Date: 13 August, 21 p.p.
Moon: Waning Gibbous - Dragon Face
Zenith: Dispater
Moon: Waning Gibbous - Dragon Face
Zenith: Dispater
Events:
--- Butlers and Banquets
- Grand doors swing open and our blood-soaked heroes are greeted by a pair of beaming butlers! The butlers motion for the party to enter, saying that the banquet is ready and the host, Herr Normous, will be down to see them soon!
- It's a grand hall, somewhat gone to ruin, tiled with a blend of the different materials of the zones in this dungeon - black glass, velvet, meat, and so forth.
- Grand doors swing open and our blood-soaked heroes are greeted by a pair of beaming butlers! The butlers motion for the party to enter, saying that the banquet is ready and the host, Herr Normous, will be down to see them soon!
- It's a grand hall, somewhat gone to ruin, tiled with a blend of the different materials of the zones in this dungeon - black glass, velvet, meat, and so forth.
- Iskander is completely covered in blood so decides to have a wash at the nearby sink. Swan tests the taps, all attached to different types of tile, and finds one that just spews out blood. He drinks it! Celebus meanwhile finds a wine tap and guzzles a few mouthfuls.
- Ablutions sorta complete, they are led through to a dining room! There are enough seats for everyone other than the Extras who have catering off-screen. The guests themselves are the sort of insufferable couple-friends who have a lot of shared jokes and history that you're not really privy to.
- There is also a menu! A real life menu prop, how lovely. The dishes sound pretty tasty, but are they...?
--- Tasty Treats
- Onion soup is the first course and it looks pretty tasty. Iskander excuses himself to go find the toilet, while Amanta moves the soup around the bowl a bunch and pretends to eat it. The Extras try the soup (from the catering trolley of course) and have to save against it! They fail and feel sleepy.
- Celebus tries the next course - glazed pork. He gets a nasty tummy ache and takes CON damage! It was definitely tasty, but now he's got a hurty belly :(
- Amanta tries the third course - mushroom civet - and also fails her save! Everyone in the room can hear her thoughts now! How embarrassing for a dinner party!
--- If I May Be Excused
- Meanwhile, upstairs, Iskander has been on the hunt for a toilet for a little while now. His explorations take him past a rickety floor with loads of kitchen stuff piled in the middle and all the way up to Herr Normous' room! There's no proper toilet, but one of the meat tiles has got a gnashing mouth and well... let's just say that Iskander uses the facilities.
- Onion soup is the first course and it looks pretty tasty. Iskander excuses himself to go find the toilet, while Amanta moves the soup around the bowl a bunch and pretends to eat it. The Extras try the soup (from the catering trolley of course) and have to save against it! They fail and feel sleepy.
- Celebus tries the next course - glazed pork. He gets a nasty tummy ache and takes CON damage! It was definitely tasty, but now he's got a hurty belly :(
- Amanta tries the third course - mushroom civet - and also fails her save! Everyone in the room can hear her thoughts now! How embarrassing for a dinner party!
--- If I May Be Excused
- Meanwhile, upstairs, Iskander has been on the hunt for a toilet for a little while now. His explorations take him past a rickety floor with loads of kitchen stuff piled in the middle and all the way up to Herr Normous' room! There's no proper toilet, but one of the meat tiles has got a gnashing mouth and well... let's just say that Iskander uses the facilities.
- Herr Normous himself is a huge hairy man, but seems quite friendly. He's just about ready now, so they head down to dinner together... or so Herr Normous thinks! Instead Iskander gambits, pushing Herr Normous onto the pile of kitchen equipment on the rickety floor and jumping so the whole thing falls through!
- They're falling together and about to take some fat falling damage but suddenly Swan the Swift is there! He catches Iskander and they look into each others' eyes for a second... before Iskander leaps from his arms with a strange "I would have been fine, silly" attitude. Fans of the popular Swanskander ship go wild.
--- Fine Young Cannibals
- They're falling together and about to take some fat falling damage but suddenly Swan the Swift is there! He catches Iskander and they look into each others' eyes for a second... before Iskander leaps from his arms with a strange "I would have been fine, silly" attitude. Fans of the popular Swanskander ship go wild.
--- Fine Young Cannibals
- But what's this? The guests are attacking! They were cannibals this whole time! Who could have known!
- Herr Normous stands up, battered from the fall, and yells at his cannibal guests to charge! It's feasting time! But then he immediately runs away and leaves his guests to it...
- Battle is joined, with the tiresome posho guests effectively wielding their knives and forks to stab at our heroes! It's all going fairly well, Didogenes using his newly acquired power fists to do AoE damage, until out of nowhere the the butlers return and one-two deck the shit out of Celebus! He emergency succs down a Last Breath and sends his minions - a zombie dog and a zombie anime girl - to defend him!
- Swan cleaves elegantly through some of the guests while Amanta gets another one with a mantis claw to the throat. It's a bloodbath... and the guests' morale fails! They flee, except for one who it turned out was faking the posh accent. He's actually Irish and named... Tommy O'Reilly.
- Herr Normous stands up, battered from the fall, and yells at his cannibal guests to charge! It's feasting time! But then he immediately runs away and leaves his guests to it...
