle Wizard and failed piemaker.

- Unnamed Cleric of the God of Gardening

Enemies defeated:

- Some sort of tentacled monster(s?), distracted and evaded twice (750 exp)
- A shitload (eight) of centipedes, stabbed a bunch (40 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A talking chest which currently possibly contains Emma, Bob's crazy girlfriend.

- A fair amount of well-preserved clothing from over a hundred years ago (500 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Exploration:

- Travelled 180 miles or so (600 exp)

- First party to enter Dunharbour (200 exp)

- First party to enter the Sea Caves of Dunharbour (100 exp)

- First party to visit the Lighthouse (200 exp)

- 7 dungeon rooms explored (140 exp)

- 1 secret door found (50 exp)

Total: 1290 exp

Events:

- Met newbies, went back into Edge in order to let Lulu buy a longship (50 exp)

- Travelled south along the river to reach Fate and order a cart (or boat) mounted flamethrower for Lulu and a grappling hook leg for John Doe (50 exp)

- Sailed to the islands off the coast, mooring at the cove of Dunharbour (50 exp)

- Met locals who absolutely love the bland local Krillkin and couldn't handle the sweet taste of Lulu's honey (50 exp).

- Found out about "mermaid pearls" which wash out of the sea caves nearby and allegedly allow you to breathe underwater. (50 exp)
- The caves are found and some of the pearls collected. Bob eats one and it explodes in his mouth, but he cannot breathe underwater. (50 exp)

- The caves are investigated by using Floating Disk as a boat and a tentacled horror is prevented from dragging Bob's crazy girlfriend, Emma, into the deeps. (50 exp)

- The area is waterlogged and contains much ruined food and drink, a talking chest is found who says any locked inside him will get their heart's desire (50 exp)

- Emma willingly enters the chest and it locks tight, the chest is subsequently carried around (50 exp)

- Explorations find more damp areas and a rising tide inside the caves (50 exp)

- Tightly locked and waterproofed barrels open like wardrobes to reveal old timey clothes, also poisonous centipedes (50 exp)

- The centipedes are slain, though Lulu spends a few seconds freaking out about a centipede bite (50 exp)

- The caves are exited in an exciting manner as the wardrobes are used as canoes to evade tentacles. (50 exp)

- Party stay the night in the town, Bob refuses talking chest's request to get inside it and threatens it with being turned into firewood if it doesn't give her back. It says it can't. (50 exp)

- Party decides to check out the Lighthouse, travels to find an old lighthouse-keeper complaining that someone stole the lighthouse's sea-calming beacon ten or so years ago and he's had to burn wood ever since (50 exp)

- A plan is concocted to lure ships onto the rocks with a false lighthouse (50 exp)

Total: 800 exp

Misc:

- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)

- PETA bonus (50 exp)

- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)

- Vore bonus (50 exp)

- Selfless Charity bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)

- Failed Saving Throw bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)

Total: 200 exp + bonuses

Active Businesses:

- Peggy Pigrider - Pie Mama's. Safe. Value: 1213sp

- John Doe the Unlucky - Anvil, Mining and Craft Company. Risky. Value: 1579sp

- Lulu Spiderbite - Clunge Honey. Safe. Value: 1190sp

- Joe Joe - Josephine's Petting Zoo. Risky. Value: 1500sp

- Stabbington Shanks - Tomb Busters. Risky. Value: 600sp

Quests and Rumours:

- A legit quest - find whoever stole the lighthouse beacon and bring it back.

- The King's been kidnapped by his Noon! The capital is in disarray!

- There's witches in Caversdale. They dance nude in the light of the moon and kill all animals save their familiars.

- Demons and Elves turn to dust if you can trick them into eating a silver coin.

- Castigate Pox, Necromancer-General, has breached Moondin's gates. It must be a warzone in there! 

- Many people are being drawn to Dwimmermount now that it is known to be open, and Muntburg is once again a centre of trade.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today!

Exp Totals:

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 11857 (Level up at 16000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 3 Dwarf: 7854 (Level up at 8800)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)

Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 3 Halfling: 4631 (Level up at 8000)

-- Bat (whose name I forgot), Level 0 Chiroptera

David / Theras, Level 1 Specialist (Assassin): 1386 (Level up at 1500)

Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)

Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)

Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)

Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 7512 (Level up at 8000)

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)

Daniel / Davrak, Level1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 58 - Alchemical Romance

Kind of a low exp session today, but at least you got a fair whack of cash!

