Tuesday, 4 December 2018

Session 207 - Attack of the Powerpuff Girls!

Without the party's most powerful forces, they're forced to fall back on a B-Team to try and sort out the problem of dragoncults falling all over the city.

The rebellion spreads faster than it can be easily contained while POWERLAD convalesces and Galaxy Johnson waits for the increasingly rapid New Moon to arrive and give him back his power.

See you tonight!


Session 207 - Attack of the Powerpuff Girls!

Campaign Date:
Friday 5th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zenith: Eris
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Il Romantico, a Barbarian Barber (and possible Berber) from the far foreign land of Spain.
- El Romantico, a man who is hunting down Il Romantico for stealing his style and gimmicks!
New Backstory:
- Johnny Mallet was concerned when one of his underlings, Corgi McLiar, seemed to question their faith in profit over journalistic integrity. They went east to ancient temples, found themselves, and stole everything that wasn’t nailed down. Faith reaffirmed! (+1 to beneficial Cleric effects)
- Maddison Dresswell of Abhor Global had a father with a dangerous job - Janitor in a leper colony. He did it out of genuine compassion and love for his fellow man, which made her realise how fucking stupid that was. (+1 to selfless acts)
- Galaxy Johnson took the fall for something that wasn’t his fault - predatory student space-loans! He emerged out of his Crystal Studies course with a useless degree and crippling debt. Honestly getting exiled from Planet Johnson wasn’t such a bad thing, at least he doesn’t have to pay them back! (Half damage from traps somebody else set off)
- Flaming Fury, as one of the vanishingly few female Dwarfs, had a lot of societal expectations on her. She committed an extreme act of teen rebellion - shaving her beard off - bringing shame upon her family. She sported a comb-under for several weeks. (Once per session, auto-pass an attack, save and/or skill check. -2 to that type of roll for the rest of the session)
Treasure and Equipment:
-
Total: 0 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- 3 Powerpuff Andromedae (300 exp)
Total:  300 exp

Exploration:
- Travelled around Fate (100 exp)
Total: 100 exp

Events:
--- Atmospheric Opening Cutscene
- There is a roar. His ears are ringing. He tastes dust and copper. His skin screams with pain. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD slowly rolls over, popping new burn blisters on his arm. He flops onto his back and looks up - an enormous mushroom cloud roiling into the sky. (50 exp)
- He sees Styx pulling himself from his ruined angel-bot frame, mostly unscathed. There is a roar of many voices. He turns to look and sees Flaming Fury looking on impassively. Behind her, now washing past her, is a crowd of people come to save their heroes! (50 exp)
- He reaches out for Bertha but passes out again. He feels hands gingerly lifting him away… (50 exp)
- POWERLAD wakes up in St Cuthbert’s hospital. Giggling nurses attend him, although they’re a bit disappointed that he’s not quite as hung and handsome (and unburned) as he’s meant to be. Bertha, in the next hospital bed, puts up with it. (50 exp)
--- Riot War!
- It’s time to test out the new city takeover minigame! Hyper-Jesus-supporting Loyalists oppose the anti-Hyper-Jesus Rebels, ostensibly following the orders of Styx. Meanwhile the minions of Ereshkigal fly in from above, seeking to destroy Battlefortress Fate entirely… (50 exp)
- The Rebellion is spreading from key locations in God’s Edge and the Deep City. Hyper-Jesus is directed to send a squad of Angels to defend and convert All-Prayer, while St Ballache’s comes under attack from Drakencult. (50 exp)
--- The B-Team
- With the party’s most powerful members languishing in hospital, burnt, or dusted, it’s time for a ragtag group of slightly lower level fools to keep the city together! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury is by far the strongest of the group. She’s joined by Andromeda, the one POWERLAD kinda sorta had a fling with, Abhor Global with a slate of new interns, Dumbledorris, and new arrival Il Romantico who is an extremely amorous barber from Spain. (50 exp)
- Together they set off to St Ballache’s to head off the drakencult before they start summoning dragons. To the tube! (50 exp)
- The Remade-pulled rickshaws of the Entertainment Line take them to a lift at the base of the wall that takes them up to the rickety touristy trains of the Outer Circle Line. From their high vantage they can see the winged Drakencult circling St Ballache’s and diving like carrion crows. (50 exp)
- On the other side, looking out across the ruined land, Mt Death Frost looms as the city strides closer. (50 exp)
- Andromeda rings Hyper-Jesus via earpiece and tells him to reinforce the outer shields to prevent the drakencult getting in, but he’s loathe to do it because he wants to keep moving towards Dwimmermount. (50 exp)
- They see the sun rise from the walltop as they reach the station, it’s really quite pretty. They descend in the rickety lift towards St Ballache’s - pronounced “St Balatchy’s”. (50 exp)
- This area in the military district is traditionally the place where new recruits are allowed out on away days, so lots of cheap pubs and thriving brothels. The place has fallen on hard times since the apocalypse, since most soldiers have been raised a bunch of times already and truly new recruits are vanishingly rare. (50 exp)
- Trying to find the leader of the Drakencult here is going to be hard, since nobody actually knows the area. Pubs and shops are closing all over as the dragon-worshippers swoop overhead blasting at random. (50 exp)
- Corgi McLiar darts into a nearby pub before the owner shuts up shop completely, drawn by the sixteen shots for a silver deal on the window. The bemused bartender gives her a bunch of shots on a tray then locks the shop up tight. (50 exp)
- Il Romantico is drawn towards a tapas bar, calling itself the Tapass Bar, and suddenly a bunch of ratmen pour out of the door! Explosion beams blast down on them from laughing drakencultists, so Styx barges into a nearby house and motions them to follow him! (50 exp)



