Date: 13 August, 21 p.p.
Moon: Waning Gibbous - Dragon Face
Zenith: Dispater
Zenith: Dispater
New Backstory:
- A terrible thing followed Aemilius Princeps back home one night... specifically because he'd dominated it with his Halfling powers and made it follow him back home. Once per session, cause the most terrible threat on the local encounter table to show up somehow.
- A terrible thing followed Aemilius Princeps back home one night... specifically because he'd dominated it with his Halfling powers and made it follow him back home. Once per session, cause the most terrible threat on the local encounter table to show up somehow.
Events:
--- The End of a Fantasy
- After years of fantastical war against the invading Turk, Dorian surveys his vast painted kingdom from atop the walls of a Constantinople that never fell. It is the end of the old age, and the start of the new. His unicorn, now grey around the muzzle, nuzzles his cheek. The world has been conquered, but now it is time to return to the real world and leave this place behind for a time.
- After years of fantastical war against the invading Turk, Dorian surveys his vast painted kingdom from atop the walls of a Constantinople that never fell. It is the end of the old age, and the start of the new. His unicorn, now grey around the muzzle, nuzzles his cheek. The world has been conquered, but now it is time to return to the real world and leave this place behind for a time.
- A small voice speaks in Latin. It's Aemilius Princeps and he is clearly more real than the rest of this oilpaint unreality. After a long time in a foreign land, the self-proclaimed Emperor of Rome has returned!
- They leave the painting, Dorian's crown melting away as they step down from the wall and onto the flagstones of the dungeon-within-a-dungeon Dorian entered hours ago, or years ago, depending on how you measure time.
- Aemilius' trained goat is here! As is Swan the Swift who still thinks he's a flesh golem, and to the mild disappointment of all the surviving manservant Jonathon Toast.
--- Guards! Guards!
- Just then, a vine-rimmed portal opens up! Out step two robot-shaped guards made from grapes. They demand that they are the Dharga's immune system and that the party must be ejected immediately!
- Aemilius explains that he's a tax collector, Dorian is obviously part of the Dharga so he's not a threat, and Swan explains that he is in fact obviously a flesh golem. The guards leave, saying they need to speak to their manager.
- Aemilius has the cunning plan to take the paintings as VR experiences and/or escape routes, so they are all rolled up and divided between the goat and Jonathon Toast.
- Aemilius explains that he's a tax collector, Dorian is obviously part of the Dharga so he's not a threat, and Swan explains that he is in fact obviously a flesh golem. The guards leave, saying they need to speak to their manager.
- Aemilius has the cunning plan to take the paintings as VR experiences and/or escape routes, so they are all rolled up and divided between the goat and Jonathon Toast.
--- Sacrifice
- They continue to explore, heading down some stairs into a chapel to Dispater. Those Bosnians last week definitely worshipped Dispater, so that makes sense. Swan digs up a bible from behind a pew.
- He prays to Dispater and hears the whispered words of He of the Subtle Knife. That Swan is a man, not a flesh golem, and that using the altar to sacrifice an animal will allow you to transform into the beast during a full moon.
- They continue to explore, heading down some stairs into a chapel to Dispater. Those Bosnians last week definitely worshipped Dispater, so that makes sense. Swan digs up a bible from behind a pew.
- He prays to Dispater and hears the whispered words of He of the Subtle Knife. That Swan is a man, not a flesh golem, and that using the altar to sacrifice an animal will allow you to transform into the beast during a full moon.
- Aemilius shields his goat from the party's avaricious eyes! Nobody wants to turn into Jonathon Toast so he's out too.
- Swan disbelieves the god about the flesh golem thing. He's obviously a flesh golem since he's obviously made of meat.
--- Joan of Bosnia
- They press on with an eye out for animals, coming to a round room with a big stained glass window showing Joan of Arc Bosnia. Aemilius investigates and discovers the glass is soft like skin. She implies that sacrificing someone on the altar will free her... but unfortunately Toast is carrying the paintings so they'll need to find a replacement loud dogsbody if they want to kill him.
- They continue, finding a room with loads of opulent yet giant clothing. They attempt painting-based storage solutions, but anything dropped on the painting simply gets added to the painting itself.
- They decide to come back later, and explore a few other rooms. One has been ransacked by Croatian ultras, and another has a mirror that shows your skeleton instead of your reflection. Swan's insistence on being a flesh golem starts to crack - flesh golems should be way more fucked up inside.
--- Guards! Guards!
