Another suicide attempt foiled by good rolls! Will Barrett ever get the solace he so clearly subconsciously desires?!
A trip to Kink is disrupted by a detour resulting from Barrett's insistence that driving through the snow at night without so much as a lantern to see by is a great idea.
Welcome back to Henry who is here for the next few weeks! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when his particular brand of fire and brimstone meets Snels' similar outlook.
It's Tuesday. The recap needs to go out. On with the show!
Maps:
Session 232 - Leap of Fail
Date:
15 years after the End.
15 years after the End.
December-January
New Characters:
- The Witchfound Captain, apparently related to the Witchfinder Captain from many years ago with a penchant for whittling bones that maybe come to life. A little undead.
- The Witchfound Captain, apparently related to the Witchfinder Captain from many years ago with a penchant for whittling bones that maybe come to life. A little undead.
Character Backstories:
- Witchfound Captain: He tried to save some people from the impending doom of the apocalypse, but they tragically disregarded his advice. When someone disregards your advice, gain a reroll against the fallout.
Characters:
Salvage:
- A large pile of clean grain (3300 exp)
Total: 3300 exp
- A large pile of clean grain (3300 exp)
Total: 3300 exp
Events:
--- Barrett’s Awakening
- In the spider temple, surrounded by oddly feminine humanoid spiders, Barrett wakes up on a bed of webs. He remembers the time he should have died, vapourised by the Omnipoison, and his miraculous survival. He’s still got his stuff with him, thankfully.
- In the centre of the cavernous space, suspended in the middle of the spider temple’s webs, is a huge and grotesque spider. It’s the size of a small car and its long legs are fleshy and hairy like a man’s. It’s the spider fusion of Sir Robyn and even has his facial hair.
- In the spider temple, surrounded by oddly feminine humanoid spiders, Barrett wakes up on a bed of webs. He remembers the time he should have died, vapourised by the Omnipoison, and his miraculous survival. He’s still got his stuff with him, thankfully.
- In the centre of the cavernous space, suspended in the middle of the spider temple’s webs, is a huge and grotesque spider. It’s the size of a small car and its long legs are fleshy and hairy like a man’s. It’s the spider fusion of Sir Robyn and even has his facial hair.
- Barrett spots his depressed and pathetic original body in another web-bed. He grabs them, slings them over his shoulder, and heads to the exit. He flicks a coin to the spider-babes as he does so, not noticing as they flicker and shimmer back into ordinary spider-priests.
- Barrett is free!
--- Resurrection
- The rest of the party have returned to New Moondin after the events of the previous session. Piles of bones from the destroyed bone giant are already being carted back to the Necromancer Cabal for their use.
- Andromeda swings by Julgoor’s place on the way in, hoping to ask his advice on resurrecting Pearl after she killed her. He’s pleased to see her, but confused by the strong sinless emotion coming off her. It’s grief, of course. Grief is no sin.
- She asks about the River Lethe, the pre-apocalypse means of demon resurrection, and Julgoor informs her that the river is dry. No more resurrections! However, he may have a way…
- Since demon bodies are made of Lethe mud, and demons can grow as they feed, he may be able to sacrifice some of his own essence and combine it with Andromeda’s strong emotions to create a new body for her. It’ll take time, and sacrifice, but it will work.
- The rest of the party have returned to New Moondin after the events of the previous session. Piles of bones from the destroyed bone giant are already being carted back to the Necromancer Cabal for their use.
- Andromeda swings by Julgoor’s place on the way in, hoping to ask his advice on resurrecting Pearl after she killed her. He’s pleased to see her, but confused by the strong sinless emotion coming off her. It’s grief, of course. Grief is no sin.
- She asks about the River Lethe, the pre-apocalypse means of demon resurrection, and Julgoor informs her that the river is dry. No more resurrections! However, he may have a way…
- Since demon bodies are made of Lethe mud, and demons can grow as they feed, he may be able to sacrifice some of his own essence and combine it with Andromeda’s strong emotions to create a new body for her. It’ll take time, and sacrifice, but it will work.
- Barrett tries to enter during the discussion, and with a single flick of Julgoor’s demonic finger is thrown out of the door. He’s miffed.
