Ten Foot Précis

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Session 57 - This Expedition Cost Us an Arm and a Leg (and a wizard and an elf)

And that's a second one-legged Dwarf in the campaign! Who knew battlefield amputations were so easy with a flame sword?

In general a prosthetic leg will count as an Oversized item all on it's own, which means it slows you down a bit but you can mitigate it by carrying less stuff.

Until you get one though, you'll have to hobble around or crawl or something, which isn't particularly speedy!

For businesspeople - I'll start telling you how much your business lost/gained in these emails so you can decide what to do with the profits. I've been assuming that you've been reinvesting it into the business, but maybe you want to take some out occasionally!

You can take out as much as you want at the time of the monthly return.

Here's a breakdown:

Peggy Pigrider - Pie Mama's. Safe investment. Lost 63sp value by end of month. New value is 1213sp.

Some weird stuff is going on back in Pillartown, giving penalties.

John Doe the Unlucky - Anvil, Mining & Craft, Inc. Risky investment. Gained 16sp value by end of month - new value is 1579sp.

Blood-powered mining machine and blood supply giving bonuses. Small penalty for commandeering company assets (donkey and cart). Supply of pig blood to mountains makes people suspicious, especially since there's a huge graveyard and an alleged Necromancer up there.

Lulu Spiderbite - Clunge Honey. Safe investment. Gained 190sp value by end of month - new value is 1190sp.

Bonus for word of mouth marketing (and free samples) which will continue if you keep advertising!

Joe Joe - Josephine's Petting Zoo. Risky investment. Newly incorporated. Initial investment: 1500sp.

Bonus for Halfling mind control. Bringing new and exciting animals to petting zoo is sure to give further bonuses.

Stabbington Shanks - Tomb Busters. Risky investment. Newly incorporated. Initial investment: 600sp.

Possible bonus for making a name for yourselves. If you want the headquarters to be in Fortress City Fate you'll have to head over there at some point!

I've added a new "Active Businesses" category in the recap too.

Session 57 - This Expedition Cost Us an Arm and a Leg (and a wizard and an elf)

Campaign date:
Monday, 3 October, 1549
Moon phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

God: Eris

New Characters:

Malanth, an Leech whose elven transformation into a Misergeist was just beginning.

Enemies defeated:

- 2 mewling cancer-people overgrown with pulsing growths and worm-filled cysts, slain with fire sword. (50 exp)

- 2 bloated and sobbing people used as living wombs by the cancer-men, burnt alive. (0 exp)

- 1 scampering man-thing whose entire back was one big throbbing abscess, exploded (25 exp)

- 1 feathered swine, fled from (0 exp)

Total: 75 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 17 sp (17 exp)

- Yellowed love letter in a childish scrawl.

- 10 large rocks studded with tiny crystals (500 exp)

- 5 Ruby Tears of Mercy mushrooms, useful for clotting blood (instantly remove Bleed dice)

- 10 Deliquescent Bluecap mushrooms, useful in a healing poultice (+1d6 HP to successful First Aid roll).

- 2 remaining brass syringes of sedative (100 exp)

- A spellbook bound in a metal box with The Book of Flesh written on the spine.

- Menacingly weird armour, left behind

Total: 600 exp

Exploration:

- 4 heretofore unknown dungeon areas explored. (80 exp)

- Secret "door' found (50 exp)

Total: 130 exp

Events:

- Pulled out of dungeon to regroup, Felix Longworm plucks up his courage to come in and and find spellbook. Passing healer roped into party with promises of loot. (50 exp)

- Explored a side passage and collapsed the floor, waking feathered swine below. Decided to go the long way around. (50 exp)

- Walked further, saw the pool from last time is now full of fat, white worms wriggling about. (50 exp)

- Found spot in room of holes where a side passage had collapsed, went inside and found a lot of weird mushrooms, a creepy suit of black armour with emaciated corpse still inside (50 exp)

- Took some mushrooms, left armour behind and endeavoured to come back later, left Screaming Puffball mushroom as makeshift alarm. (50 exp)

- In next chamber saw cancer-men vomiting into the mouth of a man with a grotesquely oversized belly used as a living womb. Attacked them with cauterising fire sword, crossbow bolts. (50 exp)

- One of them gets its claws into John Doe's leg, causing it to rapidly begin swelling and mutating. Stabbington and Lulu try to chop leg off but can't penetrate armour. Malanth saves the day with application of leeches to delay mutation followed by quick and painful amputation. (50 exp)

