Session 211 - All Hail the Goblin King!

I'm just going to led this session stand on its own. Holy crap. Short version:

Styx is the new Fated King and has control over the walking city of Fate.

GOOD WORK!!!

Session 211 - All Hail the Goblin King!

Campaign Date:

Ides, 15th June, 1601

Moon Phase: First Quarter

Zenith: Dispater

Zodiac: Taurus

New Backstory:
- Snels was born under an omen of DOOM! His family is cursed so that only their first-born survives while others die. (+1 HD-worth of HP when another PC dies)
- Corgi Malone of Abhor Global shouldn’t have kissed that celebrity sex pest when he made a move on her, but she did. (Once per session, cause someone to make a romantic advance on you)

Treasure and Equipment:

- Fortress-City Fate (incalculable, so like 100000 exp? Fuck it you earned it)

Total: 100000 exp

Enemies Defeated:

- False Styx (75 exp)
- 5 False Styx Henchmen (250 exp)

Total: 325 exp

Exploration:

- Travelled 10ish miles (20 exp)

Total: 20 exp

Events:

--- You Wake Up In A Dungeon

- We start the new year with the party in the belly of a spooky dungeon. They are in a dark chapel, old pews leading up to a grim altar set within the grinning mouth of a giant carved skull. The dungeon is beginning to wake up, and whispered blasphemies can be heard from somewhere deeper in. (50 exp)
- Snels decides to go deeper in, following vague memories of this place and the advice of his statue-brother on his back. On his own, naturally. (50 exp)
- The others debate next steps in furtive whispers in the dying light of their candles. Back to Fate? Keep investigating this place? Should they head to the Barrowmaze and stop Cyrus getting the artifact that will allow him to control all Undead? (50 exp)
- Snels creeps through the darkness of a long long corridor. The whispered blasphemies get louder, and there is a voice singing a song of enervation. He comes upon a basin full of coins, and above the basin is a great carved eye whose pupil is itself made up of many eyes. (50 exp)
- He flicks a coin into the basin and feels improved! The eyes flash and his dexterity increases! (50 exp)
- He is joined by Abhor Global and Dumbledorris who have become bored with the debate over what to do next. Snels continues deeper in, hearing the piping song getting louder, and turns to look into the children’s crypt he checked out before. (50 exp)
--- The Children’s Crypt
- He finds that in his absence someone has set up a strange fresco made up of children, all engaged in blasphemous or horrifyingly sexual acts. They all have copper coins over their eyes except one… (50 exp)
- That one has only a single coin over one eye. The other eyes swivels to look RIGHT AT SNELS and it leaps for him! (50 exp)
- Snels runs back to the long corridor and hopefully safety, the animated zombie children crawling rapidly along floor and walls and ceiling to hunt him down! (50 exp)
- Abhor Global holds the line against the zombie kids. Black saliva drooling over their needle teeth as they savage the interns who are sent, one by one, to the great BBC office in the sky. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris, Snels and the last named characters of ABhor Global sprint out of the dungeon, picking up the debaters on their way through the chapel, making their way rapidly to the surface. (50 exp)
--- The Peak of Mt Death Frost

- The party returns to the camp out of the front of the black fortress atop Mt Death Frost. It’s the perfect place for Abhor Global to regain a few down-on-their-luck interns and restore themselves to a full mob of Extras. (50 exp)
- They also meet today’s replacement romantico - Muchacho Romantico! A buff, brash Romantico teen! (50 exp)

