Session 279 - The Road to Robyn

Ah, the sweet balm of the hex-crawl returns once more!
Following ancient maps from before the End Times, our intrepid crew of explorers makes use of the clear summer days to roll up the main road towards Salisburgh.
Between unexpected rivers, crab-human relations, and a whole mess of resurgent mutant life - not to mention the surprise return of Gifflewim and Jeremy's soul - out heroes had a lot on their plates!
Except for food of course, that would have been too much to ask... 

Session 279 - The Road to Robyn

New Backstory:
- Beepbox had an opportunity to save his ailing father’s life when travelling doctors came to town, but he had to turn them down in order to save schoolful of kids. +2 to hit against creatures you witnessed harming innocents this session.

Supplies:
- 2 Frazzlejack (2 exp)

Events:

--- We’re Going To Need a Big Boat
- With Japhet & Hirsch supplying the party’s overland travel needs, the course is set for the party’s expedition out to Sir Robyn’s tower on the shores of the Lone Sea!
- But first, an aside in service of their next big trip. They order a strange vessel constructed - a ship with skeleton legs that they intend to use as an amphibious vehicle to take them all the way to Dwimmermount.

- The work begins, and the gang head out into the wastes!

--- Pedals to the Metal

- As luck would have it, it’s a nice clear day as they set off into the scoured lands! Jeremy Wizard drives the steed - a horrific spider-like horse skeleton - and pulls the wagon which features two big glaring eyes through which Japhet & Hirsch can view their progress.
- Most of the party stay within the relatively comfortable wagon, while Red rides on top with her rifle at the ready. Jeremy sets a rapid pace, the rugged trail and clear day making it an easy ride.

- They soon reach the main road towards Salisburgh and drive onwards, keeping up the pace. As Kink hives into view in the distance they begin to debate whether to blast through or just drive around. Last time they were here they met demons, after all.
- They compromise by skirting round the outskirts of town… only to remember that Kink is built over a river and has the only bridge for miles. Into town it is, then!

--- Crabs and People
- They cautiously rumble through the streets, seeing movement out of the corner of their eyes down alleyways and between houses. Crabs scuttling out of sight… or is it people?
- They approach the bridge and see that it’s got a load of stoneshell crabs on it, along with a bunch of oddly-attired people. They have big fake pincers on their hands and wiggly fake antennae on their heads, devices they seem to use to communicate with the crabs!
- Red knows some crab-language and uses it to try and get over the bridge, but her words are offensive! After a minor altercation, and a promise that they won’t come back, one of the crab-communicator men persuades the crabbos to let the wagon through. Phew!

--- Old Friends
- They roll onwards, making good use of the long summer daylight. They crunch through some crystals (Jeremy being told to “drive! drive!” out of what can only be dragon-sign), roll past the lovely-looking Samuel who they leave in the dust since he’s a literal demon, and finally stop for the night by the side of the road a mile onwards.
- Red finds a small outcrop of frazzlejack - shallot-like bulbs that grow near fallen angel metal - as she sets up camp. Thoughts turn to food - they didn’t bring much beyond some iron rations Jeremy has stashed away. Better than nothing!
- They settle down for the night, but during Beepbox’s watch he hears a yell! In the pale moonlight he sees a familiar face - Gifflewim! He pelts over the crest of a low hill towards the wagon, umbrella held aloft, chased by a whole lot of stoneshell crabs!
- Beepbox fires a beam rifle warning shot and the crabs turn and flee back from whence they came.
- All the noise has woken the rest of the party, who emerge from their beds to greet the weirdo merchant Elf. Jeremy trades back the Snels USB and some astroturf to get his soul back. Red trades her choker - the only thing she’s ever really owned from Sir Robyn - in exchange for some future boon. Gifflewim gives her one of his coins, which he’s circumspect about giving away these days.
- He agrees to stick with the party if they can drop him off at the camp up the road, they’re completely useless survivalists and easily grifted which is right up his alley.

--- Life Party
- Dawn breaks and the day opens to what looks to be an absolute scorcher. Gifflewim’s umbrella handily ensures that the nearby area has a light summer sprinkle of rain instead, so they head up north to this bad survivalist camp.
- They arrive in good time and see for themselves the effect that the Dharga has had on the local area. If anything, there’s now too much life around here. The sunburnt limbs of the great flesh-tree of Dharga stretch out from the diamond dino-dome, dripping and dropping big blobs of fat flesh that roll down to the lush and lurid sea of life below.
- They ask one of the locals what the fuck this is all about and they say they’re surviving here due to the gifts of the Dharga, feasting upon its off-cuts. A cry goes up from the village as they see a great hairy orb drop from the armpit of a tree-limb and roll across the plains towards them, apparently under its own power. It rips through a few tents as it rumbles to a halt in the village and the locals gather round to shave it, eat it and/or milk it.
- The local they were talking to goes to eat some too, and they see that there’s a horrible burbling second face on the back of their head. Clearly the price of easy life is at least a little bit of mutation...
- Gifflewim recommends that the party not go through there up to Salisburgh - it’s not in a good way as they can see. Instead they should probably off-road it towards the marshes and take up the trail again there.
- Poison Phil takes a rifle from the hands of a man who seems to be mutating into a puddle of flesh and gets on the wagon. It’s time to move on!

--- Heatstroke
- They roll on, heading south-west as per Gifflewim’s recommendation. It’s still really fucking hot,  and without the magic umbrella the heat really starts getting to people. Red is especially affected in her heavy armour. After a few hours of this Jeremy stops the cart - there’s got to be something they can do! He tries out a few runes until he makes an air conditioner for inside the wagon. Much better!
- Jeremy takes them further at a very slow rate to avoid crashing - they’re rumbling over rough terrain now. Red jumps out to get a drink of water as Jeremy steers them past a thin stream and gets a horrible shock when she looks into the depths and sees a faceless face staring back! They move swiftly on.

- They continue through an area rippled like dunes and veined with cracks like shattered glass and settle down as the day turns to dusk.

--- Woodsmoke
- Jeremy Wizard smells woodsmoke during his watch that night and, intrigued, follows it. Amidst swirling woodsmoke he sees a house on stilts and approaches it. A young woman’s voice calls out to him, and he sees her waving from the doorway. He turns and flees back through the smoke, but he can’t find his way out! He’s trapped! He -
-
- He opens his eyes and sees the rest of the party standing around him. Some watchman! But why does he smell of woodsmoke?
- He groggily looks around the campsite - all perfectly fine. Raindrops begin to fall from fat grey clouds overhead. The heatwave has been broken by a summer storm!
- Next time… do they brave the rain on the way to Sir Robyn’s tower?

Total: 7000 exp

Expeditions:
- Expedition Begun!: 500 exp
- Change of Plans: 100 exp
Total: 600 exp

Roles:
Remembrancer: Charles (100 exp)
Triage: Timothy (100 exp)
Vanguard: Ollie (100 exp)
Expedition Leader: George (100 exp)
Cartographer: George (100 exp)
Quartermaster: Ollie (100 exp)
Chef: Izzy (100 exp)
Paymaster: Charles (100 exp)

OOC Bonuses:
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 149033 (Level MAX)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 127133 (Level MAX)

- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 7 Magic-User: 97182 (Level up at 144000)

- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 7 Cleric of the New Eden: 78099 (Level up at 112000)

- George / Poison Phil, Level 2 Fighter: 3121 (Level up at 4000)

Level Up! +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +backstory!