Session 145 - The Lake That Claimed Rake

A great tragedy this week!
The death of Rake, and the loss of Castigate Pox. The joint leaders of Moondin lost to the nixies. Alas!

The power vacuum is filled, for now, by Grand Vizier Blue Jon. He has called a week of mourning and weed legalisation in response, hoping to buy time for a new plan (and ruler!) to be instated.

And, of course, the Heart of Thorns has been raided in an attempt to find Baba Yaga's broom. With this last piece, the tentacle might be chained forever. 

It's Henry's last session next week before he heads to China, so let's hope it's a good one!

- Tom renders the last moments of Rake's life

- I doodle the last time anyone saw Rake

- Charles illustrates the recap in his signature style

Session 145 - The Lake That Claimed Rake

Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 17 July, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Gemini

New Backstory:
- During a cold cold winter, Carrie gave what little extra clothing she had... to those who gave her respect (While taking a break to heal, can grant your healing to another instead)
- Raaf saw the horrors of war first-hand when his unit's planned attack was caught in heavy crossfire due to the actions of a lazy commander. Raaf lost trust in the command as a result. (+2 to AC and Saves for a 10 minute turn after a plan goes awry)
Enemies Defeated:- 2 tentacles (40 exp)

Total: 40 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Baba Yaga's Mortar
- 4000sp (4000 exp)
- Saphire-set silver necklace (2800 exp)

Total: 6800 exp

Exploration:- First party to reach the Nixie Pool (300 exp)- First party to enter the Heart of Thorns (300 exp)
- Explored several dungeon areas (60 exp)
- 24 miles of travel (80 exp)
Total: 740 exp

Events:

- Gearing up for a struggle, the party spend some moolah to sleep in Splendid conditions! Such luxury! (50 exp)
- On the way, Rake and Castigate have a chat. We discover that the Dead Peace was negotiated by an ambassador called Singular Thay, and that Castigate knows the Fated Queen's true name. (50 exp)
- Her name... was Jade. (50 exp)
- Shock and disbelief around the table! But how!? Regardless, the troupe sets off towards the nixie pool and the second item in Blue Jon's fetch quest. (50 exp)
- They ride and/or trudge through the forest, taking a detour towards the Alabaster Oracle's home cave. Her reading of Blue Jon's future has changed! How bizarre! (50 exp)
- She also gives the party better directions to the nixie lake. Blue Jon's map was fairly accurate, but may have gotten them lost. On thw way, a leaf-shaped arrow is found. (50 exp)- After following the road then turning off to follow a stream, by late morning the party find themselves at a mist-shrouded lake! (50 exp)
- When they stop, faint sounds of splashing and tinkling laughter and horse whinnies can be heard. Surely it's the nixies! (50 exp)
- Meta-knowledge is compared by those who checked wikipedia. The verdict - nobody's sure what nixies do because they've got a lot of contradictory fairytale bullshit going on. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Nix begin building a raft from rope and wood. (50 exp)

- Blue Jon calls out across the water... and soon a beautiful white horse steps out of the mist and onto the land. It whinnies and motions with its head. (50 exp)
- "Oh it's definitely a kelpie, don't ride it!", says POWER!KITTY. Her warning is immediately ignored in order to debate more important stuff, such as "it can't be a kelpie, we've seen kelpies and they were kelp ladies" (50 exp)
- Instead of getting on the totally-not-kelpie-just-a-beautiful-intelligent-horse-that-lives-in-a-lake, Rake gets on his horse and follows it into the water with a rope about his waist. (50 exp)
--- On the Shore
- The party on the shore lose sight of him in the mist, and soon after the rope goes taut! POWERLAD and Nix run to keep hold. (50 exp)
- Soon there is frantic tugging on the rope, and maybe faintly some talking. There is a loud splash and some great pressure begins pulling the rope inexorably. (50 exp)
- The party haul on it. Their feet slip in the mud, but they grit their teeth and stand firm! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon lets go of the rope and casts Fly, swooping out to investigate what's going on! He follows the direction of the rope, seeing a roiling mass of bubbles with a faint glow deep below. (50 exp)
- The pressure on the rope keeps building and eventually it's too much, the rope slips, and the group fall down in a big tangle. Rake's horse, panicked, emerges from the water and has to be calmed down. The end of the rope slithers into the water. Rake is just... gone. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon, from the air, sees several feminine shapes in the water. He hears a bright voice call out for him to fly down and join them. (50 exp)
- He refuses to fly down, but he does bare his loins to the general jeers of the watery women below. Embarrassed, he swoops up to detect the magical mortar he's after. (50 exp)
- It's there! In the middle of the lake! He spell-swaps a Floating Disk underneath it, to the chagrin of the women lounging in it. (50 exp)
- They attempt some sort of watery mind-magic but Blue Jon's too high to care. He flies back to the main group, Floating Disk skipping like a stone over the water beneath him. (50 exp)
- The nixies bail when they realise they have no power of the stoner mind, and hen Blue Jon arrives it's discovered that the nixies were keeping a bunch of treasure in there! (50 exp)
- Sadly, the group heads back towards Moondin. One day, perhaps, they'll dredge the lake for Castirake's corpse. But that day is not this day. (50 exp)
--- Beneath the Surface
- Rake and his horse follow the not-kelpie into the lake until they reach the end of the rope. Not wanting to go further, he pats the not-kelpie to tell it that he's turning around. (50 exp) 
- His hand gets stuck. The water horse turns its head right around and bares its teeth in an equine grin, staring right at him. (50 exp)
- The water ripples and a face forms, looking like it's carved from glass before the water drips back and reveals a woman's head. "You look a little stuck!" she giggles. (50 exp)
- Rake tugs on the rope for help. His horse panics. The definitely-kelpie drops like a stone, pulling Rake off his horse and into the lake. (50 exp)
- In his ear, Castigate says "Activating air!" and charges an air rune! Unfortunately it's more like a hairdryer of fresh air blasting into Rake's mouth, but it's better than nothing. (50 exp)
- Unnoticed and unthought of, Diocletian the baby basilisk drowns under Rake's armour. (50 exp)
- Beneath the water they all have invisible woman-style transparent bodies. At a distance, the shadow of a great fish circles. (50 exp)
- Rake can't talk to the kelpies since he's got the air blowing straight into his mouth and he feels a cool touch on his wang. (50 exp)
- As Charles writes in the recap, (50 exp)

