Session 288 - After the Lockdown

Session 288 - After the Lockdown

New Characters:
- Police, a Halfling cop who stares at goats.
- Swan the Swift, an ex-torturer Barbarian with a very Norse aesthetic
- Astro Moon, a Muscle WIzard surface farmer with a very Magical Girl aesthetic.
- Iskander Fullbeard, a Fighter, trader and Forebearer who long survived the Wastes.

Events:

--- Groundhog Day
It's been Groundhog Day for a long time. In the morning the Powershell overhead bursts into fuzzing static, and everyone wakes up into the same day. At first few remembered the previous loops, doing proper Bill Murray Groundhog Day shit, but over time more and more people began to wake into the loop.
Extremely awkward for those early people though, when they suddenly discovered that their actions have consequences.
But today something is different. Something cracked through the dome overhead and crashed on the High Hill near town. Surprised and curious, a gang of new characters heads out to investigate...

--- The Gad and the Goat
- A motley band of adventurers sets out from New Moondin. It's not far to the High Hill, and this far into the loops they've all gone there countless times. Iskander is riding a bone horse and is followed by a skeleton porter. Everyone else has to walk.
- First they travel up past the Pod Farms. Little self-contained domes full of crops. Nobody works on them any more. It's pointless when the crops reset. They talk to a farmer who tells them as much, and Police takes some corn as evidence.
- There's not much of a trail up past the Gad Cliffs, but of course they know the way. There aren't many Elves in the cliffs any more, since they don't have to sleep it's easy for them to go live in the future. Tomorrow People of other species can get a few weeks away at best, but eventually even the biggest insomniacs run out of cocaine.
- To everyone's surprise, a Gad is here! Thin and long-limbed, with wrap-around eyes and shimmering gossamer sugar-glider wings. She calls out to Swan the Swift, who she remembers from a previous loop. She's called Silf and he's not quite sure when they met, since despite waking early on Day Zero he was one of the last people become conscious of the loop itself.
- She offers to guide them up to the High Hill, and on the way they see a goat! Police runs to mind-control it with his Halfling powers... and it conks him right in the head! They manage to subdue it despite its goatiness, and Police ties it to his back. After several attempts, he finally makes it his pet.



--- Back From the Old Days
- Atop the hill they find, still glowing, your previous characters! They crashed through the dome after a fight with Gifflewim to somehow undo the Lockdown. Unfortunately Gifflewim did something to their memories, because they were getting too good at getting to him between the loops.
- They all head back to New Moondin, the old heroes heading to various places to become Mentors. Ratman goes to live under the old collapsed bridge, Plodd and Poison Phil head to the Goblin Integration Zone to see if they can do anything to help the Goblins who live behind the walls, and Candy Crush plans to go see the mirror witch she remembers meeting in an adventure long ago.

--- Going Outside
- With the time loop apparently ended, they decide to head out to see what the world beyond looks like.
- They walk through the static mist and... Holy shit it's so GREEN.
- Outside the world has recovered. Grass rustles, insects buzz, birds flit through the air. It's amazing.
- They also hear a scream coming from down a well. Since I have prepped nothing extra it looks like a classic dungeon placed in this hex long ago is the new hotness.

--- Well Enough Alone
- Down the well there is, of course, a dungeon. Luminous fresh water and a corridor that leads to a door. They enter into a room with floor tiles with a plant and vine aesthetic. It's also, clearly, hollow.
- Iskander smashes the floor with his hammer, and it falls in! Down there is a single big sarcophagus, and some sort of tiresome water puzzle.

- Iskander and Astro Moon jump down to investigate. They solve the water puzzle, the sarcophagus lid pulls back... and a bunch of dead people jump out! They look exactly like Skyrim Draugr! Both investigators are rapidly hauled back up to the floor above.
- The draugr yell "hey leave us alone ok?" but after much deliberation, the discovery that they've got a cool magic necklace, and many comments to the effect of "we can take them easy", the party attack!