- Cancer-men killed, living womb killed with fire, he screams his thanks as he burns. (50 exp)

- Chamber narrows, at the end another living womb. This time a woman, backpack still on her shoulders constricting her and arching her back painfully. (50 exp)

- Backpack strap cut, but she begins vomiting copious white bile full of small white worms with tiny arms. She is also burnt alive, and non-flammable metal spellbook and syringes taken from her remains. (50 exp)

- Grunting and oinking sounds come from next room, sedative inexpertly injected into Feathered Swine wakes it up. Squeals attract crawling man-things with giant sebaceous cysts covering their entire backs. Felix Longworm is bitten in the face and begins mutating, (50 exp)

- Malanth chops Felix's head off before he can turn, but is splashed with mutagenic pus in the chest and begins mutating himself. Party members bug out, running for rope still hanging from hole in ceiling. (50 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)

- Ludicrous Pus bonus (50 exp)

- Mutatis Mutandis bonus (50 exp)

- Trapsetter bonus (50 exp)

- Amputation bonus (100 exp - John Doe)

- Failed Saving Throw bonus (100 exp - John Doe)

- Horrifying Realisation bonus (100 exp - John Doe)

- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - John Doe)

- Death's Witness bonus (100 exp ea. - Survivors)

- Died In Your First Session bonus (200 exp - David's next character)

- Noble Sacrifice bonus (1000 exp - David's next character)

- Lulu Spiderbite retroactively spends 1000sp on Mr Burg's funeral costs. 1981 of the deceased's experience remains to be "bought" in this way. (1000 exp - Lulu)

Total: 300 exp + bonuses

Active Businesses:

- Peggy Pigrider - Pie Mama's. Safe. Value: 1213sp

- John Doe the Unlucky - Anvil, Mining and Craft Company. Risky. Value: 1579sp

- Lulu Spiderbite - Clunge Honey. Safe. Value: 1190sp

- Joe Joe - Josephine's Petting Zoo. Risky. Value: 1500sp

- Stabbington Shanks - Tomb Busters. Risky. Value: 600sp

Quests and Rumours:

- None today.

Death Toll and Injuries:

- John Doe, leg chopped off in time to save him from a fate worse than death.

- Felix Longworm, hench-wizard with no spells, bitten by Feathered Swine and began turning into cancer monster.

- Malanth, got gunk on him while euthanising Felix and mutated himself.

Exp Totals:

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 10448 (Level up at 16000)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 7126 (Level up at 8000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 3 Dwarf: 6745 (Level up at 8800)

David / (David's next character): 1200 (Level up at ???)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 3 Halfling: 4445 (Level up at 8000)

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)

Daniel / Davrak, Level1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Dana / Bingo, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 1461(Level up at 2250)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Session 56 - The Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine

This week our heroes entered the doomed and dangerous depths of the Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine. The swelling cysts hanging from its corpulent flesh are super valuable, but there's also a lost spellbook in the cave and Joe Joe wants to enthrall the Swine itself to become a part of her petting zoo.

Inside there were mutated humans who screamed for help even as they savaged the dead, covered with monstrous growths and filled with horrible white worms and stinking pus and oozing lymph.

Despite all that, probably the most horrifying thing was the discovery that Portuguese children wear their own teeth as jewellery. Thanks, Mariana.

For all - We were forced out of the usual spot! Sounds like I'd better turn up before 6:00 from now on to grab my place. We'll still start 6:30-7:00ish, but feel free to come earlier to keep me company!

If you don't see me/us in the main room in future, we were in the comfy sofa area this time. That's the backup from now on!

For Ollie/Lulu - I am attaching a picture of your missing business thingy for Clunge Honey. It was in another folder! Whoops! I've already applied the extra value for your business, and after the big surge in sales I think this Clunge Wagon is really going to get off the ground!

For Kyle/John Doe the Unlucky - I forgot to get you to level up! Sorry! You'll get 1d10 more health, and here's a link to the Lorebond document so you can pick a dwarf upgrade.

The document says it's every three levels, but I've changed it so you get your first one at level 3 and then every two levels thereafter. So like levels 3, 5, 7, 9, etc etc. Mainly because it takes ages to level up as you gain experience.

As I said last week, the idea is that you have to do something related to the ability to unlock it (I'll tell you after you've chosen!) and binds you with an unbreakable taboo like what is in myffs and legends innit.

For all - New rules thing because Dominic/Stabbington did it and it seems like a cool rule - you can use your action to help out a buddy in combat now. Instead of attacking you give your attack bonus to them because you're flanking and distracting the bad guy and stuff.

