Session 292 - Spectres and Space Ghosts

 Spectres and Space Ghosts

Date: June 18, 21 P.P.

Moon: Third Quarter
Zenith: Minerva

New Backstory:
- The coffers of Aemelius Princeps' civilisation were running low, so he was forced to raise taxes. +1 Charisma.
- Liber Quint was shoved into a charcoal hole by her brother, which might be why she has such an affinity for charcoal. If you fall, automatically pass your Climb check to grab the edge.

Events:

--- Ghoulfriends

- After the flea attack of last session, the party have entered the small house of a couple of Necromancer types. Their mouths and clawed hands drip with gloopy ectoplasm, making it quite hard to understand them.
- Liber Quint gives one a handkerchief which really helps. Their boss next door is the Caretaker and he's a mean one. They've all been blessed by their new Necrogod with ghouly ectoplasm powers, and they're opposed to the other Necromancers in the mausoleum across the way. They're fundamentally divided on whether the vampire lord Cyrus survived the End War, and whether they should go seek him out and install him at the head of a new Necromancer civilisation.

--- Actually Frankenstein was the doctor

- They leave to seek out this other faction, and conveniently randomly encounter them on the way! They have cool clockwork skeletons and Frankensteins (monsters) that fizz with electricity and constantly ask existential questions.
- Aemileus greets them as their rightful Emperor, to general giggles. Swan the Swift notices that they've got wiggly daggers, just like him! He tries to convince them that he's a member of their order, "proving" his Necromantic power by waving his arms around while Liber sends up a wall of fog! Unfortunately the magic goes a bit haywire and all the plants around start growing super fast!
- Persuaded by the display of power, they invite the team into their mausoleum. Swan tells them that he's 1000 years old and knew Cyrus personally, which they're amazed by. He also asks if they could bring back the flea-punctured corpse of Igor back to life as a Frankenstein zombie, which they agree to do!

--- It's.... ALIIIIVEE!
- They rush Igor's body to their resurrection chamber which is, of course, down in the basement. Fizzing anbaric current flows through the table, through the bolts they installed in his neck, and into Igor's corpse! He opens his eyes - Igor has returned!
- He immediately recognises his master, Swan the Swift! It transpires that his life was so awful that death was a gift, leading to an amazing result when he's turned into a frankenzombie! That plus he's got electric fists now.
- The scientists explain that this technology is a combination of crashed Seraphim technology, mad science, and the weird energies of pod containing an evil space ghost called Torpo the Sane. It goes without saying, but naturally it would be absolutely fucking terrible if someone let the space ghost out.

- Further conversation reveals that these Necromancers are incredibly uninformed about the world outside, they didn't even know that Mt Death Frost was previously stuck under a dino-dome, or that there's a massive flesh tree out there now!
- They listen to a quick death-church service before they leave, gaining improved saves against Law and the ability to cancel other people's religious bonuses. Nice. Aemileus takes umbrage at the Necromancers' insistence that gods are all either fake or worthless, considering how all the Emperors get deified and all.

--- Coast to Coast
- They have a quick peek outside and dear lord that's a lot of plant growth! Swan is clearly a powerful mage! Might leave that for a bit though, seeing as it would be silly not to talk to this space ghost they've heard so much about.
- Torpo the Sane, as it turns out, is not particularly sane. He is rather talkative though. Apparently he got banished from his home planet after eating most of the life on said planet. He claims that Liber Quint is destined to open the glyph-inscribed coffin and join forces with him, which she does not believe somehow.
- After a bunch of attempts to get them to let him out, he yells out to the Necromancers in the rest of the complex that the team is letting him out! Naturally they rush in to stop our heroes!
- Aemilius swiftly Dominates the frankenzombie and forces it to turn on its master, while Liber Quint twists her heartspell into another Wall of Fog. Unfortunately the excess magic escapes again, this time as a Cosmic Horror result! Luckily (or "luckily") for Liber, it's one of the few non-instadeath results! Her eyes explode from her face and new eyes flicker into existence along her arms and hands, bubbling like frogspawn!
- This is all certainly enough chaos to escape with, so the gang make a break for it! They run out of the mausoleum and off through the twisting trees.

