Session 448 - A Few Crabs With the Boys

Date: 7 April 1626

Zenith: Oberon

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face (Tidelocked)  

Revealed Backstory: 

- Masvani washed away in his youth, yet still loves the water. +1 Piloting.

- Benito is a member of the Ronaldinho Club who supports any and all footballing Ronaldinhos in the hopes they win a purported future award of global significance. Find a fellow member in any city.

Events:

--- Screw This Place

- Despite Masvani's protestations, the group decides to leave the fungal hell behind. They check each others' necks for fronds just to be sure.
- Benito and Hammer shared food together and, apparently, pooped in the same hole after having similar gastrointestinal issues. They have a new understanding.

- They walk back to the road, wheat on the inland side, and find tracks that lead into the seemingly endless wheat! A multitude of heavy holes like sticks pushed down with great strength. Benito sneaks off the path, the others boldly stride forth.

- They come to a circle in the crops. In the centre, a pyramid of nine white stones an arms-breadth wide. Huge crabs relax and molt in the sun. They know of these beasts - Stoneshell Crabs! Caught in their molting!

--- Softshell Assault

- Benito lobs a molotov at the stone-pile, cutting the crabs off from their hermit shells. Hammer heaves in and slices into the soft and delicate shell of one of the crabs, while Benito's minion Wetherspoons Dave smacks himself in the jaw while attempting similar.

- Masvani casts Chattering Skull on a crab's barely formed shell because "an exoskeleton counts as a skeleton right?". Patch notes circle this decision. The crab is horrified by its armour gaining the semblance of life and is thus Dazed.

- Hammer picks the gap and scythes through one and slams into another! He doesn't quite kill it, but Wetherspoons Dave finishes the job with a swift slice! Masvani clinches the last breath with a flick of his wrist.

- The other crabs, shell-less and gummy, flee into the wheat. Another is hobbled as it tries to flee and snipped just behind the eyes. This kills the crab.

--- Aftermath

- Masvani slurps up his crab-flavoured Last Breath and raises a gummy softshell corpse as his mobile throne. Benito slices off the best bits from the dead.

- They all set off towards Greater Pushell, Masvani futilely trying to fish from the back of his crab-throne.

- They reach the Pus Crack, that great bloody rent in the fleshy earth, and debate how to fix it. They hear a cod-Scottish voice telling them to shut up, and look over to see a scattering of stone igloos.

--- Grumblebelch Tendency

- The party approach, Masvani humming a tune, and find a group of three Dwarves from Mt Grumblebelch hanging out and roasting various meaty chunks over a campfire. They're charmed enough by Masvani to welcome the party.
- They chat for a while, and the Dwarves pridefully speak on their arcology's mission to replace the meat of the meatlands with good clean stone. Personally, they're on their way to repair a sluice gate that's leaking fungus into the river. On hearing that the fungus situation has literally just been fixed the Dwarves are stoked! Party time!

- The Dwarves offer their beer, so Masvani cooks up a meal of Crab, Beer and wheat-based "popcorn", naming it Popcorn Crab. It's bloody good!

--- The Party Don't Stop

- The Dwarves' thick beer makes Hammer very drunk, and soon he's dancing towards the lights of Greater Pushell through the balmy night with his new Dwarven best friends.

- They're singing old songs of Ur-Kalladh when they arrive at the gates. The one guard meets them, having seen them crossing through the swaying grain in the light of the gibbous moon, and suggests they head to the Broken Crow because it's last orders soon.
- Benito and Masvani have followed, and Benito decides to get in on the party vibe. Masvani is, alas, too poor and doesn't want to end up in debt to a demon or something (that would be crazy right?)

- Hammer is totally fine! Alas, Benito falls out with the Dwarves because they took the opportunity to mock him for being even shorter than they. He is saved from his shame by an actual God! It's Oberon in the form of a white hare, who distracts for long enough for Benito to escape with his pride intact.
- Benito is tasked with a religious quest - shoot a creature from a great distance against the odds (ie. hit a creature when you need 17+ on the roll) within a month, or else no ranged attacks forevermore.
- A cock crows as dawn breaks, and Benito tries to hit the cockerel but misses terribly. His concern rises, for little does he know, but we'll be skipping the next couple of weeks...

Total: 6000 exp

Carousing:

- Benito Caroused! (600 exp)
- Hammer Caroused! (800 exp)

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler & Chef (200 exp/level)

- George the Expedition Leader & Cartographer (200 exp/level)

- Charles the Paymaster, Vanguard, Artist & Chef (400 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Hammer Hatmakerson, Level 4 Fighter: 12123 (Level up at 16000)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d8 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 to Hit! +1 to Crit/Fumble! +Backstory!

- Carter / Masvani-I-Manavi, Level 4 Necromancer: 9009 (Level up at 18000)

*LEVEL UP! +1d4 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! + Backstory!

- Charles / Benito Brazil, Level 4 Halfling: 9006 (Level up at 16000)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 to Mind Control! +1 to Cooking! +Backstory!