- Battle is joined, with the tiresome posho guests effectively wielding their knives and forks to stab at our heroes! It's all going fairly well, Didogenes using his newly acquired power fists to do AoE damage, until out of nowhere the the butlers return and one-two deck the shit out of Celebus! He emergency succs down a Last Breath and sends his minions - a zombie dog and a zombie anime girl - to defend him!
- Swan cleaves elegantly through some of the guests while Amanta gets another one with a mantis claw to the throat. It's a bloodbath... and the guests' morale fails! They flee, except for one who it turned out was faking the posh accent. He's actually Irish and named... Tommy O'Reilly.
--- I Mean... It Does Look Pretty Tasty Though
- With their foes defeated, it's time to take stock. And, well, that food does look pretty good... and there's got to be some upside to eating it right? It wouldn't just be regular poisoned would it?
- Celebus tries some of the pork that gave Amanta a projected telepathy, and actually passes the save! He can now read thoughts of those he's looking at! He reads the thoughts of his zombie minions and discovers that they are in constant agony, spiritual torment, craving an end to this unliving hell. "lol" says Celebus, "lmao".
- With their foes defeated, it's time to take stock. And, well, that food does look pretty good... and there's got to be some upside to eating it right? It wouldn't just be regular poisoned would it?
- Celebus tries some of the pork that gave Amanta a projected telepathy, and actually passes the save! He can now read thoughts of those he's looking at! He reads the thoughts of his zombie minions and discovers that they are in constant agony, spiritual torment, craving an end to this unliving hell. "lol" says Celebus, "lmao".
- Iskander and Swan go upstairs to the kitchen together ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to check out the next courses, and they're beset by a barrage of knives and spoons! The chefs are still up here! Iskander crits and murders every motherfucker in the room in an orgy of death. Most of it misses the food.
- Celebus continues eating the pork while Amanta and the Meat-Up head on up to Herr Normous' room to check it out. Amanta tries to pick the lock, but breaks it by accident. Bummer! Didogenes uses his doggo power fists to blast down the door instead. Much easier!
- Celebus continues eating the pork while Amanta and the Meat-Up head on up to Herr Normous' room to check it out. Amanta tries to pick the lock, but breaks it by accident. Bummer! Didogenes uses his doggo power fists to blast down the door instead. Much easier!
- Inside they find some chests with meat in them! Except at least one is alive! A meaty tendril swipes out and pulls an Extra into its gnashing maw! They leave instead of dealing with the meat monster. They've been dealing with too many meat-themed beasties recently anyway.
--- Amanta's Last Bite
- They all gather in the kitchen. Amanta is very very intrigued by the chocolate cake called "Le Marvellous". It's a towering chocolatey confection. Given the way the meals seemed to be getting weirder and more dangerous over time, the chocolate cake should be the most dangerous of all... and that means a good upside right?
- She can't help herself, she needs to try it! She takes a big bite, gobbles it down... and feels her insectoid stomach begin to liquefy. It's a deadly poison cake! She immediately drops to 0HP and gains 14 Trauma poison!
- They all gather in the kitchen. Amanta is very very intrigued by the chocolate cake called "Le Marvellous". It's a towering chocolatey confection. Given the way the meals seemed to be getting weirder and more dangerous over time, the chocolate cake should be the most dangerous of all... and that means a good upside right?
- She can't help herself, she needs to try it! She takes a big bite, gobbles it down... and feels her insectoid stomach begin to liquefy. It's a deadly poison cake! She immediately drops to 0HP and gains 14 Trauma poison!
- It's a tense few moments as everyone throws everything they can at saving her life. It's not enough. Her carapace burns through from within, liquefying and dumping part-digested chocolate cake onto the floor as she scrabbles in her final death throes... and dies.
- Iskander, tears in his eyes, knocks back a glass of the pousse-café and almost immediately becomes extremely drunk. A fitting tribute. If they can get her body back out of this place, they'll hold a hell of a funeral.
Total: 7000 exp
Enemies Defeated:
- Herr Normous (250 exp)
- Many cannibal guests, butlers, and assorted chefs-de-partie (500 exp)
Total: 750 exp
- Herr Normous (250 exp)
- Many cannibal guests, butlers, and assorted chefs-de-partie (500 exp)
Total: 750 exp
Loot:
- Onion Soup
- Glazed "pork" loin
- Deadly chocolate cake
- Onion Soup
- Glazed "pork" loin
- Deadly chocolate cake
Total: 0 exp
OOC:
- Chronicler: Charles
- Expedition Leader: Kitty
- Paymaster: Tom
- Quartermaster: Ollie
- Vanguard: George
- Chronicler: Charles
- Expedition Leader: Kitty
- Paymaster: Tom
- Quartermaster: Ollie
- Vanguard: George
Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 6 Barbarian: 53568 (Level up at 64000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 50423 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Amanta, Level 6 Mantis Specialist: 45581 (Level up at 56000)
- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 6 Fighter: 45244 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / The Meat Up, Level 4 Extras: 8540 (Level up at 14000)
Level Up! +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +Backstory!
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