Retrospective 11 - They Finally Escape from the Fucking Vagina Dungeon

So I quite liked Slaughtergrid but it's a real fucking grind, man. Especially when one of the players insists on mapping the place rather than trying to escape.

But phew! They escaped! Thank fuck for that!

Henry shows up, who's still around. He wanted to be a Bard! Too bad they suck.
He changed character to something more effective after a while! He also shows up to heaps of non-dnd events, and eventually got hazed into the secretive Established Players Council.

Tom retires Eleyn now that she's fucked up and in the body of a vagina demon monster, precluding her from leveling up ever again. Poor thing.
That I get to put her in the retired characters list as "Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy" is brilliant. She'll get brought back for one final mission in a few months.

We tend to have too many players to take on newbies now, which is fine. It's a big ol' group though!


Session 110 ends with the players staging yet ANOTHER assault on Mt Deathfrost. Luckily they'll get waylaid by Halloween Gimmick Dungeons before they ascend the mountain to their inevitable doom.
Was that a spoiler?

We also see just how powerful a high level Necromancer can be! Automatic subjugation of low level Dead is an absolute monster of an ability, good thing I made it a spell instead of an intrinsic ability to bring it in line with Turn Undead.
I also find that having Last Breath as a necessary component of subjugating and controlling the dead is a real nice limitation all on its own. Things get a little hairy there when Sophia starts running out of the ol' death juice.

Having them locked in a dungeon for a few months means I got to advance the timeline a fair bit.
Peace with the Dead, Demons in control of Dwimmermount, religious infighting, and all sorts of other goodness. Shit's legit.

Tom even made a map of the campaign's main cathedral for me!

Mini Reviews:

Slaughtergrid
Fourteen sessions of adventure through this place. By the end of it, the place felt like home.
I kept the gold rewards as-is, which meant that it was a place where everyone leveled up a whole lot of times before emerging reborn.
Lots of zany shit down here. I had the final room (which has a ziggurat which can be opened to reach deeper levels that YOU must create) actually lead to the inside of the head of the Slaughtergrid mecha itself. Fueled by Azoth from Dwimmermount, a hook to get them to delve that dark place so they could fuel up their murder machine, but they ended up not taking that particular bait!

Having rebirth as an intrinsic part of the dungeon is quite nice because you can be a reaaaaal dick with murdering people and feel zero guilt. They'll be back up soon enough, after all!

Session 110 - Journey to Death Mountain

After much admin, Fortress-City Fate is left behind on tenuous terms!
And another fortress is approached... a black fortress squatting grotesquely atop a black mountain. Considering Sophia can just Subjugate dead things now, it's probably not going to be a major issue to knock the whole thing over... right?

See you... tomorrow!

Sophia astride her new steed, by me.

Seraph Dawnstride, by Tom

The Church of Nine Corners, kindly also illustrated by Tom because I didn't have a map ready oooop.

Session 110 - Journey to Death Mountain

Campaign Date:

Sunday, 14 March, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Pisces

New Characters:
- Warren's Elf, a thug too weak to be particularly effective at his job.

Enemies Defeated:

- 1 Necromancer Commander, fled steedless (75 exp)
- A skeletal steed that breathes ghosts, subjugated (75 exp)
- 5 zombies, slain (125 exp)
- 7 skeletons, slain (125 exp)
Total: 400 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- A Bishop's Half-Mitre
- A skeletal steed that breathes ghosts!
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- First party to visit the Church of Nine Corners (100 exp)
Total: 100 expNew Backstory:- Gorund was to be clapped in irons for petty theft by a local magistrate! He managed to talk his way out of it with characteristic charisma and charm. (Once per session, de-escalate a verbal confrontation.)
- All of Stabbington's belongings were washed away in a terrible flood! Luckily he managed to save one thing - the original Tomb Busters business card woodcut. (Once per session, get something back that was lost or broken by some means)Events:
- First, a ton of admin! (50 exp)

