Tuesday 25 July 2023

Session 348 - The Return of Little Jack Tall!

Date: 4 July, 22 p.p.

Moon: NEW MOON
Zenith: The Lady


New Backstory:
- Phillipides Goath willingly broke his bandit oaths to become a noble Paladin! Sacrifice a weapon to auto-hit.


New Rumours:
- "
Everyone city in the Drudge Wastes is possessed by the Idea of Thorns, except this town! That's why I never leave!" - "The city of Grendel is deep in the Wastes, connected to its satellite towns by enormous bridges which are like towns of their own! Apparently they have a source of unlimited energy there, and the pub scene is amaaazing." - "Follow the pylons heading for hundreds of miles straight north from Grasp and you'll reach the town of Leylong, where the energies of the pylons merge and twist through warring wizard towers." - "Red Elves are easy to kill - they're cowardly foreign wizards so you just have to get up close." - "The Golems who live in the Pyramid near Splug were created by an evil wizard by combining a Dwarf with an Elf, which is why they're unstoppable!" - "The Gads up in the mountains are warring over the Marlingspike. If you want to get involved, head to the Marlingspike and tell the Red Elves you're there to help wipe out the rebels."


Events:

--- New Moon, Old Friends
- It's the New Moon and Aximander is ascendent! Charged by the dark eye of the New Moon, his Elven powers have waxed to their fullest extent. He looks like the Devil himself, forked tail swishing behind his digitigrade legs.
- He also discovers that his abilities allow him to hear his name wherever it's whispered anywhere in the world... and so realises that Gifflewim's been fucking with the party this whole time! The coins didn't do anything - it was all him!
- Also here, after real life years away, is Little Jack Tall! A "Normal-ling" who calls humans Doublings.
- All together, the party decides that it's time to raid the Golem's Pyramid.
- Lulu is trying to use Gunther - Aximander's winged piglet - to predict the outcome of this endeavour. Outlook... good?

--- Hollow Pyramid
- They walk through the goblin shanty-town of Splug and to the stepped pyramid that it's built against, heading into the pyramid proper.
- It's a cavernous space inside, the pyramid is a shell. In the centre is the somewhat smaller pyramid that our heroes previously had a bad time entering, being easily repelled by the golem guards.
- Instead the party decides to explore the shell a bit. There is a large console of some sort in the corner of the hollow pyramid, and another in the centre of the south wall. They go to investigate, while Tyler Loveheart scurries off to climb the smaller pyramid.
- Tyler finds a crystal lens set into the top of the smaller pyramid, pointing up at the roof. He can't find a button to turn it on. From up there he hears squeaking and cheering from somewhere to the north, and strange lights.
- Down at the corner console the others find an orb set into the stone object. When touched it shows a view from the miles-wide mud-choked riverbed that was once the Deeprush. Pressing the button above it shows the viewpoint rising, and below clean water is bubbling up!
- They rush outside to see if this is actually happening... and it is! Clean water is slowly filling up the Deeprush once again!

--- Everyday Heresy
- They head north and come to an old shrine - it's a God Projector! They've seen these before! It's inactive, but with a bit of elbow grease Little Jack Tall reconnects the wiring and plugs stuff back in.
- The projector activates! It's the Lady! She seems to recognise Little Jack Tall, but everyone else is a new character so has no idea who they are. Jack is the only person in the group who consents to kneeling before the God, and so she refuses to talk to the others.
- Nevertheless, Little Jack conveys various questions from the group to the proud goddess. She tells him that the pyramids were designed to pump poison deep underground to kill the beast in the core of the earth. The Dwarves broke the pyramids thousands of years ago, well before the apocalypse, and the Drudge Wastes have been here ever since.
- Before she goes, miffed at the party's lack of respect, she does mention that the Marlingspikes are used by the Red Elves to mine multiversal energy and magic. There's a War in Heaven raging between the Red Elves and the Gods, you see. Hence why she's a bit distracted.
- Tyler skids down the inner pyramid and prostrates himself before the Lady, earning a boon from her before Little Jack Tall unceremoniously pulls the plug and she winks out.

--- Off to the Races
- A big clay face peers around the northern corner of the inner pyramid, and grunts out something in the Dwarven tongue of Ur-Darghab. When the party yell out something in English, he swaps to a grunting version of the same! He's wondering what the party are doing wandering around in here.
- He offers to let them bet on some ferret races, and the party readily accepts! On the way, Phillipides notices some goblins skulking about against the north wall, but doesn't bring it up.
- They watch the ferret races! These are huge ferrets, several metres long, and they run through a tubular race track. 
- After a round of bet-placing, they're off! The ferrets whizz around the tubes in a time trial... and the ferret called Rachel Runebender is the winner! Sydney and Jojo collect their winnings.
- The golem collects the ferrets, pays out the bets, and crosses a ferret pen into a back door to the inner pyramid. Easier than going in via that front portcullis for sure!

