Session 355 - Balloon Ride to Dwimmermount

Date: 26 September

Moon: Waxing Gibbous
Zenith: The Lady

New Backstory:
- When Odo Grumblebelch left her dwarven hold in the Metal North it was the hottest summer anyone could remember. Not knowing any different she wandered unprotected under the raging sun, and even briefly caught on fire strolling through the Canyon of Liquid Death where the heat builds enough to melt rock. +1 to Con score.

Events:

--- Fresh Air
- We begin with the party heading up the inside of the reactivated Pylon, borne up from the central control room on a lift that takes them to the very top.
- Atop the pylon it's a clear night. The clean gibbous face of the moon shines brightly above, an ominous red star glowing behind it. The air crackles with static. Towards the sea, the great pit of rats has an ominous orange glow.
- In the distance is the glow of the town of Grasp, little torchlights glimmering. Jojo takes out her spyglass and looks closer. It's Dwarves from the town, looking around at the ground in amazement. With the reactivation of the Pylon, the polluted grime of the Drudge Wastes is turning back to good earth.
- They discuss their next moves. De-polluting the Drudge Wastes is a great and heroic plan, but they're worried about what the god Alaunus just told them about the missing God in the heavens. Without a ninth god there is a hole in the planetary defence grid, and the Red Elves easily slip through.
- Luckily they know the tales of where the Ninth God is - deep inside Dwimmermount. They exchange half-forgotten truths - the seraphim factory, the man-turned-god Terms Termax, a portal to a city of demon frogs.

--- Base Jump
- They decide to return to Dwimmermount and awaken the slumbering god. But how?
- Oh yea, they have an airship!

- Odo is stymied from creating a Beam-Light beacon by Warm-Heart, in whose Dwarven culture it is taboo to carve a rune without due respect.
- Jojo instead casts Speak With Dad, punching Warm-Heart in the face and turning him into a living telephone to Iskander, who is currently back on the ship!
- He tells them that coming to pick them up is no problem, but they should wait until the incoming storm passes. The storm is called The Soft, and it makes your skin crinkly. It's not great for a living airship.
- They discuss how to get down to the town so that they can carouse to pass the time. Sydney mentions that they've got Feather Fall.
- Odo jumps off the Pylon.
- Sydney yells "in my spellbook! I meant in my spellbook!" and dives off the edge after her!
- Jojo looks at the camera, shrugs, and jumps too, Warm-Heart under one arm and the dancing grandfather clock under the other!
- Sydney burns mana, wild-casts Feather Fall... and it works! Odo starts drifting gently downwards, while the others' momentum keeps them going a fair distance towards Grasp. Odo cludges together a Repel Air rune (out of sight of Warm-Heart) and creates her own little engine to follow along.

--- Caroose

- Several hours later they're back in Grasp, although the walk from where they landed was much nicer over the part-healed earth than the former sludge.
- The Dwarves at the entrance are grateful and amazed! The land is healing! Even better, the slow drain of the sludge has revealed an unopened wine cellar!
- Odo is down to party! The others... not so much. Sydney and Jojo get a couple of bottles of rosé and head off to study magic together. Jojo's manservant Barry and the dancing clock join Odo, at least, and they head off to the bar. It's a lock-in!
- Behind the bar are several copies of Julgoor! They grin behind their gold masks. Out the back in an ominous shopfront, a huge many-armed Julgoor squats in the darkness and supplies keg after keg of ale.
- Elsewhere in town, Jojo and Sydney have scoured the dead houses for books! They have found many! They settle down to research spells, and overhead the electric sky gives way to the dull heavy blocked-ear feeling of the Soft...

--- Aftermath

- Days later, Odo emerges from the lock-in to find herself in a thin and pervasive mist. She remembers a bar brawl, or at least most of one. Did the clock have sex with a pig or something? She's 2000 obols down, so it must have been good.
- In the skies above is a horrible throbbing pulsating balloon of flesh. It's Jonathon Toast! Iskander shouts "ahoy there!" from above!
- Sydney and Jojo are looking far more fresh than Odo. Their magickal research was a success! Sydney has created Sydney's Sudden Siege Engine, an extradimensional garage that can fit a ballista, which they have also purchased three of. Jojo has created Barbarian Mage, which is barbarian rage but for wizards. They're very pleased.
- The clock stumbles out, bashfully avoiding eye contact with a pig. Barry follows, and tries to enact his professional duties despite his massive hangover.

--- All Aboard!

- They trudge up to the dangling intestines that now constitute Jonathon Toast's B.E.A.M. system. Slightly better than the bucket, and perversely cleans you quite well during transit. Just hold your breath!

- Inside, Jonathon Toast has changed somewhat. He's got a longer face, more rat-like, and the walls tend to be fuzzier than before. He says that reconstituting dead redshirts in his demon vats allows him to mix and match genetic material.
- He still has no sense of direction so they send him north following the river. Sydney uses Recolour to make him a calming shade of teal, which he enjoys.
- They pass over the pyramid and distantly see the Marlingspike sending big soap bubbles into space. Must be the magic they're mining out of the Earth.
- They turn him towards the black shadow wall of the Typhlotic Lands many miles upriver.

