Date: July 16, 14 p.p.
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Zenith: The Lady
Moon: Waning Gibbous
Zenith: The Lady
New Backstory:
- Tyler Lockheart lost an argument with Swan the Swift over a choice he'd made. When you fail a Save, they automatically pass the same Save.
- Tyler Lockheart's father was an angry drunk, and he got good at dodging bottles. +1 Dexterity
- Tyler Lockheart lost an argument with Swan the Swift over a choice he'd made. When you fail a Save, they automatically pass the same Save.
- Tyler Lockheart's father was an angry drunk, and he got good at dodging bottles. +1 Dexterity
Events:
--- Split to the Party
- Team Work Drinks, being Celebus and Swan the Swift, have been dragged to after work drinks by the staff of the bank. Swan is still massively fucked off about his treatment by HR, and stands seething in the corner.
- To prevent anyone talking to him, Celebus tells the assembled circle of drinkers that Swanny has the most tiresome job possible - Operational Risk. Swanny is ignored for the rest of the night.
- Celebus gets to work making idle chatter about the layout of the bank, since he's a new intern and all. Through the power of weaponised dramatic irony, this is all useful information for the second team...
- Team Work Drinks, being Celebus and Swan the Swift, have been dragged to after work drinks by the staff of the bank. Swan is still massively fucked off about his treatment by HR, and stands seething in the corner.
- To prevent anyone talking to him, Celebus tells the assembled circle of drinkers that Swanny has the most tiresome job possible - Operational Risk. Swanny is ignored for the rest of the night.
- Celebus gets to work making idle chatter about the layout of the bank, since he's a new intern and all. Through the power of weaponised dramatic irony, this is all useful information for the second team...
--- Night Guards
- Inside the bank the Specialists of Team Heist, being Amanta and Tyler, have managed to remain inconspicuous as the staff all filed out. Now there's just the eyeball cameras and the night guards to deal with.
- Also, for those listening at home, the bank is an enormous pig and they're running around in its innards.
- At the work party Celebus is being told about the high-security safes are protected under acid, and the controls are in the guard room in the brain, and how the security protocols are a complete nightmare whenever someone actually wants to get their stuff out. Celebus, on his third pint, nods sagely.
- Amanta scurries across the floor of the bank's main hall, towards the brain. She slips past a guard without a sound, jimmies the lock on the door, and slides inside before the eye-camera comes back online. She sees a brief glimpse of a cat-like reflective coating on the thing as it turns back on - clearly night vision.
- She looks into the brain room itself, her big mantis bug-eyes peeking around the side of the door. There are guards playing cards... and at least one of those weird dogs with anglerfish heads sniffing around.
--- HR Approaches
- Back in the pub, Swan sees the HR lady that fired him and was so very fucking rude doing it.
- He sees her heading to the toilet, and follows with his massive axe.
- Inside the bank the Specialists of Team Heist, being Amanta and Tyler, have managed to remain inconspicuous as the staff all filed out. Now there's just the eyeball cameras and the night guards to deal with.
- Also, for those listening at home, the bank is an enormous pig and they're running around in its innards.
- At the work party Celebus is being told about the high-security safes are protected under acid, and the controls are in the guard room in the brain, and how the security protocols are a complete nightmare whenever someone actually wants to get their stuff out. Celebus, on his third pint, nods sagely.
- Amanta scurries across the floor of the bank's main hall, towards the brain. She slips past a guard without a sound, jimmies the lock on the door, and slides inside before the eye-camera comes back online. She sees a brief glimpse of a cat-like reflective coating on the thing as it turns back on - clearly night vision.
- She looks into the brain room itself, her big mantis bug-eyes peeking around the side of the door. There are guards playing cards... and at least one of those weird dogs with anglerfish heads sniffing around.
--- HR Approaches
- Back in the pub, Swan sees the HR lady that fired him and was so very fucking rude doing it.
- He sees her heading to the toilet, and follows with his massive axe.
- Celebus sees him leave and takes attention with a shit anecdote. It's easy to pull attention away from the Operational Risk guy apparently.
--- You've Got Buns Hun
- Amanta, in a cunning ruse, decides to pretend she's Olga the Cleaning Lady and offer the remaining guards in the guard room her remaining Slut Buns. These were obtained directly from a Lust Demon and very potent.
- Unfortunately for the ruse, she is a giant fucking mantis woman. The guards scream, the fish-dog screams, everyone screams. She tries to lob her buns into everyone's mouths and fails, accidentally falling onto the tray and devouring them all... except for one that is snarfed up by the fish-dog.