- Andromeda agrees to Julgoor’s terms, and they spend the next couple of days in the midst of strange ritual in an attempt to bring Pearl back to life.
- Once the ritual is complete, Pearl is back! She’s about the size of a two year old, which are apparently bigger than I thought. Her mask is way too big for her and her limbs are thick-jointed, but she’s back! Andromeda carries her around in a baby carrier on her chest. V cute. Julgoor himself is somewhat diminished.
- Andromeda agrees to Julgoor’s terms, and they spend the next couple of days in the midst of strange ritual in an attempt to bring Pearl back to life.
- Once the ritual is complete, Pearl is back! She’s about the size of a two year old, which are apparently bigger than I thought. Her mask is way too big for her and her limbs are thick-jointed, but she’s back! Andromeda carries her around in a baby carrier on her chest. V cute. Julgoor himself is somewhat diminished.
- Out of Pearl’s earshot, Julgoor tells Andromeda that her true name is Amarisu. Useful if you need to do demon rituals to her and suchlike.
--- Propaganda
- Grumpy, feeling the political winds changing, decides to spread some rumours to head off the Snelsmen’s ability to form a de facto government in New Moondin.
- He spreads it about that the Snelsmen are working with demons from Kink, and reminds people that the Preppers were devastated in the End War.
- Without Snels in attendance, the political power struggle is put on hold this week.
--- Barrett’s Truth
- Grumpy, feeling the political winds changing, decides to spread some rumours to head off the Snelsmen’s ability to form a de facto government in New Moondin.
- He spreads it about that the Snelsmen are working with demons from Kink, and reminds people that the Preppers were devastated in the End War.
- Without Snels in attendance, the political power struggle is put on hold this week.
--- Barrett’s Truth
- Believing himself to be a Lust Demon, Barrett goes to see Julgoor after the resurrection ritual is complete.
- After some strange misunderstandings, it turns out that Hot Barrett is actually being projected from, or otherwise tied to, a small demonic imp. That’s fun. Julgoor doesn’t know how Barrett could become a real boy, or if it's even possible at all. Downsides of being a Perfect Form - you can’t get high or benefit from religion.
- Barrett leaves, somewhat confused. He checks out the papers he grabbed from the barber shop basement and sees that they’re all stories of those who were trapped down there, including his own! There’s also a contingent of Sinners under the cleric Dutchie Roach, all of whom seem to be separately heroically roaming the wastes. Notably, Pearl’s story isn’t in there.
--- Other Admin
- DJ creates an ad campaign based on the titan attack, advertising his new surprisingly expensive ferfect chicken buckets. 1 in 20 contain actual chicken!
- Barrett philanthropically gives out thousands of obols to the people of New Moondin. They know him by name in this town now!
- We check in on business ventures and see Umbrella Corp grow slowly, DJ’s chicken business boom, and his mining business trundle on.
--- Other Admin
- DJ creates an ad campaign based on the titan attack, advertising his new surprisingly expensive ferfect chicken buckets. 1 in 20 contain actual chicken!
- Barrett philanthropically gives out thousands of obols to the people of New Moondin. They know him by name in this town now!
- We check in on business ventures and see Umbrella Corp grow slowly, DJ’s chicken business boom, and his mining business trundle on.
--- January Expedition Preparation: Happy New Year!
- Since there’s all that grain just sitting there in Kink, and there’s been all sorts of weird demon shenanigans going on since they left, the party decides to head out there in the new year. It’s now the year 15 post-poison.
- In the weeks leading up to it, they hear rumours of what’s out there. A guardpost on the way to Kink and some sort of angel beacon pique particular interest, as does talk of a pyramid exposed by a landslide.
- The Clerics prepare Holy Water for the trip, seeing as they’ll likely be facing that Lust Demon when they get there. Barrett uses his newfound immunity to drugs to easily win a drinking contest.
- Since there’s all that grain just sitting there in Kink, and there’s been all sorts of weird demon shenanigans going on since they left, the party decides to head out there in the new year. It’s now the year 15 post-poison.
