Session 170 - Boss Rush

Plans go successfully! Angels are smashed up, the spider queen is captured, and everything goes pretty well!
Also, destruction of plant life on a massive scale. Uh oh.

Welcome to Issy who's playing our new Dwarf! Amazingly enough in these end times, her prior profession was as a false prophet.
I write these obnoxiously lengthy recaps every week. If you truly want to see everything that's ever happened it's up on this blog, but I really don't expect anyone to read all that.

So to get you up to speed here's all you really need to know:
- There is an enormous tentacle beast in the core of the Earth. It is rising and fracturing the planet. The world is ending. 

- The party's overarching goal seems to be to daisy-chain a solution to the apocalypse by using world-ending threats to kill other world-ending threats
- Current plan: help a dragon cult to make a virulent poison so powerful it will destroy the tentacle beast. Hopefully something that won't kill everything else at the same time.

- Timothy graces us with the chained up spider queen in his inaugural art attack!

- Make that TWO spidery art attacks!

- Charles continues the Galaxy Johnson meme train!

- I doodle the mountainside light show!

Session 170 - Boss Rush

Campaign Date:

Friday, 12 February, 1601

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent

Zodiac: Capricorn

New Characters:
- Sturdy, a Dwarf who left her homeland and basically blagged her way across the country as a False Prophet. Has a loyal lackey called Lofty, an extremely poorly crafted Inclusion that's as tall as a human.

New Backstory:

- As we all know, Randy's planned excursion into the Barrowmaze with his best friends and his lover went horribly wrong when they abandoned him down a hole. (+2 to AC and Saves for 10 minutes when a plan goes horribly awry)

Enemies Defeated:

- 2 boss angels (2000 exp)
- 2 upgraded angels (200 exp)
- 2 baby giant spiders (100 exp)
- Arach-Nacha the Spider Queen (100 exp)

Total: 2400 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 8 Azoth Coins (800 exp)
- Some bits of angel, including an arm
- The arm and hand of a Caretaker
- A spider statue set with malachite (500 exp)
- A spider statue set with zircon (5000 exp)
- A key card with a familiar symbol
- Sparking electric-blue spider babies
- Arach-Nacha the Spider Queen, in a bag

Total: 6300 exp

Exploration:

- Explored 10 or so dungeon rooms (200 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Events:

- POWERLAD heals astonishingly quickly, even sleeping rough in the party's rough campsite. The scales under his skin glow softly green when he sleeps. (50 exp)
- While he rests, others prepare for glorious battle against the angel at the red doors on the other side of the mountain by lowering a bucket down the hole into the Moon Pool. (50 exp)

- Mori sneaks off around the mountainside to scout out the angel situation. There's one big boss angel looking pretty rickety, a single mid-tier angel with its bottom hemisphere opened out into legs, and one normal spherical one just sitting there. (50 exp)
- This is relayed to the rest of the party, who hatch a plan. (50 exp)
- Some time later, the plan is ready. Everyone but POWERLAD is hiding up on the mountainside. Sir Robyn listens into the angel singing and hears the big one pinging the giant six-winged angel in the sky for reinforcements. (50 exp)

- POWERLAD, on the other side of the mountain, sings for backup then blasts up into the sky! It's too far for his voice to reach but it was a nice idea. (50 exp)
- Midair, he pulls out his great hammer, dramatically hulks out, and falls towards the boss angel! (50 exp)
- On the mountainside, the rest of the party see the falling figure crackling with lightning, plummeting towards the angel. They open fire! (50 exp)
- Mori's beam is a direct hit! The electricity arcs between the angel's spinning shards of sphere, heavily damaging it and throwing its spinning rings out of alignment. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn blasts at it with dual pistols, and while Galaxy Johnson misses he does find that the crystal focus glove works great now! (50 exp)

- POWERLAD blasts down from the heavens moments later... but the ranged attacks has made the angel flinch and his orbital drop hammer blow juuuust misses, to his great chagrin (50 exp)
- The angel configures its wings into cannons and blasts POWERLAD, but it's too damaged and one of the cannons explodes! (50 exp)

- The blast throws off POWERLAD's hammer blow. Not again!! The smallest spherical angel rolls up close to him, but he doesn't care. (50 exp)
- Successive Explosion beams blast the second-tier angel back away from the cliffside, it staggers backwards returning fire, but Randy's cover is too good. (50 exp)
- Up on the mountainside Mori fucks up spectacularly, the errant lightning beam falters, trails across the inside of Randy's shield, reflects back and forth across the landscape, and somehow ends up zapping Mori himself! He spasms on the ground, paralyzed by his own lightning. (50 exp)

