Session 418 - Nieval's Shadow Gets Sucked

Date: 23rd September 1625

Zenith Deity: The Lady

Moon Phase: Waxing Crescent

Moon Face: Pocked Face

New Backstory:

- Gryphon was gravely insulted by foreign diplomats in the century before he was cursed, and he challenged them to a duel immediately! +2 to Strength

- Nieval the Good heard knocking at the window of his war rig, and discovered it was a mutant wastelander come to kill him! Nieval survived, the mutant did not. Once per session, cause the most terrible threat on the encounter table to suddenly appear!

Events:

--- Nieval Gets Drained

- In the annex next to the chapel in the bowels of the castle in the middle of the Drudge Wastes, Manrat is staring at the toilet in horror.

- Alas, it is not your common toilet horror. It's a crawling swarm of shadows emerging from the bowl! Manrat slams the door in fear!

- He staggers out into the chapel, surprising the Quislist Cleric and the three Sisters of his retinue. He backs into his allies - Gryphon who grew up in this castle and Nieval the Good his hired goon.

- The others wish to flee and leave the Shadows to it, but Gryphon insists that these are just shadows so what's the issue? Plus there's meant to be a secret door in there somewhere, right?

- They go in, torches flickering aloft, and discover that in the torchlight the shadows are vulnerable to damage! Manrat shoots one and creates a shadowy hole in its chest.

- Nieval demands they use his explosive javelin and throws it into the bathroom, destroying the toilet and revealing a hidden mechanism behind the sink! It's the trigger for the secret door alright! The shadows get nuclear-shadowed onto the walls, and largely stunned.
- The party moves in, Nieval in front, and...

- An unstunned shadow bites the head of Nieval's shadow clean off! Nieval's strength plummets, leaving him a shell of his former self, barely able to stay upright!

- Manrat send in waves of rats to tie up the Shadows with their little rodent shadows while Nieval back, then under rat-cover, strikes the shadow that stole his strength! The shadow fades, revealing that these were the shadows of previous staff of the castle, and vanishes. Sadly for Nieval, his strength does not return!

- Between the rats and Gryphon's fancy sword, the shadows are defeated! Gryphon captures the last piece of the last shadow between two shards of mirror, which he insists works (it does!) because he wants to use it in a meal.

--- Nieval's Quislist Epiphany

- They head out, and the priest expresses surprise at Nieval's new look. He looks terrible!
- Nieval inquires into the Quislist religion and the priest takes pity, giving a sermon about how all men are weak in comparison to the beautiful and strong and noble Red Elves of Mars. Nieval is converted!
- As a sign of trust, he is entrusted with a Red Elf bubble tent which fits 5, expands out from a central device, and has a sort of frosted glass effect when viewed from the outside.

--- We Got Crabs!

- He returns to the others, newly enlightened, and finds Manrat and Gryphon forcing the mechanism that opens the secret door.

- It opens and reveals a room with a caved-in ceiling through which waste-sludge viscously drips. Stoneshell crabs raise their pincers in warning! The room has a whole lot of crab eggs strewn about in the ankle-high gunge. 

- Gryphon plays a song of peace which relaxes the crabs somewhat, and they allow Manrat close enough to feed one of them a hunk of Gryphon's Flavour Cube which has grown no tastier since it was first cooked. The crab vomits everywhere, and the party scarper!

- They head out into the chapel and briefly chat with the priest and his followers. They know nothing about the sinking floor towards the exit (they just walked in and weren't heavy enough to set it off).

- They also restate that there's an Elf with a magic greatsword around here somewhere. They don't know where it is though.

--- Bubble of Relaxation

- Gryphon suggests heading back out and having a bite to eat. Capital idea!
- It's a sustained drizzle that soaks into skin. Scrubby trees hang with withered fruits, which Manrat warns them away from. Last time he ate some autumn berries it made him so viscerally nostalgic that it took him a day or two to recover.

- Gryphon doesn't care, and assumes that you can probably cook out the nostalgic ingredients. He picks a few. They smell like something from an old memory he can't quite place. He tries some and feels his memories getting cloudy...
- The whole group decides to forage together for safety, and they find 6 skiprats! Long-legged hopping rats whose speed allows them to escape Gas Fronts. Manrat's rat swarms lure them in for the hunting kill.

- Nieval sets up the bubble tent and realises that from the outside things might look a bit suspicious...

- Gryphon cooks for everyone, slapping together a meal he calls Necromancer's Ravioli. He makes the ravioli itself from a Mushroom Goblin Head, filling it with rat meat and shadow-stuff. It is actually really tasty and is so good that tonight they count as sleeping in Splendid conditions!

- The exotic foods grant some strange powers, like Gryphon's shadow-wrought strength draining touch.

- They sleep soundly, safe in the bubble, and consider their plans for the morning.

Total: 5000 exp

Loot:

- Red Elf bubble tent

Foes:

- A bunch of shadows (450 exp)

Total: 450 exp

OOC:

- Carter the Chronicler and Cartographer (200 exp/level)

- George the Expedition Leader and Vanguard (200 exp/level)
- Charles the Paymaster and Chef (200 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 8 Ratman: 120034 (Level up at 224000)

- Carter / Gryphon, Level 3 Fighter: 6011 (Level up at 8000)

- Charles / Nieval the Good, Level 3 Specialist: 4188 (Level up at 7000)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!

