Tuesday, 28 November 2017

Session 159 - Dies Eye-Ray

Session 159 - Dies Eye-Ray

Campaign Date:
Monday, 23 November, 1600
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Scorpio

New Characters:
- Friar, a Magic-User who happened to be wandering around in the Barrowmaze and came to see what all the boss fight fuss was about.
- Clarence Eclair, a cartographer and scholar briefly Charmed by Seraph on the day of her martyrdom

New Backstory:
- Seraph fought in a small-scale Termaxian rebellion over on the continent after being radicalised. (+1 Str)
- Bertha's mother, dying of some charnel disease, told Bertha the secret that shattered her world... "There's no money left, you'll have to become a prostitute". (+1 Wis)
- Ratimir was in the midst of a bank robbery with a gaggle of fellow rats when he was wounded. He told his friends to go on without him... but they all got gunned down. Ratimir spent agonising hours slowly crawling through the bodies and hid in a fountain until the heat was off. (While fleeing, can grant your Flee die result to another)

Enemies Defeated:
- A Beholder (1500 exp)
- 4 ghouls (200 exp)
- 2 shambling shrubs (1000 exp)
- Seraph's executioner (10 exp)
- 90 so-called innocents (0 exp)
Total: 2710 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Your lives! And briefly a potion.
- The spell Tear the Veil Asunder
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled around 40 miles (140 exp)
- Explored 3 dungeon rooms (60 exp)
Total: 200 exp

Events:
- In the Barrowmaze, a deadly battle for survival against the mighty BEHOLDER stands on a knife edge. Sacrifices will have to be made if anyone is going to make it out alive... (50 exp)
- In Fortress-City Fate, amidst the billowing steam and groaning metal of a brass city undergoing some strange metamorphosis, Seraph asks passers-by if they've heard of a certain library containing a certain forbidden book of extreme heresy. (50 exp)
--- Team Barrowmaze

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- We zoom back into the fight that was left on a cliffhanger last time. An eye-of-many-eyes BEHOLDER chained above a swirling pit of souls, several yellow-clawed GHOULS striking in to attack the PARTY who cower by the double doors. (50 exp)
- Nix is compelled to attack her friends, aiming a supremely deadly punch right at Randy... but in that split second before caving in his face she stops. Randy's her friend! The Charm is broken! (50 exp)
- Unfortunately the ghouls don't have such compunctions about ripping Randy to shreds, and he's swiftly savaged by their poisonous claws. He barely survives. (50 exp)
- One of Ratimir's rats is scurrying around on the Beholder's head, disrupting one of its attacks, but it still blasts out with two other eye beams. A scintillating yellow ray hits poor Randy, who is immediately stunned. (50 exp)
- The other beams out and hits Galaxy Johnson with a sleep beam... but Elves don't sleep! Go go space alien! (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson parries many ghoul-blows, swinging under the guard of one and stabbing in with his pick. Nice! He gets hit a couple of times, but Elves are immune to ghoul poison for weird legacy reasons. It's good to be him! (50 exp)
- Friar, a Magic User, turns up at the back of the group and is immediately trusted by all. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson dives back to shut one half of the door. He nearly falls over Ratimir, who managed to fuck up a gambit and told his rats to "go for the eyes!" without telling them which eyes. He writhes on the ground, trying to get his rats to stop trying to blind him. (50 exp)
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- Just in time, Bertha cuts through with a powerful Subjugate Dead. She can see the spirits whirling from the portal... and by the way they swirl she can make out where everyone is! She can almost see again! (50 exp)
- All four of the ghouls freeze mid-attack... and turn around towards the Beholder. It doesn't have time to fight back as they fall upon it with their paralysing claws! (50 exp)
- It tries to fight back, stunning one and turning the other to stone, but is overcome by the stunning poison flowing through its veins. It drops down into the pit and into the maelstrom, bouncing on the chains. (50 exp)

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- Bertha uses her soul-sight to enter the room and investigate the Pit of Souls. She sees the statue of Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus in full armour, throttling a tentacle. She also sees the the pit is surrounded by magical writings... it's a spell! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD shows up finally and is horrified to see that Bertha has been blinded... and by one of his own crossbows no less! (50 exp)
- A couple of large motile shrub monsters begin crawling out of the pit. Nix and Bertha's ghoulfriends run in to attack as they crest the edge of the pit. (50 exp)
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- Friar blasts one of the crawling shrubs with Faerie Fire, outlining it in vivid violet and making it easier to hit. (50 exp)
- Together with Friar, Bertha and POWERLAD begin tearing pages out of one of Bertha's books and take rubbings of the carven spell. (50 exp)
- One of the ghouls kicks a shrub into a pit. Hardcore. (50 exp)
- Ratimir sends his rat swarms into glorious battle, and the other shrub squishes one. Just one. (50 exp)
- The rubbing is complete! Everyone disengages, Bertha led by POWERLAD. They flee for the exit... and they make it! To my very great surprise, the blatant TPK-to-be has ended with no deaths! (50 exp)
--- Team Seraph
- Seraph wanders the streets of Fate, halo radiant, asking if anybody's heard of the Library of Jumurak, (50 exp)
- Nobody really has, but she is approached by a skeezy looking guy who asks her if she's interested in a plan for a "change of management" in Fate. If she is, head to Wizzbang Will's and ask for Slim. (50 exp)
- She declines for now and heads to the grand Library of Fate to hunt for information. She's already bought citizenship, so flashes her ID card to access the library. (50 exp)

