Session 96 - Burn them all!

NOT LATE. JUST.
Short story - Bamuk levelled!

Important - I'm in Japan next week, so NO DND NEXT TUESDAY 05/06/16

See you next next week!



Session 96 - Burn them all!

Campaign Date:

Monday, 8 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:
- Walkul the Rogue, a sneaky thief poorly prepared for darkness

Enemies Defeated:
- Bright orange leech ooze (25 exp)

- 1 big cancerous goblin (50 exp)

- 15 void-eyed grey goblinoids (375 exp)

- 7 gold baby men (175 exp)

Total: 625 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Some shields
- Some daggers
- An elongated golden skull (6000 exp)
- 12 gold pieces (600 exp)

Total: 6600 exp

Exploration:
- 4 dungeon areas explored (80 exp)
- 2 wandering monsters encountered (100 exp)

Total: 180 exp

Events:
- Another day down in the depths, another day waking up to the foetid stench of rotting mushroom house. (50 exp)

- Walkul the Rogue bumbles through the darkness of the entrance without a light source, tripping over Eleyn where she slumps against a carriage wheel (50 exp)
- The kerfuffle brings the others running, Walkul joins the group and the naked and pink-fleshed Eleyn's clothes are returned. (50 exp)
- Supplies are restocked at the cart and the contingent descends once more, retracing their footsteps. (50 exp)
- A carved-out tunnel between major intestinal thoroughfares is found and investigated, black-eyed goblins flee when they see light and leave whatever they were poking behind. (50 exp)
- The thing they were poking, a vivid orange ooze, leech-walks quickly into the group and spreads orange oil liberally around itself as it attacks. (50 exp)
- It's killed fairly quickly, shrivelling into a hard ball of orange on Eleyn's rapier. It explodes soon after, lighting the oil and severely hurting Bamuk. (50 exp)
- Following in the direction of the fled grey goblins, the goblins can be seen meeting with a big grey cancer goblin and a bunch of gold baby men round the corner (50 exp)

- A plan is concocted and put into action! Eleyn will grab attention, then lure the rest into the teeth of the party. Bamuk and Jain set up rune traps. (50 exp)
- Tom buys me another beer, eyeballs d30. (50 exp)
- Eleyn sneaks up to the goblins, hears them warning the cancer goblin of how dangerous the party is. Takes out scattershot pistol. Aims. Pulls trigger. (50 exp)
- Tom rolls the d30 for damage. (50 exp)
- Half the room is vapourised. Goblin bits rain down on the shocked gold baby men at the back of the room. The front half of the cancer goblin falls to mush. (50 exp)
- They chase Eleyn out along the corridor... into the waiting arms of the rest of the party. A pincer move from a side corridor boxes them in, and the gold baby men quickly surrender. (50 exp)
- SURRENDER DENIED. Jumurak's amoebae move in for the absorption. (50 exp)
- Mivik, appalled, flees into the darkness (50 exp)
- The now-clear room is found to be lined with rusty halfing-sized weaponry and shields, some of which is looted. An urn made of goblin shit and filled with piss is found to contain gold coins and an elongated golden head. (50 exp)
- Safety first, the gold-carrying amoeba shlurps around the urn and digests it, pulling the contents into its body. Now it has a gold face inside! (50 exp)
- The party jubilantly explore the next section of stone intestine, coming across a room of chains hanging from the ceiling and pus-filled white boils. Attacking them causes a return spirt of sloppy, chunky, pus. (50 exp)
- Crossing the room causes the boils to begin sending sloppy seeking tendrils outwards, easily jumped over on the way back. (50 exp)
- Party retreats back to the mushroom house for another day. (50 exp)

Total: 1050 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- Treasure Eater bonus (50 exp)
- Vore bonus (50 exp)
- War Crime bonus (50 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Clo / Bamuk - 100 exp)
- Snackbringer bonus (Kyle / Jain - 500 exp [because I keep forgetting])
- Near Death Experience bonus (Bamuk - 100 exp)

Total: 650 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, arm ripped off at the shoulder by grey-skinned goblins with eyes of the void.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 30836 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 26014 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 15305 (Level up at 28000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 11490 (Level up at 12000)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 2 Dwarf: 3839 (Level up at 4400)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 3459 (Level up at 2250)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 Level 1 Spell/day! +1 free spell!
Will / Walkul the Rogue, Level 1 Specialist: 1301 (Level up at 1500)

Absent or Retired:
Kitty / Sophia, Level 2 Necromancer: 3986 (Level up at 4500)
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 2 Ratman: 3290 (Level up at 4000)Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 37308 (Level up at 64000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 95 - I Live I Die I Live Again

So! Some things of note.

I have concocted five different fantasy analogs for 16th century Christianity.
Hopefully this makes religion a Fun Game Thing rather than something that doesn't really have any impact.

All characters have to have one (you can choose or roll, up to you).

