Tuesday, 12 February 2019

Session 214 - Last March to Armageddon

Now! This is it! The last march of the dragons, and the battle for the fate of the world!
Everything comes to a head now, multiple forces clashing to take down the Tentacle and allow Ninhursag to dive in and deliver its poisonous payload!

POWERLAD achieves the ultimate power of the dragon! Snels discovers he's in a den of demons! Capitano Romantico is denied drugs! Sophia the Elf learns to drive!

Powerlad walks into the Risen HQ and speaks to the receptionist, "Hello, I'm looking for a bone?" "What a coincidence, so am I" she smiled from Powerlad and his Boney lass
- Carter's Fiction Fanatic

Session 214 - Last March to Armageddon

Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 24th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zenith: Minerva
Zodiac: Gemini

New Backstory:
- Sophia, the new Elf who is allegedly POWERLAD’s time-displaced progeny, had gained a position of prestige and power yet was betrayed, possibly by her gang of urchins? (+1 Con)

Treasure and Equipment:
- Adventurer’s Journal - detailed notes on the barrowmaze and counts as Book #152 - The Nature of Undeath (200 exp)
- Grey-green putty can mimic an object it’s smooshed over for an hour before reverting to putty form.
- A key to the Barrowmaze (100 exp)
- Marble of Ice-8, transforms a 20’ sphere of water into permanent ice.
Total: 300 exp

Enemies Defeated:
-
Total: 0 exp

Exploration:
- First party to enter New Moondin (500 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Events:
--- March Through the Dark
- In the pearly glow of POWERLAD’s witch-light, within a ossuary of ordered bone in the empty brain-case of a vast undead dragon, POWERLAD and Snels sleep. The whir of wings and discordant voices does little to breach their slumber. (50 exp)
- As they rest, the new Elf-child Sophia explores the dragon’s throat. The bones of a thousand thousand human skeletons have knitted around the dragon’s frame, forming grim grinning parodies of muscle and flesh. (50 exp)
- She travels down the throat, torch in hand, skeletons quiescent, and in the sepulchral clanking hollow of the dragon’s cavernous stomach she finds many abandoned things. (50 exp)
- The corpse of an adventurer yields a diary with detailed notes on the Barrowmaze and the nature of Undeath, another skeleton holds a now-useless key. Of keen interest are a ball of strange putty and a marble of cold ice in a small vial. (50 exp)
- She returns to the dragon’s skull, well satisfied. (50 exp)

--- Alongside the Earth Dragon
- POWERLAD and Snels awaken at dawn. The group find their dragon striding parallel to Ninhursag, mere miles away, and steadily closing in! (50 exp)
- From here they can see the domes of a town upon Ninhursag’s back between its wings - a new Moondin? - and the winged drakencult that swoop around its head and the poison-canister slung by great chains beneath its neck. (50 exp)
- As the sun rises, a small group of drakencult glide in to investigate this bone dragon that appeared overnight. POWERLAD flies up to the top of the skull to greet them. (50 exp)
- Their leader is Katsin, a gogamogic drakencultist! She’s ecstatic to meet POWERLAD - she’s both a fan of his books and a fan of his high priesthood! (50 exp)
- She’s real into the POWERLAD fandom and begins peppering POWERLAD with questions about plot holes, character inconsistencies, and unsatisfactorily resolved plot lines. The others look on in confusion, while POWERLAD does his best to answer them. (50 exp)
- They compare apocalypse plans, and POWERLAD reveals that he’s planning to go nova if shit goes down. Sophia looks sad. (50 exp)



- Basic idea - protect Ninhursag as it gets to the tentacle, tears a hole into it, then plummet down the hollow centre of the tentacle to deliver the omnipoison to the core. The party’s well-received upgrade is to clad Ninhursag in the undead dragon’s bones like armour! (50 exp)