--- Bubblecraft Inbound

- There is a cry of "incoming!" and the crew look out the sphincter windows to see a large soap bubble coming alongside! Within are Red Elves, and one of them hails them!
- Odo lobs some rations at them as a peace offering, but misses. The lead Red Elf sends one of his underlings to go get it, and the underling dives out of the bubble to his probable death. He'll be back soon, no doubt.
- They trade for some red dust, and leave in peace. The leader Red Elf tells the party a pass-phrase to show they're peaceful in case they meet more of them - "May you gain this world and all upon it".

--- Just Popping Into Dwarrow
- Rain comes as they get to the edge of the Typhlotic Lands, a wall of darkness that shivers like a curtain in the light of the sun. Jonathon Toast reveals that he's got bioluminescence now!
- In here, light forms bubbles. Everything at the edge of the light is a black featureless wall. Jonathon Toast is scared.
- Nevertheless, they make it through to the great bubble of light within. The Twinned Cities of Edge & Dwarrow are below, shining great wide-beam searchlights into the sky to keep the dark away!
- Jonathon Toast refuses to go further. He is scared and wants a break. There is no rain in here either.
- Sydney berates Jonathon for cowardice.
- They land, and find themselves ignored by everyone. The old separation between Edge and Dwarrow remains. The mortal population stick to Dwarrow, favouring yellows and oranges, walking with a hunched manner like Dwarves. Demons live in Edge, a city of purples and blues. These are two cities overlaid and as long as you ignore the demons in Edge they can't see you in Dwarrow.
- Conveniently the encounter roll comes up with an antique shops selling maps to Dwimmermount! They buy the map there, and a map of Dwarrow too for good measure.
- As they leave, Odo looks up and sees a crow-beaked figure peering down at them. She waves hello, and the head darts back. A kindly old lady runs over in panic and says "oh dear, you were looking at that gargoyle weren't you! Weren't you dear? Weren't you waving it hello?"
- She draws Odo away and admonishes her - the crow-beaked people are from Breach. They police the boundary between the cities. Never look at them, or risk death. A thin crossbow bolt clatters down from above, a warning.

--- To Dwimmermount!
- They scurry on out of the city, not wanting to cause any more problems. At the exit, a bunch of dwarves from Ur-Kalladh are selling Make Light runes to travellers. This upsets Warm-Heart's cultural sensibilities, who goes to tell them off.
- They're simply made anyway, so the party sets off without them. They have their own lights.
- After some hours of walking through the dense black, feeling like they're going nowhere, they finally come to Muntberg! The sun near blinds the party after all that time in blackness!
- Muntberg is half inside the Typhlotic Zone, and has been in ruins for many years. Several houses are still good enough to camp in at least!

- Dwimmermount looms above, the well-trodden path to the top wide enough for carts to pass side by side. The huge Seraphim that once topped the mountain is no longer there, but the scars from its wings still remain.

- They loot the ruins, finding old money, a suspiciously fresh bushel of apples (one black and smoking poisonously), some specialty crossbow bolts, and a hammer that can exorcise ghosts. They decide to settle for the evening, and see what tomorrow brings...

Total: 9000 exp

Loot:

- 715 obolsworth of pre-apocalypse money (715 exp)

- Basket of Mysterious Apples
- 2 speciality Crossbow Bolts

- Hammer of Exorcism

Total: 715 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler and Cartergrapher (200 exp)
- Tom the Expedition Leader and Chef (200 exp)
- Ollie the Quartermaster and Vanguard (200 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Carter / Sydney, Level 7 Magic-User: 84819 (Level up at 144000)

- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 59251 (Level up at 72000)

- Tom / Grumblebelch, Level 5 Dwarf: 23979 (Level up at 32000)

Session 279 - The Road to Robyn

Ah, the sweet balm of the hex-crawl returns once more!
Following ancient maps from before the End Times, our intrepid crew of explorers makes use of the clear summer days to roll up the main road towards Salisburgh.
Between unexpected rivers, crab-human relations, and a whole mess of resurgent mutant life - not to mention the surprise return of Gifflewim and Jeremy's soul - out heroes had a lot on their plates!
Except for food of course, that would have been too much to ask... 

Session 279 - The Road to Robyn

New Backstory:
- Beepbox had an opportunity to save his ailing father’s life when travelling doctors came to town, but he had to turn them down in order to save schoolful of kids. +2 to hit against creatures you witnessed harming innocents this session.

Supplies:
- 2 Frazzlejack (2 exp)

Events:

--- We’re Going To Need a Big Boat
- With Japhet & Hirsch supplying the party’s overland travel needs, the course is set for the party’s expedition out to Sir Robyn’s tower on the shores of the Lone Sea!
- But first, an aside in service of their next big trip. They order a strange vessel constructed - a ship with skeleton legs that they intend to use as an amphibious vehicle to take them all the way to Dwimmermount.