- In the weeks leading up to it, they hear rumours of what’s out there. A guardpost on the way to Kink and some sort of angel beacon pique particular interest, as does talk of a pyramid exposed by a landslide.
- The Clerics prepare Holy Water for the trip, seeing as they’ll likely be facing that Lust Demon when they get there. Barrett uses his newfound immunity to drugs to easily win a drinking contest.
--- January Expedition Day 1: Night Ride
- The New Year rolls round and the team set out on the 2nd, giving themselves a bit of time to shake off New Year’s hangovers. The wagon rolls out into a slushing acidic rain, recent upgrades to the wagon keeping the weather off nicely.
- The snow covers the trails of last year, but the old winding road down to the King’s Road is still evident. Barrett leaps the bridge again - too easy - and the wagon rolls along towards the edge of the Shell.
- The pass out of the shell without incident, depressed original versions of Barrett and Zulu moping away on the floor of the wagon. They pass a trail of decay leading past the rotten corpse of a Stoneshell Crab and decide to leave well enough alone - Grumpy suspects a dragon.
- They also pass by some human bootprints! Some other group must be out in the winter snow! They pass by those too - hoping to get to Kink as soon as they can.
- Night falls swiftly in winter, but Barrett doesn’t care and keeps driving through the night without even a lantern to light the way. The rain gives way to a light snow, softening the rumble of the wheels over the old cobbles of the King’s Road.
--- A Sudden Stop
- The soft clip-clop of the skeleton horse’s hooves stops unexpectedly and the wagon lurches strangely. Barrett, surmising that the wagon is teetering on the edge of a cliff, leaps into action! He grabs his original, jumps onto the skeleton horse, and cuts the ropes that bind it to the wagon!
- He was right - the wagon was indeed teetering on the edge of a cliff. Unfortunately he got the wrong end of the stick - he drove onto the cliff-edge head-on. The skeleton horse was suspended over thin air. Now, with the bindings slashed, it’s no longer suspended…
- The pass out of the shell without incident, depressed original versions of Barrett and Zulu moping away on the floor of the wagon. They pass a trail of decay leading past the rotten corpse of a Stoneshell Crab and decide to leave well enough alone - Grumpy suspects a dragon.
- They also pass by some human bootprints! Some other group must be out in the winter snow! They pass by those too - hoping to get to Kink as soon as they can.
- Night falls swiftly in winter, but Barrett doesn’t care and keeps driving through the night without even a lantern to light the way. The rain gives way to a light snow, softening the rumble of the wheels over the old cobbles of the King’s Road.
--- A Sudden Stop
- The soft clip-clop of the skeleton horse’s hooves stops unexpectedly and the wagon lurches strangely. Barrett, surmising that the wagon is teetering on the edge of a cliff, leaps into action! He grabs his original, jumps onto the skeleton horse, and cuts the ropes that bind it to the wagon!
- He was right - the wagon was indeed teetering on the edge of a cliff. Unfortunately he got the wrong end of the stick - he drove onto the cliff-edge head-on. The skeleton horse was suspended over thin air. Now, with the bindings slashed, it’s no longer suspended…
- He falls along with his depressed original, down and down into a deep pit! For the others, all they felt was a jolt and a sudden scream from Barrett. What on earth is he up to out there? Andromeda lights a lantern and they go to investigate.
- In the lantern light they see a grappling hook fruitlessly whirring into the air above the pit. Zulu shoots it out of the air with her beam rifle, hoping to freeze it in the air, but succeeding only in severing the rope.
- In the lantern light they see a grappling hook fruitlessly whirring into the air above the pit. Zulu shoots it out of the air with her beam rifle, hoping to freeze it in the air, but succeeding only in severing the rope.
- There is a wet crunch from far below. Surprisingly they both survived! Must have been all the mud after the rain! Perfect Barrett’s nose is broken, however, and OG Barrett’s jaw has snapped. Worst of all, the skeleton horse is smashed!
- Andromeda and DJ climb down to assist them. Clerical miracle-healing soothes the pain and bleeding, but can’t fix the broken bones. They won’t be able to heal naturally until their bones are fixed.