- Aemilius decides that he has seen enough of his empire and heads off to return to the Moon, Cambridge and/or Australia.

- The others make a loose plan to head to Mt Death Frost and see if Cyrus is actually alive or not. Plus they can check out the flesh tree and all that weird stuff that's bound to be over there!

Total: 5000 exp

Valuables:
- Igor, resurrected!

Foes vanquished:

- A Necromancer (50 exp)
- A Frankenzombie (25 exp)
- 2 clockwork skeletons (20 exp)
Total: 95 exp

OOC:
- Kitty: Chronicler & Cartographer
- Izzy: Expedition Leader
- Timothy: Triage
- George: Vanguard & Chef
100 exp per role

Exp Totals:

- George / Swan the Swift, Level 4 Barbarian: 12307 (Level up at 16000)

- Kitty / Liber Quint, Level 3 Bibliognost: 6310 (Level up at 9000)

- Izzy / Astro Moon, Level 3 Muscle Wizard: 5669 (Level up at 9000)
DING! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +free spell! +backstory!

- Timothy / Aemelius Princeps, Level 3 Halfling: 4587 (Level up at 8000)
DING! +1d6 HP! +1 to Domination! +backstory!

Session 291 - The Untimely Death of Clacky Snip-Snips

 The Untimely Death of Clacky Snap-Snaps

Date: June 16, 21 P.P.
Moon: Waning Gibbous Dragon Face
Zenith: Oberon

New Backstory:
- Astro Moon had very religious grandparents, hardcore Styxians. She turned her back on them. Apostate to Styxians. Immune to Styxian Clerics.
- Celebus Uppytus had a terrible birthday because nobody showed up. On June 15th every game year, and every real year, and on the week of your actual birthday, a known ally of your choice shows up during the session.
- Iskander defeated an enemy in glorious combat and granted them their death. +1 Dexterity.
- Swan the Swift bumped into an old acquaintance - the dog he saved back in the distant past. It was a thousand years old by that point and laughed in his face, clearly some sort of trickster deity being a dick as per usual. Once per session force someone you've met before not to act for a round.
- Liber Quint killed someone in a tragic charcoal burning accident, only finding the blackened bones several weeks later. Allies cannot be harmed by your fumbles.

Events:

--- There's Been a Murdahrrr!

- Church bells desperately ring out across Kink. The party, now much reinforced over last session, hurries past human crab-worshippers and giant crabs alike on their way to the church.
- They burst through the door and... horror of horrors! A huge dead crab lies in the aisle! Crabspeaker Johnny Snips, a man wearing false antennae and massive crab-speaking castanettes, is here with the local priest Peter Papenguy investigating the scene!
- Celebus inspects the corpse. It's a murder alright! And the murder weapon was... a distinctive pincer! Some of the crab meat within is gone too. He takes a rubbing of the pincer shape in order to pincerprint suspects.

--- One-Claw McGraw
- They head straight across town to see an old grizzled hero crab by the name of One-Claw McGraw. In front of the house they find another crab waiting - Elemy Scorpio the Crab Squire!
- He refuses to let the unworthy approach One-Claw McGraw, so Iskander challenges him to a noble duel. Scorpio draws an elegant rapier, while Iskander has his skeleton hand him a heavy hammer.

- They duel, and despite the fancy legwork of the Crab Squire he is forced to yield to the superior warrior.

- They enter the house and meet One-Claw McGraw himself! He indeed has only one claw, and also somehow an eyepatch. He lost the claw and the eye in a battle against the crystal dragon to the north, which menaces the good stoneshell quarries of the crabs.
- Celebus compares the rubbing of the murder weapon to One-Claw McGraw's one claw. It's a perfect match... except it's the wrong way round! Clacky Snap-Snaps was murdered with his missing claw!
- Charles makes the most perfect NANI!!??! face.
- The witnesses to the dragon fight were his squire, Elemy Scorpio, and his squire's squire Barry d'Louse. Barry now works at the Barber where he works in cleaning and de-lousing the crabs' stone shells. Barry is now a suspect.
- One-Claw McGraw himself says that he was outside Clacky's house when the murder happened! He was spurned by her, and wished to woo her by standing outside the window and serenading her with some classic Peter Gabriel.
- As they leave with their suspicions, they see the town gossip Kyle Conselle who is delighted to let them in on the secret that Pennicrab Sugarclaw, a nudist crab living in a mansion on the edge of town, was also wronged by Clacky Snip-Snips. Clacky took her old shell, and no new one fit, leading to her current situation. Another suspect!