In a similar vein, I'm going to use this thing from D&D 5 where you have to use your action to Disengage to run away, everyone you're in combat with gets a free attack if you don't. Elegant!

Stabbington Shanks has incorporated a business under the Tomb Busters brand. Headquarters are in Fortress City Fate. Presumably this is a growing area of the economy what with all the necromancy in the south.

Joe Joe has hired some Halflings (and a normal woman) to create a Josephine's Petting Zoo, a travelling animal show with a variety of surprisingly tame dangerous beasts available to pat. She's determined to capture weird and wonderful animals to add to the business.

Session 56 - The Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine

Campaign date:
Monday, 1 October, 1549
Moon phase: Waning Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

God: Eris

New Characters:

Davrak, a Dentist with a sack of teeth, a hammer, and a penchant for magic. Mostly 'armless.

Enemies defeated:

- 4 mewling cancer-people overgrown with pulsing growths and worm-filled cysts. (100 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 126 sp (126 exp)

- A large pearlescent orb covered with tiny holes. Small translucent crabs scuttle over and inside it. (3000 exp)

Total: 3126 exp

Exploration:

- First party to enter the Sleeping Place of the Feathered Swine. (100 exp)

- 5 cavernous areas explored (100 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Events:

- Realised selling stuff looted from the village's graveyard in the same village would be pretty suspect. John Doe borrows a cart and mule from his nearby mining business. Joe Joe buys a donkey. Party heads out with loot in tow. (50 exp)

- When passing through a narrow mountain pass, met a scared wizard near a scrubby tree. (50 exp)

- Wizard tells party that he's the only survivor of an attempt to harvest the cysts of a Feathered Swine in a cave nearby. Davrak swaps the wizard's hat for his own but the wizard is fine with that. (50 exp)

- The cave is entered. It is moist and stanky. Party squeeze along a narrow passage. (50 exp)

- A cancerous looking mutant leg is inspected and the sounds of someone trying to keep quiet while breathing heavily in a crevice above are ignored. (50 exp)

- Main passage rejoined, climbed, sounds of sloppy eating heard ahead (50 exp)

- Joe Joe attempts to talk to hideously fleshy lumpen once-human creatures. They scream at her to help them as they scamper forwards. (50 exp)
- Combat is joined. New guy Davrak launches a Light spell while Joe Joe begins mind-controlling the enemies and making them fight each other. Every time they're hit they squirt white frothy worm-filled pus from their pores, but John Doe's flaming sword is actually super good at cauterising the wounds. (50 exp)

- Davrak's arm is splashed with some of the wormy pus and his flesh begins to boil and grow. John Doe acts quickly and slices it straight off. The rapidly expanding lump of flesh drops to the floor. Welcome to my campaign buddy ah ha ha ha. (50 exp)

- Joe Joe sees a strange glowing pearl in nearby pool, sends her surviving mind-slave to retrieve it. The white worms flow from the creature's sores into the water, growing moist and fat, but the slave grabs the pearl out no problem. (50 exp)

- Loot and partially consumed bodies are seen and not touched because they're covered in icky stuff. (50 exp)

- The next chamber is entered, several large holes are in the walls. The holes are inspected, much is ignored in case it's dangerous but some silver pieces are scooped up from the tattered remnants of someone's stuff. (50 exp)
- Joe Joe tries to crawl in another to inspect it and is nearly grabbed by another one of the cancery people. She's pulled out swiftly by chain around her waist and is not pursued out of the hole. (50 exp)

- Sounds of vomiting can be heard from the next chamber, party nope out (it's late) and backtrack out of the cave. (50 exp)

Total: 700 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Ludicrous Pus bonus (50 exp)

- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)

- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)

- Amputation bonus (100 exp - Davrak)

Total: 250 exp + bonus

Quests and Rumours:

- "The Archbishop of Fate has condemned the Holy Tripartite as heathens and heretics."

- "There's been two girls and some sort of bow legged dwarf man in the area. They've been asking after people… people like you."

- "Did you hear? The King is an Unorthodox now, the fucking filth. Mark my words, the demons are coming for him. That's why the country's going to shit."

- "There's no gold up in Carrowmore, so don't bother. My brother went up and said it's all fool's gold and sorrow."

- "There have been stories from Mustom of alien beings living in the woods. Maniacs!"

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Davrak, arm chopped off in time to save him from a fate worse than death.

