Ten Foot Précis: January 2016

Saturday, 23 January 2016

Session 76 - Doom Busters

A PSA - Next week's game (26/1/16) is being moved to Monday (25/1/16) due to a clash with Australia Day which is, as you might imagine, a very important day when an Englishman stepped foot on Australian soil and said, "I saw it first".

Session 76 - Doom Busters
Campaign Date:
Wednesday, 25 November, 1549
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Saggitarius

Enemies Defeated:
- 63 skeletons, mostly blown up but sometimes smashed (630 exp)
- 7 skin kites, burnt from the sky (35 exp)
- A necromancer (250 exp)
- A zombie (25 exp)
- 4HD smoke demon (100 exp)
Total: 1040 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 10' of chain that the Necromancer was carrying for some reason
- A vial of Holy Water that he was also holding. Great Necromancer.
- The Necromancer's spellbook

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 3 dungeon rooms (60 exp)

- 1 alternate entry blown open (200 exp)
Total: 260 exp

Events:
- Riding their flying reindeer back to Fate, the party sell off anything fungible and begin making plans. (50 exp)
- Several barrels of shot-filled gunpowder barrels are purchased and flown via sleigh to the black fortress atop Mt Death Frost. (50 exp)
- The fortress itself is built into the mountain and hard to assault. Zan Detects Evil from above, identifying major clumps of undead. There are a lot of clumps. (50 exp)
- A bunkerbuster barrel is placed on the roof above a major cluster and Mana takes the opportunity to do some sleuthing. Looking through an arrow slit she sees several skeletons on guard duty. (50 exp)
- Mana returns and the bunkerbuster is detonated, revealing a cave full of skeletons. Meanwhile, flayed human skins emerge from caves and float toward the sleigh like plastic bags. (50 exp)
- After a bomb is dropped among the skeletons to disappointing effect, Lulu flies down into the breach to detonate another. While it works much better, there are still just heaps and heaps of them down there. (50 exp)
- The floating skins have gotten closer by now and begin flapping around the sleigh, if they touch bare skin it sticks and begins to tear off. (50 exp)
- After blasting a bunch of them with the flamethrower, the party realises there are too many to take on easily and fly around away from them. (50 exp)
- A dambusters-style raid on a glass window follows but doesn't work. Finding a hastily boarded up skeleton-sized hole in one of the battlements, Lulu stuffs the last barrel into the hole and blasts it right open, saying "I'm the bomb!" in the process to general applause. (50 exp)

(This is where I got up to before I went to Amsterdam so the following summary is likely wrong)
- Inside they find an empty battlement and stroll down the stairs, finding evidence of a previous expedition into the castle by some of their number. (50 exp)
- Hoping to hunt down and kill a Necromancer who escaped last time, the party head towards another battlement in the hopes of finding and killing him. (50 exp)

- A sub-group heads up the next battlement to scope it out, finding the Necromancer along with a bunch of skeletons and zombies. Mana attempts diplomacy. (50 exp)
- After Mana force-feeds an unknown potion to the Necromancer, he gets drunk with power due to his new-found direct control of undead. It suddenly gets really weird and rapey when skeletons hold Mana down. (50 exp)
- Luckily rescue is near! The rest of the party burst up the stairs and set to work re-deading the dead. People are variously pushed down cracks, slashed by skeletons, and Zan nearly dies. (50 exp)
- At some point it turns out the candy cane knives create a christmas gremlin from the corpse of the slain, which should be a laugh. (50 exp)

- The Necromancer is finally slain by pegging him with a leg. It is cruel but he was a rapist so there's a nice sense of justice to it. (50 exp)
- The party are now stuck in the doom fortress with some near-dead friends and no obvious exit. Gleeful hand rubbing ensues from my side of the table. (50 exp)

Total: 850 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Anal Violation bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Deja Vu bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)

- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Nutshot bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (100 exp - Lulu)
- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Zan)
Total: 950 exp + bonuses

Rumours:
- None up here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Close but no cigar!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 45656 (Level up at 64000)
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 5 Barbarian: 26983
Kyle / Jane Doe, Level 4 Dwarf: 16416 (Level up at 17600)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 12827 (Level up at 24000)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 10020 (Level up at 18000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 1 Cleric: 1287 (Level up at 1750)

Absent or Retired:

Tom / Sparky, Level 1 Magic User: 770 (Level up at 2250)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
Oliver / Osar, Level 1 Specialist (Dabbler): 670 (Level up at 1500)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)

Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)

James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)

Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)

Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)

Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)

Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)

John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)

Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)

??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)

Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)

Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)

Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)

Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)

Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)

Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)

Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)

-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)

Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)

Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)

Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)

Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)

Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)

Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)

Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)

Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)

Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)

Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)

Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)

Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)

--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Session 75 - Santa's Sleighers

JUST ON TIME HA HA maybe I should outsource these to gremlins
This week I have been in some sort of documentation nightmare zone between going full time in my job and also trying to buy a house before nefarious real estate vultures outbid us. But I got round to writing this, by Jove I did.

I've probably gotten New!Oliver's email wrong since it was hard to read, so if you know his email lemme know!