The main deal is that each denomination gets a unique Cleric spell. The spell affects people differently depending on which denomination they belong to.
So like, the fantasy-Protestant spell inspires fantasy-Protestants and does extra bad stuff to fantasy-Catholics.

You can find the document here if you're interested.

You may want to take into account what the group's Cleric picks when he gets round to picking.
I think it's a toss-up between Catholic and Weirdo at the moment, since he worships the para-dimensional god spirit of his dead predecesor. We'll work it out at the table.

Another thing!

A long-ago previous player who was in fact the first ever casualty of the England campaign has gotten back in touch.
If anyone's interested in a Warhammer 40k RPG (I know Dominic's said as much at least), he's looking at starting something up on Wednesdays or Thursdays.
Let me know if you want in and I'll kick you over his deets.

Finally! Behold another beautiful death-art from Tom... although at least this time it seems death is not the end.

Session 95 - I Live I Die I Live Again

Campaign Date:

Sunday, 7 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zodiac: Sagittarius

Enemies Defeated:
- 2 gold eaters, vanished after devouring gold (500 exp)
- A violet blob (50 exp)
- Six gold-vomiting baby-shaped men (150 exp)
- Seven void-eyed grey goblinoids (175 exp)

Total: 875 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Actually... none.

Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- 5 dungeon areas explored (100 exp)
- 4 sets of Wandering Monsters encountered (200 exp)

Total: 300 exp

Events:
- After resting up in relative security in the mushroom house, the party descends back into the lower dungeon level. (50 exp)
- They check out the next area - a pool filled with cave shrimp, a rock barricade covered with faeces-smeared rusty weapons. (50 exp)
- Voices are heard faintly from beyond barricade. Party gets in position then makes some noise. (50 exp)
- The first thing attracted unfortunately comes via the ceiling of the other exit - a violently purple slime which squirts mind-afflicting gunk. Jumurak begins hitting his own amoebae. (50 exp)
- Others turn to attack. Ceiling is an issue but Sophia ghost-blasts it off and Eleyn tears it to shreds with a well-aimed dual pistol attack (50 exp)
- Jumurak's pulled away via lasso and his amoebae finish the job, but the noise has attracted further danger. (50 exp)
- While there's a lull in the action, Sophia takes the opportunity to hook-pole a woman's body off the spiked barricade. On her finger - a silver ring engraved with the word "Aviva". (50 exp)
- From the same direction as the slime, a bunch of small golden men with deep voices approach. They attack with sharp golden spikes on their hands and vomit gold. (50 exp)
- Eleyn lines up a shot with her sniper musket, exhales slowly, squeezes the trigger... and is thrown backwards as the whole thing explodes. A vial of Nora's ashes, used as a wind indicator, shatters. Eleyn is distraught. (50 exp)
 - Turns out amoebae are actually really effective, along with . Little men are dying left and right. Zan pockets some of their golden vomit. (50 exp)
- Suddenly a gold woman with rope-burns and a nude gold men skydive from the ceiling, ripping with jagged gold claws as they do so, before vanishing into the ground like divers. (50 exp)

- People DIVEST GOLD. Zan chucks his into the water and sees the gold woman bob up to the underwater surface and eat it like a fish eating fishfood. (50 exp)

- Others chuck their gold into an amoeba. Jain claps to lay down a glyph of Transform-Magma on the floor and tosses on a gold coin. And waits... (50 exp)

- The gold lady swims up to eat the coin and the glyph is activated, turning the floor to magma around her. She screams and flails and dives and does not return. (50 exp)
- While the others lick collective wounds, Eleyn climbs the spiky barricade, cutting herself a few times, then sneaks out into the darkness beyond to find the source of voices. (50 exp)
- Following sounds rather than sight, she turns a corner to see some grey goblins near a fire chatting and shitting on sharp objects and building up a barricade facing the other direction (50 exp)
- She scouts in another direction, coming face to face with a little gold man. He is not pleased so she shoots him in the face - the flash of light revealing many more. (50 exp)
- They chase her out, where she comes face to face with the grey goblins who are investigating the ruckus. One of them opens their eyes wide and reveals the immensity of the void... but Eleyn rolls crits the save and somehow reflects it back (50 exp)
- The chase is on! ... Briefly. Eleyn slows to take potshots, killing several. She is soon overtaken and killed when a goblin rips off her whole fucking arm, spraying blood everywhere. (50 exp)
- The others don't arrive anywhere near in time... but they do take the opportunity to slay the goblins, loot Eleyn, and feed her corpse to the amoebae. (50 exp)
- Somewhere else, a naked woman falls out of a fleshy mass. She stumbles out of the pink light, trailing a hand along the water-slick walls and softly glowing coral, until she falls out next to a cart. (50 exp)
- The others, now well and truly Done With This Shit, retreat to the first floor and the mushroom hole. (50 exp)
- Heading back to the cart to pick up some more rations... they find a nude and pink-fleshed Eleyn lying there. With two new spindly arms growing out of her back. (50 exp) 

Total: 1150 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Boy That Escalated Quickly bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Chase bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)
- Vore bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Cartographer bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Lonely Death bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All others - 100 exp ea.)