--- Split the Party

- They decide to split up to investigate suspects.
- Iskander and Liber Quint interrogate Barry d'Louse. He confesses that he doubled back after the disastrous attack on the dragon, reclaiming McGraw's other claw and also eating the meat from his lost eye stalk. Disgusting! However, he sold the claw to a collector - Pennicrab Sugarclaw herself! The plot thickens.
- Celebus and Astro Moon go to the egg-laden mansion of Pennicrab Sugarclaw. She tells them that she can't have done it - everyone would notice a naked crab walking through town. She did, however, have McGraw's other claw as a souvenir... but it recently went missing from over the mantlepiece! No crabs could have got in here undetected, so the thief must be a human.
- Swan the Swift and Eegor go back to Elemy Scorpio the Crab Squire and find out that Barry always had a thing for Clacky Snap-Snaps, but she wasn't into humans and honestly how would that even work.

--- Mystery Solved!
- Barry d'Louse is clearly the most suspicious taken to the church to see the body and... he breaks down in tears. It was him! It was all him! He even points out the murder weapon where he'd hidden it behind the pews - it's McGraw's other claw!
- He tries to run, but Iskander shoots him in the leg. He is dragged before the Crab Queen in the river under the bridge, and pleads guilty. Premeditated crab murder - a capital crime. Iskander suggests he be executed by One-Claw McGraw whom he tried to frame, but Swan the Swift swiftly kicks him off the bridge and into the waiting maw of the Crab Queen!
- She devours him whole, and in thanks for this great service to crabkind gives the gift of the Gifflewim Coin she has been protecting. She warns them never to flip it, for Gifflewim is a great danger now, infected by the Idea of Thorns.

--- Off to the Local Dungeon Locale
- With a fair bit of time left in the session they're at a bit of a loose end. They do grab some cheeky crab meat and crab lice on their way out, so Astro Moon cooks up "Seasea Landland" from the seafood, some butter, and a prickly pear that Celebus picked up from the roadside.

- It looks pretty fucking dire honestly, just a protein shake slurry, but somehow she manages to kick it over the line from Palatable into Tasty. 
- There's a big obvious dungeon nearby - one of the wing-petals of a Seraphim thrusts from the ground where it crashed during the End War. They head that way overland, the interminable Heatwave forcing the poor party to reluctantly slurp down the Seasea Landland slurry to keep on going.

--- Flea for your Lives
- They arrive at the site and find the way in has several statues of Necromancer-Generals carved out the front. There's also arguing from a house near the base of the ruined Seraphim petal.
- They investigate and hear some ectoplasm-spewing necromancers having an argument over whether Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus, millenia-old vampire overlord of the Undead forces during the End Times, is still alive. One side argues that he's alive (well, undead) and they should head off to find him and reinstall him at the head of the Necromancers, the other that he's either dead or defeated and so there's no point leaving the safety of their current base of operations.
- But suddenly, maybe attracted by the noise, an accursed sproinging begins from behind! It is nothing less than enormous fleas, and their accursed bouncing! Swan the Swift remains outdoors to face down the new foe!
- Celebus and Liber Quint spring into action, dumping oil all over the fleas. Swan tries to light the oil and is dragged back by Iskander! A rivalry is born on the battlefield! "I won't let you get all the glory SWANNY!" booms Iskander!
- Swan pulls Iskander out through the window and they tumble into the oil amongst the fleas. The torch drops and lights the fire! They wrestle in the oily fiery mud, fleas dying around them.
- It's getting tense until Celebus activates his backstory and One-Claw McGraw shows up! He was following the party to make sure they didn't get into more trouble! He spits water on the fire and breaks up the fight!

