Session 254 - A New God Rises, Flowers Falls

Session 254 - A New God Rises, Flowers Falls

Date:

January. 15 years after the End.

Character List:

- Andromeda, Digital Supply Chain Manager / Kitty

- DJ, Intergalacticist Cleric / Charles
- Flowers Penurious, Fighter / George
- Ratman, Ratman / Izzy
- Nobody, Barbarian / George

New Characters:
- Nobody, a Barbarian who fears shadow dinosaurs and cannot speak English yet.

Loot:

- An alarmingly large amount of Mod-Con loot, claimed via founding a town around the stash rather than taking the stash to a town! (80 000 exp)
- A submachine gun
Total: 80 000 exp

Foes:

- A lot of little stupid Styx-Slimes (60 exp)
- Four massive angry Styx-Slimes (400 exp)
- Galaxy Achillobator (1000 exp)
Total: 1460 exp

Events:

--- Brave New Town: Neo Spacedin!
- After the orgy everyone is in the spaceship getting showers in the non-gendered shower rooms and eating pizza from the food replicators. DJ and Alice are cool now, and she’s becomes the new leader of these indome space cadets after the mysterious disappearance of their dinosaur-riding previous command.
- The ship is working, but generally fucked and unable to fly. Considering it’s populated and has food supplies and all the rest, the party decide to found the place as a proper town!
- Neo Spacedin! It is to be a tent city surrounding the high-tech hub of the crashed UFO, a place where Mod-Cons and humans can live in harmony!

--- Slime Diversion
- A warning about a stegosaurus outside leads to DJ meeting a slimy mucousy creature with the shape of Styx’s face poking out of it. It’s extremely dumb. After much pointless questioning, Flowers Penurious grabs it and there is a sudden bellow of anger from the ridge above!
- It’s more slimes. Lots more slimes. Slow beige slimes and big red fiery angry slimes. The party decide to fight in order to establish Neo Spacedin’s sovereignty! DJ, by contrast, is completely unimpressed by what is clearly going to be a big distraction that eats up a chunk of the session.
- Spoilers; he was right.
- Combat Highlights -
- The red slimes are tough and set you on fire on hit! Andromeda is lit ablaze in the opening skirmish.
- Flowers Penurious shoves a grenade into a slime and chucks it at a big red slime to contain the explosion.
- His next attempt to do the same thing fumbles dramatically, and he dives on the grenade. Attempts to save Flowers’ life take up much of the combat, since he keeps getting lit on fire.
- Pepper Handsome is killed by a slime, leaving Mydog Smith as the last surviving minion.
- Ratman sends his rats to harry the slimes, dealing a lot of consistent long-term damage, then gets to work blasting the slimes with a laser gun.
- DJ abducts one of the red slimes, but he’s out of luck for the other. Starting a combat before people have had a chance to rest went poorly!
- Finally the space marines from inside the UFO pile out of the ship and the ship’s vulcan cannons open fire, laying down support as the party retreats.

--- The Death of Flowers
- With stumps for hands and second-degree burns all over his body, not to mention all the grenade shrapnel, Flowers Penurious is in a bad way. He contemplates suicide, but it’s a sin.

- Mydog Smith persuades Andromeda to drain Flowers’ life and put him out of his misery. She does so with sadness and regret, and Flowers Penurious dies a peaceful death. RIP.

--- Galaxy Dino

- The next day, feeling refreshed and restored, the party prepares to set off back to their camp site and the vast amounts of food-loot stored there. A quick trip there and back. Simple!
- At the camp, bodies are rotting in the moist jungle air. It begins to rain, very atmospheric. There is a noise from the canopy, and brachiating down to the ground comes a wild man! He cannot seem to speak, but seems friendly enough. Welcome, Nobody the Barbarian.