- From up here near the peak they can see the great green Apocalypse Dragon Ninhursag striding along the coast towards the prime tentacle to the southeast. It’s working! (50 exp)
- Of course they can also see black Ereshkigal above the prime tentacle, the gravity well above its jaws pulling down the moon. A few miles away, Fate stands locked up at the edge of the river Deeprush. Rebels have stopped it from moving. (50 exp)
--- Return to Fate
- They head back to Fate by wing and by Guber, meet up with Styx in his angel-bot who is ready to address the Rebellion about their final push to victory, and get on the rails down to the Deep City. (50 exp)
- It’s a rollercoaster rush down to the Deep City station, and soon they’re there! The train doors open and reveal a crowd ready to hear Styx’s words! (50 exp)
- And there, on-stage is… Styx!? (50 exp)
--- Usurper of the Rebellion
- The Styx on stage is huge and hench, strikingly handsome despite his Goblin features with a jawline that could cut glass. A green Adonis. Our Styx, the real Styx, cannot fucking believe this. (50 exp)
- Muchacho Romantico, delighted, begins selling churros to the crowd and working his way forward with his churro cart that he apparently just has lying around. (50 exp)
- Styx stands tall in his angel-bot and points at the false Styx, “You’re a fake! I’m the real Styx!” (50 exp)
- False Styx laughs and beckons him forward, declaring to the crowd that this is just one of his rambunctious goblin offspring am I right guys? (50 exp)
- Up close, Styx can see the stitching and scar tissue that marks someone as Remade. This false Styx was transformed into a big goblin-like guy in the Impound of Flesh! (50 exp)
- He also sees that False Styx’s henchmen are blatantly just humans in goblin masks and green body paint. It’s all a trick! (50 exp)
- He calls out the False Styx’s henchmen and tells him to remove their masks. He pretends to tug at their head and says “ha ha no mask here, please pipe down little false Styx”. (50 exp)
- All this messing around means that the goblins in the crowd know what’s up, especially when False Styx claims he reproduces by flexing. At least they’re on side. (50 exp)
- Finally Styx has had enough. “If you won’t take off their masks, I will!”. He turns the angel’s beam cannons on one of the henchmen… and his angel shuts down. “Ha! Only the REAL Styx can control angels!” booms the False Styx. (50 exp)
--- Oh it’s on
- Snels leaps onto the stage and runs towards the henchmen, inflicting one with crippling fear! Dumbledorris leaps on stage and blasts a rush of lady-mones, making the people in the front row start moshing passionately! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD gets a message from Hyper-Jesus via earpiece - “this is bad, kill the real Styx!” - and suddenly has a dilemma! (50 exp)

- Snels is booted back from the henchmen and into the mosh pit, but he unleashes BARBARIAN RAGE and chucks a love-crazed dancer into a gantry overhead! It falls, bowling over Fake Styx and a bunch of his henchmen! (50 exp)
- Real Styx runs up along the gantry and leaps at False Styx, dagger raised above his head, but is knocked aside by the great brute who grabs a greataxe from backstage and turns on him. (50 exp)
- It’s a battle for the soul of the Rebellion! Sparks fly as they square off, huge brute against quick Styx. (50 exp)
- Styx’s followers begin pushing their way through the crowd to support him, and POWERLAD takes flight above the crowd, still debating who he’ll help. (50 exp)
- Snels leaps onto the stage and with impossible strength grabs the gantry and sweeps it across the stage! Everyone is bowled over by the sheer force! (50 exp)
- False Styx is battered in the face but rolls to his feet. He wipes the red blood away from his mouth with the back of his arm. Real Styx points and yells - “red blood! He is no true goblin!”. The goblins in the crowd bay for blood. (50 exp)
- Panicked, False Styx points to the dormant angel-bot and commands it to move! It does so, charging its beam weapons, aiming them straight at the real Styx! (50 exp)
- POWERLAD “accidentally” lands in between the two of them, blocking the shot. Hyper-Jesus projects a hologram from the angel’s eye and commands the death of false prophets! (50 exp)
--- Long live the king

- Real Styx sees this and turns back towards False Styx, framed at the edge of the stage, goblins in the crowd below working themselves into a frenzy. He runs, leaps off the gurney, thrusts out with his legs… (50 exp)
- False Styx stumbles, steps backwards beyond the edge of the stage, begins to fall... (50 exp
- Dumbledorris uses the power of the dancers to cast witch magic, sends out a magical plant-control blast that turns the goblins in the crowd into steely-eyed killers. (50 exp)
- False Styx falls and is torn apart by the goblins. He screams as they tear him limb from limb with their bear hands. Most of the humans stagger backwards in horror, but some join in. His guts are red. (50 exp)
- Styx stands above it all, witnessing the power of the mob. His mob. The Rebellion is his! (50 exp)
- In POWERLAD’s ear, Hyper-Jesus shrieks “Kill him! Kill Styx! He’s ruining everything!” (50 exp)

- Suddenly he stops, and realises he just said that out loud. His hologram was projected to everyone present. (50 exp)
--- Rise up!

- Styx advances on Hyper-Jesus’ projection. He grabs the microphone and addresses the crowd. (50 exp)
- “The Resistance was never about a new Messiah. It’s about people saving themselves, working together, overthrowing a tyrant god!” (50 exp)
- He turns to the projection of Hyper-Jesus, “We’re coming for YOU!” (50 exp)
- Hyper-Jesus’ hologram vanishes. The angel-bot self-destructs. The earpiece in POWERLAD’s ear goes dead. Hyper-Jesus has just… gone. The whirr of machinery starting up again begins across the city. (50 exp)
--- We March!
- A spontaneous march on the Sciotherico has begun across the city. The populace marches onwards to surround the palace entrance. On the way, on the train, surrounded by his supporters, Styx admits something to the rest of the party - he’s been in control of the Resistance the whole time. (50 exp)
- What a twist! He’s been working at cross-purposes to the party! (50 exp)
- To be fair everyone assumed as much. They weren’t expecting me, the DM, to be lying for him outside of the game though! The cruelest twist of all! (50 exp)
- While the crowds gather at the front of the palace, Styx and his crew enter the throne room via the steam tunnels. (50 exp)
- They find the throne room is full of rotating protective spheres, but one by one they stop spinning and retract, leading up to the throne itself. There is a woman slumped there, wires and cables connecting to the wooden circlet upon her brow. (50 exp)
- With Hyper-Jesus gone, a projection of Dispater appears at the foot of the steps leading up to the throne. He introduces himself to Styx and motions to the throne - “I suppose it’s only fitting, the Crown needs a strong will yet a spirit of collaboration, a person with confidence and compassion. Terms Termax was never that man.” (50 exp)
- “Styx, would you be the one to take the throne? Will you become the new Fated King?” (50 exp)
--- Long Live the King!!!

