Tuesday, 25 January 2022

Session 307 - Astro Moon's Shit-Eating Grin

Date: July 28, 21 p.p.

Moon: Waxing Gibbous
Zenith: The Allfather


New Backstory:

- Astro Moon had a good set of friends when she was young, and was a devoted follower. +X to actions that at least two others have succeeded at this round/turn, +1 per success
- Iskander got the wrong impression of his mentor, Zulu, and kissed her... she threw him into the Burning Bush while it was on fire. +1 HD of health for the rest of the session if you successfully romance someone


Events:

--- The Meatworks
- With Swan the Swift currently down with the novel coronavirus, the rest of the team decide to take on an ancilliary heist - the Meatworks! A horrible factory which creates the Meat Lord's most powerful mutant Meat Men. Take it down and the assault on the Meat Lord's citadel will be much easier.
- There are two obvious entries - the front door (heavily guarded) and the poop chute outflow into the river (disgusting). Luckily surfer bro Tyler Lockheart is here with his radical surfing power! A plan is hatched!
- Tyler is to wear three of the magic meat necklaces containing almost all of his team-mates, while Iskander with his so-so surfing skills will bodyboard in behind. Tyler does so stylishly, surfing up the poop chute, while Iskander nearly messes up by falling into the stinky brown. Luckily it camouflages him enough to remain unseen by any guards!

--- The Flushway
- They paddle in up the outflow and find themselves in a tunnel with a fairly thin ledge, all running with brown sludge. It is strangely familiar to those who experienced a certain chocolate factory on a certain lunar body. Must be their dodgy maps they brought with them...
- For some reason, Astro Moon tastes the faecal river! A rush of magic nearly sends her gobbling up big handfuls of the stuff... but luckily she passes the save! Phew!
- They find some noses that can be pressed to release antiseptic gunk. It's covid safe!
- The doors are big clenched mouths that open with an "ouch!" when you bop their nose.

--- Cauldrons and the Poop Guy
- Hearing voices and splashing behind one door, and not much other than a faint bubbling behind the other door, they opt for the latter. Inside are cauldrons full of bubbling colourful gunk... and at one side of the room a really fat guy in a big press!
- They talk to the guy and it seems he's being mined for his magical poop, which is squeezed out occasionally by the big press. It's very horrible, but the guy refuses to be released because they'll just do this to someone else. At least he knows that while he's here getting tortured it's preventing someone else from the same fate.


- Investigating the gunk cauldrons it soon becomes apparent that, yes, there's a random table. Who can resist drinking random goop in a dungeon when it's got a random table attached?!
- Results range from some big goop guy coming out and attacking you (this happens twice, both times eventually murdered!), some delicious strawberry-flavoured liqueur, and something that is just marmite.
- They check a side room and find some kids imprisoned! They are all references to some well known characters from a certain book about a chocolate factory! Maybe to be released later, who knows.
- Tyler peeps into the next main room through the gritted teeth, seeing little orange guys with buckets in their crab claw hands scooping frothy broth full of mutating flesh and eyeballs from big seething vats!
- Celebus charges up a spell and animates a bucket of guts as a distraction! The horrified target tries to drop the bucket as the guts start slithering over him and... the pub tells us they're closing early tonight!
- It's a cliffhanger ending!

Total: 4000 exp


Loot:
- Strawberry Liqueur x5
- Marmite x7

Murders:
- 2 big goopy blobby guys! (150 exp)



OOC:
Art Attack: Charles
Model Maniac: Ollie
Chronicler: Charles
Expedition Leader & Vanguard: Kitty
Quartermaster & Triage: Ollie
Chef: Izzy


Exp Totals:
- Charles / Celebus Uppytus, Level 6 Necromancer: 38953 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Amanta, Level 6 Mantis Specialist: 36111 (Level up at 56000)
- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 6 Fighter: 35874 (Level up at 64000)
- James G / Tyler Lockheart, Level 5 Specialist: 13459 (Level up at 24000)
- Izzy / Astro Moon, Level 4 Muscle Wizard: 13192 (Level up at 18000)


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