Tuesday, 5 December 2023

Session 361 - Grogg's Near Death Experience

Date: 28 November

Moon: Waning Gibbous
Zenith: Alaunus





Events:

--- Greg Guzzled
- Deletion Snels looks upon Greg, the clanking Azoth refinery in the depths of Dwimmermount who was brought to life with Sydney's Animate Furnishings spell. He looks... hungry?
- Indeed, since Greg has been given life he is now technically a creature, and Inheritors eat creatures.
- Before Sydney's horrified eyes, Deletion and Grogg Greedy take big rocks and smash the poor clanking machine to pieces to "kill" it. The machine begs for its life, staring directly into Sydney's eyes. Sydney... looks away.
- Ten minutes of data-digestion later, and Deletion Snels now has a mechanical belly, pipes bending out of strange places. In that belly he can digest Azoth and turn it into more interesting things. Sydney consoles themself by at least marking down all the possible outcomes, from Alkahest to Panchrest.

--- Frog Despawn
- The team decide to go back into the frogman-infested waters of the rest of the level and see what happened to the iron summoning circle that originally let in the ocean. It was previously transmuted to magma by Sydney so they want to see if that wrecked it once it turned back.
- They go into the Goboblin room, open the doors to let the water in, and their bubble-helms slide over their heads so they can breathe! They swim unmolested through several waterlogged rooms and make their way to the frog chamber.
- They peek in... and the circle is broken! Several horrible four-eyed frog people are doing something to the ring, presumably repairing it. They debate what to do, until Sydney throws in an underwater Cloudkill spell!
- The frogs choke and die as the cloud drifts through the currents... and acid-burns the skins of the captured Dwarves chained to the wall! Sydney winces - they had forgotten about those Dwarves.
- Once the cloud has dissipated, Grogg and Deletion swim in to loot the room. They find a toad-made underwater Flash Bomb and a scroll of Speak With Locks written on fish-skin. The Dwarves were being kept alive by having their heads sealed in baroque metal spheres, so Grogg grabs one of those. It's got a tube that goes all the way down your throat, but it keeps you breathing.
- Sydney gets them all to get out of the room and activates the Decay rune they've drawn on the summoning ring, and another pointed at the hypnotic ceiling. It works! The metal degrades until it's non-functional, and the bright glowing paint on the ceiling loses its hypnotic lustre.

--- Statue Chase
- With the portal to the deep ocean disabled and the frogs guarding it destroyed, they decide that it's time to drain this dungeon!
- They head along an unexplored passage and find one that's guarded with a green symbol. The tiny porthole in the door shows that there's no water on the other side! Dry land!
- They open the door and SPLASH! They are thrown through by the force of the water! Grogg struggles to his feet and slams the door closed against the water pressure, impressively strong.
- There is a sound of downward-rushing water and the water level in this room quickly drops to ankle-height. The room itself is some sort of chapel, although the pews have been jostled into the walls by the water. At one end of the room, behind the pews, is a big blue curtain. At the other is a big statue of Dispater.
- Grogg touches the curtain and the statue booms "Stay away from the curtain! Stay away from the halls of lesser secrets!"
- Grogg pulls the curtain aside, revealing recently drenched stairs, and the statue animates! It's fast, and Grogg is rapidly pummelled by huge stone fists!
- He regrets his life choices and flees!
- The statue is too fast though, and quickly catches up to Grogg on the stairwell. It smashes Grogg right in the arm and something cracks in his arm! It hangs limply at his side, and in a last-ditch attempt to escape he throws the basket containing the dancing bone snake!
- Against the odds, it works! The statue and the bone snake are dancing together, giving him a chance to flee with his arm crunching strangely under the skin.
- Sydney catches up to him at the bottom of the stairs and heals him in time to prevent death. But where's Deletion?
- During the chase he managed to double back and find himself in the chapel where they started! He turns to see the statue returning, menacingly stalking towards him...
- Sydney thinks quickly - is Deletion Snels not at least part-object now? They snap-cast Call Object... and Deletion appears in their hand! Deletion starts to thank Sydney... and sees them having a cosmic seizure. When it ends Sydney finds that they are now wiser... but less intelligent and charismatic.

--- The Halls of Lesser Secrets
- With all that said and done they're now at least on a lower level. Grogg holds in sobs as he touches his tender arm. The water here is knee-high and bitterly cold, so it's good they've got their silver suits on.
- The walls here are punctuated by glass terrariums containing interesting plants. An androgynous and featureless statue is on a plinth. They approach it warily, but all that happens is it yells "Micma!". Nobody knows what Micma means though.
- Deletion, naturally, smashes the nearest terrarium and grabs whatever's inside. It's a tiny mushroom-headed goblin! He licks his lips.
- Grogg really looks pale, and Sydney remembers that he's got that Panchrest - allegedly a panacea for all ills - hidden in the medicine cabinet in his extradimensional flat.
- No time for that though! A horrible croaking comes from down the corridor, and a bevy of frog monsters hop towards the party!
- Sydney casts Sydney's Sudden Siege Engine and blasts a ballista bolt down the corridor! It nails two frogs and heavily wounds the other two!
- Deletion holds one off, resisting its poisonous bite, as Sydney digs deep and lets loose a Magic Missile! There is a Chaos Burst that only increases the power, adding fire! The frogs are all extremely dead.
- Low on Mana, Sydney at least casts Sydney's Safe Space a foot above the water level and heaves themself into the front door. Shouting down, they insist that any frog butchery be done outside the flat. It is mostly successful, and results in slightly fewer frog innards staining the doormat.

