Date: August 7, 21p.p.
Moon: Waning Crescent - Clean Face
Zenith: Eris
Zenith: Eris
New Characters:
- The Meat Up - a group of philosopher Extras led by a dog named Didogenes
- The Meat Up - a group of philosopher Extras led by a dog named Didogenes
Events:
--- Heists Complete!
- The meat city of Salivasburger is in chaos and the T-Bone Tower, the centre of the Meat Lord's might, is now vulnerable.
- The Meat Mechs have been forced to retreat to their depot, exposed due to the impact of a massive undead worm.
- The Meatworks are collapsing into a mutated mess of meaty monstrosity due to a certain industrial accident in the mutant vats, keeping the Carnomancers very busy.
- There's a run on the Piggy Bank, so the population are rioting and forced to eat nasty meat without access to their clean meat deposits.
- And the Skullcrabs are on-side with the Bone Lord's rebellion, since they care not who their ultimate master is so long as they're in control of the city's hidden vegetable supply.
- The meat city of Salivasburger is in chaos and the T-Bone Tower, the centre of the Meat Lord's might, is now vulnerable.
- The Meat Mechs have been forced to retreat to their depot, exposed due to the impact of a massive undead worm.
- The Meatworks are collapsing into a mutated mess of meaty monstrosity due to a certain industrial accident in the mutant vats, keeping the Carnomancers very busy.
- There's a run on the Piggy Bank, so the population are rioting and forced to eat nasty meat without access to their clean meat deposits.
- And the Skullcrabs are on-side with the Bone Lord's rebellion, since they care not who their ultimate master is so long as they're in control of the city's hidden vegetable supply.
- The Meat Lord is weak, and the Bone Lord's noble warriors are ready to charge the tower. To arms!
--- Ez scout ez life
- The team enter the meaty interior of the tower via stolen Meat Mech hand. The Bone Lord's troops are running through the medium-rare corridors of the T-Bone Tower, fighting in close-quarters combat with the Meat Lord's visibly weakened troops. Long nails instead of claws, calloused skin instead of scales, that sort of thing. The impact of the attack on the Meatworks.
- Guido the Bone Lord has already told them what he knows of the interior, and some nearby Skullcrabs stop fighting the Bone Lord's troops when they're reminded that they're on the same side. Onwards!
- A skullcrab scouts ahead, spotting a pit trap and an otherwise empty room. The party jumps the pit trap and finds a bunch of fine rolled-up meat carpets like kebabs. Brill! They chuck the loot into Celebus' graffitied undead worm and head back in.
- They keep happening to run into friendly Skullcrabs who scout out the next location for them. Very convenient!
- The team enter the meaty interior of the tower via stolen Meat Mech hand. The Bone Lord's troops are running through the medium-rare corridors of the T-Bone Tower, fighting in close-quarters combat with the Meat Lord's visibly weakened troops. Long nails instead of claws, calloused skin instead of scales, that sort of thing. The impact of the attack on the Meatworks.
- Guido the Bone Lord has already told them what he knows of the interior, and some nearby Skullcrabs stop fighting the Bone Lord's troops when they're reminded that they're on the same side. Onwards!
- A skullcrab scouts ahead, spotting a pit trap and an otherwise empty room. The party jumps the pit trap and finds a bunch of fine rolled-up meat carpets like kebabs. Brill! They chuck the loot into Celebus' graffitied undead worm and head back in.
- They keep happening to run into friendly Skullcrabs who scout out the next location for them. Very convenient!
--- Mad Romance
- They run into some thorny Goblins who have dug in from underneath with thorny vines. They're here to kill the Meat Lord for the greater good of the Idea of Thorns!
- The one they first meet is in a complicated relationship with the one in the next room. They've both got anthers, so they could never become a pea-pod and make children together.
- After much to-do, the goblins are persuaded that their love is ok, and all is resolved in a lovely manner.
- The leave, passing yet another Skullcrab who is piling rusty spoons on a table and who scouts ahead yet again!
- Passing by a colourful room full of fighting warriors and leaving them well alone, the team enters a room of pooling congealed fat. A big fat statue animates and offers a blessing which Amanta takes... for the next 24 hours she can turn people into bacon!
--- Say Thy Name
- Backtracking slightly, they come to a big cancerous gullet with skin tags hanging down and little mouths that boom out "SPEAK THY NAME AND ENTER!".
- The Meat Up shout "the Meat Up!" and enter with no problem.
- Amanta shouts "Hamanta!" and enters with no problem.
- Swan the Swift announces his true name - "Ill-Fate Snels!" and enters with no problem.
- Celebus shouts "the chicken man!" and is swiftly squirted with a bunch of pus from the cancerous growths! Yuck!
- They run into some thorny Goblins who have dug in from underneath with thorny vines. They're here to kill the Meat Lord for the greater good of the Idea of Thorns!
- The one they first meet is in a complicated relationship with the one in the next room. They've both got anthers, so they could never become a pea-pod and make children together.
- After much to-do, the goblins are persuaded that their love is ok, and all is resolved in a lovely manner.
- The leave, passing yet another Skullcrab who is piling rusty spoons on a table and who scouts ahead yet again!
- Passing by a colourful room full of fighting warriors and leaving them well alone, the team enters a room of pooling congealed fat. A big fat statue animates and offers a blessing which Amanta takes... for the next 24 hours she can turn people into bacon!
--- Say Thy Name
- Backtracking slightly, they come to a big cancerous gullet with skin tags hanging down and little mouths that boom out "SPEAK THY NAME AND ENTER!".
- The Meat Up shout "the Meat Up!" and enter with no problem.
- Amanta shouts "Hamanta!" and enters with no problem.