- DJ casts Abduct to raise the pair out of the hole. In the cold light of the Abduct beam, they see that the pit is even deeper. The Barretts luckily landed partway down! Abduct brings them just short of the edge of the pit, but luckily the others are there with ropes to pull them up the last few feet.
--- Cook off!
- Seeing as driving at night is evidently a terrible idea, Grumpy has dragged the wagon back from the edge and set up a campsite against it. There are half-stone trees up here. Half made of stone, the other half vanished. Very strange, and not quite like the stone forest they’ve been in before.
- With Grumpy and Zulu in attendance, it’s time for a cook off! Grumpy goes for a “Pitted Omelette” in honour of the near miss, ironically creating a meal that gives a bonus to Piloting. Zulu, as ever, creates something rather more outré with antelope milk, calling it a “Leaping Log”. It grants a bonus to cooking, conveniently enough!
- They bed down for the long winter night, snow falling in soft flurries, blanketing the world in white.
- Andromeda and DJ climb down to assist them. Clerical miracle-healing soothes the pain and bleeding, but can’t fix the broken bones. They won’t be able to heal naturally until their bones are fixed.
- DJ casts Abduct to raise the pair out of the hole. In the cold light of the Abduct beam, they see that the pit is even deeper. The Barretts luckily landed partway down! Abduct brings them just short of the edge of the pit, but luckily the others are there with ropes to pull them up the last few feet.
--- Cook off!
- Seeing as driving at night is evidently a terrible idea, Grumpy has dragged the wagon back from the edge and set up a campsite against it. There are half-stone trees up here. Half made of stone, the other half vanished. Very strange, and not quite like the stone forest they’ve been in before.
- With Grumpy and Zulu in attendance, it’s time for a cook off! Grumpy goes for a “Pitted Omelette” in honour of the near miss, ironically creating a meal that gives a bonus to Piloting. Zulu, as ever, creates something rather more outré with antelope milk, calling it a “Leaping Log”. It grants a bonus to cooking, conveniently enough!
- They bed down for the long winter night, snow falling in soft flurries, blanketing the world in white.
--- January Expedition Day 2: To Kink again!
- In the morning they awaken to the soft rumbling of Thundersnow, and the sound of light hail tapping off the stone trees. They decamp before it gets any worse, hitch Zulu’s antelope to the wagon, and use the half-trees to judge the way back to the road.
- It takes half the day to get back to the road, by which time the hail has really got going and flashes of lightning can be seen flickering through the whiteness. At least it’s light, and occasional squalls blow the snow aside for long enough to see the road.
- Evening comes soon enough - there’s not much daylight in winter. The Thundersnow abates, giving way to a light hazy snowfall again, and letting them see that Kink isn’t so far away now! Only a couple of miles!
- Despite yesterday’s debacle, they light lanterns and Barrett guides the wagon into Kink. Thankfully they arrive without incident as the sun dips below the horizon, heading through the open gates and past the house where they first met Pearl.
- Andromeda tries giving the Void Pet to the mini-Pearl in the baby carrier, and it whirls into Pearl who screams about it hating her! Andromeda quickly takes it away, scolding the void pet. Is it jealous somehow?
- In the morning they awaken to the soft rumbling of Thundersnow, and the sound of light hail tapping off the stone trees. They decamp before it gets any worse, hitch Zulu’s antelope to the wagon, and use the half-trees to judge the way back to the road.
- It takes half the day to get back to the road, by which time the hail has really got going and flashes of lightning can be seen flickering through the whiteness. At least it’s light, and occasional squalls blow the snow aside for long enough to see the road.
- Evening comes soon enough - there’s not much daylight in winter. The Thundersnow abates, giving way to a light hazy snowfall again, and letting them see that Kink isn’t so far away now! Only a couple of miles!
- Despite yesterday’s debacle, they light lanterns and Barrett guides the wagon into Kink. Thankfully they arrive without incident as the sun dips below the horizon, heading through the open gates and past the house where they first met Pearl.
- Andromeda tries giving the Void Pet to the mini-Pearl in the baby carrier, and it whirls into Pearl who screams about it hating her! Andromeda quickly takes it away, scolding the void pet. Is it jealous somehow?