Session 417 - The Dead and the Devout

Date: 16th September 1625

Zenith Deity: Alaunus

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent

Moon Face: Dragon Face

New Characters:

- Likelangelo, a failed artist (not Hitler!) and Specialist whose art is very much not the strong suit. Maybe it's just too avant garde?

Events:

--- Breach and Clear Off

- After resting in Gryphon's dad's room (RIP in peace) our now mysteriously smaller group made up of Manrat and Sulfur decide to clear the prison section with the goal of turning this castle into their new base of operations.
- They leave and... who's this?? A new character arrives! His name is Likelangelo and he's an awful painter and a real master-of-none of a Specialist. Still, more bodies is almost always good!

- The cell they open is full of midges which fly out and bite people's eyes, it's nasty. Sulfur huffs a Last Breath and sends in a skeleton (name of Gnasher). A grey pseudopod reaches out from under the bed and melts straight through Gnasher's ribcage!

- They close the door. Leave that one as-is, they reckon. Good thing it bars from the outside.

--- Wake Up Dead Man

- They find a net under the bed of the last room in this arm of the prison, and go to the other side which has (get this) more prison doors barred from this side. Manrat sends rats to scout, some return.

- Sulfur sends a skeleton into one of the rooms and it reports that there's a guy in there. Sulfur enters himself, still speaking with the Voice of the Dead, and talks to the shrivelled husk of a man that unfolds itself from the straw pallet.

- The shrivelled man is happy to speak to another with the Voice, and says he'll let everyone leave if Sulfur leaves him a skeleton. Sulfur isn't putting up with that! Necromancer battle!
- Faster than Sulfur can blink, the man is RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM and reaches out with a withered hand, draining a level! He saves so thankfully it only lasts 10 minutes, but he is suddenly filled with fear!

- Sulfur tries out Black Blood Baptism for the first time, punching the withered wight in the stomach and sending black viscera pouring out. It covers Sulfur's entire body in midnight vantablack, grants him a mighty amount of HP, and gives him a draining touch! Alas, there are downsides, like eventually turning into a ghoul if you don't drown yourself in bodily fluids within a few days. Sulfur notes that this is bullshit.

- They trade blows, Manrat contributing nothing of note with Sulfur's rune-hammer, until Sulfur hits the wight with a Confetti Punch and explodes it into confetti! He is surprised himself, that was only supposed to blow a bloody limb off!

- They loot the bed, finding jewels, and Manrat besets Sulfur with a horde of 60 rats which lick and spit all over him. Spit is a bodily fluid, you see, so the black blood washes off under a tide of rat-spit.

--- Our Big New Best Friend

- Minor loot is found in empty rooms until one door bumps into something. It's a massive corpse stitched together from multiple corpses. It's a goddamn Frankenstein! You might be about to say "Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster" but I counter with the fact that Victor was indeed the true monster in the end.

- It rears up when Likelangelo pokes it with a stick, but Sulfur is there! He still speaks with the Voice of the Dead and subjugates the giant zombie, who he names Ezekiel.

--- Urn Your Keep

- In the final room they come upon a huge urn with a big skull on it. Very goth.

- Sulfur speaks with the entity within... it's Gryphon's auntie Mildred! She says that she will grant three wishes to whoever opens the urn. This seems unlikely, so they get Ezekiel to hoik it onto (and, due to a flap of skin, into) his back to use it as a bioweapon. Or I guess in this case necroweapon.
- There were an ungodly number of urn puns which I will not record here on mental health grounds.

--- Highway to the Flavour Cube

- They leave the dungeon into the "fresh" air of the Drudge Wastes to shake off the cobwebs, cook a meal, and reset the Underclock.
- The air is beset by a Melancholy Mist, bringing a sense of sadness and longing. Bushes swell with fat berries, which Manrat warns them away from. They fill you up, but hollow you out emotionally.
- He then sets up the cooking equipment and with a noxious mix of Lard, Mushroom, Bread, Watermelon and Rat he creates "Gryphon's Flavour Cube". All who smell it gag, all who eat it immediately vomit all over the floor. Good thing that Manrat has cleverly named it after Gryphon so future generations will blame him instead.

--- Pressure

- The next day Likelangelo is still feeling rough (and his player is pooped from jetlag) so stays at the camp while the other two venture back into the broken castle. They've got Sulfur's coterie of Dead with them so it's not as foolish as it sounds.
- They open a large set of double doors carved with the nine-pointed symbol of Nonanism. They haven't tried it before, and within is a large space with robes hung up on the far wall.

- Suspiciously, the floor drops very subtly when stepped upon. They quickly jump back and consider. It's not rocking, it's all pressing down at once like a big pressure plate. It resets back up when they jump off. Hmmm.

- Sulfur sends out a skeleton to the big set of similarly carved doors across the room. Nothing happens when the floor depresses, and it reports back that there's nothing in the next room.

- They surmise that it's a pressure plate that responds to too much weight at once, so they carefully leave the minions behind and investigate the robe rack. There are nine robes, one per deity, and a Nonanist symbol in the pocket of one of the robes which has a holy lustre.