--- Frog's Legs
- Inside the flat, Sydney grabs the Panchrest from a secret place in the medicine cabinet. They're strangely reluctant to part with the vial of cure-all, but Grogg will need weeks of recovery otherwise unless he steals the "working arm" ability from some creature or other.
- They wipe the jelly onto Grogg's arm... and it works! The bone underneath begins to heal and reknit!
- In celebration, Grogg cooks up "Grogg's Frog". It's frog monster legs, deep-fried in olive oil, with a little fried neandergoblin to go on top. It's tasty! Also importantly, nobody gets sick from frog monster meat!



- Grogg examines the helmet he took from the dead Dwarf earlier. It's fully enclosed, the long frog-intestine tube ending with a strange anemone is intended to go down into the stomach.
- He breaks it off the helmet and swallows it down his throat. It's nauseating, but he can breathe with it! 

--- Secret Treasure
- The next morning, before heading back out, Sydney casts Blessing of the Nine on the others. Since it's Alaunus' week that's +2 to melee attacks for all!
- They explore, finding that the doors on this level are a sort of thick frosted glass that shifts to the side like a screen door. They slide shut on their own unless propped open.
- They can hear chittering beyond one such door and open that. The chittering stops, but they find four glass pillars holding up the ceiling of a circular room. Letters A, E, P and T are inscribed.
- The Rust Monster drops on them from above! Grogg Greedy level-drains it with his wight power, but its feelers brush against Snels' armour and begins to rust it! Deletion Snels retaliates with his carrion crawler tentacles to immediately stun it! 
- After a short debate, they kill it. Sydney carves out some of its head to experiment with. Grogg doesn't want the rust ability, so harvests it for rations.
- There is some experimentation with the pillars until Grogg spells PATE. It works! A secret side door opens, revealing a treasure room!

--- Treasure Even Though Charles Is Here!?
- Inside they find several chests, coffers, and similar treasure depositories!
- There's 4000ob in old money and 50 gold pieces of an ancient make.
- There are also some very racist ancient magical object. A bag created from a shrunken goblin head can tell you who a goblins' hobgoblin parent is. A dagger made from a blade clutched in a mummified goblin hand glows in goblin presence, might make you attack goblins even if you don't want to, and hurting a goblin does the same damage to its hobgoblin! Clearly artifacts of some sort of anti-goblin war.
- Well satisfied with the loot, we will return next week... with the Christmas Special!


Total: 8000 exp



Foes:
- 4 frog monsters (200 exp)
Total: 200 exp


Treasures:
-
4000 pre-apocalypse silver coins (4000 exp)
- 50 ancient gold coins (2500 exp)
- Goblin-Seeker Dagger
- Shrunken Goblin Head Bag
- Underwater Flash Bomb
- Scroll of Speak With Locks
- Breathing Anemone Tube Thing
Total: 6500 exp


OOC:
- Carter the Chronicler and Expedition Leader (200 exp)
- George the Cartogeorger and Vanguard (200 exp)
- Charles the Paymaster and Chef (200 exp)
- Art Attack (500 exp)
- AI Attack (500 exp)


Exp Totals:
- Carter / Sydney, Level 7 Magic-User: 104704 (Level up at 144000)
- George / Deletion Snels, Level 5 Cyber-Inheritor: 19695 (Level up at 36000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Capacity! +1 to Saves! +Backstory!
- Charles / Grogg Greedy, Level 4 Inheritor: 9644 (Level up at 18000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Capacity! +1 to Saves! +Backstory!

Tuesday, 28 November 2023

Session 360 - Sweet Sweet Azoth

Date: 21 November

Moon: Waxing Gibbous
Zenith: The Dead God


New Backstory:
- Deletion Snels met with the gods via secret uplink, they gave him their blessing to kill the false god Terms Termax. When you make a deal with an adversary, gain +1 on reaction rolls for the rest of the session.


Events:

--- Punching Drywall
- We begin in a familiar place - the waterlogged bowels of Dwimmermount. Deletion Snels is busy digesting a giant frog monster and gaining its ability to breathe underwater.
- Conveniently for all involved, Jojo is here with her Passwall spell! She heads past the globoblin and punches a hole straight through the wall, granting everyone access to the big lake of Azoth beyond!
- It's black and sparkly like the night sky, a wide lake of glugging black mercury. Of course they grab a bucketful!
- A strange greenish rainbow light starts building up deeper in the lake. They flee before the big lamprey-mouthed monster can get to them.

--- Experimental Machine
- They take this pure Azoth to the mysterious machine in a room of the dungeon. Sydney discovers that the pure stuff is almost actively neutral. Magic just slides right off.
- Various straws and bits unfurl from the machine and slurp from the bucket of Azoth, filling up the bowl! There is a big dial on the front with six settings, but it keeps reverting to the top option.
- It's taking ages. Sydney decides to animate the machine with their Animate Furnishings spell, and brings forth the gregarious soul of the machine! It explains that it's a bit broken, it can only consistently do Refined Azoth. Anything else is a bit of a pot luck.
- Since it's going to take a few more hours, Sydney summons their Safe Space and everyone troops into the flat to wait out the remainder. Spooky shadow stuff occurs out the front door.

--- Book Learnin'
- There's plenty of time to kill, so they hit the books! Sydney grabs out some wine and breadsticks, and everyone settles down to read through some stuff from the small library.
- Jojo discovers that there's an Azoth refinery in the Ninefold Cathedral (more or less the Vatican).
- Deletion reads that the Forest of Moondin is, indeed, still a forest.
- Sydney finds out that Panchrest, currently being generated by the machine, is a cure-all panacea! Very useful! Alkahest, by contrast, dissolves everything.
- Jojo is obsessed with the Ninefold Cathedral now. She reads that the Ennean Pope is protected by Cardinals, and buried in the Pope's balcony is a book of all demon names. Even better, there are demons imprisoned in the catacombs. Sounds like a Christmas Heist Special!
- Sydney is interested too, and finds out all about Nonanism. Those demons in the catacombs were worshipped as gods by foolish foreigners. When Nonanism came to town, it stole the "gods" away and replaced them with the real deal. The demons (and other such beings) were worshipped as Aspects of the Nine.

