Tuesday 28 February 2023

Session 337 - A Cat is a Little Dragon

Date: 21 February, 22 p.p.

Moon: Crescent - Dragonwane
Zenith: The Allfather


Events:

--- Sailing the AT-RA-MEN-TAL-CRUOOOOORRRR
- We join the party at the edge of a pitch-black sea, deep in the mechanical brass bowels of Fortress-City Fate, on the lowest level of the dungeon. The edge of the lake is littered with coffins, and the group is fixing some of them together into a makeshift boat.
- Sydney looks out into the darkness, lit by the dripping rain of glowing red from above. The red liquid is juice of the cracked imp-pods somewhere above. Out there are a few islands, big chunks of broken machinery thrust up from under the slick blackness. On one there are bones around a golden glow, on another the hint of smoke and huge wings, and the last is the end of a cylindrical up-thrust piston. Somewhere there is the sound of metal on metal, like a blacksmith.
- Dorian catches a drop of red fluid on his tongue and tastes a memory! His Inheritor body of living demon clay has more in common with the black cruor than the others. He dips a finger into the cruor and it comes back pitch black... and his finger starts moving on its own...
- Swan's background in shipbuilding helps a bit, and soon they're off on their coffin-ship across the dark liquid. They row past the bone island, seeing that the golden glow is coming from a tomb in the centre of the island. The bones twitch and shiver in a non-existent wind, and when Dorian tries to streeetch his stretchable arm across the bones begin to reanimate!
- Maybe not then. Instead they aim for the big piston pillar. There are handholds leading upwards. Maybe later. For now, there's an opposite shore to investigate!

--- Dragons, Real
- On the broken metal of the shore they find some crushed coffins and small red scales rubbed up against the walls. Dorian investigates, skin shimmering translucent, and sees a puff of flame then another! It's not one but two red dragons! These are real dragons too, not the rune-dragons faced on previous occasions, and they seem rather under fed.
- The dragons think they hear something, so investigate the noise. Dorian shimmies around past them towards their pile of treasure, classic style. There's 1800 obolsworth of gems amongst the coins, so Dorian grabs those first! They can always come back for the rest...
- On the metal shoreline, Swan and Sydney are suddenly face to face with the dragons! The dragons are dead hungry, so it looks like this is the end of the line for these brave heroes...
- But do not fear! Sydney's backstory of unwarranted romantic advances activates, and the female dragon suddenly finds him rather fascinating, to the chagrin of the male dragon. They aren't a breeding pair or anything but, you know, they'd been spending so much time together you know, maybe there was something there? You know?
- They have a little argument and we discover that they're actually stuck down here. Like many of the other creatures on the lowest levels, they were in one of Fate's simulations until they suddenly found themselves born back into the real world. Glitch? Disaster? Who knows?
- Sydney offers a solution - since the dragons are too big to leave this chamber, wouldn't it be better if they were a bit smaller? He's got this Cat Ring that turns the wearer into a cat, you see, and the Metameat Necklace will allow one of the dragons to shlorp into it like a pokeball.
- The dragons agree, seeing as how leaving this place is probably better than a meagre meal of tiny people.
- The party have a quick root around in the treasure, finding such magical stuff as a shit book by Ayn Rand which bores people to sleep, Tupper's Ware which keeps food fresh, and a magnet bomb!
- As they're leaving, Cat-Dragon on Sydney's shoulder and Necklace-Dragon around Swan's neck, Swan himself gets hit by some of the swirling magic that's latent in this area! He's hit by Grotesque Healing which will heal at the cost of Charisma... so he carefully does not get hurt for the next little while.
- They pass by a crack or window that looks out over the black lake. Dorian extendo-arms his finger towards the pillar, which is just about within his extendo-reach. There's a pool of greyish liquid at the top, and he dips his blackened possessed finger in there. It comes back wet and tries to flick the liquid into people's mouths. Hmm.

--- Ring-A-Dong-Dillo
- They pass by a chamber containing... a tree! It's growing up through the battered machinery of the ground as if flung up from below, and it looks like it has a face...
- Swan slings a rock at it, and it makes an "oof" face but pretends it didn't. On its branches are acorns, some black some gold.
- We digress into the Bombadil Zone for quite some time.
- Dorian extendo-reaches towards an acorn and plucks it... which the tree does not like at all! It slashes at Dorian, growing rapidly to create a new smaller tree near his feet, which in turn grows more slashing branches!
- Swan and Dorian unsheathe their flaming swords and attack! The tree, despite its enormous attack bonus, keeps missing! It roars when the fire sears its branches, and Sydney suddenly realises that he speaks Tree!
- It doesn't go well at first, but after a big crit from Dorian the tree yields and begs for mercy. It reveals that the black acorns are infected with Cruor, and so will kill when eaten. The gold acorns grow more of his kind, little children.
- Swan is intrigued. Between the dragons and the enchanted forest of living trees and Grumblebelch the Pig-Dwarf, maybe the Wheatlands project can in fact turn this fucked up planet into a generic fantasy world!
- There are also a bunch of dead squirrels that either got killed or died from eating black acorns. The party scoop them into a bag, plus a bag of gold acorns and another bag of black acorns.