- Manrat takes the symbol and the Alaunus robe (since Alaunus is at Zenith) and heads through the next doors into a dark and gloomy church.

--- Worshippers

- A voice cries out from the darkness, "who goes there? Do you worship the foolish 'Gods' of this planet?"

- Manrat reveals that he's a Denialist and shares their dismissal of the Nine as false gods. This intrigues the voice, and it sends out a sister to frisk Manrat. She emerges from behind one of the grand pillars, wearing fake red elf ears and with red facepaint. 

- Before she can get close, Manrat pulls out his Martian Bible and declares that he is in fact a worshipper of the Red Elves too! The voice approves, but the sister frisks him anyway. She pulls back in shock when she sees what he's wearing under his robe - red plate armour of the Red Elves! He speaks the truth!

- He introduces Sulfur as a "recent convert" as the sisters and the Quislist priest who leads them light the torches in here. It's a large church, albeit recently graffitied with Red Elf propaganda.

- The priest offers them a sermon, food, and shelter. Quislism is a new religion, we must help each other! He offers a 5-man bubble-tent that can only be used by Red Elf worshippers, which they sheepishly refuse. Instead they take the two-man tent and some cured Mushroom Goblin Cap flavoured with butter and lard.

- They also mention that they've heard a Bibliognost Elf is roaming around the dungeon wielding a magic sword. Manrat's ears prick up! He also sometimes hears the snapping of pincers in the ablution room next door, but doesn't know where from.

- Manrat and Sulfur declare that they must ablute and go in. It is nice in there. Nine-way fountain, toilet with running water, wardrobe, chest of drawers, some beds. Manrat finds a big silver Red Elf ear that would serve as a holy symbol too.

- They look around for a secret door and... OH NO! CLIFFHANGER! Half a dozen Shadows swarm out of the toilet and towards our heroes!

Total: 8000 exp

Foes:

- A wrinkled old wight (75 exp)

- A goddamn Frankenstein, subjugated (100 exp)

Total: 175 exp

Loot:

- A net

- Bread (5 exp)

- Mushrooms growing on said bread (5 exp)

- A garnet, emerald and amethyst each worth 500ob (1500 exp)
- Trinkets and gems worth 200ob (200 exp)

- Lard (5 exp)

- An urn containing Gryphon's auntie Mildred

- Nonanist Holy Symbol (100 exp)

- Cured goblin head (5 exp)
- Two-man tent

- Quislist Holy Symbol (100 exp)

Total: 1920 exp

OOC:

- Kitty the Chronicler (100 exp/level)

- Issy the Expedition Leader and Cartographer (200 exp/level)
- George the Vanguard and Chef (200 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 8 Ratman: 118217 (Level up at 224000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 5 Boo-gilist: 22311 (Level up at 36000)

- Issy / Likelangelo, Level 2 Specialist: 2771 (Level up at 3500)
*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!

Session 416 - The Dad That Should Not Be

Date: 1st September 1625

Zenith Deity: The Scorned

Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous

Moon Face: Clean Face

New Backstory:

- Manrat was the "audience" during the music of his ritual creation. When someone succeeds at a Music roll nearby, +2 to your next roll.

- Gryphon was washed away in a flood of goblin filth, which cemented his love of being in vehicles above such filth. +1 to Piloting.

- Sulphur was accused of consuming souls in the spirit realm... but it wasn't him that time! This forced his fusion soul into corporeality. Half damage from traps.

Events:

--- Faces New and Old

- Gryphon and Sulphur are huddled around a meagre fire in the night, camped on the fetid ground inside the crumbling curtain walls of a fallen fortress. Nieval the Good, recently healed and clutching his wounds after last session, will be left up here to recover and as such will not be appearing in this session.

- But hark! A sound! A pile of rats emerges and reveals Manrat hiding within! And skulking from the darkness, two Halflings! Gaius Julius Drusus, Roman Halfling Emperor, and Havarti Honeybun, a sweet Halfling lady with no such pretensions. Gaius rides upon Lurpak, a very strong manservant who has developed an odd couple relationship with his mind-master.

- Gryphon and Sulphur fill the crew in. This is a big ol' castle. Classic dungeon vibes. Lots of loot and lore about the mysterious goblin immotile Morning Light Mountain.

--- Spiders!

- They enter the castle, the Halflings loudly discussing how human flavour changes based on social class. Gryphon sorta remembers the way, and they come to a hall in which the high ceiling is covered in webs.
- Gaius spots it as it leaps - a pug-sized hunting spider! It hits him in the face, covering him with a thin layer of web as Lurpak tries to swat it away. Gaius fumbles with his torch and tries to light the web. Alas! It causes MORE spiders to leap out as they flee the flames!

- Gryphon swings his grappling hook and gambits to swing himself INTO a jumping spider! They hit midair and fall in a scrabbling heap. Havarti runs over to "befriend" the fallen spider but shock!!! the mental wrestle is LOCKED! They're in a MIND WAR!

- Gaius lays down covering fire. Sulphur gets bitten hard but ghost-punches it to death in retribution. Havarti loses the MIND WAR! She's stunned, overwhelmed with the spider's weaponised memories of webs and feasting.

- Manrat raises his arms and an outpouring of 40 rats surges forth! Gryphon pulls a spider into the swirling rodent vortex where it is consumed utterly.