- As the rest of the party deals with the drakencultists landing outside, Styx speaks to the Ratmen. They’re here to undermine city infrastructure, but weren’t anticipating drakencult! (50 exp)
- Styx tells them his name - he’s Styx! Leader of the rebellion! They don’t believe him, Styx is taller, but they appreciate him teaching them better rune magic. (50 exp)
--- Powerpuff Andromedae
- Three Andromedae land on top of the Tapass bar and call out mockingly to the party’s Andromeda, telling her to abandon her weak green dragon and worship Ereshkigal like a good Andromeda. (50 exp)
- To keep things slightly less confusing, they are designated Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup with mysteriously associated personality traits! (50 exp)



- Party Andromeda tries to convince them that leaving is freedom, they’d never be forced to be with a POWERLAD they hate! But it turns out the lead Andromeda is happy with her POWERLAD so nyuh. (50 exp)
- Il Romantico tries to seduce them to little effect - they’re happy with their POWERLADs! (50 exp)



- Party Andromeda tries to trick them by creating an illusory version of the original POWERLAD, to be taken as a hostage. Bubbles-Andromeda flies down to escort him to their leader, but the trick is revealed when POWERLAD flies out of range and appropriately turns into bubbles! (50 exp)
- The Powerpuff Andromedae are enraged by this trick and attack! (50 exp)
- Il Romantico charges in but takes an explosion beam for his trouble, blasting him into a wall! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury charges to support and gets a back-slapped Haste spell cast on her from Party-Andromeda! Using her newfound speed she unleashes the Bow of the Ram on Blossom-Andromeda, winging her with the arrow. (50 exp)
- Party-Andromeda runs into the Tapass bar and heads for the stairs to the roof. That’s where the action is! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury uses Haste to go FULL POWER! She practically sprints up the wall, leaps into the air at the top, and fires her bow again, hitting them both! (50 exp)
- As one, the Andromedae leap forward with Magic Missile punches and DOUBLE CRIT!!! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury tanks the hits! Her armour crumples, she stands firm, and the red sash at her waist glows with energy as the Magic Missiles are converted into other spells! (50 exp)



- One of them turns to Message, the other to Mending. Her crumpled armour instantly reforms! Success! (50 exp) - Styx experiments with rat-borne runes to little success, the little bastards keep missing! (50 exp)

- Il Romantico wants to get in on the action! He also tries to run up the side of the building… but falls and breaks his leg and snaps his alarmingly erect penis. (50 exp)

- He enters a Barbarian Rage, yelling about his “Rage Boner Powers” and tries again! (50 exp)



- In a savage rage, frothing from the mouth, he swarms up the side of the building! When he gets to the top his rage abates and he slumps to the ground, not quite dead. (50 exp)
- Late and heroic as ever, Lonely Blade aka Robyn Jr swings across the rooftops! He swings onto the roof and poses dramatically with his katana! (50 exp)

- He slices bravely at the two rooftop Andromedae, having also discovered recently just how good choppy weapons are against unarmoured flesh. (50 exp)

- Party-Andromeda bursts out of the rooftop doorway and slams into Buttercup-Andromeda with a mighty blow! Flaming Fury downs a bottle of booze and enters a DRUNKEN RAGE, coming in with an assist! Buttercup-Andromeda is cut down where she stands. (50 exp)
- Down at street level, Abhor Global beat back the battered Blossom-Andromeda with their vicious interviewing style. The enemy Andromeda reels back... and a knife falls from the sky and buries itself in her head! (50 exp)



