Session 161 - Unite Us!

What a session! Who knew that being beloved saviours of a city could come in handy some day?

The sundry factions of New Rakedin, so untrusting of each other, are now united under the Dragon Ninhursag and his apocalypse cult!

This is pretty late again so I'm sending it out IMMEDIATELY. I guess that's what happens if you spend all weekend drinking.

Unfortunately my laptop seems to be refusing to allow me to charge it, so hopefully I'll have enough power to get through a session. Wish me luck. And see you tonight!

Session 161 - Unite Us!

Campaign Date:

Sunday, 7 November, 1600

Moon Phase: Third Quarter

Zodiac: Ophiuchus

New Backstory:

- The evil wizard who infiltrated Nix's family had concocted a dark and secretive experimental ritual. Nix shut it down, but ended up getting the blame! (Take half damage from traps other players set off)
- Coalminer Dan found the strange glowing meteorite in that cave and heard it speak inside his mind - "GIVE ME YOUR FLESH, HUMAN! I DEMAND IT!" (Once per session, cast a random spell)

Enemies Defeated:

- 4 very drunk ratmen (40 exp)

Total: 40 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Nix joined the Drakencult of Ninhursag!

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- First party to visit New Rakedin (400 exp)
- Travelled 24 or so miles (80 exp)

Total: 480 exp

Events:

- POWERLAD, newly minted scion of Ninhursag, falls out of the sky trailing electricity. He smashes into the ground in a classic superhero three-point landing. Luckily the rest of the party is conveniently close by and jogs on over. (50 exp)
- It's time to go north and see what Castigate Pox and RISEN are up to, since they know that they've been begrudgingly forced into an alliance by circumstance. (50 exp)
- As they leave Moondin behind, they see a man nailed to a tree by arrows. He's still breathing, barely, and has the obvious marks of an ex-mould junkie pocking his skin. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson flares up a healing glyph to keep him stable while the arrows are snapped off and he is pulled off the tree. He's alive! Galaxy Johnson teaches him how to power runes and tells him to keep the heal beam on himself until they reach a doctor. (50 exp)

- The guy's name is Keith, and Galaxy Johnson helps him stumble onwards until the group reach the town of Crossroad. Or at least it used to be called Crossroad, now it's fortified with wooden palisades and has "New Rakedin" on a banner above the gate! (50 exp)
- The palisades have clearly been hastily erected from scavenged wood, doors, and rope. Archers stand guard around the top, and ghouls have been chained around the outside for defence. Somewhat defaced RISEN propaganda is plastered to the walls. (50 exp)

- A soldier hails the party from atop the wall, telling them to come in before more Dead arrive. Inside, it looks like the revolutionary RISEN faction and Castigate's Rebel Dead are in an uneasy alliance. Nobody fraternises with the other faction, and tensions are high. (50 exp)
- The soldier's name is also Keith, and he takes the injured Keith to the church to be hospitalised. Keiths gotta stick together. (50 exp)
- Making smalltalk, Galaxy asks a RISEN member where Castigate Pox is. He says he doesn't care. Andromeda's whereabouts are inquired into, but nobody's seen her for months. (50 exp)
- Bertha looks around for a Necromancer and finds one. When the Necromancer finds out that she's THE Bertha, and that's THE POWERLAD, and that's THE Nix, she's so so excited. She asks whether they're "together" together, and Bertha retorts that they are indeed happily married thank you very much. (50 exp)
- The Necromancer, whose name is Marie, leads the group towards Castigate's HQ. It becomes apparent that she's a massive fan of the POWERLAD and Bertha series of erotic novels. They're "pretty electric, if you know what I mean". Bertha is mildly embarrassed, but she's got nothing on POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- All too soon they reach Castigate's place - a disused pub. The new Rebel Dead symbol, the Duvan'Ku Dead Sign with a slash through it, has been drawn over the original pub sign. (50 exp)
- Inside it is sombre and dusty. Castigate begins to ask who would dare interrupt his work, then sees who it is! POWERLAD! Nix! Bertha! It's been so long! (50 exp)