- Styx approaches the throne reverently, ascending the steps and standing before it. The figure on the throne looks up at him painfully, “Why did He leave me?” (50 exp)
- Styx takes the wooden circlet from her brow. She spasms once, then slumps forward and collapses on the throne’s steps.
- He takes the throne and lowers the crown onto his head. Immediately there is a clamour of voices, a direct link to the city itself, and the sense of being amongst many minds. His irises become a colour wheel, a combination of the eyes of all who’ve worn the crown. (50 exp)
- He can feel the city like it’s his body. An experience that would overwhelm, were it not for the souls of prior Fated Kings and Queens in the crown taking on the mental load of controlling Battlefortress Fate. (50 exp)
- Dispater waves a robed arm and declares, “Styx is the true Fated King, by the will of God and Man! Long Live the King!” (50 exp)
- Outside, Styx’s head appears projected above the palace, smiling benevolently. The palace doors open, people flood into the throne room and fall to their knees before their new Fated King. A chant goes up across the city - “Long Live the King! Long Live the King!” (50 exp)

-
--
--- Post Credits

- While the city roars their praise for their new saviour, a robed POWERLAD ducks into an unseen alcove. He taps his earpiece, hoping the Hyper-Jesus can still hear him. (50 exp)
- He gets a faint signal, Hyper-Jesus’ voice staticky and distant. (50 exp)
- “POWERLAD, I was only doing what was right. I was following the original schematics, you’ve got to believe me! Persuade them to take the city to Dwimmermount, it’s the only place with enough Azoth to power the city’s Sky-Fortress mode!” (50 exp)
- In the distance, another pulse of blackness from the downed Black Sun washes across the land. The earpiece goes dead. POWERLAD’s dilemma continues. (50 exp)
Total: 3250 exp

Misc:

- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Annihalator bonus (50 exp)
- Antagonist Antagoniser bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomancy bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Heresy bonus (50 exp)
- Holy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Internecine Strife bonus (50 exp)
- Literally for real a terrorist bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Ludicrous Gore bonus (50 exp)
- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Politico bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- SpoOoOoky bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1350 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Kitty, Carter - 100 exp ea.)

- Caller (James / Abhor Global - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Carter / Styx - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Charles / Muchacho Romantico - 100 exp)

- Guard (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Suzie / Dumbledorris - 100 exp) - Art Attack (Charles - 100 exp) - Artapalooza (Charles - 100 exp)- Mügmastyr bonus (Charles, Kitty - 100 exp ea.) - Inspiring Speech bonus (Carter - 100 exp) - Good End bonus (Carter - 500 exp)

Active Businesses:

- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)

--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)

--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:

-

Death Toll and Injuries:

-

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 157849 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp) 

- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 6 Inheritor: 50169 (Level up at 72000)
*DING!* +1d6 HP! +2 Meat Points! +1 Mutation Capacity!
- James / Abhor Global, Level 6 Extras: 25443 (Level up at 48000)
*DING!* +1d12 HP! +1 Named Character! +backstory!*DING!* +1d12 HP! +1 Named Character! +backstory!  

- Jorge / Oliver Snels, Level 5 Barbarian: 23264 (Level up at 32000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian rolls! +backstory! 
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian rolls! +backstory! 
- Charles, ??? Romantico, Level 5 Barbarian: 30655 (Level up at 32000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian rolls! +backstory!
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +1 round of rage! +2 barbarian rolls! +backstory!    

- Carter's Next Character: +18291 exp!

Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 81366 (Level up at 128000)
*ASCENDED TO GOD-KING*

Absent or Retired:
- Timothy / Galaxy RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 38181 (Level up at 72000) 
--- Styx's Disciples
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9395 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8466 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6395 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2395 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 1895 (Level up at 3000)   
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000) 
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)    
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp) 
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)

-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)

Retrospective 21 - That Time They Uploaded Jesus to the Moving City

To think that a few months ago I would never have imagined Maximum Godhead Hyper-Jesus being uploaded to Fortress-City Fate by one PC, taking it over, and setting off a mass uprising sparked by another PC.