--- Against the Draugr
-Silf the Gad flutters away, scared, and the battle is joined!
- Three of the draugr are flung by the others up onto the main level, and Astro Moon tries a gambit to kick one back down. Unfortunately she falls down herself and is mobbed by the three that stayed down there. One of them chews off her hand!
- Police bravely takes on two of the draugr on the top level, and gets absolutely mauled. He takes a couple down, but with his collarbone shattered and bleeding in twenty different places he is yes - fucking dead. With his last moments he uses meme magic to transfer his soul into the goat. Police is now a Police Goat.
- Swan and Iskander, better at fighting, are set upon by the other draugr after they take down Astro Moon and leave her to her fate. They cut down several, and the draugr start to complain that they might lose!
- But wait! It's the GOAT! It charges into battle and headbutts the final one with its horns! The draugr's corpse tumbles down, shattering its head on the stone floor.
- A short funeral is held for Police's corpse, attended of course by Police Goat. They shove it into the sarcophagus and close the lid.
- Iskander grabs the magic thingy this was all in aid of getting. It's a Corpse Chat Necklace, and allows the spirit animating an undead creature to speak! Clearly this needs to go on his skeleton porter.

Total: 7000 exp

Valuables:
- Corpse Chat Necklace - allows the spirit animating an undead creature to speak.

Murders:
- 6 draugr, slain at great cost (150 exp)

Total: 150 exp

OOC:
- Remembrancer: Charles (100 exp)
- Art Attack: Charles (100 exp)
- First party to enter this dungeon (200 exp)
- Amputation Bonus (Astro Moon - 100 exp)
- Near Death Experience (Astro Moon - 100 exp)
- Death's Witness (all - 100 exp ea.)
- Died In Your First Session (Charles - 500 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Izzy / Astro Moon, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 2884 (Level up at 4500)
DING! +1d4 HP! +1 Mana! +free spell!
- Ollie / Iskander Fullbeard, Level 2 Fighter: 2684 (Level up at 4000)
DING! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian rolls!
- George / Swan the Swift, Level 2 Barbarian: 2684 (Level up at 4000)
DING! +1d8 HP! +1 to BAB! +1 to Crits/Fumbles!
- Charles / Police, Level ? Goat: ? exp (Never level up)
- Charles Next Character: +1000 exp.

Session 287 - Last Orders Before Lockdown

If anything, this coming out now shows that I only write the recaps when it's already too late!

This session actually occurred back in August last year, but at least Ynn is a dreamlike garden where old memories linger... or something.

Session 287 - Last Orders Before Lockdown

New Backstory:
- Red is the leader (as she sees it) of the Bunker Buddies, a tight-knit group of good friends!

Valuables:
- Seven jewelled rings. (3500 exp)
- Anti-Stasis Chainmail. Half damage from stasis weapons (like angels use)
- Curse-eating Wand. Stores a curse at a time, casts at a stone's throw range.
- Luck-Twisting Halberd. Activate it on an attack to get a nat 20, but the next attack is always a nat 1.
Total: 3500 exp

Events:

- Deep in the Gardens of Ynn, on a floating garden containing a bubbling corrosive pit, the fabled adventurers Andromeda, Red and Ratman the Ratman stand.
- They are here to find the Goblins who left reality and fled into this perpendicular dimension. Or at least, they might have been. It's hard to know anything when you're this deep into the dream.

--- Empty Robes
- There is another island with a huge stone cube. They approach, and empty floating robes with big pointy ears emerge. They are here to guard the way out. They are here to prevent the escape of the Idea of Thorns. They warned the Goblins, but the Goblins failed to listen, and ran deeper into the Gardens.
- The cube is a house, and has many worldly possessions. The shades care not if it is looted. Ratman finds jewelled rings, Andromeda finds enchanted chainmail, Red finds a wand that eats curses.
- Red, whose head has been locked into a mask, taps it on the mask and releases herself from the curse! Lovely!