Exp Totals:

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 6457 (Level up at 8000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 3 Dwarf: 5676 (Level up at 8800)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 3 Halfling: 4445 (Level up at 8000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP +1 to Domination attempts!

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)

Daniel / Davrak, Level1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8779 (Level up at 16000)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Session 55 - Danse Macabre

That went well! Although that poor puppy.
This is actually the first time anybody's killed somebody by fucking up First Aid, so good work Stabbington.

For all - Since Mr Burg was a proper classed character, his experience points can be "bought" by paying money for his funeral.

He had 2981 exp before he died and you can buy it up on a 1:1 silver-to-exp basis. It's basically consequence free Carousing!

Oli/Lulu said they were willing to cough up the whole sum, but I'll leave it to you guys to decide who's spending what.

For Alex - Turns out I got my moon phases wrong and you were meant to be weaker than normal, but oh well! My bad!

My game calendar has 30 day months to keep things easy, with Full Moon on the 30th which is game-tomorrow. You'll be at your very weakest then.

The florid description of your elf species is as follows:
Hollowback Ylfen: Fair to look upon from the front but weirdly hollow and cow-tailed behind. The Ylfen pass briefly unnoticed among humans seeking articles of spae-craft hidden among the detritus of decaying civilisation. To them, all magical trinkets are their province, to be purloined and returned to the barrows where they reign in solitude.

Your abilities start off as passive magic detection and buffs to your actual Detect Magic spell, but eventually you'll be able to copy wizard's spells as they cast them and refract their spells and stuff.

For Peggy - I forgot to tell you the limitation of your new Lorebond!

The ability: You may spend a day unveiling the secrets of a crafted object as though casting an Identify spell. This includes who made it, how, and why.

To unlock it you must: Break a magic weapon upon a forge. This takes a day and, of course, breaks the weapon forever.
The geas: You may not use weapons and armour that are not of the highest quality. If they are damaged you must repair them at the earliest opportunity. Any inferior weapons or armour that touch you or your equipment must be destroyed.

If you break the geas: Your body will turn to molten iron over the course of a week, starting from the inside. You will see it spreading within your orange-glowing veins and feel it creeping through your gut like liquid sunlight.

For the record, the one you had already gave you that badass sword that never breaks and counts as silver and cold iron.

The geas is: Any creature who touches the weapon must die by it.

If you break that: The weapon comes alive and kills the offending creature… then it turns on you.

Alright that's it from me, see you guys next week!

Session 55 - Danse Macabre

Campaign date:
Sunday, 29 September, 1549
Moon phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:

Temperion, a shepard whose magical sheep-based experiments led to the loss of his job... and most of his flock.

Arhnin, a leatherworker chased out of town when they found out he was an Elf, now looking to get some more leatherworking tools to start up his business anew. Great nose for magic.

Enemies defeated:

- 3 barely repaired skeletons, crushed while they chiseled at the floor (30 exp)

- 5 better armed skeletons, caused to dance with Joe Joe's flute then mostly picked off one at a time in a surprisingly efficient manner (125 exp)

- 3 "transformer skeleton" ant-shapes formed from several skeletons, generally crushed (150 exp)

- 5 zombies, handily despatched (125 exp)

Total: 430 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A wolf skin.

- 10 sets of historical maps and documents (2000 exp)

- 10 or so lead soldier figurines (30 exp)

- 1500 silver pieces-worth of miscellaneous grave goods (1500 exp)

- A black helm

- A black suit of armour with the reindeer-springing-before-fir-tree coat of arms on chest

- A black greataxe that drinks the light.

Total: 3530 exp

Exploration:

- 5 heretofore unknown dungeon areas explored (100 exp)

- 2 secret doors found (100 exp)

- 1 Wandering Monster rolled (20 exp)

Total: 220 exp

Events:

- Hung around town to buy stuff and meet new players, were told that you were DOOOOMED ALL DOOMED by the fortune teller lady (50 exp)
- Entered the Warrior's Tomb dungeon again, saw sign saying "Please let us sleeps love from skeletons". Crack in ground sniffed by Arhnin but it wasn't magic. (50 exp)
- Saw battered skeletons trying to free the statue, Joe Joe sends in wolf who falls in a hole and dies. others smash skeletons. (50 exp)
- Joe Joe climbs down and skins her pet wolf (50 exp)

- Entered dungeon proper, attack by skeletons forestalled by Joe Joe's flute skills. The skeletons dance instead of attacking. (50 exp)

- War Room entered, big map of country in centre along with maps and charts. Skeletons picked off by baiting one in, closing door, smashing, sweeping away bones, repeating. (50 exp)