--- Ride the Dragon
- With the help of Katsin and her squad, the party fly across the gap between the dragons and land in the town atop the dragon’s back! It’s a new Moondin alright, mostly made up of stone domes, although Japhet & Hirsch’s eye-tower managed to make it up here! (50 exp)
- Yes, it seems that everyone’s favourite demons and cultists from Moondin made it up to Ninhursag’s back. It’s much safer from the bugs and Dead up here, even though everyone knows they’ll need to drop off the dragon before it dives into the Earth. (50 exp)
- The stone homes are enmeshed in webs, giant spider-kids constantly scuttle past, carrying messages and items and repairing the web where it’s eaten away by NInhursag’s poisonous fumes. The entrances to the buildings are crammed with webs and Styx-brand filter-plants to keep the worst of the poison at bay. (50 exp)
- Also here is… Capitano Romantico. A new Romantico with a piratical streak who is conveniently already signed up to NInhursag’s Drakencult. The idea of nicknaming them the “Ninnies” is met with outrage from POWERLAD (50 exp)
- The party splits up to check in with various people and get ready for what seems to be building up to a final battle for the fate of the world. (50 exp)

--- Japhet and Hirsch scare Snels
- Snels wanders the shifting streets of New Moondin, searching blindly for anyone “near death” and shouting about eyes. Unfortunately only the strong have survived so far, and the populace is tough. They haven’t come this far to die now! (50 exp)
- His talk of eyes gets him directed to a tower of eyes, though of course Snels cannot see them. He smells… bird? And he can almost taste the alternating waves of pride and gluttony. (50 exp)
- A snooty voice greets him, mocking his blind prophet routine, then lets him inside. His brother, on his back, recites psalm 91:4. Snels lays a hand on his sword as he stumbles up the steps into an interior that smells of spice and roasting meat. (50 exp)
- A pair of voices speak to him, clearly amused by this blind prophet’s predicament. He mumbles something about his hatred for demons and, laughing, they tell him that they are indeed a demon! (50 exp)
- Snels goes into a rage and runs at them… into a wall. He gets thrown out of the tower by the bird butler and mocked by passers-by. (50 exp)



--- Julgoor’s got the goods
- POWERLAD arrives at the Honey Healing 4 U Megastore to see Julgoor. The place is large, but the actual ship is small. Like an Argos. Spiderkids make a whooshing sound as they open the sliding front doors. (50 exp)
- Julgoor himself is behind the counter, and he seems much healthier than when they last saw him. He has extra arms, and extra faces like a Hindu god. He’s excited to see POWERLAD, and offers him whatever he wants from the warehouse! (50 exp)



- He’s got the usual stuff, as well as some less common substances like Wave, Sight, and the ubiquitous Blood Honey. All on the house, of course. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD mentions that he’s got a friend who sweats Wave, and Julgoor asks if she’d be up for coming in and sweating for an hour or so. Might as well ask! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD obtains a bunch of Notcoke, snorts a cheeky line, and turns around to head out… before Capitan Romantico storms in! (50 exp)
- He tries to buy drugs, but unfortunately drugs are now the currency of New Moondin. No use in gold any more really. Without funds, he angrily storms out and tries to yell a bad Yelp review into the sky. (50 exp)
--- The Arboretum
- Sophia enters the Arboretum, a huge stone sphere that was originally the one created for Galaxy Johnson’s funeral way back when. The interior is packed with filter-plants, and she is soon discovered by the new Crystal Drakencult leader. (50 exp)
- Her name is Krystal Shattersby, and she is very mean. She insults Sophia and extorts a cookie from her before listening to what she has to say and calling for Stones. (50 exp)
- They chat about the plants and POWERLAD  for a bit before she starts to cry and he awkwardly shuffles off, leaving her alone in the Arboretum. (50 exp)
- Sophia wanders around a bit, then hides when the new Magman cult leader, Bernard Boris Quincy-Reynolds, looks around for her. (50 exp)
- She avoids him, thinking him creepy, and heads out into New Moondin’s main square. (50 exp)
--- POWERLAD smashes a Necromancer
- POWERLAD visits the Rebel Dead HQ in search of an undead to punch and smash, since killing something that lives but doesn’t breathe is Ninhursag’s thing. (50 exp)
- He’s a little bit coked up, and the lithe black-hooded secretary has had enough requests to “borrow” a skeleton in the past few months that she denies any drakencultist from smashing one and ruining the dwindling merchandise. (50 exp)
- She is, however, a fan… notcoked up as he us, POWERLAD makes a rash decision when she offers to let him smash something else… (50 exp)
- They enter a back room, and great thuds soon begin shaking the desk. A legless dictation-skeleton tumbles and shatters on the floor. That counts! (50 exp)
- A Turn or two later POWERLAD emerges from the staff only door, while the secretary stumbles over to her chair and sits back down. She tries to pat down her hair that’s standing up with static, and sparks flutter from her fingertips. She winks at POWERLAD and smiles lazily, biting her lip. (50 exp)