--- Goblin-Adjacent Entities
- Several more islands follow, some sort of glowing light from below makes Red's legs mirror and mirror into a spider-form, but she's always been that way. An ape throws a lion cub from a cliff, and it cracks to reveal a halberd with a glistening blade.
- An island covered in rose thorns peels back to reveal Goblins, at last! These have big mushroom ruffs and white eyes. They merge into one, mycelium binding them, and it demands the group join the mind-hive.
- Red blats it with her curse-wand and the mask appears on one of the faces. The creature realises how rude it's being, and invites the party for dinner. They politely decline.
- They leave via a hole in a dodecahedron that widens out into great steps leading down. Time flips and bends. Ratman has loads more rats. Red has two Gifflewim coins now. Andromeda feels her connection to the old reality start to fray.

--- The Unicorn
- A unicorn in bright sunshine, brambles winding around its horn, a message written in thorns on its flank.
- Andromeda reads it, nearly reaches a dark comprehension, and then the thoughts crumble and desaturate as Red uses the curse-wand on the Idea of Thorns. Convenient item!
- Red befriends The Unicorn (first name The, last name Unicorn) because she is, of course, a virgin.
- The Unicorn had seen some Goblins go past! It knows that there's a memetic plague going around, but also that the Goblins have been building a city in reverse down here, they finished building it yesterday.
- The gang hop on The Unicorn for a magical ride to the goblin settlement!

--- Gobolopolis
- The first thing is the screams. The second thing is the graffiti about Thorns. The third thing is all the thorns. Or is that backwards?
- The Unicorn turns at right angles and clops into a house. It's got a big soil bed for growing baby Goblins. Inside there is a really tall Goblin with filigree ears. His name is Squinchopolous, long for Squinch.
- He says the Goblins came into the Gardens to escape persecution, but they came too deep and found the ruins of an ancient Elf civilisation and a dormant memetic virus inimical to sentience and civilisation.
- The virus accelerates plant growth, which is fine for Goblins but absolutely fucks up Hobgoblins. They're the ones screaming. The Goblins themselves can reproduce, so it's kind of fine down here for them.
- Squinch tells the party not to let the curse-wand with the Idea of Thorns in it out into the world. Doing so would risk the fragile civilisation that yet remains up there.

--- Gifflewim
- Red has an idea! She flips one of her Gifflewim coins and he appears!
- He's initially taken aback by being drawn into this other world, but there is a deal to be done!
- Red offers him the Death mask, and in exchange he'll cure the Idea of Thorns. Great idea.
- He takes the mask, Red zaps him with the Idea of Thorns so that he can work out a way to defeat it, and Gifflewim promptly says "Huh, that's a good idea". He puts on the Death mask, and vanishes.
- Andromeda looks at Red with a genuine "oh fuck" expression.

--- Back to Reality
- The Unicorn doesn't quite understand what's going on, but he's quite happy to take the party back up to the doorway into Ynn. Close to the entrance he's just a horse.
- Japhet & Hirsch wave from the garden gate that leads back up and out into New Moondin. Something crazy is going on outside. The sky is going fuzzy, and there's talk of a "lockdown"...

Total: 8000 exp

OOC:
- Remembrancer: Kitty (100 exp)
- Jugbryngyr: 1 each (500 exp ea.)
- Probably some more each (200 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 8 Andromedan Vampire: 183896 (Level up at 288000)
- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 169095 (Level up at 256000)
- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 134617 (Level up at 192000)

Session 286 - Succ’d by the Bus

 

Session 286 - Succ’d by the Bus

New Backstory:
- Kandy Toffee-Apple Moon D'Moor doesn’t regret coming to this world through the mirror. If he could choose, he’d still do it all again.