So you all know, while looting is the primary source of experience in this game, you don't get exp for currency obtained from rewards (like this alchemist). You only get it for the value of loot taken from dangerous locales.

For new people - I tried my best but it's likely I've assigned people to the wrong character in the thing below. I apologise! There were so many of you!

If I got something wrong, definitely let me know so I can fix it for next time!

Session 58 - Alchemical Romance

Campaign date:
Wednesday, 3 October, 1549
Moon phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

God of the Week: Eris

New Characters:

- Alden, "former" village idiot armed with a jar of piss and a "sausage flute". Believes jar of piss is source of significant magical aptitude.

- Thant, Cleric of the Unorthodox Church and breeder of dogs.

- Sir Arthur, a Fighter and scholar.

- Arran Folynn, a piratical rogue far from the seas.

- Theras, the Baker Assassin.

Enemies defeated:

- "Pussy Pete", death by firing squad (25 exp)

- 3 scampering abscess-people, boomsticked and stabbed and shot (75 exp)

- A bat, mind controlled (0 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 1000sp, scalped from Un Raga Praag for the cysts and pus.

- A gold-plated black labrador worth 25gp, very dead.

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- Travelled 60 miles or so (200 exp)

- 1 Random encounter, even though they were just bats (20 exp)

- First party to enter Gwinear (200 exp)

Total: 420 exp

Events:

- Rested a while following escape from Feathered Swine, met entire party of low level hoodlums who were persuaded to join the group. (50 exp)

- Re-entered caves after killing Joe Joe's mind-controlled cancer man by firing squad. (50 exp)

- Undirected Halfling mind control via flute succeeds merely in attracting attention (50 exp) 

- Group flees and kills those that emerge into light outside cave mouth via a variety of means, including a "boomstick" consisting primarily of gunpowder on the end of a ten foot pole (50 exp)

- Caves are decided to be too dangerous, travel plans concocted. Group decides to take shorter route despite tolls. (50 exp)

- Turns out "Free Cart Tuesday!" is totally a thing. Who knew? (50 exp)

- Party travel through Edge, one of the Twinned Cities. Joe Joe struggles to comprehend this whole pretending-the-other-city-isn't-there-even-though-it-totally-is thing. (50 exp)

- Gwinear is reached and the Alchemist, Un Raga Praam, is talked to. He has some strange little men for servants. I enjoy doing the voice a whole lot. (50 exp)

- Meanwhile, John Doe the Unlucky organises a trade route for his mine's smelted iron with a local traditional Dwarf blacksmith whose accent is totally not sliding all over the place. (50 exp)

- Un Raga Praam is "persuaded" to give a higher than average price for your two measly cysts and cookpot full of pus. He's not happy, but also transmutes Thant's dog's skin and fur to gold. (50 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)

- First Against the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)

- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)

- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)

- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)

- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)

- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)

- PETA bonus (50 exp)

- War Crime bonus (50 exp)

- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)

- Selfless Charity bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)

- And 600 exp split between last week's survivors (Lulu, Stabbington, John Doe), I forgot to give you experience for the cysts!

Total: 650 exp + bonuses

Active Businesses:

- Peggy Pigrider - Pie Mama's. Safe. Value: 1213sp

- John Doe the Unlucky - Anvil, Mining and Craft Company. Risky. Value: 1579sp

- Lulu Spiderbite - Clunge Honey. Safe. Value: 1190sp

- Joe Joe - Josephine's Petting Zoo. Risky. Value: 1500sp

- Stabbington Shanks - Tomb Busters. Risky. Value: 600sp

Quests and Rumours:

- I saw an honest-to-gods demon the other day. He had terrible tusks and terrible claws, and terrible teeth in his terrible jaws!

- I got family down in Dosely and in Dunhaven, fishing in the Deeprush is dangerous these days what with all those demons in the water.

- A star fell on Gaston and then their children started disappearing. These are dark times.

- I hear Goblin pig balloons have been spotted over the Twinned Cities. I don't doubt they're looking for weakness.

- In Carrowmore they found a boat made of pure gold. Can you believe it?! Pure gold!!

- The demons have breached the wall and entered the swamps of Moondine. Anybody anywhere near the wall is doomed. Doomed!

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today!

Exp Totals:

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 10934 (Level up at 16000)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 7512 (Level up at 8000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 3 Dwarf: 7131 (Level up at 8800)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 3 Halfling: 4631 (Level up at 8000)

-- Bat (whose name I forgot), Level 0 Chiroptera

David / Theras, Level 1 Specialist (Assassin): 1386 (Level up at 1500)

Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)

Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)

Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)

Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)

Daniel / Davrak, Level1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 57 - This Expedition Cost Us an Arm and a Leg (and a wizard and an elf)

And that's a second one-legged Dwarf in the campaign! Who knew battlefield amputations were so easy with a flame sword?