--- POWERLAD attains ultimate dragon power
- The party meet up again in the main square, and head into the drakencult’s huge stone arboretum. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD is there, meeting up with his Gogamogic drakencult! They are all huge muscly bodybuilder types! (50 exp)
- He meets up with drakencult leader, Garlock Beendigung, who is VERY LOUD! A crowd has gathered to see POWERLAD as he declares the new plan - New Moondin will be dropped here, the Dragon will be encased in Bone Armour, and they will take Ninhursag to the tentacle and destroy it forevermore! (50 exp)
- Also, if necessary, POWERLAD will become a dragon to clear the path. Good news, this is the plan of the other high priests! They're going to apotheosise and defend Ninhursag during its march. (50 exp)
- Garlock goes to Ninhursag's head to dream peace into it, calming it so it won't freak out when the bone dragon becomes its armour. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD heads out to the main square outside the arboretum, seeing the stone spheres beginning to get lashed to plants and webs ready to be dropped. He kneels down to pray. (50 exp)
- With a great surge of energy, Ninhursag grants POWERLAD the final level of power! Drakencult level 12 - Apotheosis Ultimate - the ability to become an Elemental Dragon at will! (50 exp)



--- Last March to Armageddon
- POWERLAD and the other High Priests of the Drakencult gather upon the broad scaly head of Ninhursag, wind whipping through POWERLAD’s golden hair. They see Garlock who meditates upon the great Earth Rune upon its forehead. (50 exp)



- Snels the Blind Prophet is with them, contemplating the dark future he’s foreseen. He is shirtless, revealing his body covered in gnarly crucifix tattoos. (50 exp)



- Before them, writhing tall and cancerous, is the Prime Tentacle. It is sick, gobbets of flesh falling from its flanks, imperfect regeneration surrounding it with flailing half-formed limbs. Fat maggots dribble from it like rain. (50 exp)
- In the sky close by, out of the Tentacle’s reach, Ereshkigal looms. It is surrounded by winged shapes, the purple-black gravity well above its open mouth forming a swirling stormcloud of stolen weather. (50 exp)



- Above, full and pale and nightmarishly close, the moon looms grotesquely above the planet. Descending to reunite with the planet after aeons of separation. (50 exp)
- Behind them, New Moondin drops from Ninhursag’s back by web and by vine and by crystalline wing, dangling from its flanks and dropping when the Dragon passes over the dead town of Underall. (50 exp)
- Underall is a perfect place to hide a last bastion of humanity. They find it an empty last bastion of survivalists, hidden in the hills. They are all dead now, taken by Locusts in the night, but their thick walls and ample supplies will see the citizens of New Moondin through the weeks and months to come. (50 exp)
- Ninhursag strides onwards, the bone dragon coming alongside. The priests keep the Apocalypse Dragon’s focus on the tentacle as the bones and skeleton-flesh of the bone dragon crawl over like armour. The bone dragon’s jaws are hinged open, cradling the head of Ninhursag like a snake. (50 exp)



- Cryus-RJ stands atop the bone dragon’s skull, holding the golden monstrance aloft. The Ossuary of All Bones is encased within the empty braincase - the head of Ninhursag is now the central headquarters for two armies. (50 ex)
- Swinging below Ninhursag’s neck is the vast hollow stone filled with omnipoison - the poison that can destroy Shub-Niggurath forever. The poison-researchers work to improve it even now. (50 exp)
- And far below on the surface of the Earth, speeding away unnoticed against the scale of the dragons merging above, Sophia and Capitano Romantico slip off in a Guber towards Fortress-City Fate. (50 exp)
- They speed over the dying land. As they get closer to the walking city they see fast shapes speeding towards them - a shining army in burnished armour, mounted on Gubers. (50 exp)
- The figures on board salute as they whoosh past towards the final battle, armed with guns and with runes and with lances, surging towards the End War to decide the fate of the world. (50 exp)