- There is a puff of soot from the chimney of the building above as the soot-blackened Styx disappears back down the flue. That was a hell of a fucking throw! (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris begins to cast the spell Return to Mother, targeting Bubbles-Andromeda who didn’t hate her mother.
- Bubbles-Andromeda weeps for her fallen clone sisters, but her morale holds. She lets loose her anti-gravity breath, hitting everyone on the rooftop! (50 exp)
- Still lying on the roof, Il Romantico is hit full force. His jaw is blown off and the blood is everywhere. The others manage to survive, albeit now floating in the air due to the inverted gravity. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris’ Return to Mother spell goes off, wrapping a long umbilical cord around the last enemy Andromeda and pulling her into some other place with a surprised yell of “mum?!” (50 exp)
--- Aftermath
- The Andromedae finally dead, Il Romantico stands up, dusts himself off, and with a jawless cry of “I can’t feel my boner!” falls off the roof to his death! Dumbledorris is there just in time to collect his Last Breath! (50 exp) - Styx gives the ratmen a note to take to the rebellion, especially to ask them who the fuck stole his brand. (50 exp)

- The sounds and pyrotechnics of the battle have drawn the attention of a POWERLAD wearing a cowboy hat, who swoops in to investigate. He stays at a distance, cupping his hands to make a loudspeaker, and tells them to fuck off. (50 exp)
- Party-Andromeda, now thankfully the only Andromeda for this recap, waves and yells for help! Flaming Fury runs at her, waving her axe and pretending to attack her! (50 exp)
- The POWERLAD swoops down to save her, because that’s what heroes do! (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury pops off back down the stairs into the bar and pours herself a drink. She’s done all she needs to do. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD leads with a web punch to create cover, then flies through and lands dramatically in front of Andromeda. The damsel is saved! Or so he thinks, until he realises her voice is different.... (50 exp)
- She leans forward to kiss him - and breathes her poisonous breath into his mouth. He dies with Andromeda’s name on his lips. (50 exp)



--- Flee!
- But even with all this death, it’s not over. POWERLAD’s backups are already on their way - green-winged ratmen and pale-winged men in white robes are banking to check out the situation. (50 exp)
- Flaming Fury bursts out of the ground floor door with a cask of sherry under each arm. To the station! The rest follow in a pell-mell rush through the narrow streets. (50 exp)
- Styx watches them go from the house he’s hunkered down in. When the winged drakencult are past, he emerges to investigate the area and save what he can. (50 exp)
- Behind the runners, Lonely Blade squirts out webbing to deter flying pursuers. Soon the party is out of sight and away. (50 exp)
--- The Angels Descend
- Acting on their information, Hyper-Jesus sends a new squad of angels down to St Ballache’s. The party, from the Outer Circle train on the wall, has a good view as they descend. (50 exp)
- In the city below, beams fire out at the angels and the swarms of black wings circle. There is a strange warping of the view and an atonal roar as the Drakencult bring forth another dragon to defend themselves. The battle below is just beginning! (50 exp)
- Also on the train is an absurdly familiar new party member - a man named El Romantico, who has been searching for a man who stole his identity!
--- The Fire of Rebellion
- Elsewhere, the rebellion against Hyper-Jesus spreads. The campaign of dissent and street-level civil disobedience reaches the Inner Circle line, spreading as far as Dirt’s Edge. With the angels busy battling the drakencult, the city is vulnerable to sedition… (50 exp)
Total: 2850 exp

Misc:
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
Total: 800 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp ea)
- Caller (Kitty / Andromeda)- 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / El Romantico - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Ollie / Flaming Fury - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Charles, Timothy - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Ollie*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Ollie - 500 exp)
- Death’s Witness bonus (all who saw Il Romantico die - 100 exp)
- Famous Last Words bonus (Charles - 200 exp)
- Amusing Death bonus (Charles - 500 exp)
Active Businesses:
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Il Romantico, broke his leg in a fall then finished off when a dragon-cultist’s gravity breath tore off his jaw.
Exp Totals:
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp) 
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 21812 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp)
- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 39034 (Level up at 72000) 
- Timothy / RJ, Level 6 Spider Fighter: 34867 (Level up at 64000)
- James / Abhor Global, Level 3 Extras: 3852 (Level up at 6000)
- Charles, El Romantico, Level 2 Barbarian: 2079 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Power rolls! +1 round of Rage! +backstory!
- Charles / Il Romantico, Level 1 Barbarian: 0 (Level up at 2000)
*DECEASED*


Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 81366 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)

Absent or Retired:
- George / Oliver Snels, Level 1 Barbarian: 1973 (Level up at 2000) 
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 2 Necromancer: 4116 (Level up at 4500) 
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 148132 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp) 
--- Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp) 
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 61149 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

Tuesday, 27 November 2018

Session 206 - Dragonslayers!