- The work begins, and the gang head out into the wastes!

--- Pedals to the Metal

- As luck would have it, it’s a nice clear day as they set off into the scoured lands! Jeremy Wizard drives the steed - a horrific spider-like horse skeleton - and pulls the wagon which features two big glaring eyes through which Japhet & Hirsch can view their progress.
- Most of the party stay within the relatively comfortable wagon, while Red rides on top with her rifle at the ready. Jeremy sets a rapid pace, the rugged trail and clear day making it an easy ride.

- They soon reach the main road towards Salisburgh and drive onwards, keeping up the pace. As Kink hives into view in the distance they begin to debate whether to blast through or just drive around. Last time they were here they met demons, after all.
- They compromise by skirting round the outskirts of town… only to remember that Kink is built over a river and has the only bridge for miles. Into town it is, then!

--- Crabs and People
- They cautiously rumble through the streets, seeing movement out of the corner of their eyes down alleyways and between houses. Crabs scuttling out of sight… or is it people?
- They approach the bridge and see that it’s got a load of stoneshell crabs on it, along with a bunch of oddly-attired people. They have big fake pincers on their hands and wiggly fake antennae on their heads, devices they seem to use to communicate with the crabs!
- Red knows some crab-language and uses it to try and get over the bridge, but her words are offensive! After a minor altercation, and a promise that they won’t come back, one of the crab-communicator men persuades the crabbos to let the wagon through. Phew!

--- Old Friends
- They roll onwards, making good use of the long summer daylight. They crunch through some crystals (Jeremy being told to “drive! drive!” out of what can only be dragon-sign), roll past the lovely-looking Samuel who they leave in the dust since he’s a literal demon, and finally stop for the night by the side of the road a mile onwards.
- Red finds a small outcrop of frazzlejack - shallot-like bulbs that grow near fallen angel metal - as she sets up camp. Thoughts turn to food - they didn’t bring much beyond some iron rations Jeremy has stashed away. Better than nothing!
- They settle down for the night, but during Beepbox’s watch he hears a yell! In the pale moonlight he sees a familiar face - Gifflewim! He pelts over the crest of a low hill towards the wagon, umbrella held aloft, chased by a whole lot of stoneshell crabs!
- Beepbox fires a beam rifle warning shot and the crabs turn and flee back from whence they came.
- All the noise has woken the rest of the party, who emerge from their beds to greet the weirdo merchant Elf. Jeremy trades back the Snels USB and some astroturf to get his soul back. Red trades her choker - the only thing she’s ever really owned from Sir Robyn - in exchange for some future boon. Gifflewim gives her one of his coins, which he’s circumspect about giving away these days.
- He agrees to stick with the party if they can drop him off at the camp up the road, they’re completely useless survivalists and easily grifted which is right up his alley.

--- Life Party
- Dawn breaks and the day opens to what looks to be an absolute scorcher. Gifflewim’s umbrella handily ensures that the nearby area has a light summer sprinkle of rain instead, so they head up north to this bad survivalist camp.
- They arrive in good time and see for themselves the effect that the Dharga has had on the local area. If anything, there’s now too much life around here. The sunburnt limbs of the great flesh-tree of Dharga stretch out from the diamond dino-dome, dripping and dropping big blobs of fat flesh that roll down to the lush and lurid sea of life below.
- They ask one of the locals what the fuck this is all about and they say they’re surviving here due to the gifts of the Dharga, feasting upon its off-cuts. A cry goes up from the village as they see a great hairy orb drop from the armpit of a tree-limb and roll across the plains towards them, apparently under its own power. It rips through a few tents as it rumbles to a halt in the village and the locals gather round to shave it, eat it and/or milk it.
- The local they were talking to goes to eat some too, and they see that there’s a horrible burbling second face on the back of their head. Clearly the price of easy life is at least a little bit of mutation...
- Gifflewim recommends that the party not go through there up to Salisburgh - it’s not in a good way as they can see. Instead they should probably off-road it towards the marshes and take up the trail again there.
- Poison Phil takes a rifle from the hands of a man who seems to be mutating into a puddle of flesh and gets on the wagon. It’s time to move on!

--- Heatstroke
- They roll on, heading south-west as per Gifflewim’s recommendation. It’s still really fucking hot,  and without the magic umbrella the heat really starts getting to people. Red is especially affected in her heavy armour. After a few hours of this Jeremy stops the cart - there’s got to be something they can do! He tries out a few runes until he makes an air conditioner for inside the wagon. Much better!
- Jeremy takes them further at a very slow rate to avoid crashing - they’re rumbling over rough terrain now. Red jumps out to get a drink of water as Jeremy steers them past a thin stream and gets a horrible shock when she looks into the depths and sees a faceless face staring back! They move swiftly on.

- They continue through an area rippled like dunes and veined with cracks like shattered glass and settle down as the day turns to dusk.