Total: 2900 exp

Misc:
- Coitus boners (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Pacifism bonus (500 exp)
Total: 600 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Sepulchre - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Sepulchre - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp) - Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Guard (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp) - Tracker (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)- Art Attack (Carter, Jorjj, Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d’Arte (Jjj’j - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Charles - 500 exp ea.)
Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
-
Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 162048 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 12 (-60% exp) 
- George / Oliver Snels, Level 5 Barbarian: 28946 (Level up at 32000)
- Charles, ??? Romantica, Level 5 Barbarian: 17882 (Level up at 32000)
- Carter / Sophia, Level 2 Elf (Brackenfrau): 5417 (Level up at 6000)

Absent or Retired:
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 53712 (Level up at 72000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp) 
- Timothy / Galaxy RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 42488 (Level up at 72000)
- James / Abhor Global, Level 6 Extras: 25443 (Level up at 48000)
- (Styx's Disciples)
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)  
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)   
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)

-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

Tuesday, 5 February 2019

Session 213 - Battle for the Bone Dragon!

One hell of a session! Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus defeated, the Ossuary of All Bones claimed, and Galaxy-RJ able to use it!
As the dragons converge on the prime tentacle, we march towards a massive battle for the fate of the world. Fuck yea!


Cool Opening Monologue™
You stand upon the titanic fleshless skull of the undead Apocalypse Dragon.
You can see the gaseous forms of Cyrus and Galaxy RJ rising upwards, framed by the full moon.
There is a strange moment of stillness.
The night is cold and bright. Clouds drift across the sky, pulled in towards the great black dragon Ereshkigal. They swirl around the gravity well, a whirlpool in the sky.
The moon looms hugely overhead. It is close now. Far too close.
You can see the blood-red ocean crashing madly against the shore, desperate to reach the moon. The shoreline is torn to shreds, scattered with the shattered corpses of a thousand vessels. When the swirling wind blows from the south, you can almost smell the rotting slurry of long-dead fish that coats the coast.

Several miles away, moving ponderously eastwards, the huge shape of Ninhursag strides towards the Prime Tentacle. Hanging below its jaw, attached by vines, is a great stone cylinder. Green-winged drakencult swoop around it, fine-tuning its poisonous payload.

Beyond, on the horizon, the spiderlike silhouette of Fortress-City Fate crawls towards Mt Death Frost.
The angel above spins slowly, keeping pace.

And north, as always, the crawling blackness blossoms from the Black Sun, erasing the stars and turning the world to perfect night.

The wind howls. Above, a cloud of bats coalesces into a humanoid shape and begins to fall towards you.
What do you do?


Session 213 - Battle for the Bone Dragon!

Campaign Date:
Saturday, 21th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Full Moon
Zenith: Oberon
Zodiac: Gemini

New Character:
- An elf-child who claims to have a strange link to POWERLAD’s future...

New Backstory:
- Xe Romantique, the nonbinary allegedly “original” sibling of the Romantico line, was kicked into a hole byher jealous brother until they decided on their gender. They didn’t. (If you fall, you get an extra Climb check to grab an edge or convenient handhold partway down)



- Sepulchre had a surprising run of good luck as a con artist, right up until the point where he had to let his wife die in order to save his daughter. (After you fail a roll, +1 to your next roll)



- When Snels’ brother fell into the Impound of Flesh and all seemed lost, Snels did everything he could to save him. (One time only, survive the results of cataclysmic failure)
- Galaxy RJ had a terrible birthday when he was abandoned on Earth by his alien half-cousin. (On this date every game year, and every real year, and on the week of your real birthday - an NPC of your choice shows up)

Treasure and Equipment:
- The Ossuary of All Bones (10000 exp)
Total: 10000 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus (1500 exp)
- The bat-man Parallax Vim (250 exp)
Total: 1750 exp

Exploration:
-
Total: 0 exp

Events:
- We begin with a Cool Opening Monologue™. Such scene setting. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD is in the air. Sepulchre is on the big rune on the dragon’s skull. Others are further down the spine, waiting for whatever’s coming next. (50 exp)
- La Romantica "dies" of a long fall, new Romantico-spawn Xe Romantique had just finished climbing up the dragon to kill her in revenge for stealing her identity! Dang! (50 exp)