- POWERLAD hears the laughter from the mountainside and assumes they're laughing at him! Angrily, he smashes the shit out of the boss angel with the hammer, destroying it in one mighty blow! A low clear note like a bell rings out. "The bell tolls for THEE motherfucker!" he roars. (50 exp)
- Behind him, the blasted-back second tier angel freezes. Sir Robyn hears it sing out " -- hierarchy disrupted -- emergency upgrade --" on loop, a song picked up by the small angel near POWERLAD as both their singing voices drop down a couple of ranges. (50 exp)
- The second tier angel's upper hemisphere expands out into the spinning rings and sphere-fragments of a boss angel, while the other upgrades to take its place. "Kill the smaller one first!" POWERLAD yells. (50 exp)
- Just then, as if from nowhere, a stocky Dwarf riding a lanky Inclusion runs down the mountainside to attack the angel that's next to POWERLAD!... but they trip before getting close. (50 exp)
- The boss angel reconfigures its wings into a swirl of contra-rotating pieces, and the air around it starts going weird as a stasis field begins to form around it (50 exp)
- Beams and bullets are shot at the angel to no avail, creating strange and stuttering fractal patterns and afterimages where they touch the partially-formed field. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD's had enough of this. He gambits, grabbing the angel next to him and jumping high up into the air! The angel sings in alarm as they blast down towards the ground! (50 exp)
- It takes a massive amount of falling damage. There is a massive electrical explosion, framing POWERLAD inside a crater of blackened metal. (50 exp)

"IT DIES"

- The boss angel is the only one remaining, but it's inside the stasis field it seems invulnerable. Mori electric beams it to no avail, and rocks seem to slowly roll down the curve of the shield as it slowly simmers away. (50 exp)
- Everyone has a picnic and occasionally chucks stuff at the stasis shell. Not even bits of dead angel go through. It's slowly decreasing in size, but it's taking ages. (50 exp)
- Randy, meanwhile, has realised that this new Dwarf is a woman! Excessively rare, in their mutual Dwarven arcology of Ur-Kalladh the men have to craft their sons from rock and gems. He doesn't know the first thing about how to talk to Dwarf women. (50 exp)
- Distantly, then quickly closer, a deep deep braaaaammmm like a deep bass trumpet travels across the land. It's clearly being relayed by the six-winged angels high above. (50 exp)
- Sir Robyn hears a repeated " -- Prophecy Confirmed -- Trumpet Sounded -- ". This is ominous. Sir Robyn tries to remember his Revelations. (50 exp)
- Disturbed by the sounding of the trumpet and the potential rain of fire across the land, the party decide to head into Dwimmermount and capture the spider queen. (50 exp)
- A chain is inscribed with Enlarge runes, the idea being that they'll get the queen to step in it then turn off the runes, trapping her. Galaxy Johnson expresses his displeasure, but goes along with it. (50 exp)
- The entrance hall within is as it was. Headless statues of gods and goddesses, buckets on the floor, oil everywhere, a bunch of dead Inclusions. (50 exp)
- They call out, but there's no reply. Mori has the map, so he points the way forward into the main corridors. (50 exp)
- Part way down, they find wispy webs and hear quiet spidery voices. Sir Robyn, again, leads negotiations. The spiders are very small for giant spider and say they'll pay good coins for someone to kill the angels ahead. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson shadow-warps past them and checks out where the angels are allegedly supposed to be... no angels. (50 exp)
- The spiders are surprised by this news. No angels?! So they can get out of here?! (50 exp)
- They give the party their 8 azoth coins, or "Zothcoins" as Galaxy Johnson insists on calling them. Score! One of the baby spiders comes with them to lead the party to mummy, the other scrambles for the exit. (50 exp)

- They reach the spider queen's cave without incident, other than a constant flow of azoth-enriched air making fires both mundane and magical burn clean and strong. (50 exp)
- Galaxy Johnson calls to his queen and she emerges. He asks for her blessing and she kisses him again, wriggling her long slick tongue down his throat. This time, her tongue scoops out countless eggs and tiny spiderlings. (50 exp)
- The rest of the party, especially those who received her "gifts" earlier in the week, look on in horror. (50 exp)
- At least his poison immunity is topped up for another week. (50 exp)
- Dreading the consequences, the rest of the party allow her to give them their "shots". The spiders emerging from POWERLAD's belly have a noticeably blue colour. (50 exp)
- Finally, the party present the spider queen the chain, alleging it to be a gift from Ninhursag itself. The queen gladly puts it on, marveling at the strange runes, before the rune is depowered and the chain shrinks around her! (50 exp)
- She screams betrayal at Galaxy Johnson as the party pull Santa's sack over the fat ensnared body of the spider queen. Galaxy Johnson hides his sadness and guilt poorly. (50 exp)

