Tuesday, 17 August 2021

Session 296 - Brains and Brawn

 Date: July 1st, 14 p.p.
Moon: Full Moon - Clear Face
Zenith: The Dead God


New Backstory:
- Amanta, in her pre-anthropomorphic days deep in the cold depths of the Earth, ate her mantis "husband" to survive. Can eat 2 rations at a time when you eat to heal.
- Celebus was known for carrying pockets full of stinky rotisserie chicken. +1 AC when covered in filth.
- Swan saved his sick mother by arcane means, descending to hell and plucking out his own eye to save her life. The legends say she cannot die. +1 Arcana
- Astro Moon was gravely insulted by some of the stock space baddies she always fought against. She took them out easily with a flashy ultimate move. +1 Strength


Events:

--- Samuel's Hot Buns
- Celebus returns! And he's got a massive zombie sausage steed. You read that right!
- Since the meat in the Meatlands is demonstrably mutagenic, the plan is to bring some non-mutating meat in there with them. Since they're close to Samuel's tavern, they head there. Unfortunately all he has are suspicious "slut buns" that allegedly turn you into a slut if you eat them.
- They buy some anyway and head off towards the Meatlands. On the way they see some stoneshell crab moults. Celebus puts one on a zombie for fun.

--- Meatgate
- They come to the town on the edge of the Meatlands and see they strange mutant people who live there. One of them offers a fat marrow - the vegetable not the bone juice - and they swap it for a slut bun.
- It's raining a bit, so the quivering skin of the Meatlands shivers slightly and has goosebumps. A road is scarred into the meaty ground. In the middle distance, on either side of the road, two giant hands thrust skywards. There's a long tendon between them. Swan asks "surely that's the actual Meatgate?" and the natives look embarrassed that they didn't think of that.

--- Sweaty Oily Muscle Men
- Our heroes set off and approach the giant hands. There's a giant bicep bulging from the sweaty ground too, and a massively muscular man standing nearby waving his massive arm. He yells to them that they should join his gym!
- Swan's interested, so they go inside the bicep and see a whole load of extremely nude and extremely muscular men doing workouts. In the middle of the room is a massive bone pillar. The muscle guy shows them what happens if you lift the bone - a scorpion tail nips out from the space beneath it and injects you! It does, in fact, do so, and the muscle man immediately challenges another to a wrestle.
- Swan demands Eegor lift the bone, and he duly does so. He also demands a wrestling match, and he and Swan get into several compromising positions (ooooh master!) before Swan lets Eegor win. Eegor's muscles swell - he's gotten stronger!
- Astro Moon lifts the bone and must kill someone with her bare fists! Small potatoes for a muscle wizard! However she's forbidden from murdering the muscle men. They tell her to go beat up one of the "thinky people" who live in one of the hands outside. She's got until sundown.

--- The Thinky People
- Amanta climbs up the side of a hand and has a peek in through a large pore. Inside there are people with massive heads slurping fluid from tentacles growing from the muscle within the hand. A man spots her! His name is XANAX and she offers him a slut bun. Oh no, he's somehow changed into a slut! His name is now XANSEX and he no longer craves knowledge... he craves XANSEX!
- Amanta climbs down as chaos begins within the hand. XANAX vs XANSEX - the ultimate battle of the brains.
- Since nobody can climb as good as Amanta, it looks like the way for most people to get into the left hand is to go through the right hand and over the tendon bridge,.

--- Neuron Monsters
- They go into the big suppurating pore in the right hand, which naturally forms a dungeon-like environment. Flies and maggots crawl around the entrance, feasting on the shuddering flesh of the hand. It's yuck in here.
- They climb a bone ladder and once they reach the wrist they are attacked by some horrible mutant meat monsters! Big salivating jaws with horrible square teeth, eyes beneath the jaws, and massive neuron arms that they use to swing across the ceiling!
- The big limitation is how few people can get out of the ladder in time! Amanta manages to throttle one with its own ganglia, while Astro Moon after some effort does indeed manage to beat the other to death with her bare fists. The magic is complete and she grows both stronger and heartier!
- In the lair of the monsters they find some cool treasure - 3 nasty mottled creature embyros and some "bone" china.

--- Brainwaves
- The team continues up the ladder one by one. Amanta, in the lead, sees a man look down the shaft with his fingers to his temples. It's XANAX! He shoots mind beams at her and she collapses limp! Swan catches her as she slips back down the ladder.
- Celebus has a solution! He casts Fast Zombie on one of his zombies (the corpse of ex-PC Liber Quint) and the zombie goes Ravenous! It's way fast, talkative, and smart! It scrambles up the ladder towards XANAX and there is an echoing scream!
- The zombie Liber Quint looks down the ladder at her former owner and laughs menacingly. There's more than enough brain in the head of these XANAX guys... She mockingly drops some brain from above.
- Somewhat scared, the party leaves the hand and heads back to the muscle men's bicep gym. The zombie spaniard is carrying Amanta's limp body.
- A bit of brain splats to the ground in front of the zombie, which it eats unthinkingly. Suddenly its eyes go wide too! The Ravening is spreading! Amanta wakes up just in time to jump out if its grasp, and it sprints into the hand to join the other zombie! Celebus is absolutely fucking shocked at this turn of events.
- As they head for the bicep, they see the two zombies shambling slowly across the tendon bridge, towards the other big-brained members of XANAX...
- At the bicep, Swan attempts to lift the bone and gets jabbed by the stinger. He, too, is compelled to fight someone to the death...

Total: 7000 exp


Treasure:
- 3 dark mottled embryos (900 exp)
- 6 bone china plates (480 exp)
Total: 1380 exp


Defeated Foes:
- Two ganglion meat monsters (150 exp)
- A member of XANAX (25 exp)
Total: 175 exp


Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 5 Barbarian: 23564 (Level up at 32000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 4 Necromancer: 12403 (Level up at 18000)
- Kitty / Amanta, Level 4 Mantis Specialist: 9661 (Level up at 14000)
- Izzy / Astro Moon, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 7808 (Level up at 9000)






2 comments:

  1. So eating brains gives a zombie free will? And is the "ravening" a zombie outbreak?

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    Replies
    1. I've long had it that when a zombie eats a brain it becomes a fast intelligent Ravenous Zombie.
      I think from when I adapted barrowmaze?

      Anyway yea, any zombie can become Ravenous, but only for ten minutes after eating a brain.
      Turns out when the brain is extra big and extra smart they get some extra Ravening time!

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