- Barrett spent a whole month in this town, so he knows it like the back of his perfect hand. In the lantern-lit darkness, they clatter through the empty streets to the barbershop. He finds the trapdoor and looks down into the room below - empty.
- A joint is passed round those who can actually get high and the room below is inspected with illusion-breaking sight and some raspy coughing. All that’s different is a note written in a scrawling hand that says, “I’ll come back for you, see you soon”. The second trapdoor opens up onto bare earth - it was a ruse.
- They leave, slightly disappointed by the lack of demons to slay, and ride through the darkness to the grain silo. It’s busted and grain is all over the muddy ground, the silo grate was left open and it all poured out! There is some small amount left in the silo though, and they feel safe enough to sort it.
--- January Expedition Day 3: Grain Sorting
- It’s long and boring work, but after a day of sorting through the last of the grain left in the silo they manage to salvage a last 3300 obols-worth. Not so bad!
- There’s another cook-off to finish off, using some of the good grain from the silo. Grumpy makes “Chicken’s Nest” which grants a bonus vs disease. Zulu uses her antelope’s scant milk again to make “Oatrageously Delicious”, granting a bonus to Awareness. The final scores have Zulu's meal as the most delicious! She wins! She rubs this fact in Grumpy's face, who somehow resists declaring a grudge.
- A joint is passed round those who can actually get high and the room below is inspected with illusion-breaking sight and some raspy coughing. All that’s different is a note written in a scrawling hand that says, “I’ll come back for you, see you soon”. The second trapdoor opens up onto bare earth - it was a ruse.
- They leave, slightly disappointed by the lack of demons to slay, and ride through the darkness to the grain silo. It’s busted and grain is all over the muddy ground, the silo grate was left open and it all poured out! There is some small amount left in the silo though, and they feel safe enough to sort it.
--- January Expedition Day 3: Grain Sorting
- It’s long and boring work, but after a day of sorting through the last of the grain left in the silo they manage to salvage a last 3300 obols-worth. Not so bad!
- There’s another cook-off to finish off, using some of the good grain from the silo. Grumpy makes “Chicken’s Nest” which grants a bonus vs disease. Zulu uses her antelope’s scant milk again to make “Oatrageously Delicious”, granting a bonus to Awareness. The final scores have Zulu's meal as the most delicious! She wins! She rubs this fact in Grumpy's face, who somehow resists declaring a grudge.
- Otherwise safe, and finding the town abandoned by the demons, they rest up in Kink with a wagonful of clean grain. It could be worse!
Total: 2500 exp
Total: 2500 exp
Team Bonus:
- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus
- Better Part of Valour bonus
- Classic Charles bonus
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus
- Long Deliberation bonus
- Masterchef bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- This! is! Sparta! bonus
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus
Total: 450 exp
- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus
- Better Part of Valour bonus
- Classic Charles bonus
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus
- Long Deliberation bonus
- Masterchef bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- This! is! Sparta! bonus
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus
Total: 450 exp
Individual Bonus:
- Chronicler (Carter / Grumpy - 100 exp)
- Expedition Leader (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Cartographer (Carter / Grumpy - 100 exp)
- Paymaster (Tom / Barrett - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Zulu - 100 exp)
- Vanguard (Tom / Barrett - 100 exp)
- Triage (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Chef (Henry / Witchfound Captain - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Henry, Charles, Ollie - 500 exp ea.)
- Hummus Hero bonus (Ollie*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Ollie, Tom - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Carter - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Barrett - 100 exp)
Exp Totals:
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 6 Laddite Cleric: 30393 (Level up at 56000)
- Tom / Adonis Barrett, Level 6 Specialist: 28091 (Level up at 48000)
- Charles / Dustin Johnson, Level 5 Intergalacticist Cleric: 25443 (Level up at 28000)
- Ollie / Zulu Snakebite, Level 5 Barbarian: 23474 (Level up at 32000)
- Carter / Granite "Grumpy" Ironjaw, Level 4 Grudgesmith Dwarf: 15750 (Level up at 17600)
- Henry / Witchfound Captain, Level 2 Necromancer: 3892 (Level up at 4500)