In general a prosthetic leg will count as an Oversized item all on it's own, which means it slows you down a bit but you can mitigate it by carrying less stuff.

Until you get one though, you'll have to hobble around or crawl or something, which isn't particularly speedy!

For businesspeople - I'll start telling you how much your business lost/gained in these emails so you can decide what to do with the profits. I've been assuming that you've been reinvesting it into the business, but maybe you want to take some out occasionally! 

You can take out as much as you want at the time of the monthly return.

Here's a breakdown:

Peggy Pigrider - Pie Mama's. Safe investment. Lost 63sp value by end of month. New value is 1213sp. 

Some weird stuff is going on back in Pillartown, giving penalties.

John Doe the Unlucky - Anvil, Mining & Craft, Inc. Risky investment. Gained 16sp value by end of month - new value is 1579sp. 

Blood-powered mining machine and blood supply giving bonuses. Small penalty for commandeering company assets (donkey and cart). Supply of pig blood to mountains makes people suspicious, especially since there's a huge graveyard and an alleged Necromancer up there.

Lulu Spiderbite - Clunge Honey. Safe investment. Gained 190sp value by end of month - new value is 1190sp.

Bonus for word of mouth marketing (and free samples) which will continue if you keep advertising!

Joe Joe - Josephine's Petting Zoo. Risky investment. Newly incorporated. Initial investment: 1500sp.

Bonus for Halfling mind control. Bringing new and exciting animals to petting zoo is sure to give further bonuses.

Stabbington Shanks - Tomb Busters. Risky investment. Newly incorporated. Initial investment: 600sp.

Possible bonus for making a name for yourselves. If you want the headquarters to be in Fortress City Fate you'll have to head over there at some point!

I've added a new "Active Businesses" category in the recap too.

Session 57 - This Expedition Cost Us an Arm and a Leg (and a wizard and an elf)

Campaign date:
Monday, 3 October, 1549
Moon phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

God: Eris

New Characters:

Malanth, an Leech whose elven transformation into a Misergeist was just beginning.

Enemies defeated:

- 2 mewling cancer-people overgrown with pulsing growths and worm-filled cysts, slain with fire sword. (50 exp)

- 2 bloated and sobbing people used as living wombs by the cancer-men, burnt alive. (0 exp) 

- 1 scampering man-thing whose entire back was one big throbbing abscess, exploded (25 exp)

- 1 feathered swine, fled from (0 exp)

Total: 75 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 17 sp (17 exp)

- Yellowed love letter in a childish scrawl.

- 10 large rocks studded with tiny crystals (500 exp)

- 5 Ruby Tears of Mercy mushrooms, useful for clotting blood (instantly remove Bleed dice)

- 10 Deliquescent Bluecap mushrooms, useful in a healing poultice (+1d6 HP to successful First Aid roll).

- 2 remaining brass syringes of sedative (100 exp)

- A spellbook bound in a metal box with The Book of Flesh written on the spine.

- Menacingly weird armour, left behind

Total: 600 exp

Exploration:

- 4 heretofore unknown dungeon areas explored. (80 exp)

- Secret "door' found (50 exp)

Total: 130 exp

Events:

- Pulled out of dungeon to regroup, Felix Longworm plucks up his courage to come in and and find spellbook. Passing healer roped into party with promises of loot. (50 exp)

- Explored a side passage and collapsed the floor, waking feathered swine below. Decided to go the long way around. (50 exp)

- Walked further, saw the pool from last time is now full of fat, white worms wriggling about. (50 exp)

- Found spot in room of holes where a side passage had collapsed, went inside and found a lot of weird mushrooms, a creepy suit of black armour with emaciated corpse still inside (50 exp)

- Took some mushrooms, left armour behind and endeavoured to come back later, left Screaming Puffball mushroom as makeshift alarm. (50 exp)

- In next chamber saw cancer-men vomiting into the mouth of a man with a grotesquely oversized belly used as a living womb. Attacked them with cauterising fire sword, crossbow bolts. (50 exp)

- One of them gets its claws into John Doe's leg, causing it to rapidly begin swelling and mutating. Stabbington and Lulu try to chop leg off but can't penetrate armour. Malanth saves the day with application of leeches to delay mutation followed by quick and painful amputation. (50 exp)