Foes Defeated:

- A massive Leech-Drake (1000 exp)
- 2 dreams of different natures (2000 exp)
Total: 3000 exp

Events:

--- Ratman Returns!
- Still deep into the gardens, the party are still hanging around the mask display. Suddenly, parachuting from above on a parachute made of clangers, Ratman the Ratman returns! In the dream-state that is the Gardens, he looks rather more cartoonish than normal.
- He lands and takes an unclaimed mask - that of the Crow Doctor. It fits snugly around his snout, grants a bonus to Saves vs Doom, allows him to heal others by harming himself, and erodes his Charisma and Strength. Fair trade!
- They go deeper into the gardens, finding themselves in some smouldering woods that look like a fire went through some days ago. They even meet a huge talking tree-man who is very conscious of copyright law. They get on well, so the big eucalypt-man gives Red a singed koala called Gladys and directions through the woods. Helpful!

--- Leech-Drake
- The woods lead through to a salamander settlement covered with ivy and with great bonfires between the houses. The big axlotl-esque fire lizards are on their rooftops cheering for a great battle to commence!
- The great battle is… a huge rolling leech creature! Its scaly skin is sea-green with blue bands, and it wants to suck their blood! Andromeda realises that this must be the dream-form of one of the party’s most storied foes… the Bus! That huge grub from long years back has returned from their memories!
- Everything gets very video-gamey and meta when a health bar appears and all the combatants do an opening flourish. It goes for Red but she swings up on top of it, while nearby Ratman’s laser rifle detonates as he tries to shoot it! Ferdinand the Bull returns from god knows where and joins the fray too!
- Andromeda summons her god-hammer and dives into its throat, smashing it from the inside,while Ratman sends his swarms to attack it from without. While all this goes on, Kandy stands in a salamander bonfire heating his weapons - he’s immune to the fire due to his magic mask after all.
- After the death of many rats, Andromeda finally bursts out from within the leech-drake’s guts! The salamanders cheer - it was a good show!
- She slurps down some of its gore and has a strange vision of being in a glass room that fills with champagne. When the vision fades she looks down to see that the Bus contained some loot! An airline-size bottle of absinthe, a metal war-fan, and a smoking pipe filled with tobacco!
- Red downs the absinthe, feels a warm glow, and hears the sound of a glass ceiling shattering as the potions’ effects take hold - she’s level 10 for the next couple of hours!

--- Ruins and Dreams
- They move onwards since the way back behind them has faded away. They walk through a mist and find themselves on a floating island above a misty chasm, other islands float a dreamlike distance away covered with ruins. It takes a mere thought to go to another island as they float like leaves on a pond, drifting through these ruins in the depths of the Gardens.
- Moving across an unreal bridge between islands they look down into a pit containing a dream. Kandy reaches out and it reaches back into his head, altering his self and memories to make him remember that he won that mirror through luck and gambling.
- Past the dream they see what it was feeding on at the bottom of the pit - a huddled goblin whose memories are spread out around him in fractal patterns.
- To fight the dream one must make use of memories. Ferdinand the bull reminds Kandy of where they first met, restoring his sense of self somewhat. Red reminds him of what a nice guy he was when he first left the mirror.
- The dream spreads to Red, and they remember the time they gambled the night away. Andromeda is next to receive the dream-memory, the three of them sitting around a gambling table the night the Burning Bush burnt down.
- They’re all losing their grasp of who they are, and so Kandy offers up the crystal elf skull to the dream. Hundreds of years of memory right here! The dream cradles the skull and takes it into the pit to feed, the skull’s screams echoing from the dirt walls.
- They back away and turn to see they’ve reached another island. The pool in the centre hisses and spits, and corrodes to death one of Ratman’s clangers. A sneaking slithering tongue emerges to pierce the dying rat, then slithers forward towards Ratman singing of blood and sacrifice.
- Andromeda loves that shit, so she dives in front of the dream-tongue to take the hit! She remembers how she stabbed Bertha over and over again while kissing her, whispering “blood to blood” into her mouth. She begins to forget who she is again.
- Kandy unleashes a Miracle - the Chill Zone! Everyone chills out, and the dream retreats to the pool to make trippy shapes. Andromeda emerges from the dream and feels Red’s hand on her shoulder. She looks up into Red’s eyes and remembers - they’re the Bunker Buddies!