--- Galaxy Dino
- Andromeda spots a red glow moving amongst the trees. The party head right for it through the thick jungle! Andromeda’s various visual modes pick out the dinosaur as they approach, and it suddenly disappears!
- DJ spots a shadowy smoke emerging in the dense foliage nearby and tries to Abduct it. A beam of light shines down, pulling a long dinosaur claw from the writhing shadows… a long claw holding a gun!!
- It resists the Abduction though, and the shadows explode into a cloying unnatural smokescreen. There is a menacing “chk-chk” and a loud “BRAAAP” as the dinosaur opens fire! Nobody gets instantly taken to 0 HP and flies into a rage.
- DJ lets out a chillwave to calm him down before he hurts someone, but Nobody runs from the field to get away! The dinosaur gives chase, hunting him down through the trees!
- Andromeda gives chase via her void pet’s void-warping abilities while the others pursue via more conventional methods. She sees Nobody in trouble and warps in towards the dinosaur, seizing the red gem from its chest!
- Nobody swiftly climbs out of reach of the now ordinary achillobator, which stands there confused. Nobody shoots the gun out of its hand with his musket from his perch, and the dinosaur runs off into the jungle! Nobody’s last look at it is the menacing red gleam in its eyes...

--- The Assumption of Dustin Johnson

- Andromeda has the red gem compressed inside her void pet, which seems increasingly scared about whatever it contains. She reaches inside and touches the gem and a voice echoes inside her mind! It’s Galaxy Johnson! The real Galaxy Johnson! In the crystal flesh!
- He wants a body to inhabit. He basically possessed the first thing that came across him after landing here, and he needs a body to get anything done. 

- There is a noise behind her. Dustin Johnson stumbles out of the underbrush.
- He falls to his knees in supplication and Galaxy Johnson, the God of the Smonk, Memes and Fried Chicken, enters his body. He is filled with the power of Galaxy Johnson and a pale smoky light engulfs him, raising him into the sky at 10’ per round forever!
-Those below stare in wonder as Man and God combine into a creature greater than them both, ascending always into heaven!
- Last booming words echo down from on high...

- “First person to lick it and say no take-backsies gets the chicken shop!!!”

Total: 6000 exp

Team Bonus:

- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus
- Balls to the Wall bonus
- Best of Intentions bonus
- Better Part of Valour bonus
- Brutal Kill bonus
- Classic Charles bonus
- Diplomancy bonus
- Dramatic Battle bonus
- Dramatic Chase bonus
- Dramatic Escape bonus
- Dramatic Rescue bonus
- Fame bonus
- High as Fuck bonus
- Holy bonus
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus
- Ludicrous Gore bonus
- Noblebright bonus
- Pundemonium bonus
- Pyrrhic Victory bonus
- SpoOoOoky bonus
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus
- Why Did You Eat That bonus

Total: 1200 exp

Individual Bonus:

- Chronicler (Charles / Charles’ Next Character - 100 exp)
- Expedition Leader (George / Nobody - 100 exp)
- Cartographer (Izzy / Ratman - 100 exp)
- Paymaster (Charles / Charles’ Next Character - 100 exp)
- Quartermaster (Kitty / Digital Supply Chain Manager - 100 exp)

- Vanguard (George / Nobody - 100 exp)
- Triage (Kitty / Digital Supply Chain Manager - 100 exp)
- Chef (Izzy / Ratman - 100 exp)
- JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Izzy, Charles - 500 exp ea.)
- Prosecco Princess bonus (Digital Supply Chain Manager - 1000 exp)
- An Hero bonus (Flowers Penurious - 200 exp)
- Tragic Death bonus (Flowers Penurious - 500 exp)
- Good End bonus (Dustin Johnson - 500 exp)
- Famous Last Words bonus (Dustin Johnson - 200 exp)
- Death’s Witness bonus (Everyone else - 100 exp ea.)

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 7 Digital Supply Chain Manager: 124562 (Level up at 144000)

- Izzy / Ratman, Level 7 Ratman: 55638 (Level up at 96000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! Max Rats = 49! +Backstory! 

- Charles / Dustin Johnson, Level 8 Intergalacticist Cleric
*ASCENSION TO GODHOOD*

- George / Nobody, Level 5 Barbarian: 20900 (Level up at 32000)
Level Up! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Rolls! +Backstory!

Level Up! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Rolls! +Backstory!

Level Up! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Rolls! +Backstory!

Level Up! +1d8 HP! +2 Barbarian Rolls! +Backstory!
- Charles / Charles’ Next Character: +21400 exp