--- Panchrest Packed
- Christmas Special plan concocted, they head back out and see if the machine is done yet. It is! Sydney duly stores away the Panchrest in the fridge.
- They chuck another bit of Azoth into the machine and decide to explore the water level, long drowned by the mysterious frog men. Luckily they've all got silver suits that let them breathe!
- They open the hatch from the Globoblin room, flooding the place and causing the bubble-helms to slide over their heads. Sydney crafts a Beam-Ice rune to form icicle spears and they swim into the murk beyond...

--- Tick Tick Tick
- They swim under drowned ratmen, one of whom is clasping a mysterious idol in their cold dead hands. Snels wants it and grabs it... only to have something spike down through the ratman's body and into his hand!
- After a struggle, Snels manages to overturn the rat and drag whatever the spiky thing is into the cold water. It's a huge tick! It quickly freezes to death. Safe!
- Snels grabs the statue (he's earned it) and finds that it's a mysterious squamous statue of a horrible deep sea monstrosity. Dagon!
- Thankfully Snels has that Apostate Brooch that protects him from un-Saveable nonsense. He's fine!

--- Fear of Depths
- They explore further, heading through a temple to Dispater and onward to the room where the frogmen live! Conveniently enough, all magic shuts off for a few minutes as they arrive. The big pitted iron ring on the floor is deactivated!
- They see that across the room are a row of nude Dwarves, heads encased in big metal orbs, clearly being used to breed more of the frog people.
- Sydney tries out a Turn-Magma rune on the ring as it reactivates, revealing the infinite depths of the ocean below! Far far down it's like a city of frogspawn, and black tongues emerge from the portal...
- The Magma rune boils the water and the tentacles, but more emerge! It's a froggy doom portal! One of the tendrils catches Sydney, but luckily they escape by the skin of their Meta-Manipulation magic!
- An enormous froggy eye peers through the portal and our heroes flee back to the safety of the globoblin room! No eldritch horrors today thank you! 
- The refined Azoth is ready when they return, and Deletion takes a little sip. It feels good and he slops into a little puddle of happy jelly!

Total: 7000 exp


Treasure:
- Horrible deep sea idol (8000 exp)
Total: 8000 exp


Enemies:
- A big tick (20 exp)
- Several black tentacles (100 exp)
Total: 120 exp



Exp Totals:
- Carter / Sydney, Level 7 Magic-User: 99804 (Level up at 144000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 68724 (Level up at 72000)
- George / Deletion Snels, Level 4 Cyber-Inheritor: 14795 (Level up at 18000)









Tuesday, 14 November 2023

Session 359 - Down Where It's Wetter

Date: 7 November

Moon: Waning Crescent
Zenith: Minerva


New Backstory:
- Deletion Snels remembers back to his former incarnation. He was meant to be watching over his wife when she was murdered, and he took the blame. He left Chavsby in chains. If a henchman dies, +2 to Saves.
- Odo Grumblebelch is a member of a secret society in Mt Grumblebelch - the Followers of the Yawning Eye. Once per session, find a trustworthy society contact in any city.


Events:

--- Globoblin Mind Jelly
- We open outside the Globoblin room in the depths of Dwimmermount. The walls are smooth, the doors have submarine-hatch wheels. There is a smell of ozone and, from within the Globoblin room, fresh vegetation.
- The Globoblin itself is a big mass of green goblin bodies, jammed together and overgrown. Floating jellyfish-like mushrooms float about on vines, feeding from the leaking pipes.
- Deletion Snels deploys his own goblin from his digital flesh and sends it into the room, where its head is immediately glommed onto by a mushroom. From its goblin throat, a voice speaks...
- The Globoblins' name is Few. It is guarding this place from the deep sea, which has filled the chambers and corridors beyond. Beyond are the frogmen and they hate Globoblin blood.
- After some conversation about getting rid of the frogmen, it allows them to continue on! Odo grooms her beard into a Stowing Beard that keeps in oxygen, like a hairy helmet, and she opens the door...

--- Frogman!
- Cold ocean water blasts into the room, throwing Odo back! She struggles through the deluge and pulls the door shut, twisting the wheel closed. Beyond... in the flooded corridor... she sees a frogman swimming towards her...
- Odo thrusts her sword forward, warning it, then tosses it an apple. The apple spins through the water and a long tongue flicks out. It went for her instead!
- It sticks to the wall and starts to reel her in, so she charges instead with reckless Barbarian strength! It's an instant kill, sword scything through the water and cutting the frog in twain!
- Before the blood can reach her beard, a sphere shooms up around her head! The silver suit provides air!
- She swims back, dragging the frogman corpse behind. Weird white globules have attached to her suit.

--- Mindspeaker
- Before Deletion Snels can devour the corpse, the Globoblin gets there first! The mushroom-jellyfish descend, flensing and dissecting its flesh, feelers groping into its brain...
- One of the mushrooms keeps floating around the partys' various heads, poking a feeler towards the backs of the necks. After some arguing, Sydney takes the hit. A mushroom plops onto their head, and their mouth talks on its own...
- The Globoblin tells them what it gleaned from the frog man. It considered this dungeon to be an old forgotten outpost, it missed its family, and the portal to the deep sea cannot be sealed.