It's been over half a decade of this campaign and this is, legitimately, the first time there's been a fight against a dragon!

It's legitimately miraculous that nobody died, what a beast!
This recap is straight up short story length, so enjoy this I guess! I figure I should get it out tonight, so as always if you have any corrections let me know!

Next week we'll have to deal with a whole heap of problems.
Galaxy Johnson's been dusted, POWERLAD is suffering from severe burns, and Oliver Snels' eyes have been burnt out!

We've got a city under attack from without and within. Without our main heroes, will the city even be in one piece by the time they've recovered?

POWERLAD does what heroes do.
Styx saves the day, where do his loyalties lie?
Galaxy Johnson molests then murders a dragon.
RJ kills someone by accident.
Mortlocke finds his druggie buddies.
Abhor Global takes a significant beating.
Oliver Snels gets arrested and, later, blinded.


Session 206 - Dragonslayers!

Campaign Date:
Friday 5th June, 1601
Moon Phase: Third Quarter
Zenith: Eris
Zodiac: Taurus

New Characters:
- Oliver Snels, brother of the now-remade Adam Snels, shanker of at least one drug farmer, and self-declared Puritan Barbarian.
- Abhor Global, a contingent of news reporter Extras under the command of one Johnny Mallet
New Backstory:
- Galaxy Johnson did what was right (allegedly) by kidnapping Arach-Nacha and bringing her to Moondin, even though it hurt her. (+1 to your next roll when you do something noble or righteous)
Treasure and Equipment:
- Several Hyper-Jesus earpieces
Total: 0 exp

Enemies Defeated:
- A number of enemy POWERLADs and Andromedas (750 exp)
- An Explosion Dragon (1500 exp)
Total: 2250 exp