- Iskander and Swan the Swift shake hands, a fierce rivalry between warriors has been forged.
- The drippy necromancers inside the house, honestly quite baffled at what just went down, let the party come inside to rest up. The party feast on fried fleas and settle down to sleep, except for Astro Moon who finishes of the Seasea Landland and Liber Quint who disappears in the night to do spooky elf stuff beneath the light of the Dragon Face Moon.

Total: 7000 exp

Valuables:
- A fair amount of crab meat

- A Gifflewim Coin (500 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Foes Vanquished:
- Elemy Scorpio, defeated in a duel (25 exp)
- Barry d'Louse, indicted and executed by Crab (5 exp)
- 5 Corpse Fleas (25 exp)
Total: 55 exp

Exp Totals:

- George / Swan the Swift, Level 4 Barbarian: 11033 (Level up at 16000)

- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 3 Fighter: 7408 (Level up at 8000)

- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 3 Necromancer: 5824 (Level up at 9000)
DING! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +1 Free Spell!

- Kitty / Liber Quint, Level 3 Bibliognost: 5036 (Level up at 9000)

DING! +1d6 HP! +1 Mana! +1 Free Spell!

- Izzy / Astro Moon, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 4395 (Level up at 4500)

Session 290 - Crab People

 Session 290 - Crab People

New Characters:
- Liber Quint, a Bibliognost Elf who was a charcoal burner before the End War.

New Backstory:
- Swan the Swift nursed a wounded hund back to health and found it a loving home. +1 to Henchman morale.

Events:

--- Liber Quint
- Somehow bereft of his previous party, Swan the Swift rides by skeleton horse down the dusty road towards Kink. It is absolutely stinking hot. Through the shivering mirage ahead he sees a figure loitering by the roadside - an Elf with curling ears and a bagful of charcoal!
- Her name is Liber Quint and she's heard some explosions coming from over the nearby cliff that slopes sharply down to the river below.
- Swan joins her in investigating - inspection shows that it's flights of drakencult ghosts jumping off the cliffs and exploding on the river below, before reforming and doing it all again! One of the Insanity Mammoth ghosts comes to investigate the pair. He seems to think it's still the End War, and explodes when it's pointed out that the tentacle has been replaced by a plume of thorns.
- Quint gathers the ectoplasm in her scoop - it's nice and cool on this hot day. Swan gets another Insanity Mammoth to grab him a bone from the riverbed - it pulses with explosive energies.

--- Knotsmen
- They continue on towards Kink. Swan insists there are crabs living there. On the way they hear some pained voices and see some Knotsmen - 2 upright men with pulsing knot-veins in their skin and a manservant types whose intestines are knotted in front of him.
- The manservant is moaning about how hungry he is and getting slapped by one of the Knotsmen. Quint and Swan sneak away and carry on towards Kink, leaving well enough alone.

--- Crabs!
- On the outskirts of Kink, in a scrubby thorny woodland, the pair decide to rest. It has been an excessively hot day, and Swan for one is exhausted. He spends the night on the ground while Quint disappears to dance in the moonlight. The night is charged with fizzing energy and crawling bugs, but the morning dawns and it looks like it'll be another scorcher.
- They get into Kink before the day really heats up. The town is full, as Swan insisted, of massive crabs wearing massive stone shells. The crabs have paint on their claws and shells, and some of the stone shells have been carved and mounted with twinned muskets so a human can ride on the back and shoot people.
- A man with big fake pincers and deely-bopper crab antennae emerges from a house and introduces himself as Crabspeaker Johnny Snips. Quint's identifying touch shows the truth - he is indeed a man dressed as a crab.
- He tells them that the humans here obey the crabs, and he is one who has learnt some of the crab language. Obviously they communicate with antennae-waves and pincer-snaps, hence his equipment. He asks about the Storm Shell that they came from - there are terrible rumours that crabs are taken in there and (horror!) eaten! They must be saved!
- Quint suggests a crab-goblin exchange programme. Crabs get sent in to be eaten, goblins get sent out to be eaten. Trade! The Crabspeaker is horrified - the crabs are intelligent creatures! More intelligent than humans! And furthermore they must be honoured, since it was crabs who defeated the tentacle! Or so he says at least.