- It's been a trying time. Between the vanishing of the mould, the rise of the dragon in Moondin, Final Dogma, he's been managing quite the refugee crisis. (50 exp)
- Also he has had scattered reports about the angels falling from the heavens. At the very least they seem to be attacking the tentacles, but not much is known (50 exp)
- POWERLAD starts straight up proselytising about the merits of worshipping Ninhursag. Become an ally of the dragon! It's better than entire planetary destruction! Plus on the down low, there's evidence that dragons can be killed. (50 exp)
- Castigate doesn't believe them, until he is shown that the dead dragon's rune can be powered but doesn't do anything. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson starts carving runes into rocks so that the town will be armed. Nix spends some time on a map, while POWERLAD and Bertha go around giving alms and heal beams to the sick in the church. (50 exp)

- The priestess seems veeeery interested in POWERLAD, going so far as to offer him her room, if he needs it... (50 exp)
- Bertha steps in to pointedly ask that she and POWERLAD, her husband, share the room. The priestess acquiesces, sighing, and shows them the room. It's got a ton of POWERLAD erotic novels in it. POWERLAD opens a book and blushes furiously, but it is very educational (50 exp)

- Nix has headed to the guarded city quarter where the armed prostitutes have set up shop. They recognise Nix, and take her to their leader. They ask Nix for advice, they don't know what to do! (50 exp)
- She advises them to work with the Necromancers, but never live under them like before. Common cause, enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that. (50 exp)
- Bertha and POWERLAD decide to try to make a big speech to unify the people of New Rakedin, hopefully under the aegis of Ninhursag. They spend the evening writing it. (50 exp)
- That same evening, Galaxy Johnson's rolling around in some thatch under the moonlight, getting ready for his elf madness to kick in. He hears shouting from the palisade. He slides creepily up the wall, scaring the shit out of some poor guards! (50 exp)
- They nearly shoot at him, but Keith the soldier from earlier recognises him and lets him up. Galaxy Johnson looks out across a sea of fog that's rolling in right up to the walls, to the shock of the guards. (50 exp)
- Galaxy passes around some Explosion and Light beams to the guards and shows them how to use them. They're very impressed. (50 exp)
- There is a glow in the distance and an angelic chorus as a beam of light blasts down from the heavens, presumably frying some far-off tentacle. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson can feel his elf madness coming on, so he takes his leave before he makes it too obvious that he's a creepy alien fae from another planet. (50 exp)
- He creeps and cavorts through the thatch, while elsewhere in the town Nix has met up with Bertha to be sold on worshipping Ninhursag in place of/in addition to Ereshkigal. It works! Nix is inducted into the cult, and is now bonded to TWO dragons. Playing the field! (50 exp)
- Morning arrives, and POWERLAD has gotten over his speech nerves by throwing up a few times. Poor kid. Everyone else has informed the townspeople of all factions to come see POWERLAD give a speech at the church later. (50 exp)
- At midday, it happens! Castigate Pox gives a short introduction, then POWERLAD takes the stage with an inspiring speech about sticking together against a common foe, as Rake would have wanted. (50 exp)
- Then he pivots to selling the crowd on the cult of Ninhursag, especially because the power of the runes comes from dragons. Join forces with the dragon and we can defeat the tentacles together! (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson butts in with "AND WEED IS NOW LEGAL!" which is one of my favourite running gags, flicking joints into the crowd. (50 exp)
- A very much sold Keith is inducted into Ninhursag's Drakencult in front of the crowd via an earth rune drawn in dirt on his forehead. Galaxy Johnson gives him an Enlarge glyph and he does indeed get bigger! Amazing! (50 exp)
- This sets off a chain reaction, and soon POWERLAD is baptising the whole town! Such is the power of Ninhursag flowing through him that he bonds closer to the dragon, gaining the ability to sense beating hearts through walls and see circulatory systems in people's bodies. (50 exp)
- Even Castigate Pox gets in on the action, thanking POWERLAD and saying that unity is indeed what Rake would have wanted. He was very moved by the speech. (50 exp)

- It's the perfect time to party! Carousing begins, and Castigate even makes an appearance at the festivities. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Several days of binge drinking and some bad rolls later, the party find themselves in a secret ratman dive bar underground. Suddenly Ratimir pisses of one of the regulars! (50 exp)
- A bar brawl erupts. POWERLAD knocks out the roulette croupier and coins go flying. Galaxy Johnson casts a random spell and fixes his shirt. Ratimir reaches over the bar to pour himself a beer. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Bertha doubleteam a rat, but Bertha spares his life in order to gain Ninhursag's favour. Nix sucker-punches the bouncer and knocks him out too. (50 exp)
- The last rat, seemingly suicidally brave, rushes Nix and crits! But it's not good enough when Nix swings the unconscious bouncer's entire body at him! (50 exp)