Total: 550 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Eleyn, arm ripped off at the shoulder by grey-skinned goblins with eyes of the void.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 29035 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 24713 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 5 Cleric: 14004 (Level up at 28000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! -2 to Saves! +1 Level 3 Spell/day!
Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 10189 (Level up at 12000)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 2 Necromancer: 3986 (Level up at 4500)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 2 Dwarf: 2538 (Level up at 4400)
*DING!* +1d10 HP!

Absent or Retired:
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 2 Ratman: 3290 (Level up at 4000)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1958 (Level up at 2250)
Will / Will's Specialist, Level 1 Specialist: 0 (Level up at 1500)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60502 (Level up at 64000)-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 37308 (Level up at 64000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 94 - Guts and Goblins

An important thing -

Last session we got up to a mighty TEN PEOPLE which was sort of ok, but makes it hard for everyone to get a chance to do things.

And so I hereby instate a soft cap on numbers - we won't take any new players on board for a while. Congrats to those people who showed up in the last few weeks! You're in!
Splitting things into two teams helped I think, we'll do that next time if it happens again.

Also if you die in the game you can't play any more.

(Just kidding)

We were also talking about changing venue. We've got a big bench of regulars and we do take up a lot of space, so that would give someone else (god willing) a place to run a game of their own.
Aaaand probably cheaper food and drink.
Next week we'll be in the Mad Hatter as usual (and likely will be for a little while yet) but I'll supply more news as it happens.
Venue recommendations appreciated!

Session 94 - Guts and Goblins

Campaign Date:

Saturday, 6 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:- Bamuk, bulky female Muscle Wizard who used to live on an island and make bows.

Enemies Defeated:
- A golden women, wrestled into submission (100 exp)
- 3 huge fleas, stabbed to bits (150 exp)
- 1 big ol' spider, blasted (50 exp)
- 2 lumpy grey cancer goblins, killed or forced to flee (50 exp) 

Total: 350 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- A wax-sealed pouch that would be found to contain a bunch of gold and a lot of silver, were it opened (12879 exp)

Total: 12879 exp

Exploration:
- 5 dungeon areas explored (100 exp)
- First party to enter the second level of Kaldva Djinn, the Slaughtergrid (100 exp)
- 2 Wandering Monsters encountered (100 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Events:
- The party, somewhat bolstered by new arrivals from the self-closing entrance, are talking to the tall draugar guy. He lets them go as long as they can find something for him to torture. (50 exp)
- They back out and attempt another door via hook pole. Good thing too, since it had a meaty poison needle in it. (50 exp)
- Before they can really look inside, a voice saying "GOLD" faster and faster approaches from the rear. It's a golden skinned woman with a real big mouth., and I don't mean she's talkative. (50 exp)
- She eats a coin thrown at her feet, then attacks. Stabbington discovers his christmas ice sword is now tinsel and leads an attempt to wrestle her into submission. The group gets a rope around her. Hurrah! (50 exp)
- The woman is brought to the draugar guy who seems shit scared of her. She's chucked into the fire but disappears into the ground like it's not even there.
After some banter the draugar agrees to follow the party to find torture victims. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc gets a rat friend (the first of many) to scout out the nearby corridors. He says he likes one direction and doesn't reappear from the other. Easy choice. (50 exp)
- Stabbington, leading the party, comes across a pile of dead mushroom people and is leapt upon by a big fucking flea. He kills it easy. (50 exp)
- Rat LeBlanc climbs the pile to scout ahead and is beset by more giant fleas. He scrambles up the wall to escape them. (50 exp)
- The tight corridor and big pile of mushrooms make saving the poor ratman a bit difficult, but Jumurak ascends via MUSCLE and Stabbington gamely trudges forward through the shroom pile. (50 exp)
- Calen climbs rapidly and attempts a SUPER ULTIMATE JUMP ATTACK, fumbles badly, and nearly decapitates himself with his swords. Good ol' fumble table. (50 exp)
- The fleas are finished off, but not before LeBlanc's leg is significantly drained of blood. With a little healing he begins limping gamely onwards. (50 exp)
- Oh yea and Stabbington somehow manages to ACTUALLY SUCCESSFULLY FIRST AID SOMEONE. He stems Calen's bleeding. Like, actually. (50 exp)
- The party spread out in the next area. Calen, pole in hand, approaches the nearby metal door and begins turning the big submarine-style locking wheel. (50 exp)
- He sees the spider above him just in time to unsheathe his swords, but dies frothing from the mouth as it sinks its fangs deep into his face. (50 exp)
- The spider is finished off by Eleyn's dual pistols, damaged as it is from a previous encounter. The first time Eleyn's pistols have actually worked! (50 exp)