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- She heads to the history of Fortress-City Fate section and begins looking stuff up, discovering that the Battlefortress is human-pilotable, and can be piloted by a single person at that! (50 exp)

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- Satisfied for now, she decides to hit up Wizzbang Will's place and investigate. On her way out, she Charms a scholar to research Fortress-City Fate for her, but then tells him what she's done for a weird "I've dominated your psyche but we can still be friends right?" vibe. (50 exp)
- She heads for Wizzbang WIll's on the transport links, arriving to find a garishly coloured drug shop/drug den with a bored guy tending the shop. She asks for "Slim", and is blindfolded and led through a few doors until she gets to Jimmy's office. (50 exp)

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- It's Slim Jimmy! But he's like 85, real real old. And of course, Seraph doesn't know him herself. He explains that there's a plot to depose the Fated Queen, expose her as an Elf, and blame her for all the apocalyptic shenanigans. (50 exp)
- As he speaks, there is a faint yell from outside, and later a door banging. He perks up at the noises, looking oddly at Seraph as he does so, but these are ignored. (50 exp)
- Seraph agrees to be the figurehead of the rebellion, preaching Termaxianism, and says she will need to understand what's going on with the city is she is to help take it over. (50 exp)
- Slim Jimmy nods and says "alright then", and suddenly armed guards burst into the room! "Get down on the ground!" (50 exp)
- "I apologise. You must understand that the security of the city is paramount in these uncertain times" says Jimmy as he presses a button and his chair falls backwards into an escape hatch in the wall. (50 exp)
- The guards tell Seraph she's under arrest for sedition, and Seraph complies. She is cuffed and frogmarched through the streets. She blesses beggars as she goes along, an innocent angel arrested by brutal guards. (50 exp)
- As the cathedral looms in the distance, Seraph tries one last thing - popping the last two of those weird mushrooms that originally turned her into an Elf! One turns her hair bright yellow, the other makes her trip balls! (50 exp)
- She fades out into a riot of noise and synesthesia. She hears a thousand voices murmering, hears those voices cheering and shouting, feels rough hands sit her down. There is a moment when someone says "are you alright?" (50 exp)
- There is a loud imperious voice. A cavernous voice. A hundred cries of shock and anger and elation. There is a basket, and she sees the weave at the bottom of it. She's lying on a bed looking into a basket woven of basket of woven of weave. (50 exp)
- There is a sharp steel sound. She is suddenly standing, looking at herself, as the blade of a guillotine descends treacle-slowly towards her neck, She has cast Comes the Godhead, and her yellow hair writhes through the air like a nest of serpents. (50 exp)

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- The blade touches the back of her neck and she is eclipsed by a burning white orb of holy fire. The flash of bright energy evaporates everything for 50' around, annihalating the guillotine, the platform, the executioner, the priests, and nearly a hundred people in a wide circle. (50 exp)
- The Fated Queen, from the balcony of the Church of Nine Corners, looks on in horror as Seraph ascends to Martyrdom. (50 exp)
--- Team Barrowmaze
- Back in Helix, the party settle down for a well-earned rest. Bertha checks out the rubbings, discovering that the spell is called Tear the Veil Asunder and requires at least a hundred Necromancers, a full lunar cycle, and the deaths of a hundred of the Necromancers involved in the ritual. It tears a hole into Death, which is presumably what keeps the tentacles down when you use the spell. (50 exp)
- Bertha and POWERLAD head to the wizard's tower to ask that weirdo wizard about cures for blindness. (50 exp)
- He only knows that Clerics have spells for restoring blindness, and also has a bunch of randomised potions that he forgot to label and will sell on the cheap. (50 exp)
- Ratimir buys a potion, chugs it down without reading the label, and becomes temporarily powerful! He draws a ton more rats towards him before the potion wears off, creating a large rat army! (50 exp)- Bertha tries to persuade the wizard to teach her the spell that made him immortal, but he refuses rudely. Too many immortal wizards around, donchaknow. (50 exp)
- Mildly annoyed, the party debate what to do next. A whirling flock of crows flies overhead, screeching "Resist the final dogma!" and similar. The party flag him down to ask him what's going on. (50 exp)

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- "Cyrus has initiated the Final Dogma!" he caws, "It's the order to kill all mankind and raise them as Dead for the final battle for all creation!" (50 exp)
- Seeing as that's fucked up, Cardinal Scream has gone rogue. He's got no real plan other than to save as many lives as possible, damn the consequences. (50 exp)
- He flies off again, and after a vote to see what they should do next, the party decide it's time to hit up the Gravity Dragon and see if they can help wake it up to defeat the tentacles. (50 exp)
- On their way, they see distant Dead marching to murder mankind, and a patch of ground where worms writhe out of the very earth. (50 exp)
- They reach the floating mountain of the gravity dragon. Winged figures swoop around the heights, waterfalls flow upwards, and a whole lot of floating boulders form a climbable spiral all the way up to the mountain itself . (50 exp)