- It is suddenly realised that there is one big thing that everyone knows about mantis mating... they devour the male. This horny mantis is hungry for heads! In a state of lust-rage Amanta runs at the guards and they flee!
- Amanta, in a cunning ruse, decides to pretend she's Olga the Cleaning Lady and offer the remaining guards in the guard room her remaining Slut Buns. These were obtained directly from a Lust Demon and very potent.
- Unfortunately for the ruse, she is a giant fucking mantis woman. The guards scream, the fish-dog screams, everyone screams. She tries to lob her buns into everyone's mouths and fails, accidentally falling onto the tray and devouring them all... except for one that is snarfed up by the fish-dog.
- It is suddenly realised that there is one big thing that everyone knows about mantis mating... they devour the male. This horny mantis is hungry for heads! In a state of lust-rage Amanta runs at the guards and they flee!
- Tyler picks this exact moment to sneak into the guard room and towards the bank of clearly labelled switches that lower the acid in the safe room. He chooses number one... and finds that only one can be used at a time. He sneaks back out before the enraged Amanta sees him, pursued by an amorous fish-hound.
--- Laughing Powder
- At the pub, Celebus sees the tentacle-handed supervisor who was dealing with the sausage sorting office. His name is Greg Hands, apparently.
- Celebus offers him a bump of coke, which Greg gratefully and surreptitiously accepts.
- Joke's on him! It's laughing powder! Greg bursts out laughing... and will continue for a good week or so.
- While he's distracted, Celebus nicks his keys. Now they can get back into the pub!
--- The Eyes Have It
- Tyler sneaks back, having managed to lose the fish-dog on the way. He drops into the drained acid pit and, against the odds, manages to ace the lock on the safe! Inside he finds a delicious, and very valuable, leg of cured iberico ham. Clean meat! They're rich!
- Back in the brain, Amanta has calmed down. She operates the next switch, draining the next acid pit down in the gallbladder.
- To my bafflement, Tyler once again easily opens the safe! Inside are various interesting bits and pieces which he scoops out before jumping out of the acid pit again.
- Suddenly another door bursts open! It's the guards who fled earlier, and they've brought another guard with loads of eyes! They charge at Amanta, who throws a Tooth Grenade she's been saving since the massive hands! It misses the eye guard but explodes on the other two, who are rapidly covered in rapidly-growing lines of teeth that tear at their flesh! They stumble on after her, the Eye Guard ducking back into the door he came from.
- Amanta runs back out of the guard room towards the gallbladder, and more importantly towards the lower lung where their drill-worm still waits for them to exit the place!
--- Heeeere's Swanny
- In the toilets at the pub, Swanny axes through the door of the stall and peers through at the mean HR lady with a wild look in his eyes.
- There is a loud scream and Swan emerges from the loos covered in blood.
- Luckily this is the Meatlands and that's not so strange.
- Before anyone can investigate, Celebus grabs Swan by the arm and meaningfully directs him towards the exit. To the bank!
--- Laughing Powder
- At the pub, Celebus sees the tentacle-handed supervisor who was dealing with the sausage sorting office. His name is Greg Hands, apparently.
- Celebus offers him a bump of coke, which Greg gratefully and surreptitiously accepts.
- Joke's on him! It's laughing powder! Greg bursts out laughing... and will continue for a good week or so.
- While he's distracted, Celebus nicks his keys. Now they can get back into the pub!
--- The Eyes Have It
- Tyler sneaks back, having managed to lose the fish-dog on the way. He drops into the drained acid pit and, against the odds, manages to ace the lock on the safe! Inside he finds a delicious, and very valuable, leg of cured iberico ham. Clean meat! They're rich!
- Back in the brain, Amanta has calmed down. She operates the next switch, draining the next acid pit down in the gallbladder.
- To my bafflement, Tyler once again easily opens the safe! Inside are various interesting bits and pieces which he scoops out before jumping out of the acid pit again.
- Suddenly another door bursts open! It's the guards who fled earlier, and they've brought another guard with loads of eyes! They charge at Amanta, who throws a Tooth Grenade she's been saving since the massive hands! It misses the eye guard but explodes on the other two, who are rapidly covered in rapidly-growing lines of teeth that tear at their flesh! They stumble on after her, the Eye Guard ducking back into the door he came from.
- Amanta runs back out of the guard room towards the gallbladder, and more importantly towards the lower lung where their drill-worm still waits for them to exit the place!
--- Heeeere's Swanny
- In the toilets at the pub, Swanny axes through the door of the stall and peers through at the mean HR lady with a wild look in his eyes.
- There is a loud scream and Swan emerges from the loos covered in blood.
- Luckily this is the Meatlands and that's not so strange.