- Businesses are rolled for! (50 exp)
- Tomb Busters' profits have stagnated despite Stabbington's best efforts at advertising. He pours in more cash, the janitor's closet with Tomb Busters scrawled on a piece of paper afixed to the door gets a proper sign. (50 exp)
- F.I.E.N.D.S. loses a bunch of money after test audiences see through crap ratman costume disguises! (50 exp)
- Anvil, Mining & Craft, Inc makes a bunch of profit due to Jain's new pay-to-delve dungeon scheme. (50 exp)
- Those absent for Carousing make their rolls! Jain and Stabbington had good times. (50 exp)
- Various people put money in the bank. Admin! (50 exp)
- Guido is coated in silver and is thus allegedly a holy relic, not a horrible Undead.
- Finally, the party decide to head to the Church of Nine Corners to see what's going on with the Nonanist faith at the moment. (50 exp)
- It's fucking chaos! Rowdy crowds have gathered in the plaza to watch a flurry of often-violent debates between the various splintering factions of Nonanist! (50 exp)
- A man in a funny hat atop the cathedral balcony tries to calm down the crowds, to no avail! (50 exp)
- The party, along with temporary Eleyn-replacement Seraph, barge their way into the cathedral and demand to see the Archbishop of Fate! He's not in, surprisingly. (50 exp)
- After questioning the barely helpful and much overwhelmed priest, Seraph goes in for the kill! For some reason! Luckily the others stop her, with Stabbington strongarming the priest into a person security contract. (50 exp)
- The gang decide to go up and question the guy on the balcony, so force their way upstairs and question him. He was a Nonanist before the Fated King split the Loegrian faith, so is more inclined to treat Seraph with respect. (50 exp)
- He tells them that the Fated King has been meeting with Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus, the Vampire King, and suspects that's why the King's newest iteration has turned to Denialism. (50 exp)
- The bishop is not killed, though his hat is stolen and many cards are thrown from the balcony. The party leave the cathedral, with Seraph proclaiming that the next time the party return the Vampire King will have been slain! (50 exp)
- They leave the city, collect minions, and head out towards Mt Death Frost and the black fortress squatting atop it. (50 exp)
- On the way, they run into a Cleric-led detachment of the Loegrian Army patrolling the roads. Gorund uses his mighty charisma and stolen hat to convince the Cleric that he is, in fact, a Bishop and worthy of protection. (50 exp)
- With the detachment in tow, the group continue! At the foot of Mt Death Frost they come across a battle! (50 exp)
- It's another detachment of the Army, fighting a host of the Undead! The Necromancer sits astride a skeletal steed that breathes ghosts! The detachment is led by a dude with a dank-as-shit musket setup, a fork rest on his horse's head allows him to snipe! (50 exp)
- The Necromancer is attempting to get the Army detachment to stand down, saying that the Fated King has called a ceasefire with the Undead. This unbelievable claim was, of course, disbelieved. (50 exp)

- With the support of the party and a whole other detachment, the Dead are swiftly dispatched. The musket-wielding commander is shot off his horse but luckily Dr Grijze is on hand to balance his humours! (50 exp)
- With his minions being destroyed all around him, the Necromancer turns his steed and rides back towards the mountain... but Sophia is quick with a Last Breath and subjugates the horse! (50 exp)
- The horse halts in its tracks, throwing the Necromancer to the ground! He flees up the mountain, limping, and Sophia is now the proud owner of a motherfucking skeleton horse. POWERMAN is somewhat jealous... and scared of what his wife might become. (50 exp)

Total: 1450 exp

Misc:
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Master of Disguise bonus (50 exp)- Pitched Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom's next character - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Art bonus (Tom's next character - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Tom's next character - 100 exp)
- Delicious Admin bonus (All present - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer bonus (Stabbington, Gorund, Dr Grijze, Jain Doe - 100 exp ea.) 

Total: 450 exp + bonusesRumours:
- There are plenty of Loegrian priests who are refusing to deny the Nine. There are frequent heated debates at the Church of Nine Corners.

- The demons have taken Dwimmermount and become more powerful than ever before.

- Wizzbang Will has got some good shit this week. Says he's got it in from Qelong in the far east.

- The Wild inventoria's selling some crazy anti-dead stuff! Their new firethrower is an absolute beast!

- The dark tunnels below the city contain more than vagrants and rats, the Resurrection Engine they use to raise the dead is down there too.

- Flower's Bower of Power is run by a witch! You can tell by the weird incense she uses.

