Session 394 - Burg-to-Burg Scorpion-as-a-Service Investment Opportunity

 Date: 13 January 1625

Moon Phase: Full Moon
Moon Face: Clean Face

Zenith Deity: Minerva

Returning Characters:

- Bulgur, Son of Borgar. Barbarian. Hasn't seen wheat in months.
- Brie van der Hells, Necromancer. Strange minions.

- Manrat Snels, Ratman. Surprisingly shrewed.

- Nines, Inheritor. Trying his best to map the place.

- Nostradama, Nonanist Cleric. Slightly scammable.

- Zeppelino, Goblin. Extremely scammable.

New Backstory:

- Zeppelino helped run a theatrical troupe out of town when they passed through Drudgespar, out into the deadly then-poisonous Wastes. The crime? Wearing greenface. The troupe may have ended up being part of Manrat's backstory... Once per session, force a morale check to fail.

Events:

--- Wheat Proselytisers

- It's morning in the Goblin city of Drudgespar, the capital of the Drudge Wastes. Built on the inside of a huge ever-sinking and ever-growing inverted cone, most of the city has accreted down the very bottom. From their vantage in a house high up on the sides, looking down at the main city looks like peering at buildings collected at the bottom of a bucket. Floating above, connected by a web of rigging, float the balloons and blimps of the upper classes.
- Still, there's not much going on high up in the Skirts at the rim of the city. They want to see the sights and meet the people down below!
- They head down, and it's only a couple of storeys before they see something interesting. Goblins in straw hats distributing leaflets and talking about the "Idea of Wheat!"

- Bulgur rushes over! Wheat! Good clean wheat! He takes a wheat sample and looks it over - it's perfectly ordinary but old. He looks at the pamphlet. It says "Join us and help us to grow wheat!"

- The goblin, upon hearing the Bulgur knows about wheat, is overjoyed! He takes him to the "Grainhall" - a dingy little house with a thin layer of soil, very little light, and a small printing press. It becomes apparent that "help us grow wheat" was a cry for help - they really want to grow wheat but they don't know how!
- They teach Nines to power runes (finally!) and he plays around with them. It becomes apparent that the Earth and Mass runes simply don't work any more, and that rune-created materials (like water) fade back into component rune-elements after a while. At least they can demonstrate with rune-water! Between that, Nines' soil-generation mutation, and some insights into sunlight, they're good to go!

- Nostradama preaches the good word of Minerva to these Goblins. The Idea of Wheat is inherently hierarchical, these goblins currently live under the lords in the rigging. Nostradama persuades them to obey a higher calling - the Gods themselves! They are totally persuaded! Manrat, proclaiming himself a Knight of Mars, pledges his sword and his protection of the new wheat farmers.

--- Lore Dump

- Sufficiently converted and persuaded by the party, the Goblins are friendly and count them as allies!

- They hear some rumours:

-- Down in the Buildup, the Magic Emporium has been advertising cool new constructs!
-- In Bucketsides there's a copse of Brackling saplings that's eating people!
-- Out on the south coast, near Grasp, some Dwarves a digging around the pylon there. Manrat surmises that the party's been there already.
-- Meat Mages down in the Buildup are busy animating a giant scorpion! If they succeed it will destroy the city!
-- Skimmers are iron-skid vehicles designed to slide right over the ferrofluid flats. As luck would have it, they've got one for sale for 10 000 obols!
-- Every Pyramid has a dungeon 12 layers deep beneath it. Get to the bottom and you can reach the control room that converts the Earth into a cosmic battleship!

- Asked about the broken Pyramid outside the city, the Goblins declare that it was destroyed by the Dwarves a thousand or more years ago. Even now the Dwarves try to sabotage Drudgespar from below.

- The levels of the city the Goblins know about are, in descending order, the Rigging, the Skirts, Bucketsides, and finally the main city layer is called the Buildup.
- Manrat hires a Goblin squire, since he is a Knight of Mars and all.

--- Down Down to Goblin-Town

- Nines has been told in no uncertain terms that they'll all need a passport - a green armband - to stay in this city without a Goblin escort. It's fine for now since Zeppelino seems to have them under control, but who can say whether he'll vanish off to Peru or something?
- As such they head down the various lifts, stairways, and interlocking pathways. There's no central design, but Manrat's guide can sort of muddle along.
- On the way down through Bucketsides they see groves of hibernating Bracklings and the occasional well-guarded giant peapod in well-tended gardens. The sides get the sunlight, so they grow all their people here.
- They reach the Buildup and it's a proper classic multiracial and cosmopolitan fantasy city! Goblins mill about, towered over by the occasional human or towering winter brackling. Cottony flying Brack-pixies flit about overhead. The houses and shops are ramshackle, always building on top of deeper levels as the city fights to build its way away from the stinking gunge of the wastes.