--- Crabmother
- Since the two of them seem fairly sane, the Crabspeaker lets them come into the town. There is the stonecarver where they carve new shells, the old Barber where crabs are now de-loused, the mansion at the end of the lane that contains shell-less crab perverts, and so on.
- Swan asks to be taken to the wisest crab and is taken to the bridge. Nets are rigged up to ensure the eggs spawning there aren't washed downstream. There is also a truly enormous crab down in the river - the Crabmother!
- Swan asks about her life, and she says she was born six years ago when the world was barren. She was touched by a mysterious biped who made her big and covered the world with thorns! She protects a Gifflewim coin which she has sworn to protect - the biped is cruel and capricious and must never be summoned.
- However she is open to a deal. If the crystal dragon to the north can be defeated she will release the coin into their hands for safe keeping, since that will prove that they will be mightier defenders of the thing. The dragon perilously close to a field of good stone for shells, and has eaten several good crabs in the past.
- That seems like a big ask for a couple of low level PCs, so she also asks for help freeing her brethren from the Storm Shell. There are nightmare tales of a terrifying factory turning innocent crabs into meat.

--- Haunted Bisque
- Swan and Quint decide to do a bit of fishing upriver. Instead they find Topsy-Turvy Lilies, now evolved to be larger and with thorny edges. It doesn't stop the pair from flipping them over and harvesting artichoke-like bulbs on their undersides.
- They swap half of the bulbs for some preserved crab meat that Crabspeaker Johnny Snips keeps in reserve. It's fine though, this is ethically sourced crab meat from crabs who died of natural causes.
- They cook the remaining bulbs, the crab meat, and a glop of ectoplasm to create a Haunted Bisque. It's merely palatable. The smell does, however, start to attract some crabs, so the pair make a swift exit.

--- Knotsmen Again
- They return to where they saw the Knotsmen and surprisingly they're still there! The two boss Knotsmen are climbing out of a crack in the ground, helped by their manservant Eegor.
- Offered some Haunted Bisque, they speak! They live beneath the ground, so their eyes are weak. They sold their sons (one of them bends over in pain at these words) and their veins knot when they tell the truth of their existence...
- Eegor is not one of them, but bound to their service because they've tied his external intestines in a complicated knot. He can't digest food without it being untied, and so will die if his master dies. Quint touches his master and sees the memory of how to undo Eegor's belly knot.
- The masters, who refer to themselves as Fathers, eat some soup. Swan the Swift gives one of them the exploding bone from earlier. Quint grabs Eegor and they run! Behind them is a massive explosion. Gobbets of meat rain down from above.
- Once safe Quint un-knots Eegor's belly and gives him some soup. He thanks her greatly, and once he's finished she knots his stomach back up. He seems to think this is normal. Eegor the Henchman acquired!

Total: 7000 exp

Valuables:
- An exploding bone, already utilised.
- A man, hench.

Defeated Foes:
- Knotsmen, exploded (50 exp)

Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 4 Barbarian: 9522 (Level up at 16000)
DING! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Table rolls!
- Kitty / Liber Quint, Level 2 Bibliognost: 3525 (Level up at 4500)
DING! +1d6 HP! +1 Mana! +Free spell!

Session 289 - KNEEL BEFORE GORATH

 Session 289 - KNEEL BEFORE GORATH

New Characters:
- Aemelius Princeps, the last Emperor of the Halfling Empire, finally returned from the moon.
- Celebus Uppytus, a Necromancer who was using his Necromantic abilities to debone chickens in the Ferfectory

New Backstory:

- Iskander accidentally killed a merchant by backing over him with a wagon and took over his fledgling trading company. Allies cannot be harmed by your fumbles.
- Swan the Swift fell off the longboat during a raid on Lindisfarne and discovered he loved the water! +1 Piloting

Events:

--- The Newbies Brought Snacks!
- In a lush and verdant landscape next to a screaming well, Iskander and Swan the Swift nurse their wounds. The Draugr last time turned out to be quite tough.
- They are hungry, and conveniently a couple of people with food have shown up with food! They are a Halfling in grandiose robes, and a Necromancer with a paper bag full of chicken burgers.
- They feast, and backstories are exchanged in return. Aemilius and Celebus are filled in on the dungeon down the well. Got to be some good stuff down there right?