And yet here we are.

We've got intrigue. We've got territory control. We've got intra-group rivalry. We've got life, death and rebirth.
My game's reaching peaks I never thought possible!


Dragons!

We've got an Apocalypse Dragon trying to pull the moon into the Earth and destroy it.

We've got another Apocalypse Dragon, directed by POWERLAD, about to dive into the core of the earth and destroy Shub-Niggurath with the omnipoison.

Fucking hell actually, speaking of dragons, we've had the first ever fight against a dragon in a whole damn decade of D&D.
The Explosion Dragon miraculously didn't kill anyone, but it took POWERLAD out of the game for a good month or so, it was nuts.

I'm pretty pleased with how the Elemental Dragons have turned out. They're powerful, deadly, and scary, but they're ultimately at a PC power-scale. This as opposed to the full size Apocalypse Dragons which have the raw power of a global extinction event.

Also, since a PC could conceivably become an Elemental Dragon, they've got an extra level of foreshadowing future power which I quite like.



Rebirth!

For the first time ever we've had a character return, resurrected but changed.
Yes, Galaxy Johnson is back!

The best part of the experience was finding out that, yet again, keeping my hands off the narrative wheel and just letting the game go wherever it wanted to go ended up with a far more compelling story than I could have planned in advance.

We'd had a whole session of a careless player gaining access to infinite but extremely literal cosmic power, ending with the player's despair at his inability to control the power he wielded and a very touching quantum suicide.
I had the weirdest feeling as the heart of the long-dead Galaxy Johnson was offered to the Entity Formerly Known as Zena, a strange tide of narrative inevitability.
I remember looking around at everyone at the table and going "fuck, he's back isn't he?", as if the world had a momentum beyond just some let's-pretend elfgame we play at a pub.

It was great.


Jesus!

The most significant campaign turnaround in recent memory, possibly the whole year, happened!
When they got back to the city of Fate, they managed to upload Hyper-Jesus to the city and allow him to take it over!
The short version is that POWERLAD had an earpiece that gave him a direct line to Terms Termax, aka Hyper-Jesus, who resides somewhere in Dwimmermount.
When they reached Fate they went to see the Queen who was jacked into the city, POWERLAD jammed the earpiece into her ear, and he took over the whole dang place.

Game changer!



Rebellion!


Possibly the coolest thing that's been going on as a result is the ongoing three-way civil war over Fortress-City Fate, aka Battlefortress Fate now that it's walking around.

In the red corner we have Hyper-Jesus, controller of the Battlefortress and commander of angels.
In the blue corner we have the Rebellion, a counter-revolutionary group opposed to Hyper-Jesus' sudden takeover, started by Styx who's always been suspicious of Hyper-Jesus' motives.
And above them both is the sudden invasion of the Black Drakencult who want nothing more than to fuck everything up in a way that benefits their Apocalypse Dragon.

It's ended up with a Cool Subsystem (tm) whereby the various districts in the city can be taken over by one of the three factions, with a little rock-paper-scissors of Resistance beats Loyalist beats Drakencult beats Resistance.
The Loyalists (Hyper-Jesus, and most of the players', faction) have an angel squad per day on-side that can take and hold any district, but they've prioritised quashing the Drakencult and thus let the Rebellion spread to take control of the whole city.
Now the Resistance has taken over the districts that let them stop the city moving, as well as the targeting array for the macrocannon, and shit's getting real bad.

At least the Drakencult's under control though.

Mini-Reviews

No Salvation for Witches

Holy shit I almost forgot this 10 session segment was kicked off with NSFW! I got it long ago when it was PWYW and finally got to use it!
Sorta reskinned it a little to fit the current campaign situation. Rather than just take down the patriarchy the plan was to also rewrite the world to be non-apocalyptic, via the imperfect knowledge of the witches.
Places they knew well were near-perfect copies, but as you get further out into places they don't know so intimately it gets less and less realistic. Towns full of generic townsfolk, other countries would have become stereotypical melanges if they existed at all, that sort of thing.

Good little module, although my players are too powerful to be stopped by a lot of the magic bullshit... which is great!

The Terpsichore entity at the centre of it all ended up being the reason that Galaxy Johnson returned so can't complain about that really!

Everything else was pretty much my own stuff! Maybe one day I'll get round to posting my Cool City Takeover Subsystem but we'll see!

Session 210 - Return to TPK Mountain

Yes, it is finally here! The recap of the last session of 2018!