Total: 6000 exp

Roles:
Remembrancer: Kitty (100 exp)
Expedition Leader: Ollie (100 exp)
Cartographer: Kitty (100 exp)
Paymaster: Izzy (100 exp)

Quartermaster: Ollie (100 exp)
Vanguard: Timothy (100 exp)
Triage: Timothy (100 exp)
Chef: Izzy (100 exp)

OOC:
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus: Tim, Izzy (500 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 8 Andromedan Vampire: 179262 (Level MAX)

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 164561 (Level MAX)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 8 Ratman: 130083 (Level MAX)

- Ollie / Kandy Toffee-Apple Moon D'Moor, Level 7 Intergalacticist Cleric: 88527 (Level up at 112000)

Session 285 - Wear a Mask

 The gardens continue on, with many strange happenings and unearthly secrets, until the gang find some artefacts which may well bring about their doom - strange masks that grant fickle powers to those who wear them...

Session 285 - Wear a Mask

New Backstory:
- Kandy Toffee-Apple Moon D'Moor had a girlfriend who was really into his rotund body. When he eventually lost the weight she left him… so he got his petty revenge by eating all her chocolate. It was the last chocolate in the world. Once per round, deal 1 damage to a creature that just hit you.

Valuables:
- A golden 48 hour pocket watch (2500 exp)
- Ten masks of uncertain nature
Total: 2500 exp

Foes Defeated:

- A big topiary-bird (500 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Events:

--- Oh hi, Kandy!
- Kandy Toffee-Apple Moon D'Moor, the alt-universe version of dearly mirror-defenestrated Beepbox, stumbles through the strange and wondrous underground gardens that lie perpendicular to the apocalyptic reality above. He passes through a garden arch and sees a dreamlike nightmare sight before him - his friends butchering an enormous praying mantis amongst greenhouses. What does this dream-portent mean?!
- Oh wait it’s actually real and they’re actually gutting a big praying mantis because they want to eat it. Unconvinced by their protestations of deliciousness, he goes to pick some fruit from a nearby tree but finds only human teeth. How did he get here again?
- He turns back to the group to discover that Poison Phil has started cooking a meal. He calls it a “Praying Manwich” - mantis brain pâté between lightly toasted slices of goblin flesh, topped with edible orchids and flaked whale caviar. It’s palatable… but after eating it Poison Phil gets a horrible grumling feeling in his stomach.

--- Onwards through the Steam
- Despite Plod’s mysterious disappearance (did he lure them here? Where did he go?) the gang decide to continue on, perhaps if they go deep enough they’ll find where the goblins went!
- They walk through a burnt garden where great brass pipes jut from the ground and spew boiling steam and come to a chasm with floating mushroom gardens. The way behind them closes up. No way out but through! A dropped rock never hits the bottom of the misty chasm.
- Good thing Kandy has a jetpack, honestly. Andromeda turns into a bat, flies over, then turns back into a human over a giant mushroom to bounce on it. She’s bounced into the corrugated iron shade over the mushrooms, and also releases wisdom-draining spores!
- Kandy has begun jetpacking people over to the other side… and as he does so a stone statue of a proper traditional angel with feathery wings and a flaming sword ascends from the chasm below! It intones “I am the angel of your doom!” as it rises, and Kandy counters by… putting on the cursed dancing shoes he got from Sir Robyn’s tower!
- Kandy is forced to dance! Thankfully the angel becomes somewhat confused and curious. After a bit of discussion they persuade the angel to help them get across to the other side. In all honesty even the angel is confused about how they pulled that one off!