- Havarti comes to and sees the devastation. The spiders are dead. Black smoke gutters on the ceiling as the slow fire consumes the grotty webs.
- Two daggers of strange design drop from the crackling webs - they are Sais, such as Raphael the Ninja Turtle might wield. Writing on the blades each read "long suffering". They keep them for Nieval, since their power increases with every lingering wound or disease the wielder is harbouring.

--- Father's Favourite Torture Sauna

- Gryphon leads them further into the castle and they come across what is clearly a torture chamber. Gryphon wonders why his father remodeled his favourite sauna into this!

- He finds a jar of eyeballs and tosses it to Sulphur. Useful reagents! Sulphur himself is pulling teeth out of a skeleton's mouth when SNAP! It bites his hand! Sulphur sucks out the lingering soul, deactivating the skull, then... keeps pulling teeth. It's a handful per cast, you see.

- They also find a couple of books. A racy POWERLAD novel (An Affair with POWERLAD) and a book on the Runic Wars. Sulphur reanimates a squad of skeletons for good measure. Waste not want not!

--- Coats and Prisons

- Gryphon leads them on and they find a chamber with a bed, wardrobe, and other bedroom accoutrements. Gryphon lifts a ring of keys and  a bag of coins from the dresser. Gaius gets a big cloak from the wardrobe and drapes it over himself and Lurpak for a two man "three kids in a coat" routine.

- In the back of the wardrobe is a magic lute! It's a Lute of Courage and causes all morale checks to succeed when played! Gaius plays it very well, a classic tune, then passes it on to Gryphon who promises to learn to play.

- The next area has a few prison cells. Searching the dank straw reveals cooking chorizo (tasty!) and a sachet of Beethoven Spice that grants +5 to Music when used in a meal.

--- I Am Your Father

- The next room is a study with has a body in it, slumped over a desk. Sulphur detects that there's life left in the body!

- They jostle the body and it wakes up, revealing that he is Gryphon's father! It transpires that it was he who hired the witch who cursed Gryphon to sleep for a hundred years and a day, and that he's been slurping Gryphon's blood the whole time to gain eternal life for himself!

- This is very much considered an evil act by all and sundry, and they subject him to summary execution. However his decapitated head rolls to the ground and keeps talking! He's an intelligent undead now!
- Gryphon attaches the head to his belt and chats with his dad while the others loot the corpse.
- They find a key (#12) and a spiked Wolf Choker which summons a spiritual hound!

- With the pub taking last orders, we finish on that bombshell. What will happen next time??

Total: 6000 exp

Treasures Looted: 

- Two Sais of Long-Suffering gain +1 die size per lingering injury and disease.

- Book #384 - An Affair with POWERLAD (100 exp)

- Book #150 - The Runic Wars (100 exp)

- Small bag of coins (300 exp)

- Ring of keys

- Lute of Courage negates morale checks when played

- Box of Cooking Chorizo (10 rations) (10 exp)
- Beethoven's Spice grants +5 to Music. Runs out on 1 in 6.

- Wolf Choker summons a HD4 Spirit Wolf to guard you in your sleep.

Total: 510 exp

Enemies Defeated:

- Some pug-sized hunting spiders (300 exp)

- Gryphon's Dad (20 exp)
Total: 320 exp

OOC: 

- Carter the Chronicler and Paymaster (200 exp/level)
- George the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)

- Tim the Triage (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 8 Ratman: 114246 (Level up at 224000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 5 Boo-gilist: 19440 (Level up at 36000)

- Timothy / Gaius Julius Drusus, Level 4 Halfling: 8854 (Level up at 16000)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 to Mind Control! +1 to Cooking! +Backstory!

- Carter / Gryphon, Level 3 Fighter: 4194 (Level up at 8000)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d8 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 to Hit! +1 to Crit/Fumble! +Backstory!

- Ollie / Havarti Honeybun, Level 2 Halfling: 2925 (Level up at 4000)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 to Mind Control! +1 to Cooking! +Backstory!

Session 415 - A Castle in the Wastes

 Date: 19th August 1625

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face

Zenith Deity: The Lady

Retired:

- Maxwell has retired to concoct schemes that will keep Morning Light Mountain contained.
- Zeppelino has retired to lead the Drudgespar goblin remnants. Manrat also did this further to the south-west so we might be in a warring states period.

 

New Characters:

- Nieval the Good, Specialist and former "Rig Rider". Survived in the Wastes via a vaulting pole, an exploding javelin, and sheer fucking will. Latterly became a villein to our other newest member.
- Gryphon, bearer of ancient techniques of swordcraft. He was cursed to sleep for a hundred years and a day and woke up in the post-apocalypse. Made it out of his country pile alive and hired Nieval with baroque coins.

Events:

--- Crash Landing

- In a minor retcon I have drawn the following - 

- The landing site is up to the players, and they decide to go for the castle to the east.

- Given the recent retirements it's just Sulphur crash-landing in the balloon made out of a very large inflated pig, and thus he lands in the sludge a short walk from our new additions. Their names are Gryphon (long-lost lord of the nearby manor) and Nieval the Good (recently hired because he can speak the modern lingo). 