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- The climb ends at a natural dungeon entrance on the underside of the floating mountain - a cave of shiny and reflective mirrored black rock. The reflections that reflect and reflect and reflect from the surfaces seem to move after, and before, you do. (50 exp)
- Also weird, gravity shifts 90 degrees as you climb up into the entrance. You can look straight ahead and be staring directly down towards the ground. (50 exp)
- The party start moving towards some muffled voices, and gravity suddenly inverts! POWERLAD casts Featherfall quickly, and the party land safely and softly on the ceiling. Spooked, they continue. (50 exp)
- Reaching the source of the voices, POWERLAD recognises who it is... Banjo Fishwick! More specifically, like ten Banjo Fishwicks all hanging out together! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD speaks to them, and they ask where his wife is. "Right here, actually" he says, pointing to Bertha. The Banjo Fishwicks are shocked, he's an anomalous POWERLAD! (50 exp)
- One of them excitedly agrees to guide the party to the head of the gravity dragon. An anomalous POWERLAD! What a cool surprise! (50 exp)
Total: 2500 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Bookworm bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Poison is OP bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOOoOOOoOooky bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1350 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Fraser*2 - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Fraser, Tom - 500 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Meme bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- An Hero bonus (Tom - 200 exp)
- Awesome Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
Rumours:
The Witch Queen has taken over an old tower that the sea once claimed, at low tide you can just see the tops of the spires.
- The Dead cannot see through the sheer life energy of a tree! Hide behind one and they cannot find you.

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Seraph was executed for crimes against the state, destroying everything around her with holy fire as her final act.

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 7 Barbarian: 64252 (Level up at 128000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Levelup Table! +backstory!
--- Randy, Level 1 Hench-Dwarf: 1297 (Level up at 2200)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 4 Elf (Alpdrucke): 12649 (Level up at 24000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +Saves! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 6934 (Level up at 12000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 6731 (Level up at 9000)
- Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Elf (Living Saint): 3973 (Level up at 6000)
*EXECUTED*- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 2 Specialist: 2940 (Level up at 3000)*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points! +backstory!
- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
Absent or Retired:
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 53279 (Level up at 72000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Monday, 20 November 2017

Session 158 - The Beginning of the End

Dark days ahead for the world, and for the Barrowmaze party.
Will they survive? And even if they do, will they survive the end of days?

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- The Word of Seraph Dawnstride continues

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- I have been baptised!

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- Galaxy Johnson's wrist-mounted energy cannon designs



Session 158 - The Beginning of the End

Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 18 November, 1600
Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent
Zodiac: Libra

New Backstory:
- Bertha married POWERLAD! for money at first, but over time she's come to love him dearly. (+1 Intelligence)
- Ratimir was sent to Room 101... as the rat that got put in that face cage. He feels great remorse for doing the work at the behest of the ruling human overclass... even though he went back to his torturous work night after night. (+1 to repeat a successful action)
- Before Coalminer Dan found Galaxy Johnson's soul gem, it was found by a group of grubby goblins. He chose not to possess them because they were below his station, but they truly adored their strange glowing god. (Henchmen standing next to you are immune to morale)

Enemies Defeated:
- A bunch of mongreloids (40 exp)
- Some giant flies (100 exp)
- Some giant spiders (200 exp)
Total: 340 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Poison fang
- Potion #197
- Potion #248
- Ring with catseye gem (1100 exp)
Total: 1100 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 10 dungeon rooms (200 exp)
- Secret door found (50 exp)
- First party to find the Pit of Souls (1000 exp)
- 4 wandering monsters rolled (200 exp)
- First party to pass through Rote (500 exp)
- First party to enter Fortress-City Fate in half a century (1000 exp)
- Travelled like 100 miles (850 exp)
Total: 3800 exp

Events:
- The party awaken in the forest glade, statue quiescent. The ground trembles. As they stumble back to Helix, blinding white light burns briefly through the leaves overhead. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson and Seraph feel their Elven powers waxing to maximum - this is the time of the New Moon. Galaxy Johnson's skin dulls to an ashen grey, and Seraph's head is set with a glowing halo of light. (50 exp)
- The party emerge from the woods to find everyone in Helix standing around gawping at the sky. Seraph takes the opportunity for some good old fashioned "THE END IS NIGH!". (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson uses his enhanced climbing powers to spookily crawl his way up the church spire to get a better look at the goings-on. (50 exp)
- It's looking crazy out there. Objects are falling from the heavens, the earth shakes, wiggling lines emerge, and a violent spear of light beams down towards something over the horizon creating shimmering aurorae. (50 exp)