Exploration:
-
Total: 0 exp

Events:
--- The Field of Abominance
- In the raised field in the centre of the great grinding pit of the Impound of Flesh, Oliver Snels approaches the brain-jar statue that was once his brother. (50 exp)
- It sings Psalms of praise and wondrousness. Adam Snels, the original Snels, cannot speak, but he can pray. Oliver breaks the arms and legs off and swings the torso onto his back. Like C-3PO on Chewbacca. (50 exp)
- He heads off to find the rest of the group at the cathedral where they’re reporting in to Terms Termax… (50 exp)
--- In the Deep City
- Styx makes a show of fleeing the throne room, pursued by angel. He takes control of it with his control module in a stunning and dramatic display of skill! In his pocket is a shiny new Hyper-Jesus communication earpiece, the control module has been upgraded. It’s all a trick. (50 exp)
- Down at Fate’s lowest point, Styx returns to the beginnings of the rebellion. He is greeted by Ilda and Heriael along with a few of his goblin minions. Ilda greets him warmly and whispers in his ear, while Heriael subtly and telekinetically slips a note into his pocket. (50 exp)
- In essence - don’t speak aloud in case Hyper-Jesus is listening. The resistance is mostly borrowing Maintenance hand signals to communicate. The symbol of the resistance means “replace faulty part”. (50 exp)
- Styx’s disciples have spread out to likely areas across the city to foment rebellion. It’s early days, but they’re doing their best. (50 exp)
--- The Cathedral
- POWERLAD, Galaxy Johnson and Mortlocke are in front of the Church of Nine Corners. Summoning Terms Termax, aka Hyper-Jesus, is easy here. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson tells him that everything’s going great… which Terms is sceptical of seeing as there’s a rebellion brewing. On that, please help him crush the rebellion. (50 exp)
- They show willing, so he grants them Hyper-Jesus earpieces if they want them. Direct communication with Mister Hyper-Jay, and the ability to draw on his power for super attacks! Roll your attack against every enemy in a cone in front of you, but lose a point of Wisdom. (50 exp)
--- Connection Restored
- Above, the constant background song of the angels stops. The sort of noise you don’t hear until it’s gone. Deep below, Styx’s Angel-bot flashes a warning signal that it’s lost connection and begins to target all creatures in the area. (50 exp)
- It’s the time that Styx was warned about. The week when the sky above is clear of gods, the hole in the network left when Eris was blown from the heavens hundreds of years ago. The week when all angels default to haywire mode (50 exp)
- Terms Termax’s head-projection flickers and goes out… then the city itself begins to sing. A deeper man’s voice supporting an operatic woman’s voice. To those that know to hear it’s Eris’ control signal. The angels have a master! Styx’s angel regains connection. All is well! (50 exp)
--- Heathens at God’s Edge
- Oliver Snels, statue-brother on his back, makes his way to the God’s Edge station and the poorly policed area around it, home to Zeanist drug cults and more despised groups on the religious fringe. As a Denialist, it’s the place to go to incite his own sub-rebellion. (50 exp)
- He arrives at the station to find Zam, a disciple of Styx, exhorting a crowd to rise up against the false Christ who claims to rule. After all, Zeanists believe Hyper-Jesus died in battle against Queen Satan. Terms Termax is clearly the deceiver! (50 exp)
- Mortlocke is here too, come to find his Zeanist brethren. Considering how jazzed they are about rising up against the false prophet Terms Termax, it’s an easy choice to join the rebellion. Oliver Snels decides to find a Denialist church. (50 exp)
- He finds it soon enough, following the Zeanists’ directions. The people within seem pretty stoked to join the rebellion, and with them in tow he heads back to the station! Micro-rebellion, begin! (50 exp)
--- Crack the Sky
- With the party split physically and ideologically the next wave of darkness descends. Above the sky is blotted out by expanding petal-waves of deepest black. (50 exp)
- On the cathedral steps, the projection of Terms Termax flickers. “I’m struggling to maintain shields, angel song and motile functions”, he says as the shield flickers overhead. Black endlessly-opening rosettes breach the shield in places, bursting into dark smoke when the shield recovers. (50 exp)
- Styx, in the Deep City, realises something is wrong when the lights flicker and red emergency lighting comes on. Terms Termax gives him a quick update before turning his full attention back to the city’s functions. (50 exp)
- Points of blackness fall like rain, almost impossible to see against the background blackness. POWERLAD engages heartbeat vision… and sees winged figures falling towards the city. (50 exp)
- He yells at Hyper-Jesus to stop moving and with a powerful surge of his wings blasts himself into the sky! (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson apologises to Hyper-Jesus, casts Spiderclimb, and dives into a shadow. He takes to the rooftops, warping through shadows and climbing up walls with his shadow-tendril limbs. (50 exp)
- He’s not far behind POWERLAD, seemingly floating up the side of the Sciotherico as his shadow limbs grasp at the metal sides. He’s in a good position to see the impact. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD flies up and up, the figures resolving themselves into winged black drakencult! Towards him, trimming her fall with tucked-in wings, is Andromeda! He hears her faintly over the wind, then louder and louder, as she plummets towards him! (50 exp)

- “POWEERRRLAAAAAAADDD!!!!” she yells, “TAAAAKE THIIIIIIISSSSS!!!!” (50 exp)