- Cancer-men killed, living womb killed with fire, he screams his thanks as he burns. (50 exp)

- Chamber narrows, at the end another living womb. This time a woman, backpack still on her shoulders constricting her and arching her back painfully. (50 exp)

- Backpack strap cut, but she begins vomiting copious white bile full of small white worms with tiny arms. She is also burnt alive, and non-flammable metal spellbook and syringes taken from her remains. (50 exp)

- Grunting and oinking sounds come from next room, sedative inexpertly injected into Feathered Swine wakes it up. Squeals attract crawling man-things with giant sebaceous cysts covering their entire backs. Felix Longworm is bitten in the face and begins mutating, (50 exp)

- Malanth chops Felix's head off before he can turn, but is splashed with mutagenic pus in the chest and begins mutating himself. Party members bug out, running for rope still hanging from hole in ceiling. (50 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)

- Ludicrous Pus bonus (50 exp)

- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (50 exp)

- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)

- Amputation bonus (100 exp - John Doe)

- Failed Saving Throw bonus (100 exp - John Doe)

- Horrifying Realisation bonus (100 exp - John Doe)

- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - John Doe)

- Death's Witness bonus (100 exp ea. - Survivors)

- Died In Your First Session bonus (200 exp - David's next character)

- Noble Sacrifice bonus (1000 exp - David's next character)

- Lulu Spiderbite retroactively spends 1000sp on Mr Burg's funeral costs. 1981 of the deceased's experience remains to be "bought" in this way. (1000 exp - Lulu)

Total: 300 exp + bonuses

Active Businesses:

- Peggy Pigrider - Pie Mama's. Safe. Value: 1213sp

- John Doe the Unlucky - Anvil, Mining and Craft Company. Risky. Value: 1579sp

- Lulu Spiderbite - Clunge Honey. Safe. Value: 1190sp

- Joe Joe - Josephine's Petting Zoo. Risky. Value: 1500sp

- Stabbington Shanks - Tomb Busters. Risky. Value: 600sp

Quests and Rumours:

- None today.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- John Doe, leg chopped off in time to save him from a fate worse than death.

- Felix Longworm, hench-wizard with no spells, bitten by Feathered Swine and began turning into cancer monster.

- Malanth, got gunk on him while euthanising Felix and mutated himself.

Exp Totals:

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 10448 (Level up at 16000)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 7126 (Level up at 8000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 3 Dwarf: 6745 (Level up at 8800)

David / (David's next character): 1200 (Level up at ???)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 3 Halfling: 4445 (Level up at 8000)

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)

Daniel / Davrak, Level1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 56 - The Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine

This week our heroes entered the doomed and dangerous depths of the Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine. The swelling cysts hanging from its corpulent flesh are super valuable, but there's also a lost spellbook in the cave and Joe Joe wants to enthrall the Swine itself to become a part of her petting zoo.

Inside there were mutated humans who screamed for help even as they savaged the dead, covered with monstrous growths and filled with horrible white worms and stinking pus and oozing lymph.

Despite all that, probably the most horrifying thing was the discovery that Portuguese children wear their own teeth as jewellery. Thanks, Mariana.

For all - We were forced out of the usual spot! Sounds like I'd better turn up before 6:00 from now on to grab my place. We'll still start 6:30-7:00ish, but feel free to come earlier to keep me company!

If you don't see me/us in the main room in future, we were in the comfy sofa area this time. That's the backup from now on!

For Ollie/Lulu - I am attaching a picture of your missing business thingy for Clunge Honey. It was in another folder! Whoops! I've already applied the extra value for your business, and after the big surge in sales I think this Clunge Wagon is really going to get off the ground!

For Kyle/John Doe the Unlucky - I forgot to get you to level up! Sorry! You'll get 1d10 more health, and here's a link to the Lorebond document so you can pick a dwarf upgrade.

The document says it's every three levels, but I've changed it so you get your first one at level 3 and then every two levels thereafter. So like levels 3, 5, 7, 9, etc etc. Mainly because it takes ages to level up as you gain experience.

As I said last week, the idea is that you have to do something related to the ability to unlock it (I'll tell you after you've chosen!) and binds you with an unbreakable taboo like what is in myffs and legends innit.

For all - New rules thing because Dominic/Stabbington did it and it seems like a cool rule - you can use your action to help out a buddy in combat now. Instead of attacking you give your attack bonus to them because you're flanking and distracting the bad guy and stuff.

In a similar vein, I'm going to use this thing from D&D 5 where you have to use your action to Disengage to run away, everyone you're in combat with gets a free attack if you don't. Elegant!