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- Seraph is gripped with the need to warn the Fated Queen about what has happened, steals a horse, and rides out. Onwards! (50 exp)
- The rest decide that following the map to the danger zone will lead to the Ossuary of All Bones and thus control of all Dead in Loegria. The team set off to the Barrowmaze once again. (50 exp)
--- Team Seraph
- Seraph heads out alone under the falling sky. The ferryman to Treehole comments that the water level of the river seems to be getting lower. In every town she passes, people are out of their houses staring. Those who see her are amazed and fall down, praising. (50 exp)
- The road is long, but Seraph keeps going. Passing through Fisket and heading off down the coast at a steady pace. As she passes through Rote, she checks out outgoing vessels in the port. Several seem interesting, but she continues along the road. (50 exp)

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- As she gets closer to Fate she sees it has a roiling cloud of steam rising above it. Spikes of light keep beaming down in the distance. She reaches the outside tramline station of Dead End and takes the fancy Fate transport links all the way to the Sciotherico. (50 exp)
- Seeing the several long queues into the audience chamber, Seraph tries something fancy - she snorts a line of fairy dust and rises above the crowd. With her golden halo and her beatific smile, the crowd are amazed and part for her! (50 exp)

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- The crowds have bowed down, and the guards ask her what she needs with worshipful eyes. She says she has been sent from heaven to speak with the Fated Queen, and does not mention that she took the tube here. (50 exp)
- She is led to the Queen's audience chamber, past the rows of bank teller-style boxes and the Actuarial Halls. It is guarded by stern men with brass helmets and steel spears. In awe, they let her pass. (50 exp)
- The Fated Queen sits upon her throne. It is, of course, Jade. Seated to her sides and behind her are her advisors - a skull on a pillar to her right, an androgynous high-collared bald figure on her left, and a man in shadow with black cloth around his eyes elevated behind. (50 exp)
- "Well, this is new" starts Jade, who fairly quickly surmises that Seraph must be an Elf like her, probably also a Wastrel, and demonstrates her own face-shifting ability. (50 exp)
- The skull on the pillar chatters quiet advice. It's Guido, of course! If only we could tell him that we're happy he made it out of Mt Death Frost, but alas, that was a former age. (50 exp)
- Seraph informs the Queen that the Mould is defeated as the result of a wish, but that same wish resulted in Shub-Niggurath beginning to rise. We now need every single person to help fight the abomination! (50 exp)
- An increasingly confused and angry Fated Queen thanks Seraph for the information, but reveals that she herself might be in over her head. Ancient failsafes are triggering, nobody knows what's going on, and it seems that the city itself is reconfiguring into "Battlefortress Fate" whatever that is. (50 exp)
- She dismisses Seraph to give herself time to think, but Seraph racks up another line of fairy dust. She zips in to nab Guido, discovers that his head is attached to a long spin going into the pillar, and then just flies away out the window giving everyone the finger. (50 exp)

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- The crowds see the angel ascend from a shattered window of the Sciotherico, surrounded with glittering glass, and fly out and away. A great portent indeed! (50 exp)
--- Team Bertha
- Bertha, Nix, Randy, Ratimir and Galaxy Johnson jump off Grim Charlie's wagon and rush towards the Barrowmaze. It's speedrun time! (50 exp)

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- They reach the snake-of-snakes room. Ratimir and Galaxy Johnson crawl across the ceiling to distract it while everyone else sprints through. Keep going! (50 exp)
- Some chanting from the temple room draws attention. Inside, some robed figures. Nix puts on her long-kept egg necklace and... hears their tentacle speech! They praise the tentacle! (50 exp)
- Whatever. They shut the door and run on at a rapid pace! In the rock monster room some muffled shushing is heard, and as the party run out the other side there is an audible sigh of relief. (50 exp)
- Some of those mixed-species mongrel people are in the way. Galaxy points his wrist cannon and demands to know where the Ossuary of All Bones is, but they flee screaming. (50 exp)
- The secret door aka the furthest point yet seen is reached. Inside, there is a strange buzzing sound... (50 exp)
- It's undead flies! Like, big ones. Obviously. Otherwise it would be silly. Nix takes one down handily, while Galaxy Johnson uses his new shadow-shifting-near-walls ability to evade attack. Bertha sucks down a Last Breath and breathes - "OBEY!" (50 exp)

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- All three remaining giant flies are hers to command! Ratimir summons his rodent comrades and they speak much of communism, and that the next room contains spiders! (50 exp)