- The horse and the kelpies continue dragging him down... but his friends holding the other end of the rope are holding on tight! Rather than sinking straight down, he arcs like a pendulum at the end of the rope. (50 exp)
- One whispers in his ear that she's untying the rope. There's not much he can do to stop her. (50 exp)
- The rope goes limp around Rake's waist. He's alone. At least he can spool the rope in. He attaches a grapnel and tries to throw it at the fish... no chance underwater (50 exp)
- With his other hand he swings Castigate the greataxe at the definitely-maybe-kelpie, doing no damage due to the water slowing the blow. (50 exp)
- The kelpies form line in front of Rake's face, the line of refracting images creating a single perfect face and speaking in perfect unison - "Turn off the air, Rake". (50 exp)
- He doesn't! Instead he throws the grapnel-rope in front of himself, Castigate prepares a ghost blast, and together they blast the grapnel at the fish!!! (50 exp)
- It misses. (50 exp)
- Rake resigns himself to having to fuck his way out of this predicament, and grabs at the waist of the nearest kelpie. His finges go right through her body. She laughs lightly. "You know we weren't actually going to fuck you, right? We're going to eat your soul!" (50 exp)
- Rake finally realises that they actually didn't want to have sex after all!! What a twist? (50 exp)
- He's reached the bottom and out of options. Castigate's exhausted. The nixies line up again... and the Charm works. "Stay with us, Rake", they say. And he does. (50 exp)
- He unbuckles Castigate and allows the armour to fall to the treasure-strewn lake bottom. He breathes the dark clear water into his lungs. His last thought is of his long-lost daughter, and how he wishes he'd given her a better future... (50 exp)
--- The Way Home

- Without Rake, the party heads home with a sad song in their hearts. The mortar, filled with treasure, floats an inch above the ground and is easily pushed. (50 exp)
- On the way past the Alabaster Oracle they drop off the mortar so that she can look after it for them. (50 exp)
- They come into Moondin in the early evening, and rumours of Rake's fate begin to spread. Before they get too out of control, the Grand Vizier Blue Jon makes a public announcement. (50 exp)
- He confirms the demise of Rake Hacker, declares a week of mourning for the fallen Steward, names Raaf van Held as the city's new interim Steward, and finally announces - weed is now legal!!! (50 exp)
- A bit of admin and a few days rest, then the group gear up for their assault on the Heart of Thorns and the final item! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- On the way, they go to check in with the Oracle... but it seems a couple of big ol' tentacles are bashing at her door! They're distracted though, so easily dispatched with a cavalry charge. (50 exp)
- Turns out that the Oracle's home started getting attacked soon after Blue Jon dropped off the mortar. Curious. (50 exp)
- Raaf sends some of the city guard to help protect the Oracle's caves, and she gives Blue Jon another reading and sees... he will die after the Heart of Thorns?! (50 exp)
- Zena tries to get a prophecy but is told that SHE WILL DIE should she return to this place!!! (50 exp)
- On the way to the Heart of Thorns, another leaf-shaped arrow is found. Different leaf, different veins, but similarly leaf-like. (50 exp)
- After some time they reach the Heart of Thorns - a big pile of detritus and thorny bushes. An obvious entrance is formed at a place where the hill has collapsed... or perhaps blown open. (50 exp)
- The party charge their anti-mould runes, get torches ready and smoke some infravision-granting Red Eye Cigarettes before heading in. (50 exp)
- As they enter, it is obvious that the whole hill is made of many many dead and mould-infested creatures, built up over the long long years into a huge mound. (50 exp)
- The tear in the side of the mound oozes viscous liquid, pulsing slowly, trying to heal. Several conveniently dungeon-corridor-sized channels have formed due to collapses of the internal structure (50 exp)
- There is a sound of voices playing card games from one of several corridors, purplish vegetation in another. The possible options are investigated before the party withdraws. Next session, the interior! (50 exp)

Total: 2950 exp

Misc:
- Best of Intentions  bonus (50 exp)

- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Death bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Why Did You Touch That bonus (50 exp)

Total: 650 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)

- Caller (Tom / ??? - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)

- Treasurer (James / Raaf - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom, Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Rake Hacker, dragged to the bottom of a lake by nixies where he eventually drowned.