- Forward!
- They open the door once more and as the water is about to reach their necks the bubble-helm slides back over! There's an oxygen bar and mysterious text is superimposed against the walls. Sydney's slime familiar bobs along beside them, reading the ripples in the water. The water itself is cold and clear.
- They head left, having no map, and come to a larger chamber. The door to the left is inscribed with strange green symbols. Through the porthole window in the door, goes through to a huge cavern full of black liquid like a starry sky. Azoth! However, not their goal.
- Elsewhere in the room are lockers. They open one and a silvery shape swoops out!!!
- Oh, it's just more of these silver suits. Good to have though. Deletion Snels grabs a drowned goblin corpse he finds. There's also a cool locket which looks bland in real life, but projects an image of a lady in AR.

--- Mysterious Generator
- After experimenting with the doors to see if they can drain the rooms (they can't), Odo scouts ahead. She finds a map mosaic on the wall! Very nice. They fill up some more map.
- In another drowned room is a big cylindrical machine, whirring despite being underwater. Deletion and Sydney swim in. They throw the goblin into the grinding gears and... splat! It's torn to pieces!
- In another room, Odo dives through some sort of office. Papers float in the water, ink long smeared. Under a pile of these waterlogged books, she finds a mysterious rod with a knob on the end and an I/O button. Mysterious code streams across her vision, then minimises.
- She finds some more bits in here - a Holy Symbol of Eris and a vial of holy water. Not bad!

--- Thralls of the Frogmen
- Sydney's slime familiar whispers in their mind... something is coming through the water.
- They scatter about the generator room ready to ambush. They are all confused to see several people in silver suits swimming in! Odo pops out and fires a crossbow bolt, missing! A Dwarf at the front mimes something while one of the people at the rear starts casting a spell!
- There are a frantic few moments before our heroes decide to stand down and let the spell finish. A shockwave goes through the water. The bubble-helms slide open. They're still underwater... but they can breathe!
- The Dwarf is called Gromli and he's from Ur-Barakh. He tells the party that his arcology was doomed by the blood tide at the end of the world, until they were saved by the Deep Ones. Now he is thralled to S-3 Neurocentre X and does their bidding in exchange for life.
- They chat for a while. Gromli tells them that the silver suits only have enough air for an hour - they were built for emergencies only - before needing to be refilled. That's why he keeps this witch around to cast the breathing spell.
- Leaving in peace, for now, the party head back to the Globoblin room. Their air is running low.
- When they get back and close the door, the water starts draining down the pipes. It's a little airlock! Sydney carves Make-Air runes on coins for next time, and Odo checks them very thoroughly. She's heard the famous tale of Bohemund the Barbarian who carved a Make Magma rune instead of a Make Air rune and ended up melting his own head off.
- We leave it here for now, ready for the next excursion into the watery depths...

Total: 7000 exp


Enemies Defeated:
- A frogman (50 exp)
Total: 50 exp


Treasures Attained:
- Holy Symbol of Eris (704 ob)
- AR Locket (500 ob)
- Vial of holy water
- Mysterious I/O Rod
Total: 1204 exp


OOC:
-
Carter the Chronicler and Paymaster (200 exp)
- Tom the Expedition Leader and Chef (200 exp)
- George the Cartographer and Vanguard (200 exp)

Exp Totals:
- Carter / Sydney, Level 7 Magic-User: 94764 (Level up at 144000)
- Tom / Grumblebelch, Level 6 Dwarf: 35024 (Level up at 64000)
- George / Deletion Snels, Level 4 Cyber-Inheritor: 9755 (Level up at 18000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 MP! +1 Mutation Cap! +Backstory!


Tuesday, 7 November 2023

Session 358 - Lair of the Globoblins

Date: 17 October

Moon: Waxing Crescent
Zenith: Dispater


New Backstory:
- Deletion Snels remembers the time before he entered the digital world and emerged reborn as a sentient virus, the time he adventured into the cliffside caves of a race of flying elves, the time he... fucked a giant bat then ate it. +1 Charisma
- Grogg Greedy is in love with Odo Grumblebelch. His enormous neanderthal forehead throbs when he thinks of her. He is not very subtle. When Odo would be harmed, dive in the way and take double the damage instead.


Events:

--- Silver Suits
- They have made it down a dungeon level. The walls here are smooth and angular. This is not Dwarven architecture, to Odo's judging eye. More like whole areas of the mountain just vanished. The doors, such as they are, are circular submarine-style hatches.
- As they watch, a strange heat haze rises in the room. All magical effects are paused! The Inheritors are trapped in their current forms, and Aximander is banished to the recesses of Julian's mind!
- Odo has also just had a short fight with a tall statue, so gratefully wolfs down some leftovers from Julian's Tupper's Ware.
- Grogg Greedy looks upon Odo with open fascination. Julian notices a giant spider on the ceiling!... but it's just a moult. Odo identifies it with her Folio of Unusualle Craetures - it was a giant rhagodessa.
- Grogg, Julian, and Deletion Snels explore further as Odo chows down on a second helping, and find a whole shelf of silvery bodysuits. They've got a big ring that goes around the neck, but no helmet. Julian, Odo and Deletion put them on, but Sydney and Grogg just grab a couple for the road.
- As they all change into the new suits... they are literally caught with their pants down! More giant maggots have returned, with their flailing pain-poison tendrils!