--- Sepulchre does the exact opposite of what you do before a boss battle
- We zoom in to Sepulchre who is attempting to commune with the long-dead soul of the titanic undead Apocalypse Dragon. (50 exp)
- He draws the Dragon’s X-shaped rune upon its forehead and his own in his own blood, presses his forehead to the centre of the dragon’s rune, and says, “Blood to bone, spirit to spirit, hear me Dragon. I offer my soul as your vessel. My heart as your engine, to rebuild what has broken and resurrect what has fallen. A shelter for power, a service for obedience, give me the last of your essence, make my spirit your home.” (50 exp)
- There is a hush. He hears a voice that tells him to spill his blood upon the rune to gain the dragon’s power! (50 exp)
- While suspicious for tricks, the chance that this works is too high! He carefully opens a vein and lets the blood flow out, bringing himself quite close to death. (50 exp)



- He talks to the ghost horse and tries something similar as it nervously laps at his blood. The same voice says “Yes give me your blood master, I love you sooo much” and then starts laughing. (50 exp)
- Crawling over the edge of the dragon skull, still laughing, is a man with bat wing arms and a couple of knives, one black one white. He’s pretty pleased with himself for his great trick! (50 exp)
- A humanoid shape falls onto the skull from above, bursts into gas, and reforms into the armoured form of Cyrus Carnithrex Maximus! Vampire Lord of the Duvan’Ku, armoured in Roman bronze and armed with a gladius, dark lord of the Dead! (50 exp)
- Cyrus and Parallax Vim his bat-man batman mock Sepulchre together, but suddenly… (50 exp)

--- POWERLAD does exactly what you say the hero should do when the villain starts monologuing before a boss battle
- POWERLAD folds his wings in and drops from above, taking in a big breath of air! Simultaneously, Sepulchre’s strange bargain triggers, and the dragon’s head is suddenly surrounded by a sphere of impossible vaccuum. (50 exp)



- He breathes out, his Size Breath blasting out at Cyrus. Cyrus shrinks in the blast, the sudden size change hurting him greatly! “Now he’s Cyrus Minimus”. Nice. (50 exp)
- Inside the vacuum field you cannot breathe, but you can speak and POWERLAD’s wings do support his weight which is sad because POWERLAD blew his Featherfall on the way down just in case. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris approaches the shimmering edge of the field and tries to huff it to get high, but it doesn’t work and she’s harmed as her lungs suck against weird nothingness. (50 exp)
- Snels and Xe Romantique hold their breaths and run into the field, hoping to do some damage in the few rounds they can hold their breaths for. (50 exp)
- Sepulchre’s ghost horse runs the fuck away, frightened by all the loud noises. Since it’s a ghost horse that can run up walls, it ends up whinnying on the Dragon’s chin. (50 exp)
- Parallax Vim the bat-man dives at POWERLAD with his knives. They roll along the dragon’s skull, while Cyrus himself bursts into green gas and whooshes downwards towards the dragon’s jaw. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Parallax roll to the edge of the skull, evenly matched, and plunge down into the sky, There’s a couple of kilometres to fall from the skull of the skeleton of the god-dragon so they’re not dead yet! (50 exp)
- Parallax is horrified to discover that he’s fighting the legendary POWERLAD, and POWERLAD realises that the bat-man is part of Ninhursag’s drakencult as they fall. Byeee! (50 exp)

--- Romantique goes full Barbarian
- Hearing Cyrus shouting commands from between the Dragon’s jaws, Xe Romantique leaps and slides Tarzan-style, down one of the Dragon’s downward-curving horn. They leap from the tip of the horn and grapple Cyrus who stands clinging to a huge tooth. (50 exp)




- They burst into a Rage as soon as they hit, swelling their muscles and filling them with murderous POWER! Cyrus is no match for their incredible strength! (50 exp)
- The wrestlers roll across the lower jaw of the undead Dragon. Xe Romantique wrenches the monstrance out of his hand and chucks it away where it lands dangerously close to the gap in the Dragon’s mandible. (50 exp)
- As they wrestle, Xe Romantique realises that the inside of the bone Dragon’s mouth is a mass of skeletons, filling the space inside its skull. Gnarly. (50 exp)
- Snels reaches Sepulchre’s near-corpse and starts dragging him out of the anti-breathing field by his collar, saving his life! (50 exp)

--- Sepulchre’s Deadly Stunt
- lol jk. Sepulchre tears himself free and pushes Snels away, grapple-hooks a rope around the Dragon’s horn,and swings (50 exp)