Also a word of warning - I'm going to Amsterdam on the weekend so I may be more scatterbrained and bamboozled than usual on the 19th. If you're going to try to con imaginary riches out of me, that's going to be the easiest time to do it!

Oh and if you missed it, Charles put together a fantastic little animation regarding his death in the session previous. Check this madness out - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lmv50Kyhz6Q

See you in, oh, four hours or so.

Session 75 - Santa's Sleighers
Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 24 November, 1549
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Saggitarius

New Characters:
- Sparky, a wizard who retired from the army after realising he had three hit points.
- Zan, Spermling of Zea - a transdimensional spacehopping weirdo somehow spawned after the death of Zea.
- Le Chaz III, a Cleric and Vaginarius (snicker snicker)
- Osar, a former cooper and arcane dabbler

Enemies Defeated:
- 7 Gremlins, burnt to cinders by flamethrower (35 exp)
- 1 Snow golem, TKO'd (50 exp)
- Santa Claus (1000 exp)
Total: 1080 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 7 pieces of coal

- 3 jars of frosted sweets
- A bunch of silverware and platters from the kitchen (1000 exp)

- Several giant toys (900 exp)

- An array of torture instruments (500 exp)
- Santa's expanding sack
- A spellbook called "Gimblewang's Most Useful Spells"
- Horrible jumper that draws shadows to itself
- Mug of Ever-Eggnog
- Seven Seeking Snowballs
- A sword that is like a shard of ice
- One of the thirteen fabled Teeth of Vorn
- Two knives with a candy-cane pattern and a peppermint taste
- A tin of individually wrapped chocolate treats labled "Quality Street"
- A Terry's Chocolate Orange
- Random Scroll
- Random Scroll
- Random Potion
- Random Potion
- Random Potion
Total: 2400 exp

Exploration:
- Explored 4 dungeon rooms (80 exp)

- 2 alternate entries found (200 exp)
Total: 280 exp

Events:
- After licking their wounds in town, the party meets up with Lulu and some randoms they found in town and schlepps back to the ominous grotto. (50 exp)
- Out front are some innocent gremlins making snow angels. Lulu persuades them into thinking her flamethrower unit is a snow machine. (50 exp)
- The elves agree to take the party to Santa. Pushing the "snow machine" ahead, the group discovers the most direct route is blocked by a red nosed reindeer positioned facing a misty portal in the wall. (50 exp)
- Lulu tests out the misty portal via jumping into it while attached to the rope. It is indeed a portal to the top of the mountain for launching sleds through. (50 exp)
- Two of the newcomers begin jumping over reindeer to get to the back, while Lulu distracts Rudolph with a mince pie and begins untying him. (50 exp)
- This concerns the gremlins, but Mana gives one a couple of poisoned mince pies while the other's head is somehow quietly punched off (50 exp)
- Meanwhile others go to inspect the next room and check out the workshop. distracting the cheerful gremlins within while the poisoned elf outside screams himself to death before being chucked out the window. (50 exp)

- The reindeer-jumpers continue to nail their rolls, making their way to the sleigh itself. Rattling off the names of the reindeer in perfect order makes them float and fly away, to the dismay of Santa Claus himself. (50 exp)
- Things begin to go entertainingly wrong as the sleigh is stolen and the lowest health'd members of the party fly it out of the portal and into a holding pattern. (50 exp)
- The facility goes on high alert and the workshop gremlins attack, only to be insta-barbequed by the flamethrower. Gleefully the flamethrower is wheeled towards Santa's grotto. (50 exp)
- Lulu on Rudolph-back and Stabbington lead the charge against Santa himself, doing embarrassing amounts of damage to the poor fat bastard through Lulu's incredibly powerful crits, despite the super cute mistletoe trap that caught nobody. (50 exp)
- A late appearance by giant toy guardians does very little as Lulu rips Santa Claus' fucking jaw off. Inside his mighty sack - presents! (50 exp)

- With Santa eliminated, the rest of his minions collapse. The original dyslexic cult leader is unfrozen and questioned before being thrown bodily through a portal to the frozen north, and anything not nailed down is hurriedly stuffed into Santa's super special expanding sack. (50 exp)
- The party jump on the sleigh and go on their merry way, festooned with presents and the blood of innocent gremlins on their hands. (50 exp)

Total: 700 exp

Misc:
- AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Headtaker bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)
- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- This! Is! Sparta! bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Overkilled Santa Claus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium Bonus (Sparky, Stabbington, Lulu - 100 exp ea.)
Total: 900 exp + bonuses

Rumours:
- None up here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None today!

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 45139 (Level up at 64000)
Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 5 Barbarian: 26276 (Level up at 32000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 12310 (Level up at 12000)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 9503 (Level up at 18000)
DING! +1d4 HP! +1 level 2 spell/day! +1 free spell!
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
Tom / Sparky, Level 1 Magic User: 770 (Level up at 2250)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
Oliver / Osar, Level 1 Specialist (Dabbler): 670 (Level up at 1500)