- In the usual way of things, everyone trusts each other.

- Gryphon informs the party that there is much treasure in his castle, or at least that was so in the last century, so they all head towards the collapsed fortification as it sinks into the stinking goo of the Drudge Wastes.

--- An Entry

- Before entering the dungeon proper, Gryphon clambers onto the roof and grabs some weaponry from the decayed bastion. He finds trinkets and a few knives.
- The stairs leading in are, for some reason, leading downwards from the surface level. Inspection reveals that they are hinged, overengineered, and would have otherwise have led upwards.

- The entry chamber is lined by pillars. On the right they are carved to represent noble bow-armed humans. On the left they are carved into snivelling goblins with shelf-fungus on the back of their necks.

- With no immediate danger they head into the dungeon, taking note of stone feathers that flake in the corners. They speculate that there's a cockatrice around here somewhere.

--- Falling Floor

- The corridor turns left and fans out into a multitude of doors. The floor is covered in ankle-height sludge.

- They go north and, hey! The door hasn't been opened for a while! The floor is untouched by sludge and has big chequerboard squares within a chalk rectangle that runs around the room.
- Sulphur tosses his POWERLAD novel onto a square and sees it rock downwards on a hinge. Taking a peek, he sees countless fungoid goblins on punji pit spikes. Honestly it wouldn't hurt to fall down there at this point due to the sheer number of corpses.

- Nieval walks around the chalk outline to the door and discovers that it is locked! Sulphur punches a handful of teeth into the keyhole and magically detonates them.

- KABOOM!
- The lock is destroyed, the door opens.

--- Falling Floor 2: The Lowering

- Behind the door is an annex with crossbows, spears and swords mounted on the walls. This is clearly a defense position. The lack of crossbow kills in the pits is a credit to the designer, the goblins just fell in there!

- Our heroes arm themselves. Waste not want not and all that.

- They continue on and discover a room in which the floor whirrs and lowers when stepped upon. The walls have awful paintings of dying goblins on them, such that as the floor lowers more horrific tortures are revealed.

- Gryphon and Sulphur tie themselves to a rope, run to different doors, and discover that the floor falls faster with more weight on it. Gryphon opens his door and hears goblin voices from within.

- Gryphon shouts to lure them out. These goblins have big ol' fly agaric mushroom heads, and their leaders' head is extremely plump and effulgent. 

- Their hobgoblin leader declares that he's a motile of Morning Light Mountain and is doing its bidding. He also declares that his mind will transfer to his minions if he's killed. Battle ensues!

--- Caught in a Trap, No Turning Back

- Gryphon attempts to throw the hobgoblin straight into the pit, fails, and is saved by Sulphur who somehow manages to whiplash himself into the pit. THEN Nieval exchanges himself with Sulphur. It's a hell of a time.

- The hobgoblin tears the mushroom straight off his head and frisbees it into combat where it starts spewing stun poison.

- Nieval slaps the hobgoblin's hand and feels some mycelial horror worming its way into his palm. He starts to feel it invade his brain. This is very much NOT GOOD.

- His fears begin to manifest in a very physical way. His shadow splits and splits and splits. The worst part is that the others can also see this happening.

- Sulphur dives down, hammer blazing with glyph-fire, smashing the hobgoblin on the shoulder. Alas, the follow-through shatters Nieval's nose.

- The burning hammer keeps the shadows away while Sulphur's return swing knocks the hobgoblin's head right off its shoulders. It's dead! Maybe!

--- His Saviours

- Gryphon fishes his allies out of the pit. Nieval is truly fucked at this point. They drag his barely-surviving body out of the castle and prop him up against a wall, then go searching for something to cook.

- They find a few bulbs. Better than nothing. It's the soft-glowing shallot called Glimmerjack that grows amongst tree roots.

- Gryphon cooks up "Gloam Stew", which honestly sounds really tasty from his description despite having only one ingredient.

- They basically pour it all down Nieval's throat until he feels better. He is now extremely full but otherwise surviving. He lives!

- Without any camping gear they peer up at the castle. Do they go back in? Only time will tell.

Total: 7000 exp

Murders:
- One mushroom-headed hobgoblin (100 exp)

Total: 100 exp

Treasures:

- Some weaponry

- 12 obols-worth of trinkets (12 exp)
Total: 12 exp

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 5 Boo-gilist: 18017 (Level up at 36000)
*LEVEL UP! +1d4 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 Mana! +Free Spell! + Backstory!

- Carter / Gryphon, Level 2 Fighter: 2371 (Level up at 4000)
*LEVEL UP!* +1d8 HP! +1 to Saves! +1 to Hit! +1 to Crit/Fumble! +Backstory!

- Charles / Nieval the Good, Level 2 Specialist: 2371 (Level up at 3500)

*LEVEL UP!* +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! +2 Skill Points! +Backstory!

Session 414 - We Dropped This City! We Dropped This City in the Goblin Hole!

Date: 19th August 1625

Moon Phase: Waxing Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face

Zenith Deity: Oberon

New Characters:

- Brick, a Dwarf named for his dismal intelligence and (to our surprise since his failed career was rolled after naming) is an ex-bricklayer. There was much debate over what a "bricklaying stick" is, and it turns out in the end I was JUSTIFIED because it turns out I was thinking of a brick hod!