--- Woodsmoke
- Jeremy Wizard smells woodsmoke during his watch that night and, intrigued, follows it. Amidst swirling woodsmoke he sees a house on stilts and approaches it. A young woman’s voice calls out to him, and he sees her waving from the doorway. He turns and flees back through the smoke, but he can’t find his way out! He’s trapped! He -
-
- He opens his eyes and sees the rest of the party standing around him. Some watchman! But why does he smell of woodsmoke?
- He groggily looks around the campsite - all perfectly fine. Raindrops begin to fall from fat grey clouds overhead. The heatwave has been broken by a summer storm!
- Next time… do they brave the rain on the way to Sir Robyn’s tower?

Total: 7000 exp

Expeditions:
- Expedition Begun!: 500 exp
- Change of Plans: 100 exp
Total: 600 exp

Roles:
Remembrancer: Charles (100 exp)
Triage: Timothy (100 exp)
Vanguard: Ollie (100 exp)
Expedition Leader: George (100 exp)
Cartographer: George (100 exp)
Quartermaster: Ollie (100 exp)
Chef: Izzy (100 exp)
Paymaster: Charles (100 exp)

OOC Bonuses:
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 149033 (Level MAX)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 127133 (Level MAX)

- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 7 Magic-User: 97182 (Level up at 144000)

- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 7 Cleric of the New Eden: 78099 (Level up at 112000)

- George / Poison Phil, Level 2 Fighter: 3121 (Level up at 4000)

Level Up! +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +backstory!

Session 257 - Chasing the Crystal Dragon

After leaving the dangerous high level zone of the Dino-Dome the party find themselves on a nice, relaxing trip back to - A DRAGON?!

I'm telling you, these things always show up when Tom turns up for the first time in a while!

And on top of that, another rare encounter! This one with Gifflewim, back once again!

How very exciting!

Session 257 - Chasing the Crystal Dragon

Date:

February. 15 years after the End.

New Characters:
- Rivière, a death cultist Necromancer who immediately swore himself to Drake Blackthorn’s service. Survival through death!

New Backstory:
- Nobody hubristically challenged a god-like being and was punished terribly for it. At-will, force a creature to prioritise you.
- Drake Blackthorn was terribly overweight for a time due to a very calorific concoction he made in his lab. +1 AC for ten minutes after downing alcohol.
- Jeremy Wizard has a crush on Red after having her take him under her wing. It’s a seeeecret crush though, especially since Red has the emotional intelligence of a wooden spoon. If your crush would be damaged in combat, you can jump in the way and take double the damage instead.

Events:

--- The Road Ahead
- It’s time to leave Enoch and head across the snowy wastes to New Moondin - taking the party’s vast supplies of iron rations to people who’ll actually appreciate them. It’s at least a couple of days travel though, and gods know what happened to their off-road wagons after Dargo ascended.
- Thankfully they’ve got a fair bit of social capital after giving their dinosaur meat to the people of Enoch, so they get them to bodge together a wagon! Between that and the recently reclaimed Skele-bike from the local mass graves, they’re in business!
- The plan is to take a wagon-load of iron rations to New Moondin, cash them in for wagon money, then schlep it back to Enoch for the rest. Pearl promises to keep the rations safe - the people of Enoch are tired of iron rations anyway.

--- Crystal Disaster
- They make good time on the actual real roads! Turns out wagons are meant to travel on roads, not jounce through thick jungle! Who knew! It’s still winter so the days are short, but thankfully Andromeda is happy to take a shift as the vampire night-driver.
- They reach a crossroads and turn south towards Kink, following an old map from before the Apocalypse. All goes well until Andromeda hears a shattering crunching sound as if they’re rolling over broken glass! She looks down and sees icy crystalline structures growing around the wheels, slowing them down!
- She yells to the others for help and they emerge from the cabin, trying to get the ice off with heat runes and chipping away at the axle, but it’s to no avail. The ice is actually crystal! Andromeda has a horrifying realisation just as Jeremy Wizard points overhead! It’s a crystal dragon, drifting in from above, heralded by sweet crystal chimes!

- Andromeda decouples the skele-bike and does some burnouts to stop it locking up, Jeremy dives into the wagon, and the dragon crackles past overhead.
- There is a moment as it seems to have just flown past… then the barrage of crystal shards hits! The jagged razor-edged crystals pepper the wagon, scything through the roof and tearing through the people within! Drake Blackthorn loses some fingers and Rivière takes massive tearing damage that shatters his collarbone. Worse - the breath has left behind swarms of whirring sharp minions that seek to finish the job!
- Andromeda screeches round in the direction of the dragon, guns the bike, then blasts out of her armour in bat form! She zooms up as fast as her wings can carry her, shifts back into naked vampire form, and bites its crystal hide! It initially throws her off, but she recovers and sends it rolling off into the near distance!
- Drake patches up his bleeding and makes a dash for the skele-bike with Nobody, while Jeremy Wizard tries to clear out the sharp minions with a grenade throw! The grenade bounces off the inside of the window frame and Jeremy looks at it with horror as it explodes! Jeremy and Rivière are blasted out of the wagon! Jeremy straight up at an angle, Rivière out the window.
- Rivière falls through the air, sharp minions swirling and twirling to catch him as he flies. With the last of his strength he casts Dig Grave - but the spell goes awry and a Chaos Burst is released. The grave appears beneath him…

- Rivière’s heart explodes in his chest and he thumps into the grave like a sack of meat.