- In the excitement Charmington and that draugar guy have gone off somewhere. Nobody notices. (50 exp)
- The door opens to reveal a dusty room. Stairs spiral downwards, although muddy tracks are left in the dust coming up. (50 exp)
- Movement across the room! The party splits up. Cool fireteam names are abandoned in favour of Team Charizard and Team Blastoise. (50 exp)
- Team Charizard follows the movement, seeing whatever's in the dark scurrying backwards. They find it scared and pressed against another door, a badly dressed goblin called Mivik. (50 exp)
- Questioned under duress by Bamuk, he reveals he's come up here to escape his people and furnishes some dungeon info. The team keep him as a mascot, saying they'll protect him. (50 exp)- Somewhere else, a naked Halfling falls out of a fleshy mass. He goes insane almost immediately. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Team Blastoise have descended the stairs and climbed down handholds that lead into a big wrinkly cave. Eleyn vanishes into the shadows while Rat LeBlanc is assailed by arrows, taking heavy damage. Again. (50 exp)

- Team Charizard rush in two by two. The assailants, big cancerous looking grey goblins, can be seen hidden on top of a rubble barrier. (50 exp)
- Cranky Jim is nailed in the arm by an arrow, fracturing the bone. The bow of one goblin breaks to the other's amusement. (50 exp)
- Zan lands in the muck and spins slices of chocolate orange sideways directly into LeBlanc and Jim's mouths, making them feel much less hurt. This game, man. (50 exp)
- Bamuk hulks out with a huge jump over the rubble pile, punching Message into one of their faces and making a sick one-liner echo around its mind. (50 exp)
- Others try climbing the rubble with various success. Rat LeBlanc scurries up like a motherfucker and legitimately bites the throat out of the guy who shot him earlier. Holy shit. (50 exp)
- Sophia shoots ghosts at the other, he's blasted off the rubble and flees. Eleyn jumps from the top of the rubble pile to John Wu him before he gets round the corner, completely messing it up and tumbling down the rocks. (50 exp)
- With many in the party beaten up, and with no discernable way out, Zan leads everyone back towards the mushrooms stacked in the corridor above. (50 exp)
- In hollowing out a little camping space of debatable safety, a sealed pouch of coins is found. The party rest... for now (50 exp)Total: 1500 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)
- Doolittle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles / Zan, Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp ea.)
- Cartographer bonus (100 exp - Bamuk)
- Death's Witness bonus (All who saw Calen's death - 100 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Cranky Jim, Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp ea.)

Total: 650 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- None down here

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Calen, bitten in the face by a giant spider, died frothing from the mouth as the poison souped his innards.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 60302 (Level up at 64000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 28255 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23933 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 13224 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 8709 (Level up at 12000)
Will / Calen, Level 2 Halfling: 2414 (Level up at 4000)
*DERANGED*
Kitty / Sophia, Level 2 Necromancer: 3206 (Level up at 4500)
*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 1 spell/day! +1 free spell!
James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 2 Ratman: 3090 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +3 rat friends at a time!
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 1 Dwarf: 1758 (Level up at 2200)
Clo / Bamuk, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1758 (Level up at 2250)
Will / I forgot his name sorryyy, Level 2 Specialist: 1558 (Level up at 3000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!

Absent or Retired:
Stabbington Shanks' Retainer
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 37308 (Level up at 64000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 93 - Dr. Stabbington Strikes Again

Say whaaat, we've finally clocked over into 1550 in the game world.
Fittingly, the team was partying for four days straight at the time. Go team. Even though Dr Witsk fucking died due to Stabbington's drunken fuckup.

Also I LOST (shock!) my little grey book which i wrote my notes in, and thus lost how much exp people gained from carousing. I'm going to go ahead and bump everyone up to the maximum 400. Hope that's alright!

See yas tomoz

​

Session 93 - Dr. Stabbington Strikes Again

Campaign Date:

Thursday, 4 January, 1550
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:- Rat LeBlanc, first ever Ratman to grace this fair campaign. Rules writeup to come some day soon. Some words from my notebook - "Rat Friend. Call Rat. Rat Mapping. Tail Whip. Sub-Prime Requisites. Hate Magnet."

Enemies Defeated:
- 2 muggers who accosted Dr Witsk and indirectly led to his untimely death. (10 exp)
- A huge spider, scared off with guano-fire and sling bullets (50 exp)

Total: 60 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- Strange bulky lead jewellery (50 exp)
- 15gp, 6sp (756 exp)

Total: 806 exp

Exploration:
- Discovered one secret door (50 exp)
- Travelled about 30 miles (100 exp)
- First party to enter Kaldva Djinn, the Slaughtergrid (100 exp)