--- Versus the Topiary
- They crawl through ahole in the hedge and come out onto a small field where the ground churns like the sea and a shooting gallery has been set up in the centre. More importantly, a singing choir of rose-headed plant-people is fighting a giant bird-topiary!
- Kandy acts fast, calling upon his god Galaxy Johnson to abduct the great bird! A pale light shines from above and the topiary starts to rise into the air!
- On seeing this, the rose-people turn to talk. In their fluted voices they explain that they grew the topiary, but it has begun to disrespect them and tried to walk off. Nevertheless, they grew it and they love it, so they would not see it destroyed.
- The topiary-bird plummets to the ground behind them, and Red falls out of a nearby hedge and rushes in to hold it down! She does so with great skill, even giving it a bit of a cheeky prune as she wrestles it to the ground.
- The rose choir use the opportunity to sing the topiary into peacefulness. Meanwhile the party who didn’t just turn up out of a hedge check out the shooting range. Individual boxes aim at posts with long skeletons chained to them. They shoot all the targets and reveal a treasure! A 48-hour pocketwatch that tells the time in fairy-land.
- Ferdinand the mechanical bull blunders into a tree nearby and knocks over a couple of fences on his way to join the party. He followed Red here!

--- Salamanderstron
- They continue, taking their leave of the rose-maidens. Along the way they find a treasure in a flowerbed - an enchanted fishhook. It tells them, somehow, that anyone who swallows the hook will be unable to act against the one holding the other end of the fisking-line.
- They hop a garden gate and come into a burning garden with burning houses and burning lizards amongst them. Huge salamanders - like axlotls with fire in the place of their gill-mane - scuttling about their burning town. The salamanders offer candied treats and, on hearing that they met Axel in a mausoleum somewhere towards the entrance, ask the party to tell him not to go much further away lest he revert to a dumb lizard.
- Reflecting on this consequence of the fairy realm, the gang suddenly examine themselves and realise that they’ve been becoming more archetypical! Pirate, vampire, princess, Robin Hood. Their clothes and demeanours have subtly changed!
- They ask about the goblins and are told that they have gone deeper and deeper into the realm of the evil dream-elves. They bring out the crystal elf skull Theron and ask him about it - he tells them that these Dream Elves are of the same stock as the Red Elves of Mars. Where those Elves left Earth for the physical heavens, these Elves took another path into these metaphysical gardens. He knows not of their ultimate fate.

--- The Masks
- They continue on through a garden made of flesh. Eyes peer from minced-meat garden beds and fingers wriggle from the skin-earth, fingertips peeking up over the thick hair-grass. Some of these fingers hold down a huge clanking smoking lawnmower, and when Andromeda kneels down to suck blood from the sweating ground the fingers spasm and let the lawnmower go! It sprays blood, chopping fingers, roaring towards the party! They run!
- They emerge into a nice normal garden again, not a hairy horrible meat garden. This one has something very interesting in it though... a wall of masks of various kinds. They definitely look cursed, and yet…
- Kandy takes a Harlequin mask - delicate white and black porcelain with gold inlay. He gets a 6-in-6 Stealth, Backstab and Sleight of Hand, but doubles the chance of getting hit by randomly targeted attacks. His life takes on an air of ineffable tragedy. He also tries putting on a second mask on the back of his head. It works! It is the mask of the Flame painted red and orange fire on silk. He becomes immune to fire, but takes double damage from other non-physical sources and he wants to commit grand and exotic acts of arson. - Andromeda also takes two masks - the mask of the Reaper made from a stylised human skull, and the mask of the Black Goat made of horn and velvet. The first makes her give, and receive, 3 more damage and causes small animals to lay down and die around her. The second makes her gain +3 Cha and +3 Con, but will fail any saves against mind- and emotion-control. She finds civilisation tiresome, and wishes to run into the woods and spill blood beneath the moon.
- Red takes the mask of the Refined Lady - delicate china with black inlaid script. She gains a sophisticated taste in art, food and company. Quite the upgrade! She also gains double exp from treasure, no exp from non-treasure, and minimum HP at level-up. Not quite so useful at max level, but there we are.
- Poison Phil takes the mask of the Prisoner - a bolted steel faceplate with grilles over the eyes. He gets +2 AC, but causes the party to lose Initiative ties and takes -1 Awareness. Just looking at him you can tell that he must look grotesque under that mask.
- Most importantly every mask-wearer now gets a Sense of Self rating made up of the sum of their Charisma and Constitution scores. Each day they are affected by the masks’ power, their Sense of Self is eroded, until one day they may become NPCs...