--- Maggots Once More
- Julian clips on the neck piece just in time to turn and see the huge maggot flailing at him! He intentionally retreats into his consciousness, allowing Aximander to appear just in time to go "what the fuck is going on?!" and get flailed at! Thankfully the body suit is largely maggot-resistant, so he's barely poisoned.
- Meanwhile Grogg eats a crit, slapping his weapon out of his hands and burdening him with a whole bunch of paralysing venom! Sydney, regretting not putting on a suit, eats even more!
- Deletion,  who consumed one of these recently with his digital Inheritor powers, returns fire with the maggots' own attack! Unfortunately he's not well-versed in the art of wiggly venom tendrils and crits himself. Alas.
- Odo uses her also recently acquired power - Lay on Hands - to heal Sydney's poison. Sydney blesses everyone with Blessings of the Nine in recompense. Grogg uses his last strength to crit a maggot, slicing off its tendrils... then faints.
- Aximander slashes the remaining grub but faints from the stun poison, falling onto it. Odo flies into a rage and demolishes the maggot, making it deflate like a sad balloon. When Aximander's eyes open, he sees Odo scarfing down yet more leftovers. It makes her less angry at least!
- They discover that one of the grubs, the one that Grogg sliced the tendrils off, is actually still alive! He plops it into the wicker jar containing a bone-snake, hoping that they get along or something.
- There are two maggot corpses left behind, so Grogg and Deletion immediately set to work eating them. Grogg does this in the traditional way as a pool of mutating clay and blood and demonic organs, Deletion is more of a big wall of code. Grogg gains the poison venom attack and dangly fingers, Deletion gains their wall-climbing ability and a segmented body like a maggot.

--- Back into the Flat!
- With everyone a little worse for wear, Sydney opens up their Safe Space apartment and chivvies everyone inside to safety.
- Grogg, a cavemen, begins being rude and crude and trashing the place. Sydney is stressed once again.
- Sydney goes to shower while the others hang out in the kitchen. Deletion is cooking a meal!
- He uses a bunch of extremely dubious techniques to acquire olives and calls it "The Most Delicious Meal Ever Cooked". It's made of Olive oil, boar bacon, salt, olive, and fried banana.
- Alarmingly... it's good! Potentially due to the various superlative adjectives, or maybe just because it actually sounds nice.
- The cleanup results in a lot of oil going straight down the drain, vigorous cleaning resulting in deep stains to the upholstery, and various other equity-reducing impacts. Also, Odo uses the kitchen to fix everyone's gear - reforging in the oven, quenching in the sink, testing the edge on the wallpaper, etc.
- Sydney emerges from the shower and is, as always, absolutely horrified. They turn on their heel and go read in their bedroom. Turns out the book on Sky Tyrants isn't about Gods, but various creatures of the upper air that live in, on, and around clouds.

--- Disturbed Entrance
-
After a long sleep in the Safe Space, our heroes peek out of the door to find that a circle has been drawn around the front door. When Grogg steps over it, he hears a ringing in his ears. Rubbing out the circle stops that happening. Hmmm...
- Someone hails them from the doorway - it's a ratman! He was waiting to see if the mysterious door was full of friends or enemies.
- It transpires that the Ratmen help the "Globoblins" defend this area from the evil frogmen that lurk elsewhere on this level. Globoblin blood repels the frogmen, he says. The Ratman himself, called Sniksnak, also offers his services as a naturist cleaner to Sydney who would quite like a live-in cleaner.
- The "naturism" is too much. Grogg hires Sniksnak to follow Sydney around and make them uncomfortable though.

--- Hired Guide
- Pleased by the cash, Sniksnak gives the party a tour. Over there is a magic wall that blocks the way to a library. Over here is the weird machine that makes poison. And this way is the way to the frogmen!
- They defeat the magic wall and enter a "library" that is basically cool stuff on the walls and a record player. No records to see, unfortunately. Sydney is saddened, but tries Bookspeak anyway. No dice - it needs a disk.
- They mess with the "poison machine" and don't get much from depositing various stuff into it. The troubleshooting head has the solution - "needs Azoth".
- Another ratman shows up and berates his compatriot for hanging out with invaders. It also turns out that the "oil" that Grogg was licking off of wooden shards last session was... rat piss.

--- Licking the Azoth
- They poke their heads into the last room that leads to the frogmen and see a big mass of vegetation, vague shapes of goblins beneath the greenery. Feathery strings lead to floating jellyfish-like plants that have latched onto leaking pipes.
- Grogg thinks he knows what the black liquid in the pipes is... Azoth! He runs in and licks some of the fluid from an unjellyfished pipe... drawing the wrath of those creatures! He dodges back out before they can sting him!
- The Azoth courses through his system, pulsing through his demonic veins! Black goop begins to leak from his ears... but his head fills with spells! 
- He collapses against the wall outside, colours flashing through his vision, and we end for the night...

Total: 7000 exp


Enemies Defeated:
- Several corpse maggots (300 exp)

Total: 300 exp


Treasures Obtained:
- Several silvery suits
- 3 scrolls: Confusion, Shocking Grasp, Earth Cake.


OOC:
- Carter the Chronicler (+ bonus for noticing exp discrepancies...)
- Tom the Cartographer & Expedition Leader
- Kitty the Vanguard
- George the Chef


Exp Totals:
- Carter / Sydney, Level 7 Magic-User: 91812 (Level up at 144000)
- Kitty / Julian & Aximander, Level 6 Languid Wastrel: 43768 (Level up at 72000)
- Tom / Grumblebelch, Level 6 Dwarf: 32072 (Level up at 64000)
Level Up! +1d10 HP! +1 to Saves! +Lorebond! +Backstory!
- George / Deletion Snels, Level 3 Cyber-Inheritor: 6803 (Level up at 9000)
- Charles / Grogg Greedy, Level 3 Inheritor: 4744 (Level up at 9000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 MP! +1 Mutation! +Backstory!

