--- GORATH
- They climb down the well and snoop around further. Down a side corridor they find a model longship with tiny valuable model treasure in it. It looks very familiar to Swan the Swift and would be a perfect boat for a small person to ride about in.
- They take it to the entrance and explore further.
- In another room is a throne upon which sits an armoured skeleton. On the wall is a six-titted boar. On his throne are six boar-tits. I don't know why tits are the only descriptor in this module.
- The skeleton stands up and the ring on its finger glows, manifesting a massive greatsword! It bellows "I AM GORATH! DEFENDER OF THE FLAYED KING!" and loses initiative!
- Amelius shoots it in the head and Swan the Swift lobs a spear, both to little effect, as Iskander charges in and smashes the fuck out of Gorath with a heavy hammer! Celebus vomits up his own skeleton and discards his petty human flesh then charges into battle, getting immediately smashed to pieces by Gorath's sweeping greatsword!
- Amelius charges in on Police the Goat, critting Gorath in the chest and smashing him to pieces too!
- Celebus' skeleton xylophones back into shape and he stands up, pouring himself back into his skin.
- They grab the ring which allows the bearer to summon Gorath's cool ghost sword.

--- The Flayed King
- They enter the next room to find a skinned man chained to the back wall! His skin is nailed to the floor before him. He screams that he was cursed with knowledge, and anyone touching his skin will have their skin tear off too!
- Celebus, though out of Mana, declares that he will try casting Eject Skeleton again. The rest of the party quietly shut the door and wait outside. Wouldn't you know it, the spell goes wild! Luckily the spell still works, but his flesh is puking its guts up as a result.
- The others open the door to see Celebus shaking his skin out like a plastic bag full of vomit. It's quite the sight.
- The ploy pays off though, Celebus (or should that be Skelebus?) picks up the Fated King's skin no problem. He undoes the chains and kind of wriggles the King back into his skin. It's not attached or anything, so it's a bit like a flesh onesie. It hurts much less though so he's very grateful.
- He will allow each member of the party ONE QUESTION each, and duly gives over his knowledge. Celebus gains a spell, Iskander gains forbidden Dexterity techniques, Swan the Swift finds out how to improve his core Constitution, and the goat asks for the location of the most delicious paper.

- The Flayed King calls out to GORATH who is reforming outside. Despite being cursed with knowledge, he feels like an idiot for not getting his skeleton friend to help with his skin. It seems so obvious in hindsight!

- Gorath picks the King up by the scruff of the skin and slings him over his back. Everyone leaves the dungeon in good spirits! Gorath waves the party goodbye and sets off to wonder the wild world beyond the well.

--- New Moondin
- They head back into the Shell, the way behind them fuzzing over with static. Julgoor's bank has a multitude of Julgoor bank tellers. They take the loot gladly, and the party discover that once you've paid of your Obol debt any excess wealth comes in the form of Ferfect Fried Chicken coupons.

- They got to the Church of the Angel and find out from the priests that the 9G network is down! They haven't had direct contact with the Gods since Lockdown.
- The party check into a hotel and spend the night.
- The next morning they awaken and... it's the same day again? Again? Except things aren't the same, they've woken up in hotel beds this time, sometimes next to people who are waking up into the day again! Plus objects haven't been reset?
- There's a scream of "oh my god the hundred-human pie is still here!!" from the nearby Library-Colosseum.
- It all sounds a bit fucked so the party decide to head out to Kink which is hopefully much less fucked.