With Battlefortress Fate stalled by the machinations of the Rebellion, it turns out that Mt Death Frost is remarkably close by!
A quick trip across to see what's going on finds the mountain abandoned by the Dead, yet the survivors camped with the curtain walls still fear the fortress itself.
Our heroes, likely due to poor communication on my part, head for the nearby creepy cabin instead of the fortress' back door and see a bunch of creepy stuff in the basement dungeon lazily reskinned to be Christmassy.

Also this is the time we got kicked off our table but they gave us free booze for the night so that was good.

POWERLAD returns!
Dumbledorris has her soul sucked out... then becomes a soul sucker!
Galaxy RJ starts abusing his new abilities!
Abhor Global makes their interns battle to the death!
Oliver Snels runs away and gets spooked!

Might as well start this off with a CAVALCADE OF MEMES!

- All courtesy of Charles

- Tim draws Galaxy RJ, the newly revealed Martian Inheritor

- Look how fucking stoked she is about her Tracker sheet

Session 210 - Return to TPK Mountain

Campaign Date:

Wednesday 10th June, 1601

Moon Phase: Waning Crescent

Zenith: Dispater

Zodiac: Taurus

New Backstory:
- Oliver Snels saw things… terrible things… when he investigated the fallen star.

Treasure and Equipment:

- Jewelled blood dagger (1400 exp)
- Blood ruby necklace (1000 exp)
- 1900sp in coins, idols, and other valuable miscellany (1900 exp)

Total: 4300 exp

Enemies Defeated:

- A blobby flesh chimera (50 exp) - A lithe, ghoul-claw flesh chimera (50 exp) - A skittering vampiric level-draining flesh chimera (100 exp)

Total: 200 exp

Exploration:

- First party to reach Fortress Death Frost in 50 years. (300 exp) - First party to explore the Cabin on Mt Death Frost in 50 years. (200 exp) - First party to enter the Death Frost Dungeon in 50 years. (500 exp)

Total: 1000 exp

Events:

--- POWERLAD Returns!
- Finally it’s happened, a Christmas miracle! After weeks of bed rest, POWERLAD is back on his feet! Abhor Global reports much rejoicing! (50 exp)
- He quickly checks in with the great powers - Terms Termax and the Apocalypse Dragon Ninhursag. Terms Termax, aka Hyper-Jesus, checks in first via holy earpiece. (50 exp)
- Shit’s getting overwhelming for Terms, the Resistance has taken control of the city’s main load-bearing legs and the targeting array for the city’s macrocannon. Pls halp? (50 exp)
- POWERLAD promises to see what he can do, then checks in with Ninhursag via Drakencult High Priest Telepathy Powers. The great beast is out of the ground! Below, flickering in heartbeat-vision, cultists struggle to hold back the waves of lava that threaten to swamp Moondin. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD delivers a brief mental nudge to head towards the Prime Tentacle and destroy it. With a long ponderous motion, the dragon’s enormous head sweeps towards the east. It’s happening! (50 exp)
--- Death Frost Decision
- POWERLAD returns to the party and there is much rejoicing! He’s a little surprised to find that RJ is now Galaxy RJ, long-time doppelganger and collaborator, but weirder things have happened. (50 exp)
- Since the city is currently parked up on the edge of the enormous river Deeprush, prevented from wading across due to seditious activity, it’s only a mile or so from Mt Death Frost. (50 exp)
- And since it’s so close… why not travel that way? Let the angels handle the rebels for a bit, check out the old place, see how things are these days? Plus, it’s a high level dungeon. Shitloads of treasure for sure! (50 exp)
--- Return to the Mountain
- By wing and by chain-elevator they descend from the brass-and-stone grandeur of Battlefortress Fate, the flightless jumping into Guber-brand rune-cars to approach the mountain that looms grimly overhead. (50 exp)
- It’s a brisk day. God-beams blast down distantly. There is echoing silence, the squeal of Fate’s legs fading behind. No birdsong, not any more. Bulging, cancerous tentacles pulse and squirm wetly in the muddy ground amongst rotting wood and dead leaves, fat maggots chewing through tough tentacle-flesh and detritus alike, plopping out to writhe fatly in the muck. (50 exp)
- In the air, and on the hovering Guber platforms, they are safe from the grubs. It’s only an hour or so until they reach the foot of Mt Death Frost, following the same route that another group of doomed heroes took over half a century ago… (50 exp)
- The path upwards is lined with brightly painted animated skeletons pointing the way. The traps and pitfalls that once made the ascent so difficult are long disarmed. It’s easy to get to the top these days. (50 exp)
--- Camp Death Frost
- They approach the gates of the black fortress atop the mountain and find them closed, but it’s not long before someone spots them and calls down to them. Real people! After so long! (50 exp)
- The gates are opened and the Gubers allowed in. The courtyard within is covered in tents, the people inside seem happy and determined. Painted skeletons roam, carrying supplies and equipment from place to place. Cardinal Scream’s ravens are around, but there are so few left that he finds it hard to speak. (50 exp)
- The gate guard fetches the leader of the camp - Kat Tyburn. She’s loud, aggressive, and wears ludicrous fantasy armour. (50 exp)
- She tells them that they’ve had a few exploratory delves into the fortress since they arrived a few weeks ago, fleeing the Barrowmaze after their defeat at the hands of the vampire lord Cyrus. There are massive caches of food and water, plus a block of ice that contains the frozen body of Lulu the Barbarian. (50 exp)
- Only trouble is that they can’t live in there, hence the encampment. They’ve tried, and they’ve lost people. You go mad, or disappear, or suffer stranger fates. If you brave adventurers could clear the place out it’d be a real weight off her mind let me tell you. (50 exp)
- The other trouble is that Cyrus is going to get the Ossuary of All Bones soon, which means he’ll be able to raise the skeleton of the slain Apocalypse Dragon and presumably come back to murder everyone on his mountain. Pls halp! (50 exp)
- There are two entrances to the fortress, one in front through the skull door and one on the side with the cabin. Oh, the cabin? Yea there’s a spooky cabin nobody comes back from. Don’t go there, even if there miiight be a secret way into the fortress through it. (50 exp)
- Secret fortress entrance?! Sounds great! The party heads to the cabin, and since it’s Christmastime everything suddenly gets a very pasted-on festive veneer… (50 exp)
--- The Approach to the Cabin - Festive Edition!
- The approach to the cabin has lots of spooky candy-cane-coloured gravestones, a path leading to the door, and a hanging tree with some tinsel-rope still tied around the limb. (50 exp)
- One of Snels’ seeing-eye goblins goes to climb the tree and grab the tinsel, his claws gouging into the trunk which bleeds mulled wine, but finds himself being choked on a ghostly strand of tinsel! It’s itchy as hell, and deadly! (50 exp)
- Abhor Global spread out and find a grate going deep into the earth. They dislodge the grate and lower one of their number down on a rope… but it comes back with only a foot left! Horror! (50 exp)
- They also find a body in the snow. It’s a limp sack of skin that begins to move and wriggle and… oh it’s just Corpulus Thrall. He burbles a greeting when he sees it’s them, rather than some random rebel dead dude who’s unwisely investigating alone. (50 exp)
--- The Cabin Interior - Festive Edition!
- Inside the cabin it’s all done up for christmas. Christmas tree, tinsel, the works. A moose head cries ice from its eyeless head. A smashed clock leaks clear water which freezes as it falls. There are stockings above the fireplace. (50 exp)
- They check out the whole cabin and find fuck all. Brilliant. Corpulus unhelpfully says that he’s not really explored much, he doesn’t have the muscle mass to open the trapdoor you see, plus he only got here recently and all. The rot grubs all over the place eat flesh and he’s got a lot of it so he got the hell out of Necropolis. (50 exp)
- They open the trapdoor and Corpulus sloshes into it, falls down the shaft, and splats at the bottom. There are suddenly screams, so so many screams. (50 exp)