--- Troll Bridge
- They continue on, coming to a bridge. There is hushed talk from under the bridge, and a sneaky investigation reveals a little gang of Unravelled dudes living under there.
- Dorian sneaks across the bridge, but there's a weird K-THNK as he crosses the middle. Looks like it's a trapped bridge, and he's lucky he didn't set it off! The trolls heard that though, so come up to investigate.
- Seeing nothing, they decide to play some dice on the bridge. Sydney sends out his slime familiar to steal the dice and hide under the bridge... and it works!
- One of the trolls chases the slime, while the others look around to see if there are any other culprits! Swan starts intoning from the Boring Book while the trolls act aggressive! It's too late for them though, since Dorian has extendo-armed his hand to the lever that arms the bridge. It swings open on its hinges, sending the trolls into the Cruor below... alas.
- The others rope across the river as the Unravelled crawl back out of the cruor and onto land. It looks like they've gained new personalities, to the dismay of the one Unravelled who didn't fall in. He'll have to teach them dice all over again!
- Sydney attempts to trade with the new souls, but they don't really know what they have to trade and they certainly don't want ride tickets from the christmas special. The party moves on.

--- The Auto-Blacksmith
- They come to a big circular area which overlooks the Cruor. There's a big steam hammer thing which is banging away at an anvil. An array of metals are arranged on shelves on the walls, and below them they can see one of the islands - the misty one. From here they can see wyverns, and wyvern eggs!
- They test the anvil and discover that it basically swaps the metal in whatever you put in there. Steel swords to brass, silver bullets to iron, whatever to whatever really. There's also what is soon dubbed Atrametal - a black metal imbued with Cruor that drains the victim's Charisma until the Atrametal has absorbed their whole personality.
- Sydney binds his self-writing memoir in Atrametal and swaps over some of the bullets for his gun for various cold iron, silver and atrametal options. The flame spear is similarly enhanced!

--- Egg Heist!
- They could just leave but... wyvern eggs would also be great for the Wheatlands Generification Project.
- The following occurs:


- 1. Spiderclimb cast on Swan.
- 2. Swan climbs across the ceiling.
- 3. Dorian dangles down, invisible, to the island
- 4. Attach advanced Sydney's-blob-familiar-on-hand technology to Dorian.
- 5. Egg
- 6. Escape!
- 7. If attacked, stink bomb! If not, nice one!



- Dorian absolutely burns Meat Points on his invisibility, attempting to grab every last egg. When all seems lost, he chugs a few vials of Darga blood and refreshes his MP, allowing him to grab all but one egg...
- The last egg is too tempting. Luckily Sydney's got his Supreme Thief spell ready and casts it through the familiar, replacing the last egg with a perfect illusory copy!
- By the time the wyverns realise the theft, the heist crew is gone! Dorian dragged up to the ceiling by Swan's brawny arms! Wyvern eggs acquired!

Total: 7000 exp


Valuables Liberated:
- 10 wyvern eggs (5000 exp)
- Dragon scales
- Dragonscalified Armour
- Various metallurgic transformations to weaponry
- Gold and Silver Bars (25000 exp)
- 10 Squirrel Meat (10 exp)
- Bag of Black Acorns (Save or 1d10 Trauma)
- Bag of Golden Acorns (Grow into sentient acorn trees)
- 1800 obols in loose gems (1800 exp)
- Magnet Bomb (Pulls all metal into blast zone 30')
- Tupper's Ware (Keeps 5 rations fresh forever)
- Codex of Utter Tedium (Puts you to sleep after Wisdom rounds of reading or listening)
Total: 31810 exp


Foes Defeated:
- An angry tree, forced into surrender (1250 exp)
- 6 Unravelled, dunked in cruor (600 exp)
Total: 1850 exp


OOC:
- Chronicler, Cartographer & Paymaster: Carter (300 exp)
- Expedition Leader & Chef: Kitty (200 exp)
- Vanguard & Triage: George (200 exp)


Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 7 Barbarian: 122156 (Level up at 128000)
- Kitty / Dorian "Ditto" DeMone, Level 7 Inheritor: 99890 (Level up at 144000)
- Carter / Sydney, Level 6 Magic-User: 43678 (Level up at 72000)
Level Up! +1d4 HP! +2 to Saves! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! +Backstory!





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