- Surveying the chaos, it's been a pretty good night! The party continues for several days more. Life is good when you're in a cult's inner circle! (50 exp)

Total: 2100 exp

Misc:

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Fame bonus (50 exp)- Inspiring Speech bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)

- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Tracker (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Chippo Man bonus (Fraser*2 - 200 exp)

- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, James, Fraser - 500 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Rumours:

- 

Active Businesses:

- Bone Alone. Wild. 302sp. (Zena's Stake: 201sp, Carrie's Stake: 101sp)

- Honey Healing. Safe. 2034sp. (Nix's Stake: 1696sp. Bertha's Stake: 338sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None!

Exp Totals:

- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 67140 (Level up at 128000)

--- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2
--- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 55605 (Level up at 72000)--- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3

- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 15613 (Level up at 24000)
--- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2

- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 10250 (Level up at 12000)

Absent or Retired:
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 6731 (Level up at 9000)- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)

- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)

- Nix's Retainer

--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling

- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)

- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)

- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Session 160 - The Way of the Dragons

So it looks like the plan is to defeat the apocalypse by setting it against a whole other apocalypse, then working out how to defeat that apocalypse once it's defeated the first one.
It's basically the Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly disaster management technique, except that the fly is the size of a mountain and breathes gravity.

Next time on the party's diplomatic tour of Loegria's most destructive forces, it looks like the next stop is Dwimmermount to see what the demons are up to. Should be a laugh!

- Tom renders everyone's favourite early retiree, Spicy Mac.

Session 160 - The Way of the Dragons

Campaign Date:

Monday, 23 November, 1600

Moon Phase: First Quarter

Zodiac: Scorpio

New Backstory:

- The evil wizard who infiltrated Nix's family had concocted a dark and secretive experimental ritual. Nix shut it down, but ended up getting the blame! (Take half damage from traps other players set off)
- Coalminer Dan found the strange glowing meteorite in that cave and heard it speak inside his mind - "GIVE ME YOUR FLESH, HUMAN! I DEMAND IT!" (Once per session, cast a random spell)

Enemies Defeated:

- None defeated, but many friends made!

Total: 0 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Galaxy Johnson joined the Drakencult of Ereshkigal!
- Nix joined the Drakencult of Ereshkigal!
- POWERLAD joined the Drakencult of Ninhursag!

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- First party to visit the Head of Ninhursag (500 exp)
- About 40 miles of travel (140 exp)
- Randoms encountered (50 exp)

Total: 690 exp

Events:

- Leading off from last time, we zoom in to see one of the Banjo Fishwicks leading the party through the space time fuckery of the inside of the floating mountain. Spacial distortions, gravity flips, it's wild. Banjo's eyes sometimes become black gates into a starry black void when he blinks. (50 exp)

- Soon they reach the temple chamber of the Dragon itself. It is stirring, but asleep. Around it are priests in black robes, all of them temporal clone couples of POWERLAD and Andromeda. (50 exp)

- They are aghast and amazed at this anomalous POWERLAD in their midst, married not to Andromeda, but to some other chick! Bertha gets defensive. The group explain that "our" Andromeda died in a terrorist attack. (50 exp)
- They talk for a while about what the deal is with the dragon. They're trying to wake it in order to kill Shub-Niggurath through controlled gravitic demolition of the earth! (50 exp)

- The party is asked if they'd like to join the Drakencult of Ereshkigal. Galaxy Johnson is so down, and he manages to persuade Nix to join him. The rest of the party abstain, POWERLAD and Bertha intending to shop around a bit with the other dragons before committing. (50 exp)
- Kneeling before the great black dragon's head, Nix and Galaxy Johnson pledge their souls to Ereshkigal. Long may it reign! Their bond grants them more power over the Mass rune! (50 exp)

- Asking what the plan is, High Priest POWERLAD informs the party that Ereshkigal shall awaken and advance on Fate to destroy the massive tentacle that lays beneath it. It will rise in two months! (50 exp)
- The party take their leave, passing through a decaying cavern containing the William Fox-Shitts who worship the aspect of Decay. On a wall, clinging like a gecko, is a decrepit and rheumy-eyed dragon with tattered wings. It is not fucked with. (50 exp)
- At the entrance, Insanity Mammoths are called to fly the party down to the ground on their constantly mid-explosion wings. One last thing - where are the other dragons? There's one in Moondin, of course, and another one which roams the Drudge Wastes with a huge goblin machine on its back. Or so they say. (50 exp)