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 30598 (Level up at 32000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 29813 (Level up at 32000)*DECEASED*
- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 28404 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 27333 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 23968 (Level up at 32000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14135 (Level up at 16000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 4 Cleric: 13800 (Level up at 14000)- Tom / Tom's next character: +2298 exp (+14907 exp if child of Rake = 17205 exp)

Absent or Retired:- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Ollie / Ollie's next character: +300 exp
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Session 144 - Into the Zombie Hole

Phew! Finally managed to squeeze in the recap.
I'd make excuses but we've been together pretty much every day for a whole week!

So, moving onto art and such:

-- Tom gives us SO MANY THINGS and this recap is SO LATE but THANK YOU TOM

Session 144 - Into the Zombie Hole

Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 10 July, 1660
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Gemini

New Characters:
- Bob the Dwarf, a surprisingly brave ex-midwife

New Backstory:
- Carrie Meleste rewards her followers for their submissive behaviour, to the delight of her clientele. (Once per round, may give an order. The recipient gets +1 to carrying out that order)
- In the midst of gruelling and brutal war, Raaf allowed his troops to desert and escape the meatgrinder. A noble sacrifice indeed. (When fleeing, may grant your flee die to another)
Enemies Defeated:- 3 undead wolves (225 exp)
- 12 zombies (120 exp)
- Mr Zombiemaster (100 exp)

Total: 545 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Baba Yaga's Pestle - Conserves momentum until it hits something.
- Bonebreath - A staff with a skull on it and ghostly blue glowing eyes.
- Packet of Redeye Cigarettes
- The Necromancer's grimoire

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:- Explored several dungeon areas (80 exp)
- 12 miles of travel (40 exp)
Total: 120 exp

Events:

- We open with Blue Jon and Rake on the floating zombie island, and the rest of the party separated by the zombie-infested water. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD constructs a raft from wood and rope, and Zena tests it by punting out across the water. Unfortunately it breaks, and she falls in! (50 exp)
- Zena is pulled back, using groaning zombie heads like stepping stones to get back to land (50 exp)
- Since that didn't work, POWERLAD activates Fly and just ferries everyone across that way. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- Everyone is airdropped onto the island and meets up with Blue Jon and Rake who have already descended into the hole in the hut... (50 exp)
- Inside the zombie island is a passage hollowed out, grasping hands reach from all sides making movement difficult. (50 exp)
- The first room seems to have some patches of fuzzy carpet embedded in the floor. Blue Jon, paranoid, pokes one with his sword... (50 exp)
- He was right to be paranoid! Undead wolves burst out from the floor and bite at him! (50 exp)
- Rake steps forth with his enormous axe, Zena begins charging a rune, Carrie starts casting Turn Undead, arrows are fired and defensive positions are taken. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon fires a pistol... and it misfires! He's blinded by the flash, and the pistol itself spins off into the dark. (50 exp)
- Castirake is hit by a wolf, and the yellow fluid dripping from their teeth is revealed to be ghoul poison! The yellow muck seeps under the armour and Rake falls to his knees, stunned. (50 exp)
- The zombie arms coming from the walls and floor grapple anyone who's not constantly moving. Zena's rune is interrupted but Carrie's isn't! Blue Jon's familiar leads him out of the danger zone. (50 exp)
- Raaf stuffs a bunch of straw into a pistol to intentionally cause a misfire, then chucks it into the room! It's a partial success, and the blinding flash blinds a single wolf and Raaf himself. (50 exp)
- Zena stands over Rake, protecting him, while Bob cannonballs into one of the other wolves and murders it! (50 exp)
- Turn Undead goes off! It causes all the zombie arms to retract, and the hallway to even widen a bit as the zombies try to get away. (50 exp)- Zena protects Rake as best she can, but gets poisoned by one of the wolves for her trouble. She stays standing. (50 exp)
- Rake feels his muscles grinding as he resists the stun, but manages to cleave through both the remaining wolves with one massive swing of his massive axe! (50 exp)
- The party rest and recuperate for a bit, listening out for danger. They hear a voice, quickly hushed, giving orders. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon yells rude words at the voice, to no effect. (50 exp)
- They follow the corridor towards the voice, and run into a spiky trap! Luckily no casualties, but a fair amount of bruising. (50 exp)
- At last, they enter the main central room. The pestle is there! Upright in a hollowed-out hole in the zombie-filth-mat ground. (50 exp)
- Tons of zombies and stuff can be seen behind it. Rake moves up to the pestle and... "Surprise motherfucker!" The Zombiemaster guy is lying down in the hole! (50 exp)
- He ghost-blasts Rake into the ceiling, where he's grappled by a bunch of reaching zombies. The pestle moves in its hole and the whole island shudders! It's like a tiller! Several people fall to the ground. (50 exp)
- Zena dives to the ground and fires a scattershot charge at the zombies. Wide impact, but only one falls! (50 exp)