- Swan the Swift announces his true name - "Ill-Fate Snels!" and enters with no problem.
- Celebus shouts "the chicken man!" and is swiftly squirted with a bunch of pus from the cancerous growths! Yuck!
- They are attacked by a creature that is all legs and anuses, but they beat the crap out of it.
- They pass through a room where strings of sausages dangle from the ceiling. They decide it's a trap, given the way the sausages are pulsing, and leave well alone.
--- Against the Meat Lord!
- They enter a familiar chamber, softly lit by the pale white dragon chained to the roof, dripping glowing white liquid from its wounds which are being suckled upon by enormous leeches!
- It's the Dragon's Den yet again!
- Corpulus Thrall, the Meat Lord, a huge skin-kite stretched taut over the body of a huge flesh colossus, pores over a map of the city looking stressed out. He mutters about how it's all gone wrong, then looks up to see the party walk in!
- They pass through a room where strings of sausages dangle from the ceiling. They decide it's a trap, given the way the sausages are pulsing, and leave well alone.
--- Against the Meat Lord!
- They enter a familiar chamber, softly lit by the pale white dragon chained to the roof, dripping glowing white liquid from its wounds which are being suckled upon by enormous leeches!
- It's the Dragon's Den yet again!
- Corpulus Thrall, the Meat Lord, a huge skin-kite stretched taut over the body of a huge flesh colossus, pores over a map of the city looking stressed out. He mutters about how it's all gone wrong, then looks up to see the party walk in!
- "Stuff and wotsit, it's bally well you blighters!" he blathers, and attacks!
- Celebus chugs some potions while Amanta crawls up the wall, hoping to jump out onto the Meat Lord's back.
- The Meat Lord strikes Eegor and Swan with his mighty fists, and they stick to his fists like knuckledusters!
- The Meat Up see some backup rushing in from a side corridor - a huge meaty guy with four arms and huge muscles! Didogenes stands his ground, barking philosophically.
- What's this? Iskander is here! Jumping out of Swan's necklace he simultaneously kicks Swan in the groin to dislodge him from the sticky fist, and slices down with his bloodsucking fish-sword! Swan whangs down on the Meat Lord's back with a poisoned hammer. What a team!
- Amanta jumps down from the wall, big mantis elbow-claws bared, and stabs into the back of the Meat Lord's head, sliding down his back and opening his big body up in absolute gouts of blood. He's dead!
- Celebus chugs some potions while Amanta crawls up the wall, hoping to jump out onto the Meat Lord's back.
- The Meat Lord strikes Eegor and Swan with his mighty fists, and they stick to his fists like knuckledusters!
- The Meat Up see some backup rushing in from a side corridor - a huge meaty guy with four arms and huge muscles! Didogenes stands his ground, barking philosophically.
- What's this? Iskander is here! Jumping out of Swan's necklace he simultaneously kicks Swan in the groin to dislodge him from the sticky fist, and slices down with his bloodsucking fish-sword! Swan whangs down on the Meat Lord's back with a poisoned hammer. What a team!
- Amanta jumps down from the wall, big mantis elbow-claws bared, and stabs into the back of the Meat Lord's head, sliding down his back and opening his big body up in absolute gouts of blood. He's dead!
- The backup four-armed meat man puts up his arms in surrender. It's over.
--- Bone Lord Victory!
- Guido shows up with his army and gawps at how quickly the party took down the Meat Lord. That was the boss!
- But with that, the city is under new management! Now known as Beyond Salivasburger (tm), it shall be turned into the Wheatlands of Swans' dreams!
- Now that they've got a bodyguard, the party looks around for loot. They find a (literal) chest with 3500 sausages, a goblet made of a preserved boob, a very long 10' bone, an actual Hand of Glory whose light can only be seen by the holder, a surprisingly nice incense burner, and an axe with a handle made of a spine that gives +4 to hit against vertebrates.
- Celebus takes the boob goblet, naturally.
- Guido shows up with his army and gawps at how quickly the party took down the Meat Lord. That was the boss!
- But with that, the city is under new management! Now known as Beyond Salivasburger (tm), it shall be turned into the Wheatlands of Swans' dreams!
- Now that they've got a bodyguard, the party looks around for loot. They find a (literal) chest with 3500 sausages, a goblet made of a preserved boob, a very long 10' bone, an actual Hand of Glory whose light can only be seen by the holder, a surprisingly nice incense burner, and an axe with a handle made of a spine that gives +4 to hit against vertebrates.
- Celebus takes the boob goblet, naturally.
Total: 7000 exp
Loot:
- classic Hand of Glory
- Spine Axe
- Incense Burner (100 exp)
- 3 Kebabs (3000 exp)
- 2500 sausages (2500 exp)
- Boob Goblet
- 10' bone
Total: 5600 exp
- classic Hand of Glory
- Spine Axe
- Incense Burner (100 exp)
- 3 Kebabs (3000 exp)
- 2500 sausages (2500 exp)
- Boob Goblet
- 10' bone
Total: 5600 exp
Foes Defeated:
- The Meat Lord himself! (1500 exp)
- A sadly too-slow four-armed Meat Man (500 exp)
- A many-legged bum beast (75 exp)
Total: 2075 exp
- The Meat Lord himself! (1500 exp)
- A sadly too-slow four-armed Meat Man (500 exp)
- A many-legged bum beast (75 exp)
Total: 2075 exp
Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 6 Barbarian: 48063 (Level up at 64000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 42918 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Amanta, Level 6 Mantis Specialist: 40076 (Level up at 56000)
- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 6 Fighter: 39739 (Level up at 64000)
- Tom / The Meat Up, Level 2 Extras: 3035 (Level up at 3500)
Level Up! +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +Backstory!
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