Stabbington Shanks has incorporated a business under the Tomb Busters brand. Headquarters are in Fortress City Fate. Presumably this is a growing area of the economy what with all the necromancy in the south.

Joe Joe has hired some Halflings (and a normal woman) to create a Josephine's Petting Zoo, a travelling animal show with a variety of surprisingly tame dangerous beasts available to pat. She's determined to capture weird and wonderful animals to add to the business.

Session 56 - The Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine

Campaign date:
Monday, 1 October, 1549
Moon phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

God: Eris

New Characters:

Davrak, a Dentist with a sack of teeth, a hammer, and a penchant for magic. Mostly 'armless.

Enemies defeated:

- 4 mewling cancer-people overgrown with pulsing growths and worm-filled cysts. (100 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 126 sp (126 exp)

- A large pearlescent orb covered with tiny holes. Small translucent crabs scuttle over and inside it. (3000 exp)

Total: 3126 exp

Exploration:

- First party to enter the Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine. (100 exp)

- 5 cavernous areas explored (100 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Events:

- Realised selling stuff looted from the village's graveyard in the same village would be pretty suspect. John Doe borrows a cart and mule from his nearby mining business. Joe Joe buys a donkey. Party heads out with loot in tow. (50 exp)

- When passing through a narrow mountain pass, met a scared wizard near a scrubby tree. (50 exp)

- Wizard tells party that he's the only survivor of an attempt to harvest the cysts of a Feathered Swine in a cave nearby. Davrak swaps the wizard's hat for his own but the wizard is fine with that. (50 exp)

- The cave is entered. It is moist and stanky. Party squeeze along a narrow passage. (50 exp)

- A cancerous looking mutant leg is inspected and the sounds of someone trying to keep quiet while breathing heavily in a crevice above are ignored. (50 exp)

- Main passage rejoined, climbed, sounds of sloppy eating heard ahead (50 exp)

- Joe Joe attempts to talk to hideously fleshy lumpen once-human creatures. They scream at her to help them as they scamper forwards. (50 exp)
- Combat is joined. New guy Davrak launches a Light spell while Joe Joe begins mind-controlling the enemies and making them fight each other. Every time they're hit they squirt white frothy worm-filled pus from their pores, but John Doe's flaming sword is actually super good at cauterising the wounds. (50 exp)

- Davrak's arm is splashed with some of the wormy pus and his flesh begins to boil and grow. John Doe acts quickly and slices it straight off. The rapidly expanding lump of flesh drops to the floor. Welcome to my campaign buddy ah ha ha ha. (50 exp)

- Joe Joe sees a strange glowing pearl in nearby pool, sends her surviving mind-slave to retrieve it. The white worms flow from the creature's sores into the water, growing moist and fat, but the slave grabs the pearl out no problem. (50 exp)

- Loot and partially consumed bodies are seen and not touched because they're covered in icky stuff. (50 exp)

- The next chamber is entered, several large holes are in the walls. The holes are inspected, much is ignored in case it's dangerous but some silver pieces are scooped up from the tattered remnants of someone's stuff. (50 exp)
- Joe Joe tries to crawl in another to inspect it and is nearly grabbed by another one of the cancery people. She's pulled out swiftly by chain around her waist and is not pursued out of the hole. (50 exp)

- Sounds of vomiting can be heard from the next chamber, party nope out (it's late) and backtrack out of the cave. (50 exp)

Total: 700 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Ludicrous Pus bonus (50 exp)

- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)

- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)

- Amputation bonus (100 exp - Davrak)

Total: 250 exp + bonus

Quests and Rumours:

- "The Archbishop of Fate has condemned the Holy Tripartite as heathens and heretics."

- "There's been two girls and some sort of bow legged dwarf man in the area. They've been asking after people… people like you."

- "Did you hear? The King is an Unorthodox now, the fucking filth. Mark my words, the demons are coming for him. That's why the country's going to shit."

- "There's no gold up in Carrowmore, so don't bother. My brother went up and said it's all fool's gold and sorrow."

- "There have been stories from Mustom of alien beings living in the woods. Maniacs!"

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Davrak, arm chopped off in time to save him from a fate worse than death.

Exp Totals:

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 6457 (Level up at 8000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 3 Dwarf: 5676 (Level up at 8800)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 3 Halfling: 4445 (Level up at 8000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP +1 to Domination attempts!

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)

Daniel / Davrak, Level1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8779 (Level up at 16000)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human