Session 278 - New Moondin Under New Management

 

Session 278 - New Moondin Under New Management

New Characters:
- Poison Phil, a grizzled Homesteader of the post-apocalypse, armed with a felling axe and a Fighter’s spirit.
- Voidshaft, some sort of horrible biomechanoid neo-Ratman who stowed away inside a corpse to get off the Moon. Surprisingly friendly.

Events:

--- Return to New Moondin
- We return to New Moondin after months of being on the actual moon! Curious onlookers are grateful to see the Snels-Seraphim fly off again, rather than do the now-passé technique of disgorging angels and taking over the town.

- Snels’ plan is to fly to Dwimmermount and start drilling down from the peak of the mountain, hoping to kill and/or save false gods Terms Termax and/or Eris. Seems there’s already a bit of a race against time at play!

- Walking through town they see goblin beggars shuffling through the streets asking for alms, while overhead the Spider-Priests are still in the process of re-rigging their electrified web-wires. Abandoned armoured cars and other Brotherhood-era relics are gathering dust in the corners and alleyways.

--- The Spider-Temple
- They head towards the Spider-Temple to see what’s up. The temple itself seems almost alive now, standing on eight long legs draped with webs. She’s greeted by a spider-priest and shown inside - the innards are rigged with strong webs and can be controlled by a pair of drift-compatible spider-people from a control room high above.
- They’re going to use this big motile temple to rig up and reinforce heavy comms-webs between towns. Much safer than relying on travel, and heavy-duty enough to surface the poison storms if everything goes well.
- The spiders tell Red that their dad is dead as usual, but Red counters that this isn’t true - he’s been subsumed into the Dharga! That massive flesh-tree to the north-west is part him! The spiders express their amazement, but they don’t know much about what’s going on that way.
- She also talks to her Pachycephalosauroid children. They each have a favourite colour, names of Renaissance artists, and a radical attitude. They grow up so fast!

--- The Chicken-Industrial Complex

- Next stop is a visit to DJ’s fried chicken business. They pass by Japhet & Hirsch’s tower on the way there, it’s wreathed with purple steam and topped with a single, blinking, watery eye. The eye itself looks far away into the wastes.
- They reach Ferfect Chicken and discover that it’s now a massive undertaking. There are three main fast food places, each with their own specialty. KFFC sells Ferfect Chicken Burgers which help protect against the weather, Goblin Hut’s Long Pizza improves Saves against Poison but may have side effects, and We’ve Got Crabs Ltd’s Crabbie Pattie helps you run away. All surprisingly on point!
- Jeremy Wizard tells the fast food workers that he owns the place, and they get the manager. An enormous spider called Corporal Chicken emerges and shows Jeremy round the back of house.
- It’s horrifying. Battery-farmed chickens are crushed into tiny cages. Stoneshell Crabs are mercilessly bred in a saltwater pool, jammed together, and processed for their meat and Last Breaths. Distantly there are cries of goblins. Allegedly fear makes the meat grow tender.

- Jeremy Wizard thinks this is all very modern and efficient and thanks the Corporal for his excellent maintenance of his business. He’s happy to leave the day-to-day management in Corporal Chicken’s eight capable hands!

--- To the Pub!
- That all unexpectedly sorted with no awkward questions or moral quandaries examined, the gang head to the pub. As luck would have it, the two-torsoed demon-masked Japhet & Hirsch are behind the bar! They’ve been helping out here since the goblin labour force disappeared underground into their Underhive after Styx was evicted.

- They listen around for rumours in case there’s anything spicy on the way to Dwimmermount. No such luck at the moment unfortunately.
- Also the Burning Bush has burnt down like 3 times since the party left for the moon - it happens.

--- Planning Session
- Japhet & Hirsch overhear the chat about how to get to Dwimmermount and offer their services - they’re interested in exploring the Wastes so they’re giving steeds and wagons to those heading out. Also they’re offering bounties to those willing to go out and find lost travellers, who they track via their remote-viewing eye tower.
- The gang consider the offer while planning their route to Dwimmermount by poring over old maps from the pre-apocalypse. The plan is to head up past Salisburgh and onwards to the great river Deeprush, then find a way to sail upriver to Dwimmermount.

- A new quest begins!

Total: 5000 exp

Roles:
Remembrancer: Charles (100 exp)
Triage: Timothy (100 exp)
Vanguard: Tom (100 exp)
Expedition Leader: George (100 exp)
Quartermaster: Kitty (100 exp)
Chef: Tom (100 exp)
Paymaster: Charles (100 exp)

Expeditions:
- Expedition Complete: 500 exp

- Planned Next Expedition: 500 exp
Total: 1000 exp

OOC Bonuses: - Art Attack bonus (Tom, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- BÜZBRINGYR Bonus (Everyone, probably - 100 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 8 Andromedan Vampire: 161540 (Level MAX) - Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 147412 (Level MAX) - Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 7 Magic-User: 95361 (Level up at 144000) - Tom / Voidshaft, Level 2 Neo-Ratman: 1600 (Level up at 3000) Level Up! +1d6 HP! Max Rats: 4! +Backstory! - George / Poison Phil, Level 1 Fighter: 1400 (Level up at 2000)