- One of the Insanity Mammoths mentions that no more duplicates are coming out of Dunnsmouth any more, and the party decide to go check it out. Having the Time Cube would be pretty great right now! (50 exp)
- They get dropped off to find that the area around Dunnsmouth is constantly resetting, basically like a big dome covered in a constant layer of fog. Galaxy Johnson reaches a hand into the dome and feels incredible pain! He snatches the hand back to find it covered in blisters. What the fuck is even going on in there? (50 exp)

- Oh well. The group move off towards Moondin to check out the other Drakencult they know about. On the way they see the brainless corpse of a victim of demon deer attack, and later, another corpse with its throat cut. (50 exp)
- They run into a group of people fleeing on the outskirts of Moondin. They're clearly also adventurers. Nix squares off against a couple of Barbarians in a scowling competition, while Galaxy Johnson strikes up a conversation with their wizard. They agree to meet in Fate later. (50 exp)

- Apparently the green dragon's cult has taken over the town, remade it in the dragon's image, and is poisoning people. Great. The groups part ways, and the party discover that yep Moondin sure is fucked! (50 exp)
- There's a big moat of magma, great crystal trees, lots of vegetation reclaiming the town in proper apocalyptic style. POWERLAD activates his Fly spell, which presents as electrical super-jumps. Very Infamous. (50 exp)

- He lands near a cultist guard in a green robe. On theme. POWERLAD persuades the cultist to take him to his leader with some smooth talking. Apparently everyone's already heard of POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party decides to head to the Necromancer HQ they remember hitting up last time they were in town. On the way there, a dude ushers them into his partially crystallised house. (50 exp)
- He's one of the resistance who's staying behind to underground railroad people out of the city. Ratimir is excited by the revolution. Fight the man! The dragon man! Apparently RISEN and the Necromancers have begrudgingly joined forced to resist the draconic incursion. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD has, by this point, been brought to the centre of town. A magma lake with crystal trees growing from it has an island in the middle with some sort of crystal building in the centre. A boat made of stone and even more crystal is paddled across the magma to take him in. (50 exp)
- Reaching the island, POWERLAD is greeted by a very big man called Magnus Grossman. He is a high priest of the Drakencult, and VERY BIG. (50 exp)

- He explains that Ninhursag is all about rock and stone and poison. In fact, the plan is to create a super-poison capable of destroying all cellular life and thus poisoning the tentacles TO DEATH. (50 exp)
- It would be nice to find a poison that kills only the tentacles and leaves everything else alive, but unfortunately as the progenitor of all life on Earth it's hard to make something that only kills tentacles. If they can do it, they will though. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD thinks this sounds pretty legit and decides to join the Drakencult of Ninhursag. Magnus leads him to the great green head of the dragon, which emerges from lava. Around it are high ranking Drakencult of all the different aspects of the dragon. (50 exp)

- POWERLAD prostrates himself before Ninhursag's great head and joins the Drakencult! His bond with Ninhursag gives him more power over the Earth rune! (50 exp)

- Back in the town, the rest of party is talking to the rebel Necromancer. Apparently the Mould just vanished one day, the addicts emerged from the cathedral lost and confused, and Moldus Vane himself has retreated to a secret underground redoubt. (50 exp)
- He admits that he was one of those mould addicts, and misses the feeling of connectedness and completeness he felt at the time. Everyone hugs him, and for a brief moment he feels a shade of what he once had. (50 exp)
- Over at the head of Ninhursag, POWERLAD is talking to Sylvia Flora the aptly named priestess of the Aspect of Plants. She is mildly disappointed that he's married, and explains that their poison research is going fine but they need more poison research! (50 exp)
- During the after-credits scene, we see a flashback to the disappearance of the Mould inside the cathedral. We zoom into the pile of bodies as the Mould vanishes, in and in to see Zarat's eyes pop open. In unison, a chorus of voices say "AAHHHH! A RAT!" (50 exp)

Total: 1500 exp

Misc:

- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)

- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)

- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Guard (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)

- Tracker (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Chippo Man bonus (Kitty*2 - 200 exp)

- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, James, Fraser - 500 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom in absentia - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Rumours:

- 

Active Businesses:

- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)

- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None!