--- The Ghost Corporal

- They travel out of the Storm Shell once more and into an interminable heatwave. Insects buzz lazily through thorny shrubs, and larger insects swoop like swifts through the clouds of gnats. It's fucking boiling though, so the heavy armour wearers peel themselves out of their suits and drape them on the various horses and skeleton retainers they have on hand.
- As they travel they overhear a choir of angel voices singing in... English? That's new. They ignore them for now and keep going. After a time on the road they see a crumbling guard tower. Might as well check it out?
- A voice cries out as they approach, "who goes there!". It's the ghost of a soldier! Amelius distracts him by putting on airs while the others poke about. The soldier, a corporal, still thinks it's the time of the End War and that he's guarding the road from all sorts of nasties.
- Jackpot! There are 20 Iron Rations in the cupboard, emergency food that clearly nobody needs any more. Also outside in the stables are 3 animated skeleton horses. Result!
- All this stuff is duly nicked and the party continue on their merry way. Next stop Kink!

Total: 6000 exp

Valuables:
- Adorable miniature longship loot (1000 exp)
- A fancy six-titted throne (2000 exp)
- Ghostsword Ring lets you summon a ghostly Greatsword into your hands.
- 3 skeletal Steeds (3000 exp)
- 20 Iron Rations (200 exp)
Total: 6200 exp

Murders:
- GORATH, smashed by hammer and goat, but later befriended. (250 exp)
Total: 250 exp

OOC:
- Remembrancer: Charles (100 exp)
- Expedition Leader: George (100 exp)
- Quartermaster: Ollie (100 exp)
- Vanguard: George (100 exp)
- Triage: Timothy (100 exp)
- Chef: Timothy (100 exp)
- Art Attack: Charles (100 exp)
- Dead Character Exp Boost: Charles (1000 exp)

Exp Totals:

- George / Swan the Swift, Level 3 Barbarian: 5997 (Level up at 8000)
DING! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Table rolls!

- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 3 Fighter: 5897 (Level up at 8000)
DING! +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble tables!
- Timothy / Aemelius Princeps, Level 2 Halfling: 3313 (Level up at 4000)
DING! +1d6 HP! +1 to Domination!

- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 2 Necromancer: 4313 (Level up at 4500)
DING! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +Free Spell!

Session 288 - After the Lockdown

Session 288 - After the Lockdown

New Characters:
- Police, a Halfling cop who stares at goats.
- Swan the Swift, an ex-torturer Barbarian with a very Norse aesthetic
- Astro Moon, a Muscle WIzard surface farmer with a very Magical Girl aesthetic.
- Iskander Fullbeard, a Fighter, trader and Forebearer who long survived the Wastes.

Events:

--- Groundhog Day
It's been Groundhog Day for a long time. In the morning the Powershell overhead bursts into fuzzing static, and everyone wakes up into the same day. At first few remembered the previous loops, doing proper Bill Murray Groundhog Day shit, but over time more and more people began to wake into the loop.
Extremely awkward for those early people though, when they suddenly discovered that their actions have consequences.
But today something is different. Something cracked through the dome overhead and crashed on the High Hill near town. Surprised and curious, a gang of new characters heads out to investigate...

--- The Gad and the Goat
- A motley band of adventurers sets out from New Moondin. It's not far to the High Hill, and this far into the loops they've all gone there countless times. Iskander is riding a bone horse and is followed by a skeleton porter. Everyone else has to walk.
- First they travel up past the Pod Farms. Little self-contained domes full of crops. Nobody works on them any more. It's pointless when the crops reset. They talk to a farmer who tells them as much, and Police takes some corn as evidence.
- There's not much of a trail up past the Gad Cliffs, but of course they know the way. There aren't many Elves in the cliffs any more, since they don't have to sleep it's easy for them to go live in the future. Tomorrow People of other species can get a few weeks away at best, but eventually even the biggest insomniacs run out of cocaine.
- To everyone's surprise, a Gad is here! Thin and long-limbed, with wrap-around eyes and shimmering gossamer sugar-glider wings. She calls out to Swan the Swift, who she remembers from a previous loop. She's called Silf and he's not quite sure when they met, since despite waking early on Day Zero he was one of the last people become conscious of the loop itself.
- She offers to guide them up to the High Hill, and on the way they see a goat! Police runs to mind-control it with his Halfling powers... and it conks him right in the head! They manage to subdue it despite its goatiness, and Police ties it to his back. After several attempts, he finally makes it his pet.