Total: 6000 exp

Roles:
Remembrancer: George (100 exp)
Expedition Leader: Kitty (100 exp)
Cartographer: George (100 exp)
Paymaster: -

Quartermaster: Ollie (100 exp)
Vanguard: Kitty (100 exp)
Triage: Timothy (100 exp)
Chef: Ollie (100 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 8 Andromedan Vampire: 176812 (Level MAX)

- Tim / Red, Level 8 Duellist Fighter: 161611 (Level MAX)

- Ollie / Kandy Toffee-Apple Moon D'Moor, Level 7 Intergalacticist Cleric: 86077 (Level up at 112000)

- George / Poison Phil, Level 4 Fighter: 13993 (Level up at 16000)

Session 284 - The Unreal Underhive

 Into the Underhive, which has become a strange faerie realm since the Goblins locked themselves away.
I feel sorry for that poor mantis guy who just wanted to live his life!

Session 284 - The Unreal Underhive

New Backstory:
- Plod was laughed at by other goblins when they found out he was indentured to Sir Robyn. Once per session, cause someone you’ve met before not to act for a round.
- Poison Phil talked a wasteland warlord down from a tense situation. Once per session, de-escalate a verbal confrontation

Valuables:
- 42 shrinking iron rations (2100 exp)
- 26 mantis rations (26 exp)
Total: 2126 exp

Foes Defeated:

- Glass hummingbirds (50 exp)
- Rapacious silkworms (50 exp)
- A big praying mantis (250 exp)
Total: 350 exp

Expedition:
- First party to enter the Underhive (500 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Events:

--- Julgoor’s Bank
- Back in New Moondin after a week or so out in the wastes, the party rests up and heads over to the Goblin Bank to see what’s going on with the place after the fall of Styx. Turns out Julgoor’s in charge now, and the goblins have mostly retreated into the Underhive and locked themselves away. Also it’s getting real crazy down there.
- After a bit of banter and an art sale to Julgoor, who of course is willing to buy any valuables the party has, they decide to go investigate the mysterious Underhive themselves. Julgoor lets them through the intricate wrought iron gate and into this strange new dungeon…

--- Bloodsuckers
- Inside the place is… vast! And sunny! And full of greenery! Space itself is warped. Clockwork weather winds and shifts on the ceiling a vast distance overhead, paths wind through dense gardens ahead, and songbirds sing somewhere in the trees.

- They first come to a semicircular amphitheatre with shadow puppets rusting on a stage. Soon they notice something very strange - their own shadows are moving weirdly! Messing about with the shadow puppets causes one’s shadow to try try to tear away!
- They move along, following the garden path to a fragrant herb garden. They gather some herbs which Niamh identifies as paralysis herbs… and as she does so she sees a little glass hummingbird flutter down from a nearby tree and hover near her hand. She lets it close… and it sips on her blood!
- Loads more birds flutter down and swarm her, soon draining her of enough blood to make her pass out! The rest of the party run to her aid!
- Poison Phil accidentally gets hit by a load of birds and Plod’s goblins when he fumbles a Gambit, but despite this and other setbacks the glass birds are soon crushed! Phew!

- Some of these herbs are psychedelic. Phil takes some and sees this place in the past… it used to be densely packed earth and rock, naturally! Niamh trips out on some other herb.

