Session 441 - Perfectly Lovely People

Date: 03 February 1626

Zenith Deity: Alaunus
Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous
Moon Face: Dragon Face

Revealed Backstory:

- Hidra had a bout of road rage back when he was a road warrior and tore towards a battered war rig. He noticed the ambush just in time and veered off before the hidden rigs could fang it from the woods. +1 to Awareness.

- Havarti was used as a honeypot-ant by the denizens of the Veins, feeding her up to slaughter in case of lean times. +2 to heal when eating.

Events:

--- Dungeon Clear?

- Awakening in the mouth of the Christmas Cave, our heroes discuss their next steps.
- They've attained great treasures... but there was definitely another way further in and, even worse, hints at a deeper Santa Claus meaning. Do they return?

- They decide to return.

- They enter through the tiny door and head towards the floor puzzle they've already solved twice. Levers are pulled, stone grinds against stone. The door forward grinds open.

- Laughing faces glow in the dark. Tall christmas elves step forth, icicle swords in their hands. Small elves with snowballs take the rear.

- Surprisingly they are willing to talk to Hidra, who holds the "Hope Shard" of Santa Claus. They state that he should never go close to the Doom Shard of Santa Claus that is bound in the lowest depths.

--- Forth 

- After much persuasion, the elves let our heroes through, but say that they will be waiting to destroy the party if they awaken the Doom Shard. They openly take up defensive positions.
- The way beyond has ancient warriors upon plinths. Downing invisibility potions allows the party to investigate side doors. In one, skeletons wielding wreaths. In another, undead whiling away the time playing cards and reading books.

- They move on into a room which is clearly a boss room. An enormous throne squats before steps that lead up to a fountain of blood. Upon the throne is a great and monstrous creature,

---The Doom Shard

- Sulphur, invisible, sneaks into the dark and salty throne room. He heads for the blood fountain, dips a finger, and touches it to his tongue. His organs wiggle ominously. The figure on the throne stirs and asks "who sups?"

- Sulphur sneaks around to the opposite side of the throne, avoiding the sluggy eyestalks that glance around behind the throne.

- Ghost Snels stalks forward proudly and in the light of his fiery head sees the shape of the throne creature, more sea-life than man. His beard is grasping suckered tentacles, his feet are a great and terrible urchin. One hand is a huge crushing crab claw, the other is a lithe and living eel. In his chest is an enormous clam.

- Our heroes are used to appraising treasure. The pearl in his chest is worth tens of thousands of obols. Scraggly pines either side of the throne are hung with gems that glimmer like fairy lights.

- Snels talks to the being, who is the First Santa. The apocalyptic gifts of the deep were his, bestowed from the depths by a dread subnautical God. He remains here to contain the worst evils of the deeps, and gave the good gift-giving parts of it to his son who combined with the dark gifts of Mrs Claus and became the first Father Christmas.
- He contains the Doom Shard of Santa, and is scared that he will die and allow it to recombine with the Hope Shard of Santa Claus. If this happens, the frog monsters will rise up and drown the world entirely!

--- Slurp

- Ghost Snels considers this and walks past the awful figure, supping deep of the mulled blood fountain and gaining laser eyes that light fires with a glance.

- Havarti approaches the fountain, takes up a drinking horn, and sups deep of the wine from the Mulled Dimension. Her hand warps into a biomechanical gun!

- Sulphur takes this all as a good sign, drinks deep, and becomes... THE SUN!

- Every time he is in sunlight he shall absorb solar energy until he detonates in a fission reaction that will devastate everything above ground level in several miles. Until then, his bone glow brightly through his skin.

--- Perfectly Acceptable Conclusion

- Recognising that killing the sea-man for his giant pearl is a clear apocalypse enabler, they decide to leave.

- On the way out, the tall elves are very relieved that they didn't kill the Doom Shard of Santa. That would have been bad!

- They leave the cave complex and decide where to go. They could go to "Whence", aka the previous location before the Christmas Special, or check out the mysteriously/ominously/enticingly named "Daddy's Farm".

- Daddy's Farm it is!

--- An Ominously Lovely Time

- The route to Daddy's farm takes them along a frozen stream towards an area covered with a mild winter. Laughter trickles from a ruined tower. They call out, and a young girl runs down, fascinated by visitors. She tells them of her dad who owns Klausson's Farm just down the way, then runs off towards it followed by her enormous yet playful wolf.

- Suspicion sets in, yet the party follow.

- Havarti takes a detour on the way to the farmhouse, sneaking into the barn. She sees a large son, pet pigs, a horse, and not much else. 

--- An Ominously Lovely Dinner

- It's a no shoes indoors kind of place, so Hidra isn't allowed in.

- The family inside seem perfectly lovely, and say that they often have visitors around this time due to a preponderance of Christmas Specials amongst various groups of heroes.

- Everything is just a little bit off. The teenager keeps his knives sharp (for cooking). The girl child is great at setting traps (for the enormous penguins around here). The mother shuffles strangely when she's away from the sink. The dad is happy and friendly (ominous).

- Upstairs, Ghost Snels have been shown the guest room and the enormous locks that keep the doors shut. Can't be too careful, says the girl child. Sometimes we have guests from settings where werewolves and such are common.

--- An Ominously Locked Door

- Havarti decides that she'll sleep with her hyena next to the huge wolf in the stables. 

- Sulphur, inspecting the guest rooms with Ghost Snels, finds a full-sized penguin suit in a wardrobe and seizes it immediately.

- The bell rings, and all must go downstairs for tea. In the end it's just Sulphur seated at the table because everyone else is sleeping in the barn or Ghost Snels "meditating religiously" upstairs.
- Hidra has his head through a window as the food is served. It's a delicious Penguin Stew, no human meat in there at all. 

- The large son walks in, late for dinner. Just before he left he told Havarti that guests are forbidden to open the locked doors in the farmhouse, and please do not mention the name Mrs Claus in front of his mother.

- We smash cut to Ghost Snels. He's picking an unknown lock that leads to the attic. He hears a low growl...

Total: 9000 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler and Paymaster (200 exp/level)

- George the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)

- Kitty the Vanguard (100 exp/level)

- Ollie the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals: 

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 6 Boo-gilist: 66663 (Level up at 72000)

- Carter / Hidra, Level 6 Fighter: 39464 (Level up at 64000)

- George / Ghost Snels, Level 6 Denialist Cleric: 37464 (Level up at 72000)
*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +Faith! +Healing Pool! +Backstory!

- Ollie / Havarti Honeybun, Level 5 Halfling: 22698 (Level up at 32000)