- He traces a glorious arc! Over the horn, under the jaw, through the hole in the mandible, grabbing the golden monstrance, looping round a tooth, and landing, incredibly, on the ghost horse! (50 exp)
- There is a moment of awe as all witness this incredible feat. (50 exp)
- Then the horse is off, galloping away towards the spine! Sepulchre is bleeding profusely, losing consciousness, barely holding onto the monstrance!  (50 exp)
- Cyrus and Xe Romantique continue to grapple, Cyrus’ small size putting him at a significant disadvantage. Xe Romantique lifts the toddler-sized vampire lord into the air and rams him against the sharp point of the inwardly-curved tooth. (50 exp)
- The inside of the dragon’s skull is full of walking skeletons. A bunch of them crawl out from the mass of bones inside the skull and clank over to defend their vampire master from Xe Romantique’s untender ministrations. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD and Parallax Vim, still falling, argue about not fighting each other. POWERLAD tires of the conversation and finishes off speaking with a Web Punch which ties up the Bat-man’s wings and sends him plummeting to the ground. (50 exp)
- Looking down, POWERLAD sees a sea of skeletons. He sees hundreds of skeletons climbing the undead Dragon’s legs, knitting together to form a parody of musculature. (50 exp)

--- Goblins lose their chains
- A barely conscious Sepulchre hangs upside-down from the ghost horse, golden monstrance dangling limply from his hand. The horse charges madly down the Dragon’s spine to safety. (50 exp)
- Snels hears him coming and yells to his seeing-eye goblins to lower him on their chains to let him grab the monstrance as it goes past! He leaps from the dragon’s spine… (50 exp)
- ...and hears, distantly, “we have nothing to break but our chains, brothers!”. Snels plummets from the Dragon, trailing abandoned chains, as his brother intones relevant psalms on his back. (50 exp)





--- Dumbledorris grabs the baton
- Dumbledorris debates whether she can mirror-copy beings larger and/or more distant than herself (no) before swinging upside-down and yoinking the monstrance as Sepulchre and the horse gallop past. Score! (50 exp)



- She holds the monstrance aloft and cries out for all undead to heed her words!... But without the voice of the dead they cannot hear her. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD, a kilometre below the Dragon’s skull, sees Sepulchre and Snels’ plight. He gives a single powerful surge of his wings, sending himself skywards, then lets the momentum carry him in an arc through the air. (50 exp)
- As he comes into the peak of his arc he charges his Beam Life beam, allowing himself to fall and aim it in Sepulchre’s general direction. (50 exp)
- Falling in a graceful arc he aims the beam and distant Sepulchre. Just in time to see him die. (50 exp)

--- Sepulchre dies
- Trailing a waterfall of blood, Sepulchre’s mind goes blank. He can almost sense another rider coming close to his flank. He looks aside and sees the peaceful face of death riding with him. (50 exp)
- The horse rides on and on, down the spine, into forever. (50 exp)
- Sepulchre opens his flaming eyes. The spine of the Dragon stretches onwards. The world rushes ast overhead. He is the ghost horse, and the ghost horse is him. The Nightmare gallops onwards, leaving this cruel world behind. (50 exp)

--- Snels is saved
- POWERLAD lets the Beam Life rune fade and lets himself continue to fall. He couldn’t save Sepulchre, but at least he can save Snels! (50 exp)
- Snels falls, trailing chains, and feels strong arms wrap around him! POWERLAD stretches his wings and bears them both back upwards. The goblins are long gone. (50 exp)
--- Cyrus is killed!
- The undead dragon raises its head skywards, making everyone on top of it hold on for dear life! (50 exp)
- In its mouth Cyrus, still child-sized, struggles to explain to Xe Romantique his plan to use the undead dragon to take down Ereshkigal, preventing the moon from falling and giving Ninhursag the opening it needs to plunge into the world’s core. (50 exp)
- Xe Romantique is in a rage so doesn’t give a shit. They stab him over and over until he explodes! His body bursts into a cloud of green mist, leaving his itty bitty armour and gladius behind. (50 exp)
- Below, POWERLAD sees the gas flowing from the dragon’s jaw as it raises its huge head, then sees it coalesce into a cloud that drifts off towards the north-east and Mt Death Frost. (50 exp)
- The dragon swings its head, Xe Romantique holds onto a tooth for dear life while the skeletons that were attaching them lose their footing and fall towards the distant earth. (50 exp)