- Last two skeletons are onto the trick. Bait party into hall where they are attacked by combination-skeleton ant things. The party prevail, especially due to Joe Joe's crack shooting, but not before Mr Burg is knocked out. Stabbington attempts to heal him but ends up murdering him gorily with a botched chest compression. (50 exp)

- Lulu finds secret door by pressing raised location of Fortress City Fate. Behind secret door, a room containing black armour and a black axe that reek of magic. All claimed by John Doe. (50 exp)

- Further exploration leads to a room containing a necromancer's notebook. This is the only room to show the Jingois hero fleeing a battle. Secret door leads back into main corridor. (50 exp)

- With skeletons dead, another room is inspected which is full of food and also sweet-smelling incense that gets you high. (50 exp)

- Zombies attack along with a sobbing Necromancer who remains unseen, particularly due to his use of a Darkness spell. (50 exp)

- Party eventually prevails despite lack of vision and mostly being really high. Temperion is attacked by a zombie and faints dramatically. Necromancer flees as his zombies are defeated. (50 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Misc:

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- High as Fuck bonus (50 exp)

- PETA bonus (50 exp)

- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)

- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Temperion)

Total: 350 exp + bonus

Quests and Rumours:

- "YOU'RE DOOMED! YOU'RE ALL DOOMED!"

- but actually I forgot to let you roll for rumours this time whooooops

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Pat II, Joe Joe's beloved wolf. Fell down a pit trap to his doom... then she skinned him.

- Mr Burg, Peggy's long-lived henchman. Fell to an ant-shaped skeleton homunculus, chest crushed in by a botched First Aid attempt.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8779 (Level up at 16000)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 5581 (Level up at 8000)

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 3 Dwarf: 4800 (Level up at 8800)

*DING!* +1d10 HP! +new Lorebond!

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 2 Halfling: 3569 (Level up at 4000)

Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)

Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 642 (Level up at 3000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Session 54 - Spooky Scary Skeletons

A fairly subdued session this week, due in part no doubt to my failing to confirm that it is, in fact, back on.

So it's back on, everybody!

Nevertheless! The gang, including new guy Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian from Alsace, delved into the mausoleum dungeon and basically missed every attack ever and got felt up by skeletons.

Good times, great classic misses. See you guys next week!

Session 54 - Spooky Scary Skeletons

Campaign date:
Sunday, 26 September, 1549
Moon phase: Waxing Gibbous
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:

Alphonse, Barbarian of Alsace and Wielder of Fruit.

Enemies defeated:

- That damn animated statue, baited down pit once more and stone beds dropped on its head. (250 exp)

- Five weirdly molesty skeletons, eventually smashed (250 exp)

- Four fucked up skeleton conglomerate things, fled from (0 exp)

Total: 500 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 600 old silver pieces (600 exp)

- An orange citrine (90sp)

- A red bloodstone (50 exp)

- An opaque red potion #151

- 4 jars of blood

- 2 jars of white powder

- 1 jar of something alcoholic

Total: 740 exp

Exploration:

- 3 heretofore unknown dungeon areas explored (60 exp)

Total: 60 exp

Events:

- Went back into mausoleum dungeon, discovered statue had gotten out of pit via newly made handholds (50 exp)

- Baited statue into pit again, statue's attempt to jump pit stymied by ten foot pole (50 exp)

- Inspected chests in a bedroom but bones animated and attacked (50 exp)
- A combination of terrible rolls, unsuitable weapons, and good armour ensured the battle was long but more or less bloodless (50 exp)

- Stone beds taken from room and piled on animated statue in hole (50 exp)

- Party leaves to lick wounds. Alphonse gets his fortune told - "the weather will change your life, twice" and gets info from alewife. Stabbington gives money away to people and finds out more information. Leo gets quietly drunk. (50 exp)

- Re-entered dungeon, found a room containing a large brass cauldron and took mysterious jarred substances nearby (50 exp)

- Checked out an old kitchen with a fireplace full of bones. Not much else, but bones rattled on party's exit. (50 exp)

- Decision is taken to smash bones before they reassemble, party runs in but is ambushed by vaguely insectoid skeletal conglomerate things on ceiling. They flee to fight another day. (50 exp)

Total: 450 exp

Misc:

- Fame of the Tomb Busters increased (50 exp)

- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)

- This is Madness! bonus (50 exp)

- Near Death Experience bonus (100 exp - Alphonse)

- Badass Backstory bonus (100 exp - Lulu Spiderbite in absentia)

Total: 150 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- "Something is killing jewel sellers in Gush! None of the victims are dwarfs, so you've got to wonder..."