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- Opening the door, there do seem to be a lot of dead flies on the floor. The map is consulted. It seems that whoever drew the map screwed up somewhere along the line... (50 exp)
- Fuck it. The flies charge in to kill one spider in a real role reversal, while Ratimir's rats swarm another with cries of "сука блядь!!!!" (50 exp)
- The spiders are pretty well owned. Good work. Galaxy Johnson seizes a venomous fang. Nice! (50 exp)
- A secret door is discovered and a lone skeleton is smashed before it can so much as mime "don't shoot!". I feel kinda sorry for him, he must have been waiting behind that door for ages. (50 exp)
- Also behind the door... a fountain! It says "Pay Your Dues". Nix flips some coins in and it totally works! Potions float to the surface. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson tosses a baggie of Otherpot in, but a hand grabs it and throws it back while an ominous voice says "this is mysteriously light for an ounce of weed!" (50 exp)
- Bertha cuts herself and drips blood into the fountain. The water-spirits within speak, and raise coins to the surface with their watery hands. Nobody takes their bait of entering the water to get the goooold. (50 exp)
- Consulting the map again, something's gone wrong. It takes a bit of backtracking to get back on the right path, but they do it! There's a portcullis in the way, but Nix lifts it easily with the help of Randy's size beam. (50 exp)
- A bunch of reliefs of different times the Dead sealed a tentacle are all the way along one wall. The next room, beyond another portcullis, has a bunch of holes in the ground... (50 exp)
- Bertha votes for ignoring them, but Ratimir has other ideas. He sends a rat down one of the holes... and it sets off some paralyzing darts! Nix and Galaxy go down for ten minutes. Oops. (50 exp)

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- Ratimir sends rats down all the others, finding a few bits and pieces and a cat's eye gem worth a fair amount of money! Hurrah! (50 exp)
- It's the home stretch. With glee, Bertha leads the way towards the big double doors marked Danger on the map. Nice! There is a roaring rushing sound behind the door. (50 exp)
- It opens into a large room, a pit with purple-black energy swirling in it in the centre, and a big statue of a vampire in roman bronze at the back of the room. (50 exp)
- More importantly, there's strange creature chained so that it floats over the pit. A big eyeball with many other eyeballs on stalks around it's head. Finally a proper D&D monster - the Beholder! (50 exp)
- Nix puts on her tentacle egg necklace and hears nothing but screams. Randy goes for the Size beam again and increases her beefiness! (50 exp)
- She tries to speak to the Beholder, but it only cackles madly in several different voices. There is a great stench as three yellow fluid-dripping creatures crawl out of the pit as its eyes roll crazily. (50 exp)
- Its central eye goes black, and Nix finds herself shrinking. It's an anti-magic field! (50 exp)
- The ghouls rush Galaxy Johnson and Randy, and the Beholder shuts off the anti-magic field for long enough to zap Nix with an eye ray! She fails the save... and is charmed into wanting to protect the Beholder. (50 exp)
- Ratimir gambits, flinging a rat towards the beholder's head where it begins chewing through one of the beholder's eye stalks! (50 exp)
- Bertha takes aim with her crossbow and gambits, trying to blind the beholder's central eye... but she gets a double miss. The bolt goes wide and the crossbow string snaps back into her eyes. Bertha is blind! (50 exp)
- The party is left on a cliffhanger. Nix charmed, Bertha blind, and a bunch of stinky ghoul things in prime position to paralyze... things are looking dire. (50 exp) 
Total: 2500 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Master of Disguise bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- SpOOoOOoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (James / Ratimir - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Seraph - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Fraser - 200 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Tom - 500 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)

Rumours:
- There are goblins among the Dead, friend. They can't be turned into skeletons or zombies or nothin' so the Dead just ignore 'em.
- It is the time of revelations! The earth is being torn asunder, angels fall from the sky to judge Man! Pray to the Nine, only they can save us!
- The merchant vessels from Rote go to new and strange lands, from the Northern Wastes to the Lost World of Darkest Africa!
- Mt Deathfrost has never been successfully invaded. Everyone who has gone there has died.
- Bring dogs with you whenever you must go into the deeper deadlands. The Dead detest dogs, and will always kill them first.

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. (Liquidated)
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Bertha, blinded by a crossbow gambit gone bad

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 62312 (Level up at 64000)
--- Randy, Level 1 Hench-Dwarf: 777 (Level up at 2200)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 3 Elf (Alpdrucke): 11309 (Level up at 12000)
- James / Ratimir, Level 4 Ratman: 6934 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! Max rats: 16! +backstory!
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 3 Necromancer: 4891 (Level up at 9000)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
- Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 2 Elf (Living Saint): 3973 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!
Absent or Retired:
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 53279 (Level up at 72000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Nix's Retainer
--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)
- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)

Wednesday, 15 November 2017

Session 157 - Candy Crushers

This is REALLY LATE so fuck it I'm sending it now, see you guys in half an hour. COMING IN HOT!

The Halloween Special was a hell of a ride.
Terrifyingly fluffy poodles, adorably murderous cherubs, and a beautiful unicorn of ancient doom.

Plus, massive campaign upheaval!
We're here for a good time, not for the end times.