Exp Totals:

- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 65626 (Level up at 128000)

--- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 54652 (Level up at 72000)--- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2

- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 14122 (Level up at 24000)
--- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2

- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 8882 (Level up at 12000)

Absent or Retired:
- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 6731 (Level up at 9000)- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)

- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)

- Nix's Retainer

--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling

- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)

- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)

- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Session 159 - Dies Eye-Ray

Session 159 - Dies Eye-Ray

Campaign Date:

Monday, 23 November, 1600

Moon Phase: First Quarter

Zodiac: Scorpio

New Characters:
- Friar, a Magic-User who happened to be wandering around in the Barrowmaze and came to see what all the boss fight fuss was about.
- Clarence Eclair, a cartographer and scholar briefly Charmed by Seraph on the day of her martyrdom

New Backstory:

- Seraph fought in a small-scale Termaxian rebellion over on the continent after being radicalised. (+1 Str)
- Bertha's mother, dying of some charnel disease, told Bertha the secret that shattered her world... "There's no money left, you'll have to become a prostitute". (+1 Wis)
- Ratimir was in the midst of a bank robbery with a gaggle of fellow rats when he was wounded. He told his friends to go on without him... but they all got gunned down. Ratimir spent agonising hours slowly crawling through the bodies and hid in a fountain until the heat was off. (While fleeing, can grant your Flee die result to another)

Enemies Defeated:

- A Beholder (1500 exp)
- 4 ghouls (200 exp)
- 2 shambling shrubs (1000 exp)
- Seraph's executioner (10 exp)
- 90 so-called innocents (0 exp)

Total: 2710 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Your lives! And briefly a potion.
- The spell Tear the Veil Asunder

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:

- Travelled around 40 miles (140 exp)
- Explored 3 dungeon rooms (60 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Events:

- In the Barrowmaze, a deadly battle for survival against the mighty BEHOLDER stands on a knife edge. Sacrifices will have to be made if anyone is going to make it out alive... (50 exp)
- In Fortress-City Fate, amidst the billowing steam and groaning metal of a brass city undergoing some strange metamorphosis, Seraph asks passers-by if they've heard of a certain library containing a certain forbidden book of extreme heresy. (50 exp)
--- Team Barrowmaze

- We zoom back into the fight that was left on a cliffhanger last time. An eye-of-many-eyes BEHOLDER chained above a swirling pit of souls, several yellow-clawed GHOULS striking in to attack the PARTY who cower by the double doors. (50 exp)
- Nix is compelled to attack her friends, aiming a supremely deadly punch right at Randy... but in that split second before caving in his face she stops. Randy's her friend! The Charm is broken! (50 exp)
- Unfortunately the ghouls don't have such compunctions about ripping Randy to shreds, and he's swiftly savaged by their poisonous claws. He barely survives. (50 exp)
- One of Ratimir's rats is scurrying around on the Beholder's head, disrupting one of its attacks, but it still blasts out with two other eye beams. A scintillating yellow ray hits poor Randy, who is immediately stunned. (50 exp)
- The other beams out and hits Galaxy Johnson with a sleep beam... but Elves don't sleep! Go go space alien! (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson parries many ghoul-blows, swinging under the guard of one and stabbing in with his pick. Nice! He gets hit a couple of times, but Elves are immune to ghoul poison for weird legacy reasons. It's good to be him! (50 exp)
- Friar, a Magic User, turns up at the back of the group and is immediately trusted by all. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson dives back to shut one half of the door. He nearly falls over Ratimir, who managed to fuck up a gambit and told his rats to "go for the eyes!" without telling them which eyes. He writhes on the ground, trying to get his rats to stop trying to blind him. (50 exp)

- Just in time, Bertha cuts through with a powerful Subjugate Dead. She can see the spirits whirling from the portal... and by the way they swirl she can make out where everyone is! She can almost see again! (50 exp)
- All four of the ghouls freeze mid-attack... and turn around towards the Beholder. It doesn't have time to fight back as they fall upon it with their paralysing claws! (50 exp)

- It tries to fight back, stunning one and turning the other to stone, but is overcome by the stunning poison flowing through its veins. It drops down into the pit and into the maelstrom, bouncing on the chains. (50 exp)

- Bertha uses her soul-sight to enter the room and investigate the Pit of Souls. She sees the statue of Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus in full armour, throttling a tentacle. She also sees the the pit is surrounded by magical writings... it's a spell! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD shows up finally and is horrified to see that Bertha has been blinded... and by one of his own crossbows no less! (50 exp)