- BUT! The Chaos Burst was merely one of temporary death! He will arise in 24 hours in this place in the same condition he was in when he died! The true power of the death cultist, life-in-death!

- The dragon turns in a lazy circle, Andromeda still clinging to its back, and swoops in for another pass. Nobody picks the bike back up and hops on the back so that Drake can drive.
- Drake is sliced by the sharp whirring swarms and briefly passes out, but Andromeda shoots a ranged lightning-heal from above! To her dismay it passes through the dragon without harming it, but at least Drake is back up and on the bike! The display of Clerical magic triggers something in Nobody and he zaps a second lightning-heal towards the still-airborne Jeremy Wizard, destroying some shard-swarms on the way!
- Drake revs the necro-bike and Nobody is suddenly smacked from behind by a huge lump of flesh. It wraps around him and, horrified, he sees its face - it’s Jeremy Wizard! He turned into flesh-goop form to survive the fall, and to fit on the bike!
- Perturbed but somehow ok with this, Nobody turns in his seat and takes out the Mag-Cannon. He fires it up at the dragon, hoping to scare it off, and suddenly realises that he is the one who’s scared! The dragon swooping down on him is scary as fuck! He’s gonna die!
- Thankfully Drake is fucking fast, and Andromeda is slowing down the incoming dragon. Drake guns the necro-bike and they’re away! Nobody sprays the wagon, and the remaining swarms of crystal minions, with his uzi as they escape.

- Andromeda sees they’ve got away and turns into gas form. The confused dragon circles a few times then flies off, leaving Andromeda to drift down after the rest of the party. An excellent escape!

--- Return to Kink
- After several hours the skelebike rolls up into Kink with no additional problems, except for the time when Jeremy Wizard’s body popped back into shape. Andromeda turns up soon after, having travelled by wolf form.
- They break into the basement that the lust demon used to live in and those who need to sleep do so. Andromeda pokes around the town, finding a stonemason’s with some statues in it. She heads  back to the wagon by bike and picks it up along with her somewhat rain-eaten armour. Thankfully the dragon is gone, along with its crystal environmental effects.

--- So Close to Home
- In the morning there’s a bit of a delay as Drake fixes up everyone’s stuff, repairing armour and fixing the wagon. It really took a beating! He also slaps together some shields from various detritus in the dead village, and constructs replacement fingers for those he lost to the dragon’s crystal breath.
- They ride back to New Moondin, wary for dragons again. They pass by a grouping of angels with not much fuss, Nobody staying in front of the Chaotic people to foil alignment scans, and take the winding turn up through the hills to New Moondin.
- They pass through the edge of the Storm Shell for the first time in months! The air inside is cleaner, the acid rain less acidic. It doesn’t feel quite as good as it used to though - the rain’s just a little bit more itchy than it used to be.

--- Gifflewim

- As they cross the familiar bridge across the deep gorge to New Moondin, they hear some haunting bassoon music drifting through the rain. It’s Gifflewim! Everyone’s favourite arguably-legit semi-trustworthy merchant friend!

- He gives them the latest - Styx is in control of New Moondin, the Brotherhood have fled and are lying low in Prepperton, and the Necromancers have teamed up with Singular Thay somewhere in the Fallow. It’s a real pickle.
- Trading ensues. He gives Jeremy the Snels Virus in exchange for his soul. To get his soul back Gifflewim will take a dragon heart. Nobody asks for a shortcut to Prepperton in exchange for a secret. That secret - he’s been Damnation Snels all along! Except slightly younger! And probably from the Matrix we don’t know!
- Andromeda trades the jar of her own vampire grave dirt to Gifflewim. He gives everyone cool black cloaks and a couple of glowing gems - one takes them to Prepperton, the other takes them to the Underhive beneath New Moondin. The black cloaks will protect them during the teleport, it’s dangerous otherwise.
- They do this now, triggering the Prepperton stone and vanishing in a puff of darkness!
- They emerge from a bonfire in the middle of Prepperton, shocking the gathered populace! They step out of the flames and Snels’ hood falls down, revealing his face! A number of people fall to their knees - Damnation Snels! Returned from the dead as was prophesied!