Tuesday, 17 October 2023

Session 357 - I'm-a Riiiiiiiiich!

Date: 10 October

Moon: Waning Crescent
Zenith: Eris


New Backstory:
- Shrub Jr was completely lost after a good night getting high on the moon. Eventually he managed to find his way to a chocolate factory and safety! +1 Bushcraft.



Events:

--- Afterparty
- Sydney wakes up on their bed in their extradimensional apartment, still sore from the pain poison that was injected into them by huge maggots with tentacle faces.
- They leave the room and see that the flat is... surprisingly fine! But why is everyone staring? Oh... they shaved of an eyebrow.
- Deletion Snels has long dangly fingers now - the gene-code that he absorbed from the tentacle maggots now allows him to slap enemies with poisonous wiggling!
- Aximander heads outside and casts Guiding Lights again, trying for "awe of finding a new living god" or similar. The lights float on!

--- Oil and Statues
- The lights drift onwards. The walls here are covered with reliefs of gambling, coins, and feats of daring. All honouring The Lady.
- They decide to check out a side room, and in it they find smashed and empty barrels with a thin oily residue. Shrub Jr grabs a shard and sucks on it - olive oil! He continues to suck on it as a treat.
- The next room has... olive oil in little jars! And a flitch of cured bacon! Shrub Jr insists that he prefers sucking olive oil off of wood scraps.
- They continue into a larger room with a headless statue. It's got the armour of a god they know - The Scorned. On neck is a sort of indented screw where a head might get screwed on!
- Odo attaches the stone Dwarf troubleshooting head and it animates against its will! It identifies its existence as a problem! Before it can do anything silly, Shrub Jr unscrews the head. In doing so, he notices that the statue is designed such that its costume can change. Probably god related.

--- The Chicken and the Crevasse
- The lights guide the party to a door, beyond which can be heard a low moaning. They open the door and see a crevasse, wind moaning as it blows out of the maw. The crevasse is filled with purple smoke. It smells like ozone.
- The Guiding Lights hover over the crevasse and wink out - clearly they considered this an appropriate target of "awe".
- Testing reveals that the purple smoke suspends magic when inhaled or moved through. Aximander tests the depth with his crab-spear to no avail - it's deeper than a spear-length.
- They tie a rope to Aximander and lower him into the mist. They hear screams! It's Julian, the human host of Aximander, unceremoniously dragged back to his body while inside the mist! He has no idea what's going on!
- Aximander reverts back into the body as he's lowered beyond the mist. He finds himself above a vast subterranean pool of pitch black starry liquid. He pokes his crab-spear into it... and the end of the spear melts away. Then he sees movement in the fluid, something large displacing the ooze as it comes towards him...
- He shrieks "pull me up!" and Julian glimpses a vast lamprey-mouth yawning wide just before he's pulled into the smoke!

--- The Floor is Mimic
- They decide to cross the chasm, and so to that end Aximander casts his spell Giant Cock. The large rooster that appears obeys his commands, and effortlessly leaps over the gap with the elf on his back and a rope in his beak.
- The others shimmy across the rope and to the other side!
- As soon as they do... a slimy tendril emerges from below the ankle-high smoke on the floor...
- It goes for... Warm-Heart! Grumblebelch's Dwarven lackey! The crossbow is struck from his hands, melting away into nothing, and the Dwarf himself is flung down into the chasm! He screams as he falls, until they hear a crunchy sound that sounds exactly like a giant lamprey swallowing a Dwarf.
- Shrub Jr and Jojo uncork their Poison bottles - Bleed and Pain respectively - and dump them onto the pliant flesh of the ooze, then flee! The gang run after them, Jojo and Deletion Snels bickering about how fast they are based on what they're carrying. Jojo aggressively crams food into her mouth as she runs to save encumbrance.
- They escape!

--- I'm-a Riiiiiich!
- They burst into a room with a biiiig holy altar covered in gold and gems!
- Shrub Jr yells "I'm-a riiiiiiiiiiiiich!" and grabs the gems... and explodes!
- He takes 10d6 explosive holy damage and turns into a big pile of 21 fried bananas.

--- It Burns!
- Unfortunately for the many Chaotic characters in the midst, the air burns with lawful energies! Aximander uses elf trickery to count as Neutral. Grumblebelch's barbarian Lawfulness leaves her as the only person who actually feels a sense of peace in here.
- Odo places her Last Sword of a Conquered Tribe on the altar... scraping off little chunks of banana to do so... and feels her faith in Law renewed. She asks the Scorned for guidance and receives his blessing!
- She also grabs a roman shield from a statue and notices that the Dead God in the frieze on the wall can move aside. A secret door!
- Aximander casts Magic Aura on the chaotic members of the team, hiding them from the effects of this room, and they all head through the door.

--- Zombie King
- It's a short secret passage, ending in a painting with the eye holes cut out. The next room has a huge zombie on a throne, crown of bone on his head, roman armour on his body, being worshipped by a bunch of lesser zombies.
- Slopping down from the ceiling in the secret passage is... a new character! Grog Greedy, an Inheritor, who loots Shrub Jr's body and absorbs some of his banana powers. Seems like a trustworthy demon guy!
- Odo Grumblebelch, holding her roman shield in front of her, marches into the zombie room and declares herself part of the legion! Good thing she knows her classics, because the zombie king answers her in latin!
- It isn't the Dead God as Odo had presumed, but a Roman soldier who invaded Dwimmermount millenia ago. He was once a slave to the Halflings, then freed and joined the legions, before dying in the assault on the mountain. By the grace of the Nine, he was resurrected to maintain the worship of the Gods on this temple level.
- He offers directions downwards, being a reasonable fellow. He cannot go himself however - he can only leave on Sundays and every day is Tuesday for some reason.
- He also explains what he knows about Azoth, which accumulates in Dwimmermount. It saps magical energy in a gaseous form, accelerates evolution in liquid form, and can be refined into a variety of amazing things! Refined Azoth powered the Halfling superweapons - the Slaughtergrids - in centuries long past.
- He also warns them not to touch his precious treasures in the next room - he needs them for worship purposes - and warns of his pet wight which drains levels at a touch! Our heroes quake in fear.

