Tuesday, 5 April 2022

Session 314 - Lads Lads Lads!

Date: 13 August, 21 p.p.

Moon: Waning Gibbous - Dragon Face
Zenith: Dispater


--- Aemilius Princeps Returns!
- After a long time surveying his Empire somewhere across the blood ocean, the Halfling emperor and allegedly rightful lord of this land returns!
- He makes his way to the party up the lift, somehow, and is immediately trusted implicitly. Also he has a goat. Not mind-controlled though, just well trained.

--- Romans
- Conveniently enough, the next room is full of a fair number of battlescarred Ancient Roman type guys! Aemilius was with them! They also happen to be the hated foe of Anglo-Saxons, and Swan can't help but charge in!
- They're tough, so Swan bravely flees. The party is now running from a bunch of Romans, and conveniently for everyone Aemilius immediately switches sides and joins the fleeing party on goatback.

- The next room has a huge beating heart suspended, pulsing softly, and a grate at the other end which the goat ably charges down! Swan chops one of the arteries suspending the heart and the blood pumps out at a frightening rate, drowning them in blood!

- There's one problem - Swan needs to kill something before he can put away his shadowy summonable sword, so he's stuck with it out.
- They continue on, passing by a convenient way out of the dungeon if they need it! They're about a third of the way up this great big flesh tree. They're fine though, so continue on.

--- Bloodstone
- A big veiny rock greets them in the next room, and it is emphatically non-phallic ok? Blood from the heart is seeping in behind them, getting closer and closer to this rock. Ominous strings play on the soundtrack.
- They skirt round to the exit from the room before the blood reaches the rock, but hang back just to see what happens. Loads of goopy blood blobs erupting from the monolith is what happens! Time to gtfo.

--- Oi oi!
It's a new zone! This time Sir Robyn themed. It's a whole room filled with grapevines and plush furnishings. The goat monches. Aemilius feels right at home! They hang around long enough for the room to magically reform, grapevines fading to reveal a fountain of wine in the middle of the room.
- Also here - a bunch of 8 foot tall four-eyed long-nosed hooligans barge in! They're drunk as hell and well up for a fight!
- Celebus flash-casts Death Rattle on his skeleton doggo and... it's a Chaos Burst! It's not so bad... he just ends up vomiting up his guts all over the floor. The lads are in various states of Stun or Surprise - aka laughing their arses off at the spectacle.
- Swan gets caught up in a wrestle which is awkward because he's got that massive shadow greatsword out and can't fight back easily in close quarters!
- Dorian Demone slides into the gang of lads and gambits... but crit fails! The lads gambit back and fail themselves! Absolute shambles over that way. They fall into a tripod shape and accidentally tangle their long noses.
- Aemilius fucking murders one of them by stabbing his knife-pistol into their gut, then pulling the trigger. He's got that reload skeleton on standby to reload the thing for him. Good shot, sir!
- Another lad has gotten too close to Celebus' vomit and it sets him off too, spewing up his own guts and covering the misbegotten Necromancer with what is probably mostly beer vomit. It's all in the fountain now along with the wine. Yuck.

- Swan kicks his wrestle partner backwards into said wine fountain and follows up with a wide slice that decapitates the guy he was wrestling AND the guy behind him. Now there's blood in the wine fountain too!
- The last guy straight up gives up and is mollified by Aemilius' offer of a special brew. He mourns his fellow hooligans, but accepts that they did kinda start it.
- Celebus tells the big hooligan that he can join the party if he wants... and the guy just kinda goes along with it! They both wash the vomit off in the fountain, so now they're covered in wine and blood AND vomit. Much cleaner.
- Early night at the Mug House so we end early. Next week - my last session before I'm off to Australia for a month!

Total: 5000 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- A bunch of Romans, outpaced and covered in blood. (400 exp)
- A small mob of huge hooligans. (500 exp)
Total: 900 exp

Exp Totals:

- George / Swan the Swift, Level 6 Barbarian: 57618 (Level up at 64000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 52448 (Level up at 72000)
- Timothy / Aemelius Princeps, Level 3 Halfling: 6612 (Level up at 8000)
- Kitty / Damien "Ditto" DeMone, Level 2 Inheritor: 4050 (Level up at 4500)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Cap! +Backstory!

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