- Powerlad shots web under where Rake will land, also catching a whole bunch of zombies in the radius. Rake falls and has a soft landing. Phew! (50 exp)
- Bob the Dwarf cannonballs into a zombie's crotch, killing it. Meanwhile Blue Jon is trying to slap Castirake awake. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD jumps over the pestle-hole containing Mr Zombiemaster, sees him, and casts a Magic Missile! (50 exp)
- He plummets into the guy with a massive multi-hit combo that ends with Zombiemaster's arm being ground off at the shoulder by the pestle. Badass! (50 exp)
- His last words before POWERLAD stamps onto his face are "Please! I just wanted to make the best zombies!" (50 exp)
- The zombie hands reach out of the ground and tear his flesh to shreds, Shaun of the Dead style. (50 exp)
- The remaining zombies slump to the ground... and the island itself begins shaking as gobs of zombie flesh and filth begin raining from the ceiling. (50 exp)
- Time to bounce, but first - loot! The pestle, the Necromancer's skull staff and grimoire, and a packet of cigarettes are looted. (50 exp)
- The island continues to fall to bits as the zombies lose cohesion. The party manage to reach the surface in time to get crushed in, like what happened to John Snow after the Battle of the Bastards. (50 exp)
- Castigate discovers he's got new powers - Ghost Duel allows him to challenge a foe to single combat in the Ghost Dimension (50 exp)

- The Alabaster Oracle is pleased that they seized the Pestle! One down, two to go! They let her look after it for them. (50 exp)

- A shopping spree ensues as the party gear up for the next fetch quest item, and it turns out Construct Wars is on in the arena! (50 exp)
- Gambling, tripped up by more poor grasp of my own rules, ensues! (50 exp)
- It's Lance Corporeal vs Team Euphemism, with Lance Corporeal eventually seizing the day! Much money is won! (50 exp)

- Rake and Raaf philanthropise with their winnings. Such generosity! Rake's contribution is particularly well received and yet another statue to Rake is built in the town. He's really good at branding, I'll give him that. (50 exp)

Total: 2000 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Gambling Problem bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)

Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Caller (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (-)
- Guard (James / Raaf - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom, Henry - 100 exp)
- Philanthropy!
  - Rake philanthropised! (Rake - 1915 exp)
  - Raaf philanthropised! (Raaf - 496 exp)

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None! Despite some general paralysis

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 28900 (Level up at 32000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 29813 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 26606 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 25635 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 22170 (Level up at 32000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 12437 (Level up at 16000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 4 Cleric: 12202 (Level up at 14000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

Absent or Retired:- Ollie / Ollie's next character: +300 exp
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Session 143 - Let's Split Up, Gang!

Man, a whole lot happened this session due to a forcible dual session situation!
Always split the party. It is known.

One group went under the cathedral and found the secret research lair of a Necromancer.
The other group went into the forest and found the not-so-secret zombie lair of another Necromancer.

And TWO SESSIONS REMAIN before Henry disappears on us. He is now DRIVEN to complete the summoning fetch quest before he leaves! Godspeed.

Check out Tom's latest edition of the Moondin Trumpet attached, and enjoy these art attacks!

Tom depicts the brave Hacker's Halberdiers marching to their mutual deaths






- Charles doodles the session's major incidents and locations


- Tom draws the big ol' frog statue!


​- And James Ratman discovers the violence inherent in the system!

Session 143 - Let's Split Up, Gang!

Campaign Date:
Thursday, 4 July, 1660
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Gemini

New Characters:
- Hacker's Halberdiers, a ragtag group of Extras led by one Chuck Leratt. Ex-colporteurs, all.

New Backstory:
- Carrie has a horrifying secret - she's been crafting jewellery from the aborted foetuses of Moondin's prostitutes... then selling it on to Necromancers as macabre thematic jewllery. (Once per session, force a morale check by telling the table a new horrifying anecdote about something that actually happened to you)
Enemies Defeated:- 10 animated skeletons (100 exp)
- 2 big big animated skeletons (150 exp)
- Mrs Fasburg, Necromancer (75 exp)
- Some floor-zombies (20 exp)
- Mr Zombiemaster (100 exp)

Total: 445 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 1sp, 3cp (2 exp)
- Wooden jester mask
- Strange hollow metal object, vaguely gunlike
- 30gp, 250sp, 2500cp in a 1000sp-worth copper chest (3000 exp)

Total: 3002 exp

Exploration:- First party to meet the Frog Idol (200 exp)
- First party to reach the Zombie Master's Casa del Cadaver (200 exp)- Travelled 30 miles or so (100 exp)
- Explored 4 unexplored rooms (80 exp)
Total: 580 exp

Events:

- A message is received from Fate! A letter to Rake written by none other than fan favourite Guido! It's a conditional acceptance of Rake's new role as steward (50 exp)
- Given a choice of quests, the party picks... both!? (50 exp)
---Team Moonminster