--- Back From the Old Days
- Atop the hill they find, still glowing, your previous characters! They crashed through the dome after a fight with Gifflewim to somehow undo the Lockdown. Unfortunately Gifflewim did something to their memories, because they were getting too good at getting to him between the loops.
- They all head back to New Moondin, the old heroes heading to various places to become Mentors. Ratman goes to live under the old collapsed bridge, Plodd and Poison Phil head to the Goblin Integration Zone to see if they can do anything to help the Goblins who live behind the walls, and Candy Crush plans to go see the mirror witch she remembers meeting in an adventure long ago.

--- Going Outside
- With the time loop apparently ended, they decide to head out to see what the world beyond looks like.
- They walk through the static mist and... Holy shit it's so GREEN.
- Outside the world has recovered. Grass rustles, insects buzz, birds flit through the air. It's amazing.
- They also hear a scream coming from down a well. Since I have prepped nothing extra it looks like a classic dungeon placed in this hex long ago is the new hotness.

--- Well Enough Alone
- Down the well there is, of course, a dungeon. Luminous fresh water and a corridor that leads to a door. They enter into a room with floor tiles with a plant and vine aesthetic. It's also, clearly, hollow.
- Iskander smashes the floor with his hammer, and it falls in! Down there is a single big sarcophagus, and some sort of tiresome water puzzle.

- Iskander and Astro Moon jump down to investigate. They solve the water puzzle, the sarcophagus lid pulls back... and a bunch of dead people jump out! They look exactly like Skyrim Draugr! Both investigators are rapidly hauled back up to the floor above.
- The draugr yell "hey leave us alone ok?" but after much deliberation, the discovery that they've got a cool magic necklace, and many comments to the effect of "we can take them easy", the party attack!

--- Against the Draugr
-Silf the Gad flutters away, scared, and the battle is joined!
- Three of the draugr are flung by the others up onto the main level, and Astro Moon tries a gambit to kick one back down. Unfortunately she falls down herself and is mobbed by the three that stayed down there. One of them chews off her hand!
- Police bravely takes on two of the draugr on the top level, and gets absolutely mauled. He takes a couple down, but with his collarbone shattered and bleeding in twenty different places he is yes - fucking dead. With his last moments he uses meme magic to transfer his soul into the goat. Police is now a Police Goat.
- Swan and Iskander, better at fighting, are set upon by the other draugr after they take down Astro Moon and leave her to her fate. They cut down several, and the draugr start to complain that they might lose!
- But wait! It's the GOAT! It charges into battle and headbutts the final one with its horns! The draugr's corpse tumbles down, shattering its head on the stone floor.
- A short funeral is held for Police's corpse, attended of course by Police Goat. They shove it into the sarcophagus and close the lid.
- Iskander grabs the magic thingy this was all in aid of getting. It's a Corpse Chat Necklace, and allows the spirit animating an undead creature to speak! Clearly this needs to go on his skeleton porter.

Total: 7000 exp

Valuables:
- Corpse Chat Necklace - allows the spirit animating an undead creature to speak.

Murders:
- 6 draugr, slain at great cost (150 exp)

Total: 150 exp

OOC:
- Remembrancer: Charles (100 exp)
- Art Attack: Charles (100 exp)
- First party to enter this dungeon (200 exp)
- Amputation Bonus (Astro Moon - 100 exp)
- Near Death Experience (Astro Moon - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness (all - 100 exp ea.)
- Died In Your First Session (Charles - 500 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Izzy / Astro Moon, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2884 (Level up at 4500)
DING! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +free spell!
- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 2 Fighter: 2684 (Level up at 4000)
DING! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian rolls!
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 2 Barbarian: 2684 (Level up at 4000)
DING! +1d8 HP! +1 to BAB! +1 to Crits/Fumbles!
- Charles / Police, Level ? Goat: ? exp (Never level up)
- Charles Next Character: +1000 exp.