Date: July 15, 14 p.p.
Moon: Full Dragon Face
Zenith: The Lady
New Backstory:
Swan the Swift burned an entire town down during a raid... which he insists was an act of mercy. +1 to actions that are noble or righteous.
Swan the Swift burned an entire town down during a raid... which he insists was an act of mercy. +1 to actions that are noble or righteous.
Events:
--- Casing the Piggy Bank
- Inside a giant nostril deep in the Meatlands, the party plans their next move. The day is here. It's time to rob the bank! Not only will this hopefully make them rich, but it'll also destabilise the Meat Lord's meat economy.
- First things first, to case the place. Wearing completely unsuspicious disguises, they walk straight in the front door (well, mouth) of the bank. It is, naturally, an enormous pig.
- They note eyeballs growing on the ceiling and peering at people in the queue for the bank. Looks like that's a security feature! The queue inside is even longer and they clearly don't have enough clerks.
- When they finally reach the front, the bored clerk wearing very a sexy bank teller costume for some reason explains the banks' remarkably shit interest rates and other such minutiae. Iskander hides the worm-attracting relic bone inside a single sausage and deposits it with the bank. This will help them break in when they start the heist!
- Inside a giant nostril deep in the Meatlands, the party plans their next move. The day is here. It's time to rob the bank! Not only will this hopefully make them rich, but it'll also destabilise the Meat Lord's meat economy.
- First things first, to case the place. Wearing completely unsuspicious disguises, they walk straight in the front door (well, mouth) of the bank. It is, naturally, an enormous pig.
- They note eyeballs growing on the ceiling and peering at people in the queue for the bank. Looks like that's a security feature! The queue inside is even longer and they clearly don't have enough clerks.
- When they finally reach the front, the bored clerk wearing very a sexy bank teller costume for some reason explains the banks' remarkably shit interest rates and other such minutiae. Iskander hides the worm-attracting relic bone inside a single sausage and deposits it with the bank. This will help them break in when they start the heist!
--- Infiltrator Worm
- They return to their nostril HQ and prepare. Celebus wraps and sews together the roll of wormskin they have to create a smaller worm and animates it. Digging equipment is a go!
- A quick detour to the shops to get heist equipment on the way, and the worm team is set.
- Eegor heads to the bank to create a sexy distraction, and the heist is a go!
- They drill through the ground, the worm innately able to follow the worm-attraction necklace even in undeath. It chews through the flesh and meat and comes out in what looks to be one of the pig's massive lungs!
- They drill through the ground, the worm innately able to follow the worm-attraction necklace even in undeath. It chews through the flesh and meat and comes out in what looks to be one of the pig's massive lungs!
--- Bloody Guards
Tyler Lockheart sneaks up the stairs carved out of the lung and checks out what's above. It's a heart! And inside, not noticing him, are four meaty guards.
- Celebus helps shave Swan's leg so that he can seduce the guards, and helps him into a sexy bank teller costume. He goes up the stairs, sticks out his shaven leg, and coos "seductively". The guard... falls for it! He follows "her" down the stairs... and she immediately betrays him! A swift trip and he falls into the grinding maw of the worm which is still grinding away like a sarlacc!
- The guy explodes into blood, and the other guards come to see what just caused a Wilhelm Scream!
- They drip blood from their pores, and it quickly becomes obvious that the guards can turn themselves completely into moving pools of blood!
- It doesn't help them for long. Despite Iskander's crossbow snapping clean in half the guards are, one by one, kicked into the sarlacc pit. Turning into blood can't save them from the worm!
- Celebus helps shave Swan's leg so that he can seduce the guards, and helps him into a sexy bank teller costume. He goes up the stairs, sticks out his shaven leg, and coos "seductively". The guard... falls for it! He follows "her" down the stairs... and she immediately betrays him! A swift trip and he falls into the grinding maw of the worm which is still grinding away like a sarlacc!
- The guy explodes into blood, and the other guards come to see what just caused a Wilhelm Scream!
- They drip blood from their pores, and it quickly becomes obvious that the guards can turn themselves completely into moving pools of blood!
- It doesn't help them for long. Despite Iskander's crossbow snapping clean in half the guards are, one by one, kicked into the sarlacc pit. Turning into blood can't save them from the worm!
--- HRmaggeddon
- Threat eliminated, Tyler sneaks up the stairs further and finds the other lung contains a bunch of pig pens and, yes, living pigs! He also sees at least one guard with an anglerfish-headed guard dog.
- Threat eliminated, Tyler sneaks up the stairs further and finds the other lung contains a bunch of pig pens and, yes, living pigs! He also sees at least one guard with an anglerfish-headed guard dog.
- Leaving that alone for now, the team looks out into the room beyond the heart. It's sort of a big stomach, with a fair number of clerks diligently working at desks tracking meat stocks. Clerks pushing trolleys piled high with strings of sausages push them back and forth across the floor, taking the meat money to and from the tellers out front of house.
- Swan, still dressed in sexy bank teller gear, tries to grab one of the meat-laden trolleys. The guy pushing it is aghast and complains to the manager - an incredibly angry man with pulsing veins in his forehead!