- Waking up inside Moonminster, Rake has mysteriously vanished because Tom's decided to play as Hacker's Halberdiers tonight. (50 exp)
- It's a small group remaining in Moonminster, and POWERLAD has the bright idea to boost torch duration via oiled-up grave linen. Tinker time! Maybe it'll work! (50 exp)
- The uncharacteristically small team descends to the third level again... reaching the blood fountain. POWERLAD tastes it, expecting deleterious magical effects... but it's just blood. (50 exp)
- To the right, spooky blue light quavers from the cracks around a spooky door. Like that bit in ghost busters that fucked me up as a kid. (50 exp)
- Carrie investigates the door, but oh what's that? A left turn reveals a copper chest! The others are distracted! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD gets it open with Carrie's lockpicks. Lots of coins arranged in a bullseye pattern. Zena pokes it with a stick and CRIKEY! A COIN SNEK! (50 exp)
- Zena wrassles it and kicks it back against the wall, where it bursts into component coins. They begin reforming as soon as they lose cohesion. (50 exp)
- Carrie abandons the scary door (things move past the light occasionally, there's chanting) and grabs the snake! It works! (50 exp)
- The snake grabs back, hauling Carrie away. Zena strikes through at an angle, splintering a limb into multiple coins, while POWERLAD crits with his armour-busting dual hammers! (50 exp)
- The snake loses cohesion, Carrie is dropped, and it seems to be struggling to stick back together after that one! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD strikes forth once more... but the snake is ready and manages to damage the hammers. Dismay! (50 exp)
- Carrie manages to wrestle it and slams the majority of its body into the chest. Score! Unfortunately, wormlike, the severed snake wrings her neck! (50 exp)
- Zena stabs the snek a bunch, and POWERLAD finishes it off with damaged hammers! (50 exp)
- The coins clatter to the ground... and don't disappear! Phew! Loadsa money! (50 exp)
- With that threat dealt with, the chest gets dumped near the stairs up via a Take-Mass-Mass glyph. (50 exp)
- The glowing door is re-examined... and pulled open! Within, a proper Morticia Addams-style Necromancer in the midst of some DARK RITUAL! (50 exp)
- Zena calls out, and the Necromancer sends her skeletal minions to kill those who defile the family crypt! (50 exp)
- Zena's prepared... SCATTERSHOT! Saviour of all! Unfortunately skeletons resist non-smashy damage so they're not super affected. The Necromancer dives behind some of them and seems ok. (50 exp)
- A one-two combo of POWERLAD's Web and Carrie's Turn Undead force the skeletons to try to flee while also immobile. Zena tosses in a torch and closes the door. FWOOM! (50 exp)
- Somewhere, far off, a member of Hacker's Halberdiers says "Smoking... kills" to the confusion of his colleagues. (50 exp)
- After an appropriate amount of time, they reopen the door. Looks like the skeletons are all dead! At the end of the room, the Necromancer is frazzled but alive. (50 exp)
- Carrie rushes in to save her... but SURPRISE! Two big bone golem-types were stationed on either side of the door! (50 exp)
- She dodge-rolls between them while POWERLAD hits the Necromancer with a crossbow bolt to disrupt her casting! It works! Vindictive ghosts really hurt her. (50 exp)
- Zena and POWERLAD make short work of the big golem things. The fire really did a number on them. (50 exp)
- The Necromancer is bleeding out and pleads for her life. In a moment of compassion, Carrie first aids her and gets only half the potential ADAM. (50 exp)
- After a quick chat, it seems that she's been experimenting down here to push the boundaries of Necromancy! Down here she's far enough from the surface that hopefully nothing too bad will happen if something goes wrong. (50 exp)
- She tells the group about the pentagram-shaped corridors to the south, all with experimental traps to deter the increasingly active mould people, and that nobody should touch her treasure chest. (50 exp)
- "Ha ha treasure chest? Huh interesting no we didn't see it" etc (50 exp)
- Zena brings the Necromancer the corpses of the mould people as a peace offering and skeleton components. How nice! (50 exp)
- She gives them a gnarly key to open the door to the trap corridors, in case they want to check it out. They do! A flaming skull floats above a magical containment circle. Impressed, they sloooowly back out and close the door. (50 exp)
- They ask the Necromancer about the mould people. She reckons there's a whole network down here, full of mould. Doesn't know much else though because she rarely leaves her work. (50 exp)
- Also there's definitely a way into Moldus Vane's main lair if you follow the south wall to the bit with gigantic mushrooms growing through all the houses. Can't miss it! (50 exp)
- With that, the group hustle the rune-lightened chest up the stairs and out. Mercifully, the horde of mould people aren't outside any more. (50 exp)
- They head out to the safe zone, and on the way meet up with some uninfested escapees. After initial confusion over the party's strange helmets, they join forces and escape together. (50 exp)
--- Team Swamp
- Blue Jon is dead set on this Baba Yaga resurrection quest, and tells Castirake his plans. Castigate grants Blue Jon a letter saying that he's an ally of the Necromancers and not to be harmed. (50 exp)
