Session 255 - Fangs for the Memories

Finally, some downtime!
Our heroes get in a bit of trouble in their new town of Neo Spacedin, defuse a potentially deadly situation, and shotgun a dinosaur in the head!

Session 255 - Fangs for the Memories

Date:

February. 15 years after the End.

Character List:

- Andromeda, Andromedan Vampire / Kitty - Red, Duellist Fighter / Timothy- Ratman, Ratman / Izzy
- Nobody, Barbarian / George - Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Cleric of the New Eden / Ollie - Luna, Vampire Thrall / Jonnathan

Downtime:
- Funeral held for Flowers Penurious
-- Attendees: Nobody, Luna, Beepbox, Andromeda, Ratman. (5423 exp ea.)
- Carousing!
-- Carousers:
--- Nobody: 3600 exp
--- Luna: 2800 exp
--- Beepbox: 1200 exp
--- Andromeda: 4000 exp
--- Ratman: 1000 exp

Foes:

- A vengeful Achillobator (250 exp)
- An ambushed Gigantosaurus (1500 exp)
Total: 1750 exp

Events:

--- Down and Out in Neo Spacedin
- The party is back at their camp, looking at their wagons full of preserved food, wondering how they’ll get them back to the new town of Neo Spacedin without their various steeds. Thankfully, a bunch of space marines show up to help them get it all home! Lovely!
- They’re soon back in Neo Spacedin and it’s been a long long time since they were able to just spend some time in a town. They’ve built up a lot of social capital by healing the rift between man and Mod-Con. Currency is out, social capital is in! It’s space communism baby!
- They’ve also got to hold a wake for poor Flowers Penurious. Andromeda gets to work consecrating a new Church of POWERLAD to have the funeral in. She can’t enter it without crippling her vampire powers, but that’s a small price to pay for religion!
- They spend a month in Neo Spacedin in the end, though Nobody’s barbarian presence makes the debauchery that much more debauched. Nobody is conned by a conman. Luna has a strange sexual situation with a genderswapped version of herself and a literal swine. Beepbox gambles big on drone races and loses. Ratman is just a massive bell-end all night and gets a bad reputation.
- Only Andromeda survives the carousing unscathed, despite having consumed by far the most booze (or at least, booze-soaked blood) and ending up like a horrific tick sitting at the bar.

--- On the Road Again
- We come back to the party as they’re preparing to set off from Neo Spacedin. The new town is lovely, but these barrels of iron rations are practically worthless here since they’ve got all the pizza they’d ever want via the UFO’s replicators.
- Unfortunately the rain is torrential so they’ve got to wait a few days. Andromeda sends a space marine, name of Private Parts, off to Mt Death Frost to inform the vampires of the nation-state of Neo Spacedin. Her message to Bertha - they are independent of Styx and seek an alliance.
- The marine returns a few days later as the party’s wagon-train prepares to set off. He’s significantly more pale and has big fangs now. Obviously a vampire! In his woozy bloodless state he tells Andromeda the message from the vampires… “We’re coming”.

- Andromeda and Red decide to hang back at Neo Spacedin to confront the oncoming vampires in case there’s some sort of combat situation. The others leave in the wagon train, presuming that their slow off-road speed will make it easy for the others to catch them up. Onwards!

--- Revenge of the Achillobator
- Proudly ensconced in their upgraded wagons, the wagon train rumbles off over the savannah. Their goal - hit the edge of the jungle then follow it down to the edge of the dome. From there they can follow the dome itself around to the exit.
- The wagons themselves have been upgraded by various ridiculous means into specialised off-road vehicles, powered by jet-packs, drones, and even living segways. Beepbox has managed to create an emoji-based communication method with his new friend the drone, and upgraded it with a ray-gun so he can authorise drone strikes.
- As they reach the jungle, Nobody sees eyes flashing at him from the ferns. Thinking nothing of it, he follows the wagon train as they turn south to follow the jungle’s edge… and a huge raptor-like dinosaur bursts from the underbrush and leaps at the side of his wagon! It’s the same achillobator that was possessed by Galaxy Johnson, here for revenge!
- As the creature’s massive claw slashes in through the window and scrapes his skin, he reaches for the shotgun he picked up from Neo Spacedin! Nobody blasts at it and cries for help!
- Unfortunately everybody else’s wild shots back at his wagon hit Nobody. Nobody screams, rays and beams peppering him, firing another shotgun shell into the dinosaur’s jaw! Luna shudders, an alien force manifesting through her body, and shadowy tendrils bind the dinosaur to the ground!
- The beast reels, pulled away from the moving wagon by the binding shadow, and Beepbox’s drone flies past with its rotors whirring! The achillobator’s head is severed from its body, plopping into Nobody’s lap and bleeding all over the upholstery.
- He kicks it into the passenger seat and jumps out of the slow-moving wagon. Nobody slices the beast’s huge claws off to use as daggers. Nobody’s first nemesis - defeated!