Total: 250 exp

Events:
- After inspecting the final maze, the mirrors at the ends of the corridors are broken and a potential exit found. Jumurak begins digging with a pickaxe while the rest of the party try to find how it opens. (50 exp)
- The sarcophagus is searched and a false bottom is found. Hurrah! Richrom's body is discovered covered in strange lead jewellery and holding a scroll telling you he gave his gold to the poor. The bastard. (50 exp)
- That also opened the exit door, nearly ruining Jumurak's pickaxe. Sweet outside air! (50 exp)
- Nora's body is burnt in a pyre and handfuls of copper coins thrown upon it in tribute. Alas, poor Nora. She was so young. (50 exp)
- A dodgy-looking Halfling cook turns up, using the fire to roast some food. Dr Witsk Van Held, a medical student on his gap yahhh, is with him also. (50 exp)
- The party treks off back to the road, guided by the new party members. They head off to the town of Clunge to interrogate Lulu's business owner and see how the gypsies are doing. (50 exp)
- Bernard Keeper is home with the hibernating honey bees. From the sounds of it he thought the map was genuine. The gypsies are off selling the honey from the wagon, which he considers their rightful place. (50 exp)
- Shopping begins in town, followed by a four-day carousing binge. Everyone has a good time but Dr Witsk gets extra messed up and is beset by opportunistic muggers one night (50 exp)
- In the darkness and chaos the muggers seize his crow-beaked plague doctor mask (no!) and what few possessions he possesses (double no!) after beating him senseless with socks filled with rocks. (50 exp)
- Drunk party members sprint in to accost the muggers. Eleyn dives off the roof for a textbook assassination, stabbing one guy through the crown of the head in such a way that he immediately locks up into rigor mortis. The other is despatched in short order. (50 exp)
- Stabbington, seeing Dr Witsk go down, runs over to her to heal him. He trips, falls, and kills. Stabbington's medical skills claim yet another life. (50 exp)
- Sombrely, the bodies are devoured by Jumurak's amoebas. (50 exp)
- Out of game, James rolls up a new character and groans at his ability scores. It is decided that he will be the first recipient of the Consolation Ratman Class for Improbably Crap Characters. He is named Rat LeBlanc to my delight. (50 exp)
- Jain's been sitting on a juicy bit of dungeon info for a while, deep in the mines of Mining, Anvil and Craft Inc her workers have uncovered a very odd dungeon entrance indeed (50 exp)
- Upon reaching the closest village to the mines, Little Reaching, Rat LeBlanc summons a local rat to tell him about the area. Jain talks to Dwarfish workdwarfs. Both say that no matter who goes in, nobody comes out (50 exp)
- The party head into the mines, following the workers, and find themselves face to face with a dungeon orifice which looks worryingly like a vulva. (50 exp)
- Entering the dungeon through the jagged corridor, the party find a pitch black space. Water drips from the ceiling into a pool full of odd white prawns. (50 exp)

- Further in, a huge pile of guano with bats hanging around on top. Zan racks his brains to remember whether guano is flammable. (50 exp)
- Finally, three metal doors. Dwarf corpse near left one. The centre one is opened and peeked into... a spindly grey leg is seen disappearing, corpses on the ground. Rat LeBlanc gets his rat friend to go inside where it is eaten. Alas. (50 exp)
- Calen the Halfling is terrified of spiders and runs away. Zan chucks a flask of guano in and... it explodes wetly! Bat guano is now canonically flammable. It reveals a big ol' grey spider. (50 exp)
- Battle is joined by most. Eleyn whips out her new wheellock pistols and... a misfire. Fuck. The spider runs off under the onslaught. (50 exp)
- Calen ducks in to search the bodies, finding 15 gold jammed into some big yellow onions. He keeps them. (50 exp)
- Beyond there is a fire and a big undead guy torturing a little golden man on it. Sophia identifies him as a draugr. He seems like an alright guy, although he requests that he be given someone to torture to death. (50 exp)

Total: 1150 exp

Misc:
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Doolittle bonus (50 exp)

- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)
- Medical Malpractice bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Tom / Eleyn - 100 exp)
- Died in First Session bonus (James / Rat LeBlanc - 100 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (James / Rat LeBlanc - 500 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (Witnesses - 100 exp ea.)

- Everyone Caroused (Carousers- 400 exp ea... even Rat LeBlanc I'm feeling generous)

Total:  550 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
- I was thinking about moving my family and I back to the continent, we've got family in the Low Countries, but they're staunchly Protestant and don't accept the Holy Ennead.

- There's a great big fucking eagle up there, man. I totally saw it! Yesterday at dawn man, and stop looking so fucking sceptical.

- Moondin to the south has fallen to the Necromancers. Turns out the Undead are the perfect anti-mould shock troops.

- I come here from Moondine, had to get out, no moldybeasts that far south, no, something worse. Creepin vines and fire and mud. I fucked off afore it got me too.

- On the road to Foston there's an abandoned inn. The proprieter was mad and hid all his treasure there, my own mother worked there while they were digging out the complex beneath.

- There's the remains of an old goblin war machine out in the wastes, Rangers say the muck's been stirred so much lately that there's an entrance inside.