- Hacker's Halberdiers, Rake's newly raised militia unit, is sent with Blue Jon! They are a motley band of colporteurs led by a shifty Ratman in a not-great disguise. (50 exp)
- They head off into the forest, following the instructions Blue Jon was given by the Oracle. Bizarrely enough, nothing randomly encounters them on the way. The only thing of note - a fallen wooden jester mask. (50 exp)
- Chuck Leratt grasps this clearly mystical object... and in a mirror of the blood drinking scene, this clearly spooky magic item turns out to just be a spooky non-magic item. Maybe... (50 exp)
- Leratt puts it on (a perfect disguise!) and strange tinkling laughter comes from the trees. Something rustles past in the trees above. (50 exp)
- Nevertheless they reach the area the Oracle spoke of. A grungy village, a smoking hill framing it, and nearby a big statue of a frog! (50 exp)
- They go straight to the frog statue as they were told. It's made of the same smooth white stone as the Alabaster Oracle, and when Blue Jon mentions her the whole statue animates! (50 exp)
- It has a big long slow voice and will talk bullshit for hours if you let it. I immediately enjoy playing this statue a lot. He talks for a while about a fly. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon explains his quest to unite the artifacts of Baba Yaga. The frog explains the items needed, her Pestle, Mortar and Broom, have been inconveniently spread out across the forest. (50 exp)
- He also opens his mouth to reveal that he contains Baba Yaga's heart. Bring all the items to him, and she could be resurrected! She kept the tentacle down in times long past, if she was brought back she could do it again. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon and Hacker's Halberdiers set off to find the Pestle, which the frog says is buried in the Zombie Island that floats in a lake to the south. Other components are the Mortar, used as a boat by "nixies", and the Broom which rests in the Heart of Thorns. (50 exp)
- On their way, they find a strange hollowed-out metal tube that looks a bit like a real-life-modern gun. Very strange. (50 exp)
- They reach the lake, and indeed there is a floating island made up of zombies, floating wood, and various detritus. Stranger still, there's a hut on top! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon's familiar is sent over to scout and knocks on the door. A strange, gaunt man opens the door and lets the familiar in. Odd. (50 exp)
- The Halberdiers begin swimming over to the island... and discover there are zombies underwater!!! (50 exp)
- It's fantasy fucking vietnam in here. Halberdiers are being dragged under the water left and right! Chuck Leratt desperately scrabbles for the zombie island shore! (50 exp)
- Seeing all this going down, Blue Jon lights a joint. Then he casts fly and stutter-glitches his way over the water. When he's near the hut, he casts Locate Object on the Pestle. It's inside the island itself! (50 exp)
- Chuck Leratt, the last surviving member of Hacker's Halberdiers, is pulled underwater to his death. Hacker's Halberdiers are dead. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon barely notices, and flies down to the shack door. He knocks, and the gaunt man with a skull-and-spine staff opens it. A zombie silently reaches up behind Blue Jon to grab him... but luckily it's seen in time! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon drifts upwards and out of reach and tries to talk to the man, using Castigate's letter as proof of his purpose. The man takes it and keeps it, then fires an Ectenic Blast out of his staff and throws Blue Jon into the sky! Blue Jon's blasting off again! (50 exp)
- He lands a while later and trudges, alone, towards Moondin. Eventually he reaches the city walls and meets up with Castirake, and they ride back towards the lake. (50 exp)
- A brief encounter with a Cunning Man stalls them when they end up back at Moondin. Wearily, they turn back around and try again. This time it works! (50 exp)
- Rather than risk swimming, Blue Jon lashes together a raft from wood and rope. Castigate casts Protection from Undead on the raft, and they use it to get across to the floating island. (50 exp)
- Castigate discovers that he's gotten stronger! He can now augment Rake's strength! (50 exp)
- They approach the shack again. The gaunt man opens the door again, and is surprised to see Castigate. He calls himself Mr Zombiemaster, and warns that if he's attacked he'll split the island into pieces and kill them both! (50 exp)
- Floor zombies grapple Rake, but they both fail. Strength Augment On! Castigate helps break the both of them free! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon is in worse shape, the zombies manage to wrestle him down to the ground! No worries, he's high. With a shout he summons the illusory black dragon! (50 exp)
- Somewhere, somehow, POWERLAD grumbles about intellectual property theft (50 exp)
- The dragon starts tearing the shack to pieces, and Mr Zombiemaster slams the door and runs inside. Rake pursues, but is stalled by grasping zombie hands! (50 exp)
- Castigate tells him to stop for a second, and casts Subjugate Dead! The zombies let Rake go, and he smashes in through the front door. (50 exp)
- The shack is empty... and an ominous hole in the floor seems to be the obvious escape route of Mr Zombiemaster. We end on this dramatic cliffhanger.
Total: 3350 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)