- A couple of large motile shrub monsters begin crawling out of the pit. Nix and Bertha's ghoulfriends run in to attack as they crest the edge of the pit. (50 exp)

- Friar blasts one of the crawling shrubs with Faerie Fire, outlining it in vivid violet and making it easier to hit. (50 exp)

- Together with Friar, Bertha and POWERLAD begin tearing pages out of one of Bertha's books and take rubbings of the carven spell. (50 exp)
- One of the ghouls kicks a shrub into a pit. Hardcore. (50 exp)
- Ratimir sends his rat swarms into glorious battle, and the other shrub squishes one. Just one. (50 exp)
- The rubbing is complete! Everyone disengages, Bertha led by POWERLAD. They flee for the exit... and they make it! To my very great surprise, the blatant TPK-to-be has ended with no deaths! (50 exp)
--- Team Seraph
- Seraph wanders the streets of Fate, halo radiant, asking if anybody's heard of the Library of Jumurak, (50 exp)
- Nobody really has, but she is approached by a skeezy looking guy who asks her if she's interested in a plan for a "change of management" in Fate. If she is, head to Wizzbang Will's and ask for Slim. (50 exp)
- She declines for now and heads to the grand Library of Fate to hunt for information. She's already bought citizenship, so flashes her ID card to access the library. (50 exp)

- She heads to the history of Fortress-City Fate section and begins looking stuff up, discovering that the Battlefortress is human-pilotable, and can be piloted by a single person at that! (50 exp)

- Satisfied for now, she decides to hit up Wizzbang Will's place and investigate. On her way out, she Charms a scholar to research Fortress-City Fate for her, but then tells him what she's done for a weird "I've dominated your psyche but we can still be friends right?" vibe. (50 exp)
- She heads for Wizzbang WIll's on the transport links, arriving to find a garishly coloured drug shop/drug den with a bored guy tending the shop. She asks for "Slim", and is blindfolded and led through a few doors until she gets to Jimmy's office. (50 exp)

- It's Slim Jimmy! But he's like 85, real real old. And of course, Seraph doesn't know him herself. He explains that there's a plot to depose the Fated Queen, expose her as an Elf, and blame her for all the apocalyptic shenanigans. (50 exp)
- As he speaks, there is a faint yell from outside, and later a door banging. He perks up at the noises, looking oddly at Seraph as he does so, but these are ignored. (50 exp)

- Seraph agrees to be the figurehead of the rebellion, preaching Termaxianism, and says she will need to understand what's going on with the city is she is to help take it over. (50 exp)
- Slim Jimmy nods and says "alright then", and suddenly armed guards burst into the room! "Get down on the ground!" (50 exp)
- "I apologise. You must understand that the security of the city is paramount in these uncertain times" says Jimmy as he presses a button and his chair falls backwards into an escape hatch in the wall. (50 exp)

- The guards tell Seraph she's under arrest for sedition, and Seraph complies. She is cuffed and frogmarched through the streets. She blesses beggars as she goes along, an innocent angel arrested by brutal guards. (50 exp)
- As the cathedral looms in the distance, Seraph tries one last thing - popping the last two of those weird mushrooms that originally turned her into an Elf! One turns her hair bright yellow, the other makes her trip balls! (50 exp)
- She fades out into a riot of noise and synesthesia. She hears a thousand voices murmering, hears those voices cheering and shouting, feels rough hands sit her down. There is a moment when someone says "are you alright?" (50 exp)
- There is a loud imperious voice. A cavernous voice. A hundred cries of shock and anger and elation. There is a basket, and she sees the weave at the bottom of it. She's lying on a bed looking into a basket woven of basket of woven of weave. (50 exp)
- There is a sharp steel sound. She is suddenly standing, looking at herself, as the blade of a guillotine descends treacle-slowly towards her neck, She has cast Comes the Godhead, and her yellow hair writhes through the air like a nest of serpents. (50 exp)

- The blade touches the back of her neck and she is eclipsed by a burning white orb of holy fire. The flash of bright energy evaporates everything for 50' around, annihalating the guillotine, the platform, the executioner, the priests, and nearly a hundred people in a wide circle. (50 exp)
- The Fated Queen, from the balcony of the Church of Nine Corners, looks on in horror as Seraph ascends to Martyrdom. (50 exp)
--- Team Barrowmaze