- There are knights of the Unorthodox Church spreading through the mountains, trying to convert pure Nonanists.

- The Witch Pirate of Guernsey raids the channel, even if the Emperor wanted to help us I doubt that he could.

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Dr. Witsk von Held, ribcage crushed in by Stabbington as a result of a botched attempt at First Aid.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 58644 (Level up at 64000)
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4821 (Level up at 6000)Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 26597 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 22275 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 11466 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 6951 (Level up at 12000)
Will / Calen, Level 2 Halfling: 2414 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Mind Control!
Kitty / Sophia, Level 1 Necromancer: 1548 (Level up at 2250)
James / Dr Witsk Von Held, Level 1 Specialist: 0 (Level up at 1500)
*DECEASED*James / Rat LeBlanc, Level 1 Ratman: 1332 (Level up at 2000)

Absent or Retired:
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 1 Dwarf: 0 (Level up at 2200)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 37308 (Level up at 64000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 92 - I Only Die Organ-ic

Well that was fun... for me. I'm glad I get to reset my internal "Sessions since last death" counter, how will I keep my DM rep otherwise?! Charles' CHEESY SUMMARY MAN Recap: Following last session's STICKY SITUATION with Mobi's slime mould cousins, another electrifying episode this week sees our heroes CHASING THE LIGHTNING in hopes for treasure! Dreams are crushed however when the loot is actually just some RAINY DAY PENNIES. After trying out their musical skills, the session comes to a close with AN EXPLOSIVE ENDING. Will our brave heroes ever escape with their treasure box penny jar? And will they ever get all the bits of dead explorer brain out of their hair? STAY TUNED for next episode of "I'm stuck in a dungeon and I can't get out"!

Session 92 - I Only Die Organ-ic

Campaign Date:

Friday, 27 December, 1549
Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:- Dr Witsk Von Held, Specialist, partially generated and so background as yet unknown.
- Cranky Jim, Dwarf, partially generated and so background as yet unknown.

Enemies Defeated:
- A smallish giant spider (25 exp)

Total: 25 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 2sp, 10012cp (1004 exp)
- 3 gilded tapestry rods (1500 exp)

Total: 2504 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the second level of the Grinding Gear dungeon (200 exp)
- Explored 20 dungeon rooms (400 exp)
- 6 secret doors discovered (300 exp)

Total: 900 exp

Events:
- Between sessions, the party manages to meet up near where the gelatinous cube was AND somehow lose notable damage-sponges Stabbington and Jain. Trepidation is felt. (50 exp)
- Descending some steps, the party finds a door telling them the true test of their skills has just begun. Lovely. (50 exp)
- Spiral stairs are within, and lo! The room below seems to match Lulu's map! (50 exp)
- Following the map, a secret door is discovered. A magical trap specified on Lulu's map is inspected by way of a blindfolded scout and Guido, who gives a rundown of the wall murals. (50 exp)
- Ignoring the trap room, the party continues into what the map calls a false tomb. Indeed, Lulu's death sight mask shows a different person to the guy's statue outside. (50 exp)
- In an annex off the room, a plundered secret treasure room! Some bits of broken box are taken, as are a few coins accidentally left by whoever the looters were. (50 exp)

- The map says secret doors to the north. True! Albeit they're already solved. Lulu manages to luck her way through the answers using the murals of Richrom's life and some clever guesswork, albeit getting zapped by lightning for each wrong answer (50 exp)
- At the end of the corridor, a tomb where the REAL corpse has been looted already. Or so it seems... Lulu's death mask shows her it's also not the real guy. What the fuck, man. (50 exp)
- With the place checked out and mostly looted, things seem bad. Eleyn laments the historical accuracy of pre-looted tombs. (50 exp)
- One choice remains - the star chamber with the alleged magical trap. Turns out there's no trap... but a secret door is found in there too. (50 exp)
- Inside, an offering bowl. Leaving some coins on it results in a rumbling sound. Inspection reveals a brass hand emerging from the wall in the looted treasure room. (50 exp)
- The hand is both pointing to the opposite wall and looking invitingly in need of a handshake. Nora complies, getting zapped by the giant joy buzzer to within an inch of her life. (50 exp)
- Helpfully the hand was pointing out a SECRET DOOR in the looted treasure room. Unfortunately there is a big ol' spider in the way. Eleyn slams in with the big Gambit and murders the poor arachnid. (50 exp)

- Inside the secret bit, a chest BRIMMING WITH COINS! Celebrations are slightly curtailed when it's discovered to contain 10,000 copper coins which represent a difficulty in transportation. (50 exp)

- Somewhat disappointed, the crew head up the spiral stairs to leave. And discover there is NO WAY OUT. The corridor has been blocked by a significantly large piece of sliding masonry. (50 exp)
- Contemplating their slow deaths by starvation, Nora feels a slight breeze in the first downstairs room, finding yet another secret door! (50 exp)
- The room at the end features buttons and levers. Trying out all the combinations for a while results in a secret door opening! Inside, a blocked escape tunnel. Brill. (50 exp)