- The King's made peace with the Dead. First denying the Nine… now this. He's betrayed all of Loegria!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 67045 (Level up at 128000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 52129 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 48405 (Level up at 56000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40594 (Level up at 70400)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 35986 (Level up at 36000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 11889 (Level up at 16000)

-- Guido, Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
Henry / Gorund, Level 3 Specialist: 5086 (Level up at 6000)Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2979 (Level up at 3500)James / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 453 (Level up at 1500)
Warren / Warren's Elf, Level 1 Elf (Flitting Gad): 353 (Level up at 3000)

Absent or Retired:
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 23851 (Level up at 24000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 73553 (Level up at 128000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 24409 (Level up at 35200)
Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 109 - Boozes and Cruises

Delicious admin! Buying things! Fresh air! Sailing! Carousing!
And finally having a fucking bath. Yea boy.






Art Attack from Tom in absentia! The child king and his vampire court against the second evil sun.

Charles sends this lovely image of everyone finally getting clean!

Charles also sends in a pictorial representation of Zan's belief system.

And Ollie presents a FULL COLOUR image of Lulu's wedding plans. It's a sad Barbarian wedding that doesn't involve at least ONE decapitation!


Finally, Lulu's hen party itinerary courtesy of Ratman. For posterity.


Session 109 - Boozes and Cruises

Campaign Date:

Saturday, 9 March, 1550
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Aquarius

Enemies Defeated:

- 14 shoddy dwarfs, fled after several were killed (70 exp)
- Escaped the Deadship (500 exp)
Total: 570 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- None! But plenty spent!
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Travelled 120 miles (400 exp)
- 3 random encounters (150 exp)
Total: 550 exp
New Backstory:- It is revealed that Stabbington's been harbouring a secret crush on Lulu for some time now. Tragically she is, of course, betrothed. (If Lulu would be damaged, Stabbington can jump in the way and take twice the damage instead).
- Lulu was tricked by her jealous twin sister into coming into the forest to see a rare arctic crocodile. She was shoved into a hole where she survived on bear meat after a bear fell into the hole with her. Her father found her three days later, admonished her for falling for such an obvious deception, and threw her back in! (If you fall, you can make a Climb check to grab onto the edge or convenient handhold part way down instead)
- Gorund's crops failed and he was starving to death. Luckily a leper holding a chunk of bread was passing by and his arm fell off! Gorund snatched it and gobbled it down. (Heal the maximum 6 HP when eating to heal)

