Session 154 - Race for the Cure

With three PCs down and no high level Cleric in sight, the race for a bunch of new level 1 characters to find a cure for the horrendous Pudding Affliction!

Bertha's sordid past is definitely one of my favourite bits of emergent narrative yet. All the great emotional character stuff seems to happen to Kitty!
On that note: Attached to this very email is a super secret page from Bertha's super secret diary. Thank goodness POWERLAD's on his way back to health, I don't think I could handle it if he died!

With the disease cured, will we see the return of Zena and co? Or will newcomers like Galaxy Johnson stick around to see how they do? Find out next time!!

Session 154 - Race for the Cure

Campaign Date:
Monday, 14 October, 1600
Moon Phase: Waning Crescent
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:
- Bertha, POWERLAD's wife, is a PC now! She has a secret former life... and she's a Necromancer now.
- Galaxy Johnson, an Alpdrucke from the nearby old ruins who is the host for an alien soul
- Tippin, a Dickensian orphan ratboy who fled his exploitative human master
- Larry's Legends, a group of out-of-work Knacker Extras in search of a cause

Enemies Defeated:

- A couple of skin-kites (20 exp)

Total: 20 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A fairly uninspiring gem (10 exp)
- A cure for the pudding affliction!

Total: 10 exp

Exploration:-  30 or so miles of travel (100 exp)- 2 random encounters (100 exp)
- First party to visit Treehole (100 exp)
- First party to visit Fondle (100 exp)
- First party to visit Fatknob (100 exp)
Total: 500 exp

Events:

- POWERLAD, Zena and Borodin are feverish wrecks, and to everyone's dismay Carrie Meleste is out of town. It's up to Bertha and a ragtag group of ne'redowells to find a doctor before it's too late! (50 exp)
- Since Bertha is getting upgraded to a perspective character, we suddenly get insight into her past. As she collects the makeup kit and brass knuckles of her former life, we discover that Bertha is an ex-prostitute. Needless to say, POWERLAD doesn't know. (50 exp)

- After hitting up Spicy Mac's in search of healing herbs (pretty much oregano etc) the crew heads off towards the closest village of Treehole. (50 exp)
- Indeed, the trees as they approach all have holes bored through their centres. Cheers can be heard, and as the party approach they see a large crowd gathered around the church. (50 exp)
- Larry's Legend ask the crowd what's going on. It's the big football match against Fatknob! One of those OG football matches where everyone from one town tries to get a football to another town. (50 exp)
- In between the two villages is Fondle, who are the site of the de facto midfield. The ball is there somewhere. Sometimes they try to hide it so the game can't happen, sometimes they just leave it out in the hopes the game passes through no problem. Either way their town gets trashed. (50 exp)
- The church bell rings, and the game is on! The mob of players starts running towards Fondle, cheered on by their families on rooftops! But horrifyingly, as they clear the edge of the forest, skin kites can be seen wafting through the air. (50 exp)

- Screams and yells greet the sight, some picking up the pace and others hanging back. Right near the party, two kites have descended on unlucky runners. (50 exp)
- One has managed to get caught up in the branches of a fallen tree. Bertha takes it out with a clean hit from POWERLAD's crossbow. He'd be so proud. (50 exp)
- As she goes over to help the partially skinned victim, Larry's Legends sprint in and burn it back with torches. To their dismay, the skin kite does not die and instead reaps a bunch of skin from the Extras, even after Relford the Retainer heaves in with an ineffective hammer. (50 exp)
- The Legends finish it off, but it's too late for the skinless victim. Alas. (50 exp)
- Bertha reaches the other victim, an old lady called Beryl, and inspects her partially skinned hand. It looks bad, but Larry's Legends spit on it with their surprisingly effective First Aid spit. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson searches the other body and finds a mildly valuable gem. He is triggered due to its similarities to the rock that gave him a split personality and chucks it, but luckily an Extra is there to grab it before it hits the ground. (50 exp)