- Before anyone can investigate, Celebus grabs Swan by the arm and meaningfully directs him towards the exit. To the bank!
--- Guards! Guards!
- Amanta is fleeing the guards across the main floor of the bank, hurdling queue barriers.
- The main doors open... it's Celebus and Swan!
- The guards, surprised, are quickly cut down.
- But then, more guards! The enraged manager Kevin from before is here, along with another guard! There is a sound of loud gongs echoing through the place. The alarm has finally been raised!
- Amanta nips back to the brain room to engage the third and final lever. Elsewhere, Tyler tinkers open YET ANOTHER safe despite his 2/6 Tinker and finds inside half a dragon core!
- Amanta is fleeing the guards across the main floor of the bank, hurdling queue barriers.
- The main doors open... it's Celebus and Swan!
- The guards, surprised, are quickly cut down.
- But then, more guards! The enraged manager Kevin from before is here, along with another guard! There is a sound of loud gongs echoing through the place. The alarm has finally been raised!
- Amanta nips back to the brain room to engage the third and final lever. Elsewhere, Tyler tinkers open YET ANOTHER safe despite his 2/6 Tinker and finds inside half a dragon core!
- Swan and Celebus' skeleton swiftly despatch the hated Kevin with a wild axe-swing and skele-claw combo, ripping the guy's massive veins from his body.
- The Eye-man from before, having gathered more guards, bursts in with another anglerfish-dog! The dog goes straight for the skeleton because it's made of bones, destroying it easily. The Eye Guard shoots something nasty-looking from a blowgun, barely missing Igor.
- It's a quick and nasty fight. Igor's electro-punches and Swan's mighty axe doing most of the work, while true to form Celebus takes a few hits. Soon the guards have been eliminated, their blood slicking the pigmeat floor.
- The Eye-man from before, having gathered more guards, bursts in with another anglerfish-dog! The dog goes straight for the skeleton because it's made of bones, destroying it easily. The Eye Guard shoots something nasty-looking from a blowgun, barely missing Igor.
- It's a quick and nasty fight. Igor's electro-punches and Swan's mighty axe doing most of the work, while true to form Celebus takes a few hits. Soon the guards have been eliminated, their blood slicking the pigmeat floor.
--- Pig Pen Shenanigans
- Meanwhile Tyler is still creeping around the place. The upper lung contains live pigs in pens, so he sneaks up the hatch and peeks in.
- There's definitely a few anglerfish-dogs up there, along with some guards who probably also have to muck out the pens.
- Tyler uses his fishing rod to unlatch one of the pig pens, and a fat sow comes grunting out. A guard investigates... but we don't have time for more so we end on that cliffhanger.
- Meanwhile Tyler is still creeping around the place. The upper lung contains live pigs in pens, so he sneaks up the hatch and peeks in.
- There's definitely a few anglerfish-dogs up there, along with some guards who probably also have to muck out the pens.
- Tyler uses his fishing rod to unlatch one of the pig pens, and a fat sow comes grunting out. A guard investigates... but we don't have time for more so we end on that cliffhanger.
Total: 10000 exp
Treasure:
- 10000sp of fine iberico ham (10000 exp)
- 10000sp of fine iberico ham (10000 exp)
- The People's Polearm - 1d10 damage, +2 to hit per ally in weapon range
- Slab of dried beef (2000 exp)
- 3 Gifflewim Coins
- Ram's Horn that sounds like an air horn
- Half a Gravity Dragon core (5000 exp)
Total: 17000 exp
- Slab of dried beef (2000 exp)
- 3 Gifflewim Coins
- Ram's Horn that sounds like an air horn
- Half a Gravity Dragon core (5000 exp)
Total: 17000 exp
Foes Defeated:
- The mean HR lady (5 exp)
- Quite a lot of guards (500 exp)
- Several special ability guards (225 exp)
- A few anglerfish-dogs (300 exp)
Total: 1030 exp
- The mean HR lady (5 exp)
- Quite a lot of guards (500 exp)
- Several special ability guards (225 exp)
- A few anglerfish-dogs (300 exp)
Total: 1030 exp
Roles:
- Chronicler & Chef - Charles
- Expedition Leader - Kitty
- Vanguard - George
- Chronicler & Chef - Charles
- Expedition Leader - Kitty
- Vanguard - George
Exp Totals:
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 6 Barbarian: 41712 (Level up at 64000)
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 5 Necromancer: 31337 (Level up at 36000)
- Kitty / Amanta, Level 6 Mantis Specialist: 28495 (Level up at 56000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!
- James G / Tyler Lockheart, Level 4 Specialist: 11189 (Level up at 12000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!
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