New Fortunes:Gorund - "You will be separated from a companion, and be reuinted by a malfunctioning device".
Zan - "The size of your nose will be discussed".
Rat LeBlanc - "A plague will slay 10 000 bards and none will weep".
Lulu - "A spider will speak to you after tasting marmalade".
Sophia - "A woman will be cruel to you three times, and kind once"
Stabbington - "Drowning elves will beg you for mercy"
Events:
- The party, stinking and dirty and pale, reach the nearby town of Little Reaching. (50 exp)
- They repair gear and shop for a few travel necessities like a horse and cart and robes to disguise Rat LeBlanc and Guido (50 exp)
- The fortune teller in town is visited, and she gives out some fortunes ooOOooOooOoo. Lulu's is told for free for she is friend of gypsies. (50 exp)
- The party head out along the mountain roads. After half a day's travel, they see some mishapen dwarfs pouring blood on a statue a short way up the slope! (50 exp)
- The dwarfs see the party and seem to melt among the rocks, slingstones fly at the party! (50 exp)
- Guido sees one, marches up and slays it! Gorund sneaks up the slope and runs into one of them! Lulu kisses Stabbington ("Kiss me you mad fool!") then magic-ropes the statue down the slope and off the cliffside! A slingstone manages to knock Jumurak off the cliff and onto a ledge 20' down! (50 exp)
- The little dwarf dudes see their friend die and their morale breaks! Gorund questions the one he's tussling with before it flees, Ratman's rats nipping at his heels. (50 exp)
- The group continue to Gush and grab Lulu's boat. To the north, above the mountains, they see a baleful black orb rising against a blood red sky like a second sinister sun. Or they should have but I forgot to mention until later. (50 exp)
- The longship is loaded up with alcohol for the BOOZE CRUISE to Fortress City Fate! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Booze cruise begins! The Deeprush is huge, more like a thin sea than an actual river, and choked with mudbanks and small islands. (50 exp)
- A scuppered merchant vessel is seen beached on a mudbank. The drunken party jeer at it, then see everyone on deck is dead, then jeer some more and keep sailing. (50 exp)
- Later in the day, BONG! BONG! BONG! Massive bell on a ridiculously ornate temple ship rings out across the water! It sails alongside the party's longboat. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc is drunk and a horrible hated ratman. He keeps swinging his pestilent pus-covered rat penis in time with the bell. When a Loegrian Cleric in huge ornate armour comes out to investigate, he promises to show them his "holey place". (50 exp)
- Cleric mad. Cleric real mad. But he's mollified when the party throws the ratman overboard. Zan steps up and makes peace while lying his arse off. (50 exp)
- Some things are discovered. Since the party's been underground, the black sun has risen in the north and the Fated King has declared that the Nine Gods are false and begun attempts to turn the Loegrian church far more Denialist. People suspect he's been mind controlled during talks with the Vampire King. (50 exp)
- The temple ship departs. That evening as the longship approaches Fate a ghostly mist descends! Through it, sailing against the wind, an empty ship! (50 exp)
- Guido who has been placed on the front of the ship as a figurehead starts freaking out and saying IT'S CREWED BY GHOOOOSTS! (50 exp)
- Lulu is at the helm, turns hard to starboard to take the ship out of the way behind a large muddy island. Clips the bank and plows through. Phew! (50 exp)
- But no! The ghost ship plows right through the island! Scrubby trees fall over! Sophia breathes in some Last Breath, attempts to subjugate the ship! (50 exp)
- It is too big, but at least it's slowed. Lulu begins dumping flamethrower fuel behind the ship. Zan casts Heroism on Sophia so her Subjugate is more powerful... but it fails. (50 exp)
- Lulu lights the fuel, wreathing the ghost ship in smoke and flame, while Zan hits it with a Dispel Magic. Slowed if not stopped, the party speed off as fast as possible! (50 exp)
- Soon, as sun sets, they reach Fate. Parking up at some dodgy docks, they leave Guido and the amoebae behind and head in at dawn. (50 exp)
- Fortress-City Fate! Seat of power in Loegria! Home of the Fated King! ... Time to get fucked up. (50 exp)
- First things first - a wash. The party visit the public baths, and are ushered by disgusted attendants into a side room. They are hosed down with rosewater and their literally shitty clothes are separately laundered. (50 exp)
- Now clean for the first time in months, it's time to party! Lulu rolls the d30 for carousing - it's a 15 day bender! (50 exp)
- Zan gets caught up in a group of passing Termaxian ravers and goes off with them instead. The party splits but the party don't stop! (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc awakens in a gutter. Next to him is a remarkably unattractive woman who, nevertheless, reels back in horror and vomits when she sees she slept with a huge rat! She flees! (50 exp)
- Gorund gets lost, ends up punching a busker and getting his lute "enchanted" by a local shopkeeper with what the party assume is oregano. (50 exp)

- Various shops are found and items perused, much of which is unique to this city, and Rat LeBlanc decides to head off to pursue his acting career. (50 exp)

Total: 1450 exp

Misc:- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Chase bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Next to Godliness bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)- Shopping Spree bonus (50 exp)
- Split the (Hen) Party bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- Twelve Year Old on XBox Live bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Seraph, Zan, Lulu - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Backstory - 100 exp ea.)
- Snackbringer bonus (Gorund, Rat LeBlanc, Zan, Jumurak - 100 exp ea.)
- Lulu caroused! (Lulu - 26400 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc caroused! (Rat LeBlanc - 1760 exp)
- Gorund caroused! (Gorund - 1760 exp)
- Sophia caroused! (Sophia - 11550 exp)
- POWERMAN caroused! (POWERMAN - 11550 exp)
- Zan caroused! Twice! (Zan - 11440 exp)
- Jumurak caroused! (Jumurak - 3520 exp)

Total: 600 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- "Honest Bill's fallen on hard times of late, the King's messengers will only buy good, fast horses from the Whip and Bridle."

- "Gunman and Son have been turning a tidy profit with their breech-loading gun design, who knew firearms would be so effective against the Dead?"

- "Did you hear about the Raise gems they're bringing in from Moondin? They're as good as the real thing, and they're running out!"

- "More and more people have been going Underground lately. If you've got to leave there's barely nowhere else to go!"

- "Atrox Morbus might be scary and expensive, but the leech there is an expert on every disease and malady the world has ever seen!"