--- Cyrus returns?!
- Suddenly Cyrus emerges from a cloud of green mist next to Dumbledorris! She is briefly shocked before he reveals himself to be Galaxy RJ! (50 exp)



- Since he’s still got the form and abilities of Cyrus, he speaks with the voice of the Dead! Holding the monstrance aloft, he commands the great dragon to… dance! (50 exp)
- The undead dragon halts. It begins to shuffle in place! (50 exp)
- Galaxy RJ commands it to wait until it’s voltron’d with all the skeletons forming its new bone body, then head over to defend Ninhursag as it makes the journey towards the prime tentacle. (50 exp)
- Snels starts making a real nasty meal from cheese, garlic, lard and spit for everyone. Much appreciated I'm sure. (50 exp)


--- The fifth trumpet sounds!
- In the distance, the wave of blossoming blackness bursting from the black sun rushes closer and closer. From atop the dragon’s skull, they can see a bow-wave of white flecks breaking before it. The maggots are bursting from the ground as it approaches. (50 exp)
- The haunting howling air-raid siren sound of the ophanim overhead rings out. Wooooooe! Wooooooe! Those who know of such things hear the words in Angelic Binary - “Prophecy confirmed - Trumpet sounded”. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris thinks back to her bible and tells everyone - “locusts!” (50 exp)
- They head down into the skull of the bone dragon to wait out the impossible night. Inside, they realise that  the inside of its head is the true Ossuary of All Bones - the monstrance is a focus for the deathly energies. (50 exp)



- POWERLAD sets a Continual Light inside the dragon’s skull and Cyrus-RJ places the monstrance back in its rightful place within the Ossuary, There they wait until the blackness rushes past, creating the now-familiar effect of a bubble of light surrounded by impenetrable dark. (50 exp)
- It’s not long before they hear the whirring of wings all around. With the wings comes a discordant singing, each voice a single pitch, mixing into a tuneless screaming cacophony. They are out there in the dark, whatever they are. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD’s heartbeat vision reveals a glowing, fizzing, whirring vision like green tv static… until he realises that what he’s truly seeing are the circulatory systems of a million flying creatures, whizzing around and past each other, as far as he can see. (50 exp)
- Just then, seemingly out of nowhere, a small child climbs up into the dragon’s skull! She just managed to get in! (50 exp)
- She asks POWERLAD if he’s POWERLAD and refers to someone called “Mama Bertha” then makes cryptic references to time travel. Who could she be?!
- Hunkered down inside the skull, they feel the dragon begin to move. The dragon’s head turns, deep vibrations marking its titanic footfalls. The party tries to rest, inside the skull of an apocalypse dragon, while the world ends around them. (50 exp)
Total: 3250 exp

Misc:
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
Total: 850 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Sepulchre - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / ??? - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Romantique - 100 exp)
- Guard (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)
- Tracker (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)
- Art Attack (Carter, Timothy, Charles - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza (Charles - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty, Charles - 500 exp ea.) - Death's Witness bonus (All others - 100 exp) - An Hero bonus (Carter - 200 exp) - Noble Sacrifice bonus (Carter - 1000 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Sepulchre slashed his own wrists and bled out in an attempt to summon forth the soul of a dead dragon... but not before snatching the Ossuary of All Bones in an insane stunt involving a grappling hook, a ghost horse, and the skull of an Apocalypse Dragon.
Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 160818 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp) 
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 53712 (Level up at 72000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 2 (-10% exp)  
- Timothy / Galaxy RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 42488 (Level up at 72000) 
- Jorge / Oliver Snels, Level 5 Barbarian: 27471 (Level up at 32000)
- Carter / Sepulchre, Level 5 Fighter: 20056 (Level up at 32000)
*DECEASED*
- Charles, ??? Romantica, Level 5 Barbarian: 16607 (Level up at 32000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian abilities! +backstory!
- Carter / Carter's Elf, Level 2 Elf (Brackenfrau): 4042 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 L1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:
- James / Abhor Global, Level 6 Extras: 25443 (Level up at 48000) 
- (Styx's Disciples)
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)   
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000) 
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)    
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp) 
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)