With COVID-19 knocking on our doors, it's time for a long sought-after adventure - the Moon!
Flying up there in the USS Seraphim, the party is railroaded into a new adventure that'll be easier to run over video chat.
Seems to be ok so far!
Session 261 - Railroad to Heaven!
Date:
April. 15 years after the End.
New Characters:
- Wormwood, a shape-shifting torturer who tagged along from Earth.
- Mickey, a janitor on the spaceship feeling very out of place.
New Backstory:
- Jeremy Wizard used to think he was real good at Guitar Hero back in the Styxtrix. He entered a tournament to gain some much-needed premium gems, and the crowd went wild when he… completely lost the game! +1 Music skill
Loot:
- 1018 octagonal dwarf-gold pieces (1018 exp)
- Vial of holy water
- Self-Repair Shield
- Book #153 - “The Nature of Pre-Birth” (100 exp)
- Book #403 - “Ur-Gallukh, City of Tiles” (100 exp)
- 7 rusty old guns (700 exp)
- 2 ammo canisters (200 exp)
Total: 2118 exp
- Wormwood, a shape-shifting torturer who tagged along from Earth.
- Mickey, a janitor on the spaceship feeling very out of place.
New Backstory:
- Jeremy Wizard used to think he was real good at Guitar Hero back in the Styxtrix. He entered a tournament to gain some much-needed premium gems, and the crowd went wild when he… completely lost the game! +1 Music skill
Loot:
- 1018 octagonal dwarf-gold pieces (1018 exp)
- Vial of holy water
- Self-Repair Shield
- Book #153 - “The Nature of Pre-Birth” (100 exp)
- Book #403 - “Ur-Gallukh, City of Tiles” (100 exp)
- 7 rusty old guns (700 exp)
- 2 ammo canisters (200 exp)
Total: 2118 exp
Foes:
- 8 robots (600 exp)
- A roomful of alien rats (50 exp)
- A robot ghost (75 exp)
Total: 725 exp
- 8 robots (600 exp)
- A roomful of alien rats (50 exp)
- A robot ghost (75 exp)
Total: 725 exp
Events:
--- Moonshot
- With the situation in New Moondin solved, Red asks the Lady a question - can this Seraphim fly to the Moon??
- The answer is yes! After some brief retroactive purchasing in New Moondin, the party is off to space!
- They arc up into low-earth orbit and the Lady adjusts the Seraphim’s trajectory. It’s a pretty chill journey, and after an hour or so the Moon is bright before them!
- There is a pulse as something else comes into sight - rising behind the Moon itself is a second, red moon! The Lady screams as another pulse sends the Seraphim’s systems offline, sending the massive angel-ship crash-landing into the real Moon…
- Strangely the error messages seem to suggest that the Seraphim’s systems will be down for the length of the real-world coronavirus quarantine! It seems it’s the moon or nothing, now.
--- Shrub Nigeria
- The doors hiss open, letting in the moon’s thin but surprisingly breathable atmosphere. The impact crater is green for some reason. A banana man in a rasta hat appears from a nearby hut and yells at them - they crashed on his astroturf!
- Yes it seems that the dumb meme legends were true - Shrub Nigeria, the stoner meme moon man born of an autocorrect mistake back in 2018, is alive!
- He informs them that they are being railroaded into a nearby megadungeon, that this dungeon hasn’t been touched in millenia, and that they should watch out for robot ghosts.
- They go, moon-hopping across the dusty lunar surface! Choo choo!
--- The Gatehouse
- The party arrives at the dungeon entrance - a hole in the side of the central peak of a massive crater - and enters the cave within. There is a large pool of silvery water, and an obvious door! They put some special astroturf on the weighing scales nearby and the door rubiks-cubes open.
- Inside are several corridors with ancient writing on them. Beepbox realises that he’s seen this language before - it’s an ancient Dwarven language! The signs say “Barracks”, “Emergency Generator Core” and “Subsurface Research Facility”. They head for the Barracks.
- They enter a room that has a bunch of robots in it! They seem confused and command the party to leave this protected facility. Beepbox chats a bit then backs off with everyone else.
--- Old Showers
- The room next door has toilets and showers! All sized for Dwarfs, naturally. Beepbox tries having a shower… and finds that it’s full of green slime! The slime plops onto him and starts to digest his head! Mickey the janitor tries to get it off with a broom handle but it starts digesting the wood! He chucks the slimy broom into the robot room and slams the door.
- Red shoots the slime off of Beepbox’s head, since his armour resists angel beams. They peep into the robot room and realise the slime doesn’t digest robots, damn!
--- Breach and Clear
- With the robots confused, Jeremy Wizard lobs some oil in there and Beepbox unloads with a shotgun! The robots are quickly destroyed, with the help of one of the robots themselves after Beepbox miraculously befriends one. The friendly robot dies too, sadly.
- They loot the room, finding a fair amount of stuff including a mysterious sconce with wires coming out the back.
--- Mirror Room
- With the situation in New Moondin solved, Red asks the Lady a question - can this Seraphim fly to the Moon??
- The answer is yes! After some brief retroactive purchasing in New Moondin, the party is off to space!
- They arc up into low-earth orbit and the Lady adjusts the Seraphim’s trajectory. It’s a pretty chill journey, and after an hour or so the Moon is bright before them!
- There is a pulse as something else comes into sight - rising behind the Moon itself is a second, red moon! The Lady screams as another pulse sends the Seraphim’s systems offline, sending the massive angel-ship crash-landing into the real Moon…
- Strangely the error messages seem to suggest that the Seraphim’s systems will be down for the length of the real-world coronavirus quarantine! It seems it’s the moon or nothing, now.