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None! Unless you count drunken injuries of which there are sure to be several.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 7 Barbarian: 73553 (Level up at 128000)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 66592 (Level up at 128000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 51776 (Level up at 72000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 47752 (Level up at 56000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 35633 (Level up at 36000)-- POWERMAN!, Level 4 POWERFIGHTER: 11762 (Level up at 16000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit!*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit!*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +Saves!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonJames / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 23851 (Level up at 24000)(James' Next Character) / Dr. Grijze van Held, Level 1 Specialist (Doctor): 0 (Level up at 1500)
Henry / Gorund, Level 3 Specialist: 4633 (Level up at 6000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to skills!
Absent or Retired:
Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2625 (Level up at 3500)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 24409 (Level up at 35200)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40141 (Level up at 70400)
Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsy
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 108 - Liberation Penetration

Finally! The body dungeon is escaped!
First entered in session 94, it's taken FOURTEEN sessions to finally get out.
You've been stuck in there for like four real months and at least a month in game. Crazy stuff!

For a breakdown of loot shared between party members, check out the Inventory pdf that Tom put together. Long story short, loot for all!

Anyway, good session, crazy stuff happened.
See you next week!


Session 108 - Liberation Penetration

Campaign Date:

Saturday, 21 February, 1550
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Aquarius

Enemies Defeated:

- The Progenitor, mind swapped into Eleyn's body and killed by its own minions (500 exp)
- 6 tentacular progenitor minions (300 exp)
- Group of 8 grey goblins, befriended (80 exp)
- Group of 2 sausage goblins, befriended (100 exp)
- 2 gribbly-faced insectoids, hyperpunched (100 exp)
Total: 1080 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- 4 translucent gas rocks, now mostly boiled away
- 107 gold in goblinskin "bag" (5350 exp)
- Rusty low quality field plate
- Silver scroll case (500 exp)
- Scroll #313
- Scroll #269
- Scroll #567
- Large ornate gold crown with inlaid gems soaking in jar of piss (22500 exp)
- Copper pendant set with 5 glowing rubies
Total: 28350 exp

Exploration:- Explored 6 heretofore unexplored areas (120 exp)
- 1 wandering monster rolled (50 exp)
- 1 alternate entrance found on level 3 (300 exp)
- First party to enter the Control Chamber (400 exp)
- Escaped the Slaughtergrid! (500 exp)
Total: 1370 exp
New Backstory:- Lulu was involved in the annual Mammoth Run as a child, managing to swing up on top of a mammoth and ride it! Unfortunately, despite her bravery, she fell off and was trampled. Luckily she survived. (Count falls as 10' lower)
- Stabbington, leaving Fate to follow the party, ran across a fallen meteorite... it spoke inside his mind with great clickbait business tips. Reciting these tips can have unpredictable effects! (Once per session, cast a random spell)
- Jain was informed of the death of her brothers and feigned despair, even though it was her machinations that led to their deaths. (When a fellow PC dies, become immune to death for one round per level of the dead. You take damage and death crits as normal, but they don't affect you until this effect wears off)
Events:
- With a full TEN PEOPLE, the group split into two teams. On the one side, the Olisbos Appreciation Person (OAP), on the other, the Super Team Dungeon (STD). Arbitrary group division leads to sudden rivalry (!?) (50 exp)

- Team OAP- New recruit sausage goblin leads group to third level. The heartbuster pillar is passed without incident. (50 exp)
- A ziggurat rising above a sea of partially digested chyme is spotted! Eleyn takes to the ceiling while others start wading through the gunk. (50 exp)
- Atop the ziggurat, a demon! A fucking horrible demon! 5 ovoid vaginal mouths standing upon purple veiny breasts, many arms tipped with actual dick fingers. The worst. I remind everyone that I did not write this adventure. (50 exp)