- "That flood upstream of the Deeprush has washed a whole lot of weirdness downstream. Sea monsters, they say!"

- "If you've got caving gear and weapons, head to Muntburg to make a quick buck. The people going into Dwimmermount will buy anything!"

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today!

Exp Totals:

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 10460 (Level up at 14000)

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 3 Fighter: 4939 (Level up at 8000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 to crit/fumble table!

Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8137 (Level up at 16000)

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 2 Halfling: 2927 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pad 2, Level 0 Wolf

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 18778 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2981 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 4158 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Session 53 - Tomb Raiders

I can't wait until you guys see the message that John Doe would have received. Although if the blood cart had been explained, maybe you never would have hung around to find the mysterious dungeon in the mausoleum.
I love that in the absence of monsters you totally just fabricated their existence. You are all still horrible people. And so I can look it up later - DEFCON stands for Deadly Evil Fiendish Carnivorous Ominous Nasties.

And man, you guys are shooting up the levels these days! Turns out robbing the pampered dead is highly lucrative.

Session 53 - Tomb Raiders

Campaign date:
Sunday, 22 September, 1549
Moon phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Virgo

Enemies defeated:

- Henry Graves the innocent but theatrical undertaker, throat torn out by wolf (0 exp)

- Sandra Graves his loving wife, leg chopped off then strangled (0 exp)

- An animated statue wielding two swords, baited into a pit trap (250 exp)

Total: 250 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- 47sp, 54cp (53 exp)

- Engagement ring and old drafts of marriage proposal speech dated 1526 (60 exp)

- 174 thin jade tablets, each carved with a different face, worth 50sp ea. (8700 exp)

- Brass nose with etchings intended to guard against disease. (20 exp)

- Silver earring embossed with lion rampant over a fallen hawk. (250 exp)

- Scale mail (counts as chain) with shield-shaped icon on chest - an acorn in a crown (200 sp)

- Leather armour with surprisingly christmassy image painted on chest - reindeer in red leaping in front of a pine tree in green. (50 exp)

- Snakeskin boots with trim of unidentifiable black fur (50 exp)

- A brass sword (20 exp)

- 3 silver-tipped spears with mahogany shafts (600 exp)

- Rapier tingles when touched, flashes redly in torchlight (50 exp)

- Violet robe (400 exp)

Total: 10453 exp

Exploration:

- 25 miles of travel (80 exp)

- First party to enter Little Reaching (100 exp)

- First party to enter the Warrior's Mausoleum (100 exp)

- 1 secret door found (50 exp)

- 3 dungeon areas explored (60 exp)

Total: 390 exp

Events:

- Travelled to investigate rumours of zombies in Little Reaching (50 exp)
- Arrived to find a small village with a large graveyard, three large mausoleums (50 exp)

- Lulu and Stabbington had their fortunes told by Griselda the village mystic - "A rope will snap as music plays" and "A spherical object will make you laugh" respectively. (50 exp)

- Got info from townsfolk, bartered rights to a rundown house in exchange for getting rid of the zombie problem. Discovered carts carrying large amounts of blood being taken to suspected Necromancer in mountain cave. (50 exp)

- Joe Joe entertains crowd with wolf tricks. (50 exp)

- Met Harry Graves, the immediately suspicious and unhelpful undertaker with keys to the graveyard. (50 exp)

- Lulu and Stabbington try to kick his door down in full view of the townsfolk, fail, explain it away as "testing the door". They are believed. (50 exp)

- U the Monk tries to lever off the door's hinges in full view of townsfolk, lynch mob assuaged only by promise that party will take U away to be hanged. (50 exp)

- Plan is formed to get keys and fabricate evidence of zombies so that they can be "stopped". Lulu distracts villagers in the evening with partying, arm wrestling. (50 exp)

- Rest of party begins home invasion. Smoky interior leads to chaos. Stabbington chops off Harry's wife's leg thinking her a zombie. U tries to peg Stabbington thinking him a necromancer. Leo accidentally kicks hot coals everywhere. Lulu covers screams with increasingly loud shouting. (50 exp)
- Screams cause Harry to flee for help, Joe Joe's wolf rips his throat out. Sandra Graves hops to door, begins to scream for help, Joe Joe fires on her with her pistol, Stabbington chokes her out. (50 exp)