- Her fist crackles with black energy as it slams into him at terminal velocity, blasting him out of the sky! They fall together, spinning through the air, plummeting towards the ground as the Andromeda punches POWERLAD again and again! (50 exp)
- They fall past Galaxy Johnson, followed by the blurred shapes of other drakencultists diving past in swift succession. Miffed, he begins the slow climb-fall down the palace again. (50 exp)
- On the top of the wall at God’s Edge, Oliver Snels and Mortlocke have an awesome view. Black dragon-winged figures falling from the sky, meeting a single blue-green shape in the sky over the Sciotherico. (50 exp)
- There is a crackling flash of eldritch energies and a distant echoing boom, then the shapes tumble downwards together. (50 exp)
- Mortlocke decides to head in towards the action in case anyone needs help. With a shrug, Snels and his rebels head towards the military centre of Fate on the other side of the city. Might as well start this thing off by getting the army on-side! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD keeps trying to talk to her even as they fall, not even trying to hurt her back despite the several blows to the jaw he’s taking. (50 exp)
- Finally realising that he’s not fighting back and just wants to talk, the Andromeda relents. She billows her wings to slow their fall, other POWERLADs and Andromedas following her in formation, towards an open area in the city below. They will land near Forge. (50 exp)
--- Small Rebellion in a Big Pond
- Oliver Snels rides towards March station with his rebels. This transport line is a series of boats pulled along canals by stolid remade. At Snels’ instruction the Denialists are repainting their signs and sandwichboards to say “The end is now!” instead of “The end is nigh!” (50 exp)
- They arrive at the station dock. There are musket-wielding soldiers standing guard, and outside more soldiers are scanning the sky. It’s the middle of an invasion of the city and they’re on high alert! (50 exp)
- Snels tries to tell them to join them unconvincingly, and they tell him to get back in the boat. The city is under attack and they don’t have time for this! (50 exp)
- The rebels burst out of the boat and Snels decides to make a break for it… but in the face of many muskets his resolve falters. A soldier tackles him to the ground. Poor Snels, brought down by the man. (50 exp)
--- The Seducer of All Andromedae
- In an open area near Forge, east of the Sciotherico, POWERLAD is pinned to the ground beneath the knees of the Andromeda who hit him. (50 exp)
- This area is, fittingly, a place of industry. Smoke and steam pour from chimneys and the buildings are of metal and stone, ringing with the clamour of trip-hammers and water turbines and hydraulic rams. (50 exp)
- He is surrounded by familiar faces - paradox clones of himself and Andromeda - the POWERLADs and Andromedas of other timelines brought into our world by the temporal magic of the Time Cube then indoctrinated into the cult of the black dragon Ereshkigal. (50 exp)
- Yea I know, it’s pretty crazy. (50 exp)
- The lead Andromeda tells him to abandon Ninhursag and worship the true dragon all POWERLADs are destined to worship - Ereshkigal. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD’s protestations that his Size aspect means he’s kind of closest to Ereshkigal are denied - Size is only for Flaming Furies, Megs and Blue Jons. POWERLAD’s worship Ereshkigal Undivided. It’s the rules. (50 exp)
- They tell him to make the city turn around and blast the tentacle again before it stops Ereshkigal from pulling the moon down, but he can’t promise that! (50 exp)
- Seeing that this anomalous POWERLAD will not be turned, the leader Andromeda is about to pass judgement - death! But then she looks into his eyes and realises… she can’t kill this one. Not the true POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- Behind her, a hulking Barbarian on glowing wings lands and immediately begins apotheosis, triggering his transformation into an elemental rune dragon! His wings fold around him, turning a blazing white orange, and a constant rolling boom of detonations heralds an eruption of claws and wings and teeth! (50 exp)
- Andromeda seizes POWERLAD and says “say you’ll turn!” He does so, and she uses the excuse to drag him away from the square and down a side street! (50 exp)
- He stops, turns, sees the Explosion Dragon manifest. A stutter-shifting dragon, bursting with barely contained energy rippling under its white-orange skin. Its every motion a detonation. It spreads its wings and roars. Windows shatter, and the hot wind whips through POWERLAD’s spiked hair. (50 exp)
- The Andromeda tugs at his hand. “POWERLAD! What are you doing? They’ll catch us!” (50 exp)
- He turns back to her, fear turning to resolve in his eyes. “I have to fight it. I’m the hero, and this is what heroes do.”
--- Against the Dragon
- POWERLAD stands alone. Framed by the buildings on either side of the passage, he sees a horde of time-clones of himself and Andromeda. Behind them, pulsing with barely constrained energy, is the huge glowing form of the Explosion Dragon. (50 exp)



- He punches the ground and sends forth an enormous illusory version of Ninhursag! Unfortunately all the POWERLADs already know this trick and blast it with Explosion Beams, popping it and turning it into myriad bubbles. (50 exp)
- The rogue Andromeda vacillates between helping POWERLAD and her former allies… then stands at POWERLAD’s shoulder. There is a smoky BAMF! As Galaxy Johnson crawls out of the shadow under the eaves of a building. (50 exp)
- Unexpectedly, a gaggle of reporters show up to cover the battle! They are Abhor Global, led by Johnny Mallet, a new group of Extras. (50 exp)
- Mortlocke arrives, stumbling in from a long train journey that allegedly contained the dreaded Datsun. (50 exp)
- They pose heroically, staring down the dragon together while the camera pans around them dramatically, as the evil POWERLADs charge in! (50 exp)



- The dragon throws its head back and hurls a huge chunk of glowing energy into the air, a parabolic arc that will land on our heroes unless they move! At the same time a POWERLAD punches forth and creates a sphere of impenetrable darkness around the group! (50 exp)
- The other POWERLADs begin charging runes on their palms, holding on for just the right moment… (50 exp)
- In the skies above, seeing the orange breath-mortar arcing up into the air, Styx flies in with angels in formation around him. They’re on loan from Hyper-Jesus, and riding atop them are some of Styx’s disciples with rune beams at the ready! (50 exp)