--- Choo choo!
- They continue on into a garden with ponds full of lilypads and fish. Plod makes Goblina try all the fish, which shrink down into little objects when taken from the water. Each has a different effect, giving her drunkenness, spiderclimb and… poison! Thankfully she survives, but when a weird icy train track complete with little child-sized fish-train arrives from one of the ponds she’s bundled into it and sent off down the tracks!
- They follow on through a hole in the hedge and find Goblina dead, her train crashed into a hole! This area has more shadow puppets, but this time there are willowy skeletons on chairs watching the stage. They’re not animated skeletons though, thankfully.
- In the hole the little train crashed into they find some food! Lovely! Mini iron rations that expand into a larger meal when you hold them in your hand. Very good.

--- Silk

- They travel onwards, careful not to annoy their animate shadows, and come to a grove of trees draped with interwoven strands of silk. It’s dead cold, but thankfully Plod’s rune-workings help them warm up.
- Plod and Niamh go to gather the silk and find that it’s really sticky! They’re stuck fast! Silkworms descend from the sticky silk above to attack them! Plod’s surviving goblins help him out but get stuck themselves, while Andromeda bites Niamh to heal her with her vampire bite!
- Plod chucks oil on the tree which poor Niamh is stuck to and Poison Phil lights it with a flintlock spark. The whole thing goes up in flames! Niamh jumps away, lightly scorched, and the silkworms are cooked alive!

--- Axel the Axlotl
- They continue deeper and come to a cemetery. The ground warps and waves like an ocean. Atop a mausoleum is a great pale amphibian who introduces himself as Axel and seems pretty chill. Par for the course here really.
- Since everyone’s a little the worse for wear, they decide to camp here under Axel’s watchful eye. Time itself seems to slow as they settle down to camp. Poison Phil cooks up a meal from canned bread, goblin flesh, devil-carp, and some of those silkworms from before. He calls it - wait for it - a Diet of Worms. Very good.

- Andromeda talks to Axel during the night. Apparently there are tall goblins here who come out at night, play drums and harps, always going deeper into this strange place and always trying to get taller. She asks if he’d like to join them going deeper but he demures - if he leaves the cemetery he’ll turn back into a little lizard and he doesn’t want that!

--- Mantis Man
- In the morning they encroach further into the gardens, coming to a garden blooming with rare orchids in greenhouses. One of the greenhouses has been painted over on the inside, so naturally they go to check the place out!
- They smash their way in and find a small house with an odd long bed and a kitchenette. They check the fridge and find it’s got some weird chilled bug things in there. Suddenly Poison Phil feels something grab him from behind and drag him out of the broken window of the door!
- It’s a massive mantis! Poison Phil garnishes himself with paralysis herb as the great insect loudly asks who these people are who’ve broken into his home!
- Andromeda wrestles it off Poison Phil with a crit and pins it while Plod’s goblins smash at its thorax! I say! After lots of wrestling Goblina finally finishes it off. That poor mantis.
- During the fight he mentioned that he’d gone out to bury his wife, so naturally our heroes butcher the dead mantis for meat and then dig up his dead wife to butcher her too.
- Poison Phil drinks a mystery potion he had on him and discovers he can see into people’s pasts. He looks into the mantis’ past and sees that it was just a normal mantis that came into the hive from the normal world, then became a big smart mantis. Now it is a big dead mantis.
- With far more to explore, we finish for the night. Next time, more weird underhive!

Total: 7000 exp

Roles:
Remembrancer: Charles (100 exp)
Expedition Leader: Kitty (100 exp)
Cartographer: George (100 exp)
Paymaster: Charles (100 exp)

Quartermaster: -
Vanguard: George (100 exp)
Triage: -
Chef: George (100 exp)

OOC:
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 8 Andromedan Vampire: 174362 (Level MAX)

- George / Poison Phil, Level 4 Fighter: 11543 (Level up at 16000)

- Charles / Plod, Level 4 Goblin: 8958 (Level up at 16000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 Goblin Buddy! +Backstory!

- James G / Niamh, Level 2 Enlightened Cleric: 4210 (Level up at 4500)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1d6 Healing Pool! +1 Faith! +Backstory!