- Gunshot unmistakeable over noise of party. Villagers panic, try to check out what's happening. Lulu punches out the strongest guy in the village to intimidate them into stay inside until she's checked it's safe. (50 exp)
- Party grab keys, hurriedly try to make it look like a monster attack. (50 exp)

- Villagers soon run out, see party inspecting scene, thank them for chasing off monsters. Party "investigate" mausoleums, take everything not nailed down. Final mausoleum contains possible necromancer, party decide to lock the door and rouse lynch mob in morning. (50 exp)

- The next morning, the necromancer turns out to be a statue in a spookily fluttering cloak. More stuff is looted. Front of statue's base is found to be detachable, has a crawlway behind. (50 exp)

- Entered warrior dungeon, explored a couple of rooms before being chased out by an actual living statue. (50 exp)

Total: 800 exp

Misc:

- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)

- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- RSPCA bonus (50 exp)

- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)

- Tomb Raider bonus (50 exp)

- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)

- What the Fuck Guys bonus (50 exp)

- Asshole bonus (0 exp - U)

- Owed for mind-controlling a wolf last session (100 exp - Joe Joe)

Total: 400 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- "There is a third city between Edge and Dwarrow. It is called Orciny."

- "Strange dwarfs have been heading out of Dwimmermount and trying to join Muntburg society. They are hated by other Dwarfs."

- "Muntburg is under attack! Horrible giant spiders are swarming out of Dwimmermount to feast!"

- "There's been zombies seen in the hills around Little Reaching, those undead must've found a way under the river!"

- "Gates through the wall are gates to another place. If you climbed over the wall you'd reach a different place than through a gate."

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today!

Exp Totals:

Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 9376 (Level up at 14000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +1 Level 2 spell per day!

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 4 Barbarian: 8037 (Level up at 16000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Level Up table!

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 2 Fighter: 3855 (Level up at 4000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 to hit! +1 on crit/fumble table!

Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)

*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 skill points!

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 2 Halfling: 2927 (Level up at 4000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 to saves! +1 to Taming!

-- Pad 2, Level 0 Wolf

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 18778 (Level up at 35200)

-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2981 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 4158 (Level up at 4400)

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)

Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Session 52 - Back to Civilisation

Finally a break from all the doom and gloom!

Big money big money means you can live like kings or waste it all on hookers and blow, your call.

If you're interested you can find a list of random stuff you can do with your money here

and for the equipment list I guess you'll just have to download the rulebook here.

Equipment starts on page 27.

For Oli - Titus totally had some money in the bank! Less death tax, Lulu's got a big 900 silver in there if/when she takes over the account.

For Dominic - How do you even explain your eyepatch to people? "Yea sorry I've got to keep this on because otherwise a horrible dwarf can see through my eye"?

For all - I also totally forgot to let you guys roll for rumours when you finally got back to civilisation, so I rolled up a few.

- "There was once a Dwarven fortress in the mountains near Pembrooktonshire, but it was destroyed by a dragon over a thousand years ago. It's true it's still there! They have to placate it every year!"
- "At Monk Hill their Moon Festival involves the sacrifice of children. It's barbaric!"

- "The Animal Arena is back in Edge! The Termaxians might be heathens, but damn can they put on a show."

Session 52 - Back to Civilisation

Campaign date:
Friday, 20 September, 1549
Moon phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Virgo

New Characters:

- Joe Joe, a Halfling who has vowed to avenge her parents' deaths at the hands of a murderer. As the murderer escaped, they accidentally dropped a bracelet in a big pile of shit. They justifiably left it behind. Joe Joe dug through the pile to find the bracelet, and used her newfound skills to begin a career in gongfarming. Now she travels the world to find the one who killed her parents.

- "Sir" Stabbington Shanks, a Fighter and former nightwatchman who accidentally smacked the guard captain in the head one night, thinking him a criminal. You're a loose cannon, Stabbington! You're off the force!

Enemies defeated:

- Höolloch by Frosen, critted in a single shot from Lulu's hypertoxic crossbow bolts. (250 exp)

Total: 250 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- A bunch of sacks perfectly sized for human heads (3 exp)

- A chain with grapple (20 exp)

- Three sets of handcuffs (30 exp)

- 22625sp, including profits from silk, ambergris, Starry Hrad's reward for proving there's no gold, and all the rest. Split 7 ways for about 50 gold each.

- Much equipment was bought on the return to town.