- After some wrestling, during which the manager gets more and more hulked out as he complains about overwork, Swan loses the wrestle and is kicked out onto the main floor!
- Celebus sneakily shoots the manager with a stun blowdart, and the guy keels over. It's suddenly chaos as the clerks run about wondering what to do!
- Swan claims the manager sexually harassed him and HR is summoned forth! A very loud and very Australian HR lackey bustles past the rest of the party, who are watching on with amazement, and deals with the issue by having the guards take Swan to a debriefing chamber.
- Inside the debriefing zone... Eegor who was previously arrested for his sexy distraction out the front of the bank is there. Perfect.
- After various HR shenanigans Eegor and Swan are released from the chamber with their severance pay... a meagre two sausages each. What zero unionisation does to a mf.
- Swan, still dressed in sexy bank teller gear, tries to grab one of the meat-laden trolleys. The guy pushing it is aghast and complains to the manager - an incredibly angry man with pulsing veins in his forehead!
- After some wrestling, during which the manager gets more and more hulked out as he complains about overwork, Swan loses the wrestle and is kicked out onto the main floor!
- Celebus sneakily shoots the manager with a stun blowdart, and the guy keels over. It's suddenly chaos as the clerks run about wondering what to do!
- Swan claims the manager sexually harassed him and HR is summoned forth! A very loud and very Australian HR lackey bustles past the rest of the party, who are watching on with amazement, and deals with the issue by having the guards take Swan to a debriefing chamber.
- Inside the debriefing zone... Eegor who was previously arrested for his sexy distraction out the front of the bank is there. Perfect.
- After various HR shenanigans Eegor and Swan are released from the chamber with their severance pay... a meagre two sausages each. What zero unionisation does to a mf.
--- Packing Meat
- Meanwhile the others sneak around, since basically everyone in the vicinity is still tied up with these Human Resources distractions.
- They see where the sausage trolleys are being taken - a big sorting pancreas. The middle-manager within has octopus tentacles and is processing sausage incomings and outgoings, taking in deposits and using them to give to people withdrawing their meat cash. He's busy and flustered and when the party seems to be getting in the way frustratedly moves them on!
- The door opposite gives way to a room with pools of acid and locked safes under it! Surely high value meats are contained within. There is no obvious way of draining the acid to get to the safes, so for now the greedy team can merely look and imagine what's within.
- Going out of the room, they hear a loud announcement that due to an HR dispute the bank is closing early! Convenient! Several of the clerks announce that they're going to the pub, and invite the party along with them! Must be new guys, see.
- Celebus and Iskander go to the pub with the clerks, while Amanta and Tyler hide until the bank is closed and sneak back to the sausage trolley sorting room to steal those sweet sausages. There are about 4000 all told, and they squeakily push the trolley back to the worm in the lung so they can store them for later exfiltration...
- Meanwhile the others sneak around, since basically everyone in the vicinity is still tied up with these Human Resources distractions.
- They see where the sausage trolleys are being taken - a big sorting pancreas. The middle-manager within has octopus tentacles and is processing sausage incomings and outgoings, taking in deposits and using them to give to people withdrawing their meat cash. He's busy and flustered and when the party seems to be getting in the way frustratedly moves them on!
- The door opposite gives way to a room with pools of acid and locked safes under it! Surely high value meats are contained within. There is no obvious way of draining the acid to get to the safes, so for now the greedy team can merely look and imagine what's within.
- Going out of the room, they hear a loud announcement that due to an HR dispute the bank is closing early! Convenient! Several of the clerks announce that they're going to the pub, and invite the party along with them! Must be new guys, see.
- Celebus and Iskander go to the pub with the clerks, while Amanta and Tyler hide until the bank is closed and sneak back to the sausage trolley sorting room to steal those sweet sausages. There are about 4000 all told, and they squeakily push the trolley back to the worm in the lung so they can store them for later exfiltration...
Treasure:
- 4000 sausages (4000 exp)
- Swan the Swift's dignity (priceless)
- 4000 sausages (4000 exp)
- Swan the Swift's dignity (priceless)
Enemies Defeated:
- 4 blood-transforming guards, worm food (300 exp)
- An extremely angry boss, stun-darted (100 exp)
- The HR system, survived (2 exp)
- 4 blood-transforming guards, worm food (300 exp)
- An extremely angry boss, stun-darted (100 exp)
- The HR system, survived (2 exp)
OOC:
Charles - Chronicler
George - Expedition Leader
Ollie - Quartermaster and Triage
Kitty - Vanguard
100 exp ea.
Charles - Chronicler
George - Expedition Leader
Ollie - Quartermaster and Triage
Kitty - Vanguard
100 exp ea.
Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 6 Barbarian: 34604 (Level up at 64000)
- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 5 Fighter: 24508 (Level up at 32000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 5 Necromancer: 24129 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / Amanta, Level 5 Mantis Specialist: 21387 (Level up at 28000)
- James G / Tyler Lockheart, Level 3 Specialist: 4181 (Level up at 6000)