- Albedo, Inheritor from the Wastelands who it seems is a recovered vampire.

- Havarti Honeybun, a Halfling who survived the apocalypse by living in the veins of the earth.

Events:

--- Much Confusion

- There is initially much confusion because I hadn't done the previous recap before jetting off to Australia. Thankfully Carter keeps excellent records so was able to get us up to speed. Hurrah! Thank you Carter!
- As such, we find the party airborne over the Drudge Wastes, bobbing through the skies in the cracked remains of the bucket-city of Drudgespar, held aloft primarily be an enormous balloon made of the skin of a blue whale.

- Cytoplasmic mycelial gunk starts dripping out of the city and Sulphur uses a Soul Sight spell to confirm that yes, it is ensouled and yes, it's infecting whatever it likes down there! The party helps continue the goblin evacuation, warning them of the new threat.
- In the drama, two new people enter the party. Brick, a Dwarf, and Albedo, and Inheritor, get caught up in all the rush and are immediately trusted in the way that only PCs truly are.

- Albedo tests the mycellium in the walls... and it shoots out and starts trying to worm its way through her to her heart! Luckily she's an Inheritor so collapses into a pool of glooping ooze and blood to digest it right back. She absorbs its mycelium attack!

- Maxwell sets his helpers (with the help of a Repel-Life rune) to keep the cytoplasm back while they retreat.

--- Brick Save Pod

- Sulphur hears goblins pleading for aid in Bucketsides, and there they are! A little clan of bud-goblins whose peapod is threatened by the evacuation. They are congenitally unable to move it themselves, so it's Brick to the rescue! He digs out the pod, roots and all, and hefts it into his sack of bricks. The pod is saved!

- While Albedo discovers her new power (via lengthy negotiation), Sulphur is confronting some goblins with white eyes who have been taken over by the wall mycellia. Soul Sight shows that they're all connected to some sort of gestalt, they are BRIMMING with soul. They tell him their only wish is to kill everything on the planet, then run off to cause chaos!

--- Loot While You've Got the Chance

- Up on the top level, Maxwell and Zeppelino are rigging up a big Repel-Gravity rune to help get the city to its final destination above Morning Light Mountain. It's about 6 hours until the destination.

- In the mean time, they might as well loot the city! Turns out there's more lube around than expected.

- The city is now passing by Grendel, the great clockwork city built around a huge central crankshaft. Bystanders below gawp at the city flying past above. They might come back here, but first! The mission!

--- Vampire Speed Boost

- As the sun sets they see a swarm of dark shapes fast approaching from the southwest. It's a swarm of vampires sent to check out vhat's been happenink!

- Considering that there are actually blood-havers here, they are willing to make a deal! If they can have some blood, they're willing to help push the city to the final destination! In exchange they'll get lots of (willingly given and indirectly obtained) blood. The blood-havers start draining themselves in advance so they don't pass out from the blood loss later.

- They get closer and closer, now moving above the huge menacing spikes that slant outwards from the centre where Morning Light Mountain lurks...

--- City Just Dropped

- Finally Drudgespar is directly above. It's go time! The vampires are given their bloody reward (plus some alterket) and seem rather pleased.

- Goblins swarm below like ants and so Maxwell triggers the lightning rune he's been saving up. The goblins below are fried!... but then they start getting back up!

- Damn better do what they wanted then. They release the city from the blue whale balloon and drop the whole thing directly onto the home of Morning Light Mountain.
- It goes BOOOM and a shockwave ripples through the sludge in all directions! Crater dynamics are considered!

- The words MORNING LIGHT MOUNTAIN echo in everyone's minds, and the cytoplasm remaining in the city's walls squirms and squiggles against the ground as darker, greener cytoplasm emerges from the sludge and begins to subsume it...

--- Still Gotta Eat

- Up in the blue whale, ears popping after its rapid rise before the blue goblins could let out enough hydrogen from the gas bladders to stabilise it, the party decides that they'd better have something to eat before dealing with whatever it is that's going on down there.

- They make the aptly named "Rubble and Squeak" from a relatively homely mix of Rat, Sourdough, Mushroom and Potato. It's pretty good!

Total: 7000 exp

Enemies Defeated:

- A whole lot of goblins, kinda (1000 exp)

- Morning Light Mountain??? (??? exp)

Total: At least 1000 exp

Treasures Looted:

- 12 silver coins (12 exp)
- 2 vials of acid.

- 2 vials of lubricant.

- 2 doses of Alterket
- 3 doses of Notcoke

- Arcane Bath Bomb gives spellcasters back all their Mana.
- Scroll #61 - "Putrefy Food and Drink"
- Book #336 - "POWERLAD: Captivated by the Cultists"
- Amber Fishing Rod grants +2 to Bushcraft when fishing

Total: 12 exp

OOC:

Carter the Chronicler and Cartographer (200 exp/level)

Charles the Paymaster (100 exp/level)
Ollie the Quartermaster and Chef (200 exp/level)
Kitty the Vanguard (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 7 Goblin: 89977 (Level up at 128000)

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 7 Specialist: 69484 (Level up at 112000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 4 Boo-gilist: 15646 (Level up at 18000)

- Kyle / Brick, Level 1 Brick: 1502 (Level up at 2000)

- Sophia / Albedo, Level 1 Inheritor: 1502 (Level up at 2250)

- Ollie / Havarti Honeybun, Level 1 Halfling: 1502 (Level up at 2000)

Session 413 - Drudgespar Debate Society

Date: 15th July 1625

Moon Phase: Waning Gibbous

Moon Face: Dragon Face

Zenith Deity: The Lady

Events:

--- The Aftermath

- After fighting off a load of space-Dwarves (?) and hiding once more in the safety cube, our party emerge relatively refreshed!