--- The Vampires Cometh

- Meanwhile in Neo Spacedin, Andromeda sees the horizon full of black specks as hundreds of bats swarm towards the town. She waves the last of the town’s population into her new church, they’ll be safer from the vampires in there. The body of Private Parts is in there too - he asked to be unvampired by Bertha, so she sucked him dry. He’ll be back to normal if exposed to dawn’s light.
- Bertha descends amongst a cloud of bats. It’s tense… until Bertha starts talking and apologises for the worry! Turns out Private Parts was a bit of an idiot and got the wrong end of the stick! She agrees not to suck anyone without consent and to form a general anti-Styx alliance. All is well!
- They draw up a contract and prepare to sign in blood, when suddenly the wording of the contract shifts and shimmers and Andromeda’s hand bursts off! The hand blackens and withers and suddenly grows into a spider-priest! She looks back at her arm and finds her hand is still there, but the spider-priest is very real!
- He tells them that he’s been cursed with legal knowledge, charged with notarising contracts by Sir Robyn who keeps turning up despite being dead in every timeline. After chatting with Red and the ghost of Lonely Blade, the contract is duly notarised! Hurrah!
- With the situation resolved amicably, Red and Andromeda jump-pack back along the wagon-tracks to catch up with the rest of the party.

--- The Sun Gun
- They catch up a few hours later, finding the rest of the party with their wagons parked discussing what to do about the massive theropod stomping around a strange black obelisk a quarter mile away.
- They’ve got the jump on it, so they decide to go all-out! Red unloads a hail of riflefire, Nobody fires a magna-cannon, Beepbox snipes with his beam rifle, and Ratman sends in a couple of rats with grenades! The Gigantosaurus is practically blown to bits, with Andromeda taking the kill via a bat-form aerial drop onto its neck. It didn’t stand a chance!
- The grenade did something strange to the obelisk though. A voice echoing in everyone’s minds booms out that the local star will be swapped for another in 30 standard time intervals. The party look at each other in concern… the sun’s going to be swapped?!
- Beepbox comes to the rescue! Using his miraculous ability to speak with anything, he lays a hand on the obelisk and speaks to its machine spirit. He manages to deactivate the sun-swap protocol and undeploy the obelisk. It folds down like paper and reveals a silver cylinder within.
- Wondering why the fuck anybody would want this device, least of all need it, Andromeda flies up in bat-form to the still-ascending DJ-GJ hybrid. Galaxy Johnson says he brought it from his homeworld because it seemed rad, it must have fallen out in the crash!
- We end the session on a speculative note. What if they actually fired the gun at the sun? What if a vampire ended up inside the sun? What would happen to the planet if the sun was a different size? Beepbox insists he should be able to reprogram it to swap anything… but what would he do with such power? Only time can tell...

Total: 5000 exp

Team Bonus:

- Ace Attorney bonus
- Balls to the Wall bonus
- Brutal Kill bonus
- Diplomancy bonus
- Dramatic Battle bonus
- Fame bonus
- Holy bonus
- Leave a Man Behind bonus
- Ludicrous Gore bonus
- Noblebright bonus
- PETA bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- Schindler’s bonus
- Social Justice Warrior bonus
- Split the Party bonus
- Tactical Fighting bonus

Total: 800 exp

Individual Bonus:

- Chronicler (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Expedition Leader (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Cartographer (Kitty / Andromeda - 100 exp)
- Paymaster (Izzy / Ratman - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Jonnathan / Luna - 100 exp)

- Vanguard (George / Nobody - 100 exp)
- Triage (Ollie / Beepbox - 100 exp)
- Chef (Ollie / Beepbox - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty - 500 exp)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 7 Andromedan Vampire: 136044 (Level up at 144000)

- Tim / Red, Level 7 Duellist Fighter: 73121 (Level up at 128000)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 7 Ratman: 63420 (Level up at 96000)

- George / Nobody, Level 5 Barbarian: 31282 (Level up at 32000)

- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 5 Cleric of the New Eden: 20737 (Level up at 28000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1d6 Healing Pool! +1 Faith! +Saves Improve! +Backstory!

- Jonnathan / Luna, Level 4 Vampire Thrall: 12718 (Level up at 18000)
Level Up! +1 HP! +Backstory!
Level Up! +1 HP! +Backstory!