- Luckily the other secret door is found right next to it, opening into a room with chairs surrounding a large organ. A plaque on the north wall exhorts the party to play the right music. (50 exp)
- Several different pieces are attempted with mixed results, until Gashbringer decides to just mash the keys. There is a large explosion. He does not survive. (50 exp)
- Nora is unfortunately also caught in the blast. Eleyn, out of the room, barely hears her final scream. (50 exp)
- Sophia manages to survive... barely. Unconscious, bleeding out, and with a bit of organ pipe piercing a lung, she's in a bad way. Fortunately Zan's quasi-godly healing powers bring her back from the brink. (50 exp)
- Behind the now-exploded organ is a plaque reading "Ha ha the door was open the whole time". Disgruntlement ensues. (50 exp)
- Behind said door is a series of puzzle rooms, unsolved. Somehow Zan remembers Richrom's wife's name, Lulu grabs the guy's full name from a previous false tomb, and guesses the number of guest rooms at the Grinding Gear based on the previous king's entourage puzzle. Cracking stuff. (50 exp)
- The final chamber (including a broken-open sarcophagus) is briefly explored. Gilded tapestry rods are removed from the ceiling and mirrored corridor ends are found, and everything is really rather mysterious. Where the fuck is the exit?! (50 exp)

Total: 1200 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Riddlemaster bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- Famous Last Words bonus (James & Andy's next character - 200 exp ea.)
- Near Death Experience bonus (Sophia - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness bonus (All but the dead - 2*100 exp ea.)

Total:  450 exp + bonuses
Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Nora, killed in a great explosion when Gashbringer decided it'd be a good idea to play random keys on the puzzle organ.

- Gashbringer, killed in a great explosion when he decided it'd be a good idea to play random keys on the puzzle organ.
- Sophia, survived the organ explosion... barely... with sundry internal injuries and a punctured lung.

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 37308 (Level up at 64000)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 21443 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 10634 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 4 Specialist (Assassin): 6019 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points!
James / Nora, Level 1 Specialist (Jack of All Trades): 1106 (Level up at 1500)*DECEASED*
Kitty / Sophia, Level 1 Necromancer: 716 (Level up at 2250)
Andy / Gashbringer, Level 1 Barbarian: 321 (Level up at 2000)
*DECEASED*James / Dr Witsk Von Held, Level 1 Specialist: 0 (Level up at 1500)
Andy / Cranky Jim, Level 1 Dwarf: 0 (Level up at 2200)
Absent or Retired:
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 25765 (Level up at 35200)
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 57812 (Level up at 64000)
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4655 (Level up at 6000)Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Session 91 - Can't Stop the Glop

A dungeon of traps! How wondrous. This can only end well!

This session's art comes courtesy of Ollie / Lulu who is still mentally recovering from nearly being devoured in her sleep..

See you next week!

Session 91 - Can't Stop the Glop

Campaign Date:

Thursday, 26 December, 1549
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:- A Necromancer, a vagrant and fan of the group who's been following them for quite some time, scrounging those they've killed for spell components.
- A Barbarian whose job as a Scribe was remarkably unsatisfying.
- Both of whom must have taken their character sheets home!? Oh noooo now I can't scan their sheets for their names. Names pending for now.

Enemies Defeated:
- 3 masses of green globby gunk, slain with ice or fire (150 exp)
- A magic user and two specialists, doomed by demon (75 exp)
- A large cuboid jelly (100 exp)

Total: 325 exp

Treasure and Equipment:
- 3gp, 18sp, 26cp (121 exp)
- 87 iron rations
- 4 small sacks
- 6 large sacks
- 24 iron spikes
- ten flasks of oil
- 2x 50' rope
- 12 torches
- a 10' pole
- A heavy crossbow
- Quiver of crossbow bolts
- Battleaxe
- A lantern
- Silver earrings (100 exp)
- Carved ivory statuette of a hippopotamus (250 exp)
- Small burnished carving of St McIver (50 exp)
- Spellbook containing Detect Magic, Read Magic, Shield, Sleep, Floating Disk
- Large marble statuette of St McIver (250 exp)

Total: 521 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter the first level of the Grinding Gear dungeon (100 exp)
- Explored 6 dungeons areas (120 exp)
- 3 secret doors discovered (150 exp)