- POWERLAD shimmies down the handholds inside the shaft and sees what’s wrong! Oh yea, if flesh touches the screaming faces down here they start screaming, and Corpulus has a lot of it. (50 exp)
- The others follow. The screaming continues, mad chanting and wailing. At the end of the corridor is a demon face. In its mouth is a key. Dumbledorris turns the key, the door swings open, everyone bundles out aaaand the screaming stops. Thank goodness. (50 exp)
--- Death Frost Dungeon - the Chapel
- They are in an antechamber with many skeletal forearms, all left hands, on small tables. They smash them up since you can’t be too careful. The hands shatter like ice, melt, and refreeze quickly. The tables have splashy ice scultpures on them now. (50 exp)
- Corpulus lets the team take point, but at least he’s following along. They enter the next area - a large underground chapel. Chains hang from the ceiling. Pews lead to an altar inside a skull-mouthed alcove. There are basins on one wall, and a huge pipe organ on the other! (50 exp)
- Abhor Global officially recommend not playing the pipe organ. Snels can’t help himself and plays the well-known ballad Smoke on the Water. (50 exp)
- There are screams elsewhere in the dungeon. Something’s been woken up… (50 exp)
- More ballads are tried. Ghostbusters nets everyone a saving throw boost in here, while the House of the Rising Sun gives his next character +1 Wisdom, if that ever happens! (50 exp)
- Abhor Global inspect the altar in the skull mouth and see the bowl is empty. Suddenly, three of the interns begin fighting to the death! Johnny Mallet tries to pretend that it’s some sort of spooky ghost thing instead of him offering a promotion to whoever wins. (50 exp)
- Their blood is poured into the altar… and two objects are revealed within! Johnny Mallet lifts a bloodsoaked ruby-encrusted dagger and a bloodsoaked ruby amulet from the bowl. Both made of BLOOOOD! A good use of volunteer labour, that. (50 exp)
- Unfortunately they are clearly cursed. This might matter to another character, but Abhor Global mostly report on fights rather than getting involved so they’re alright. (50 exp)
- The basins contain fuckloads of teeth. No problem, Johnny Mallet needs to get rid of some dental records anyway. The dead interns’ teeth are dumped into the basin, and the nearby door swings open! (50 exp)
- They head through, finding dark corridors and doors whose hatch doors were once locked with submarine-esque locking wheels. Galaxy RJ recognises them as knock-offs of the hatch doors in Dwimmermount. (50 exp)
- There’s a corridor that doesn’t involve going through a once-locked hatch. They follow it and see, coming towards them, some crawling oozing amalgams of hands and legs and feet! Flesh monsters with an assortment of fearful powers, a blobby one, a ghoul-poison one, and most terrifyingly one with vampire fang hands that drains your levels! (50 exp)
--- Battle Against the Flesh Monsters
- POWERLAD punch-casts a Web, trapping the fiends! They get stuck, and the party fires at them while they fight their way out. Dumbledorris exudes ladymones to “chill the monsters out” and it totally works on two of them! (50 exp)
- Snels, meanwhile, runs away. Fuck that noise. (50 exp)
- Galaxy RJ has finished up a fire beam rune and blasts it at the uncontrolled monster, frying it. Abhor Global run to the pipe organ to play RIng of Fire by deceased bard Johnny Cash, but succeed only in deafening themselves. (50 exp)
- With the web burning away, Dumbledorris makes them fight each other for her love. Success! The others aim their crossbows and ranged weaponry at the fiery combat, ready to nuke the loser. (50 exp)
- The vampire fang creature sucks the life out of the ghoul claw one and looks admiringly at its mistress. The others nuke it! Crossbows and fire runes blast out at it…. But it’s still alive! (50 exp)
- Betrayed and hurt, it breaks out of Dumbledorris’ control! She screams as it bites her in the leg! She feels her life essence being sucked away, crippling her leg and draining, this cannot be overstated, a whole level of experience. (50 exp)
- Galaxy RJ slaps at it and transforms into a copy. The deafened interns nearby throw the blood dagger inaccurately, see it hit the ground and slop into blood, then reappear in the intern’s hand! (50 exp)
- Galaxy RJ bites into the vampire monster, slurps up its innards, and kills it! Dumbledorris immediately collapses on it to steal its overpowered powers. (50 exp)
- Dumbledorris can now drain levels with a bite, crippling enemies and healing herself, as well as passively steal memories. Fucking hell. (50 exp)
--- Don’t Mind Me
- Galaxy RJ heads down the corridor in flesh-monster-form. The perfect disguise! In the room beyond he sees a whole squirming floor of flesh monsters, slopping around a metal frankenstein-style bed. Also in the room - a book! (50 exp)
- The Book of All Flesh details how to create flesh monsters, just like the ones in this room and the ones they fought before. Neat! He gives it to POWERLAD for safekeeping. (50 exp)
- Since he’s a flesh monster and they won’t attack him, Galaxy RJ roots around under the flabby bodies of the flesh golems, finding 1900sp in lost valuables! Sweet! (50 exp)
- There is some debate as to what to do with the flesh golems. Clearly they’ve been making more of themselves, and they’re probably the reason why investigators disappear down here. But also they’re pretty innocent. What to do? Galaxy RJ says he’ll free them one day and moves off, awkwardly. (50 exp)
--- Snels jogs on
- Snels, down the corridor, has already discovered an eye made up of many eyes. It’s creepy. He looks around and picks another corridor, coming across another open door. (50 exp)
- He enters and finds many empty child-sized burial nooks. Freaky! He fucks off, freaking out, even leaving behind the scattered copper eye-coins all over the ground. (50 exp)
--- Regroup in the Dungeon
- He returns to the rest of the party, glad that he didn’t have to fight the flesh beasts. They decide to hole up in the chapel for now and debate whether to stick around here or head back up. (50 exp)
- Thus ends D&D 2018, hanging around in a hole in the ground in a spooky dungeon beneath a spooky cabin, having fought some horrible flesh monsters that were immediately devoured by someone in the party. Classic! (50 exp)