- Beryl knows of a doctor in Fiskit and offers to lead the party there. Unfortunately the football game has reached Fondle and is now heading back in the party's direction! The group hurriedly move out of the way and go country to avoid the game. (50 exp)
- As they crest a hill on the approach to the road, the party witness an army contingent bearing down on a band of Necromancers! At their head, a Cleric who is berating a black-robed figure on a skeletal horse. (50 exp)
- The party jog in with Bertha at the head, asking what's going on here. It seems the Necromancers have come too far south and breached a boundary somewhere. The Necromancer says he didn't realise he'd already crossed the border. Argue argue argue. (50 exp)
- Bertha does an absolutely amazing diplomatic job, talking the Cleric down and arguing that it was clearly an honest mistake and there are more pressing issues in the football game to the south. (50 exp)
- The Cleric comes round, mollified by Necromancer's promises to leave for the Dead Zone immediately, and takes her troops to break up the stupid football game. (50 exp)
- In thanks, the Necromancer force offers Bertha a skeletal horse. Unfortunately she's not strong enough to control it yet! But he does tell Bertha to give them his name in Necropolis if she ever wants to requisition supplies or skeleton horses. (50 exp)
- Finally, as the day draws long, the party make it to Fiskit. It's a rather steep seaside town, and out to sea the tops of sunken spires can be seen thrusting above the waves. And of course, sea salties are being sold all along the main streets by raggedy saltie-sellers. (50 exp)

- Beryl leads everyone to the doctor's practice she's heard about. The doctor is called Elenor, and her shop is full of strange incense and leeches and other weird early doctory stuff. (50 exp)
- She salves Beryl's hand, and says that she specialises in the treatment of diseases. Convenient! The party scrape together enough money to pay for her services for the next three days, with the promise that there'll be more in Helix when they get there, and she agrees to join them. (50 exp)
- She also lets the party stay overnight, since it's getting late. They head out the following morning bright and early. (50 exp)
- On the way back, they head through Fatknob. The despondent locals tell them that they lost the football match, and that the cops tried to break up the game. (50 exp)
- Continuing on, after an hour or so of walking some drag marks are seen going off the side of the road into a small copse. Investigation is broken off when the awful smell and yellowish slime of ghouls is found. Fuck that. (50 exp)
- As they go through Treehole, Larry and his Legends drop Beryl off back at her house, and impose long enough for her to make them all tea. (50 exp)
- Finally, after a good few hours walking, the party make it back to Helix! Hooray! In their absence, Zena and POWERLAD have been wasting away to fever. (50 exp)
- The doctor is in! She diagnoses and thinks she knows a cure. It involves smearing the blood-honey from the spore crazed bees in the Quenchless Mouth of Many over their naked bodies, then passing flames above them until the honey is dry and cracked. The disease will flake away with the honey. (50 exp)
- "Uh fuck yea do that" says Bertha. Dr Elenor disappears off for a little while, and comes back with pots of red honey. A nailbiting series of boosted rolls results in nothing less than a total cure for POWERLAD, Zena, and even Borodin! What a result! (50 exp)

- Thanks Eleanor profusely for her lifesaving treatment, POWERLAD and Bertha set her up with a new business in Helix to be their on-call doctor. Honey Healing is here! It'll lose a Physician's monthly wage each month (so keep topping it up) but this way the business will help subsidise! (50 exp)
Total: 1500 exp

Misc:
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Rescue bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOOoOoOky bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:
- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)
- Caller (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Fraser / Tippin - 100 exp)- Treasurer (Sunni / Larry's Legends - 100 exp)

- Guard (Kitty / Bertha - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Fraser - 500 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Fraser*2 - 100 exp ea.)
- Art Attack bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- Fiction Fanatic bonus (Kitty - 100 exp)

Rumours:
- I forgot!

Active Businesses:
- Bone Alone. Wild. 369sp. (Zena's Stake: 246sp, Carrie's Stake: 123sp)
- Spicy Mac's Spices. Risky. 4000sp.
- Honey Healing. Safe. 2400sp. (Nix's Stake: 2000sp. Bertha's Stake: 400sp)

Out of Action:
- Gimlass. Broken Collarbone. Healed by: 2nd November 1660.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Remarkably, none!

Exp Totals:
- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 1 Necromancer: 1058 (Level up at 2250)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 1 Elf (Alpdrucke): 858 (Level up at 3000)
--- Relford, Level 0 Hireling
- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

Absent or Retired:- Fraser / Nix Neckbiter, Level 6 Barbarian: 50471 (Level up at 64000)- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 46331 (Level up at 72000)
- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)
- James / Ratimir, Level 3 Ratman: 3761 (Level up at 6000)
- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 24337 (Level up at 28000)
- Nix's Retainer--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling
- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)
- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)
- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)
- Ollie / Andromeda Spiderbite, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19872 (Level up at 36000)
- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)
- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)