--- Shrub Nigeria
- The doors hiss open, letting in the moon’s thin but surprisingly breathable atmosphere. The impact crater is green for some reason. A banana man in a rasta hat appears from a nearby hut and yells at them - they crashed on his astroturf!
- Yes it seems that the dumb meme legends were true - Shrub Nigeria, the stoner meme moon man born of an autocorrect mistake back in 2018, is alive!
- He informs them that they are being railroaded into a nearby megadungeon, that this dungeon hasn’t been touched in millenia, and that they should watch out for robot ghosts.
- They go, moon-hopping across the dusty lunar surface! Choo choo!
--- The Gatehouse
- The party arrives at the dungeon entrance - a hole in the side of the central peak of a massive crater - and enters the cave within. There is a large pool of silvery water, and an obvious door! They put some special astroturf on the weighing scales nearby and the door rubiks-cubes open.
- Inside are several corridors with ancient writing on them. Beepbox realises that he’s seen this language before - it’s an ancient Dwarven language! The signs say “Barracks”, “Emergency Generator Core” and “Subsurface Research Facility”. They head for the Barracks.
- They enter a room that has a bunch of robots in it! They seem confused and command the party to leave this protected facility. Beepbox chats a bit then backs off with everyone else.
--- Old Showers
- The room next door has toilets and showers! All sized for Dwarfs, naturally. Beepbox tries having a shower… and finds that it’s full of green slime! The slime plops onto him and starts to digest his head! Mickey the janitor tries to get it off with a broom handle but it starts digesting the wood! He chucks the slimy broom into the robot room and slams the door.
- Red shoots the slime off of Beepbox’s head, since his armour resists angel beams. They peep into the robot room and realise the slime doesn’t digest robots, damn!
--- Breach and Clear
- With the robots confused, Jeremy Wizard lobs some oil in there and Beepbox unloads with a shotgun! The robots are quickly destroyed, with the help of one of the robots themselves after Beepbox miraculously befriends one. The friendly robot dies too, sadly.
- They loot the room, finding a fair amount of stuff including a mysterious sconce with wires coming out the back.
--- Mirror Room
- Continuing on with a brief toilet break in an bathroom Mickey finds, they enter a room with a big floor-length mirror stuck to the wall. Very suspicious. A hole in the wall nearby is suspiciously shaped like the sconce they picked up just now, and rewiring it into the hole opens the mirror! Nice!
- Before going into the secret corridor, Jeremy Wizard inspects a room they haven't checked yet. Inside he sees a creepy four-armed being made of bones and robot parts that croaks out "wherre... is yourr god... noww???"
- Jeremy turns and runs, slamming the door behind him.- Two rooms come off the secret corridor. One has alien rats in it - grey-skinned with big black eyes and no tails - and shelving. Beepbox goes to grab a shield he sees on one of the shelves, but when he does yellow mould goes everywhere! He absconds with great haste, coughing up a lung.
- In the other room is an ancient armoury! Old rusty guns and some ammo canisters. Ratman the Ratman picks one up and fires it… but it explodes in his hand! Red fires another and it jams. Great stuff.
--- Robot Ghosts
- They leave out the secret door on the other end of the secret corridor, coming out into a room with filing cabinets and swirling electric whirlwinds softly crackling around the floor. The drawers contain interesting science papers… but as the party looks through them the whirlwinds rise up into ghostly robot forms!
- Ghosts - even robot ghosts - are scary. Red engages invisibility mode… and finds that the ghosts can both see her and are angry! They pile on Red but most can’t get past her armour. She parries them away as she backs out of the room.
- Jeremy blasts a magic missile at one of the ghosts, blowing it apart, and slams the door. Piss off, ghosts!
- Thankfully the party is close enough to the exit to flee out of the door. They live! And have some stuff! A successful dungeon-crawl!
 |
| +200 exp to Beepbox |
- In the other room is an ancient armoury! Old rusty guns and some ammo canisters. Ratman the Ratman picks one up and fires it… but it explodes in his hand! Red fires another and it jams. Great stuff.
--- Robot Ghosts
- They leave out the secret door on the other end of the secret corridor, coming out into a room with filing cabinets and swirling electric whirlwinds softly crackling around the floor. The drawers contain interesting science papers… but as the party looks through them the whirlwinds rise up into ghostly robot forms!
- Ghosts - even robot ghosts - are scary. Red engages invisibility mode… and finds that the ghosts can both see her and are angry! They pile on Red but most can’t get past her armour. She parries them away as she backs out of the room.
- Jeremy blasts a magic missile at one of the ghosts, blowing it apart, and slams the door. Piss off, ghosts!
- Thankfully the party is close enough to the exit to flee out of the door. They live! And have some stuff! A successful dungeon-crawl!
Total: 7000 exp
Exp Totals:
- Tim / Red, Level 7 Duellist Fighter: 80122 (Level up at 128000)
- Izzy / Ratman, Level 7 Ratman: 70421 (Level up at 96000)
- Charles / Jeremy Wizard, Level 5 Magic-User: 29971 (Level up at 36000)
- Ollie / Beepbox Strawberry Stars de Moor, Level 5 Cleric of the New Eden: 23021 (Level up at 28000)
- George / Wormwood, Level 1 Inheritor: 1042 (Level up at 2250)
- James G / Mickey, Level 1 Specialist: 1042 (Level up at 1500)
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