- The demon speaks! Echoing speech from many mouths. Accent unplaceable, high pitched, keeps shifting. OAP engage in conversation, assume xum gender.
- Xo promises salvation in exchange for finding a source of fuel for the war machine. A Bowel Oath would be required which seems to involve digestive system inversion if broken. (50 exp)
- The sausage goblin nopes the fuck out. (50 exp)
- Luu makes an owl call and Eleyn goes full Assassin's Creed, drops from ceiling, grapples on top of the demon. (50 exp)
- Lulu chucks the Skull Switcher at Eleyn, hits well! It flies at Eleyn, she thrusts her arm out... fits like a glove. (50 exp)
- Lulu yells out orders, Eleyn sees the weak point, thrusts in with the skull switcher! (50 exp)
- ELEYN IS THE DEMON! Eleyn's body, inhabited by xryx consciousness, flails around confused. (50 exp)
- Lulu flick-ropes to the ceiling, flies towards monster, attacks! Fails! Keeps going! Plummets into chyme! (50 exp)
- Tentacular flippy things emerge from the chyme to protect their master, floppily attack people! (50 exp
- Powerman is attacked! He has player character resilience now because I love him almost as much as Sophia does. Blood is everywhere, he passes out. (50 exp)
- Stabbington stabs the shit out of the flippy tentacle thing! Runs after his fleeing employee. (50 exp)
- Zan uses the power of Hyper Jesus to heal Powerman. Phew! (50 exp)
- Eleyn's possessed body mindswaps back, Sophia hits it with a ghost beam! (50 exp)
- Others are climbing closer to the top. Eleyn mindswaps again, orders the tentacle creatures away, begins chomping down on her possessed body a la Jaws. (50 exp)
- Return switch! The demon orders all its minions to attack Eleyn! (50 exp)
- Eleyn swaps back... just in time. Sees tentacle minons destroy the shit out of her body. No, Eleyn. You are the demons. (50 exp)
- Eleyn, in the demon's body, orders the flippy minions to open the door. They do! But unfortunately they don't last long outside of the chyme. (50 exp)
- Team STD show up and most of the rejoined party run out into the sweet open air, covered in blood and chyme and shit, tears streaming from eyes that haven't seen sunlight for a very long time. (50 exp)

- Team STD

- Jumurak persuades his half of the group to help him finish the map of the second level. (50 exp)
- They go down to the second level, climb a barricade, then investigated the mysterious hissing noise. (50 exp)
- A fire beam is shot into the room, and there's a huge explosion! The wall crumbles, releasing a few colourless sizzling rocks which slowly boil away as they release explosive gas. (50 exp)
- Further exploration finds a group of grey void-eyed goblins weeping and lamenting the death of their dad and their mistress. They don't bother the party. (50 exp)
- Sausage goblins in the next area wave to the party, say hello. They're friendly enough. Exploring a nearby annex reveals a silver scrollcase containing scrolls, battered and rusty armour. (50 exp)
- Suddenly mysteriously feeling worried for POWERMAN's safety, Jumurak goes up to the first level to try to dig out some of POWERMAN's bones so they can be soul anchored. (50 exp)

- The rest continue exploring, heading towards where Eleyn destroyed that sausage hobgoblin last session and finding all the skinned goblins. (50 exp)
- A goblin in a giant flatworm loincloth is inside a room filled with smoke. Jain manages to trick him into thinking she's Kaiva "Harpy Bitch" Greynail reborn. (50 exp)
- Jain finds a copper necklace embedded with gems and puts it on. It makes her think about how great it would be to scoop out guts and eat them. Also of note - a very valuable looking crown immersed in a pot of urine. (50 exp)
- Jumurak, upstairs, continues to search for POWERMAN bones. A couple of scavenging bug things attack but are hopelessly outmatched by Jumurak's magic missile punch. He grabs three likely skulls from the bone pile. (50 exp)
- The team rejoins and heads down to the third level to find the door is open and freedom is within their grasp! Thank the gods! (50 exp)

- Gorund and Rat LeBlanc instead solve the ziggurat puzzle. The ziggurat dips into the chyme, opening to reveal a long tube! Gravity is strange in the pit, and they fall slowly down it to reach a control room! (50 exp)
- Five child-sized seats are on the ceiling facing a smooth hemispherical wall. When activated, the front wall activates and a strange "no fuel" symbol flashes. They climb out and out, finally, into the sunlight. (50 exp)
Total: 1800 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Puzzlemaster bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
- Vore bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Backstory - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Party Treasurer bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Maximum Treasurer bonus (Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Pretty much everyone - 100 exp ea.)
- Homebringer bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)
- Ludicrous Host bonus (Cranky Jim - 500 exp)

Total: 1000 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here. BUT SOON!

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Nearly POWERMAN, but thankfully he survived!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 7 Fighter: 66069 (Level up at 128000)*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +Saves!
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 47733 (Level up at 72000)Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 46530 (Level up at 64000)Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 40141 (Level up at 70400)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric (Termaxian): 35689 (Level up at 56000)
Tom / Eleyn, 5HD genitalia demon with mind of an insane mutant gypsyAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 24409 (Level up at 35200)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 23660 (Level up at 36000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeleton
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 21568 (Level up at 24000)
Henry / Gorund, Level 2 Specialist: 2250 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!(Tom's next character) / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Cleric (Nonanist): 2625 (Level up at 3500)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day!
Absent or Retired:
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 107 - Ding-Dong!