Total: 5000 exp

Team Bonus:

- Balls to the Wall bonus
- Best of Intentions bonus
- Better Part of Valour bonus
- Classic Charles bonus
- Dramatic Battle bonus
- Dramatic Rescue bonus
- Dramatic Chase bonus
- Dramatic Escape bonus
- Fame bonus
- Hard Bargain bonus
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus
- Long Deliberation bonus
- Ludicrous Gore bonus
- Mad Inventor bonus
- Michael Bay bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus

Total: 850 exp

Individual Bonus:

- Chronicler (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Expedition Leader (George / Damnation Snels - 100 exp)
- Cartographer (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Paymaster (Tom / Rivière - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Tom / Rivière - 100 exp)

- Vanguard (Russell / Drake Blackthorn - 100 exp)
- Chef (George / Damnation Snels - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Tom, Charles - 500 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d’Arte bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Rivière, Drake - 100 exp ea.)

Serious Injuries:
- Drake Blackthorn lost some fingers.
- Rivière has a broken collarbone. Recovery time: 1d6+6 weeks.

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 7 Andromedan Vampire: 139554 (Level up at 144000)

- George / Damnation Snels, Level 6 Born Again Barbarian: 34392 (Level up at 64000)

- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 5 Magic-User: 24810 (Level up at 36000)

- Russell / Drake Blackthorn, Level 3 Specialist: 4510 (Level up at 6000)

- Tom / Rivière, Level 1 Necromancer: 1470 (Level up at 2250)

Session 214 - Last March to Armageddon

Now! This is it! The last march of the dragons, and the battle for the fate of the world!

Everything comes to a head now, multiple forces clashing to take down the Tentacle and allow Ninhursag to dive in and deliver its poisonous payload!

POWERLAD achieves the ultimate power of the dragon! Snels discovers he's in a den of demons! Capitano Romantico is denied drugs! Sophia the Elf learns to drive!

Powerlad walks into the Risen HQ and speaks to the receptionist, "Hello, I'm looking for a bone?" "What a coincidence, so am I" she smiled from Powerlad and his Boney lass

- Carter's Fiction Fanatic

Session 214 - Last March to Armageddon

Campaign Date:

Tuesday, 24th June, 1601

Moon Phase: Third Quarter

Zenith: Minerva

Zodiac: Gemini

New Backstory:
- Sophia, the new Elf who is allegedly POWERLAD’s time-displaced progeny, had gained a position of prestige and power yet was betrayed, possibly by her gang of urchins? (+1 Con)

Treasure and Equipment:

- Adventurer’s Journal - detailed notes on the barrowmaze and counts as Book #152 - The Nature of Undeath (200 exp)
- Grey-green putty can mimic an object it’s smooshed over for an hour before reverting to putty form.
- A key to the Barrowmaze (100 exp)
- Marble of Ice-8, transforms a 20’ sphere of water into permanent ice.
Total: 300 exp

Enemies Defeated:

-

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- First party to enter New Moondin (500 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Events:

--- March Through the Dark
- In the pearly glow of POWERLAD’s witch-light, within a ossuary of ordered bone in the empty brain-case of a vast undead dragon, POWERLAD and Snels sleep. The whir of wings and discordant voices does little to breach their slumber. (50 exp)
- As they rest, the new Elf-child Sophia explores the dragon’s throat. The bones of a thousand thousand human skeletons have knitted around the dragon’s frame, forming grim grinning parodies of muscle and flesh. (50 exp)
- She travels down the throat, torch in hand, skeletons quiescent, and in the sepulchral clanking hollow of the dragon’s cavernous stomach she finds many abandoned things. (50 exp)
- The corpse of an adventurer yields a diary with detailed notes on the Barrowmaze and the nature of Undeath, another skeleton holds a now-useless key. Of keen interest are a ball of strange putty and a marble of cold ice in a small vial. (50 exp)
- She returns to the dragon’s skull, well satisfied. (50 exp)

--- Alongside the Earth Dragon
- POWERLAD and Snels awaken at dawn. The group find their dragon striding parallel to Ninhursag, mere miles away, and steadily closing in! (50 exp)
- From here they can see the domes of a town upon Ninhursag’s back between its wings - a new Moondin? - and the winged drakencult that swoop around its head and the poison-canister slung by great chains beneath its neck. (50 exp)
- As the sun rises, a small group of drakencult glide in to investigate this bone dragon that appeared overnight. POWERLAD flies up to the top of the skull to greet them. (50 exp)
- Their leader is Katsin, a gogamogic drakencultist! She’s ecstatic to meet POWERLAD - she’s both a fan of his books and a fan of his high priesthood! (50 exp)
- She’s real into the POWERLAD fandom and begins peppering POWERLAD with questions about plot holes, character inconsistencies, and unsatisfactorily resolved plot lines. The others look on in confusion, while POWERLAD does his best to answer them. (50 exp)
- They compare apocalypse plans, and POWERLAD reveals that he’s planning to go nova if shit goes down. Sophia looks sad. (50 exp)

- Basic idea - protect Ninhursag as it gets to the tentacle, tears a hole into it, then plummet down the hollow centre of the tentacle to deliver the omnipoison to the core. The party’s well-received upgrade is to clad Ninhursag in the undead dragon’s bones like armour! (50 exp)