- Maxwell has a lot of opinions on the structural integrity and tensile strength of Drudgespar now that the forces at work have effectively reversed.

- The ground is unsteady as the great city sways through the skies. If they go up, it's goblins (blue or otherwise). If they go down, more of those Dwarves in the beetle-black suits. There's also a big hole that's been blown in one side of the big cone.

- Cytoplasmic ooze begins bubbling up from below, swirling around Dwarf bones. A quickly scrawled Detect-Life glyph shows that it's ALIVE! In fact, VERY ALIVE!

--- Who Out Here Extruding They Goblin

- A goblin form slowly grows and forms out of the cytoplasm. He's green but he's got shelf-fungus ridges and white eyes. It introduces itself as a Motile.

- They talk for a while, it is commanded by the Immotile Deep Dark Dissident who has grown into the walls of the Dwarven Arcology below, the better to escape the solar system in the event of the Earth's collapse.

- It collapses back into ooze. Maxwell tries to bring it back with a quick Take-Life rune and absorbs... too much life?! He tries absorbing some of it that life into himself but feels something powerful start to subsume him! He breaks the rune and lets the energies drain away.

--- Let's Go Up, Gang!

- They decide to go up to the main city and parley with the blue goblins now that they have this new information. It's anti-grav time on the safety cube. Up up and away!
- They land on the Undercity layer and head upwards, on the way accosted by a drunk Australian woman who apparently lives inside my mind, ready to come out at any time. She's absolutely pissed on boxed wine.
- It transpires that she's an Elf called Spatchcock - a Gluntie Queyne if you want to get technical - and after some banter agrees to lead the party to the lift up to the Skirts where the blue goblins currently rule.
- On the way, Maxwell informs an anti-blue rebel hobgoblin of various other runes they can use. It's not just Take-Lightning. There are others! However this situation calls for a truly massive Take-Lightning rune that should hopefully depower all the blue goblins above. Can you get the rebellion on that? Nice one, thanks.

Spatchcock, meanwhile, has heard the Word through Nostradama and converted to Nonanism. Will she remember she did this once the hangover's worn off? Only the Nine can know!

--- Audience with the Bloblins

- They get on the lift to the Skirts and while it makes its slow, lumbering, rickety way up the walls of Drudgespar they see the goblins below lighting up the super-rune. By the time the party reaches the Skirts the blue goblins are in disarray! They can still fly, but their powers are being curtailed!
- Sulphur demands to see their leader and, under the circumstances, they take the party straight there.

- The leader is called The Almighty Bode and the effects of the Take-Lightning glyph have turned him a strange shade of mauve.

- He tells them the plan again - drop Drudgespar on the Place of Honour, killing the evil Immotile Morning Light Mountain, Mother of Goblins. They won't attack it directly because it can mind control goblins, which is why it's been contained but left to its own devices in a landscape of spikes all this time. Wipe it out and its evil influence will never affect goblinkind ever again!

- The city is to be evacuated, and so the goblin residents depower the giant Take-Lightning rune and begin bailing out by parachute and helicopter-hat and sometimes just loads of padding. Down into the mushroom forest below. Manrat plans to go down there and lead them as some sort of Khan.
- The great city keeps moving inexorably towards the Place of Honour where Morning Light Mountain lies scheming...

Total: 5000 exp

OOC:

Carter the Chronicler, Cartographer and Paymaster (300 exp/level)

Zoë the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)
Kitty the Vanguard (100 exp/level)
George the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- - George / Manrat Snels, Level 8 Ratman: 112023 (Level up at 224000)
Level Up! +1d6 HP! +1 to Saves! 64 Rat Max! +Backstory!

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 7 Specialist: 67982 (Level up at 112000)

- Zoë / Nostradama, Level 6 Cleric of Nonanism: 39209 (Level up at 72000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 4 Boo-gilist: 14144 (Level up at 18000)

Session 412 - What Does This Button Do?

 Date: 24th June 1625

Moon Phase: New Moon

Moon Face: Pocked Face

Zenith Deity: The Scorned

New Characters:

- Lazy Lie, a Fighter who looks remarkably like a big blue dragon in a moustache... but that can't be right surely??

Revealed Backstory:

- Sulphur gave generously to Bulgur's funeral! +2 Charisma

- Nostradama knocked on a scary old door in a scary old house in the hopes of converting the scary old woman to the light of Nonanism! +2 to doing something everyone says is a bad idea

- Gaius Julius Drusus ate the biggest human he'd ever seen to prove his bravery! +2 Strength

Events:

--- A Long-Prophesied Return

- The party, seeking snacks after their battle with the massive Terran, enter the dungeon pantry.