- Back in Helix, the party settle down for a well-earned rest. Bertha checks out the rubbings, discovering that the spell is called Tear the Veil Asunder and requires at least a hundred Necromancers, a full lunar cycle, and the deaths of a hundred of the Necromancers involved in the ritual. It tears a hole into Death, which is presumably what keeps the tentacles down when you use the spell. (50 exp)

- Bertha and POWERLAD head to the wizard's tower to ask that weirdo wizard about cures for blindness. (50 exp)

- He only knows that Clerics have spells for restoring blindness, and also has a bunch of randomised potions that he forgot to label and will sell on the cheap. (50 exp)
- Ratimir buys a potion, chugs it down without reading the label, and becomes temporarily powerful! He draws a ton more rats towards him before the potion wears off, creating a large rat army! (50 exp)- Bertha tries to persuade the wizard to teach her the spell that made him immortal, but he refuses rudely. Too many immortal wizards around, donchaknow. (50 exp)
- Mildly annoyed, the party debate what to do next. A whirling flock of crows flies overhead, screeching "Resist the final dogma!" and similar. The party flag him down to ask him what's going on. (50 exp)

- "Cyrus has initiated the Final Dogma!" he caws, "It's the order to kill all mankind and raise them as Dead for the final battle for all creation!" (50 exp)
- Seeing as that's fucked up, Cardinal Scream has gone rogue. He's got no real plan other than to save as many lives as possible, damn the consequences. (50 exp)
- He flies off again, and after a vote to see what they should do next, the party decide it's time to hit up the Gravity Dragon and see if they can help wake it up to defeat the tentacles. (50 exp)
- On their way, they see distant Dead marching to murder mankind, and a patch of ground where worms writhe out of the very earth. (50 exp)
- They reach the floating mountain of the gravity dragon. Winged figures swoop around the heights, waterfalls flow upwards, and a whole lot of floating boulders form a climbable spiral all the way up to the mountain itself . (50 exp)

- The climb ends at a natural dungeon entrance on the underside of the floating mountain - a cave of shiny and reflective mirrored black rock. The reflections that reflect and reflect and reflect from the surfaces seem to move after, and before, you do. (50 exp)
- Also weird, gravity shifts 90 degrees as you climb up into the entrance. You can look straight ahead and be staring directly down towards the ground. (50 exp)
- The party start moving towards some muffled voices, and gravity suddenly inverts! POWERLAD casts Featherfall quickly, and the party land safely and softly on the ceiling. Spooked, they continue. (50 exp)
- Reaching the source of the voices, POWERLAD recognises who it is... Banjo Fishwick! More specifically, like ten Banjo Fishwicks all hanging out together! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD speaks to them, and they ask where his wife is. "Right here, actually" he says, pointing to Bertha. The Banjo Fishwicks are shocked, he's an anomalous POWERLAD! (50 exp)
- One of them excitedly agrees to guide the party to the head of the gravity dragon. An anomalous POWERLAD! What a cool surprise! (50 exp)

Total: 2500 exp

Misc:

- AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)

- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Poison is OP bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOOoOOOoOooky bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)

Total: 1350 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)

- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Quartermaster (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)

- Guard (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)

- Tracker (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)

- Chippo Man bonus (Fraser*2 - 200 exp)

- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Fraser, Tom - 500 exp ea.)

- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp)

- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

- Attacco d'Meme bonus (Tom - 100 exp)

- An Hero bonus (Tom - 200 exp)
- Awesome Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)

Rumours:

- The Witch Queen has taken over an old tower that the sea once claimed, at low tide you can just see the tops of the spires.

- The Dead cannot see through the sheer life energy of a tree! Hide behind one and they cannot find you.

Active Businesses:

- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)

- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Seraph was executed for crimes against the state, destroying everything around her with holy fire as her final act.

Exp Totals:

- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 64252 (Level up at 128000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup Table! +backstory!
--- Randy, Level 1 Hench-Dwarf: 1297 (Level up at 2200)

- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 12649 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +Saves! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!

- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 6934 (Level up at 12000)

- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 6731 (Level up at 9000)

- Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Elf (Living Saint): 3973 (Level up at 6000)

*EXECUTED*- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 2 Specialist: 2940 (Level up at 3000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!

- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)

Absent or Retired:
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)

- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 53279 (Level up at 72000)

- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)

- Nix's Retainer

--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling

- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)

- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)

- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)