Excerpt from The Termaxian Battletome, Book of Seraph, Chapter 3 verses 1-6. 1 On the first day of her time in Loegria, Seraph, who is known as Sister Dawnstride, and her disciples came to the woods of Helix, near Moondin, that is known today as Rakedin. 2 There they found the kingdom of the half-men, and, having been met with some resistance, went against the infidels. 3 On the second day Seraph said: “Go, now, and slay the half-men. For though they wear upon their faces sweet smiles, in their hearts is nought but sin.” And so it is that on All Hallow’s Eve the priests of Termax go from door to door slaughtering those below four feet in the name of the LORD. 4 On the third day, that is All Hallow’s Eve, Seraph and her disciples went to the Tower of the Princess, to whose rule the half-men were bound. Seraph and the Princess quarrelled, and in their quarrelling both were cast from the tower. 5 The LORD looked upon Seraph, and said, “let she who cometh in the name of the LORD fall with the grace of a feather.” And lo, Seraph fell to the ground and suffered no wounds. 6 Seraph said, “Rejoice thee, Princess, for thy death is without sin,” and the Princess was slain.
Tom announces unto us the word of the LORD





Session 157 - Candy Crushers

Campaign Date:
Sunday, 14 November, 1600
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Libra

New Characters:
-
 Seraph Dawnstride, a Termaxian Cleric with a familiar name.

New Backstory:
- Galaxy Johnson pissed off an inquisitor on his home planet over some indescribable alien issue. His soul was encased in a crystal and flung into the depths of space as punishment. The crystal eventually reached Earth, where it was discovered by a coalminer named Dan. (At will, cause a creature to prioritise you)

Enemies Defeated:
- A big ol' bear (100 exp)
- Mr Sparkles the Unicorn (1000 exp)
- A little girl (0 exp)
Total: 1100 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Book #214 - The Accursed hexenbracken
- Book #192 - Heliocentrism
- Book #120 - Misted Cymry
- Book #250 - General Anatomy
- Book #154 - The nature of Death
- Book #111 - Ninhursag, Clathrate Dragon
- Potion #33
- Potion #182
- Vial of Madness Spores
- Goblin Key locks any door
- Sign of the Blinded Gods
- Poison recipe
- 3 bottles of poisoned honey wine
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled for half a day through the forest (50 exp)
- First party to visit the Land of Milk and Honey (200 exp)
Total: 250 exp
Events:- It is the spoookiest time of year in the real world and this spooOoOOoky energy has compelled our group of debatable heroes to find the Halloween Special! (50 exp)
- A group of Halfling refugees, displaced from their ancestral home by the strange goings-on in the western Forest of Moondine, were recently seen travelling into the straggly Elf forest north of Helix... but they haven't been seen since. (50 exp)
- The party sets off, Galaxy Johnson back in control of Coalminer Dan's body now that the moon is right. Travelling through the scraggly trees, the foliage begins to get more lush. Suddenly, a boar! (50 exp)
- It has red glowing eyes and stamps the ground angrily! Loki approaches, seemingly mollifying it, before Carrie slips a gimp mask over its head and angers it! (50 exp)
- Loki jumps on its back, using the gimp mask's reins to hold on! Carrie runs back to the now-maskless gimp and they stretch a whip across the boar's path! (50 exp)
- It's fucking slapstick mayhem as the whip gets caught on the boar's tusks and Carrie and her gimp are dragged along behind! On top of the boar, Loki begins to cast a spell! (50 exp)

Inline images 11

- He tries to spell swap but the attempt goes awry, the magic coalescing around him and the boar... suddenly both are transformed into orange goop! Carrie and the gimp skid through the puddle of former boar and elf, horrified and/or aroused. (50 exp)
- A vial of Loki's former form is scooped up into a vial. It still, horrifyingly, has some of Loki's intelligence. (50 exp)
- They continue on, and the forest gets more lush. Sunlight filters through the leaves above. Everything is looking so nice, like it's gone from winter to spring. (50 exp)
- They reach a point where the Halfling's trail can be seen smashing its way through the lush forest. They follow, eventually reaching the Halfling camp. There is a soft green light in one direction, and a trail of small barefoot footprints going in another. (50 exp)

Inline images 5

- Not ones to look a gift horse in the mouth, the party loot the campsite. It's like everyone up and left all at once. Food is still in cookpots, clothes are still on the line. Where'd everyone go? (50 exp)
- At least there's loot! Specifically a ton of books, a recipe for poison next to some poisoned honey wine, and a few other things. (50 exp)
- Satisfied, the party head to the green glow. Galaxy uses his latent Spiderclimb Elf powers to creepily climb up a tree and investigate. (50 exp)

Inline images 1

- He sees a very small fairy lady inside a ring of colourful mushrooms. She sounds super drunk and is crying, like that one girl at a teenage house party. Her mascara is all over the place. (50 exp)
- Seraph Dawnstride has turned up around this time, also investigating the area, and is playing the pipes. The fairy girl dances to the sick tunes. (50 exp)
- When questioned, she explains that she came here to get granted a wish by a statue but a bunch of Halflings beat her to it! Bummer! (50 exp)
- Someone feeds her a ration, thinking it'll help, but she starts vomiting up golden fairy dust. Seraph and Galaxy Johnson rub it all over themselves, the freaks. But then they start to fly! They do believe in fairies! (50 exp)

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- The vial of Loki is fed some mushroom and some fairy dust - it turns violet and starts floating around! (50 exp)
- The party let the green fairy get on with it and head to the statue. All the Halfling footprints lead here - through a low hole in a hedge surrounding a weird looking statue covered with little strips of paper sealed on with wax, purity seal style. (50 exp)
- Seraph and Galaxy Johnson fly over the hedge to inspect the statue... but as they get closer the statue seems to go backwards away from them and become huge and vast! At its feet, a whole gingerbread village on an island nestled between two strange rivers. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party crawl through the hole under the hedge, emerging into a land of gently waving paper grass growing on brown sugar soil. (50 exp)