- Some of the spilled eggs are scooped up in the hopes of raising the demon spiders as pets. More importantly, the queen's lair is unguarded! (50 exp)
- Inside the lair they find a few valuable spider statues and, crucially, a rectangular device with a very familiar symbol! It's got to be a keycard for that big main door! (50 exp)

- Dragging the queen's body behind them, the party leave by the Dwarf door. Now to get to Moondin before all these eggs explode from their bellies... (50 exp)

Total: 2300 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)

- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)

- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)

- Doolittle bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)

- Freudian bonus (50 exp)

- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)

- Henchman Abuse bonus (50 exp)

- Mad Inventor bonus (50 exp)

- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)

- Mountaineer bonus (50 exp)

- Operator as Fuck bonus (50 exp)

- PETA bonus (50 exp)

- Poison is OP bonus (50 exp)

- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)

- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)

- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)

- Shunga bonus (50 exp)

- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)

- WWE bonus (50 exp)

Total: 1300 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Charles / Galaxy Johnson - 100 exp)

- Caller (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Mapper (Fraser / Mori - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Fraser / Mori - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Guard (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Timothy / Sir Robyn - 100 exp)

- Art Attack bonus (Charles, Timothy - 100 exp ea.)
- Artapalooza bonus (Charles, Timothy - 100 exp)
- Chippo Man bonus (Timothy*2 - 200 exp)
- Office Supply Filcher bonus (Charles - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Fraser, Timothy, Issy - 500 exp ea.)

Active Businesses:

- Honey Healing. Safe. 1106sp. (Bertha)  Up 1%

- Knickers Gloves Bodices. Risky. 1030sp. (Ratimir)
- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 515sp. (Sir Robyn)  Up 2%! 

Rumours:

- -

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Not even one!

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / POWERLAD!, Level 7 Muscle Wizard: 82659 (Level up at 144000)-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 5 (-25% exp)
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 5 Elf (Alpdrucke): 34191 (Level up at 48000)-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 2 (-10% exp)  

- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 5 Magic-User: 19970 (Level up at 36000)*DING!* +1d4 HP! +1 level 3 spell/day! +1 level 1 spell/day! +free spell! +backstory!

--- Randy, Level 4 Hench-Dwarf: 9884 (Level up at 17600)--- Gav, Level 0 Inclusion- Fraser / Mori, Level 4 Elf (Worriganger): 19438 (Level up at 24000)
- Issy / Sturdy, Level 2 Dwarf: 2773 (Level up at 4400)
*DING!* +1d10 HP! +optional lorebond! +backstory!

Absent or Retired:

- Ollie / Synthia, Level 4 Inheritor: 16935 (Level up at 18000) 
- James / Ratimir, Level 5 Ratman: 20944 (Level up at 24000) 

- Tom / Clarence Eclair, Level 3 Specialist: 3040 (Level up at 6000)

- Tom / Aces Fontaine, Level 1 Specialist: 869 (Level up at 1500)
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 9931 (Level up at 18000)- Imran / Friar, Level 1 Magic User: 1040 (Level up at 2250)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 5 Cleric: 25557 (Level up at 28000)

- Yuri / Bjorn Gunnerson, Level 2 Barbarian: 2278 (Level up at 4000)

- Sunni / Larry's Legends, Level 1 Extras: 758 (Level up at 1500)

- Fraser / Tippin, Level 1 Ratman: 1458 (Level up at 1500)

- Charles / Zena, Level 6 Fighter: 41566 (Level up at 64000)

- Tom / Meteor Power Shower, Level 2 Barbarian: 3061 (Level up at 4000)

- Nix's Retainer

--- Huz, Level 0 Hireling

- Tom / Spicy Mac, Level 2 Halfling: 3457 (Level up at 4000)

- Eleanor / Mugg, Level 2 Fighter: 2357 (Level up at 4000)

- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)

- Amar / Amar's Cleric, Level 1 Cleric: 1413 (Level up at 1750)

- Henry / Henry's Next Character: +2084 exp

- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)

- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

- Eglė / Bob, Level 1 Dwarf: 434 (Level up at 2200)

- Will / Cecil Fulbright, Level 5 Cleric (Termaxian): 15063 (Level up at 28000)

- James / William Fox-Shitt, Level 3 Cleric (Zeanist): 4571 (Level up at 7000)