--- Treasure!
- They go into the next room... and Odo uses her pick to spike the door shut! Within are four more zombies, guarding various coffers with a profile of Emperor Hadrian drawn on!
- The Zombie King next door can speak through these zombie puppets, but not much else. They are swiftly eliminated.
- Deletion Snels uses his finglonger powers to pick a lock, while the others are variously broken open. Inside is... much loot! Like legitimately good stuff! There's gems, old roman money, a crystal snowglobe with Dwimmermount in it. Nice stuff!

--- The Wight Stuff
- Knowing that there's a wight ahead, they make a cunning plan. New character Grogg Greedy will act as bait. Odo opens the door with her fishing rod.
- But... no wight.
- Odo sprints through while she's got the chance! She sprints through... and Grogg sees a textureless man-shape emerge spookily from the floor. It looks at Odo briefly... then comes straight for Grogg!
- He runs back to the rest of the party, wight at his heels!
- It travels through the floor, listening to the orders from the zombie head! Jojo goes to stomp the head... and the wight goes for her foot! She sacrifices her shield and flips backward... directly into Aximander's line of fire!
- She's hit, rolls, lands well, and strikes a counter-blow to the wight! It explodes into dust, one-shot-killed by a Magic Missile Punch!
- Grogg collapses into goo over the wight's "corpse", absorbing its level-draining power...

--- Odo's Solo Adventure
- Meanwhile, Odo has sprinted for the exit and grabbed some loose gems on the way! She's found the stairs down and runs for them and...
- A statue to the right of the stairway smashes her with a stone fist, stopping the Dwarf short! Odo's shield is splintered by the blow!
- It's a slugfest, Dwarf vs Statue. They smash each other back and forth with hammer-blows.
- Odo hits 0 and flies into a rage! She hits the statue over and over and over, finally shattering it into a million pieces.
- By the time the others catch up, Odo is bleeding and smiling crazily. She just about manages to snap out of her rage and grabs the old coins in the urn next to the stairs.
- Next time... downwards!

Total: 11000 exp


Foes Defeated:
- Mystery floor slime (100 exp)
- Four zombies (100 exp)
- A Wight (75 exp)
- A living statue (100 exp)
Total: 375 exp


Treasures Acquired:
- 6 bottles of olive oil (6 exp)
- Flitch of bacon (50 exp)
- 21 fried banana (21 exp)
- Bag of salt
- Crystal Snow Globe (1000 exp)
- Jewelled box (1000 exp)
- Eye agate (250 exp)
- Smoky quartz (500 exp)
- Jasper (500 exp)
- Turquoise (250 exp)
- Jade (3750 exp)
- 500 obols in loose gems (500 exp)
- 500 obols in old coins (500 exp)
Total: 8327 exp



Exp Totals:
- Carter / Sydney, Level 7 Magic-User: 89252 (Level up at 144000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 63684 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Julian & Aximander, Level 6 Languid Wastrel: 42208 (Level up at 72000)
- Tom / Grumblebelch, Level 5 Dwarf: 30412 (Level up at 32000)
- Charles / Shrub Jr, Level 2 Banana Brackling
DECEASED! Detonated by holy light after attempting to pry gems from an altar.
- George / Deletion Snels, Level 3 Cyber-Inheritor: 5243 (Level up at 9000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Limit! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Limit! +Backstory!
- Charles / Grogg Greedy, Level 2 Inheritor: 3284 (Level up at 4500)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Meat Point! +1 Mutation Limit! +Backstory!







Tuesday, 10 October 2023

Session 356 - Green Men of Dwimmermount

Date: 3 October

Moon: Waning Gibbous
Zenith: The Dead God


New Backstory:
- Julian shouldn't have kissed Aximander on that one drunken night... but he did it anyway! Making out with the other guy who lives in your body means they both made the first move! 
Special Double! Once per session, cause someone to make a romantic advance on you and +1 HD of health for the rest of the session if you successfully romance someone!


Events:

--- Mountain Shenanigans
- Our heroes are schlepping it up the outside slope of Dwimmermount, the legendary mountain where the Ninth God, Eris, is said to be buried. The enormous Seraphim on the summit is long gone, though the scars remain.
- Odo goes on and on about Dwarven microarchitecture, straining the patience of the others. Sydney has found ancient maps of the dungeon (as in Carter dug up the old maps from irl years ago).
- About halfway up they pass by a red door in the mountainside. 
Sydney figures that this must be the legendary Dwarven back door! It is not, but they try anyway. Speaking "mellon" causes a watermelon to appear! Speaking "friend" causes... Shrub Jr to appear! Yes, after all those months away he has finally returned! Since it's past summer our favourite banana man has lost his fruits, and is now a tangle of branches with autumnal colours.
- The runes on the door are written in the language of Ur-Kalladh, which several people can read! It's called the Alchemist's Door, and only opens on rare conjunctions.
- Undeterred by such things, Jojo punches the side of the mountain and uses Passwall! Alas, it's a portal, and so there's nothing behind that door. They continue.