Inline images 2

- Ahead, they see what the others can see from the air - a gingerbread village. There is a candy bridge over the rivers into the town, and closer to them is a windmill with biscuit wafer sails. (50 exp)
- The windmill is investigated. Inside are bags of suger and two great big biscuits for millstones. In the corner, covered in blood, is the corpse of a Halfling. It seemed he chewed his wrists open with rotten teeth. (50 exp)
- The flying team descend towards the town. They can see a lot of happy Halflings, a lot of cherubs, and cuddly bears walking around. The statue gets further and smaller, eventually disappearing behind a white tower in the middle of town. (50 exp)
- They alight lightly on the balcony of the ivory tower. The doors have stained glass images of princesses and flowers and unicorns and all that good stuff. (50 exp)
- The ground team crosses the liquorice bridge into the town proper, passing by some happy bears wandering over the bridge. The Halflings here are all beaming big smiles, but all have bad teeth and a bad acne. Too many sweets, the party think. (50 exp)
- Bertha tries speaking to one, and he tells them through gritted teeth that they need to GET OUT. Suddenly he breaks down saying "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!" and the cherubs and bears mob him, saying "oh no looks like someone's sad!" (50 exp)
- He gets carried to the town square and is lowered onto the spike of a sharpened candy cane. He begins to scream as the other Halflings come to watch the mandatory no-happy dance. (50 exp)
- Carrie Meleste slings the vial of Loki towards the screaming mouth of the Halfling with perfect accuracy, what a throw! As Loki's goop-corpse is swallowed down, the Halfling is amazed to find his bum inflating like a balloon and carrying him away into the sky! (50 exp)

Inline images 4

- The cupids are in disarray and just sort of let him float up up and away into the sky, Yay! The Halfling villagers shout in glee! (50 exp)
- Up the tower, Seraph pops a mushroom she took from the fairy patch and suddenly mutates into an Elf. She doubles over, ears erupting from her head, as the fae magic corrupts her. Cool! (50 exp)
- They open the door from the balcony and see a corridor with four doors, ending in a staircase down. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson opens one of the doors and looks out into the howling depths of space. Stars glimmer, a rainbow comet surges in the distance, and spinning slowly is the strange paper-covered statue. (50 exp)
- "I'm home!" says Galaxy Johnson gleefully, and jumps through the door. Space is warm and breathable, apparently. The rainbow comet turns and comes towards him. (50 exp)
- The statue booms in Galaxy's mind - "The first wish must end before another wish can be made". Seraph floats in too, marvelling at the zero-G. (50 exp)
- The comet gets closer, and it's a beautiful rainbow unicorn with beautiful rainbow wings! Galaxy Johnson nopes out, but Seraph stays as the unicorn gets close. The wings beat loudly, her vision is full of it, it's all she can see. (50 exp)
- "Wouldst though like the taste of candy?" it grates in a voice deep and vast, "A pretty princess dress? Wouldst though like to live.... deliciously?" (50 exp)

Inline images 9

- The door slams shut behind Galaxy Johnson as he swims back through space and into the corridor. Nearby, another door opens.... (50 exp)
- Down in the town, Bertha and co enter a house and question a Halfling about what's going on. Still smiling, he tells them about the child's wish for happiness that has brought them nothing but pain. As his smile falters, the purple face of a giant poodle can be seen at the window. It growls low and violent. (50 exp)
- The Halfling sees it and says "NO! PLEASE! PLEEEAAASE!". The Poodle SMASHES through the gingerbread wall and savages the Halfling, blood sprays everywhere and the Halfling screams in horror and pain! (50 exp)
- The party laugh, "haha good doggy!" and plaster smiles to their faces. The Poodle eyes them, blood soaking into its purple fur, and licks chunks of meat from its muzzle. (50 exp)
- Ratimir is causing problems by explaining to confused cupids that he's Russian and thus satisfied on the inside without looking happy on the outside. His strange mix of optimism and nihilism in the face of communism confuses the cupids into letting him be. (50 exp)
- The party, smiling except for Ratimir who gets a pass, make their way to the ivory tower. Behind the rose-tinted glass of the front door is a big ol' cuddly bear.  It seems depressed. Carrie cures its depression, which makes it happy to KILL! (50 exp)
- It hugs Carrie and she disappears in a puff of brimstone... because Andy has to leave early. She'll be back at a convenient time I'm sure. (50 exp)
- Up in the tower, the door in front of Galaxy Johnson open to reveal a princess with a pointy hat and a pretty dress and a star sceptre and all the rest. (50 exp)
- She explains that she's not the little girl who made the wish, that girl is sleeping and happy! (50 exp)
- Seraph leaves the space room but is pursued by Mr Sparkles the unicorn. The princess tells the unicorn not to be silly and closes the door with a wave of her wand. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson floats towards the balcony and flies around the tower. The princess, on sparkly butterfly wings, follows. (50 exp)
- Suddenly, behind Seraph, a glowing silver unicorn horn pierces through the door! "YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME!" screams Mr Sparkles. (50 exp)
- Seraph flees into another room, this one has a little girl sleeping on a bed surrounded by toys! (50 exp)
- Seraph, seeing her chance, leaps to murder the girl. He toys come to life in her defence! (50 exp)