--- Ride the Dragon
- With the help of Katsin and her squad, the party fly across the gap between the dragons and land in the town atop the dragon’s back! It’s a new Moondin alright, mostly made up of stone domes, although Japhet & Hirsch’s eye-tower managed to make it up here! (50 exp)
- Yes, it seems that everyone’s favourite demons and cultists from Moondin made it up to Ninhursag’s back. It’s much safer from the bugs and Dead up here, even though everyone knows they’ll need to drop off the dragon before it dives into the Earth. (50 exp)

- The stone homes are enmeshed in webs, giant spider-kids constantly scuttle past, carrying messages and items and repairing the web where it’s eaten away by NInhursag’s poisonous fumes. The entrances to the buildings are crammed with webs and Styx-brand filter-plants to keep the worst of the poison at bay. (50 exp)
- Also here is… Capitano Romantico. A new Romantico with a piratical streak who is conveniently already signed up to NInhursag’s Drakencult. The idea of nicknaming them the “Ninnies” is met with outrage from POWERLAD (50 exp)
- The party splits up to check in with various people and get ready for what seems to be building up to a final battle for the fate of the world. (50 exp)

--- Japhet and Hirsch scare Snels

- Snels wanders the shifting streets of New Moondin, searching blindly for anyone “near death” and shouting about eyes. Unfortunately only the strong have survived so far, and the populace is tough. They haven’t come this far to die now! (50 exp)
- His talk of eyes gets him directed to a tower of eyes, though of course Snels cannot see them. He smells… bird? And he can almost taste the alternating waves of pride and gluttony. (50 exp)
- A snooty voice greets him, mocking his blind prophet routine, then lets him inside. His brother, on his back, recites psalm 91:4. Snels lays a hand on his sword as he stumbles up the steps into an interior that smells of spice and roasting meat. (50 exp)
- A pair of voices speak to him, clearly amused by this blind prophet’s predicament. He mumbles something about his hatred for demons and, laughing, they tell him that they are indeed a demon! (50 exp)
- Snels goes into a rage and runs at them… into a wall. He gets thrown out of the tower by the bird butler and mocked by passers-by. (50 exp)

--- Julgoor’s got the goods

- POWERLAD arrives at the Honey Healing 4 U Megastore to see Julgoor. The place is large, but the actual ship is small. Like an Argos. Spiderkids make a whooshing sound as they open the sliding front doors. (50 exp)
- Julgoor himself is behind the counter, and he seems much healthier than when they last saw him. He has extra arms, and extra faces like a Hindu god. He’s excited to see POWERLAD, and offers him whatever he wants from the warehouse! (50 exp)

- He’s got the usual stuff, as well as some less common substances like Wave, Sight, and the ubiquitous Blood Honey. All on the house, of course. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD mentions that he’s got a friend who sweats Wave, and Julgoor asks if she’d be up for coming in and sweating for an hour or so. Might as well ask! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD obtains a bunch of Notcoke, snorts a cheeky line, and turns around to head out… before Capitan Romantico storms in! (50 exp)
- He tries to buy drugs, but unfortunately drugs are now the currency of New Moondin. No use in gold any more really. Without funds, he angrily storms out and tries to yell a bad Yelp review into the sky. (50 exp)

--- The Arboretum
- Sophia enters the Arboretum, a huge stone sphere that was originally the one created for Galaxy Johnson’s funeral way back when. The interior is packed with filter-plants, and she is soon discovered by the new Crystal Drakencult leader. (50 exp)
- Her name is Krystal Shattersby, and she is very mean. She insults Sophia and extorts a cookie from her before listening to what she has to say and calling for Stones. (50 exp)
- They chat about the plants and POWERLAD  for a bit before she starts to cry and he awkwardly shuffles off, leaving her alone in the Arboretum. (50 exp)
- Sophia wanders around a bit, then hides when the new Magman cult leader, Bernard Boris Quincy-Reynolds, looks around for her. (50 exp)
- She avoids him, thinking him creepy, and heads out into New Moondin’s main square. (50 exp)

--- POWERLAD smashes a Necromancer

- POWERLAD visits the Rebel Dead HQ in search of an undead to punch and smash, since killing something that lives but doesn’t breathe is Ninhursag’s thing. (50 exp)
- He’s a little bit coked up, and the lithe black-hooded secretary has had enough requests to “borrow” a skeleton in the past few months that she denies any drakencultist from smashing one and ruining the dwindling merchandise. (50 exp)
- She is, however, a fan… notcoked up as he us, POWERLAD makes a rash decision when she offers to let him smash something else… (50 exp)

- They enter a back room, and great thuds soon begin shaking the desk. A legless dictation-skeleton tumbles and shatters on the floor. That counts! (50 exp)
- A Turn or two later POWERLAD emerges from the staff only door, while the secretary stumbles over to her chair and sits back down. She tries to pat down her hair that’s standing up with static, and sparks flutter from her fingertips. She winks at POWERLAD and smiles lazily, biting her lip. (50 exp)