- Within they find a big blue dragon who says he's a Fighter, and a returning character from long ago! Gaius Julius Drusus, alleged Roman Emperor and Halfling!

- Sulphur cooks a delicious beef and black pudding wellington. It's genuinely amazing.

--- Mysterious Seating Arrangement

- They hear the knocking of an encounter at an external door, but they'd cleverly countermanded it by opening just the inward-facing airlock doors.

- Still, maybe not that way.

- They come to a large mysterious cube-shaped room. Padded seats with rollercoaster-style braces are gimballed to the walls.

- Maxwell draws a Talk-Electricity rune to communicate with the electronics. The vibes are good, so the electricity does him a solid and flips out a big console with a big red button on it! It also has two keys at either end which give that "turn these simultaneously" vibe.

--- Strap In

- Maxwell is enamoured of the big red button. What could go wrong with pressing a big red button?

- Everyone else straps into a seat, and one of the seats swings down for Maxwell.
- He pressed the button and...
- BOOOMM!!!! Massive explosion! Everyone's seats rock and their stomachs drop as they fall!
- After several stomach-lurching seconds there's a great crash. The seats worked perfectly though, everyone's unharmed.

--- You Maniacs, You Blew It Up!

- They spin the door open and beyond is... a disaster. It's all gone. They're inside a great spherical impact crater. A whole lower section of Drudgespar above has been broken off above, a huge spike aimed ominously downwards. The glooping stuff of the wastes leaks in around it. The dungeon itself is just... gone.

- There is a great tearing, cracking sound as the rest of Drudgespar shears off. The blue goblins, the blue whale balloon, and all the other balloons that were trying to float Drudgespar can finally take the weight!
- Bits of giant scorpion rain down to Manrat's horror. He'd just paid for that!

--- Dwarf Defence

- Before they can truly work out what to do next, hatches open up around the circular smooth surface of the bottom of the impact crater. Dwarves pop out along with mounted repeater crossbows!
- They are wearing slick black armour with clear bubble helmets and they are, for fairly good reason, absolutely livid.

- Battle is joined. The crossbows (and importantly, hatches) are arrayed around the room in a big circle, so the party splits into multiple groups to charge in!
- Maxwell has a solo battle with a Dwarf on the long ladder that leads down from the hatch, firing beams at each other. He gambits to hook the Dwarf with his fire axe and sends it down the shaft, before doing another gambit to swing down after and gut it!
- He lands and finds himself surrounded by Dwarves, but they're all holding back in fear of this demon who blew up the world then murdered their compatriot with a flaming axe.

- Meanwhile Sulphur has been punching (and Last Breath collecting) his way down one of the hatches. He slurps up some sputum and engages Soul Vision which lets him see souls, and due to a faint soul-energy in the stone he can see in the dark. He spots the souls of Zeppelino and co and starts running the corridor.
- Speaking of Zeppelino and co, the "co" here being Manrat and Nostradama, they've slid down the hatch ladder and are currently under assault by a whole squad of Dwarves. After eating a few close calls, they decide discretion is the better part of valour and bug out. Zeppelino brings up the rear, his talking shield biting undies to protect them from below.

--- Corpse-Punch!

- Sulphur sees the others escaping and slips through that room while the Dwarf squad is firing up the shaft. Stealth!
- He keeps going, seeing Maxwell ahead and the souls of the cowering Dwarves.

- Maxwell sees Sulphur coming and with a great burst of strength throws the corpse of the Dwarf he killed towards him! Sulphur sees what's coming, brings back a fist, and flash-steps into a Corpse Explosion Punch!

- The corpse explodes, showering the surrounding Dwarfs in shards of bone and jagged discs of solidified blood! Maxwell and Sulphur escape while the Dwarfs scream in pain and shock.

--- Safety Box

- The various party members arrive up top to find that Gaius and Lazy Lie have managed to mount a repeating crossbow onto the "fighter" dragon's back, which again is suspicious. Gaius has mounted the other's back and created a sort of biological technical. He gives cover fire as the others run back to the safety of the cube!

Total: 8000 exp

Loot Acquired:

- Ramen packets and olive oil (10 exp)
- Dwarf "space suit"

Total: 10 exp

Enemies Defeated

- Loads of Dwarves (1000 exp)

Total: 1000 exp

OOC:

Charles the Chronicler (100 exp/level)

George the Expedition Leader (100 exp/level)

Carter the Cartergrapher (100 exp/level)

Nick the Vanguard (100 exp/level)

Tim the Triage (100 exp/level)

Kitty the Chef (100 exp/level)

Exp Totals:

- George / Manrat Snels, Level 7 Ratman: 109973 (Level up at 112000)

- Charles / Zeppelino, Level 7 Goblin: 88475 (Level up at 128000)

- Carter / Maxwell, Level 7 Specialist: 64632 (Level up at 112000)

- Zoë / Nostradama, Level 6 Cleric of Nonanism: 37359 (Level up at 72000)

- Kitty / Sulphur, Level 4 Boo-gilist: 12494 (Level up at 18000)

- Timothy / Gaius Julius Drusus, Level 3 Halfling: 7031 (Level up at 8000)

- Nick / Lazy Lie, Level 1 Suspiciously Dragon-Shaped Fighter: 1288 (Level up at 2000)