Total: 53 exp

Exploration:

- Up to 150 miles of travel (500 exp)

- First party to enter Clunge (hurr hurr) (100 exp)

Total: 600 exp

Events:

- Exited the pit, found corpse-puppet, went to see the Reed People refugees after the newt people took over their village (50 exp)

- Amazingly, Bob totally learnt the click-language of the Reed People when she was working on a slaving ship, strikes up conversation. (50 exp)

- The Reed People can't take back their village because their chieftains have lost their souls. Joe Joe "returns the soul" of one of the chieftains via mind control, chieftain leads Reed People in a glorious charge to retake the village. Newt people take one look and leg it. (50 exp)

- A bunch of jerks on top of the wall are seen through a spyglass. They wave, point at creepy Dwarf on canyon wall. Laugh. (50 exp)
- They yell down from the top of the wall when you're close enough. Have a conversation, they're jerks. They ask about a book. Suddenly Sir Stabbington Shanks is hit from behind by a weird bolt that gives his left eye a second pupil. They leave. (50 exp)

- The wall is climbed and the central breach is climbed down to get to a moored skiff. Halfway down one of the jerks yells from above not to steal his boat. Lulu crits him in the throat and he explodes into poison. (50 exp)

- Bob looks up at the dam as you sail away, sees Dwarf, puts two and two together - the creepy Dwarf can totally see through Stabbington's fucked up eye. Stabbington makes himself a mask to cover that eye, stares at his own balls for a while.

- Lulu rescues DeCosta's horse and skiff. Everyone heads to the Witch village, half the village is dead-eyed and staring from their roofs. Second skiff is given to the non-creepy villagers. How to kill the witch is debated at length, final decision: fuck that. (50 exp)

- Getting to Carrowmore is otherwise uneventful. Starry Hrad is grateful for your bag of iron pyrite, says it's totally great proof of lack of gold. Gives the 5000sp reward in a strongbox. (50 exp)
- Starving Carrowmore townsfolk buy a lot of livestock from the island from you. (50 exp)

- You sail to Gush and Bob meets her old mate Derek from her sailing days! Good bloke, Derek. (50 exp)

- Assets are liquidated and buying stuff ensues. Big money in the city! The party splits in two, one half to party, the other half to go to the bank. (50 exp)
- Party Animals head to Clunge and get wasted. Peggy wakes up with a clear head despite drinking the most, Lulu and Bob get into different kinds of sexy trouble. (50 exp)

- The Fiscally Responsible head to the bank in Edge by way of John Doe's mining business. He drops off his blood-powered mining machine and begins cooking up plans for a reliable supply of blood, possibly in a joint venture with Peggy. They get to Edge and deposit money in the bank. (50 exp)

Total: 700 exp

Misc:

- Antagonist Emancipator bonus (50 exp)

- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)

- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)

- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)

- Fame increased! (50 exp)

- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)

- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)

- Shopping Spree bonus (100 exp)

- OHKO'd Hooloch by Frosen (100 exp)

- Horrifying Realisation bonus (100 exp - Stabbington)

- Badass Backstory Bonus (100 exp - Joe Joe)

- Peggy Caroused! (1760 exp - Peggy)

- Lulu Caroused! (1320 exp - Lulu)

- Bob Caroused! (880 exp - Bob)

Total: 550 exp + bonuses

Quests and Rumours:

- "The Animal Arena is back in Edge! The Termaxians might be heathens, but damn can they put on a show."

Death Toll and Injuries:

- None today! Except for Sir Stabbington's weird eye thing.

Exp Totals:

Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 18778 (Level up at 35200)

*DING!* +1d10 HP! +1 Lorebond!

-- Mr Burg, Level 2 Fighter: 2981 (Level up at 4000)

-- Pig, Level 1 Porcine.

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6917 (Level up at 7000)

Oli / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 3 Barbarian: 5578 (Level up at 8000)

*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on the Barbarian Level Up table!

Kyle / John Doe the Unlucky, Level 2 Dwarf: 4158 (Level up at 4400)

Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2276 (Level up at 4400)

*DING!* +1d12 HP!

Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 1 Fighter: 1396 (Level up at 2000)

Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 1 Halfling: 368 (Level up at 2000)

[[]]

Absent or Retired:

Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 3553 (Level up at 7000)

Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)

Nimrod / U, Level 1 Specialist (Monk): 828 (Level up at 1500)

Leo / Leo, Level 3 Cleric: 6649 (Level up at 7000)

Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)

-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar

Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)

Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)

Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)

Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)

Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)

Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)

Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)

Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)

Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)

Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)

Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)

Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)

Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)

Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)

Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)

Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)

rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)

Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)

Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)

Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)

John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)