Total: 1200 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Charles - 100 exp ea.)

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Hacker's Halberdiers, pulled underwater one by one as they attempted to swim across a zombie-infested swamp

Exp Totals:
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 26964 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 25972 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 25201 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 21636 (Level up at 32000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 4 Cleric: 11768 (Level up at 14000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 11407 (Level up at 16000)- Tom / Hacker's Halberdiers, Level 1 Extras
*DECEASED*

Absent or Retired:- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 28366 (Level up at 32000)
- Ollie / Ollie's next character: +300 exp
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Session 142 - Dungeons and Dragons

Hey so this session contained both a DUNGEON and a DRAGON!
Session 142. We did it. Close the game, we won.
(Not really)
Also the dragon was imaginary so maybe doesn't count.

A non-classic split party situation today, as most of the party braved a perilous march into mould-held territory and Blue Jon met his most hated nemesis yet... the head librarian.
But also, Blue Jon discovered a classic fetch quest situation! Hurrah!

- Tom depicts Rake slaying a dragon!


- Tom also grants us insight into the local press release


- Charles doodles session events mid-remembrancy!

Session 142 - Dungeons and Dragons

Campaign Date:
Sunday, 29 June, 1660
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Gemini

New Backstory:
- Zena's demon-hunting days in the wilderness drew the demon's attentions. They were obsessed with hunting her down... and Zena knew fear. (Run away as fast as possible from an enemy that's attacking you to force it to switch targets)- POWERLAD ran away from home when his powers first began to manifest and had a whole origin story adventure that will appear in Issue 111 of the POWERLAD comic book. After several thrilling moral lessons, he returned to his worried and loving family. (+1 Wisdom)
- Carrie's lateral move from torturer to dominatrix ensured that she was adored by her "clients". Those under her employ hold her in similar regard. (Henchmen standing next to you are immune to morale)

Enemies Defeated:- An imaginary dragon 0 exp)
- A horde of mould junkies (100 exp)
- The rude librarian... conceptually one-upped (10 exp)
- 3 mould junkies (30 exp)
- 1 mould Cleric (75 exp)

Total: 215 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Grave goods (120 exp)
- A sandwich

Total: 120 exp

Exploration:
- 2 groups of randoms encountered (100 exp)
- First party to visit the Alabaster Oracle (100 exp)
- First party in a while to enter the second level of Moonminster Cathedral (200 exp)
- First party to enter the third level of Moonminster Cathedral (300 exp)
- Alternate entry to the third level of Moonminster Cathedral found (300 exp)
- 5 dungeons rooms explored (100 exp)
- 1 secret door discovered (50 exp)
- 1 group of wandering monsters encountered (50 exp)
Total: 1200 exp

Events:

