Session 417 - The Dead and the Devout

Date: 16th September 1625

Zenith Deity: Alaunus

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent

Moon Face: Dragon Face

New Characters:

- Likelangelo, a failed artist (not Hitler!) and Specialist whose art is very much not the strong suit. Maybe it's just too avant garde?

Events:

--- Breach and Clear Off

- After resting in Gryphon's dad's room (RIP in peace) our now mysteriously smaller group made up of Manrat and Sulfur decide to clear the prison section with the goal of turning this castle into their new base of operations.
- They leave and... who's this?? A new character arrives! His name is Likelangelo and he's an awful painter and a real master-of-none of a Specialist. Still, more bodies is almost always good!

- The cell they open is full of midges which fly out and bite people's eyes, it's nasty. Sulfur huffs a Last Breath and sends in a skeleton (name of Gnasher). A grey pseudopod reaches out from under the bed and melts straight through Gnasher's ribcage!

- They close the door. Leave that one as-is, they reckon. Good thing it bars from the outside.

--- Wake Up Dead Man

- They find a net under the bed of the last room in this arm of the prison, and go to the other side which has (get this) more prison doors barred from this side. Manrat sends rats to scout, some return.

- Sulfur sends a skeleton into one of the rooms and it reports that there's a guy in there. Sulfur enters himself, still speaking with the Voice of the Dead, and talks to the shrivelled husk of a man that unfolds itself from the straw pallet.

- The shrivelled man is happy to speak to another with the Voice, and says he'll let everyone leave if Sulfur leaves him a skeleton. Sulfur isn't putting up with that! Necromancer battle!
- Faster than Sulfur can blink, the man is RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM and reaches out with a withered hand, draining a level! He saves so thankfully it only lasts 10 minutes, but he is suddenly filled with fear!

- Sulfur tries out Black Blood Baptism for the first time, punching the withered wight in the stomach and sending black viscera pouring out. It covers Sulfur's entire body in midnight vantablack, grants him a mighty amount of HP, and gives him a draining touch! Alas, there are downsides, like eventually turning into a ghoul if you don't drown yourself in bodily fluids within a few days. Sulfur notes that this is bullshit.

- They trade blows, Manrat contributing nothing of note with Sulfur's rune-hammer, until Sulfur hits the wight with a Confetti Punch and explodes it into confetti! He is surprised himself, that was only supposed to blow a bloody limb off!

- They loot the bed, finding jewels, and Manrat besets Sulfur with a horde of 60 rats which lick and spit all over him. Spit is a bodily fluid, you see, so the black blood washes off under a tide of rat-spit.

--- Our Big New Best Friend

- Minor loot is found in empty rooms until one door bumps into something. It's a massive corpse stitched together from multiple corpses. It's a goddamn Frankenstein! You might be about to say "Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster" but I counter with the fact that Victor was indeed the true monster in the end.

- It rears up when Likelangelo pokes it with a stick, but Sulfur is there! He still speaks with the Voice of the Dead and subjugates the giant zombie, who he names Ezekiel.

--- Urn Your Keep

- In the final room they come upon a huge urn with a big skull on it. Very goth.

- Sulfur speaks with the entity within... it's Gryphon's auntie Mildred! She says that she will grant three wishes to whoever opens the urn. This seems unlikely, so they get Ezekiel to hoik it onto (and, due to a flap of skin, into) his back to use it as a bioweapon. Or I guess in this case necroweapon.
- There were an ungodly number of urn puns which I will not record here on mental health grounds.

--- Highway to the Flavour Cube

- They leave the dungeon into the "fresh" air of the Drudge Wastes to shake off the cobwebs, cook a meal, and reset the Underclock.
- The air is beset by a Melancholy Mist, bringing a sense of sadness and longing. Bushes swell with fat berries, which Manrat warns them away from. They fill you up, but hollow you out emotionally.
- He then sets up the cooking equipment and with a noxious mix of Lard, Mushroom, Bread, Watermelon and Rat he creates "Gryphon's Flavour Cube". All who smell it gag, all who eat it immediately vomit all over the floor. Good thing that Manrat has cleverly named it after Gryphon so future generations will blame him instead.

