Tuesday 9 August 2022

Session 324 - Snakes Alive!

Date: 21 August, 22 p.p.

Moon: New - Dragonwane
Zenith: Minerva


New Backstory:
- Jojo's twin, Apollo, got punished for tipping over Swan's family heirloom... but it was Jojo who did the deed. Eventually Jojo admitted that it was her fault! (At will, cause a randomly targeted attack to hit you instead).
- Dorian let a wampire lady in through a fleshy "window" of the Dharga, leading to much hijinx. (Once per session, replace a random encounter with the least threatening thing on the local encounter table).


Events:

--- Snakes!
- After last session's ominous snakey foreshadowing, it's time for snakes! Big ones!
- The party enters a room with snake theming, a massive snake slithering around the machinery on the ceiling, and multiple smaller (but still very big comparatively) snakes writhing through the cogs and pistons of the walls.
- An old joke about snake snanguage returns! All snake words snart with a sness and a snenn!
- The snakes snattack! Dorian attempts a blow dart to very little effect! Celebus tries something insnane and snanimates a shed snake skin.
- The skin kite snake skin will go on to absorb the skin of every last motherfucking snake in the motherfucking room as they are chucked straight into its skin-maw.
- The larger snake has a great time biting at one person while trying to squeeze another in its coils, then chucking them at other people. 
- Celebus gets squeezed by one of the smaller snakes and simply ejects from his flesh! The snake is left to curl around a blob of skin and organs while the True Celebus, the bony skeleton version, runs around punching other snakes.
- Jojo who gets thrown to the ground then murders the big snake with a crossbow bolt! Pour one out for the XXXL danger noodle.
- Celebus, knowing that skin kites can be complete aresholes, climbs back into his itchy skin prison and reanimates the big snake as a snake zombie! It picks up the now very big skin kite snake in its mouth and carries it around to stop it from eating people unsanctioned.

--- Loot!
- Dorian searches around for anything interesting and finds a thing of interest! It's a Morning Star of Ridiculous Wounding and does extremely silly damage at the cost of your Constitution.
- Celebus finds some snobols in the snake snoo.
- Jojo sees a very limited map of the level which is at least somewhat useful. She photographs it with her magic photography spell which she hadn't prepared this morning... and it Chaos Bursts! Other than some spectacular vomiting it has no other effect, thank goodness.
- They spend some time eating.

--- Books!
- They move on and find a looted library containing a few leftover books. They are titled The World Behind the Mirror, the Nature of Dwarfs, and the Nature of Demons.
- They have a little read and find out some minor lore.
- Some gravitational distortion warps them back to the start of the room as they try to leave. Jojo surmises that there's a dragon of a gravitational nature around these here parts.

--- A god damn iguana
- They poke around the dungeon some more, finding a snake-themed room with a massive iguanadon in it. Some shenanigans and Meat Points from Dorian later, they lock it in a snake-themed throne room. It piques their interest, but nobody is game to face down the big iguana just for the sake of a cool throne room.
- Thankfully the iguanadon room has a few beds in it, so they decide to block off the door with various furniture and have a nice nap. What could go wrong??

Total: 5000 exp


Loot:
- The Morningstar of Ridiculous Wounding
- Some loose obols (18 exp)
- 2 holy snake medallions (1000 exp)
- Some loose snake-themed trinkets (18 exp)
Total: 1036 exp



Enemies Defeated:
- A very big snake (250 exp)
- Some smaller snakes (200 exp)
- A rather large iguana (100 exp)
Total: 550 exp



Exp Totals:
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 60066 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 6 Inheritor: 42415 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 7001 (Level up at 9000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +free spell! +backstory!







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