Inline images 8

- Downstairs, the rest of the party dodge past the bear and run up the stairs. It's too fat to chase after them! (50 exp)
- Bertha crests the top of the stairs and looks down the corridor only to see a door at the end smash open and a beautiful unicorn charge out and stampede towards her! (50 exp)
- The unicorn sees Bertha, stops, and gives another version of its WOULDST THOU LIKE TO LIVE DELICIOUSLY speech. She offers it honey wine, and the unicorn accepts. (50 exp)
- It was poisoned honey wine. The unicorn screams in pain! Its flesh begins rippling and falling off, turning into candy, The melting candycorn reveals a man in a wooden unicorn mask underneath, who runs out to the balcony! (50 exp)

Inline images 3

- Galaxy Johnson runs to tackle him off the balcony, but misses and is thrown off the balcony himself! Thankfully, he can fly. (50 exp)
- In the girl's bedroom, Seraph is still fighting off toys. Nix rushes in and rips Stretch Armstrong to shreds. (50 exp)
- Ratman tries to grab the toys to get them away, but in Soviet Russia, toy grab you! (50 exp)
- The princess bursts through the stained sugar-glass window and tells everyone to stop! She aims a blast from her wand at Nix, who is suddenly blasted to 0HP as a bunch of her body turns to candy! (50 exp)
- Seraph jumps over the toys, distracted by Ratimir, and grabs the girl! Together they crash through the window and fall towards the gingerbread town! (50 exp)

Inline images 10

- Nix staggers back, candy flesh falling around her, and RAGES! An Enlarge spell goes off and Nix is suddenly HUGE! Her body burst through the top of the tower! (50 exp)
- Seraph, plummeting, holds the girl's body ahead of her. They smash into the ground at terminal velocity and... the ground stretches like rubber. No fall damage in Candyland. (50 exp)
- The girl awakens bleerily... and Seraph drives her thumbs into the girl's eyes. She screams and the world begins to collapse around her. "Happy Halloween!" Seraph says. (50 exp)

Inline images 7

Inline images 12

- The world dissolves, falling into an endless void. In the void is the wishing statue. It speaks its rules - A wish of up to twelve words, beginning with "I wish", and it can add up to half again as many words to keep it interesting. (50 exp)
- Floating in the warm void, the party argues at length. (50 exp)
- Finally, a decision is reached. Fuck the mould. Do something good for the world. Nix begins writing... and does it in as many words as possible because she's mad that her wish wasn't picked. (50 exp)
- Final wording - "I wish the pestilent blight of the mould was excised from this earthly plane" (50 exp)
- Final addition - "... but Shub-Niggurath rises" (50 exp)
Total: 3400 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting 
bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal kill bonus (50 exp)
- Child Murderer bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decisionbonus (50 exp)
- Long deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous gore bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the party bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 850 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (Tom / Seraph - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Nix - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Guard (Tom / Seraph - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- Near Death Experience (Nix - 100 exp ea.)
- Chippo/JUG (let me know i forgot!)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Tom - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d'Arte bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Tom - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (Everyone but Tom and Charles - 100 exp)
Rumours:
There are three Clerics wandering the land, giving aid and protecting us in the name of the Three Good Gods.
- Clunge Honey is a special honey from the Demonfucked Mountains that makes the Dead ignore you!
- The Dead Army is on our side now, but rogue Necromancers and the unmastered Dead still roam these lands.
- One of the Necromancer-Generals has taken his army down to the Isle of Wights, he's desecrating the ancient barrows that are the last relic of a former Dead war!
- The bubble surrounding the horrid town of Dunnsmouth has popped, disgorging hundreds of hybrid lizard-people upon the world!


Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 318sp. (Zena's Stake: 212sp, Carrie's Stake: 106sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 3840sp.
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2014sp. (Nix's Stake: 1679sp. Bertha's Stake: 335sp)

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Loki Axefuck, turned himself and the mad boar he was riding into orange goop via na unlucky Chaos Burst
Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 60359 (Level up at 64000)- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 3 Elf (Alpdrucke): 9456 (Level up at 12000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 2 Necromancer: 3138 (Level up at 4500)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell! +free spell! +backstory!
- Tom / Loki Axefuck, Level 1 Elf (Flibbertigibbet): 2488 (Level up at 3000)*DECEASED*
- Tom / Seraph Dawnstride, Level 1 Elf (???): 1620 (Level up at 3000)

Absent or Retired:- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 53279 (Level up at 72000)
- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- James / Ratimir, Level 3 Ratman: 3761 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
Nix's Retainer--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, 
Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)