- He orders one of them to drop onto the dragon from above and it duly does so, smacking into the dragon’s back and shattering. Alas, the anti-magic shell has no effect on an apotheosised elemental dragon despite its magical provenance! (50 exp)
- Mortlocke baulks, so the rebel Andromeda takes his hand and pulls him away from the battle to safety. It’s perfect, this way she doesn’t need to fight either side! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD clenches his fist, energy spiralling around it, and blasts out of the darkness and into the sky! He sees the explosive mortar coming down towards him and dives towards the dragon… but then the enemy POWERLADs open up with their charged rune beams! (50 exp)
- The beams lance towards POWERLAD, several hitting while others go wide. He’s blown backwards again, starting to really feel the hurt after the beating he took from the rebel Andromeda. (50 exp)
- The reporters run out of the darkness, professing their neutrality as they duck and weave through the POWERLADs and out of the mortar’s AoE. (50 exp)
- Styx has landed on a rooftop and set his angels in position. Some of disciples fire down at the dragon with lightning beams, dealing hefty damage, while two of them engage Take Explosion runes. Glowing shards are knocked off the great beast. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson, in the darkness, has forgotten all about the mortar-breath. His shadowy touch-vision allows him to feel where the nearby enemy POWERLADs are, his magic missile taking the form of smoky tendrils that dart from the darkness to slash and kill! (50 exp)
- The mortar detonates in the sphere of darkness! Galaxy Johnson feels it just in time with his smoke-vision and almost manages to avoid it, partially disappearing into a shadow to avoid the worst of the explosion. It still wipes out half his HP. (50 exp)
- RJ enters the battlefield! Web-spinning from a chimney, he lands with his katana in two limbs. Lonely Blade returns! His first blow is a crit, rupturing the scales of the Andromeda-clone he slashes! (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson bursts out of a shadow behind the dragon and rolls to his smoky feet. In his hand is Arach-Nacha’s obol - the golden torc he once used to propose to her. (50 exp)

- He leaps forward towards the base of the dragon’s tail… and plunges the torc into where he assumes the dragon’s cloaca would be. It expels a bomb into his arms in return, and nothing else seems to have happened… (50 exp)
- The angels jump down to attack the dragon and its protectors, arms morphing into axes to better chop the unarmoured Muscle Wizard clones. They make a dent, murdering an Andromeda and a POWERLAD. (50 exp)
- Snels, Bertha, and Andromeda arrive! They charge into the fray, supporting RJ and Galaxy Johnson in their battle against the bulk of the enemies. (50 exp)
- RJ strikes at the weakened Andromeda before him… and his katana slips from his hands. It scythes across the battlefield and into the chest of an enemy POWERLAD. Result! (50 exp)

- Oliver Snels whoops out a loud “HA HA YEA FUCK POWERLADS!”, drawing the ire of all the enemies around him.
- The dragon suddenly in a fiery implosion. The explosive shards knocked off it previously detonate, including the one in Galaxy Johnson’s arms - halving his HP again! An intern from Abhor Global, sent to interview the dragon, is blown to pieces. (50 exp)