--- Pressure

- The next day Likelangelo is still feeling rough (and his player is pooped from jetlag) so stays at the camp while the other two venture back into the broken castle. They've got Sulfur's coterie of Dead with them so it's not as foolish as it sounds.
- They open a large set of double doors carved with the nine-pointed symbol of Nonanism. They haven't tried it before, and within is a large space with robes hung up on the far wall.

- Suspiciously, the floor drops very subtly when stepped upon. They quickly jump back and consider. It's not rocking, it's all pressing down at once like a big pressure plate. It resets back up when they jump off. Hmmm.

- Sulfur sends out a skeleton to the big set of similarly carved doors across the room. Nothing happens when the floor depresses, and it reports back that there's nothing in the next room.

- They surmise that it's a pressure plate that responds to too much weight at once, so they carefully leave the minions behind and investigate the robe rack. There are nine robes, one per deity, and a Nonanist symbol in the pocket of one of the robes which has a holy lustre.

- Manrat takes the symbol and the Alaunus robe (since Alaunus is at Zenith) and heads through the next doors into a dark and gloomy church.

--- Worshippers

- A voice cries out from the darkness, "who goes there? Do you worship the foolish 'Gods' of this planet?"

- Manrat reveals that he's a Denialist and shares their dismissal of the Nine as false gods. This intrigues the voice, and it sends out a sister to frisk Manrat. She emerges from behind one of the grand pillars, wearing fake red elf ears and with red facepaint. 

- Before she can get close, Manrat pulls out his Martian Bible and declares that he is in fact a worshipper of the Red Elves too! The voice approves, but the sister frisks him anyway. She pulls back in shock when she sees what he's wearing under his robe - red plate armour of the Red Elves! He speaks the truth!

- He introduces Sulfur as a "recent convert" as the sisters and the Quislist priest who leads them light the torches in here. It's a large church, albeit recently graffitied with Red Elf propaganda.

- The priest offers them a sermon, food, and shelter. Quislism is a new religion, we must help each other! He offers a 5-man bubble-tent that can only be used by Red Elf worshippers, which they sheepishly refuse. Instead they take the two-man tent and some cured Mushroom Goblin Cap flavoured with butter and lard.

- They also mention that they've heard a Bibliognost Elf is roaming around the dungeon wielding a magic sword. Manrat's ears prick up! He also sometimes hears the snapping of pincers in the ablution room next door, but doesn't know where from.

- Manrat and Sulfur declare that they must ablute and go in. It is nice in there. Nine-way fountain, toilet with running water, wardrobe, chest of drawers, some beds. Manrat finds a big silver Red Elf ear that would serve as a holy symbol too.

- They look around for a secret door and... OH NO! CLIFFHANGER! Half a dozen Shadows swarm out of the toilet and towards our heroes!

Total: 8000 exp

Foes:

- A wrinkled old wight (75 exp)

- A goddamn Frankenstein, subjugated (100 exp)

Total: 175 exp

Loot:

- A net

- Bread (5 exp)

- Mushrooms growing on said bread (5 exp)

- A garnet, emerald and amethyst each worth 500ob (1500 exp)
- Trinkets and gems worth 200ob (200 exp)

- Lard (5 exp)

- An urn containing Gryphon's auntie Mildred

- Nonanist Holy Symbol (100 exp)

- Cured goblin head (5 exp)
- Two-man tent

- Quislist Holy Symbol (100 exp)

Total: 1920 exp

OOC:

- Kitty the Chronicler (100 exp/level)

- Issy the Expedition Leader and Cartographer (200 exp/level)
- George the Vanguard and Chef (200 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 8 Ratman: 118217 (Level up at 224000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 5 Boo-gilist: 22311 (Level up at 36000)

- Issy / Likelangelo, Level 2 Specialist: 2771 (Level up at 3500)
*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!