--- POWERLAD attains ultimate dragon power
- The party meet up again in the main square, and head into the drakencult’s huge stone arboretum. (50 exp)

- POWERLAD is there, meeting up with his Gogamogic drakencult! They are all huge muscly bodybuilder types! (50 exp)

- He meets up with drakencult leader, Garlock Beendigung, who is VERY LOUD! A crowd has gathered to see POWERLAD as he declares the new plan - New Moondin will be dropped here, the Dragon will be encased in Bone Armour, and they will take Ninhursag to the tentacle and destroy it forevermore! (50 exp)

- Also, if necessary, POWERLAD will become a dragon to clear the path. Good news, this is the plan of the other high priests! They're going to apotheosise and defend Ninhursag during its march. (50 exp)

- Garlock goes to Ninhursag's head to dream peace into it, calming it so it won't freak out when the bone dragon becomes its armour. (50 exp)

- POWERLAD heads out to the main square outside the arboretum, seeing the stone spheres beginning to get lashed to plants and webs ready to be dropped. He kneels down to pray. (50 exp)
- With a great surge of energy, Ninhursag grants POWERLAD the final level of power! Drakencult level 12 - Apotheosis Ultimate - the ability to become an Elemental Dragon at will! (50 exp)

--- Last March to Armageddon

- POWERLAD and the other High Priests of the Drakencult gather upon the broad scaly head of Ninhursag, wind whipping through POWERLAD’s golden hair. They see Garlock who meditates upon the great Earth Rune upon its forehead. (50 exp)

- Snels the Blind Prophet is with them, contemplating the dark future he’s foreseen. He is shirtless, revealing his body covered in gnarly crucifix tattoos. (50 exp)

- Before them, writhing tall and cancerous, is the Prime Tentacle. It is sick, gobbets of flesh falling from its flanks, imperfect regeneration surrounding it with flailing half-formed limbs. Fat maggots dribble from it like rain. (50 exp)
- In the sky close by, out of the Tentacle’s reach, Ereshkigal looms. It is surrounded by winged shapes, the purple-black gravity well above its open mouth forming a swirling stormcloud of stolen weather. (50 exp)

- Above, full and pale and nightmarishly close, the moon looms grotesquely above the planet. Descending to reunite with the planet after aeons of separation. (50 exp)
- Behind them, New Moondin drops from Ninhursag’s back by web and by vine and by crystalline wing, dangling from its flanks and dropping when the Dragon passes over the dead town of Underall. (50 exp)
- Underall is a perfect place to hide a last bastion of humanity. They find it an empty last bastion of survivalists, hidden in the hills. They are all dead now, taken by Locusts in the night, but their thick walls and ample supplies will see the citizens of New Moondin through the weeks and months to come. (50 exp)
- Ninhursag strides onwards, the bone dragon coming alongside. The priests keep the Apocalypse Dragon’s focus on the tentacle as the bones and skeleton-flesh of the bone dragon crawl over like armour. The bone dragon’s jaws are hinged open, cradling the head of Ninhursag like a snake. (50 exp)

- Cryus-RJ stands atop the bone dragon’s skull, holding the golden monstrance aloft. The Ossuary of All Bones is encased within the empty braincase - the head of Ninhursag is now the central headquarters for two armies. (50 ex)
- Swinging below Ninhursag’s neck is the vast hollow stone filled with omnipoison - the poison that can destroy Shub-Niggurath forever. The poison-researchers work to improve it even now. (50 exp)
- And far below on the surface of the Earth, speeding away unnoticed against the scale of the dragons merging above, Sophia and Capitano Romantico slip off in a Guber towards Fortress-City Fate. (50 exp)
- They speed over the dying land. As they get closer to the walking city they see fast shapes speeding towards them - a shining army in burnished armour, mounted on Gubers. (50 exp)
- The figures on board salute as they whoosh past towards the final battle, armed with guns and with runes and with lances, surging towards the End War to decide the fate of the world. (50 exp)

Total: 2900 exp

Misc:

- Coitus boners (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Pacifism bonus (500 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Carter / Sepulchre - 100 exp)

- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Sepulchre - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp) - Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Guard (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp) - Tracker (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)- Art Attack (Carter, Jorjj, Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d’Arte (Jjj’j - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Charles - 500 exp ea.)

Active Businesses:

- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)

--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)

--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:

-

Death Toll and Injuries:

-

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 162048 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 12 (-60% exp) 

- George / Oliver Snels, Level 5 Barbarian: 28946 (Level up at 32000)

- Charles, ??? Romantica, Level 5 Barbarian: 17882 (Level up at 32000)

- Carter / Sophia, Level 2 Elf (Brackenfrau): 5417 (Level up at 6000)

Absent or Retired:
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 53712 (Level up at 72000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp) 
- Timothy / Galaxy RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 42488 (Level up at 72000)
- James / Abhor Global, Level 6 Extras: 25443 (Level up at 48000)
- (Styx's Disciples)
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)  
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)   
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)

-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)