--- Green Men
- The red double doors up top are covered with layers of oiled tarpaulins. Dropped frazzlejack and bootprints indicate squatters! They enter, setting off an alarm trap - a huge crash of metal as they slip past the tarps.
- Behind the tarps, hung near the entrance, they find breather masks and travel gear. Several masks are snagged!
- They go down the stairs inside. At the bottom, alerted by the crashing sound, is a bright green human man! He remarks that Odo is clearly wearing his gas mask, but doesn't seem to concerned.
- After a bit of banter, the man calls for his friends who emerge with net shields and padded spears. They're friendly! They offer to show the party the way down deeper. There are two routes, one that they don't use because it's where the gene wizard created their poison-resistant forms before going mad. The other goes down to the chapel level.
- On the way they go past a sermon. Most of the congregation aren't green, and the people giving the sermon are very wide Dwarves - or rather, stone-wrought almost-Dwarves called Inclusions - who have clearly integrated bits of angel into themselves! They say they're advancing their minds to the point that they'll become new Gods. Good luck I guess!
- They say that the lift is off limits due to an outbreak of horrible plants with horrible pollen. Since they are made of stone the Inclusions are fine. Anybody else, death and mind control. If you can get down to the bottom of the lift fourth floor and activate the purging system you'll be able to use the lift again.
- The party swap books with the Inclusions and continue on via a room with what look like old magical videos showing the invasion of Dwimmermount by victorious Romans a couple of millenia ago.

--- Terminators
- Down the stairs there are... roboskeletons! Their joints are hissing machinery, and their limbs contain various repair tools!
- The party charges in, slaying all but one of the skeletons... and who should that skeleton be but a Snels! This is Deletion Snels, the version of Snels that corrupted a false world in the mainframe of Fortress-City Fate, subjected it to the Third Impact, and escaped in a glitched body! He's an Inheritor, but one that uses computer code rather than flesh to copy powers!
- I had forgotten this whole sub-plot because it occurred on the moon.

--- A Wiggly Guy
- They snoop around looking for more doors, and note that the walls have bas reliefs of momento mori - skeletons dancing, skulls, bones, that sort of thing.
- Shrub Jr busts open a door and is confronted by... a wiggly guy! A snake made up of human bones dances out of a wicker pot! Shrub Jr does not care, shoves the snake back in, and sits on the lid. Then he straps it to his chest. 
- There's treasure in the room beyond too! Along with old coins and a golden goblet, there's an inverted and concave symbol of the Nine. Deletion Snels puts it on and becomes Apostate to all religions!

--- Guided by the Lights
- Aximander casts his now-classic Guiding Lights spell, and names "the emotion I'd feel if I found a God" which I interpret as some sort of fear-awe. The lights drift off in a direction, and they follow.
- They come to a large hall with six big pillars, each made of a different substance and each with a letter inscribed on it. Odo works it out first - they spell VERITA. He touches the pillars in order and gains a minor Lay on Hands!
- Sydney does the same and passes the save, losing a little HP but gaining the ability to cast Blessing of the Nine!
- Everybody else doesn't risk it. They follow the lights onwards.
- They pass by various scents, and some graffiti warning of "neandergoblins", whatever those are.

--- Maggots!
- While distracted by a room full of stacked-up wooden god statues... an attack from behind! Tentacles slap onto the backs of Sydney and Aximander, sending them painfully to the ground! The others turn and see a couple of enormous maggots, tentacles writhing from their faces!
- Sydney casts their Sudden Siege Engine spell and a ballista from another dimension splashes one of the maggots and heavily hurts the other! Something has gone awry though... the portal stays open... it's a portal to the End War! Through the portal they see an enormous bone dragon, and shiny soldiers in the shiny armour of the Shining Army of Fate march past towards the final battle!
- Sydney passes out from the poison. Odo is fascinated by the portal and throws a banana at one of the soldiers... but is then attacked by the surviving grub! It is said that the banana grew up to become Shrub Jr.
- Deletion jumps in the way so that it stuns him and he can detect its special move! It works! Aximander stabs it with his burning sword, slaying it, then passes out himself...
- Odo uses his newfound holy power to bring Aximander back to consciousness... but not Sydney alas.

--- Tasty Treats
- With the maggots dead, Deletion Snels immediately falls into a pool of data and starts absorbing the genetic code from a maggot. The others chop up the other maggot for food. Protein!
- Sydney briefly wakes up, casts Safe Space, and passes out again. They get hustled into the flat, maggot dragged along behind, and go straight to the kitchen!
- It's a jumble of fruit topped with fried maggot. It's absolutely superb! Aximander has outdone himself! Not only does it heal everyone up nicely, it also makes everyone run away from stuff faster! Lovely!
- We end there in relative safety, Sydney passed out on the bed, and everybody else being remarkably well behaved.

Total: 8000 exp


Enemies Defeated:
- A bunch of roboskeletrons (100 exp)
- A wiggly bone snake (50 exp)
- Two corpse maggots (200 exp)
Total: 350 exp


Treasures Claimed:
- 1200 obols in old money (1200 exp)
- Golden chalice (1000 exp)
- Apostate Brooch
- Wiggly Bone Snake in a pot.
Total: 2200 exp




Exp Totals:
- Carter / Sydney, Level 7 Magic-User: 85968 (Level up at 144000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 60400 (Level up at 72000)
- Kitty / Julian & Aximander, Level 6 Languid Wastrel: 38924 (Level up at 72000)
- Tom / Grumblebelch, Level 5 Dwarf: 27128 (Level up at 32000)
- Charles / Shrub Junior, Level 2 Banana Brackling: 3454 (Level up at 4000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +Backstory!
- George / Deletion Snels, Level 1 Cyber-Inheritor: 1959 (Level up at 2250)