Tuesday, 7 March 2023

Session 338 - The Session Before Shub-Wizardwrath Killed Everyone (TBD)

Date: 28 February, 22 p.p.

Moon: Clean Gibbous
Zenith: Eris

New Backstory:
- Jojo was born under an omen of hope - namely her father's death! Once ever, save someone from something that would have killed them.
- Sydney learnt the horrible falsity of reality from a dying cultist. +1 Wisdom


--- Aliens?!
- The party, rather large today, enter the final zone before the big boss they know as Shub-Wizardwrath. The machinery in the walls and floor is stopped and gunked up. A river of the Cruor flows through a channel splitting the room in two.
- There are bodies. Two huge gorilla-like beings with alien faces, and one creature that looks like a childhood pet was melded with Shub-Niggurath and given a load of tentacles and chainsaw limbs. All of them are dead. Footprints lead off from the far side of the channel and down a corridor...
- Celebus tears the chainsaw limbs from the body and reanimates them as biomechanical weapons! Sick!
- Grumblebelch pokes the stepping stones across the channel. It looks like they'll bounce you into the air if you step on them!
- Yea nah, not messing with those things OR the thing that killed all these dead monsters. The party sets off in the other direction, smelling dry ice and hearing some sort of loud electronic music...

--- Chewmeister69
- They come to a room filled with fog and tall mechanical pillars like trees! There's a desk with a spotty teenager behind it, but he's got no arms. He asks the party if they're here to challenge Chewmeister69 - a legendary hunter who got to top rank in a shooter and then was reborn from the Cruor into the real world.
- Attempts are made to appeal to Chewmeister's humanity and/or greed, but to no avail.
- Nobody wants to fight this pro gamer so they abandon the attempt and decide to go hunt some aliens.
- Given that the stepping stones seem sketchy, Jojo instead punches a wall open with a Passwall Punch and the party go through!

--- Bottles and Teeth
- The room beyond is full of bottles, some containing paint. Somebody has painted a big mural of a skull encrusted with gems and many figures praising it. That somebody is still there, but very dead.
- Jojo, to quote, "blacks up" with some vantablack paint. Celebus grabs some more paint of various colours.
- Dorian extendo-arms the body over, and they see that the painter clawed away at their face to paint directly on their skull. Very grim.
- The next area is full of teeth! Like a zen garden raked into spiral patterns, and an altar in the very centre of the space...
- Celebus sends a skeleton to grab the thing on the altar, and brings back a cloak of teeth! Weird.
- Sydney puts it on and all his teeth become molars. He feels that if he eats a tooth, he can gain some short term protection for the price of some tooth decay.

--- Chainsaw Cuddles
- They move on, and see a corridor speckled with autumn leaves and another with the humid air of a jungle. They choose jungle!
- There are real trees here, and lots of thick ground cover.
- Grumblebelch climbs a tree and sees something through the mist... a living one of those chainsaw-limbed monsters!
- He swings towards it from a vine, flailing frantically, and it nearly swipes him with its chainsaw arm! He swings back, tossing his own zombie chainsaw limb at it! It misses the monster, but the living chainsaw does manage to cut down a tree!
- Sydney considers Agent Orange'ing the jungle with Blight, but once again decides against it. Grumblebelch, up the tree again, acts as a spotter for Celebus who fires his crossbow in the general direction of the monster!
- Jojo slips into the shadows and sneaks towards it... and nearly runs into a second monster! It's quietly climbing the tree towards Grumblebelch, waiting to pounce...
- Celebus nearly gets killed by a piston-based alien-style inner mouth while the others rush to defend him! He drags himself back behind his rearguard of zombies.
- Sydney gets the kill on one of them, draining its soul into his atrametal blade and making it crumble to charcoal. Cool!
- The other monster, who is currently on fire and poisoned due to a bunch of flaming swords and a jagermeister-based poison concoction, flees for its life.

--- PC Borbly Worbly
- A post-battle scrounge reveals some bananas, 3000 obols-worth of gems, an effigy of Space Jesus who looks concerningly similar to Galaxy Johnson, and a glowing blue gem that flashes red from within.
- Grumblebelch grabs the glowing gem... and a voice echoes in his mind! It's a space cop who was hunting down Galaxy Johnson, but was defeated and now he's here!
- Grumblebelch puts the soul gem on his head where it fuses to his skull, creating a classic police flasher. They're buddy cops now! Two pigs together at last!
- Everyone's in pretty bad shape, so they rest up in a dead end. They use their chainsaws to create a tree barricade and stay very quiet...
- A huge skull encrusted with gems floats by, but other than that they're ok!
- Celebus cooks "Celebus' Nut Surprise Delight Flambe", containing nuts and berries and banana and salted butter. It's good!
- Dorian puts the leftovers in Tupper's Ware for later.

--- Stained Glass
- They head out after a long sleep, going through the now much less jungley jungle and into the next area, which is a cathedral??? With stained glass windows??? - Sydney rightly points out that it's weird that light is coming in through the windows, seeing as they're inside Fortress-City Fate and all.
- It transpires that the light from the windows stains whatever it touches. PC Borbly Worbly gets a colourful makeover! - Celebus wants to see what's behind the windows, so shatters a pane with a crossbow bolt. Behind, it's space! The air starts rushing out of the room! - They run, but first offer the copper a free ride back into space. He replies that he's going to help them for this one last job... - They choose between the sound of kids playing and a smell like death. Death it is!
- It's a whole ceiling of bodies hanging from nooses, absolutely writhing with rot grubs. The bodies start to lower! - Everybody sprints through, which is the right thing to do because behind them the bodies hit the ground and burst open! Rot grubs everywhere! Yea fuck that, say the party, and keep going. --- Wizard Despair
- They come to a large space with a ziggurat on one side! There's a wizard up there, seemingly half-tentacle! He cackles and begins to cast a spell, while the buglike monsters on either side of him open their pearlescent wings!
- Grumblebelch nuts him with a cursed gold bar.
- The wizard rubs his head, having been cursed into a bout of magical depression. Fellgorp the Worshipper is his name, and you might as well have his spellbook because fuck it.
- The party leave in the direction of Shub-Wizardwrath, leaving Fellgorp to be comforted by his insectoid friends...

Total: 8000 exp

Treasures Liberated:
- A bag of gems (3000 exp) - Tooth Robe
- Bananas, berries, and nuts (20 exp)
- Various paints - Space Jesus effigy (5000 exp) - The Soul Gem of PC Borbly Worbly
Total: 8020 exp

Foes Overcome:
- 2 chainsaw monsters (3000 exp)
- A wizard (1000 exp)
Total: 4000 exp

Carter the Chronicler (100 exp)
George the Expedition leader (100 exp)
Charles the Chef & Cartographer (200 exp)
Ollie the Quartermaster (100 exp)
Tom the Vanguard (100 exp)

Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 125493 (Level up at 128000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 7 Inheritor: 103227 (Level up at 144000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 7 Necromancer: 83471 (Level up at 144000)
- Carter / Sydney, Level 6 Magic-User: 47015 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23759 (Level up at 36000)
- Tom / Grumblebelch, Level 5 Dwarf: 17610 (Level up at 32000)
Level up! +1d10 HP! +Lorebond! +Backstory!

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