--- Mutations, Anyone?

- They pass a human with a fleshy machine who is crying out for volunteers. Mutations! Mutations! Who wants a mutation? He'll even pay you to help him! The human himself has a ring of seven noses growing around his head.

- Nines takes him up on it, gets a mushroom-head mutation, and immediately adds it to his Inheritor powers. Good edge case!

- They ask directions and head towards the passport office. It's down a long long tunnel towards the outside, but after a while they reach it! Turns out that Zeppelino's presence means they just give out the armbands, no questions asked. Neat! They're warned that a huge giant appeared last night, according to the guards, and then vanished in a puff of steam! Now what could that mean?

--- Wait, He's a Pervert!

- They go back towards the mutation man and... huh?? He's gone!
- Nines and Brie investigate strange sounds down an alley and find the mutation man is a horrible pervert! The mutations were just a way for him to derive disgusting pleasure!

- They murder him, Brie takes his last breath, Nines digests him and turns him (via convoluted mutational means) into a doppleganger minion who goes off to return to society.

--- Shopping Trip

- Zeppelino, meanwhile, is at the market. He finds sourdough, tins of beans, jars of pickled onions, and "ferro-truffles", a sort of shiny fungus found at the edge of ferrofluid rivers. He'll take the lot!

- Manrat is asking locals what the reward for killing the Meat Mages with the scorpion is. There isn't one! They're normal citizens, refugees who fled the Meatlands as it was subsumed by the Wheatlands!
- The party meets back up and decide to investigate the scorpion anyway. Giant scorpions are way cool.

--- Series B Scorpion Funding Round

- They reach the scorpion and it is very much a GIANT scorpion. We're talking the size of a small house here! The city has built around it to an extent, such that the great sting it sticking out of a set-back upper storey and the face (plus artistic extra jaws) is poking out into the street.
- Manrat sends a rat to scout. It's nice for rats in there!
- Nines and Bulgur approach the door and OH NO! A TRAP! Jaws slam shut around them, holes making it so they're being held by the fake jaws!
- A hulking but very pink man with an extra arm on his left side emerges from the door. Evidently a Meat Mage. He's... very apologetic! Those jaws were designed for goblin-sized investors! He apologises for hurting Bulgur, and invites everyone inside... for an investment presentation!
- Yes this is indeed the perfect time to invest in GRAKTIL! THE CITADEL THAT WALKS!!

- He tells them the business plan. They found this giant exoskeleton in the wastes, hollowed out by poison. They will animate the scorpion with specialised meat machinery and extort tribute from towns all over the wastes!
- The USP? They've got some elementals of elements quite high up the periodic table on board (and literally on board, in the stinger) and they'll be able to use their power to project some god damn Lanthanides at anyone who tries to get in their way!

- Zeppelino is absolutely sold and invests 1000 obols in the venture. He gets a tour. Goblin-free workforce (to build trust with the community, of course) and some access to some high-secrecy knowledge of what they're feeding the leg mechanisms etc.
He comes back and Nostradama eventually goes in too with 200 obols to get her foot in the door, access to Class A stocks, etc etc.

--- Let's Get Cooking!

- They leave, mollified by the business opportunity and promise of business-to-business Scorpion-as-a-Service sales.

- Nines is inspired by the sheer BUSINESS ACUMEN and heads to the nearest Julgoor Store (feels like there's one on every corner) to start a new business venture. Goblin Munitions. Using the grey clay ceramic he's got on hand, he's going to corner the market on extremely volatile and very dangerous bombs.

- Meanwhile we finish up with a cooking minigame. I don't know if we established exactly where but we'll deal with that next session.
- Nostradama is the chef and she cooks the surprisingly delicious and very filling "Good Hearty Meal". Containing Sourdough, Milk, a Manrat-supplied Rat, Pickled Onion and a dash of Melancholy Berry... it's very good! So good in fact that it gives everyone an Encumbrance bonus the next day!

Total: 9000 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler, Cartographer, and Quartermaster (300 exp/level) 

- Ollie the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level) 

- Charles the Paymaster (100 exp/level) 

- George the Vanguard (100 exp/level) 

- Zoë the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Total:

- Carter / Nines, Level 5 Inheritor: 29935 (Level up at 36000)

- Kitty / Bulgur, Son of Borgar, Level 5 Barbarian: 25835 (Level up at 32000)

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 5 Goblin: 17901 (Level up at 32000)

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 5 Ratman: 18068 (Level up at 28000)

- Ollie / Brie van der Hells, Level 4 Necromancer: 17468 (Level up at 18000)

- Zoe / Nostradama, Level 4 Cleric of Nonanism: 9343 (Level up at 18000)

Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Faith! +1d6 Healing! +Backstory!