Total: 2850 exp

Misc:

- AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa bonus (50 exp)
- Aggressive Negotiations bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Better Part of Valour bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Classic Charles bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Escape bonus (50 exp)
- Enmity Inciter bonus (50 exp)
- Fame bonus (50 exp)
- Holy bonus (50 exp)
- I Immediately Regret This Decision bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man Behind bonus (50 exp)
- Long Deliberation bonus (50 exp)
- Mind Control to Major Tom bonus (50 exp)
- Monster Infighting bonus (50 exp)
- Noblebright bonus (50 exp)
- Pundemonium bonus (50 exp)
- Ridiculously Bad Rolling bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
Total: 1050 exp

Party Roles and Individual Exp:

- Remembrancer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Caller (James / Abhor Global - 100 exp)
- Mapper (Timothy / Galaxy RJ - 100 exp)
- Treasurer (Kitty / POWERLAD - 100 exp)

- Guard (George / Oliver Snels - 100 exp)
- Tracker (Suzie / Dumbledorris - 100 exp) - Bad Succ bonus (Suzie / Dumbledorris - 100exp) - Cursed bonus (James / Abhor Global - 100 exp) - JÜGBRINGYR bonus (Kitty - 500 exp) - Art Attack bonus (Timothy, Charles - 100 exp ea.) - Artapalooza bonus (Charles - 100 exp)

Active Businesses:

- Blood Honey Healing 4 U (Co-dependent businesses)

--- Honey Healing. Safe. 1095sp. (Bertha)

--- Blood Honey 4 U. Safe. 10515sp. (Sir Robyn)

Rumours:

-

Death Toll and Injuries:

- Dumbledorris had her life essence sucked from her by a horrible vampire flesh monster, losing an entire level!

Exp Totals:

- Kitty / High Priest POWERLAD!, Level 8 Muscle Wizard: 149678 (Level up at 288000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 11 (-55% exp) 

- Suzie / Dumbledorris, Level 5 Inheritor: 29080 (Level up at 36000)
*LEVEL DRAIN* -1d6 HP. -2 meat points. -1 mutation capacity
- Timothy / Galaxy RJ, Level 6 Martian Inheritor: 38181 (Level up at 72000)

- James / Abhor Global, Level 4 Extras: 7852 (Level up at 12000)
*DING!* +1d12 HP! +Named Character! +backstory!
- Jorge / Oliver Snels, Level 3 Barbarian: 5773 (Level up at 8000)
*DING!* +1d8 HP! +2 rolls on Barbarian Table! +1 round rage! +backstory!

(Absent) Exp Totals 2 - Styx and the Twelve Apostles:
- Carter / Styx, Level 7 Goblin: 82575 (Level up at 128000)
--- Break, Robo-Armoured Goblin Buddy
--- 5 more Goblin Buddies
--- Dominique, Level 4 Necromancer: 9550 (Level up at 18000)
--- Ilda, Level 4 Fighter: 8621 (Level up at 16000)
--- Heriael, Level 3 Elf (Hauntling Glister): 6550 (Level up at 12000)
--- Zam, Level 2 Fighter: 2550 (Level up at 4000)
--- Hrundlfrust, Level 2 Specialist: 2050 (Level up at 3000)
--- Blixxer, Level 2 Specialist: 2050 (Level up at 3000) 

Absent or Retired:
- Tim D / Mortlocke, Level 3 Necromancer: 5350 (Level up at 9000) 
- Charles, ??? Romantico, Level 3 Barbarian: 5244 (Level up at 8000) 
- Kitty / Bertha, Level 4 Necromancer: 10892 (Level up at 18000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)    
- Kitty / Andromeda, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 23376 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 8 (-40% exp) 
- Timothy / Sir Robyn, Level 6 Magic-User: 62159 (Level up at 72000)
- Ollie / Flaming Fury, Level 6 Dwarf: 49511 (Level up at 70400)

-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 4 (-20% exp) 
- Charles / Galaxy Johnson, Level 6 Reincarnated Shadow-Elf: 53575 (Level up at 96000)
-- Devotee of Ereshkigal, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Jevgeni / Antez, Level 2 Necromancer: 3571 (Level up at 4500)
- Grecia / Glycon, Level 2 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 3571 (Level up at 6000)
- Ollie / Synthia, Level 5 Inheritor: 24881 (Level up at 36000)
-- Devotee of Ninhursag, Bond 3 (-15% exp)
- Henry / Witchfinder-Sergeant, Level 5 Cleric (Unorthodox): 14963 (Level up at 28000)
--- Erstwhile, Level 2 Muscle Wizard: 3105 (Level up at 4500)
- James / Ratimir, Level 6 Ratman: 33991 (Level up at 48000)
- Andy / Carrie Meleste, Level 6 Termaxian Cleric: 52811 (Level up at 56000)
--- 4 Henchmen Undeserving of Names, Level 0 Bootlickers
- Kyle / Gimlass the Brave, Level 2 Dwarf: 2257 (Level up at 4400)
- Ollie / Tremendo Picante, Level 2 Ratman: 2654 (Level up at 3000)
- James / Raaf van Held, Level 4 Fighter: 14838 (Level up at 16000)