--- Horseradish the Speaker
- Before considering a bit of the ol' dungeoneering B&E, they go see these goblins that Phil spotted.
- They find a bunch of lean-tos set up against the inner wall of the hollow pyramid, full of bud-goblins! A wizened old looking goblin with wrinkly skin covered with potato eyes greets them while the others cower from the interlopers.
- He introduces himself as Horseradish the Speaker and explains that the bud-goblins here escaped from Splug, where they were under the boot of Hobgoblins and regularly purged at the first sign of disagreement.
- Nearby is another console with an orb, showing another view out on the vast red-mud riverbed. As the view rotates it shows the distant sight of water pouring out over the riverbed! Looks like that button-press earlier is still going!
- Horseradish lends the party his bravest warriors - Lettuce, Pickles, and Sassafrass.

--- Pushing Buttons
- They also view another mysterious object, within the bounds of the racing tube. It's a table with a little pyramid surrounded by glowing rods.
- After a bit of mapwork, they realise that it represents the local area! The pyramid connects to six rods, three of which are in the river and three of which are on land!
- They split up to push all the buttons at once, during which time Jojo sends Pickles the Goblin off the wrong way and gets him eaten by ravenous ferrets. Alas.
- The upshot is that the river pillars activate no problem, but the land pillars will need some extra work. They won't activate, only show a bird's eye view of wherever they are.
- Giants come out to investigate all the button pressing, so the various button-pressing crews leg it!

--- Sneaky Sneaky Now
- Henry the Ferret Master is also alerted, and comes out of his door. He is met by Horseradish, who bravely distracts the giant golem. It seems they know each other quite well, and he puts up with the goblins as long as they don't bother his ferrets. That said, he also doesn't stop the ferrets if they go hunting for goblinflesh.
- Aximander summons an illusory version of the party and sends them running past as a distraction! Henry chases after the illusions, and the party quickly sneak into the inner pyramid while his back is turned!
- Inside it's a ferret play area and training zone. The ferrets are alarmed and angry until Philipides chucks some food in their food bowl. To the stairs!

--- Attempted Rescue
- The stairs are shallow and winding. At the bottom a breeze brings the scent of food and earth, and the sound of indistinct laughter.
- They investigate a couple of directions. Laughing golems down one way are avoided, but a dusty corridor seems like a good bet. They go through into a large room with tapestries of the giants' victories extorting food and ale from the Splug townsfolk.
- Jojo hears the sound of sobbing from behind a door and opens it to find bedrooms and imperfect Dwarves shackled to the wall. Their pale brown skin is blotched, like clay left out to dry.
- Moved to pity, she unchains them... and they attack! Their clay bodies morph attack mode, forming big lumpen fists!
- "Have you just been waiting here for someone to come in? That doesn't make any sense!" Jojo yells as she Magic Missile Punches one in the face, exposing a gem in its throat as its face reforms. She glares at Philipides, who didn't believe the rumour that these are part Elf part Dwarf - that gem must be an elf gem of some kind!
- It strikes back twice, but she casts Hone on her greataxe and slices its head right off, hitting it on the backswing to splash against a chest at the back of the room.
- Philipides fends off the other, taking a couple of big swings from their big fists, before Jojo smashes her axe flat-first onto the creature and splats it flat on the ground.
- The party gathers a bunch of gems from the throats of the clay dwarves, while Jojo heads to the chest and looks inside. It's a partial dungeon map, and a suspiciously fine looking ration.
- We finish in a bedroom for now! What else lurks in the pyramid???

Total: 9000 exp


Treasure:
- Gemstones from inside a Dwarf (800 exp)
- A partial dungeon map
Total: 800 exp

Foes:
- 2 imperfect clay Dwarves, smooshed. (200 exp)
Total: 200 exp

OOC:
- Carter the Remembrancer (100 exp)
- George the Expedition Leader (100 exp)
- Henry the Cartographer (100 exp)
- Ollie the Quartermaster (100 exp)


Exp Totals:
- Carter / Sydney, Level 6 Magic-User: 70686 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Jojo Fullbeard, Level 6 Muscle Wizard: 47902 (Level up at 72000)
- James G / Tyler Lockheart, Level 6 Specialist: 36768 (Level up at 48000)
- George / Phillipides Goath, Level 6 Fighter: 33902 (Level up at 64000)
- Kitty / Julian & Aximander, Level 5 Languid Wastrel: 26371 (Level up at 36000)
- Henry / Little Jack Tall, Level 4 Halfling Specialist: 11802 (Level up at 16000)



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