- We open mostly on people getting on with getting to grips with the town. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon, meanwhile, heads to find whatever passes for a library here in Moondin. As luck would have it... the library is near the arena, but more or less unscathed. (50 exp)
- He enters and meets the surprisingly characterful head librarian. He inquires about a book on "The Heart of Thorns", paying through the nose for a library card but getting the book for a week (50 exp)
- Bookspeak, once again, turns out to be almost OP when combined with the book system. Blue Jon discovers the Heart of Thorns' nature, location, origin, and that the location is suitable for 4-8 players between levels 2-5. How knowledgable! (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Rake seeks to abuse-but-not-abuse-too-much his new station as Steward of Moondin, and heads to the stables. (50 exp)
- As he enters, the shifty overweight stablemaster hurriedly hides the alterket she was just getting ready. Rake studiously pretends to have missed it. (50 exp)
- His horse of choice? The strangely named Pippi's Saudi's Mighty Lady. He buys some armour for her in the hopes of forestalling the group's track record with horses. (50 exp)
- Nix and Carrie head to the red light district. Carrie carries her newly purchased self-flagellating silver holy symbol. (50 exp)
- A scheme is enacted and a press conference is called. POWERLAD stands ready to summon an imaginary dragon. Rake smokes a joint to counteract the illusion. Blue Jon gets his familiar ready to give Rake orders. (50 exp)
- Castigate acts as a megaphone for Rake's voice as he begins an empowering speech... and behind him the enormous black dragon emerges, roaring! (50 exp)
- Rake can't see it and is slow to react (because he's high) but the familiar gives him instructions! He leaps onto his horse and turns to face the great beast! (50 exp)
- His timing is a bit off because he's high and can't see it, but nobody's going to notice that in all the fear and excitement! With a great flourish, Rake rides along the dragon's belly with the Castigate Axe, "killing" the great beast. (50 exp)
- As it disappears, Blue Jon blasts some magic missiles at the ground in an attempt to make it look like there was a real ghost dragon here. (50 exp)
- Rake addresses the crowd, now even more impressed with Rake and his abilities. What a hero! (50 exp)
- We also discover that Castigate has gained more power - now killing someone with him sucks their soul into the axe, allowing Castigate to use it as Last Breath. (50 exp)
- Oil, hay and gunpowder is purchased while the party discusses next steps at great length. Quell Moonminster? Eliminate the Heart of Thorns? Embezzle treasury money? (50 exp)
- Rake calls a vote - Moonminster it is! Anti-mould prep begins. POWERLAD puts together a strange invention - a diving helmet-style mask with emergency air supply. Neat! (50 exp)
- In case it doesn't work, the traditional anti-mould masks are also prepped ready to go. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon does some initial scouting by sending his familiar into the cathedral in mould rat form. Things seem mouldy in there, surprise surprise. Trapdoors under the god's altars are noted. (50 exp)
- Everyone is ready to go except for Blue Jon, who's going to the library to find out some stuff about the Heart of Thorns. The librarian is a dick and Blue Jon hates him. (50 exp)
- After extorting money out of Blue Jon for a library card and various fees, the librarian lets him borrow the book. Bookspeak is utilised to find out a bunch of stuff, much of it useful. (50 exp)
- Not knowing where Blue Jon is (he's arguing with the librarian again), the rest set off towards Moonminster. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon goes back to the library with some guards in an attempt to strongarm the librarian. Everyone in the library is looking at Blue Jon with annoyance and reflected embarrassment. He has a strop and vindictively steals the librarian's lunch. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile everyone else has reached the cathedral! They approach the breach in the wall, only to discover that there are a bunch of mould people there trying to repair it and telling the party to stay away! (50 exp)
- Rake and Carrie investigate the graveyard, hoping that the mausoleums have some convenient secret dungeon access, while Raaf sticks around to chat to the mouldmen. (50 exp)
- Blue Jon, finally at least somewhat satisfied with his bookspeaking, decides to catch up with the party. But he's waylaid! The alabaster oracle, strange marble automaton, runs into him and declares that entering Moonminster will mean his DOOOOOMM!!! (50 exp)
- She tells him to meet her in the hill-caves in the forest... she knows a way to fight the tentacle and bind it forevermore. (50 exp)
- He's totally spooked by her prophesy and decides to seek her out! Cool beans! (50 exp)
- The Fasburg mausoleum is investigated... Rake and Carrie try to breach it and make a lot of noise! Mould folk begin swarming from their houses towards the interlopers! The other party members quickly join Rake. (50 exp)
- The entrance to the graveyard is Webbed to slow the horde down, and POWERLAD manages to get the lock open with joke-turned-artifact jerky lockpick. (50 exp)
- They pile into the mausoleum, hoping it's got room for everyone. The door is blocked from the inside, and the team descend... (50 exp)
- Blue Jon gets a horse and rides out into the forest! I sure hope no random encounters get him! (50 exp)
- As luck would have it, they don't! He reaches the series of low hills rising from boggy marsh that the Oracle lives amongst with her strange cult. (50 exp)
- She says she can read the future, and amongst her acolytes are both mouldy and non-mouldy people. How strange! (50 exp)
- Apparently she knows of an ancient witch killed by heroes long past whose rituals kept the tentacle down. She is Baba Yaga, and might be resummoned if her Pestle, Mortar and Broom can be found. (50 exp)
- She knows not where these items can be found... but her statue-husband to the north knows. Blue Jon agrees to this quest, and sets off back to his favourite haunt - the library! (50 exp)
- Over in the mausoleum, various things are found. Paris catacombs-esque bone piles. Nice sarcophagi for grandparents. That sort of thing. (50 exp)
- Castigate recommends looting everything. The Necromancers are running out of essentials like bone powder! They'd have ripped this whole graveyard up already if the mould people weren't an issue! (50 exp)
- Grandparent sarcophagi are discovered to have grave goods. Yoink! (50 exp)
- Grandiose sarcophagi for the main husband and wife are inspected... the wife's contains stairs! Secret entrance! (50 exp)
- The stairs go down some way, turning back on level 2 and finally coming out in the depths of dungeon level 3. ooOOOoOoo. (50 exp)
- At the bottom, a pretty rad blood fountain. Also, voices are heard! Some mould people come round the corner, see the party, and run back the other way! (50 exp)
- The party give chase, Nix and Rake in the lead. A voice intones "flee!" and Nix is overcome with a compulsion to run away! Turns out there's a mould Cleric in the group! (50 exp)
- No problem for Rake, who cleaves through a couple of mould men and nearly murders the Cleric too in one swing. Their spirits are sucked into Castigate's soul gem. (50 exp)
- Zena strikes in with a polearm, and POWERLAD finishes off the Cleric with a mighty two-fisted head crush attack. Enemy down! (50 exp)
- With the third floor shortcut found and some dudes murdered, the excursion is deemed a success. The party go back up to the mausoleum and close the sarcophagus behind them. Time to nap! (50 exp)
- Blue Jon has reached the library and advances on his most hated foe - the head librarian. Much banter ensues as he tries to get books on Shub-Niggurath and Baba Yaga. (50 exp)
- Next time... a choice of quests! What will the party do?! (50 exp)
Total: 2400 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Spoopy bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)

Total: 850 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Zena - 100 exp)
- Caller (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Tom / Rake - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Henry / Blue Jon - 100 exp)- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Kitty, Fraser - 100 exp ea.)

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None!

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 5 Barbarian: 28366 (Level up at 32000)
- Tom / Rake Hacker, Level 5 Fighter: 24934 (Level up at 32000)
- Henry / Blue Jon Goujon, Level 5 Magic-User: 24242 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23671 (Level up at 36000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 5 Fighter: 19906 (Level up at 32000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 4 Specialist: 10338 (Level up at 12000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 9977 (Level up at 16000)

Absent or Retired:- Ollie / Ollie's next character: +300 exp
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 17372 (Level up at 18000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- Tom / Insanity Mammoth, Level 3 Barbarian: 5192 (Level up at 8000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)