Wednesday 10 July 2024

Session 379 - Vespjulian the Ninth God

Date: 2 July

Moon: Waxing Crescent
Zenith: Alaunus

New Characters:
- Janus, a Cleric who worships the ancient arts of POWERLAD rather than the man-become-dragon-become-god Himself. Was once a management consultant of niche renown.

Events:

--- A Surfeit of Frogs
- We begin at the cliffhanger! It is the fourth floor of Dwimmermount where all the stuff from the Foundry gets teleported to. Glass boxes built into the walls contain strange plants and creatures. Lights flicker.
- Sydney is midair in the middle of the room, grabbed by a sticky hand-tipped tongue, flying towards a froggy doom. Sydney is looking back across the room at the opposite barricade behind which swole unicorn-men look in shock.
- Sydney lands in the jaws of a huge toad and the foam-flecked teeth BITE. Stun poison! He screams but does not struggle.
- Aximander leaps into action, bounding over the unicorn barricade, begins summoning a beam of fire  and.. forgets to say the activation phrase that disables the teleport maze. He vanishes!

--- Unicornucopia
- The Swolicorns are not so foolish. They yell "Ave Vespusian!" as they leap over the barricade, run across the room, and leap across the enemy frog barricade into battle!
- The frogman attacking Sydney is slain instantly by a brutal unicorn horn to the heart! Sydney drops and considers how much pain poison is running through his veins. One move and he could pass out instantly.
- The frogmen retreat, croaking their dismay. The Swolicorns roar in victory!
- Razylymvaer in Sydney's head says "oh ho ho, you're weak aren't you? Just relax, we've got this". Sydney's slime familiar opens up into a smile...

--- Bifurcation 
- Aximander is alone. Truly alone. There's not even the hint of Julian inside him. What has happened?
- Floating next to him, an orb of light. It's... Julian?
- They talk for a while. Julian is fine with Aximander being the body's owner, he just wants a body himself.
- Aximander puts the floating orb onto his flaming sword where it turns into a huge uncut ruby. They're a team for now.
- An extradimensional door opens next to Aximander - inside is Elf Sydney! In fact, many Elf Sydneys! It's the Safe Space of the Sydnot. Aximander enters cautiously.

--- My Mental Roommate
- Meanwhile Sydney is well fucked up. The unicorn-men convey him safely back to to Vespusian and lay him on the altar that Vespusian once rested on (it's the only place to lie down).
- Sydney is offered the blessing of the purple rags. They try to speak... but their mouth moves on its own! They - he - Razylymvaer, speaks through Sydney's mouth! "Grant me the blessing, mummy-man!".
- Sydney passes out, but his body yet moves. Bandages dripping with eldritch purple gunk are wrapped around his damaged limbs.

--- The Sydnot
- Aximander meets the Sydnot, the council of Sydneys, and gets on well because they are all Elves. They collectively trash talk Sydney, a mere mortal. Gifflewim is there too because he loves an Elf party.
- They discuss the now ruby-form Julian. Gifflewim offers to trade for him, but Aximander has cold feet. There's got to be something weird with someone else owning your former self's soul, right?
- They agree that the Gods shutting off magic has got to be a bad thing, since they're all Elves and all. There are like a thousand Sydneys in here, so they agree to help collect the scattered God Parts.

--- Reunion!
- Aximander leaves the extradimensional council chamber at the head of a horde of Sydneys! He once again forgot to tell them about the teleport maze password, so they start teleporting all over the place!
- Luckily Aximander himself is warped back to the start point.
- He meets back up with Sydney, who is now wrapped in purple bandages. Next to him is a rather naked mummified Vespusian who insists the bandages will "grow back".
- Sydney also wants to be referred to with he/him pronouns now and keeps burping out fire. Aximander takes it in stride.

--- Launch! Launch!
- Without any effort from our heroes at all, the Sydneys have managed to collect all the God Parts! Unfortunately they may have triggered a new portal to the eternal depths of the ocean through which an incredible amount of frogspawn and frog-men have burst through.
- There is SO much water, but it's being weirdly messed with by the teleport maze, as though the ocean itself is a sentient thing which is getting teleported around!
- No time to lose! They hoof it to the elevator! Vespusian is coming with, he might be some sort of magical mummy but he certainly doesn't want to face the wrath of the sea!

--- Sacrificial Dragon
- They drag all the parts into the lift and - on no! - someone needs to be in the control room to activate it!
- Sydney growls out that he will volunteer! He is a dragon after all! Aximander finally "realises" that this isn't Sydney at all, but Razylymvaer in Sydney's body! Razylymvaer throws the slime familiar to Aximander, and sees that Sydney's soul has been transferred in there!
- Razylymvaer goes into the control room and salutes, slamming the button that closes the door. It's JUST in time! The ocean crashes against the elevator door... but it holds!
- Sadly approximately 10000 Sydney-Elves are immediately killed by the pressure and/or lack of oxygen as the sea smooshes them all into a big Sydney pancake.

--- All Hail the New God
- They shoot up the shaft to the top floor of Dwimmermount! The ocean slowly rising below as it starts to work its way through the plug of Elf bodies.
- Handily, the systems up here are all automated! Whirring waldoes emerge from the walls and take the God Parts away.
- Aximander follows, Julian in his sword and Slime Sydney on his back, all the way to the launch chamber!
- The Seraphim is complete! All that remains is to upload a mind...
- Sydney gloopily tries to cast Safe Space... but cannot! There's no access to the Old Miner! How are they going to manage this?
- Vespusian steps forward. He was a great technologian in the past, and he studied the Gods closely. He knows exactly how the upload works... but it needs more than one mind and he must be one of them to stabilise the doohickey.
- There aren't many minds going right now. Sydney demurs, he needs to be alive to get the Old Miner out in case something goes wrong. It won't accept Aximander, he's an Elf with no soul to copy.
- The only option is Julian. He wanted a body right? How's being a god sound?
- Cold water pools around their feet. The ocean is here! There's no time!
- They plug Julian and Vespusian into the machine. They scream as their minds are uploaded and... BANG! Vespusian explodes like a sack of old jerky! Julian shatters into a million pieces! Did it work??
- Lights turn on in the Seraphim. A robotic voice says "all systems nominal... launch procedure beginning". A weird cackling mixture of Vespusian and Julian cries out - "I AM COMPLETE!"
- Aximander runs as the launch procedure counts down, flames burning, and the top of Dwimmermount opens to allow the launch of this new God!
- Aximander sloshes in the knee-high water, Slime-Sydney on his shoulder, and realises that they've still got to work out a way to get out of here. The ocean is coming... and it's angry!

Total: 10000 exp


Treasures:
- 19 God Parts (19000 exp)
- A new God
Total: 19000 exp


Enemies:
- Several frogmen (400 exp)
- Limitless Sydneys (100000000 exp)
Total: 100000400 exp


Exp Totals:


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