Total: 370 exp

Events:
- After (presumably) waiting for Lulu to come back from moonlighting as Santa Claus, the party, including a couple of new additions, descends the ladder into the dungeon. (50 exp)
- The first thing they notice is the filth. The second thing is the largeish holes in the ceiling. The third thing is a sign that finishes with "I hate adventurers". Sounds like this place will be a laugh. (50 exp)
- The door is opened with Sophia's hook-on-a-pole with no ill effects. A sign saying "family crypt, please do not enter" is seen and automatic Tomb busters protocols turn on. (50 exp)
- Stabbington, eyes excited, pushes open the door and is punctured by several thin needles which turn his finger blue and a bit swollen. (50 exp)
- A mysterious lack of wall-holes partway down the corridor is investigated to find a secret door. Sick! It is avoided for now. (50 exp)
- The corridor ends in a door, blocked from the rear. An attempt to blast the thing open results in someone inside yelling in shock. (50 exp)
- While Jain continues attempts to blast through the door, Eleyn sets off down the secret corridor with part of the group. (50 exp)
- The stairs continue, ending in a door. To Eleyn's displeasure a bunch of green glop drops on her head and begins rapidly converting her and her equipment into more of itself (50 exp)
- Lulu attempts to attack the gunk but it begins eating at her magic sword. Fuck! Acting quickly, Sophia a ghost at the slime to blast it into the wall. I am happy that I can write that sentence. (50 exp)
- Eleyn opens the door quickly and darts out, trapping the slime behind it. (50 exp)
- Upstairs, Jain has been blasting Decay+Explosion at the door until a handspan-wide hole is blasted in the centre. The wizard inside somehow distrusts the people who have tried to batter their way in. (50 exp)
- Stabbington Shanks leans in to give him a Tomb Busters business card and ironically finds himself stabbed with shanks. They damage his armour a bunch but that's about it. (50 exp)
- OH ITS ON NOW say everyone up there, especially when the wizard starts casting a spell. (50 exp)
- Several people pull Stabbington's body out of the hole and Jain squirts some water through the hole via a water rune, then follows up with a beam of lightning. (50 exp)
- The shock fries one of the shankers inside and disrupts the Wizard's spell, a blast of uncontrolled energy surging into Jain with unknown consequences. (50 exp)
- Meanwhile the other group has tried ascending some nearby stairs. A section of wall blasts out and knocks them backwards down the stairs. Tee hee. (50 exp)
- Crawling on their bellies the group bypasses the springloaded wall and continues, eventually finding a T-intersection and turning into it. (50 exp)
- An untrapped door, once again opened via hook-pole, is opened. Inside is a stone statue of McIver on a wooden cart. (50 exp)
- There are not one but TWO chunks of green goop on the ceiling, causing all sorts of mischief. Luckily the gunk is scared of fire and nobody is actually digested. (50 exp)
- The statue was stannding on a spring-loaded trap door that springs up when the statue is removed by a dive tackle. The group descend... (50 exp)
- Back at the door, the fight goes poorly for those in the room. The dagger hand of one is caught in an alms bowl when NEW NECROMANCER NAME HERE pretends to cast a spell, and Jumurak comes in with a classic Summon Punch while he's distracted (50 exp)
- The magic travels through his body and expels itself behind him as a crystal demon, limbs full of eldritch machinery and mercifully under Jumurak's control. The wizard, attempting to climb the wall to escape getting shocked again, stands no chance and is dismembered. (50 exp)
- The crystal demon turns and eviscerates the last guy, absorbing pieces of him and absorbing them into its crystalline body. Its last act is to scrape the blockage from the door before collapsing into a single point in space. (50 exp)
- Inside the room, those guys' equipment... plus some amount of treasure that they found down here! (50 exp)
- The second group creeps along the tunnel and out into the paper-lined bottom of a pit. Embedded slightly into the paper are several yellow-clawed people lying stock still. (50 exp)
- Lulu goes to attack one but OH NO THEY ARE ALIVE which everyone already guessed. They attack but Eleyn and Nora smash the crap out of them with astonishingly effective SISTER COMBO ATTACKS. (50 exp)
- The spell written on the walls - "Perfectly Coiffured Hair". I wonder what it does. (50 exp)
- The first group after they've committed a triple homicide, they travel down the secret corridor and try another direction. After passing a bunch of statue-containing alcoves ANOTHER CLASSIC MONSTER. (50 exp)
- The gelatinous cube fumbles dramatically and accidentally pours the coins it's holding in its gloopy flesh into NECROMANCER NAME HERE's alms bowl. (50 exp)
- Many stabs later, the jelly cube blobs into a sludgy mess. With the party now split up, we end the session. (50 exp)Total: 1500 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- C-C-C-C-Combo bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus bonus (50 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Lulu - 100 exp)

Total:  650 exp + bonus
Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Sessions since last death: 4

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 57812 (Level up at 64000)
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4655 (Level up at 6000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 36382 (Level up at 64000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 25765 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 20517 (Level up at 32000)
Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 9708 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 5093 (Level up at 6000)
James / Nora, Level 1 Specialist (Jack of All Trades): 1106 (Level up at 1500)
Kitty / Sophia, Level 1 Necromancer: 716 (Level up at 2250)
Joe / Joe's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 321 (Level up at 2250)
Andy / Andy's Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 321 (Level up at 2000)

Absent or Retired:
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human