- No sooner do they try to take the skeleton mirror outside for later pickup and sale, than more guards show up! Some 1s on the encounter table, finally! These are robotic like the grape guards, but made of wax!
- Tyler Lockheart shows up too! Presumably struggling free from the guards.
- Tyler Lockheart shows up too! Presumably struggling free from the guards.
- This time the guards have checked with the manager and the party needs to be brutally arrested. Aemilius tries to summon the legal spirit of Sir Robyn but he's been recently involved in a magic-related incident and is no longer alive.
- Battle is joined with the wax officers while Tyler smokes a roll-up unhelpfully nearby.
- Swan wields the goat as a weapon while a guard smashes Aemilius' skeleton porter. Sad! He was the reloader! In revenge Aemilius Dominates one of the guards, sending it against its fellows while Dorian and Swan batter it.
- Soon only two wax guards remain, one of them dominated. Aemilius sends it off back to HQ to write up a report about how everything went fine actually.
- Dorian eats a guard to gain its waxy powers. Swan's iron stomach prevails as he eats another to heal.
--- Joan Returns
- They head back, dragging the skele-mirror and some of the heavy coats with them, only to find Joan scratching at the window, stretching the skein. Tyler tries to calm her down with a spliff, and Swan blasts her with a Jim Beam to get her drunk.
- It's all for naught however, since Aemilius tries to Dominate the Bosnian Saint and fails, enraging the glassy maiden. She shatters the glass and strides forth, free at last!
- It's all for naught however, since Aemilius tries to Dominate the Bosnian Saint and fails, enraging the glassy maiden. She shatters the glass and strides forth, free at last!
- The party flee because of course.
- A chase scene follows, with many twists and turns as they run through the hallowed halls. Very Scooby Doo.
- A chase scene follows, with many twists and turns as they run through the hallowed halls. Very Scooby Doo.
- She catches up to the party in the painting room and battle is joined! Luckily Swan has a load of painful blade poison and slices it deep into Joan's leg. She roars in agony then immediately falls unconscious, shattering on the flagstones. Anticimactic!
- Aemilius scoops the shards into the painting of the giant fish, trapping her shattered body inside.
--- Some Giants
- Swan goes for a nap in one of the bedrooms and finds a giant lady, dead, on the bed. She's got a cool ring with a cabochon, and when Swan puts it on as a crown he finds that he's possessed by a presence that makes him feel fanatical and narrow-minded. Perhaps the spirit of Snels?!
- Swan goes for a nap in one of the bedrooms and finds a giant lady, dead, on the bed. She's got a cool ring with a cabochon, and when Swan puts it on as a crown he finds that he's possessed by a presence that makes him feel fanatical and narrow-minded. Perhaps the spirit of Snels?!
- The giant is also wearing a glowing cloth robe, which Aemilius tears off a piece of and attaches to his floating moon rock to create a sort of glowing balloon.
- The next room has some dead inquisitor guys in buckle hats and a bunch of smashed coffins. Aemilius gets a hat for the goat, very cute. The inquisitors were clearly killed by a trapped coffin. One coffin remains untouched...
- Inside there's another dead giant, perfectly preserved. Her hands rest on a globus cruciger, a holy hand grenade looking thing, and when held in both hands negates magic. Swan takes it, since he's the least magic.
- Inside there's another dead giant, perfectly preserved. Her hands rest on a globus cruciger, a holy hand grenade looking thing, and when held in both hands negates magic. Swan takes it, since he's the least magic.
Total: 8000 exp
Treasure:
- 8 magic paintings (8000 exp)
- Giant clothes (10000 exp)
- Giant cabochon ring (1000 exp)
- Skeleton Mirror (2000 exp)
- Anti-Magic Globus Cruciger
- Giant clothes (10000 exp)
- Giant cabochon ring (1000 exp)
- Skeleton Mirror (2000 exp)
- Anti-Magic Globus Cruciger
Total: 21000 exp
Foes Defeated:
- Wax Guards (300 exp)
- Joan of Bosnia (200 exp)
Total: 500 exp
- Joan of Bosnia (200 exp)
Total: 500 exp
Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 69173 (Level up at 128000)
Level Up! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Rolls! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Rolls! +Backstory!
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 5 Inheritor: 24492 (Level up at 36000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Mutation Cap! +1 Meat Point! +Backstory!
- James G / Tyler Lockheart, Level 5 Specialist: 20834 (Level up at 24000)
- Timothy / Aemelius Princeps, Level 4 Halfling: 14087 (Level up at 16000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Domination! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Domination! +Backstory!
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