The witch is dead! And nobody died! It's a miracle!

Important Note
Once again, the Mad Hatter has been STOLEN from us by a ninja group of non-dnd room bookers.
After an unsuccessful attempt to book a room elsewhere, Andy has rescued us for a second time from the hellish fate of having to skip DnD next week. Get in contact if you want to come to his place, since he'll need to know numbers.

Guido searches for treasure, by Charles

332, by Tom

Lose Youself (feat. Zan)

Yo
His claws are sweaty,
Knees weak, Ovipositor heavy,
Theres pus on his sweater already,
Goblin spaghetti,
he's nervous, But stabbington is calm and ready
To drop jobs
He opens his mouth, job offer comes out ...
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime!
Lose yourself in the tomb busters,
Clean the sewers, you own it
You better never mess it up
You only get one shot,
do not miss your chance to JOIN ....
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime !



Session 107 - Ding-Dong!
Campaign Date:

Thursday, 19 February, 1550
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Aquarius

New Characters:- Gorund, a Specialist and former fruit farmer.

Enemies Defeated:

- 4 huge sausage-mouth goblins, killed or surrendered (200 exp)
- 15 black-eyed goblins, killed or surrendered (375 exp)
- Huge sausage-mouth Hobgoblin, 336 damage (100 exp)
- The Harpy Bitch, blasted into pus and dissolved (100 exp)
Total: 775 exp

Treasure and Equipment:- 71 gp in small cauldron of slime putty (3550 exp)
- A shielding necklace adorned with ten gems, three still glow.
- 5000 sp in piles, stuffed into santa sack with anti-grav runes (5000 exp)
- 12" black opal olisbos (1200 sp)
Total: 9750 exp