- BOOM! There is an explosion on the rooftop and the dragon is suddenly looming above Styx! It strikes forward and grabs Styx and the angel-bot in its maw, shaking them savagely! (50 exp)
- Styx pulls the emergency eject lever, disengaging the control module and boosting out of the destroyed bot! He falls off the building, falls towards an angel below, and manages to land his control module in it! Perfect manoeuvre! (50 exp)
- Heriael, whose telekinetic abilities helped direct and cushion the module, grins and gives him a thumbs up. On the roof, the dragon crushes the discarded angel bot between its jaws. (50 exp)
- The real POWERLAD is fighting a bunch of Andromedas and a POWERLAD near the darkness sphere. They unload spells, a wall of fog and a web and a mirror image, hoping to trap him! (50 exp)
- They didn’t count on the power of the LORD! POWERLAD shouts “Ave Hyper-Jesus!” and his hammer crackles with energy, blasting out of the web and swinging straight into the head of an Andromeda, blasting her sideways! (50 exp)
- She smashes into the next Andromeda, and the next and the next. They crunch into the wall, leaving a massive dent, bones shattered in an explosion of blood and crackling glow. POWERLAD stands, eyes glowing with holy light! (50 exp)
- The Explosion Dragon explodes again, reappearing in front of Styx, chasing him down! It pounces on him like a cat, crushing and pinning his angel-bot, leaving Styx exposed in the gap between its claws! (50 exp)
- “I never met you Insanity Mammoth, but you seem a right douche” he yells as it opens its jaws wide and snaps snake-quick towards him… (50 exp)
--- Arach-Nacha Saves
- And spider-legs emerge from its throat, holding its jaws open! The dragon’s head is wrenched back, thwarted! (50 exp)
- Arach-Nacha’s last act, as her obol is blown to pieces in the dragon’s endlessly exploding innards, is to save Styx. Her legs reach out, grip around the sides of the dragon’s mouth, and slam its head sideways onto the ground! (50 exp)
- The dragon’s leg buckles and cracks, the forces within bursting out in a cloud of ash, and lets out a low roar as it hits the cobblestones. (50 exp)
- Nearby, Snels tanks a POWERLAD’s blows with his many signboards, while another dives at Galaxy Johnson who is mid-cast! The punch misses, but it distracts Galaxy Johnson enough to force a Chaos Burst… (50 exp)
- The spell goes out of control, coalescing randomly, the metal tang of wild magic on everyone’s tongue… and then… (50 exp)
- Smoky tendrils burst from Galaxy Johnson’s body, tearing into the Explosion Dragon, trying to reach Arach-Nacha’s essence before she disappears forever! (50 exp)
- The shadow-stuff rips great holes in the roiling flesh of the dragon, tearing it apart. Galaxy Johnson screams and in those last few moments reveals the arachnid form of his former lover, her pedipalps wide to welcome her death, blowing away to ash. (50 exp)
- She sees him, or at least the thing he has become, and blows him a final kiss from her dissolving lips… (50 exp)
- A beat. (50 exp)
- The dragon collapses down, claws and jaws and wings and flesh sucked down into a single bright orange-white ball of energy. The voice of Insanity Mammoth cackles, “HAHAHA FUCK YOU ALLLLLL!” (50 exp)
- It detonates in a massive 10d6 explosion! After all that, our heroes have no chance… (50 exp)
- But up on the roof, Styx’s disciples have Take Explosion runes! It dampens the detonation, limiting its impact and sucking it towards them! (50 exp)
- It’s still 5d6 damage to everyone in the radius. Abhor Global is wiped out, leaving the head reporter Johnny Mallet the sole survivor. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD takes it on the chin… literally. He’s blown backwards by the blast, covering his face and body with second-degree burns. He’s blasted into RJ, shielding the spider-weeb from the bulk of the blast. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson is blasted to cosmic ash. His black stone heart falls to the ground, wreathed in collapsing shadow. (50 exp)

- Oliver Snels catches the blast full in the face, burning his eyes to cinders! He flies backwards, the brain-jar statue of Adam Snels on his back clonking against a drainpipe. (50 exp)
- Bertha is nearly killed, barely saved by Andromeda. If she wasn’t already blind that might have been a lot worse. (50 exp)
- Styx survives… barely. Protected by the remains of the angel-bot, he’s surprisingly unscathed! (50 exp)
- The surviving POWERLADs and Andromedas, horrified, flee the devastation. They leave behind the battered, bruised and burnt bodies of the party. It’s a pyrrhic victory, but at least it’s a victory. (50 exp)
Total: 5100 exp

Misc:
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Appeaser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)
- Holy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus (50 exp)
- Tentacle Molestation bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1050 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Carter / Styx - 100 exp ea)
- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD)- 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)
- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Tim / Mortlocke - 100 exp)
- Art Attack bonus (Carter, Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Attacco d’Arte bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Carter*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Charles, Timothy - 500 exp)
- Near Death Experience bonus (POWERLAD, Galaxy Johnson, Styx, Oliver Snels, Styx, Bertha, Abhor Global - 100 exp ea.)
Active Businesses:
- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1020sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)
--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)
--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- Galaxy Johnson has been dusted until the next new moon.
- POWERLAD has second degree burns - 1d4 weeks recovery
- Oliver Snels’ eyes have been burnt out.

Exp Totals:
- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 148132 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp)
--- Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 21007 (Level up at 36000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 6 (-25% exp) 
--- Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)

*DUSTED UNTIL NEW MOON*
- Timothy / RJ, Level 6 Spider Fighter: 34188 (Level up at 64000)
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 2 Necromancer: 4116 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Abhor Global, Level 3 Extras: 3273 (Level up at 6000)
*DING!* +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +backstory!

- George / Oliver Snels, Level 1 Barbarian: 1973 (Level up at 2000)

Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 80821 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9322 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8393 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6322 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2322 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1822 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1822 (Level up at 3000)

Absent or Retired:
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Suzie / Dumbledorris2, Level 6 Inheritor: 38455 (Level up at 72000)
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 61149 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 48119 (Level up at 70400)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp)
---Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
---- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)