Session 446 - Everything He Hoped For

Date: 24 March 1626

Zenith: The Allfather

Moon Phase: First Quarter

Moon Face: Dragon Face (Tidelocked) 

New Characters:

- Goblinda, a Hobgoblin madame who took a particular interest in costumery.|
- Masnavi-I-Manavi, Necromancer-Diplomat

New Backstory:

- Hammer Hatmakerson snuck into a party of Necromancer Lords who mocked him for being a dumb serf. Double exp if you fail Carousing roll.

Events:

--- Plans for the Future

- Our heroes are in a pub, flush with victory over some firebombed children. So far so topical. They are considering where to go next. It is a lovely day and they are thus far full of conjecture regarding the ground structure of the Wheatlands, seeing as it is built upon wheat over meat.

- Hammer confirms that the King of this realm is called King Swan. So far so good.

--- The Road North

- They decide to head north to a Sepulchre which is the home of the "Last Shard of the Mountain God", close to the relatively new Dwarf Hold known as Mount Grumblebelch.
- Hammer considers that this may be related to the Old Miner, the ancient Dwarf Satan.

- There is spirited debate over the meaning of "Feudal System". Aline maintains that a Feudal System requires feuding with rival powers, the others insist that Feudalism is defined by class relations. Aline is proven wrong (Feudalism is etymologically related to Latin word for fiefdom - land granted to a beneficiary in exchange for future service) but she grouses for the rest of the trip regardless.

- Hammer insists that there is a secret meaning behind the name of "Little Pushell" but does not deign to furnish this fact on the others. Perhaps the secret will be revealed in 2-3 hours as we pack up.

--- Classic Bandits!

- They take the road north, endless fields of wheat on their right, and.. lo! Real classic bandits! They burst from the head-high wheat, hide their faces behind masks and demand money and/or life! Hammer is delighted.

- Goblinda attempts to seduce the most handsome one, whose bearing is in the sort of upper-middle range where you wouldn't go flirting with him but wouldn't mind him flirting with you. He's not attracted to Goblinda though!

- Aline leaps off her horse (which she's had the whole time) and fumbles. Luckily she's wearing the Blast Armour that explodes on a notch! The horse, the bandit, and all of her friends are thrown backwards by the blast! Goblinda's little goblin minion has a moment of shock before being reduced to atoms.

--- Last Gasp of the Paintress

- The other bandits swarm from the field towards Aline, who barely survives.

- Hammer runs in, weapon aloft, and cleave-cleave-cleaves! Shattered bodies lie in his wake!

- Hammer seizes the Last Breath from the final kill, using the lesson his mentor taught him to raise a bandit as a zombie.

- Aline does the same. Once with a bound spell, easily successful. The second time, at a risk, casting without mana.

- The spell collapses, creates vortices. The second zombie rises as Aline falls into a pile of skin and muscle. Her bones are in the Ghost Dimension, the rest of her gurgles.
- Despite the (to me) obvious fact that this is the end of her story, Aline burbles otherwise. Through spittle and phlegm she orders her zombies to carry her back to town, there to counteract her lack of skeleton.

--- The Refugees of Pus Crack

- The remaining two continue, and soon find themselves at Pus Crack. A great rill in the land, opened up on poisoned and unmoisturised flesh. It splits the road ahead. A horrid mix of pus and blood flow downstream.

- They decide to circumnavigate via the wheat, cutting through and bringing themselves around the tender edge of the world-wound.

- A child laughs. They investigate.
- Hidden in the wheat are several refugees from the demon-ridden city of Edge and their children. They ask for help, and our heroes give it. They wish to reach Swansberg, for it is said to be a safe place under a kind and competent king.

--- Larger Pushell

- They continue on, refugees in tow, and meet the best-dressed of the group. His name is Masnavi-I-Manavi and he was a diplomat in Edge. He has been helping the refugees come south, and he's willing to become a player character!

- The group push on through the evening. A full moon leers overhead, the corpse of the black apocalypse dragon splatted across the sea of tranquility.

- A town is in view, and they head in through the evening. Circular tracks are ignored.

- They reach the town. No walls. Buildings of stacked stone. A single pub - the Broken Crow - shut hours ago. A granary sags under the wheat of its contents. A barber and taxidermist are interesting, but closed too.

--- Guards? Guards?

- A man in full armour and an extravagant helmet approaches with a lantern. Hammer strides forth, and tells him the situation. Refugees and adventurers in need of room and board.

- After some suspicion, the guard uses his key to let them into the Broken Crow. Inside are tables, benches... and a skeleton bartender! This one is Australian and is called, of course, Guido.

- The skeleton says it'll take a few hours to get the rooms (of which there are two) ready, so feel free to sit on the benches for now. To the exhausted refugees this is wonderful, and they're soon snoring.

--- Final Rumours

- They ask Guido for rumours, and despite lack of content he's happy to oblige.

- A splinter faction from Mt Grumblebelch is causing a nuisance in the hills.
- A fungal infection down the river from Grumblebelch has infected the meat, kill it to grant clear mountain water to those downstream.

- We end slightly early! The secret of Little Pushell is... it can be read as "Little Pus Hell".

Total: 9000 exp

Murders:

- Some bandits (50 exp)

OOC: 

- Carter the Chronicler, Paymaster, and Chef (300 exp/lvl)

- George the Expedition Leader (100 exp/lvl)

- Zoë the Vanguard (100 exp/lvl)

Exp Totals:

- George / Hammer Hatmakerson, Level 3 Fighter: 5731 (Level up at 8000)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d8 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 to Hit! +1 to Crit/Fumble! +Backstory!

- Zoë / Goblinda, Level 2 Goblin: 3117 (Level up at 4000)

*LEVEL UP! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Goblin! +Backstory!

- Carter / Masnavi-I-Manavi, Level 2 Necromancer: 3317 (Level up at 4500)

*LEVEL UP! +1d4 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! + Backstory!