Exploration:- Explored 4 heretofore unexplored areas (80 exp)
- 2 wandering monsters rolled (100 exp)
Total: 180 exp
New Backstory:- Tomb Busters was caught in a tax collector dawn raid! Oh shit! Luckily Stabbington's shady contacts tipped him off just in time and he managed to shred the most damning documents. (+2 to Search in pitch blackness)
- Lulu gave her lover Tiberius one last kiss before he left forever. As we all know, when she followed him south she reached him just in time to see him fall into the darkness beneath the earth. (When you kiss a willing person for the first time, gain +1HP/HD for the rest of the session)
Events:
- We zoom into the dramatic battle! Lulu barges in on the secret door side while Stabbington and new guy Gorund turn up on the opposite side the pus water! (50 exp)
- Lulu magic-ropes her way onto the scaffolding as various weapons are brought to bear on the harpy. Gorund wings her with a sling stone while Rat LeBlanc fires crossbow bolts from above, but the attacks seem strangely turned aside. (50 exp)
- The Harpy exhorts her followers to attack the interlopers, causing one of them to kick Gorund into the pus! Oh no! The other charges at Zan. (50 exp)
- The mirror image spell ends and Lulu takes the opportunity to swing across the room and pin her wings! Simultaneously, Stabbington stabs his sword into the stomach of the Harpy! (50 exp)
- Unfortunately the Harpy's writhings are too much for Lulu and knocks her into the pus water. Lulu plunges, spins, and manages to push off the pus blob that's trying to get her! She leaps into the air and goes to grab the Harpy again when... (50 exp)
- The Harpy is replaced by a sudden torrent of goblin ghosts! Sophia's ectenic blast punches in from above and slams the harpy down into the pus water! (50 exp)
- Lulu follows the body down, plunging into the water and diving through grasping fronds of white goop. She finds the already partially digested body and rips the witch's necklace from around her throat. She gracefully emerges from the water upon a column of ooze like the Birth of Aphrodite. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile, one of the sausage-goblins is splatted and the other attempts to surrender. Gorund, spitting up gross water and white slime, coughs and splutters as Zan calmly heals himself right next to him. (50 exp)
- Stabbington accepts Krong the Sausage Goblin's surrender in exchange for fealty to Tomb Busters. Zan lays down some sick rhymes - Lose Yourself (feat. Zan) - and the goblin accepts. (50 exp)
- While this is going on, Cranky Jim climbs the scaffolding towards the unexplored shore and sees the floor down there writhing, and Rat LeBlanc explores and finds a pot of gold coins suspended in slimy fart putty. (50 exp)
- Avoiding the floor, Eleyn spidercrawls along the ceiling and, seeing a square altar, lands on it. Luckily she avoids landing on the object that is on the altar... (50 exp)
- There's a bit of give when she lands too, and paralysing gas covers the nearby area. Oh no! That's fine though, after a few minutes everyone else has entered the chamber and the gas disperses. She's fine. (50 exp)
- Turns out the writhing floor is a carpet of slimy flatworms and rough coral stuff that you'll twist your ankle on if you're not careful. Luckily the witch is dead, so no big. (50 exp)
- The object on the altar is a large polished opal olisbos, slightly slick with clear fluids. (50 exp)
- "Haha how long is it?" (50 exp)
- "Errrr roll 2d6 for inches." (50 exp)
-  12. It's 12 inches long. Eleyn grabs it and insists on continuing to call it an Olisbos. (50 exp)
- Also there's a heap of silver coins scattered around. With anti-grav runes drawn on the santa sack, they're all scooped up. (50 exp)
- Also in the room, a collapsed section of wall. Green fluid that smells like apple flavoured sweets drips from cracks. Marilyn Monrat, one of Rat LeBlanc's few remaining minions, is fed a bit. She takes on an appearance like blown glass. (50 exp)
- Gorund and Eleyn drink some too and become glass people. Sick! Others collect some, but decide to see what's going to happen to these guys first. (50 exp)
- Guido is sent to trawl the pus water for treasure. He remains there for the rest of the session but is unsuccessful. (50 exp)
- The main party head to the mushroom house to deposit their treasure, while Eleyn and Gorund use their glass stealth to explore. (50 exp)
- Main Party find a room of night-eyed goblins getting ready for a raid! They're friendly enough, but when one of them insists on looking inside santa's sack Lulu breaks his fucking arm. (50 exp)
- The Glass Party stumble across a sausage goblin and a night-eye goblin attempting some sort of strange sexual manoeuvre. After interrupting and sneaking around and pretending to be god and stuff, they leave them to it. (50 exp)
- The Main Party slaughter every last one of the little goblins and go on their merry way. ;_; (50 exp)
- Glass Party find a room where a huge goblin with an extra long ovipositor tongue is talking to a bunch of other goblins. Clearly this is the Hobgoblin. Eleyn stealth-climbs over the guy, grabs Stabby the Dagger, and drops. (50 exp)
- Eleyn rolls the 1d30 for damage. Sneak attack is x6 and it turns out Stabby doubles that again. 336 damage in one hit. Holy shiiiiiit! (50 exp)
- The other goblins are suddenly covered in goblin sap and viscera, the glassy Eleyn suddenly outlined as a horrible monster covered in greeny grey goop. They run in fear. (50 exp)

Total: 1400 exp

Misc:- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)- OHKO'd the ovipositor daddy (100 exp)
- Overkilled the ovipositor daddy (100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Zan, Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
- Badass Backstory bonus (Stabbington, Lulu - 100 exp ea.)- Cartographer bonus (Jumurak - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Sophia, Rat LeBlanc, Jumurak - 100 exp ea.)
- Sick Rhymez bonus (Zan - 100 exp)

Total: 900 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None! Wow!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 62509 (Level up at 64000)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 44173 (Level up at 72000)Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 42970 (Level up at 64000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 6 Cleric: 32229 (Level up at 56000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 23858 (Level up at 24000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 5 Necromancer: 20200 (Level up at 36000)
-- POWERMAN!, Level 0 POWERMAN!
-- Guido, Level 1 Possessed Skull on giant skeletonAndy / Cranky Jim, Level 5 Dwarf: 19949 (Level up at 35200)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 5 Ratman: 18108 (Level up at 24000)
Henry / Gorund, Level 1 Specialist: 1440 (Level up at 1500)
Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 6 Dwarf: 36581 (Level up at 70400)
Anthony / Grunt, Level 3 Barbarian: 5298 (Level up at 8000)
Charlie / Una, Level 2 Specialist (Rogue): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Tomas / Shiz Nittlebam, Level 2 Magic User: 3877 (Level up at 4500)
Richard / Stonecold, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2264 (Level up at 4500)
Owen / Guyphy, Level 1 Elf (Scalbert Gumph): 1245 (Level up at 3000)Clo / Bamuk, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3869 (Level up at 4500)
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic's (?) Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human